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Rookie2010
02-07-2011, 04:47 AM
Now i've yet to experience anything note worthy of being described as horrible in the getting dances department but i'm sure many of you have some war stories of bad experiences
I've read some people post of having a drunk dancer puke on them LOL

Anyone have any very bad (lapdance) experiences? }:D

bem401
02-07-2011, 08:25 AM
Now i've yet to experience anything note worthy of being described as horrible in the getting dances department but i'm sure many of you have some war stories of bad experiences
I've read some people post of having a drunk dancer puke on them LOL

Anyone have any very bad (lapdance) experiences? }:D

Other than girls who just didn't give very good dances, the only one that comes to mind is when one of my favorites fell asleep (passed out?) in CR. It pretty much made a waste of that particular dance.

yoda57us
02-07-2011, 08:32 AM
I've had plenty of just plain bad lap dances but I can't think of any real calamities that occured during a dance. Several years ago I did have a near miss. I had just finished doing about ten dances with my then ATF. She was called to the stage and, halfway through her stage set, her period started...

penandink1019
02-07-2011, 09:02 AM
No screwball-comedy mishaps. Some atrociously bad dances, but that's par for the course. Probably the most memorable was a favorite of mine who loved doing shots. One time, when we were both mighty fucked-up, I complained that my t-shirt (under my dress oxford) had a small rip in it. She told me to remove the outer shirt and then quick as a cobra ripped the t-shirt in half off me, using the tiny rip as a starting point. Laughing hysterically, she tied what was left of the t-shirt behind me, tranny-style. It was goofy and definitely not erotic. But memorable.

Chili Palmer
02-07-2011, 10:18 AM
Two come to mind:

1) At Tiffany's Cabaret (now Christie's), had a dancer who just crushed my quads to the point I thought the UN was going to issue a warrant for war crimes against her.

2) At Bourbon Street Circus, had a rather athletic dancer make a handstand move in my lap and slip--sending her 8" spiked heel hurtling towards my left eye, missing me by inches.

Boring or lame dances come with the territory, but those two stand out hand and shoulders above the rest for being memorably bad. Thankfully, I've had thousands of good ones, so the good/bad ratio is quite heavily skewed towards the good.

CP

billh
02-07-2011, 12:11 PM
She was called to the stage and, halfway through her stage set, her period started...

Been there. She was a sweetheart so I wasn't mad in the least. We laugh about it now.

lopaw
02-07-2011, 08:03 PM
The most dangerous (and therefore BAD) LD I can remember was when a very drunk dancer tried to slowly and sensuously slide down the length of my body and, after losing her footing, proceeded to slam her chin full on to the bridge of my nose. Crazy bitch was so drunk that she just kept on clumsily dancing on me while I writhed beneath her in major nose-pain.

I had a hell of a time explaining the two black eyes I came home with that night :O.

RBurgundy
02-08-2011, 06:34 PM
Easy since it has happened twice and just happened last weekend.

First time, in Reno, did a VIP with a girl, came out and had makeup (or tanning crap) ground into my nice tan slacks. There was nothing to do but hijack it out of there back to the casino for a change in clothes. That was 2-3 years ago.

Just happened again last weekend. In Dallas for the SB and went to Baby Dolls with a buddy. Did a couple hours in CR with a cutie. Didn't even notice this time til we got out of the club (in daylight still), and my buddy starts cracking up and pointing at my crotch. Except this time, I don't think it was makeup ground in there. Ewww.>:(

bigmarv
02-08-2011, 07:21 PM
The only bad dances I have ever had were from dancers who acted like they really didn't want to be there. All they really did was save me some money.

Rookie2010
02-09-2011, 01:29 AM
2) At Bourbon Street Circus, had a rather athletic dancer make a handstand move in my lap and slip--sending her 8" spiked heel hurtling towards my left eye, missing me by inches.

I hope i never get a heel to the eye..reminds me of this news story.

Man Gets $650,000 After Eye Injury During Lap Dance

Slin
02-11-2011, 12:51 AM
The worst would be the first dance I ever got. It was my first time in a club and despite planning to wait a bit before getting dance; I ended going towards the lap dance area of the club with the first attractive girl that said "Hey baby wanna dance?" to me. She was a stereotypically cold Eastern European chick who didn't want to be there. She didn't even sit in my lap. Instead she just spent the entire song standing in front of me, rubbing her right shin against my crotch. That was it. Now, given I had never even been in a strip club before I thought this was totally awesome. It wasn't until later when I had more experience with strip clubs that I realized how truly sucky this "dance" was.

Wayne Root
02-14-2011, 06:44 PM
What really makes for a shitty lap dance is when she is overt about simply "going through the motions." Sometimes, the dancer doesn't even bother looking at the customer. When this happens to me, I stop her after one dance. Other times, she makes it obvious that her mind is other things than me. Again, I won't give her a second dance. If they're not going to provide a one-on-one experience, they should just stay home. Otherwise, I feel cheated.

JoeUnCool
02-18-2011, 11:37 AM
While I am sure that I have complained over numerous ones, the absolute worst one that I EVAR had was from a girl that I thought was really hot, just my type about 15 years ago. I had my foot in a cast. They did actual dances on the tables at this place then. This B**** got off the table, put the spike of her shoe into the one spot in the cast where it could hit my foot, and she proceeded to fall on the floor. My attitude went from "I like this girl to I never want to see this chick again" in less than a tenth of a second. The girl got up and asked me if I wanted another dance. Of course, I said no. I gave her her money and told her to never talk to me again because she was a clod.

I've had other weird ones, but this one took the cake for me.

rlams2000
02-19-2011, 03:16 PM
Two bad dances come to mind. Both had to do with their odor, one smelled like she didn't wipe her ass after taking a crap and the second's breath smelled like she licked the first girls ass.

A real mood killer.

Slin
02-20-2011, 12:43 PM
One thing - I've noticed that the best dances I've gotten have been from girls that were not the most attractive dancers in the club. Similarly, some of the worst dances I've gotten have been from girls that were smokin' in terms of just physical appearance.

Rookie2010
02-20-2011, 12:46 PM
One thing - I've noticed that the best dances I've gotten have been from girls that were not the most attractive dancers in the club. Similarly, some of the worst dances I've gotten have been from girls that were smokin' in terms of just physical appearance.
For me it has been the opposite, the hottest dancers seem to be the ones who actually know how to give a dance and the ones who aren't the most attractive lacked in that department but it seems have been more open with contact to make up for it.

sadbuttrue
02-20-2011, 01:34 PM
There was a girl that danced for me a couple of times who was "iffy" as far as looks go, but the right body type and mileage.

Since she had danced for me before, I thought nothing of taking for a dance and we went out back. Well, there was something I hadn't noticed. She started dancing for me and there was a boil on her butt. So I think I was reliving the Austin Powers "mole" routine: "Boil, boil, boil". Oh, by the way, before I saw that, she tried to stick her tongue down my throat. Now I have been known to engage in that with the right girl, but the two of those things make for a very unpleasant memory.

I got rid of her as quickly as possible.

Sad

dlabtot
02-20-2011, 02:20 PM
The dancer with bad breath. That was the worst one.

firemaiden04
02-28-2011, 10:59 AM
There was a girl at my last club that would take her shoes off, climb onto the guy with one foot on or right next to each of his thighs, and "grind" (move back and forth on his crotch) the entire dance. It was a sliding motion, not a grinding motion, and I'm fairly sure she wasn't actually hitting his crotchmost of the time--and when she did, it was definitely not in a good way. Guys always said it actually physically hurt them--I saw guys actually pay her to stop.

She was actually a very nice girl...just not a good dancer. I mean, what is the point of a lap dance that neither feels good nor looks attractive?

Usagi
03-04-2011, 09:19 PM
Two come to mind...

The first one was from a dancer named Star (aptly named because she had a star tattoo). She danced on stage well and seemed nice, so I did two dances with her. She just faced me, sat on my lap, and grinded back and forth. I thought the second song would be better, but it was the same thing. She could have moved around and showed me her boobs and butt, but nothing else happened! I dubbed it "the world's worst lap dance."

Another time happened in a 1/2 hour champagne room. The dancer did a pretty good dance for 20 minutes. Then for the last 10 minutes, she feel asleep. She was so drunk that she passed out. She even tried to get a tip from me. Sorry, I don't tip for napping. I had to help her get to the dressing room because she was so drunk.

Casual Observer
03-06-2011, 05:13 PM
Two dances come to mind:

First was a staggeringly hot black chick with arguably the leanest, most athletically built body I've ever seen on a dancer. Truly amazing. But the girl proceeded to try and break off my penis or something by bouncing on my lap like she was doing Crossfit squats. Horrible experience and I stopped it after one dance.

The second was slower in the realization, but probably very common. Girl started the dance, and about 30 seconds into it, I'm smelling something foul, but it takes a bit for me to realize this girl probably has a BV infection, at which point she does a handstand putting her ass near my face and causing me to gag and end it right at that moment. That killed my whole night.

minnow
03-07-2011, 02:12 PM
No real extraordinary event from my end. The 2 main categories for worst lap dance seem to involve either 1) Discomfort/pain inflicted on recipient, 2) Dancer BO of various origin.

My events in category #1: Yes, I've had some dancers who think that I'm a practice dummy for a bucking bronco contest. I still remember a couple that happened over 12 years ago. The worst, though, happened in the last 5 years in that besides her rough style, she A) Did the start the dance in mid-song trick B) Had the nerve to ask for a tip, and became very indignant when I didn't proffer a tip.

Category #2 is very rare, but does happen. Most "memorable" one happened before the dance interval in that dancer cut a putrid "sbd". Thing is, she was a fave, apologized after I commented on odor.:O

PhillyDude
03-08-2011, 11:20 PM
Two dances come to mind:

First was a staggeringly hot black chick with arguably the leanest, most athletically built body I've ever seen on a dancer. Truly amazing. But the girl proceeded to try and break off my penis or something by bouncing on my lap like she was doing Crossfit squats. Horrible experience and I stopped it after one dance.

The second was slower in the realization, but probably very common. Girl started the dance, and about 30 seconds into it, I'm smelling something foul, but it takes a bit for me to realize this girl probably has a BV infection, at which point she does a handstand putting her ass near my face and causing me to gag and end it right at that moment. That killed my whole night.

LOL. Sorry -I really chuckled at the gagging comment.

I had a dance once and all I remembered was the Who left the old tuna fish sandwich?, smell That was like 15 yrs ago and its still a vivid smemory.

LittleSnuglet
11-15-2011, 09:35 PM
Because lopaw asked very nicely for an update...Here it is...

A couple dances come to mind:

First was a dancer named Finesse, I saw her on stage giving a sensual performance. I initially bought one topless dance(I never buy nude dances) and enjoyed it. Then decided to get a couch dance (Min. 3 songs), it started off sensual then turned into a rodeo. She was bouncing hard on my hips and thighs and it hurt like hell. Thankfully it was only three songs, after it ended I thanked her for her time and headed to the bar for a bag of ice (to numb the pain). For the life of me I don't know why I didn't have the heart to tell her I was suffering.

Second was from Caramel (Seriously, where do these names come from?), a nice petite brunette Latina. I approached her for a dance (never again, hats off to Gen) and she lead me to the LD booth. She started with a tease which turned into an air dance then a grind for the remaining (maybe longer) 20 seconds. For the duration of the dance I could tell that she didn't want to be here and was merely giving the bare minimum. After the dance she asked "Can I have a tip?" I said "No, thank you" and walked away. Outrageous....

Third was from a new girl whose name I do not remember (It was her first day). Anyhow, she was just plain clumsy. I was elbowed in the face when she was trying to take off the top portion of the one piece. Then she stepped on my hand with her heels while trying out a new move. Then she slipped and fell on me while transitioning into another move. WTF! >:( However, after browsing the archives of SW, I know better than to be a bitch about it so I thanked her for her time and wished her good luck. Seriously though, WTF!!!! >:(

I'll post more when I remember them.

lopaw
11-15-2011, 11:12 PM
Thanx, LittleSnuglet!


Lessee.....I've been pretty lucky since the last "black eye" incident, but a few come to mind:

1. Got a dance with a fave in a divey club, and, like in minnow's case, she cut an SBD near the end of an other wise great set of LD's. God - I wanted to die twice - once for her obvious embarrassment, and secondly for the smell (as George Carlin would have said "it could knock a buzzard off a shitwagon"). Poor girl. I saw her again a few months later, when I came into the club and saw her dancing onstage. She saw me and did a nice, sensual dance toward me as I approached the stage to tip her. That's when I saw it - her tampon string hanging out of her coochie. I smiled nervously for a minute, then beckoned her over to the edge of the stage to tell her. She ran offstage hysterical and I never saw her again. Oh Lordy.

2. Had a dancer get her period as she was giving me a nude LD. She freaked out big time (as you'd expect), but since I'm a girl she rationalized that I'd understand. But how in hell was I gonna explain blood streaks on my jeans when I got home? So I did what I usually do - I took my pants off in the car and stuffed them under my driver's seat. I do things like that so often my SO never even raises an eyebrow anymore ;D.

3. Similar to LittleSnuglet's incident, there was a dancer that grinded SO hard on my clit that I was bruised for a week. And it hurt like a mo-fo, too. I know she meant well and I'd give her an "A" for effort, but an "F" for execution.....jeez!

LittleSnuglet
11-16-2011, 12:00 AM
Lol! Thats Bad!

The other dances I've received aren't as bad. But its pretty close e.g. (forgetting to wipe completely down there, funky smell down there, mouse showing, boring dance etc..)

However, there is one dance that I recently received from a new girl. She gave a great dance, very erotic and sensual with light grinding. I loved every moment of it. When the dance was over, she started saying how she didn't want to be here, or how shes only here because money is tight (essentially lots of whining). The dance itself wasn't bad, but her pouting killed the mood.

AmyLynne
11-16-2011, 12:24 AM
it's our constitutional right to pout....



Lol! Thats Bad!

The other dances I've received aren't as bad. But its pretty close e.g. (forgetting to wipe completely down there, funky smell down there, mouse showing, boring dance etc..)

However, there is one dance that I recently received from a new girl. She gave a great dance, very erotic and sensual with light grinding. I loved every moment of it. When the dance was over, she started saying how she didn't want to be here, or how shes only here because money is tight (essentially lots of whining). The dance itself wasn't bad, but her pouting killed the mood.

Kessler
11-16-2011, 03:27 AM
Two spring to mind that are pretty similar to what's been posted...

Got a 3-song with a petite Korean dancer who looked harmless as a mouse. She started slow and sensual... but during the second song, proceeded to grind into my crotch like she was the pestle and I was the mortar. She was hellbent on crushing anything under her crotch. By the third song, I was rubbed raw. I guess she took my grimacing for pleasure because she started grinding HARDER, shifted her weight abruptly and squished a ball. I yelped, she apologized and the VIP was mercifully over. I moseyed out like a cowboy who's been riding too long...

The next week, I avoided said "mousey" dancer and approached one of the more cockier girls. I figured maybe the law of inverses would work in my favor. Not quite. She was much more gentle and sensual... but the minute she opened her legs... the smell was like the inside of my shoe if someone cracked a rotten egg into it and left it in the sun. I've had some whiffers before, but this one took the cake. After the dance was over, I smelled it walking out of the club. I smelled it in the car ride home. I smelled it AFTER a shower! The pungency was stuck in my nostrils until the next day when I had Italian for dinner (thank goodness for garlic).

KeithDoxen
11-16-2011, 09:53 PM
Haven't had a lot of "bad" lap dances. Most aren't as awesome as I think they're going to be, and only a few have really knocked my socks off. During my fledgling strip club days while I was in college, I seem to recall buying a dance from a girl at the local Deja Vu (where heavy grinding during dances was the norm) who proceeded to give me what was mostly an air dance. Maybe she was new. Whatever the case, I politely paid her and then made sure to never buy a dance from her again. I really dislike air dances. What's the point, really?

Most of my "bad" experiences with dances have more to due with the girl's attitude than the actual dance. Was visiting friends in Nashville and got an LD from a girl at the Deja Vu in town. Perfectly good dance, but as soon as the dance ended and I began to get my wallet to pay her, she started being extremely rude to me, basically making bitchy comments to whatever I said as I was getting her money. It was strange because she had been fine until the dance was over. I can't think of anything I did to offend her, and a part of me wonders whether that was sort of her way of taking out her frustrations on her customers, by being rude to them after they've already bought the dance, meaning that her income won't be hurt by her rudeness. Still, doesn't seem like a smart way to get repeat customers.

kikidejavu
11-16-2011, 10:06 PM
My mom's bf said he got a dance once and that the girl must not have washed her ass too good that day. He said the whole front of his pants and lap smelled after the dance. He said he was ready to go after that, ruined the night! lmao!

RonClubn
11-17-2011, 05:29 AM
I'm glad this thread was revived. Like a lot of you, my two worst LD's involved pain and odor.

Plenty of times, I've had grinding go from pleasure to pain but I swear this one dancer was trying to turn my penis into hamburger! It was in a very small booth and she even went as far as pushing against the side walls to get leverage and grind harder! Her whole dance was rough as hell. She constantly pushed against me as hard as she could. She ran her hands through my hair but would scrape hard over my scalp with her nails. She also pulled my earlobes with her teeth and stood on my crotch while climbing up to stand over me. I didn't know if I was getting a dance or she was kicking my ass! After, I went into the bathroom to pull myself together and holy shit, I was a total mess. A button ripped off my shirt. My hair was all over the place. I had streaks of her body makeup or something on my shirt and jeans. This glitter she had on was embeded into my skin and clothes, and my penis was throbbing in pain.

The other time was more of a stage-side mini LD. I was sitting at the stage. The dancer walks over to get my tip. At this club, they straddle you at your chair when you tip. With her legs around me, she grabs the back of my head and pushes it against her thong (right over her *****). She rubbed my face into it for a good 2-3 seconds. Awesome right? Wrong! The odor was by far the worst thing I've ever smelled and honestly, I can't begin to describe it. There are no known odors to categorize it under or compare it to. The stench remained on my face through 2 face scrubbings and a shower. It seemed to have to "wear off" over the next couple days. Nasty stuff!

lestat1
11-19-2011, 12:16 PM
Yup, pain and odor.

I've had the dances where she's grinding against me like if she does it hard enough my testicles will turn into diamonds that she can keep.

I've had bad butt odor before, but the worst was from a dancer in a thong who kept shoving her butt literally against my nose. It smelled like she just dropped a deuce and didn't wipe.

liberator
11-20-2011, 11:28 AM
Sounds like some of these girls could give a man a curved penis?

Cheo_D
11-20-2011, 04:41 PM
I dunno, but some seem to be trying. Even in the heat of passion the woman's body weight should be supported by something other than the man's nuts. Quick deflation of the mood and much not-pleasant soreness everywhere is the aftermath. Makes one develop an appreciation for there being at least a little bit of "air" in the dance.

yoda57us
11-21-2011, 07:09 AM
I'm semi confused... maybe it's just because I have a really big ass... but I don't think it's even possible for me to put all of my weight on a man (or woman!)'s genitals.


Interesting point. Honestly, the only time I recall any sort of painful LD experiences it has been from dancers with boney asses!. This may be the key to my long-time preference for Brazilian women!

Kessler
11-22-2011, 05:42 AM
Desuvs, see "petite Korean dancer" - ass bone like a friggin' razor blade. ;) Honestly, it was one of the worst dances I've ever gotten. When she was facing me, it was "let's see how fast and hard I can go". Sounds fun in theory... in reality, it's rug burn. When she was facing away, it wasn't grinding - more like she was seeing how hard she could push her ass into my lap in a weird, herky-jerky motion. Just... odd.

JoeUnCool
11-22-2011, 07:03 AM
LDs can be painful. I had a girl once that wanted to put her shins across my thighs during a couch dance. She started bouncing up and down. After about 10 seconds, I let out a scream and said she had to stop. It just hurt to frickin' bad.

Generating pain is about pressure. Pressure is force divided by surface area. the more weight, the more force, thus the more pressure. The less surface area, as in bony legs/shins, the more pressure. In fact, the shins, because they have so little surface area because its the bones you are worried about, will cause a lot of pain. This girl wasn't fat and wasn't thin.

Natalllia
11-22-2011, 02:44 PM
Lol! Thats Bad!

The other dances I've received aren't as bad. But its pretty close e.g. (forgetting to wipe completely down there, funky smell down there, mouse showing, boring dance etc..)

However, there is one dance that I recently received from a new girl. She gave a great dance, very erotic and sensual with light grinding. I loved every moment of it. When the dance was over, she started saying how she didn't want to be here, or how shes only here because money is tight (essentially lots of whining). The dance itself wasn't bad, but her pouting killed the mood.

What does "mouse showing" mean?
Is this some euphemism I haven't heard of yet?/:O

iDontGoPrivate
11-22-2011, 03:58 PM
Anyone have any very bad (lapdance) experiences? }:D

Mine was thankfully a unique experience.

I'd returned to a club to see a dancer from whom I'd previously bought some private dances.

We went to their CR (basically, two highback chairs separated by a partition, and each side of the partition was a "room").

I sit down. She starts dancing. Five minutes into this painfully long hour, someone sat in the other room. She moves away from me, and looks to see who is there.

No biggie, I thought.

She makes some hand gestures. She smiles. She waits a minute, nods her head, points at something, laughs, clearly having some non-verbal discussion.

I'm sitting. I'm waiting.

She pulls on the string of her thong. She spanks herself. She pauses, then laughs. One hundred percent of her attention was on whoever was in the next room.

I'm still sitting. I'm still waiting. I fold my arms and continue to wait for about another 10 minutes.

When she finally looks back at me, I ask "What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Ok. Who's over there?"

"Nobody." She pauses. "Well nobody to worry about, just my Regular."

My arms are still folded. I ask if she could take two steps away from the partition (this would break eye contact).

She refused, explaining that her Regular is like This, and her Regular is like That; blah blah blah, my Regular. He is really loyal, demands her loyalty in return, and gets jealous when she gives attention to anyone else.

Further details aside, I spent the next 40-ish minutes watching her dance for her Regular in the next room; he was in "his" room, she was in "our" room. :-\

lopaw
11-22-2011, 08:33 PM
Mine was thankfully a unique experience.

I'd returned to a club to see a dancer from whom I'd previously bought some private dances.

We went to their CR (basically, two highback chairs separated by a partition, and each side of the partition was a "room").

I sit down. She starts dancing. Five minutes into this painfully long hour, someone sat in the other room. She moves away from me, and looks to see who is there.

No biggie, I thought.

She makes some hand gestures. She smiles. She waits a minute, nods her head, points at something, laughs, clearly having some non-verbal discussion.

I'm sitting. I'm waiting.

She pulls on the string of her thong. She spanks herself. She pauses, then laughs. One hundred percent of her attention was on whoever was in the next room.

I'm still sitting. I'm still waiting. I fold my arms and continue to wait for about another 10 minutes.

When she finally looks back at me, I ask "What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Ok. Who's over there?"

"Nobody." She pauses. "Well nobody to worry about, just my Regular."

My arms are still folded. I ask if she could take two steps away from the partition (this would break eye contact).

She refused, explaining that her Regular is like This, and her Regular is like That; blah blah blah, my Regular. He is really loyal, demands her loyalty in return, and gets jealous when she gives attention to anyone else.

Further details aside, I spent the next 40-ish minutes watching her dance for her Regular in the next room; he was in "his" room, she was in "our" room. :-\


Wow.
That is BEYOND unforgivable.
Talk about taking a customer for granted!
Screw her AND her "Regular".

If it had been me in your place I would have walked out after she refused to abandon the partition....and I would have made it clear to her that her almighty Regular has gotta pay for whatever time I already wasted in there.

iDontGoPrivate
11-22-2011, 09:12 PM
Wow.
That is BEYOND unforgivable.
Talk about taking a customer for granted!
Screw her AND her "Regular".

If it had been me in your place I would have walked out after she refused to abandon the partition....and I would have made it clear to her that her almighty Regular has gotta pay for whatever time I already wasted in there.

I thought about just walking out, but decided the view I had going for me would be much nicer than that of the airport. ;D

LittleSnuglet
11-23-2011, 02:27 AM
What does "mouse showing" mean?
Is this some euphemism I haven't heard of yet?/:O

I meant the dancer's tampon string was peeking through. Usually it's nothing important but when a dancer is shoving her ass in your face, the string really stands out (especially under UV lighting). It was almost like watching a mini-glowstick performance.

LittleSnuglet
11-23-2011, 02:29 AM
I thought about just walking out, but decided the view I had going for me would be much nicer than that of the airport. ;D

You could've just bought a dance from a different dancer. Preferably from one that has her priorities straight.

JoeUnCool
11-23-2011, 08:24 AM
Mine was thankfully a unique experience.

I'd returned to a club to see a dancer from whom I'd previously bought some private dances.

We went to their CR (basically, two highback chairs separated by a partition, and each side of the partition was a "room").

I sit down. She starts dancing. Five minutes into this painfully long hour, someone sat in the other room. She moves away from me, and looks to see who is there.

No biggie, I thought.

She makes some hand gestures. She smiles. She waits a minute, nods her head, points at something, laughs, clearly having some non-verbal discussion.

I'm sitting. I'm waiting.

She pulls on the string of her thong. She spanks herself. She pauses, then laughs. One hundred percent of her attention was on whoever was in the next room.

I'm still sitting. I'm still waiting. I fold my arms and continue to wait for about another 10 minutes.

When she finally looks back at me, I ask "What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Ok. Who's over there?"

"Nobody." She pauses. "Well nobody to worry about, just my Regular."

My arms are still folded. I ask if she could take two steps away from the partition (this would break eye contact).

She refused, explaining that her Regular is like This, and her Regular is like That; blah blah blah, my Regular. He is really loyal, demands her loyalty in return, and gets jealous when she gives attention to anyone else.

Further details aside, I spent the next 40-ish minutes watching her dance for her Regular in the next room; he was in "his" room, she was in "our" room. :-\

This is one of those things I don't understand. No one likes to talk about it, but this is a business. If you don't make the customer happy, the customer should be able to ask for a refund. I've seen these things play out before in clubs. Twice, I've seen the club manager refund the customer, believe it or not. I've also been screwed out of my money in a club, and the manager was involved, so I know how it is. Was a regular at that club and have never stepped back in that club again.

My guess is that your situation was a dancer inspired event, so complaining would be appropriate.

BTW, I understand how hard it is to "stand up for yourself" in a club, but this type of business/customer relationship is not acceptable.

Kessler
11-23-2011, 09:42 AM
@Idont - Reading that made me upset for you. Definitely takes the cake thus far.

Another possible solution - go to the regular and ask if he'd like to switch dancers (provided you find his dancer attractive). I bet your dancer, his dancer and he would have agreed.

Refunds are hard to ask for because, well, what qualifies as an legit 'unhappy' customer? There's the custie who's unhappy because he genuinely got a bad dance...and then there's the handsy custie who's just pissed because he didn't get the mileage he wanted. At that point, it's a 'he said, she said' dilemma that falls into the hands of the CR floaters. Tough spot.

iDontGoPrivate
11-23-2011, 09:54 AM
You could've just bought a dance from a different dancer. Preferably from one that has her priorities straight.

True, though this particular place was one of those "out in the middle of nowhere" clubs, twenty miles outside of a small town in the Bible Belt; the dancer was one of only 3-4 others, and the only Hottie.

I viewed this unfortunate event as a learning experience. I got to see great example of a Regular who came off like a jealous jerkwad.

iDontGoPrivate
11-23-2011, 10:19 AM
@JoeUnCool, @Kessler

I have learned to ask for refunds when I think it appropriate; when to ask, how to ask...that's a tough call to make, and always a rough scene for anyone at the club who gets involved (manager, bouncer, floater, etc).

This occasion didn't seem worth the trouble for a few reasons, mostly because I'd used a company credit card, and I thought it better to not raise too many flags for the accounting manager.

On a side note: since then, I'm 1-1, statistically.

One time I got played for the number of songs (like I paid for 6, she danced for 1; the manager told me to GTFO).

The other time, a favorite dancer had come in on her day off to do some VIP time with me, but she wasn't feeling well, so we agreed to cut things short; her manager handed me my refund and a free pass.


Guess which place kept me as a patron for a time :)

KeithDoxen
11-23-2011, 01:50 PM
One time I got played for the number of songs (like I paid for 6, she danced for 1; the manager told me to GTFO).


You have to be VERY careful these days to count the number of songs, and perhaps after each song say, "Okay that's 1; okay, that's 2" and so on. In the last couple of years I've noticed that a lot of dancers seem to be "adding" a song when you do multiple dances and ask them at the end how many you owe her for. This never happened to me before 2009 or so and I suspect that the bad economy is the reason.

I value honesty in commerce very highly; when a girl does this to me, she can be assured that I'll never be a repeat customer. A lot of dancers aren't looking at the big picture when they do this. Sure, you can overcharge 5 customers a night a song each and end up with another 100 bucks, or you can stay honest and focus on turning those customers into regulars, which will lead to a more steady cash flow long term. Rich v. poor mentality.

wall
11-26-2011, 07:13 AM
Now i've yet to experience anything note worthy of being described as horrible in the getting dances department but i'm sure many of you have some war stories of bad experiences
I've read some people post of having a drunk dancer puke on them LOL

Anyone have any very bad (lapdance) experiences? }:D

Off the top of my head?

The gal who passed out halfway through a short song at 2001 Odyssey, woke up near the end (yes, I let her sit on my lap chin on chest) and wanted to charge me for 2 dances. or

The dancer at Cadillac Lounge that was a great conversationalist, and not even a bad dancer, but had not wiped properly and proceeded to put herself very close to my face for nearly an entire song. Full nude. or

The gal that bled all over me at Hawaii Theater.

LittleSnuglet
12-13-2011, 02:13 AM
Recently a stripper let loose a wet sbd during a dance. Fortunately, it happened when she was grinding. I wasn't too annoyed but my trip was cut very short (and I had just finished doing laundry)...