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Benefit
11-27-2012, 05:43 PM
I know my bf doesn't mind but I was curious what he really thinks about it so I asked him if it made him jealous. Him: No, it just turns me on.

My bf is very supportive. If I don't feel like working he'll say "then you should take a night off." At the same time, he is cool with me working for as long as I need to.

Jolie_Duval
12-01-2012, 01:07 PM
Hey guys!

I've been camming for about a year now and i started off at F4F and now im on SM. When I was on F4F last year i was in a relationship and basically kept it a secret from him. A few months after we broke up I was dating this girl and (since it was getting serious) I decided to be up front with her 100% about cam. I felt so bad keeping it from my ex that it really pushed me to adopt the take-it-or-leave-it-attitude. She was really cool about it initially and even bought me a toy to play with while i broadcast..seems really nice right?

WELL... about a year or so into the relationship she started to openly discuss being insecure because of cam. she feels a way that i'm "way more kinky" with my regulars than i am with her.. (i never let her see me work). its not like im not open to doing things with her sexually its just that i have a higher sex drive than her. its like she wants to COMPETE with cam in a way n its annoying as fuck! AND every time we argue it has something to do with some sort of insecurity due to the fact that i cam.. now i TOTALLY regret telling her... -_____- in this case, being honest bit me in the ass!

do u guys have any similar stories? advice?

BlkSharpie
12-01-2012, 01:39 PM
Well, if someone is my *spouse* then of course...if thats not a serious relationship, I dont know what is :D

I think you meant though if you would tell someone youre dating? In that case, only if things were at a point where I felt like things were getting serious. Lots and lots and lots of discussions and advice and personal stories about this already... About your personal situation though, it sounds to me more like her own insecurities and issues, than what you do. You two have been together a long while now, and its really cruel and below the belt to suddenly have an issue with something you were upfront with and she knew about and was fine with all along. Shes just being twisted.

My ex was fine with it, I told him 3 months in, and for years things were fine, he knew what I did, he would always say how proud he was of me that I was able to do something like this and make money and spend time with my daughter instead of working 3 jobs and never see her... Then one day out of the blue when I mentioned something about work he got pissy and said he doesnt want to hear about it, then flipped out on me and said its embarressing that i do this and what if his friends are checking me out on cam. I was floored....went from weepy "I cant beleive thats how you think" to angry "fuck you asshole, youre not paying my bills" :D

Turns out, it wasnt me, or even my job...he was fucking around on me and was using whatever he could as leverage to start an argument and be a jerk. After we broke up, I was still angry for him for what he said, and really laid it on him that was a low blow....he admitted that he was just trying to use whatever to make himself feel better for wronging me, but that yeah, I didnt deserve that. And as a matter of fact did try to pay my bills for awhile there lol and has tried to do peace offerings, letting me use his place to work out of since he knows I dont have as much privacy and cant cam if kiddo is home. its been 3yrs now, and hes still trying to make up for it, always asking how work is and telling me how proud he is of me and reminding me I can use his place whenever I need to.

So yeah, considering she was fine with it for so long, Im guessing its not the job itself, its something within her...not saying shes cheating, just that its not your job...shes just using it as leverage to what is actually a bigger picture you cant see yet.

Jolie_Duval
12-01-2012, 02:30 PM
yea! i totally see what you mean! its just really annoying when you try to be honest and then your bf/gf uses it as ammunition whenever theres an arguement.. GRRRR!>:(


this is something shes gonna have to get used to if she wants to stay in my life... ESPECIALLY since she wants to move in together in the near future... i dunno how that would work out lol

temptingmodel
12-01-2012, 02:53 PM
i tell someone the first day. Their reaction will get the second date or a rope to hang themselves w dumb comments

ManyRoses
12-01-2012, 03:03 PM
Tempting - you read my mind!! The way I see it, my time is precious, and I'm not going to waste any building up a relationship only to find out somewhere down the line that it is an absolute deal-breaker for them. And for many people, it is, and that is fine.

Of course, there are a couple caveats to my perspective - first, I tell EVERYONE what I do. Obviously, if I was hiding it from friends/family/employer/whoever, it might be a different scenario, because you don't want to trust a stranger with information that you are trying to keep a secret - you never know who might turn out to be a crazy person and out you because you decided to stop seeing them! I can't really comment on telling a partner when you don't tell anyone else in your life, or only a few people, because I just don't know what that is like. Frankly, I'm kinda lazy, and the idea of keeping secrets and making up stories to tell people how I make money just seems like a lot of extra work! But I am well aware that I am the exception, not the rule, and that most people don't tell all and sundry.

It would also depend on how much camming you do and how long you intend to do it. If it is your primary or only job, and you intend it to be a long-term career, I think it is far more important to tell your partner. If it is something that you did once or twice for fun, or did for fun money for a while and intend to stop soon...less of a big deal.

But those points aside, I really feel like I'm not going to hide something that is fairly major to my life (it IS how I spend most of my time!) and that could be a deal breaker for someone.

ManyRoses
12-01-2012, 03:06 PM
Oh, and as for the issues with arguments, jealousy, etc - usually I find that this stems from a lack of understanding of what camming really is.

If your GF is upset because she thinks that you are "kinkier" or "having more fun" on cam then with her....maybe just explain that while it is a sexual experience for your customers, it is just WORK for you. I don't know any camgirls that are actually getting off every single show! In fact, a lot of camgirls very rarely actually get off on cam. I'm definitely "kinkier" on cam....but not in that I am enjoying and getting off on every fetish show I do! Christ, I would be a little appalled if my partner started suggesting some of the fetishes that I work with, because they actually turn me OFF. I'm just a good actress...

Jaana
12-01-2012, 03:09 PM
In my eyes, if you've not told them by the third date, you're being a bad person.
This is a HUGE thing for a lot of guys, and it should be a huge thing for you as well.
i eas seeing a guy once. he seemed great. We'd be on about a dozen dates, i'd met his mom, etc. Then one day he finally told me that he legally can't be around children because he "accidentally" beat his ex's son.

I never spoke to him again. it wasn't just because he had a violent history, but because he kept something SO HUGE from me. I put camming on the same level of huge - and not in a negative way. just in a "Wow, this could possibly change how i feel about you" way, because, let's face it - not every guy is open to this stuff, and once he knows it could completely change how he looks at you.

It makes me angry when i hear about cam girls not being upfront about being a cam girl to guys. it further feeds into every single negative stereotype that exists about women in our industry and i can't stand it. I used to tell guys on first dates. if he couldn't handle it, i knew up front before either of us were emotionally attached to anything. Why? BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE TO HURT PEOPLE, and I'm realistic.

Incantatious
12-01-2012, 04:00 PM
Not only would it (in my eyes) NOT be a serious relationship at all if things as major as this are being kept from the other partner, but it would also be an extremely difficult thing to conceal in a long-term relationship in the first place.

Having said that, I understand how you feel - it's horrible feeling we, and what we do are so stigmatized. BUT! Not everyone takes badly to what we do. :)

BlkSharpie
12-01-2012, 04:01 PM
I wouldnt go so far, the third date, I dont even know a guys favorite colour by then LoL

But, Im generally a private person anyway, I dont give people my whole life story right off the bat, romantic interest or not, by the third date Im still trying to suss out whether or not Im interested in him. I dont move fast in relationships and dont want or expect to have everything immediately... It really just depends on the person. LIke, to *you* youd feel like a bad person if you dont give full disclosure as soon as you meet someone, and expect that from them too, but thats not universal. To *me* if a guy told me his whole life story right off the bat or expected me to tell him every major thing about me immediately, that would creep me out.

The key is finding someone on your level who moves at the same pace/ has the same feelings towards disclosure as you do.

Benefit
12-01-2012, 04:16 PM
I can't say, because I'm in a relationship, and my partner knew from day 1 ... we dated before I got into camming.

In my opinion, I don't think it's necessary to tell a guy on a first, second, third, or fourth date. Surely, he's not going to tell you everything about him by then. How do you know you can trust a guy after going out with him just a few times? You can't. Many of us aren't out in the open about our job, and I wouldn't be talking about it to some random Joe I went out with a couple times.

simone87
12-01-2012, 04:20 PM
i wouldn't tell somebody the FIRST time i met them (unless they asked, then i couldn't lie i guess) but i would't get into a serious relationship without telling them. they deserve to know.
i do cam shows with my boyfriend he loves it..would she want to do that, so she feels more included?

BlkSharpie
12-01-2012, 04:42 PM
Yeah I agree, when things get serious, then they should def know, before things get any further. Its not fair to keep something going, and hold that back. But from the get go...nah. Besides, like an example with the child beater earlier, thats a whole other thing. I mean, being a cam girl is not anywhere near the same level as someone who is violent and is court ordered to not be around kids. I dont see the correlation I have to say.

This is just a job, and theres nothing wrong with it as a job, but society as a whole does not look at it that way, and so Id rather get to know someone to the point where I feel I can trust them with that info, than just arbitrarily tell every guy I have a date with Im in the industry. And if a guy got all upset cause I didnt tell him sooner, instead of take it for what it is, that I felt close enough to him to share that info with him, then Id be done with that. I have too much shit about myself to sit there on the third date and give them a run down of everything they might think is a deal breaker about myself...not to mention it would have to be a very long date :D

When I told my ex, we were together for 3 months, and he totally understood why I was cautious about telling him, but then also said he appreciated that I trusted him enough to tell him. If he got all whiney cause I didnt tell him on our third date or any sooner than I was ready to, he wouldnt be my ex, hed be some guy I went on a couple dates with..I likely woudnt even remember his name by now lol

athenalovelace
12-02-2012, 06:40 PM
Eep I misread that when I voted. When things start getting serious, yes and absolutely is marriage is in the future.

Sasha Blackwolf
12-02-2012, 07:16 PM
I have been working cam for over 2 years. I can tell you. I am done telling anyone what i do for a living. It seems people just all think i am a porn star and fuck people for money. Most men are majorly insecure. Esp if you are a very pretty intelligent girl who makes more money than they do. My goal is to not date for the next year. Save as much money as possible and open a business for myself outside of cam. This way i can stop doing cam and have a secure job and life. Best of luck to you. Much love.

CamBish
12-02-2012, 11:59 PM
I normally wait til whenever I'm ready to tell or don't tell at all. It really depends on the relationship. If it's not serious (even after a month or two of dating) I probably won't mention it. Believe me, I've had almost all my ex's who knew what I did try to use it as ammo when things didn't work out. I've gone from the most beautiful, loving, precious girlfriend in the world to you aint gonna be nothing but a whore. This isn't just with dating relationships either, friends and family as well. It's like they don't care as much when everything is going good, but the minute there's any turmoil they're hellbent in trying to expose you or show everyone you know what a slut you are. Sometimes I'll mention vaguely what I do (internet model) but definitely don't give out my camming name or any links. Kind of sucks to live this way actually, but that's the price we pay! I admire girls who are able to be more open in their personal lives about what they do.

GlamourRouge
12-03-2012, 12:43 AM
My goal is to not date for the next year. Save as much money as possible and open a business for myself outside of cam.

Smart girl. Dating is dumb honestly. All I do is think "ugh I wanna go home, this person, ugh" or I really like the person and then stress about where its going & it affects my time working.

Jolie_Duval
12-03-2012, 01:51 AM
She's too shy to wanna do a couples show so that's out the window lol

Sexy Shana
12-03-2012, 09:40 AM
I began camming while in a long term relationship. We discussed it first, said he didn't mind. He was only concerned that I wouldn't have anything left for him. In reality, how do U hide camming from a guy (or girl) U live with?
Since I have a day job, camming is more fun when everything doesn't depend on it.
He would never cam as he says he has "performance anxiety" I would just luv to do couple shows with him.

SweetPinkCupcake
12-03-2012, 10:04 AM
I have been working cam for over 2 years. I can tell you. I am done telling anyone what i do for a living. It seems people just all think i am a porn star and fuck people for money. Most men are majorly insecure. Esp if you are a very pretty intelligent girl who makes more money than they do. My goal is to not date for the next year. Save as much money as possible and open a business for myself outside of cam. This way i can stop doing cam and have a secure job and life. Best of luck to you. Much love.

I very much agree with you and GlamourRouge. I was recently struggling with this issue big time. I thought I was falling for a guy and was sooo up in the air about whether or not I should tell him. I'm glad I didn't because he ended up being a douchebag anyway. BUT in all of my experiences of telling a guy that I cam or him knowing about it. . I basically just turned into the Bank of America, a free fuck that came with the ego boost of being with a 'porn star', or a piece of dripping red meat. I don't even dress in designer clothes, or have a huge fancy house with expensive gadgets, or drive shiny new cars. I like to be 'low key' not only for the fact that I rather save my money, but people treat you differently if they assume you have all of this cash to blow. Guys automatically assume when you are in the sex industry that you are loaded. . and then come the sob stories and money problem woes from everyone...

Then there's ALWAYS the fight that leads to the words. . . "At least I'm not a slut on the internet that takes off my clothes for money!".

Your mileage may vary, and many lead different lifestyles. I find that I seem to be attracted to the more straight-laced guys. I have different values in a relationship and I want to be courted, but independent enough that I can live my OWN life and my OWN money without somebody trying to take it away or throwing it in my face. I just came to the conclusion that I rather save up all the money I can while this industry is still lucrative and then invest in the next cash cow. I have no plans of securing a relationship or dating while I'm in this industry any longer. Oh. . and by the way. . a man is NOT a man if he fucks you at night and then asks you for money during the day!!!

"Most men are majorly insecure. Esp if you are a very pretty intelligent girl who makes more money than they do"
^^WORD on that to the EXTREME. Guys are VERY insecure if you are a pretty intelligent girl who makes more money than they do. . .

kortneykay
12-03-2012, 08:02 PM
I chose "no" in the survey based on the situation I'm in now. I will be starting up camming again, and I happen to be in an unhappy marriage. I do not plan on telling him at all for many reasons. My plan is to cam in secret, and save until I can leave on my own.

Firstly, in fights I'm occasionally reminded with the "slut" insult. I told him that I previously cammed, sold panties, and was a sugar baby before I we met and I greatly regret the decision to do so. This he used (and occasionally continues to do so)throws back in my face. It's not a fun feeling to be belittled by someone who supposedly loves you based on your previous work. And the worst part of it all is that I came into the relationship with a clean slate. However, it was my fault for pursuing a "man" who tried breaking up with me at first because of all of those things. If he can't handle what you do/did, he isn't worth your time. A real man will either accept you for you, or accept you for who you were, and are trying to become.

Secondly, he's given me "permission" off and on again to be a phone sex operator and has retracted his decision several times. His ego is constantly bruised and he's even blamed my "sex work" on his own insecurities and addictions. My job as a PSO has also been exposed to his Chain of Command in his military career, by him. It's humiliating to be judged secretly by government officials when my own husband was okay with me doing it, and I wasn't there to defend myself. All of this has caused me to be very cautious when it comes to trusting those near and dear to me with what I do. However, if it did get out, I would be okay because my family and others aren't paying my bills, I'm grown. And though my husband is paying my bills, it doesn't mean he has the rights to be possessive over me and to treat me just any kind of way. My self worth is a lot more important than his attitude, judgment, ego, and verbal and emotional abuse.

That being said, If I were to date again after the divorce, I probably will wait before disclosing, or, I won't say much at all. There's a popular saying, "Those who matter shouldn't mind, and those who mind shouldn't matter." Because I too am an entrepreneur, I plan on getting out of the camming business after I've saved up enough money to grow my own businesses. I run my own independent phone sex company that I plan to expand and be a "silent investor" and I also own a domestic housekeeping service. Because I have the housekeeping service, it's easy for me to use that as my "job" when asked.

Eventually I'd like to try my hand at starting my own clothing line, building it into a brand and investing in different projects. I am a budding serial entrepreneur and I don't plan on letting anyone's opinion of me, or my past/current work/choices effect me being successful. And I plan on doing this with, or without a man. I'm still young, but I'm learning that you only live once in this lifetime. Too many of us get stuck, or fail to be who we are destined to be because of what other people think. I understand that family is important, and a future is as well. I know that this line of work is risky because so many of us still have a lot to possibly lose (relationships, future employment). However, at the end of the day you have to decide what is best for you. This too shall all pass. You with either look back with regret, or look back knowing that you gave no fuqs and lived your life according to you at that point and time in your life.

With all that being said (sorry about the long post)I don't plan on being in a relationship for years to come. I prefer to better myself, and seek self growth. By the time I am ready, I will be done with camming, and don't plan on telling my future S.O. If it does get out I'll cross that bridge when I get there. But I will probably stand my ground and tell him he can accept- or step, because like the man I'm with now, he wasn't there, he didn't know me, didn't pay my bills, and can go kick rocks. Apparently the guy I'm with now "accepted" it because he's still trying to stay wifed up.

BlkSharpie
12-03-2012, 08:23 PM
I think the thing to keep in mind, is that anyone who has any amount of respect for you is not going to talk to you that way. If it wasnt cam, it would be something else. Some women, their man will call them a slut if another guy they have no control over happens to look her way. Some men are just assholes, and yeah, being in the adult industry is an easy target for a guy like that to blow off his steam on, but I just really believe it takes an insecure, petty and manipulative guy to treat someone they care about that way. With or without cam as a scapegoat, they would be like that regardless.

I would not want to be in a committed relationship with someone who I would have to hide this from cause Im afraid they would treat me like shit for it. If I felt I was with a guy who would react that way to the point I would not ever tell him then it wouldnt go any further than a fling or casual thing, but I would not be able to take a guy like that seriously.

ManyRoses
12-03-2012, 09:27 PM
^^^^This! So much of this!!!

The idea of hiding it for a while until you can trust someone - that I can understand completely, even if it is not how I would do it. But hiding your job indefinitely, because you are afraid of how he will treat you - well that is a giant red flag if ever I've seen one!

I do not want to be in a relationship where someone will "throw things in my face" when we argue. Especially this. Because if someone says that they are "fine with" "ok with" "accepting of" your job, and then uses it as some kind of petty little weapon in an argument, then it is clear to me that they are NOT, in fact, "ok with it" at all. Think about it - you would never "throw it in your partners face" that they go to the pub every weekend with their friends unless you actually have a problem with them going to the pub with their friends. So if a guy starts using this kind of work in an argument, and then claiming that they are actually fine with it, and just wanted to be mean....well, either they are lying to you, or they are so emotionally immature that they are lying to themselves. Either way - not what you want.

I guess that I simply refuse to settle. I will absolutely work on a relationship, but I will not accept anything less than someone who will be completely and honestly supportive of what I do and who I am. I would rather be alone than hiding my work from someone because I am afraid that they would think less of me for it. I would rather be a crazy cat lady than in a relationship with a man who had a low opinion of not just me, or my job, but of women like me! I care deeply about the future of the industry and the perspective that society has on sex workers, and the idea of dating someone who had a problem with it would just be so opposite to what I want, and the kind of person I would want to be with. It would be like dating a homophobe, or a religious fanatic - I simply couldn't respect or accept them into my life.

maryjaynexo
12-03-2012, 11:39 PM
When I started camming, I just had a talk with my boyfriend of 5 years when I was considering it. He actually bought my new webcam, haha. I never considered hiding it because to me, keeping it a secret constantly and feeling guilty is way more hassle to me than just talking about it.

When I first started, he was a bit apprehensive, (especially when I bought a bunch of neon coloured sex toys) but once he learned what it was about he just realized it was like any other job. I picked the 'couples show' option because we actually tried them for a little while. We only did a few hours on cam, but he eventually decided it wasn't for him. Right now I'm trying to pay him to help me with some promotion work :)

As a little side-note: I think my sex work has opened up many possibilities sexually for my boyfriend. He knows a lot more about fetish than he used to, and we're always filming and trying new things!

BlkSharpie
12-04-2012, 02:09 AM
Im already a crazy cat lady... and I dont even have any cats. :D *sigh*

CurvyWinona
12-04-2012, 07:52 AM
I am married for only little more than a year and my husband is like 200 percent support to my camming. He even plays a bit of boss for me (at my request) so I can get some encourage and to stick to schedule because I really suck at it. He respects my camming work and does not feel any threat at all. He sees camming just for the income and there is no actual touching or any of that. Anyway, He realized that I needed a new cam to improve $$ and he bought it for me. Also, a HDD to store my c4s clips. So, he is happy with my choice if it makes me happy. :) I enjoy sharing the WTF cam moments and C4S requests with him. lol. He even considers to join or be my cameraman for c4s later.

ManyRoses
12-04-2012, 11:09 AM
Im already a crazy cat lady... and I dont even have any cats. :D *sigh*

I'm just a crazy pet lady....cat and dog...currently lobbying for a pair of leopard geckos for the cam room (so the cat and dog won't eat them!) and another kitten when the dog is full grown...if it wasn't for the boyfriend, I would have so many more animals. And that is kinds the crazy cat lady point, right....sheesh! LOL

goddessc
01-05-2013, 01:45 PM
Hi ladies,

I make clips and sell them on clips4sale. Over the past year my store has really taken off. I have always been a very sexual person so making clips is a nice outlet to use for that, and my life has changed so much for the better since being on clips4sale. But I just started dating someone and I don't plan on telling them what I do. Part of it is because my clips are kind of a weird fetish. And although I think I'm fabulous, he might think lesser of me for making money by doing naughty clips?
Has anyone ever gone through this? Is it okay not to tell?

simone87
01-05-2013, 02:06 PM
there's a lot of different opinions on this, but i think if you are in a relationship with somebody, you should tell them. what if they found out that you haven't been truthful..i know i'd be pissed if my SO kept something he did as a job from me. casually tell them, don't make a big deal..and if he flips and wants to break up with you, the sooner you know the better that this isn't the right man for you right now.

aven
01-05-2013, 03:50 PM
I just told the guy that I am seen what I do for a living.... and I asked him how he felt about it and said that was not his place to say one way or the other... which won him mad points because it show that he respects me and does not care how I make my living....

I for one could not keep camming a secret it would be too hard for me and I would not want to be with a man that would judge me for it.

Nocturnelle
01-05-2013, 03:57 PM
Told my boyfriend and now we're going to start doing couple shows. He may surprise you.

Classy_Katy
01-05-2013, 03:59 PM
It can be a good filter...would you want a guy who thought less of you for doing it? If I found a guy who judged me and was a prude, I'd lose interest in him. If he saw the site before you told him so that he had an idea what it is all about first, that might be best.

Elizabeth2013
01-05-2013, 04:03 PM
I dont tell people I date. I only tell people ....if i was in a long relationship with them. The reason being is I was honest and upfront and then the person went and told everyone i knew then harassed me online. I am just very very careful who i tell what now a days.
Good luck to you I hope it all works out.

maryjaynexo
01-05-2013, 05:32 PM
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years now, and he is fine with it. I think that keeping a secret (at least in my opinion) is worse than owning up to what you do. If it were me, I would be upset if my significant other was hiding something, not that they did porn for a living. But only you know him so you know best how he will react. You might feel much more comfortable if you tell him, but it's really your business what you do.

Rina
01-05-2013, 05:34 PM
I realize I am bit older than most here (almost 40) I have been in and out of the industry for awhile. I tell people from the door, because honestly if they have a problem with it, they have a problem with it and that is something I feel most people need to know from the gate.

SarahTime
01-05-2013, 07:45 PM
But I just started dating someone

If you JUST started dating him, no I would not tell him, YET. I would wait a little while and see how things pan out, you never know this could be a 2 week relationship! Then what if he outs you to all your friends? You will regret you told him.

Honestly, wait it out until you have a better feel for the relationship. When enough time has gone by and you do tell him, you can explain that you didn't tell him before because it's a big secret of yours and you were waiting to see how things went, and if he gets mad about not telling him sooner or about the fact that you are even in the adult industry, then he's probably not right for you anyway.

Good luck!

AriaLove
01-05-2013, 08:26 PM
I have a live in boyfriend (my baby daddy) and he kind of knows. I had mentioned a friend does it, then I had left him for a while and that's when I started camming. Eventually I moved back in for my daughter and I still have an internet bill to pay and whatnot, so I've continued camming. I don't cam while he's home, but he makes jokes about it as if he's questioning me, but I try to laugh it off. He wasn't cool with me being a stripper, so I don't know how he'd feel about this, but c'est la vie. I got bills to pay now!

MiraMichele
01-05-2013, 08:52 PM
Yes. I met my boyfriend while I was still stripping and we met in the club I was working at, I got more and more burnt out on stripping and started talking to him about what he thought of me doing webcam. He loved the idea and we even do couple shows occasionally. I also agree with Simone87, I think you should just be upfront about it, more than likely if your relationship becomes really serious, it will come out sometime in the future, imagine what kind of problems and trust issues that could bring up then :shrug:

kitty101
01-05-2013, 11:18 PM
When I had one he did...he turned out to be abusive so I'm no longer with him...he claimed to be A ok with it but in reality that was not really the case and he was often very jealous...however, I would never lie to someone I was in a relationship with about my job...actually I tell any guy I don't care, lol

GlamourRouge
01-06-2013, 01:54 AM
I tell people upfront because it weeds out the idiots. I would neeeeeeeeever want to date someone who wasn't okay with what I do. And I would never want to put time & effort into dating a guy that might not be okay with it. Wouldn't that really fuck with your emotions- if you dated him for awhile and he like stopped talking to you over it? That would be setting yourself up for heartache and preventable pain. That being said, I would not tell them my stage name or sites/companies I work for until we were exclusive probably.

Blovely
01-06-2013, 02:10 AM
I wouldn't tell someone that I was just dating. I'd only tell someone if things got serious.

Billabong
01-06-2013, 06:51 AM
I don't tell guys I'm dating anymore. Each time I have they stopped taking me seriously and either stopped seeing me or treated me like a sex object so I stopped seeing them.

I reserve that information for when things get serious. When they ask before then I don't LIE I just say "I'm self employed and free lance myself around. Web design, graphic design, voice acting, video production .. really anything to make a paycheck"

Which is true. I design my own sites, I do phone sex, I produce videos and will do just about anything for a paycheck :-P

Marina Starr
01-06-2013, 07:13 AM
What boyfriend?! I'm immune to that disease!

LacieDiamond
01-06-2013, 07:31 AM
Great thread!

My boyfriend Likes and dislikes my camming! I'm still learning about camming, so Up until recently, the reasons for me being sore down below after a cam show or two was unknown to me. I was using a toy that irritated me. I got to the point where having fun with my boyfriend hurt me because of the days works i had done. That really pissed him off, but I'm working on fixing that :D But other then that, my boyfriend is sooooo supportive. He even does videos with me to sell. He types to my clients when im not at the computer. He helps me with techy issues i dont understand. He helps in any way he can and im lucky for that!

Id say if you got a man and he doesnt know, tell him. If he doesnt understand, then is he really that great? Not only is it amazing money, but you arent out working at Mcdonalds!

Classy_Katy
01-06-2013, 07:42 AM
If your job:

Makes him feel insecure - he has baggage he needs to unload before he can have a balanced relationship with you

Makes him think you must be a slut and likely to sleep around - he has outdated thinking and needs to wise up before he can have a balanced relationship with you

If he tells you he's fine with it but really isn't, you will see a controlling and manipulation emerge...trying to take away your confidence and finding ways to physically stop you doing it.

I'd show him the site first and see what his reaction is, and how he talks about the women on there. What he thinks of them will show what he will think of you.

JoJoX
01-06-2013, 07:47 AM
a. No it's not OK to lie to your partner, this is a huge lie and you will never be trusted.

b. You should not be seeing anyone who thinks less of you because of your job anyway.

Daisy_Lovex
01-06-2013, 08:26 AM
Honestly, I think it's best to tell him. I know and totally understand that it will be hard, but you just might be surprised with his response. It will be easier to tell him now than to wait. I'm sorry sweetheart, I wish I could be more helpful.

JoJoX
01-06-2013, 09:15 AM
Honestly, I think it's best to tell him. I know and totally understand that it will be hard, but you just might be surprised with his response. It will be easier to tell him now than to wait. I'm sorry sweetheart, I wish I could be more helpful.

I think this was pretty helpful, you are right. It's better to tell him now than to lie to him any longer.

Glamourmilf
01-06-2013, 09:33 AM
'NO WAY JOSE!!' I got ENOUGH judgement from ex- girlfriends, that I now I keep EVERYTHING to myself! Double standard thing and all I guess. Which is odd, since I don't have sex with anyone, on cam, or irl-,so i guess I could really just tell a guy I'm dating that I am a Born-again virgin! Feels like it to me- 2 years and counting since i've had real life sex- it was so unsatisfying, that all i really want is to have a companion, and not someone pawing at me, especially after camming all week.
But, don't go by me-i'm a 'SERIOUS FLIRT', and that's why I'm drama-and disease free!' it just works the best me.
Good luck, though-do post again with a happy story about how You now have a great boyfriend who accepts you camming, and that he still pays when you go out.
it would be encouraging to hear.

JustineSexton
01-06-2013, 10:50 AM
Well, it's a subject that has to be tackled at some point. I have the same method every time when I first date a guy (yes, first date conversations) that tests the waters without outing myself.

I bring up a fictitious story about a friend of mine who cams for a living while her husband is in the next room--and I give him lots of details. And based on his reaction, I know whether or not we'll work out. Thus far, on around a dozen attempts, every single one of them were criticizing the made-up husband for being a "douche" for allowing his woman to do that... and almost all of them said that my friend must be a real slut.

So... without wasting anytime on them, we finish up the date, and that's the end of the relationship. I'd rather know in the beginning than to actually fall in love with the guy just to realize later on that we are destined to fail. Besides, I'm a free spirit and a freak when it comes to sex anyway--I don't want a guy who's a prude in that department.

If a guy isn't 110% supportive of my career choice--and my biggest cheerleader for that matter--then he's not worth my time at all. I feel the same way in the friends department... I want friends who aren't judgmental, self-righteous assholes. I only want people around me who love me for who I am, and emotionally support me in everything I do. Life's too short to be around people who want to tear you down.