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tempest666
03-16-2011, 08:28 AM
all better bad mood

Roxychu
03-19-2011, 08:49 AM
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Kellydancer
03-19-2011, 11:44 AM
I think with fathers, if you're a good father you're unlikely to be able to be as attentive a boyfriend and while for some women (like my mum for example) who don't really want much attention that's fine but most women do need more maintenance than that.

Yeah my boyfriends twenty one and he isn't anti marriage so I figure he'd be open to it if we were still together at the right age, my ex was well anti marriage and it used to bug me a bit he suddenly became dead into marriage when we split though (over something unrelated) cos I guess he figured he'd rather have me theoretically forever than not at all. Unfortunately for him that wasn't what had been the deal breaker.

21 is still young and I've known many men who changed at that age. Now if he was say 41 and still anti marriage I would be leery, though I've seen men at that age change. I once had a guy tell me that most men will become for marriage with the right woman.

The father issue is many issues for me, not just attention. That is part of it though because while I am independent I want a guy I date at least once a week and many fathers can't offer that. Way too many cancel dates or have the kids on weekends so it's cramping my style as well. I don't want to go to Chuck E Cheese for a date. That's only a minor part of it and the major part is the whole financial reasons. I figure if I am going to spend money on kids I'd rather spend it on my niece or any kids I may have instead of kids I had no choice bringing into this world. I'd also rather him spend money on me than spend it on someone else. Not that I'm a golddigger, just that I have dated a few men who never had money so either we went cheap or I paid (which I don't mind).

lifetravelergirl
03-20-2011, 01:31 PM
Someone who is okay with my job. Deal breaker.

Roxychu
03-20-2011, 02:33 PM
Someone who is okay with my job. Deal breaker.

Deal breaker if they're okay with it?

lifetravelergirl
03-21-2011, 04:16 AM
I am not very happy with my job. But I work at a hole in the wall club with no cover where extras are the norm. I would be pretty unhappy if a partner was comfortable with me working at this club.

Actually I was seeing a guy who wanted to introduce me to his friends because he was so proud to be dating a stripper. He was real bummed out when I told him I was planning on quitting the stripping biz. Guess I am no longer *special* if I am not a stripper.

I am disappointed in him.

katerina29
03-21-2011, 06:12 AM
^^ I know what you mean when some men want to date you just because you're a dancer. I've had that before, it's a bit of status for them.

Kellydancer
03-21-2011, 11:00 AM
I too have dated men like that. I never would again because they only like you because of being a dancer. They have no intention of getting serious at all, for them it's the fantasy.

xGigi
03-21-2011, 11:14 AM
For the ladies who would leave a guy or have left a guy for not liking his dick, WE NEED details ;D How small was it
??


I once stopped seeing a guy who had the most teeny tiny dick ever. It was miniature, it was the size of a sharpie and looking back on it, its a little comical. His entire body was small too.

I can't imagine falling for a guy and then finding out about a penis that small. I would have been so bummed out!

about 5 inches long with an erection and it was skinny as fuck. I can't think of anything circumference-wise to compare it to but BLEGH!!! I couldn't choke on his cock if I tried.

my current boyfriend's cock is HUGE. I had a picture of it on my desktop for a while until a friend wanted to borrow my computer...hehehe...just looking at it makes me horny.

Bunny
03-21-2011, 09:13 PM
21 is still young and I've known many men who changed at that age. Now if he was say 41 and still anti marriage I would be leery, though I've seen men at that age change. I once had a guy tell me that most men will become for marriage with the right woman.

The father issue is many issues for me, not just attention. That is part of it though because while I am independent I want a guy I date at least once a week and many fathers can't offer that. Way too many cancel dates or have the kids on weekends so it's cramping my style as well. I don't want to go to Chuck E Cheese for a date. That's only a minor part of it and the major part is the whole financial reasons. I figure if I am going to spend money on kids I'd rather spend it on my niece or any kids I may have instead of kids I had no choice bringing into this world. I'd also rather him spend money on me than spend it on someone else. Not that I'm a golddigger, just that I have dated a few men who never had money so either we went cheap or I paid (which I don't mind).


Depends on the guy and the age of his kids. My ex's youngest was 14 and he had 4 kids. I really like his kids. I didn't feel like a mom role because they were self sufficient. I saw him several times a week and he was never even close to broke.

Roxychu
03-23-2011, 08:32 PM
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tempest666
03-23-2011, 10:41 PM
oh yeah and a garden that is not pruned .....

sunny,*
03-24-2011, 12:01 AM
^you mean, you don't enjoy those prickly little hairs that feel like RAZOR BLADES? hahaha. oh lord, why do some men do that.

it's a dealbreaker if he...
1) is rude to his mother, or is too much of a momma's boy.*
2) is too conservative or too freaky in bed.**
3) won't show affection, or is clingy.
4) lacks respect for himself, his stuff, and/or others.
5) acts too big for his britches, or has no self-confidence.
6) is ugly on the inside.



*it may seem trivial, but the relationship between a man and his mother can illustrate A LOT about how he might treat you in the future.

**oral, new positions, and new places to do it is a must-have; anal, whips, and other people is a must NOT have! i want a guy with experience and a good feel, but doesn't pressure me to try bondage/anal/groupsex/s&m/swinging/etc.

Vyanka
03-25-2011, 11:09 AM
As a side note and completely off topic, every single latina that I've met out here in PA is shacked up with a white guy. When I mention dating other races other than whites they recoil in horror and exclaim "No! Me gustan los gueros!" (No I like white guys)

But it also depends on the type of Latina. Puerto rican girls seem to go more for black guys where as girls of Mexican-AMERICAN descent like me (and I'm only half)as well as central and south Americans seem to prefer white guys.

Just an interesting observation.

Again this is my own personal experiences.

I'm PR and all of the men i've been with were white. Just happened to be that way. I like being the minority in the relationship. lol. I love dark haired men though, mediterranian look. <3

My deal breakers are:

~Has children. I don't want to deal with a baby mama.
~Alcoholics
~Does drugs
~Iresponsible
~STD/HIV
~Smokes
~Is unhealthy, eats like shit and doesn't exercise. I want a partner who loves to live healthy. I love a guy who cares about his health and well...wont get fat! Plus it motivates me too.
~Is a douchebag/cheats/lies/isn't loyal/has no respect for anyone...love a guy with manners
~Doesn't have goals & a career.
~Feels the need to hang out more with the buddies than me.::) I had an exbf like this. Good riddance.
~Bad hygeine.
~Is cheap. I HATE cheap fucks!
~Judgemental
~Is boring
~Isn't romantic
~Jealous/controlling machista
~Insecurity issues
~Prejudice/racist

I'm sure there is more....

MissLucy
03-25-2011, 07:08 PM
Lack of trust. It made me end two relationships because they did not trust me and they had absolutely NO reason to feel this way. Big time slap in the face.

ravenblack
03-27-2011, 08:25 PM
i wont date someone with aids or herpes or warts black men mexicans acually anything besides white sorry if i offend you but thats just me i wont date heavy drinkers guys who dont like my job or guys who are friends with there ex's

Kellydancer
03-27-2011, 09:41 PM
Depends on the guy and the age of his kids. My ex's youngest was 14 and he had 4 kids. I really like his kids. I didn't feel like a mom role because they were self sufficient. I saw him several times a week and he was never even close to broke.

Unfortunately the guys I've met all had small kids and lost of drama. Teenagers are hard to deal with so I wouldn't date a guy with them either. Then again I'm not even remotely interested in any guy with any kids, not even grown kids. The only exceptions I think I could handle would be a guy who adopted kids or raising nieces/nephews, etc. I might consider a widower but that would depend.

taylormadison
03-28-2011, 12:03 AM
Stained underwear :moon: (skid marks).

xGigi
03-28-2011, 12:28 PM
I don't like kids in general so I think a guy with kids would just stress me out!

amba
03-28-2011, 07:42 PM
for me, if a guy's too paranoid about my whereabouts, thats a deal breaker.
I remember a few years ago I met this guy who seemed great and was actually really quite charming.
We hit it off and started dating but within a couple weeks I suddenly saw a side to him that I didn't know existed. He would get paranoid and question everything I did and always ask where I was going to the point it became crazy and we had to break off.
Ofcourse a partner can ask about your whereabouts but when it tips into the point of paranoia, that's when its a deal breaker for me :(

tempest666
03-29-2011, 12:15 AM
i wont date someone with aids or herpes or warts black men mexicans acually anything besides white sorry if i offend you but thats just me i wont date heavy drinkers guys who dont like my job or guys who are friends with there ex's


are you sure you're not my long lost twin :D

flickad
03-30-2011, 03:06 AM
Anti-feminist or anti-choice are definite deal breakers. Very religious might also be one - really depends on the degree to which I have to hear about it. Also refusal to be monogamous and/or infidelity, being controlling, homophobia, racism, any kind of abuse, harassment or ill-treatment, animal abuse, refusal to accept me as I am, refusal to accept my cats and my friends. Plus being a parent of small children and/or desire for children. And yes, lying to me. Bad breath, also.

Kellydancer
03-30-2011, 12:35 PM
Anti-feminist or anti-choice are definite deal breakers. Very religious might also be one - really depends on the degree to which I have to hear about it. Also refusal to be monogamous and/or infidelity, being controlling, homophobia, racism, any kind of abuse, harassment or ill-treatment, animal abuse, refusal to accept me as I am, refusal to accept my cats and my friends. Plus being a parent of small children and/or desire for children. And yes, lying to me. Bad breath, also.

I agree with everything you said, though I am open to eventually having kids. I was just posting on another board about the sexism women face in the world and there is no way I would date a chauvinist pig. I'd rather be alone than with a loser like that. I tell guys I date that I will continue to work even if I have kids and deal with it. Some actually prefer that, which makes me feel good. Guys expecting me to stay at home will not work with me.

Bunny
04-14-2011, 09:47 PM
Unfortunately the guys I've met all had small kids and lost of drama. Teenagers are hard to deal with so I wouldn't date a guy with them either. Then again I'm not even remotely interested in any guy with any kids, not even grown kids. The only exceptions I think I could handle would be a guy who adopted kids or raising nieces/nephews, etc. I might consider a widower but that would depend.


yeah, I guess the older ones just cause different issues. Two of my ex's kids took my car without my permission one night for a joy ride when I was out, and one (or maybe more than one?) were stealing Vicodin and Xanax out of my purse.

Kellydancer
04-14-2011, 09:52 PM
Those are issues I hadn't even thought of, but yes those are definitely things I couldn't handle.

GiaXx
04-15-2011, 11:59 PM
I will say just this..I am only 21, but I'm "wise beyond my years" (don't mean to sound so cliche, but it's the truth). To be honest, when I read some of this stuff, it makes me feel a little sick to my stomach for reasons that I'll keep to myself (no need for unnecessary drama, it's just a forum!). If anyone here wants to find the right guy, both will have to bend just a little and be able to look past some faults...just try it, juuusstt a little bit. If you give a guy a chance (mainly for the more superficial ladies out there) and give him a chance to prove to you that he is a GOOD MAN (which is the most important TO ME in the end), then maybe you'll begin to see that all the stuff about looks and everything else...just isn't that important. When I started caring a little bit less about looks (I've never cared about money) and just gave a guy that didn't look so great a chance, I turned out to be really happy. Buutt anyway back to the topic...I just wanted to get that out there since I've just read a lot of negative things (not all, but a good bit). My main dealbreakers...(I'm sure there's one or two more..)

1. a liar: It would be easier to stay with someone who cheated on me and told me about it than it would for me to be with someone who feels like they have to cover things up, big and/or small (not saying that I would necessarily stay with either, but you get the point)

2. a freakn transformer!! (hee hee, like the cartoon!): call it what you want, poser, wannabe, whatever...to me it's just someone who can't be real with themselves..so they will never be real with you. Someone who will say one thing, then when opposed with a different opinion/fact/etc instantly changes their view of whatever the subject is. Also, a person who will act different around different crowds of people...damn chameleons...that is a trait of a loser who can't be trusted, bottom line, a real wuss!!

3. looks down on women or other people in general: I came from a really tough background and I don't look down on anyone because, like me, you never know what type of backing a person comes from and unless you're given a good reason, you should never look down on anyone (such as they dissed you or your family/friends for no real good reason or whatever). Someone who looks down on another because of what city they come from, how they grew up, how much money they, or their family, has etc is missing out on seeing how cool all different types of people can be. Man, woman, black, white, latina, asian, arabic, good life, bad life, rich, poor...it doesn't matter people can turn out to be pretty awesome when given a chance!

That's just me, I'm a really down to earth person. I try not to get too caught up in superficial things about a person, though there has to be some type of physical attraction to have anything else beyond just a friendship, just a couple of my thoughts on it!

Kellydancer
04-16-2011, 12:06 AM
I will say just this..I am only 21, but I'm "wise beyond my years" (don't mean to sound so cliche, but it's the truth). To be honest, when I read some of this stuff, it makes me feel a little sick to my stomach for reasons that I'll keep to myself (no need for unnecessary drama, it's just a forum!). If anyone here wants to find the right guy, both will have to bend just a little and be able to look past some faults...just try it, juuusstt a little bit. If you give a guy a chance (mainly for the more superficial ladies out there) and give him a chance to prove to you that he is a GOOD MAN (which is the most important TO ME in the end), then maybe you'll begin to see that all the stuff about looks and everything else...just isn't that important. When I started caring a little bit less about looks (I've never cared about money) and just gave a guy that didn't look so great a chance, I turned out to be really happy. Buutt anyway back to the topic...I just wanted to get that out there since I've just read a lot of negative things (not all, but a good bit). My main dealbreakers...(I'm sure there's one or two more..)

1. a liar: It would be easier to stay with someone who cheated on me and told me about it than it would for me to be with someone who feels like they have to cover things up, big and/or small (not saying that I would necessarily stay with either, but you get the point)

2. a freakn transformer!! (hee hee, like the cartoon!): call it what you want, poser, wannabe, whatever...to me it's just someone who can't be real with themselves..so they will never be real with you. Someone who will say one thing, then when opposed with a different opinion/fact/etc instantly changes their view of whatever the subject is. Also, a person who will act different around different crowds of people...damn chameleons...that is a trait of a loser who can't be trusted, bottom line, a real wuss!!

3. looks down on women or other people in general: I came from a really tough background and I don't look down on anyone because, like me, you never know what type of backing a person comes from and unless you're given a good reason, you should never look down on anyone (such as they dissed you or your family/friends for no real good reason or whatever). Someone who looks down on another because of what city they come from, how they grew up, how much money they, or their family, has etc is missing out on seeing how cool all different types of people can be. Man, woman, black, white, latina, asian, arabic, good life, bad life, rich, poor...it doesn't matter people can turn out to be pretty awesome when given a chance!

That's just me, I'm a really down to earth person. I try not to get too caught up in superficial things about a person, though there has to be some type of physical attraction to have anything else beyond just a friendship, just a couple of my thoughts on it!

What a great first post and welcome Gia! I agree with you about looks because some women don't give a less attractive man a chance. I've dated a few ugly men and some were nice, some were nasty. I am attracted to a type many other women don't like (nerds). I'm not overly crazy about dating an obese man but that's not so much superficial but because I am active and want an active guy. Also, I would be worried he would have health problems I couldn't deal with because of the weight. I'm talking really huge men, not guys 10-20 pounds overweight.