Log in

View Full Version : Dating my ATF



Pages : 1 2 3 [4] 5

cherryblossomsinspring
03-18-2011, 08:42 PM
Of course thats why. I actually did like her.

Instead people on here act like they know more because of their experience and everything but when your that emotionally and financially invested in a relationship its not that easy to be so judgmental on someone. Like I said before and will say it again, its EASY to be the judge on the outcome of things. How I view things in life can be different than yours. Maybe its because of my age, how I was raised...its just different how I view and do things the way you might do.

I can bring examples where people got married or found their bfs in the club and I can bring examples of the opposite. So this is just another one of those examples that didnt work out. But if you want to jump on the bandwagon of haters go ahead. Next time your involved with someone you like, post it on here and I will give you my 'expert' advice too ;)

Nobody really had a similar situaiton like mine, and if they did, they didnt clarify the length of it, the amount of times you did meet OTC, the money spent, and what happened in the outcome. I did all that on here. If you read this entire thread no one did. If they did I can bring up the same things they said about me. So whats the point?

I got atleast 4 pm's from people that didnt even post on this thread and are talking about their "relationships" too. I posted everything about it on here for everyone to learn and didnt take anything out of the "equation". Hopefully this wont make others shy and post their situations for all of us. At the end this forum is to help others learn about this hobby. Some situations like mine were costly and I hope someone else that takes the path that I took to think twice about what they are doing.

Am I upset? A little. Is it the end of the world? No. Can I get over it? Of course. The relationships that I did have before were more emotionally involved. When those didnt work out in the end I was even more upset but thats just how life is. It took a some time to get over it but it does after some time. I am moving on like I moved on before, whats the big deal? Do I still talk to my ex gfs? Sure, I keep in touch with them and we are just friends.

If you reread this thread you will see what people said about me: sadomasochistic, not a nice guy, I am not special, I need therapy, I need to cowboy up, phycho, stalker, sucker, 'playing mind games with her', "bitterness and anger towards her which I find to be quite unfair", 'dropping her seems harsh'...

What cause I actually took this girl out to eat and pay her $500 plus the dinner? I am the bad guy now? Atleast I am not that jerk that tries to finger her in her pu**y on a $10 lap dance. I had respect for her.



I just want to state that my comment of "bitterness and anger towards her which I find to be quite unfair" was based on your comments of being "bored" and "she's just a normal girl". As I said you attempted to reduce her to try to get over the pain, which is what's unfair. Also stating she is playing games with you when you in fact stated she reminded you of your ex and that's what you like about her. So that is the only reason why my thought of what a nice great guy I felt you were in the beginning of your post changed to be something of a guy that because he couldn't get her where he wanted her, he now had to trash her and reduce her to just a normal girl. That is the part that was unfair. Also if you were so "bored" then you wouldn't have taken the time to write this post. What you were really "bored" with is waiting for some emotional response from her.

As I said in my post many people have been there done that and 20 years later may come at you harshly. I'm not a stripper and I'm not a customer. I tried to see your situation from both sides. The only time I felt you were being cruel was when you attempted to reduce her in hopes of shedding the weight of what you truly feel for her. Also the issue you brought up started with her wanting a computer. So one would easily just state well tell her you can only give her for the time. For some reason that was difficult and you wanted to just call it quits on the whole thing. This is where I was confused. It was also coming into later posts that your statements seemed to change. Comparison's to ex's . What woman wants to be a copy of another female in a man's past? Even if she cared for you and said screw the money let's date for real. If she knew how you really viewed her money aside, she would not want to date you at all. The ex comparison chart is the kiss of death to any healthy relationship, so in reality there wasn't a future to begin with for it was primarily built on another woman from your past.

Also you said you're bored? Umm why want to have a relationship with a woman you're bored of and reminds you of your ex? She was dead in the water from the beginning. Also you said "you would never marry her". So she's supposed to run off into the sunset with you as a copy of your ex and then the road just stops? No riding off into the distance happyily ever after?

Perhaps that's something she sees and maybe she feels why waste my time with someone that doesn't want a future? Many women just take what's being given and realize that this is a fantasy that has no happy ending.

If only you knew how much I was really rooting for you in the beginning only to feel uggh what a sad ending.

jack0177057
03-23-2011, 11:06 AM
It's what I do jack. You can ignore me anytime you like...lol, that won't stop me of course...

It's all about clarity jack. You spend half of your time here explaining what you meant to say.

Clarity? This is a social forum, not a forum for molecular biology or rocket science. You're smart enough to understand what I generally mean from my comments, but you amuse yourself by demanding that I explain everything with precision and detail - as if you were my professor and I was defending my post-graduate thesis to you.

If I was getting paid for posting here, I wouldn't generalize or oversimplify as much as I do and would I support what I say with cites to the appropriate authorities, but since I am not getting paid for my time here, I tend to oversimplify and generalize. This would be expedient, if not for a few on here that deliberately instigate by interpreting what I say in the most provocative way.

I'm not complaining, though, you're entitled to amuse yourself.

yoda57us
03-23-2011, 05:40 PM
Clarity? This is a social forum, not a forum for molecular biology or rocket science.

If it was I wouldn't be here...



You're smart enough to understand what I generally mean from my comments, but you amuse yourself by demanding that I explain everything with precision and detail - as if you were my professor and I was defending my post-graduate thesis to you.


I appreciate the compliment jack but I'm just not buying it. Everything you post here is in "my way or the highway" generalities and brutal black and white finality. When someone calls you on it you respond with " I meant this, not that". I "demand" nothing jack. I simply engage in the discussions here. I can't help it if your vague approach requires clarification at times...

rickdugan
03-23-2011, 06:19 PM
If you reread this thread you will see what people said about me: sadomasochistic, not a nice guy, I am not special, I need therapy, I need to cowboy up, phycho, stalker, sucker, 'playing mind games with her', "bitterness and anger towards her which I find to be quite unfair", 'dropping her seems harsh'...

What cause I actually took this girl out to eat and pay her $500 plus the dinner? I am the bad guy now? Atleast I am not that jerk that tries to finger her in her pu**y on a $10 lap dance. I had respect for her.

Can we add "whiney" to the list? ;)

If you think carefully about the perspectives of who said what, then it should make sense to you. The guys, and some of the girls, gave you crap for being taken by such an obvious game and otherwise getting so wrapped up in this dancer. Conversely, all of the comments criticizing you for being hard on her, playing games with her, etc., came from dancers. Make sense now? ::)

She smelled a mark and she milked it for what she could. End of story. Where I come from we label your payments to her as tuition. But don't feel too bad about it - many of us more seasoned blues paid plenty of tuition ourselves, so while we bust your chops we also remember the games that we fell for in our early days.

We live and we learn.

Hopper
03-24-2011, 06:04 AM
I appreciate the compliment jack but I'm just not buying it. Everything you post here is in "my way or the highway" generalities and brutal black and white finality. When someone calls you on it you respond with " I meant this, not that". I "demand" nothing jack. I simply engage in the discussions here. I can't help it if your vague approach requires clarification at times...

Yoda, even when somebody does make their comments clear you often find some way to misinterpret them, usually by failing to read the poster's clear intentions into their literal words. We probably would need to state it in scientific language to avoid this. Saying Jack is "my way or the highway" is the pot calling the kettle black because when you are called on your misreadings, you don't apologize or correct yourself, you just tell us to like it or leave it because it's "your interpretation" That's just as "vague" as Jack not properly stating or qualifying his opinions. True Jack makes careless comments here but I think many others are guilty of it and such things can be rectified in the course of criticism and discussion. Some people here don't even have the integrity or intelligence to see the weaknesses in their comments when others point it out to them.

I recall you making a blanket, ill-informed and thoughtless comment on the discussion of art not long ago; which, on being criticized for it, you refused to even discuss or defend. And the ironic thing was that you made that comment in criticism of a comment of mine. You should either take responsibility for your own statements or not require it of others and let them keep "their opinion" too.

SparkyBunny
03-25-2011, 06:43 PM
This thread is some kind of ridiculous. It's the same story I've seen so many times.

A man meets a dancer he likes. He showers her in money to tempt her away and try to win her affection. The girl takes the money, because you're a dumbass not to take free money. Then when the guy isn't getting fuck for the buck he complains.

You have the expectation, you spend the money, you accept that it's all your doing. None of this being played crap.

I see girls get expensive gifts all the time from their regulars. They pay their bills, take care of rent, whatever, because they like the girl and want to do it. It has nothing to do with the girl playing them. Then at some point he turns around and feels used. Then the man feels angry and vindictive and you know what the girl does? Cries. She cries and cries because what she thought was a friend and benefactor was just another man wanting tail.

cherryblossomsinspring
03-25-2011, 09:27 PM
This thread is some kind of ridiculous. It's the same story I've seen so many times.

A man meets a dancer he likes. He showers her in money to tempt her away and try to win her affection. The girl takes the money, because you're a dumbass not to take free money. Then when the guy isn't getting fuck for the buck he complains.

You have the expectation, you spend the money, you accept that it's all your doing. None of this being played crap.

I see girls get expensive gifts all the time from their regulars. They pay their bills, take care of rent, whatever, because they like the girl and want to do it. It has nothing to do with the girl playing them. Then at some point he turns around and feels used. Then the man feels angry and vindictive and you know what the girl does? Cries. She cries and cries because what she thought was a friend and benefactor was just another man wanting tail.

Thank you , Thank you and Thank You. You put the "tail" on the donkey!!!!!

mhi
03-26-2011, 04:35 PM
Having to pay bills and pulling the wool over someone's eyes are mutually exclusive IMO. Remember the golden rule...

yoda57us
03-26-2011, 09:22 PM
And the ironic thing was that you made that comment in criticism of a comment of mine. You should either take responsibility for your own statements or not require it of others and let them keep "their opinion" too.

Ironic? In what way? If you want to comment on a specific post of mine it might be a good idea to do that on the thread where it appeared since I have no idea what you are talking about..

I take responsibility for everything I post Hopper. When have I ever denied posting something? As a member of this site, I have a right to comment on whatever I want to within the rules of the forum. I don't recall ever telling anyone they didn't have a right to their opinion. That doesn't mean that I won't question them on it.

rickdugan
03-27-2011, 09:17 AM
This thread is some kind of ridiculous. It's the same story I've seen so many times.

A man meets a dancer he likes. He showers her in money to tempt her away and try to win her affection. The girl takes the money, because you're a dumbass not to take free money. Then when the guy isn't getting fuck for the buck he complains.

You have the expectation, you spend the money, you accept that it's all your doing. None of this being played crap.

This, 1000 times this.

Now I don't care if the girl did hint at other possibilities. A grown man is responsible for his own actions. He was in a strip club, not at the opera. In an environment where young girls take their off their clothes and dance for almost any guy who has the cash, one should reasonably understand that a certain level of caution and common sense is needed.

I have absolutely no sympathy for any guy that is dumb enough to spend the mortgage payment or the grocery money chasing after the affections of a dancer in a SC.


I see girls get expensive gifts all the time from their regulars. They pay their bills, take care of rent, whatever, because they like the girl and want to do it. It has nothing to do with the girl playing them. Then at some point he turns around and feels used. Then the man feels angry and vindictive and you know what the girl does? Cries. She cries and cries because what she thought was a friend and benefactor was just another man wanting tail.

You may be laying it on a little thick here. ;)

IMHO it would have to be a very new and/or naive stripper that doesn't understand why a guy is throwing large sums of money at her. In fact, IME many dancers are quite good at stringalongs and a variety of other games designed to keep him spending while not shattering his false hopes, such as subtly dodging uncomfortable requests/questions or otherwise giving him non-committal or even slightly promissory responses.

But if a guy is dumb enough to participate in this, and voluntarily shell out large sums of money pursuing her, then it is on him. I don't think that the dancer has any responsiblity to tell the guy to stop spending money, regardless of how remote his chances are of getting what he really wants.

swalbr
03-27-2011, 11:19 AM
I've known a dancer for over 15 years. She was my ATF way back when and things between us were strictly customer- dancer related , although there seemed to be a genuine "affection" between us. This went on for a number of years until one day she disappeared. After about 7-8 years of not seeing her, we bumped into each other again at another club. She had gotten married and divorced. We have renewed our "relationship" and things have gotten much more intense. Where I live, things are much more liberal in the clubs. Suffice to say that our club encounters are hot to the extreme. I pay for her in the club, however, she will spend 2-3 hrs. with me never asking for more then my usual amount. She has told me she adores me and we have gone out to dinner a few times. I pay for the dinners, but not her time. She has asked me out for my birthday, which will be her treat. She has mentioned she would like to go away with me and she would pay for herself. Do you think I'm being played?

pcbman
03-28-2011, 04:40 AM
>Do you think I'm being played?

And this is why successful dancer customer relationships are so rare. It's not always the dancer that has issues. IMO, if everything you say is 100% true, then she is into you. The real question you should be asking yourself is whether you can trust her to be your girlfriend or perhaps more, or will that nagging question always be in the back of your mind? Best of luck to you....

bem401
03-28-2011, 04:50 AM
^^^If you want to find out if you're being played, I'd suggest you remove the customer aspect from your relationship and see what happens.

swalbr
03-28-2011, 06:19 AM
^^^If you want to find out if you're being played, I'd suggest you remove the customer aspect from your relationship and see what happens.


Actually, I enjoy our arrangement just the way it is. I guess I just want to know if it's possible that there could be genuine affection from her, which I have for her, even though there is a financial arrangement between us.

mhi
03-28-2011, 06:45 AM
Don't mean to tell you what to do but talk to her..if u have a good rapport you should be able to communicate without scaring her off.

SteveSmith
03-28-2011, 07:11 AM
Actually, I enjoy our arrangement just the way it is. I guess I just want to know if it's possible that there could be genuine affection from her, which I have for her, even though there is a financial arrangement between us.

Yes. I'd say it's possible after knowing her that long. Just knowing someone that long can create affection for each other even though you're paying her for her time.

Some sugar daddies and sugar babies develop affection for each other even though the guy is paying.

Most guys are paying in most relationships, ie, marriage, long term relationships, etc.

I suppose that if a husband told his wife that he's withdrawing all financial support from her and the kids, she'll probably head for divorce court even though she still loves him.

You're going to hear on this forum that you should just do what the husband above did and see what happens. Your arrangement would come to an end but she still might have an affection for you.

I'm just saying it's possible she could have a real affection for you. Then again, she may not. And if she did, it doesn't mean she wants to take it any further, just like you don't want to take it any further.

bem401
03-28-2011, 07:21 AM
Actually, I enjoy our arrangement just the way it is.

Then why ask the question?

If you've known the lady for over a decade and haven't figured it out yet, it seems restructuring things might give you some insight.

yoda57us
03-28-2011, 08:54 AM
I pay for her in the club, however, she will spend 2-3 hrs. with me never asking for more then my usual amount. She has told me she adores me and we have gone out to dinner a few times. I pay for the dinners, but not her time. She has asked me out for my birthday, which will be her treat. She has mentioned she would like to go away with me and she would pay for herself. Do you think I'm being played?

I think you are a good customer that she trusts and appreciates. Are you "being played"? Definitions will vary. If you mean is she trying to run some sort of scam on you I think not. Is she working you for money? Yes, of course, inside the club that's her job. It sounds like you both have a clear understanding of how things work between a dancer and a customer. If you are trying to figure out if things could go further there is no one here that can answer that. You will have to ask her. I don't recommend removing money from the equation inside the club. You may have a friendly relationship with her OTC but inside the club you are a customer visiting her at her job.

swalbr
03-28-2011, 12:24 PM
I think you are a good customer that she trusts and appreciates. Are you "being played"? Definitions will vary. If you mean is she trying to run some sort of scam on you I think not. Is she working you for money? Yes, of course, inside the club that's her job. It sounds like you both have a clear understanding of how things work between a dancer and a customer. If you are trying to figure out if things could go further there is no one here that can answer that. You will have to ask her. I don't recommend removing money from the equation inside the club. You may have a friendly relationship with her OTC but inside the club you are a customer visiting her at her job.

Thanks for the responses. The other thing I should mention is that I am married. She does not know that. I feel as long as I pay her at the club our personal relationships should not matter. However, I am starting to feel guilty if she really has stronger feelings for me. Because I'm paying her I feel I don't need to bring this up. I feel as long as she keeps accepting money we are still on a customer - dancer relationship. Our OTC encounters have just been dates with no sex, other then a good nite kiss. What do y'all think?

swalbr
03-28-2011, 12:30 PM
Sorry. One more observation. I kinda feel that as long as she accepts money from me and doesn't say not to pay her, I'm not deceiving her. If she told me she can no longer take money from me, then I would have to stop seeing her as she was looking for something I cannot give. Agree or disagree? Any comments from the ladies?

rickdugan
03-28-2011, 01:15 PM
swalbr, I'm starting to believe that you are just looking for a reaction here. ;)

With that said...

I am always upfront about my marital status, a topic which usually gets covered in the get to know you chatter. Even if I am just hanging out at a club or doing p4p OTC, I like to make sure that the girl can make fully informed choices. Now some might argue that disclosing marital stastus is not strictly necessary in p4p situations, but there it is.

In your case, however, these outings sound more like dates than purely a dancer-customer thing, particularly when she starts saying that she would like to go away with you and that she would pay her own freight. I think that you are playing just a little coy here and that you know the right answer, which is that you should tell her that you are married. If this has really just been a customer-dancer thing all along, then no harm, no foul. But if she had other ideas, she gets a chance to bail out.

swalbr
03-28-2011, 01:30 PM
swalbr, I'm starting to believe that you are just looking for a reaction here. ;)

With that said...

I am always upfront about my marital status, a topic which usually gets covered in the get to know you chatter. Even if I am just hanging out at a club or doing p4p OTC, I like to make sure that the girl can make fully informed choices. Now some might argue that disclosing marital stastus is not strictly necessary in p4p situations, but there it is.

In your case, however, these outings sound more like dates than purely a dancer-customer thing, particularly when she starts saying that she would like to go away with you and that she would pay her own freight. I think that you are playing just a little coy here and that you know the right answer, which is that you should tell her that you are married. If this has really just been a customer-dancer thing all along, then no harm, no foul. But if she had other ideas, she gets a chance to bail out.

Looking for opinions. I always thought that a club setting is just a fantasy. Dancers pretend they are into you and there is no need for reality. I'm thinking there is genuine affection that has developed over time, but I'm still paying for "intimate" experiences. She may be fantasizing about me, as I do about her, but as long as I'm a paying customer I do not have to divulge anything too personal about myself. Again, if she told me she couldn.t accept money from me anymore because of her feelings, I would then bail out. As it is I am enjoying our time together and she makes decent money from me. LOL..kinda like a real girlfriend. Maybe were both experiencing a fantasy and telling her I'm married would ruin everything. In the meantime we are both benifiting. She has a regular who she likes and pays her and I have my fantasy girl. Why rock the boat?

SteveSmith
03-28-2011, 02:27 PM
It sounds like a friendly affection but not that serious. Don't rock the boat. :-X

lemiwinks31
03-28-2011, 02:34 PM
I'm just saying it's possible she could have a real affection for you. Then again, she may not. And if she did, it doesn't mean she wants to take it any further, just like you don't want to take it any further.


"So...you are saying there is a chance!"

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_knkvaxcxu7Q/TGM-g-Vv_jI/AAAAAAAAATc/Ek_jvPSN4uU/s1600/dumb+and+dumber.gif

rickdugan
03-28-2011, 03:31 PM
swal, your little yarn has a couple of holes in it.

First, are you telling us that, in all of 2-3 hour blocks you've spent with her ITC, as well as the "few dinners" you went out to with her, that your marital status never came up? ::)

Second, you've already indicated that she did all of these things with you despite the fact that you've given her nothing more than your "usual amount" ITC. So either you are giving her so much that she feels compelled to give you all of this time and attention both ITC and OTC, or she is going with you OTC for other reasons.

Anything you can add to clear the haze of confusion around these points would be greatly helpful for those posters, including the ladies, who are no doubt eager to share their insights. ;)

mediocrity
03-28-2011, 05:18 PM
It amazes me this easily "solvable" "problem" has gone on for seven pages.

Then again it shouldn't because that's par for the course.

yoda57us
03-28-2011, 06:44 PM
Thanks for the responses. The other thing I should mention is that I am married. She does not know that. I feel as long as I pay her at the club our personal relationships should not matter. However, I am starting to feel guilty if she really has stronger feelings for me. Because I'm paying her I feel I don't need to bring this up. I feel as long as she keeps accepting money we are still on a customer - dancer relationship. Our OTC encounters have just been dates with no sex, other then a good nite kiss. What do y'all think?

Um, dude, if you are seeing her OTC and not paying for it she needs to know that you are married. Don't be an asshole.

Your credibility index just dropped to zero by the way...

rickdugan
03-28-2011, 08:20 PM
Um, dude, if you are seeing her OTC and not paying for it she needs to know that you are married. Don't be an asshole.

Your credibility index just dropped to zero by the way...

Damn it Yoda, you just had to go and blurt it out, didn't you. :)

I posted what I did in the hope that he would dig himself in a little deeper first. He obviously lied to this girl, but I was curious as to whether he was going to admit it. I was also really hoping to see how much further he was willing to take the BS "she's doing it because I'm a customer" routine.

I suppose there's always the next one...

Jessie_tinydancer
03-29-2011, 06:34 AM
Thanks for the responses. The other thing I should mention is that I am married. She does not know that. I feel as long as I pay her at the club our personal relationships should not matter. However, I am starting to feel guilty if she really has stronger feelings for me. Because I'm paying her I feel I don't need to bring this up. I feel as long as she keeps accepting money we are still on a customer - dancer relationship. Our OTC encounters have just been dates with no sex, other then a good nite kiss. What do y'all think?


You dont HAVE to do anything. But the right thing to do would be to tell her because it sounds like she likes you. Im not about to get into any moral judgement here. How do you know she didnt lie when she said she was divorced? Maybe shes still married. I tell customers I am divorced all the time. Would you care that she lied to you?

swalbr
03-29-2011, 06:49 AM
Um, dude, if you are seeing her OTC and not paying for it she needs to know that you are married. Don't be an asshole.

Your credibility index just dropped to zero by the way...


The whole atmosphere of stripclubs is based on a big lie or fantasy. Dancers pretend to be into you and you pay for that. Also, presumably we are all adults, or should be, so we know this is NOT the same as meeting someone OTC. Over the years we have had great times ITC and both of us have divulged very little about our personal lives. She loves sex and we are definately compatible on that level. I am always respectful and see her about twice a month ITC. I pay her well but certainly not excessively. When we have gone OTC, it has never been on a weekend and she is aware that I am most likely in a relationship with someone else. She has asked and I have told her that much. I know she sees other people as well and is also in a relationship with someone in a different location. We just don't get into that many specifics. Genuine feelings could still happen under these circumstances. Again, I have never asked nor received freebies from this woman on our OTC "dates". We just shared some great times which I paid for (dinners etc). Should she tell me she wants to take this in another direction as opposed to a paying customer, I would decline at that point. As long as we are all mature I don't see the harm in this "relationship". Try not to be so judgemental.

yoda57us
03-29-2011, 10:07 AM
The whole atmosphere of stripclubs is based on a big lie or fantasy. Dancers pretend to be into you and you pay for that.

Agreed, We are talking about your OTC encounters though. Inside the club ones personal situation is irrelevant.


When we have gone OTC, it has never been on a weekend and she is aware that I am most likely in a relationship with someone else. She has asked and I have told her that much. I know she sees other people as well and is also in a relationship with someone in a different location. We just don't get into that many specifics. Genuine feelings could still happen under these circumstances.

Well, which is it? Does she know that you are involved or just suspect it? See, the problem with being intentionally vague is that you may be leading her to believe that whatever you are involved in may not be that serious. What exactly is the problem with just telling her that you are married? Oh, I know! You want her to have sex with you...


Again, I have never asked nor received freebies from this woman on our OTC "dates". We just shared some great times which I paid for (dinners etc). Should she tell me she wants to take this in another direction as opposed to a paying customer, I would decline at that point.

LMAO! I was married and did the same thing you are doing for the better part of fifteen years. Honestly, I would have had sex with any dancer who offered it up OTC and you know damn well that you would to! The only difference is, since I always told them I was married, we both had all of our cards on the table.


As long as we are all mature I don't see the harm in this "relationship".

There is no maturity without honesty.


Try not to be so judgemental.

Um, OK, Try not to be so full of shit...

rickdugan
03-29-2011, 10:39 AM
swal, you are full of shit.

I don't believe for a second that, in all of the time she spent with you ITC and OTC, she never asked about your marital status. And in the remote chance that she did not, you are no doubt removing your wedding ring before you see her. So either you are outright lying to her (my vote), or at the very least you are taking steps to deceive her.

If you thought that this was all part of the club experience, you wouldn't need to hide your marital status. You do so because you know, or at least suspect, that if you tell her then these little dates will end. All the rest of your bullshit statements are just rationalizations for your dog-like actions. Neither her dates with you, nor her offer to travel with you, are simply dancer-customers activities and you very well know this.

You know, I am a bit of a dog myself, but at least I don't lie to the dancers I'm dealing with, nor do I come on here with some passive-aggressive, mealy mouthed bullshit to justify what I do. Grow some balls and tell it like it is. And, just maybe, once you do grow a set you might actually have the courage to tell this girl that you are married and let her decide, fully informed, whether she wants to continue.

So far you've justified all of this because you met her in the club, but the fact that she is a stripper doesn't mean that she deserves any less dignity and respect than anyone else does.

swalbr
03-29-2011, 11:18 AM
swal, you are full of shit.

I don't believe for a second that, in all of the time she spent with you ITC and OTC, she never asked about your marital status. And in the remote chance that she did not, you are no doubt removing your wedding ring before you see her. So either you are outright lying to her (my vote), or at the very least you are taking steps to deceive her.

If you thought that this was all part of the club experience, you wouldn't need to hide your marital status. You do so because you know, or at least suspect, that if you tell her then these little dates will end. All the rest of your bullshit statements are just rationalizations for your dog-like actions. Neither her dates with you, nor her offer to travel with you, are simply dancer-customers activities and you very well know this.

You know, I am a bit of a dog myself, but at least I don't lie to the dancers I'm dealing with, nor do I come on here with some passive-aggressive, mealy mouthed bullshit to justify what I do. Grow some balls and tell it like it is. And, just maybe, once you do grow a set you might actually have the courage to tell this girl that you are married and let her decide, fully informed, whether she wants to continue.

So far you've justified all of this because you met her in the club, but the fact that she is a stripper doesn't mean that she deserves any less dignity and respect than anyone else does.

Angry (or jealous) aren't we? So, we both enjoy our sexual encounters which she gets paid for. She understands that I have a "long term" relationship although she doesn't know or have asked for the details. I have taken her out a few times for dinner and we have had fun. She is also in a "relationship". I have not asked or received anything of a sexual OTC. So why are you so abusive? I think you protest too much. Have you not had these experiences yourself and are just envious? LOL ~!!!

swalbr
03-29-2011, 11:39 AM
You dont HAVE to do anything. But the right thing to do would be to tell her because it sounds like she likes you. Im not about to get into any moral judgement here. How do you know she didnt lie when she said she was divorced? Maybe shes still married. I tell customers I am divorced all the time. Would you care that she lied to you?


I would absolutely not care if she "lied" to me. If I told her I was interested in pursuing a " serious" non paying relationship and she lied, yes, I would care. Right now I/we are just two adults havin' some fun. Nothing serious.

rickdugan
03-29-2011, 11:43 AM
Angry (or jealous) aren't we? So, we both enjoy our sexual encounters which she gets paid for. She understands that I have a "long term" relationship although she doesn't know or have asked for the details. I have taken her out a few times for dinner and we have had fun. She is also in a "relationship". I have not asked or received anything of a sexual OTC. So why are you so abusive? I think you protest too much. Have you not had these experiences yourself and are just envious? LOL ~!!!

Great, now I know I got sucked in by a troll. :) But in the interest of being a good sport...

And exactly how does she "understand" that you are in a long term relationship? You must have told her something, but you can't even fess up to what you said to her on an anonymous message board (assuming any of this story is true at all).

And her relationship cannot be all that serious if she is willing to go away with you, and on her own dime at that. You, however, are married, so this whole "we are on the same footing because we are both in relationships" stuff is just more rationalizing on your part.

And I'd probably be less vehement if you were simply having sex with her, at least p4p. But you are doing things that are more romantic in nature and are potentially leading her on, which is never good. What's the end game here?

Oh, but that's right, she's a dancer you met in a club, so it is ok to do that to her. ::)

NICE.

yoda57us
03-29-2011, 11:45 AM
So why are you so abusive? I think you protest too much. Have you not had these experiences yourself and are just envious? LOL ~!!!

Now you are just being an idiot. You have seven posts and joined here, what? a week or so ago? Rick and the rest of us "dogs" have been here for years and spoken openly about what we do inside and outside of the clubs and who we do it with. I seldom speak for anyone else on this board but I can pretty much guarantee you that rick is not feeling the least bit jealous about your escapades.

Maybe you should spend a bit of time reading here before you decide you know where the rest of us are coming from.

More fresh meat...::)

swalbr
03-29-2011, 11:54 AM
Great, now I know I got sucked in by a troll. :) But in the interest of being a good sport...

And exactly how does she "understand" that you are in a long term relationship? You must have told her something, but you can't even fess up to what you said to her on an anonymous message board (assuming any of this story is true at all).

And her relationship cannot be all that serious if she is willing to go away with you, and on her own dime at that. You, however, are married, so this whole "we are on the same footing because we are both in relationships" stuff is just more rationalizing on your part.

And I'd probably be less vehement if you were simply having sex with her, at least p4p. But you are doing things that are more romantic in nature and are potentially leading her on, which is never good. What's the end game here?

Oh, but that's right, she's a dancer you met in a club, so it is ok to do that to her. ::)

NICE.

I am simply having PFP sex with her ITC. She's made lots of $$$ from me. Maybe she just likes me as a good customer (and kinda friend) and doesn't want to get serious either. Sometimes it's just "talk" about going away together etc. Who knows. Again, if she told me she was looking for something more serious, I would then be direct.

pcbman
03-29-2011, 12:27 PM
In your first post you asked if you were being played.

Why did you ask that question? It seems to me that you both are having a great time playing each other, and now you dragging us into your game.

swalbr
03-29-2011, 12:38 PM
Now you are just being an idiot. You have seven posts and joined here, what? a week or so ago? Rick and the rest of us "dogs" have been here for years and spoken openly about what we do inside and outside of the clubs and who we do it with. I seldom speak for anyone else on this board but I can pretty much guarantee you that rick is not feeling the least bit jealous about your escapades.

Maybe you should spend a bit of time reading here before you decide you know where the rest of us are coming from.

More fresh meat...::)

Oh you're one of those " I have tons of posts" guys. Maybe if you idiots understood what my original question was before jumpin all over me, you would answer without trying to piss all over the place. Can a stripper have genuine feelings for you even though she still accepts money from you for sex? Why can't you just address that question without trying to prove how fucking smart and experienced you think you are.

bem401
03-29-2011, 12:47 PM
Oh you're one of those " I have tons of posts" guys. Maybe if you idiots understood what my original question was before jumpin all over me, you would answer without trying to piss all over the place. Can a stripper have genuine feelings for you even though she still accepts money from you for sex? Why can't you just address that question without trying to prove how fucking smart and experienced you think you are.

Hold on, in post 169 you said sex was not involved and now you're admitting she's charging you for it? If you want people to give you an opinion you can count on as honest and worthwhile, you can't hold back extremely pertinent facts and then admit them one at a time when you don't like the responses you get. You went from a single guy with a crush on a dancer to a married guy asking questions about his P$P pal.

yoda57us
03-29-2011, 01:04 PM
Oh you're one of those " I have tons of posts" guys. Maybe if you idiots understood what my original question was before jumpin all over me, you would answer without trying to piss all over the place. Can a stripper have genuine feelings for you even though she still accepts money from you for sex? Why can't you just address that question without trying to prove how fucking smart and experienced you think you are.

Well swalbr, like it or not most of us, including myself, do have a history here on this board. Not only are you a newb but your "original question" was a deception, deliberate or not, and didn't paint the entire picture of what you and your dancer friend are actually up to.

Your first post should have mentioned that you were having sex with her ITC (which I have no issue with by the way, married or not, paying for sex is not the same as engineering a deception to get it for free). It also should have mentioned that you were married. By withholding information you elicit a different set of responses from the participants in the discussion. That's BS...

Your clearly playing her, why do you feel the need to try and play us? It's an anonymous message board, if you can't be honest what's the point in even posting? There are some of us here who have been down the same road you are traveling and might be able to provide some pertinent opinions. At this point that is doubtful...

LMAO! And you think we're jealous!?

rickdugan
03-29-2011, 01:15 PM
Oh you're one of those " I have tons of posts" guys. Maybe if you idiots understood what my original question was before jumpin all over me, you would answer without trying to piss all over the place. Can a stripper have genuine feelings for you even though she still accepts money from you for sex? Why can't you just address that question without trying to prove how fucking smart and experienced you think you are.

Great, now comes the pièce de résistance: the wounded victim act. ::)

swal, you are being jumped on because you've been feeding out info. in dribs and drabs and otherwise acting dodgy. First, you never mentioned until recently that your "intense" times ITC were p4p sex. Later, you squeeze out a comment that you might have feelings for her and think that she might have them for you. In yet a later post you admit that you are married, and then even further on admit (sort of) that you are not being completely forthcoming with her about the nature of your "long term relationship." And, through all of this, you've been ducking and dodging direct questions. If you really just want honest opinions, be forthcoming upfront.

Now to your question: Are you being played? How? You are not paying her for time OTC and there is no sex, so what's her angle? Would you stop paying her for sex ITC if she didn't have dinner with you? :P I suspect not.

The question that those of us around here have, however, is whether you should be taking her out OTC without letting her know that you are married. Even with the ITC p4p factored in, IMHO you should still tell her so that she can determine how much time she wants to spend with you "off the clock."

And btw, what exactly is your motivation for going to dinner with her when you are already having sex with her in the club?

swalbr
03-29-2011, 01:50 PM
Great, now comes the pièce de résistance: the wounded victim act. ::)

swal, you are being jumped on because you've been feeding out info. in dribs and drabs and otherwise acting dodgy. First, you never mentioned until recently that your "intense" times ITC were p4p sex. Later, you squeeze out a comment that you might have feelings for her and think that she might have them for you. In yet a later post you admit that you are married, and then even further on admit (sort of) that you are not being completely forthcoming with her about the nature of your "long term relationship." And, through all of this, you've been ducking and dodging direct questions. If you really just want honest opinions, be forthcoming upfront.

Now to your question: Are you being played? How? You are not paying her for time OTC and there is no sex, so what's her angle? Would you stop paying her for sex ITC if she didn't have dinner with you? :P I suspect not.

The question that those of us around here have, however, is whether you should be taking her out OTC without letting her know that you are married. Even with the ITC p4p factored in, IMHO you should still tell her so that she can determine how much time she wants to spend with you "off the clock."

And btw, what exactly is your motivation for going to dinner with her when you are already having sex with her in the club?

Ok. Fair enough. I didn't get into all the details because I really wasn't looking for feedback as to whether I was doing the moral/ethical thing. I already know the answer to that. I just wanted opinions as to whether someone could accept money from you and still genuinely "feel" something for you or is it all business. I mean she's been doing this for a long time. She isn't naive. I gave a few other details of our "relationship" so I could get opinions. My take is that she probably likes me as a good regular long term customer, but is not that serious or she would stop accepting money from me. I feel as long as she does I do not need to offer more about my personal life then I have to. As she is probably not seeing anyone on a steady basis in town it is probably fun for her to be taken out occasionally. Because our relationship has been based predominately at the club, I do not feel I need to be that forthcoming. Don't forget I have been paying good money to keep this fantasy going. As long as she's getting something from it, why rock the boat.

lemiwinks31
03-29-2011, 04:22 PM
Ok. Fair enough. I didn't get into all the details because I really wasn't looking for feedback as to whether I was doing the moral/ethical thing. I already know the answer to that. I just wanted opinions as to whether someone could accept money from you and still genuinely "feel" something for you or is it all business. I mean she's been doing this for a long time. She isn't naive. I gave a few other details of our "relationship" so I could get opinions. My take is that she probably likes me as a good regular long term customer, but is not that serious or she would stop accepting money from me. I feel as long as she does I do not need to offer more about my personal life then I have to. As she is probably not seeing anyone on a steady basis in town it is probably fun for her to be taken out occasionally. Because our relationship has been based predominately at the club, I do not feel I need to be that forthcoming. Don't forget I have been paying good money to keep this fantasy going. As long as she's getting something from it, why rock the boat.

You know who would have a good opinion on this whole...performing illegal sex acts with a stripper/prostitute in the strip club...and developing feelings for her, having an OTC relationship with her..while lying to her about being married...thing.

Your wife. She knows you better than we do...you could ask her what her thoughts are on this matter.

cherryblossomsinspring
03-29-2011, 05:24 PM
OOoooh!!!! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

cherryblossomsinspring
03-29-2011, 05:34 PM
I was following this new added thread and realized all of the info was way off.

1. I'm a single guy to I'm married
2. Just a peck on the cheek. to Having sex in the club
3. She's in a relationship to this last posts:
"As she is probably not seeing anyone on a steady basis in town it is probably fun for her to be taken out occasionally."

The original question was ? Am I getting played?
Answer :Nope I think you're playing this whole damn thread.

2nd Question: Can she develop real feelings for me?
Answer: Does she even really exist?

Question: If you cut a slit in a lemon, can you now call it a sour puss?
Answer: Was there a reason I typed that question? Answer b: I think it just seemed funny at the time.

rickdugan
03-29-2011, 05:45 PM
You know who would have a good opinion on this whole...performing illegal sex acts with a stripper/prostitute in the strip club...and developing feelings for her, having an OTC relationship with her..while lying to her about being married...thing.

Your wife. She knows you better than we do...you could ask her what her thoughts are on this matter.

Thank you, Father Lemiwinks, for that instructive sermon. ::)

In fact, I was so inspired by the thoughtful advice that you gave to swalbr that I myself am getting ready to rush home right now to repent and confess my own sins...

...or maybe not. ;)

safado
03-29-2011, 06:47 PM
I am getting a little confused here, let me see if I have this right.

If you are lying to a stripper about being married you are some kind of asshole, but if you are cheating on your wife (with strippers) it's cool, just boys being boys? LOL

rickdugan
03-29-2011, 07:41 PM
I am getting a little confused here, let me see if I have this right.

If you are lying to a stripper about being married you are some kind of asshole, but if you are cheating on your wife (with strippers) it's cool, just boys being boys? LOL

No, they are both bad, just in different ways.

firemaiden04
03-29-2011, 07:57 PM
I am surprised and amused that this thread has gone on for this long.