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Kellydancer
05-20-2011, 10:54 PM
I got my first direct rejection while doing this and am bummed. I created a profile at this one free site awhile back mostly to screw an innocent man. This is when I was devastated when my last guy dumped me and I was bitter with men. I didn't go through my plan and pretty much forgot about the profile until a few months ago when I started getting several messages. I then briefly uploaded my photo, wrote a more in depth profile and got hundreds of responses.

Most of the guys were either dads (though my profile states bluntly no dads)or illiterate morons. One guy started sending me messages everyday then would call me names when I didn't get back to him right away. He then would apologize. I gave him 2 chances then when he did it again I blocked him. I had several like him contact me. His grammar was beyond poor but I overlooked that.

So then a guy I was interested in actually contacted me and he lives 20 minutes away or so. He seemed like a match for me, he was athletic, he had a college degree, he was even never married, no kids and Catholic. I started talking to him quite a bit. Then the other day he sent me a bunch of questions and I replied honestly. After that, he messaged me that he decided I was too far away to meet (a lie)and that he decided I wasn't what he wanted. Obviously I said something in my messages that he didn't like. Either that or he wanted something else like maybe casual sex (I want a relationship).

I feel like perhaps I am destined to be a crazy cat lady. I know I won't appeal to all guys or he might have wanted something else but still let down. Everytime I like a guy they don't like me and the guys who like me I never like. I thought online would be different but I guess not. There was one guy that I actually contacted and he deleted my message after I sent it. I got several messages but every single guy is either obese or a dad.

Kellydancer
05-22-2011, 11:37 PM
Unfortunately, the times I contacted a guy they weren't interested. One guy sounded like what I wanted as he claimed he was looking to get married, what I wanted, even worked in my former field. So on a Monday I sent him the message, on Tuesday he read it and Wednesday he deleted it.

sammii
05-22-2011, 11:51 PM
All you'll find on Craigslist is horny men who are hoping to bang some hot, young chick. I've never online dated, but the ones I see commercials for are E-Harmony and Zoosk.

Lacey3xD
05-23-2011, 12:07 AM
I was turned on to a site by a gal friend and actually met a couple of quality guys. Funny as it may sound the site is sevenorbetter.com. and from my experienceits true.

Kellydancer
05-23-2011, 12:06 PM
There is no way an intelligent, hot stripper can turn into a crazy old cat lady. Maybe you should consider moving, maybe there are more women than men in your area or the men in your area are just not your type.

A lot of cities in the South and out west (Colorado baby =) ) have way more men in them than women, thus higher chances of finding a hot catch and settling down. Even cities where there at least is a close to equal number of single men and women can be good. For some reason NYC has something like 300,000 more single women than single men, but Boston only four hours away has almost the same amount of single men and women and if you google it, it has been deemed one of the best cities for singles to find a mate because of that.

Luckily, I live near (and plan to move closer to) Chicago which has a lot of single men. Where I currently live (an hour away) is full of divorced dads and not many single people in general. Someone once asked me if I would move to be with a guy and I replied yes as long as it's a place I could find a job as well.

I know sometimes I over react but at 40 I am afraid I won't find a guy, which is why I am looking now. I'm thinking of joining a paid site because I lurk on Match and within a 40 mile radius I get something like 600 profiles of guys exactly what I want.

Billabong
05-23-2011, 01:15 PM
Unfortunately, the times I contacted a guy they weren't interested. One guy sounded like what I wanted as he claimed he was looking to get married, what I wanted, even worked in my former field. So on a Monday I sent him the message, on Tuesday he read it and Wednesday he deleted it.

Ha! your whole story sounds like mine while online dating. I get many messages, but most are fools, weirdos, not physically attractive to me, too old, have too many children or just want sex. When I try to message the ones I like first, I rarely ever get a response back and if I do they're just being polite and are clearly not interested in dating me. There have been a COUPLE who seemed to be what I was looking for, but they were either too far away or just didn't panout.

I'm about bored with online dating myself.

Kellydancer
05-23-2011, 02:18 PM
Ha! your whole story sounds like mine while online dating. I get many messages, but most are fools, weirdos, not physically attractive to me, too old, have too many children or just want sex. When I try to message the ones I like first, I rarely ever get a response back and if I do they're just being polite and are clearly not interested in dating me. There have been a COUPLE who seemed to be what I was looking for, but they were either too far away or just didn't panout.

I'm about bored with online dating myself.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one because sometimes I feel this way. I am attractive as I'm sure you are, and we should have our share but not happening that way. People often tell me to lower my standards and I will lookwise to some extent but some things I can't change. I don't want an obese man or a dad and those can't change. I think I'm going to try another site and if that doesn't work I will join more activities.

Kellydancer
05-23-2011, 04:10 PM
Billabong and Kelly, don't take it too personally, because maybe they're just dating other people but their memberships hadn't expired at that point or something like that and are not actively looking. Don't let it discourage you! By the way, what site lets you know when someone deletes your message? I definitely wouldn't want people know that about me, although most of the time I just read it and don't reply if I'm not interested and don't bother to delete.

It was Plenty of Fish that shows you if they deleted or not. You do have a point and that could be the guys who rejected me were dating someone else.

My mother keeps suggesting I try the Catholic dating sites because these guys seem to be more marriage minded. Several of the guys state they want marriage and a family and while a few are probably con artists the majority are likely real.

Billabong
05-23-2011, 05:14 PM
Billabong and Kelly, don't take it too personally, because maybe they're just dating other people but their memberships hadn't expired at that point or something like that and are not actively looking. Don't let it discourage you! By the way, what site lets you know when someone deletes your message? I definitely wouldn't want people know that about me, although most of the time I just read it and don't reply if I'm not interested and don't bother to delete.

It was on OkCupid and their statuses were set to single so it's probably safe to assume they were available, but eh I don't take it personally. The way I look at it is we all have types. You could put Beyonce and Katy Perry infront of a group of men and ask them which one they chose. There will be some who pick Beyonce, but that doesn't mean there's something wrong with Katy and no other man in the room will pick her.

It sucks when I'm into the guy, but maybe something about me isn't their type.

DottieMay
05-24-2011, 09:29 AM
I've been running into the craziest thing ever lately. I meet some guys, they seem cool. Everything goes well. Then I find out they are crossdressers or into trannys! WTF! Do I have some kind of sign on my head!?!? Not like I'm a hater but my ex was secretly into that stuff and I really wanted to break away from it. Just not my thing. I just want a hunk of a man who doesn't like to suck dick or steal my clothing. If I find him, I swear I will change my ways lol.

Kellydancer
05-24-2011, 11:15 AM
That is strange DottieMay. I've never run into that but I did have a friend who was into having sex with trannies (I didn't meet him online, met him through a jr high friend).

Strangely, this article ran in today's paper about a woman having the same problem doing online.

Why is it so hard to find someone?
BY CHERYL LAVIN [email protected] May 24, 2011 02:10AM

Natasha is a single mom, divorced for four years, who’s looking for a man. Her expectations aren’t unrealistic, but she’s having a difficult time finding him.

“I’ve been on dating sites, but I’ve only had a handful of dates. I don’t lie on my profile, but I’ve met men who say they’re looking for a ‘long-term relationship’ when really what they are looking for is a quickie. And I’ve learned that ‘laid-back’ means ‘lazy.’

“All my photos are recent, and I don’t feel the need to Photoshop my wrinkles. I don’t have any wrinkles to Photoshop. But I’ve seen men who post pictures that look like they were ripped out of GQ.

“And then there are the men who are afraid to post their photos online. I’ll never be confused with a bikini-model, but if I’m not afraid to put my photo out there, I want to see whom I’m talking to. I work hard to look presentable and work out regularly. I expect a man to do the same. I want a man who cares about his appearance.

“I’m not looking for a free meal. I’ve often offered to pay for a drink or a meal. But that can be tricky. Men sometimes feel it’s an insult to their manhood. And I have no problem with reciprocating. If a man buys on the first date, I will gladly buy the next time around, or at least offer.

“I can hold up my end of an intelligent conversation on a variety of topics, even sports. I want a man who can hold an intelligent conversation and isn’t afraid to take an interest in the things that interest me.

“By the way, I run a background check on the people I meet for obvious reasons. As the single parent of a daughter, I don’t want to get hooked up with some psycho-rapist, child molester or wife-beater. They’re out there, and they’re online.

“I check public court records and rule out anyone who may have a consistent history of financial issues. No one is perfect, but I don’t want to get involved with someone who may be looking for me to bail them out of their financial woes, either.

“I don’t lie about my age, but many of the men online do. A guy who says he’s 40-something shouldn’t look like he’s 70. And why would an unemployed guy with umpteen kids with several women, none of whom he married, think I would want to go out with him?

“Here’s the thing — I’m a great woman with lots to offer. I’m educated, a good mom, I work hard to provide a good life for my child. I’m active in my community and church. I don’t smoke or do drugs and only drink conservatively in social settings. I don’t expect to find a soulmate because I’m not sure there is one, but I would love to find someone to see regularly, have fun with, go places with or maybe just stay home, watch a movie or talk to.

“My expectations aren’t that high — just a responsible guy who can hold up his end of the conversation, support himself, doesn’t mind kids or pets, hasn’t been in prison, doesn’t do drugs, can manage his own finances and takes enough pride in himself to have good hygiene.”

Is that too much to ask?

I think what she is asking for is realistic. I had to laugh when she mentioned all the never married dads who contacted her because I had a problem with that. I would never consider a never married dad unless they were kids he adopted as a single dad. I think her problem is because she has a kid. I've heard it's harder for women with kids to find partners than men with kids. I suspect part of the reason is most men don't want to support another man's kid which is reasonable. However, many women have no qualms about dating dads even though there is drama and I suspect it's because many women are desperate to be with any guy.

AngelCummings
05-24-2011, 11:53 AM
I've been running into the craziest thing ever lately. I meet some guys, they seem cool. Everything goes well. Then I find out they are crossdressers or into trannys! WTF! Do I have some kind of sign on my head!?!? Not like I'm a hater but my ex was secretly into that stuff and I really wanted to break away from it. Just not my thing. I just want a hunk of a man who doesn't like to suck dick or steal my clothing. If I find him, I swear I will change my ways lol.

oh my.... i think it's storytime! *goes to grab some popcorn*

this oughtta be good LOL

DottieMay
05-24-2011, 12:23 PM
Seriously, I went out with a guy. Nice looking, a marine. We gots it on :) But I noticed he shaved his whole body? Then the next day he tells me he is a cd and sends me all these pictures of him in drag. Then wants to have a whole cd 3 some with me. Then just tells me some bs and never talks to me again. So I've been talking to this other guy and he is sexy as hell. And we've hung out and we've been talking about having sex, then last night he tells me he was watching a tranny porno and wants to get with a tranny and me be with one too. I'm like wtf. This is a curse.

Kellydancer
05-24-2011, 12:30 PM
That is weird. Someone I know always says you always attract the ones you (you in general) don't want. For instance I love never married childless nerds. I don't date fat men and dads. Guess who I attract? Fat dads! Guess who seems to reject me online? never married childless nerds.

DottieMay
05-24-2011, 12:36 PM
Hmmm, maybe we should start loving the ones we hate, so we can find someone we actually like.

Kellydancer
05-24-2011, 01:08 PM
Hmmm, maybe we should start loving the ones we hate, so we can find someone we actually like.

I have a bad feeling what will happen is I'll meet a fat guy (still not bending on dads)who will fall in love with me but I won't have feelings. However because I want to get married I'll marry him, have a kid or two and be miserable. Then I'll either get divorced or cheat on him because I hate him.

DottieMay
05-24-2011, 01:18 PM
lol noo! Don't bend for the fatties, you will find your childless, nerdy prince.

Kellydancer
05-24-2011, 01:37 PM
lol noo! Don't bend for the fatties, you will find your childless, nerdy prince.

Yes I will and you'll find what you want too. I will admit though it is frustrating wading through these guys who contact me and not what I want.