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CourtneyRaine
01-06-2013, 11:53 AM
^ I love the idea to test the waters with a make believe friend. I am the type that tells everyone, all my friends and family already know so it's not like I have to worry about a guy exposing me. Maybe if you live a super secret life that would be different.

For me it comes down to trust. Camming is not a big deal, but lying is. I find that whenever the truth about something finally comes out it makes the original thing seem sooooo much worse. Like, why would you go out of your way to hide it? It must be bad if you didn't want anyone to know? Even if it's innocent, the lack of full disclosure makes it seem like there is more to the story and its hard to build trust again when it's discovered you haven't been upfront.

Camming is not a big deal to me. It's a job and it pays the bills, nothing more and nothing less. By being upfront if a guy asks me what I do for a living it shows that it really isn't anything major or something to be ashamed of, and I think it shows guys that they don't have to be threatened by it. I have had guys treat me a little differently when they found out I cam. I've also met guys who genuinely do not care and think it's awesome that I get to work from home and work a job that gives me the free time to pursue my other professional interests.

When I met my last boyfriend I told him off the bat, and he said he was okay with it. Then when he moved in he got to be not so okay with it once he actually saw and heard me flirting with custies in free chat. It brought up a lot of jealousy issues for him but I understand and we were able to work past it. Eventually it got to the point where we did a few couples shows together. When we get into arguments he does sometimes throw my camming in my face but I think it's only because it's the first thing that comes to is mind to try to make me feel bad, and if I wasn't a cam model he'd be insulting me about something else.

JustineSexton
01-06-2013, 12:33 PM
^ I love the idea to test the waters with a make believe friend. I am the type that tells everyone, all my friends and family already know so it's not like I have to worry about a guy exposing me. Maybe if you live a super secret life that would be different.

For me it comes down to trust. Camming is not a big deal, but lying is. I find that whenever the truth about something finally comes out it makes the original thing seem sooooo much worse. Like, why would you go out of your way to hide it? It must be bad if you didn't want anyone to know? Even if it's innocent, the lack of full disclosure makes it seem like there is more to the story and its hard to build trust again when it's discovered you haven't been upfront.

Camming is not a big deal to me. It's a job and it pays the bills, nothing more and nothing less. By being upfront if a guy asks me what I do for a living it shows that it really isn't anything major or something to be ashamed of, and I think it shows guys that they don't have to be threatened by it. I have had guys treat me a little differently when they found out I cam. I've also met guys who genuinely do not care and think it's awesome that I get to work from home and work a job that gives me the free time to pursue my other professional interests.

When I met my last boyfriend I told him off the bat, and he said he was okay with it. Then when he moved in he got to be not so okay with it once he actually saw and heard me flirting with custies in free chat. It brought up a lot of jealousy issues for him but I understand and we were able to work past it. Eventually it got to the point where we did a few couples shows together. When we get into arguments he does sometimes throw my camming in my face but I think it's only because it's the first thing that comes to is mind to try to make me feel bad, and if I wasn't a cam model he'd be insulting me about something else.

I know what you mean, I'm not ashamed of my work either, and the few people I actually talk to in the real world already know. The best reason to make up the story with the guy is, most guys you date will automatically think, "wow, she's a slut... should be easy to get her clothes off" if I told them I was a cam girl on a date. But they are brutally honest when they think it's someone else...

Even if a guy is okay with it, I know from my experience, the vast majority get jealous. When I was still stripping, we used to always say that every guy wants to date a stripper until he is actually dating her....

It's the fantasy that the guys like, and the reality they can't handle. Not all guys of course, but being in the stripper/cam business for 6 years, it's been the case a majority of the time.

Snowy0Star
01-06-2013, 03:32 PM
Most of my freinds and family and boyfreind know (even tho im halfway across the country right now). It was easily for them to take the camming thing and a relief for everyone to know i wasnt escorting anymore some i told some just figured it out (my boyfreind among them). Only thing that might be difficult for him is the quick reality check hes gonna get when he realizes how much space camming takes up when i go there in the middle of next mont. He says he wants me to cam in the bedroom and im all like um honey all my lights and the backdrop stand my tripod actual space to walk around and shake it to make it $$$. Yeah no im taking the living room well tell frieinds im a photographer lol. (the place is a one bed bedroom apt)

VioletOctober
01-06-2013, 09:40 PM
My husband is fly awae and very supportiveof my camming carrer. Once I have my own site up and going.... he'll even shoot some super sexy content with me. ^.^

sassyStunna13
01-07-2013, 03:58 AM
I can online but tell my bf I just do a chat room type thing where I just talk n don't do anything...... But in reality I do way more than that haha he wouldn't dump me I he knew but he would always worry.

Glamourmilf
01-07-2013, 06:33 AM
Have You ever heard the saying-'What You are speaks so loudly,that I can't hear What You're Saying?'
It means that no matter how hard You try to hide that You do any form of sex work from someone, they always have a gut instinct about it.
When I used to dance, I was dating constantly, dressed down when I went anywhere, yet people just KNEW.
You get a particular SWAGGER in your walk, a certain 'look', and sexual cconfidence that 9-5 ers just don't have.
That's why I ALWAYS dress sexy, put my 'girls' (tatas) up and out,:boobies: and wear lots of 'bling' ,because I love the attention, it makes ME feel glamorous and good about myself- Besides, dressing down makes ME feel bad, and I feel people are really thinking-'what is she tying to hide?'
Hope that makes sense.:dazzled:
Best,
GLAM

Marina Starr
01-07-2013, 07:01 AM
I can totally relate and empathize with you on this because when I tell a guy that I'm a Transsexual woman, the majority of them see me nothing but a fetish, a sex object. It's like you just won the Porn Star award of the year. I believe in honesty but you gotta let the cream rise to the top and see who's truly worth it.


I don't tell guys I'm dating anymore. Each time I have they stopped taking me seriously and either stopped seeing me or treated me like a sex object so I stopped seeing them.

I reserve that information for when things get serious. When they ask before then I don't LIE I just say "I'm self employed and free lance myself around. Web design, graphic design, voice acting, video production .. really anything to make a paycheck"

Which is true. I design my own sites, I do phone sex, I produce videos and will do just about anything for a paycheck :-P

ExoticBeauty4U
01-07-2013, 08:12 AM
I told a guy I dated that I was doing this worst mistake of my life, and he pretended to be cool with it aat first nd then later threw it back in my face! Then my children's father found a clip of me on a free site (what are the odds?!) and initially he threw it in my face, called me all type of names etc eventually he got over and doesnt it discuss it anymore infact wants me back lol i digress.

Im kind of in the same similar situation as in Ive met a really great guy who wants to move me in he knows i do part time online work, but funny hes never asked what... It would honestly help me because i could save sooo much money not paying rent but then i would have to sneak and cam while hes not there, then lie about why i leave the house late at night 2 times a week. You ladies are lucky to have found such great men who support you but most guys you tell will look at you a certain way its the reality of it. Plus some people will accept stripping bc its known but not really camming bc they dont know much about it. When I was younger I would tell everyone that I danced blah blah and as I got older I stopped. I will say the men that Ive dated that i dont tell, with the exception of that one loser treat me so much better and respectful vs the ones who knew. I say wait especially if youre not around him all the time.

Incantatious
01-07-2013, 08:33 AM
My initial reaction to this was simply: If you don't tell the person closest to you about your job, it simply isn't a serious relationship.

To some extent, I certainly still do maintain that perspective. But after thinking about this for a while, if your work is something that you literally have to keep under wraps from certain people to prevent bad shit blowing up in your face, (e.g. the person you have told going around spreading horrible gossip about you), then damn straight keep it a secret until you feel you can trust that person.

And you generally can't really trust someone you've just met, feel attracted to, and been on a few dates with, right? So in that case it's surely understandable that you don't begin regaling then with tales about a job so very stigmatized as ours.

You're entitled to your privacy, especially if coming out about this could potentially result in any number of bad reactions from said person and it getting back to you. Looking out for yourself, your safety and your well-being is paramount - no matter what. The way society can perceive what we do can result in some seriously nasty (sometimes even dangerous) backlashes. No one needs that. And to the person who truly matters, in the end, they will understand all of this, and take that into account before just looking upon your need for secrecy as something more malicious than it actually is. - It isn't malicious, (usually, anyhow!) in most cases, it's simply looking out for yourself, your reputation and personal safety.

But to answer your question: Yup my partner knows.. If not for him, I actually doubt I'd be doing this at all, as he has encouraged me and supported me through my camming journey so, so much, from the very start.

zivlet
01-07-2013, 12:51 PM
I'm pretty much known as a stripper/camgirl by everybody who knows me and one of the first conversations people tend to get into is 'So, what do you do for a living then'? & I usually just say I'm a dancer, if they question further they get the honest truth. ...If I was in the dating game, I'd be straight upfront before we even properly met, and if I was to meet somebody who I ended up dating, they'd either know already , because most people know what I do, or they'd be told before any mention of romantic interest.
As others have said, it filters out the ones who are dead against it, immediately.
I live with my boyfriend, he knows and we talk about it a lot, what I do and I ask if anything makes him feel uncomfortable as I often cam when he's in the room. I know he's okay with me actually camming, but now and again I ask just in case he's changed his mind or any particular kind of talk is not okay.
My job is part of who I am, and even if somebody told me they'd support me financially, I wouldn't give it up because a)I like having my own money and b) If they wanted me to give up that part of me, they are not the sort of person I want to be dating.

MiaraRiley
01-16-2013, 04:14 AM
YUP. Mine actually got me into camming. Well...via Joe Rogan. But yeah.
Ask yourself...would you really want to be with someone who has a problem with what you do?

ScarletSage
01-16-2013, 04:40 AM
I started dating my current boyfriend six months ago, but we broke up after 2 months, that was where I started camming. But fortunately we get back together after 2 days : D And I told him immediately, he was even happy for me because he knows that working and making money makes me happy. He takes my photos and enjoys to listen my wierd stories about work. He is happy with my enthusiasim. And all these happend even though he is a very romantic and loving guy (even maybe because of this)
But if you don't know him well, I suggest you to wait untill you understand that he is not a jerk.

bigbootyjudy1
01-18-2013, 06:15 PM
Hell ya! i don't have time wasting on someone who has a problem with the way i make my money.I wanna say he knows.but he doesn't know exactly what some cam girls do.He just think i talk dirty to men online. Thats fine with me.When he put a ring on it then i will go into full details.

MissSassyPickles
01-18-2013, 06:55 PM
deleted

tlulu
01-19-2013, 03:59 PM
Well, I just told my ex today (we're getting back together soon) and he was completely fine with it. We had broken up because we needed to figure ourselves out (career / needed to break from old habits from previous relationships).

He spent two nights here and I did test the waters first, just to see what his reaction would be. I first started talking about how hot it would be to make a video together, maybe sell it on the internet and all that shizznit. Eventually I got the courage to tell him that I cammed and he was surprised, but his reaction wasn't bad. He was amazed at the amount of money that could be made from it, and I explained everything to him to the last detail. I figured, if we were to get back together officially, I didn't want to lie to him about it. Especially lie to him 3-4 nights a week telling him that "I'm tired" or that "I just want the night to myself" to cam. I'd rather tell him that I'm working and have him come over.

I made sure to let him know that it was just a job, that I never showed my face during privates (if I do any) or videos. Told him that I preferred not to do privates because I'd rather keep the intimate stuff with the guy that I'm dating (AKA him) which is true. Of course, I personally think that it would be fun to involve him when I make my videos / photos than struggling on my own, or getting other people to do it for me, and he was totally down.

Also, I made sure that he understood that it was just a job, that I had no attachment to the guys that are online and that I am not doing it out of desperation. He said to me: "Well, as long as you're not dating anyone else and consider this as a job, that's fine by me."

I think that it's best to tell the person if what you do is going to take up a lot of your time, thus making it a part of your life. Or else, you'll just end up making excuses and not feeling good about it. Also, it would be tough for me to date someone who's not supportive of me with that. That's my 2 cents.

tinydancer23
01-19-2013, 04:12 PM
yep, most of the people in my life know.

when i first started dating my husband i didn't tell him because i had heard him say some things that i construed as anti-sex worker, so i had mixed feelings about telling him. personally, i don't think i have to reveal this to someone i'm sleeping with unless i am doing prostitution or b/g porn (which i started doing about six months after we met) - because then it is their health that is concerned too. i don't think i owe anyone an explanation of what i do, but i prefer to be open about it because it's easier. after like 4 or 5 weeks, i told my husband and he was really supportive and understanding (and also clarified that he was not anti-sex work).

ManyRoses
01-19-2013, 04:17 PM
My bf knows, but, well, we live together. It would be pretty difficult to hide that, even if I wanted to!!!

For your situation, I think that it depends on a couple things:

1. Who in your life knows? If, like me, you tell all and sundry about your work, then why on earth WOULDN'T you tell him? I tell anyone who asks what I do, I just don't make a big deal out of it. Frankly, I find it makes it easier if you DON'T lie at first, because then it becomes a big deal to reveal the lie, and then it is this huge thing...ugh. Just be honest. But if you are keeping it a secret from everyone, obviously you have to figure out whether or not it is worth the risk of him having a big problem and "outing" you.

Which leads us neatly to...

2. How serious are you? If you have JUST started dating him, you don't know him very well yet. If you are at all unsure about whether or not you can trust him, it may be smart to keep it a secret, just for right now. The important thing is not to LIE - if he asks, say that you work online, and that it is really boring, and you would rather talk about x....and keep it moving. Then, if you do become serious later on, you can explain that you keep it a secret, and you didn't want to tell him until you knew him a little better. Any sane and rational man can respect that. But if you create some big lie "oh, I do audio typing for a research company based out of detroit", then he may well find it hard to trust you in future. After all, you lied.

Its a tough one, but like others have said, you don't want to be with someone who cannot accept what you do, and you don't want to be with someone who will be judgemental, or that you feel you have to lie to. What you do for a living is a BIG part of your life - you can't have a serious relationship and make that a lie. And bear in mind, if you lie, he might find you, and imagine how much more upset the shock would make him.

JackAlexander
01-19-2013, 07:08 PM
My bf knows what I do, he dislikes it. I had to be brutally honest to explain it to him (he never heard of such a thing) and tell him it is porn. I told him right up front in the beginning so if it was a problem I would not have to invest my time and emotions before he found out. I at least gave him a choice about it' accept me for what I am or don't is how I saw it.

His ex found out what I do, found me on SM. Wasn't hard I am on the first page most of the time (so 1st page is not all it is cracked up to be!! :). She apparently took me into private and video taped it and then sent it to him. I didn't know you can do that!!!! Wish I could ONLY c2c now.

He will not tell me what I was doing but he said it was bad and it was like walking in on me cheating on him. He said he cried, poor thing.

He is ok and and I think we are moving past it, but DAMN!!! So glad I was honest with him up front or it would have been the end for sure.
I have since deleted everything I could off of the internet and put my geoblocks back on :( It takes 24 hours I think, I do not want to go to work tonight - so afraid she is going to be there!!! :-( It is Saturday night!!!

Wonder the impact of changing my name on SM.

:-( Jack :(

MissSassyPickles
01-19-2013, 07:15 PM
His ex found out what I do, found me on SM. Wasn't hard I am on the first page most of the time (so 1st page is not all it is cracked up to be!! :). She apparently took me into private and video taped it and then sent it to him. I didn't know you can do that!!!! Wish I could ONLY c2c now.

What. the. fuck. What a bitch! She's obviously jealous. I'm sorry! I hope she gets what she deserves and you can resolve things with your bf!

Blovely
01-19-2013, 07:22 PM
My bf knows what I do, he dislikes it. I had to be brutally honest to explain it to him (he never heard of such a thing) and tell him it is porn. I told him right up front in the beginning so if it was a problem I would not have to invest my time and emotions before he found out. I at least gave him a choice about it' accept me for what I am or don't is how I saw it.

His ex found out what I do, found me on SM. Wasn't hard I am on the first page most of the time (so 1st page is not all it is cracked up to be!! :). She apparently took me into private and video taped it and then sent it to him. I didn't know you can do that!!!! Wish I could ONLY c2c now.

He will not tell me what I was doing but he said it was bad and it was like walking in on me cheating on him. He said he cried, poor thing.

He is ok and and I think we are moving past it, but DAMN!!! So glad I was honest with him up front or it would have been the end for sure.
I have since deleted everything I could off of the internet and put my geoblocks back on :( It takes 24 hours I think, I do not want to go to work tonight - so afraid she is going to be there!!! :-( It is Saturday night!!!

Wonder the impact of changing my name on SM.

:-( Jack :(

Hug for you. What a jealous bitch. I can't believe she did that. She probably thought he was going to break up with you and go back to her when she outed you. Little did she know that you already told him about what you do. I couldn't imagine being that miserable and hateful. I do kind of wonder how she found out. I'd watch the ppl around you.

If you change your name she might just find you again since she knows what you look like, what site your on, and probably when you work. But than again you never know, changing your name might work. You do have to close your account, open a new account, and do the paper work again in order to change your name. Its not horrible changing your name but IMO it does feel like your a newbie again because you have to work to get your regulars, rating, placement, etc back. I'd tell your regulars what your new name is before closing your account because they may not be able to find you ever again. I didn't tell my regulars and I think only 1 found me since I changed my name. I'd def make a mass announcement or something if you decide to change your name.

Miss_Rogue
01-20-2013, 05:49 PM
I tried convincing my BF to be okay with me starting camming for nearly a YEAR!!! I actually joined a bunch of cam sites and then did nothing as I was waiting for him to be comfortable with the idea.
Well we ended up racking up a lot of debt, moving into an extrodinarily high rent house, and we were way behind on everything. I looked at him and said "what are you gunna do?" And he just looked down at the ground. So I told him, "Watch the baby, I'm going to go shake my titties for some money." --- And that was that. LOL I can't believe I wasted a whole YEAR. I should have just done it when I started. No he's not thrilled about it, but he knows we need the money and I am doing what I think is right for now. We don't talk about it too much. And it's still really akward when he's home downstairs LOL
I love what someone said on here about not being ashamed for what I do, just being ashamed for how society thinks of my work (degrading, nasty, etc)

TrissyWaldorf
01-21-2013, 08:20 AM
I thought my boyfriend would think worse of me, and it used to come up a lot, even after he knew. I was always worried he would hold it against me later or think bad of me, but he has been nothing but supportive. Also, he says it's a turn on because he's "always wanted to date a porn star." :rotfl:

AureliaC
01-25-2013, 02:52 PM
My husband helps me with clips/editing etc. My c4s profits have doubled since he started doing clips with me. As for it being a gross fetish we always joke that I'm so talented I fart cash! I think if it pays the bills they'll be ok with just about anything "gross"

Lexxxibelle
01-30-2013, 07:58 AM
Mine unfortunately don't know , we been together a really long time but he isn't for it at all , I see him a couple times a week if that but making money is the most important thing since it's my job and only job as well

SydneyBrooke
01-30-2013, 09:27 AM
My fiance knows and is very supportive of me. When I first brought it up he was against it so I dropped it. After about a week he said he'd thought about it and if I still wanted to do it, to go for it. That was over a year ago and he still loves to watch while I record content or even making it with me.

anonymous camgirl
01-30-2013, 10:28 AM
I agree wholeheartedly with you.. I do not know why girls are telling guys upfront.. Most people really truly do not understand what we do at all. I used to tell every guy upfront then all they wanted to do was talk about my job and get me into bed.. They could care less about me and who i am as a person.. because the job is so unreal.. it's fascinating to them more than your real self.. So I quit.. but often times they would find me out before i even would get serious.. the last guy knew who i was before I went on a first date with him.( his employee apparently likes fetish videos) and he showed him my picture and said do you KNOW who that is? I almost cancelled on him because I no longer trusted him, I have enough problems with men trying to get in my pants all the time. Yea so, I had to convince this guy for awhile that I was not a freak and it was just a fricken job.. You shouldn't have to deal with that.. People judge you for what you do not who you are.... Don't bother telling IMO


This is so true, you need to look out for number one ladies. It's all very noble of you guys to be honest with everyone, but you have to realize that not everyone out there is a good person like you are and can end up treating you badly, getting jealous, or "outing" you.

I'm seeing a new guy, and he doesn't know. I agree with the consensus that if he thinks less of me because of it, he isn't for me, but at this point he might not know better. These guys don't realize that what we're doing is mostly fake (for me anyway), that we seldom are genuinely attracted to our customers, and that when we look like we're in the throes of orgasm, we're really only thinking of what we're going to do with all the money we're making, and not on the guy's various parts.

I had a relationship where I repeatedly explained to the guy that my shows were about nothing but money, but I guess I did such a good job of acting when I let him watch that it never really convinced him. I had another relationship where I only had to explain it once, and he was cool with it. Both of them were good guys, but every guy is going to react differently.

Let him get to know YOU before he gets to know your job. Right now, I'm trying to show him that I'm a good, loyal person, that I don't flirt with other guys when I'm out, that he has all of my emotional and sexual attention. Camming is my job, but it's very personal to me and being a shy/private person, I need him to prove to me that he's the sort of man I can be open with before I reveal what it is I do. Who I am and what I do are two very different things.

I love Justine's idea of telling him a story about your "friend". Girl you should write a blog about your dating experiences, honestly I'm so curious about how different guys react, lol.

Anyways, if the relationship progresses, I'll probably tell him that I'm considering trying this camming job that I heard about online, and would he be okay with it? Hopefully the answer will be yes. If not, I guess I'll have to evaluate my feelings for him.

Lexxxibelle
01-30-2013, 10:33 AM
I know it's not the most honest thing to keep it but seems guys just dont understand , I will be a camgirl another several years but not forever and don't wanna lose him due to a job that won't be forever

Glasses
01-30-2013, 11:39 AM
^^so you'd rather lose him when being found out and he realizes that you've been lying for years? That's pretty cool too.

Might be easy to say, but I wouldn't be together with someone whom I'd loose because I cam. Camming is my job. It belongs to me. Forever or not forever, but this is me. If he doesn't like me, then why bother at all?

jellybabby
01-30-2013, 11:54 AM
id be lost if my bf didn't no I cammed he the one that make my coffee and brings it to me plus he love a laught at the C2C stuff :)

Blovely
01-30-2013, 12:09 PM
I love what someone said on here about not being ashamed for what I do, just being ashamed for how society thinks of my work (degrading, nasty, etc)
Same here..... I think that was the realest and truest thing I ever read/heard.

Lexxxibelle
01-30-2013, 04:22 PM
I appreciate not judging though , that means alot , we been kind or rocky anyways plus im not the whole lovey dovey type of girl , just a date here and there with him to the movies or something works for me , just don't have the time for an everyday spending time together thing , I do care about him alot but just taking it a day at a time , I do understand what you all mean though =) Also have to say , I been a member here just for a short time and you ladies all seem really sweet , just had to add that in there lol

KittyAudrey
02-09-2013, 06:24 PM
I've been dating with my bf for around a year now and I think Im ready to tell him about my job. Its really hard for me because I already did the "I have a friend...." story and he told me he could, like, "bear" it at first but in the long term he said he didnt think he could accept it, because he is jealous, etc, etc. So Im afraid Im going to have to break up with him :( I really hope he understands because I live by myself since I turned 18, had a very tough past and camming has done nothing but fix my whole life.

But you girls are right... I dont think I want a bf if he is not going to accept the Whole me, not just some parts.
Ill post how it went :c

MissSassyPickles
02-09-2013, 06:30 PM
Good luck KittyAudrey! I know it's hard. I hope everything works out for you! It's hard to find a guy that is secure enough to deal with a woman in the adult industry, but you will find him eventually. I hope that he is accepting of you, but if not then it's fine to be single for a while and focus on yourself! :)

arielbriel
02-09-2013, 10:42 PM
I think lying about what you do in a relationship is awful. Eventually they are going to find out and everything will be based on a lie and all trust will be broken. Why would you want to date anyone who judged you, anyways?

KillKeely
02-10-2013, 02:20 PM
I was starting to see someone. I told him what I do... (non nude even :/) and he suddenly didn't see me as potential girlfriend material anymore, boo!
The thing that annoyed me was he acted like he was okay with it, saying he's dated strippers before even blablabla. mind games UGH.
then months later, he says he doesn't want to have a real relationship with someone without a 'real' job. he would be okay with an 'open relationship though'. UM wtf? And I had helped him out finanicially too! Sorry my 'fake' job pays more then your labour one where you work 40 hours a week and are miserable and broke. >.< what a complete waste of time, and it was my first attempt of moving on after a long term relationship. i'm just so sad he messed with my head and i fell for it blahh

As a side note, my ex and i had a very strong relationship and he was completely okay with me camming, he even kind of liked the idea of having a gf that had all these 'fans' and getting what they could never have. it is possible, but i think so many people have misconcieved perceptions of this industry and it's sad. I don't know if I'd want to tell someone right away again, as much as I'd want it out in the open. I just don't know. I might just go off instinct and how I feel with each potential lol

o0Pepper0o
02-11-2013, 12:28 AM
my boyfriend cams with me. We rule =)

sexyred
02-11-2013, 02:15 PM
I believe in being very honest. It's not just about our feelings, can you imagine if the person you were falling for was lying about something so major? It doesn't make a guy a "bad guy" for not wanting to date a woman with our job. But I feel they have the right to know.

Furthermore, although I have many other things going for me (including a cover job, so I could hide camming), this is a part of me. Am I going to disclose it in the first 5 minutes of a date, no. But if I feel like I'd like to see them again and could envision a future, then I will tell him. If he's not ok with it, then he's not the right match for me. I don't feel like I NEED a relationship to be happy, so I'd rather wait til I find someone who accepts me for me (and everything that goes with that).

That being said, I do have a boyfriend and I told him on our first date, because we were really hitting it off (I met him on match.com and he's an older, more straight-laced seeming kinda guy). During dinner, when we were talking about our lives, I casually said I was a stripper throughout my undergrad and graduate school. He was surprised, but took it all in stride. Then later, after a few drinks, we were talking about Vegas, and I told him how my good friend lives there. That she used to be a porn star, but now is a bartender (ironically, we are going to Vegas this week and he is going to meet her :)). I talked about how she's such a sweet, fun girl and that I'd never imagine her as a porn star.... Then he said that he loved porn. And bam! I told him and he is ok with it. He had never heard of camming and is still somewhat confused about it, lol. I've made him watch my favorite girls with me though and he gets that it is a job. I think he gets a tiny bit jealous, but I would think there was something wrong if he didn't get a tad jealous. And he's a catch (and so am I)!

Also, I am a terrible liar.... I lie to my family about camming, and I rarely interact with them. I couldn't imagine the stress of hiding it every day.

LadyJuliette
02-11-2013, 02:21 PM
I would wait and see how serious it gets, thats just me because I don't like everyone in my business. I'm going to do what I do regardless, but its amazing to me I started working as a professional Domina in a dungeon then started web camming. People who I thought would be A okay with it actually turned out to be the most judgemental, so I've been hesistant to who I trust. So I would say wait for a while and see where its going. But if you feel any type of guilt then just go ahead and set yourself free.

KittyAudrey
02-11-2013, 03:50 PM
Oh girls, I told him today. After a few days about joking about being a cam-girl and even a bit of cyber sex in skype the other day, I finally told him today. I'm so sad, he got angry and said he couldn't accept it and he wants me to stop doing it, I told him if I stop working I'm going to be in serious problems in no time, but he didn't answer me. He asked me why did it take me so long to tell and I explained I needed to be sure I was safe first and that I could trust him with something so personal to me like that... (I waited 10 months more or less) he is angry but he didn't yell or lost his temper really. I could see his eyes were a bit teary and that kinda broke my heart. I knew I was going to hurt him and our trust, but I couldn't risk myself telling him earlier...

I told him I wanted him to think about everything, that I'm still the girl he knows and that this is simply a job, that doesn't change me really. Also I was a cam girl before we met so if I did change he already liked me with those changes anyway. He told me he needed to be alone and I finished it saying that is important that he knows that I understand completely if he can't accept it, and asked him to please understand why I waited all these month to feel safe. I left without crying but I cried a bit when I got home :'(

CarmenF
02-11-2013, 04:06 PM
Oh girls, I told him today. After a few days about joking about being a cam-girl and even a bit of cyber sex in skype the other day, I finally told him today. I'm so sad, he got angry and said he couldn't accept it and he wants me to stop doing it, I told him if I stop working I'm going to be in serious problems in no time, but he didn't answer me. He asked me why did it take me so long to tell and I explained I needed to be sure I was safe first and that I could trust him with something so personal to me like that... (I waited 10 months more or less) he is angry but he didn't yell or lost his temper really. I could see his eyes were a bit teary and that kinda broke my heart. I knew I was going to hurt him and our trust, but I couldn't risk myself telling him earlier...

I told him I wanted him to think about everything, that I'm still the girl he knows and that this is simply a job, that doesn't change me really. Also I was a cam girl before we met so if I did change he already liked me with those changes anyway. He told me he needed to be alone and I finished it saying that is important that he knows that I understand completely if he can't accept it, and asked him to please understand why I waited all these month to feel safe. I left without crying but I cried a bit when I got home :'(

I feel you :( I waited a lot to tell my bf too. At first he said things like "It was too good to be true/You were too perfect to be real/ I don't have feelings for you anymore". I think it's a big shock to hear. He made me stop for 3 months but I don't need money as you do. He got around and after a couple of days he was back with me. I know of another girl that took months and they are back otgether now. After 3 months I started again as he was fine with it. I suffered like crazy... I waited over a year to tell him. A year and a half.
I wish you the best KittyAudrey and all the girls that still have to come out.

KittyAudrey
02-11-2013, 06:19 PM
He told me when I asked him to keep this from anyone (obviously) he told me he wont tell nobody cause he was ashamed of it anyways >:(. That pissed me of a bit since he doesn't have a job at all... I mean, I need to pay bills every month and I don't have a family that can help me out since I live in other country. I thought about these all afternoon and I starting to feel more angry than sad right now. I mean, I'm no way working for 10 bucks an hour on a McDonalds were they treat me like nothing and getting worried because I don't know if at the end of the month I'll be able to pay my bills.

Blovely
02-11-2013, 06:55 PM
He told me when I asked him to keep this from anyone (obviously) he told me he wont tell nobody cause he was ashamed of it anyways >:(. That pissed me of a bit since he doesn't have a job at all... I mean, I need to pay bills every month and I don't have a family that can help me out since I live in other country. I thought about these all afternoon and I starting to feel more angry than sad right now. I mean, I'm no way working for 10 bucks an hour on a McDonalds were they treat me like nothing and getting worried because I don't know if at the end of the month I'll be able to pay my bills.

As soon as I read the bold I was like
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbnpg5LN7A1r6h7wh.gif

I would've been like
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbiye4vNd01risusro1_500.gif

MissSassyPickles
02-11-2013, 07:08 PM
He told me when I asked him to keep this from anyone (obviously) he told me he wont tell nobody cause he was ashamed of it anyways >:(. That pissed me of a bit since he doesn't have a job at all... I mean, I need to pay bills every month and I don't have a family that can help me out since I live in other country. I thought about these all afternoon and I starting to feel more angry than sad right now. I mean, I'm no way working for 10 bucks an hour on a McDonalds were they treat me like nothing and getting worried because I don't know if at the end of the month I'll be able to pay my bills.

If this was a friend telling this to you, what would you say? I know that it's hard because you're involved with the person, but look at the objective facts! This person has no job, yet the audacity to try to slut shame you for making bank and taking care of yourself?!?! From all your posts you seem like a really nice person and don't deserve this at all!

simone87
02-11-2013, 07:25 PM
He told me when I asked him to keep this from anyone (obviously) he told me he wont tell nobody cause he was ashamed of it anyways >:(. That pissed me of a bit since he doesn't have a job at all....

wowww...who takes care of him? does he understand the fact of life that most people need to work for a living? he has no right to try and shame you like that.

KittyAudrey
02-11-2013, 07:47 PM
Thank you so much girls. You opened my eyes, I was stupid on feeling sad or guilty about it, he has no right on saying those things, he is not paying my bills even if he had to!

His parents give him money, he just go to college with me and thats it... he is always saying he is "looking" for a job.
Anyway I'm done with it, if he gives me this kind of bullshit again I'm going to tell him that I'm not ashamed of what I do. I do it cause I like it and I really didn't expect he would said something like that to me, he always was so liberal about everything. Guess I made a mistake with him.

Incantatious
02-12-2013, 03:10 PM
Where giving up your job for a partner is concerned, I think it depends on how much your life choices and decisions mean to you. - For me it would depend on how much I loved my job, and how well it supported me. I plan on being with my current partner for as long as we get on as well as we do now (and have been for the past 5 years). I don't believe in unconditional love / giving your love to someone unconditionally. For me, one of the conditions of my love would have to be acceptance of my job. If he turned around and said to me that he hated my job, it embarrassed him, etc, and wanted me to give it up despite having been so encouraging before, I would have to leave him as a romantic partner, despite the fact that he is so close and dear to me.

Every thread in my independent life has been woven by me, in such a way as to form a solid foundation for me to flourish in. Yes, he is one of those "threads" too, but to me it is still vital that we know how to look after ourselves the best way we know how, no matter who happens to enter our life. A steady flow of good money in your bank is the difference between a life fraught with fear, struggling, famine and despair, and a life of happiness, contentment and stability. As bleak as it sounds, there may come a day when my partner dies. - I mean, I may still be alive myself, to see that day. And then, what will I do? Grieve for my loss of him hard and deeply, but secretly smile a little inside that I can finally become myself again (if my job was so dear to me that I was upset to lose it)?

I would explode into the person I really am, and have always really been, knowing that throughout the entire life of someone I loved, I was just not myself with them, and put their word on my life as a priority over what I wanted. This would feel horrible to me.

space_cowgirl
02-12-2013, 04:59 PM
^ Word.

Damn....you're better than Oprah! :)

zivlet
02-12-2013, 06:16 PM
I agree!So true!
Okay so my last man and I parted ways, but it was NOTHING to do with my job. He adored me and was proud of me and was secure enough in himself to know that my job was, a job! He trusted me (and was right to!) and there was only outside factors keeping us from being together-who knows we may even work it out .. But the meaning of this post is, he was a good man. He loved me (still does) and my job wasn't ever an issue. Good men do exist that will not mind. You shouldn't ever settle for someone who thinks less of you because of it.
Also, some men will never be secure and capable in themselves able to handle it-and they're fine, to go out with somebody else. If they're respectful and understand and can come over their issues, give them a go. If it doesn't work out, you both tried.
If someone isn't even willing to tolerate the idea and wants you to give it up without considering your feelings or the impact it'll have on your life, they they're not worth your time xx

Incantatious
02-12-2013, 08:05 PM
^ Word.

Damn....you're better than Oprah! :)

D'ahhhhhhh! Hahahaha! Why thank you! XD

caitir
02-12-2013, 08:42 PM
I tell people upfront because it weeds out the idiots.

Agreed- I did this, when I was single- A lot of my dates never spoke to me again. But it was only the first or second date so it was no big deal.

I told my current boyfriend on the first "date" because he saw the cam set up, and my laptop in my bedroom. (lol) His response was "Oh, okay." and he was fine with it. Fast forward 2 years, and now he kinda has issues with it because it effects our sex life and when I have rude customers I let it get to me too much and it makes him mad to see me so upset.