View Full Version : Slutty/trashy vs Sexually liberal....Can we have a mature discussion about this?
lol1337a
05-07-2011, 12:54 AM
mmm, so to mamy people appearance is linked to trashiness? I would not have expected that on this board. To me actions are probably the only thing that could make me make that judgement. Maybe disrespecting yourself and others around....dunno, still thinking on this one.
Unfortunately, my post was based upon correlations I've noticed between the women who I have heard being referred to as slutty/trashy/whatever and women who haven't. It's a shame, considering some of that comes from socioeconomic bias. For what it's worth, some of my closest friends growing up were ridiculously wealthy (last names you would know) and very smart/well-educated, so that particular social circle's norms have been as influential to my understanding of the label as my own upper middle class experiences have been. (BTW I met them at a fancypants summer camp for nerds that my non-rich parents decided to pay for.) As somewhat of an outsider to that group, I perceived a lot of elitism that they were completely unaware of. A few of them are promiscuous and have lots of "habits," but they get away with it because they're part of an intellectual and socio-economical elite that just happens to be "badass" or whatever. But promiscuous drug users who aren't part of their sense of the "elite" are said or implied to be increasingly trashier as the class gap widens.
In addition, another difference between this group's perceptions of sexually liberated and slutty/trashy comes down to the difference between fucking everyone in sight and getting high all the time with Henry Miller on your bookshelf, or doing the same exact things with romance novels you bought from a drugstore on your bookshelf.
Shit sucks, but it's what I've noticed. Worst thing is that the friends I'm talking about are generally awesome people. Shows how strongly and subtly class affects perception.
firemaiden04
05-07-2011, 06:05 PM
In addition, another difference between this group's perceptions of sexually liberated and slutty/trashy comes down to the difference between fucking everyone in sight and getting high all the time with Henry Miller on your bookshelf, or doing the same exact things with romance novels you bought from a drugstore on your bookshelf.
What about those of us who have both Henry Miller AND trashy romance novels? I keep my Tropic of Capricorn right next to my Nora Roberts, thank you very much. ;)
lol1337a
05-08-2011, 01:14 AM
^^That's why you're my kind of girl!!
lol1337a
05-08-2011, 01:16 AM
BTW, I lost some of those "elite" friends by becoming a stripper. Good riddance!
tempest666
05-08-2011, 01:31 AM
Sluts to me are the girls that do the following:
*hang all over another woman's SO.. (knowing that they are together) did this back in the day just to spite bitches I didn't like
*has sex with more than one guy in a 24hr period without a shower in the middle (unless it's a 3-some etc..) hmmmmmm ? can't recall probably did happen
*gives head to more than one guy in a 24hr period (also unless it's a 3 some etc..) and doesn't brush her teeth in between I can barely not brush my teeth after every meal, let alone sucking cock
*wearing skirts or dresses that don't cover your ass when you're in public and you're especially slutty in my book if you don't wear panties with said dresses/skirts. done that walking down the street in Albuquerque. Wore a see through black lace dress, stripper thong, knee high docs and fishnets....with electrical tape over my nipples.
* you don't respect yourself... you let random men touch you or manhandle you because you have low self esteem and it makes you feel better about yourself. what if they're hot, white, under 35 Scottish with lotsa tattoos and a big dick? :D
Now these are just my opinions. No one has to agree. And yes alot of these things may pertain to me at WORK but that's work...lol.. We are suppose to be "slutty" at work. If girls feel they have to act this way IRL or out at the club then I consider that slutty. I want to add that I am a reformed slut. So many of these did pertain to me at one time :P
Now back in the day I was def slutty trashy. I strung guys along, used old farts for $$$$$$, young studs for fucktoys, on occasion marrying up for $$$$ and ditching him as soon as I spent his $$$$.
Now I have been with the same penis for a year...I haven't even seen another man's penis or touched one. (Nasty old grey balls randomly being whipped out at work don't count, sorry Ralph)
kaiarose
05-08-2011, 11:22 AM
^LOL!!! Ok, there are exceptions to every rule ;) If I were to see you walking down the street in Alburquerque dressed as you were, I probably wouldn't think slutty. You have a certain image and attitude, so I'd just think it was a gothic thing..
As for the other things, I'm sure most of us have been slutty at some point in our lives and that's why we do what we do.. It takes a certain kind of person to be able to be that girl that gets naked in front of many men.
lol1337a
05-08-2011, 02:16 PM
Yeah, I love and embrace my formerly trashy/slutty side and I would NEVER take any of it back! I'm pretty conventional now, but I lived such an exciting life and would never have learned half the things I know about myself and the world if I hadn't. It lost me some friends and caused relationship drama along the way, but I lived out all of my fantasies and expanded my mind in a great way thanks to certain chemicals "good girls" don't try! Luckily my current boyfriend was a bit like I was when he was younger and loves me all the more for it!
SlutGoddess
04-19-2012, 10:04 AM
i am probably what many people by the books would consider slutty/trashy. im from new jersey, i like to party... a lot, the number of my sexual partners is still in the double digits but is definitely approaching the triple digit range, i have a tramp stamp, i have a lot of one night stands-- yes many of them did involve alcohol, i yell and laugh loudly, my taste in clothes is what you would probably consider to be tacky, and when i wear makeup i like my eye liner dark.
but then again, say what you will about me but somehow i have very little trouble getting respect from people. the fact that people work hard to distinguish a definition between sexually liberal and trashy means that people are looking to feel that they are somehow better than much of the population. Im not the judgemental type and i am very happy with myself... i dont need to place myself in a category that is somehow better than people who participate in the same behaviors that i do to feel good about myself.
You go girl! You're awesome!
camille27
04-19-2012, 10:22 AM
i am so in love with this sentence. i, too, am from new jersey and wasn't aware this was an accepted excuse for acting a fool. i have been using "since i got back from vegas" but i am going to switch to "i'm from new jersey" instead. there's just something very....i dunno. it makes me tingly.
not only that, i am from the shore.
im from new jersey.
SlutGoddess
04-19-2012, 10:57 AM
I get where Princessjas is going and I agree. I have always consider myself somewhat sexually liberated in the past and have a friend who I consider slutty. The difference to me is that my friend would sleep with pretty much any guy who wanted her, whereas I had standards to some extent. In her case this was because she was raped by her dad so she had no self esteem.
In the past, I was far more open to sex. While I generally didn't sleep around, I had several FWBs in between relationships. We knew that while we liked each other a serious relationship was never a possibility. I did however unintentionally hurt a few guys who thought we were an item but I had told them upfront this would never happen. Years later though I looked back and some of my escapades and realize that in some instances they weren't good ideas and that I was often hiding the fact that I wanted a serious relationship but wanted sex too. Then I made the vow to abstain from sex until it's a serious relationship. However, I can see myself keeping a FWB while I search for a great guy.
I have seen the types of girls that are like my friend and these are the ones we often see on Maury. For those who say I judge unwed parenthood, the reason is because I've seen far too many cases of girls sleeping with any guy. I blame this though on society that pushes the idea that everyone should have sex with everyone else.
Don't guys sleep with pretty much any girl who wants them? That's still setting up a double standard, you're just shifting it over to FWB.
Society definitely doesn't push the idea that everyone should fuck everyone else. Girls who sleep around are put on talk shows to be spectacles and objects of scorn or ridicule. Society pressures everyone but especially women to be monogamous.
The lines are blurred between "willing to bang anyone" and "selects a few FWB". Suppose someone generally selects FWBs but has a couple one night stands? Or suppose someone becomes FWB with anyone?
Sophia_Starina
04-19-2012, 11:02 AM
Im a Jersey Girl too...
Keepin' it Classy!
Melonie
04-19-2012, 12:27 PM
The opposite would be sexually liberated, they know what they like and getting it is in the plan. Partners are selected or pushed aside for their qualities. Opportunities and risks are not left to chance.
Sarge, I can relate to this completely ! And frequently do LOL !
i am going to switch to "i'm from new jersey" instead. there's just something very....i dunno. it makes me tingly
Im a Jersey Girl too... Keepin' it Classy!
It's ridiculous how much supposed difference a mile ( across the river ) makes !!!
JayATee
04-19-2012, 02:39 PM
i am so in love with this sentence. i, too, am from new jersey and wasn't aware this was an accepted excuse for acting a fool. i have been using "since i got back from vegas" but i am going to switch to "i'm from new jersey" instead. there's just something very....i dunno. it makes me tingly.
not only that, i am from the shore.
Fist Pump.... ;)
SlutGoddess
04-19-2012, 03:46 PM
Ok I think both are the same, just one sounds nicer then the other. So a sexually liberal person is actually a slut. I don't see a difference here. If you're fucking random people whether it's because you had too much to drink or did too many drugs while wearing stripper type clothing then you're a slut. If you're wearing a business suit and you've fucked your boss, a few of your co workers and the mail man then you're still a slut. It doesn't matter to me what you wear , how you talk, or what your social standing is. If you're fucking around like it's a race then yes you're a slut.
I recall a little while back my ex and I getting into a heated debate on this topic. He held women in high regard that dressed in the latest designer wear and had expensive tastes but would put out like they were on a time line being drunk, sober or even high. The other women that dressed trashy and were looking forward to fucking him , he stubbed his nose at thinking that they probably had STd's . When I broke things down to him , he got upset because I was basically telling him that he didn't go up in class for fucking these women, they were still trashy ass women from the start regardless of what they drove or how much money they made per year.
Now the ones that put a price tag on their sexual encounters, well now those women my hat goes off to.
I wonder are all of these women truly getting off? How many men did they have to sleep with to find 1 that lasted long enough? Do they all come in 2 m-5 mins? If so then they may require less from a guy. I'm pretty sure many guys love sluts because they don't have to do much to get laid and what guy doesn't want to get laid with ease?
I do feel that some are not doing it because they truly enjoy sex but because they connect it to something else. Some have issues with connecting how many partners they have to how much they were loved or wanted. This I've seen is a growing problem. Guys benefit from getting over on these women with low self esteem and listening to my ex's sexual stories with these women seemed great. But after i dug alittle deeper the truth about being raped or molested surfaced which brought to light their sexual behavior.
There's also the power play feature as well. Many women feel empowered to take a a man to bed and fuck him and feel yeah I did that. I recall my ex's partner was the biggest slut i've heard of. She would fuck or suck atleast 3-4 guys a week and talk about it like a typical guy would. Even my ex thought she was gross which I thought to be odd because I'm pretty sure prior to our relationship he was doing the same thing.
The double standard sucks but I think it's also because in sex women do have much more to loose then some juices. If she gets pregnant it's abortion or it's having the child. There really isn't another way of looking at it. So if a woman goes out and doesn't actually worry about this or is ok with having Daddy A , B and C. then fine . But I wouldn't want to fuck someone that doesn't want me , only to have a child that grows up knowing that they were an accident or a mistake in some way. I would feel heart broken if my child ever felt that way.
I like when men try. If you're a slut they don't really have to work hard at anything. And what man really values something that's easy? Most don't. So I like a man to break his neck trying to get my attention , showing me that he's putting the work in and doesn't feel he's just going to get laid just because I have a hole somewhere down there.
Also if sex was viewed exactly the same by both men and women... most of us wouldn't have jobs at all. There would be no need to go to SC, Webcam, Hookers, Escorts Phone sex etc. He could just knock on the next door and say hey wanna fuck? Girl's response would be sure I'm ready let's do it.
Guys that typically get laid with ease do get bored. That's when you see them trying to raise the bar and go for a woman that shuts them down. They keep trying and trying to get in this woman's pants. You would think now why would he do that when he could easily find a slut that will fuck him all day? Because some men still like the hunt , the chase and the challenge.
So whether you're doing it just to do it or because you come as fast as a man does then hell more power to you! Just please be careful, protect yourself from std's and unwanted children. If you're getting paid ie Whore. prostitute, escort.. Great! Get your money!
My motto is why give something away for free that you can sell? But others may feel being generous is even better. So everyone will do what everyone will do . There's no wrong way or right way. It's just YOUR WAY OR MY WAY.
Why give it up when you can sell it? Are you aware that prostitution and "escorting" are ILLEGAL??
I have done both slept around and fucked for money. I prefer sleeping around. For one thing I feel safer. I'm not gonna get arrested, I'm not doing it with a perfect stranger who could be a cop or a brutal rapist or deliberately trying to give me AIDS or something. Another thing is when you're getting paid you're expected to do the work whereas when you're sleeping around you can just lay back and enjoy it, but if you choose to put in work the guys really really appreciate it. Another thing about sleeping around is that you can choose people regardless of income, just based on their looks or swag. When you're selling sex all you're thinking about is how much money the guy has. He could look ugly or be old or something but if he has money you're gonna do it. Meanwhile if you fuck for free you can pick a guy who may not have much money but who's hot, older but not too old, virile, and manly.
Yes I'm a slut and a whore. And I'm proud of it. But I'm more proud to be a slut than a whore. And I'm better able to explain why.
I don't believe in the 1950s rules, playing games, and repressing my desires just to please a man.
Also you say guys like the hunt and don't respect that which comes easy to them. What about gay men?? They get it whenever they want. But they respect each other. That is as it should be.
SlutGoddess
04-19-2012, 04:27 PM
Fist Pump.... ;)
OMG OMG! Now I LOVE chicks and dudes from Jersey!
JayATee
04-19-2012, 04:31 PM
OMG OMG! Now I LOVE chicks and dudes from Jersey!
I'm not from Jersey. I'm from NYC. I was just making a joke.
SlutGoddess
04-19-2012, 06:09 PM
Am I sexually liberated/classy?
-Went to Ivy
-Live in an upper class neighborhood next to Tiffany's, Ralph Lauren, and Louis Vuitton
-Dress discreetly
-Don't drink often
-Was a 22 year old virgin
Slutty/trashy?
-Stripper
-Have prostituted
-Drink to get drunk
-Bang guys and girls in lower class brackets
-Have fucked 46 guys, mostly for free
I agree with Athena. I don't see any difference between sexually liberated and slutty. I'm sexually liberated AND slutty. A slut is a slut is a slut. I see nothing wrong with being a slut. I don't remember ever finding that word offensive.
Ho on the other hand kinda sucks. Hos get paid but who wants to be called a ho much less come to terms with the fact that one is a ho? After all, if it's a fact it's a fact. Besides, being a ho is illegal!
I've been both and would be a slut any day over a whore or ho. I would love to be like Samantha from Sex and the City and have that six figure career and just sleep around for free.
Being in the sex industry is much harder than being, say, a lawyer. It's much easier to sit at a desk and read or sit at a computer and type or send a fax than it is to maintain a good body, climb a pole, and dance in six to eight inch stilettos or have excellent skills in the bedroom, do special tricks, whatever. I can't believe many people think strippers are lazy! Or that it's easy money!
Kellydancer
04-19-2012, 07:50 PM
Don't guys sleep with pretty much any girl who wants them? That's still setting up a double standard, you're just shifting it over to FWB.
Society definitely doesn't push the idea that everyone should fuck everyone else. Girls who sleep around are put on talk shows to be spectacles and objects of scorn or ridicule. Society pressures everyone but especially women to be monogamous.
The lines are blurred between "willing to bang anyone" and "selects a few FWB". Suppose someone generally selects FWBs but has a couple one night stands? Or suppose someone becomes FWB with anyone?
No, there is a difference. People who are more selective know what they want, whereas people who just sleep with anyone usually have issues, like my friend.
firemaiden04
04-19-2012, 10:22 PM
Why was this thread resurrected?
ArmySGT.
04-20-2012, 06:09 AM
Can you switch back and forth? Like slutty / trashy at a rock concert and sexually liberal in a martini bar?
Is the choice an environmental and contextual one not just throbbing testes or ovaries?
cherryblossomsinspring
04-20-2012, 07:55 AM
Why give it up when you can sell it? Are you aware that prostitution and "escorting" are ILLEGAL??
I have done both slept around and fucked for money. I prefer sleeping around. For one thing I feel safer. I'm not gonna get arrested, I'm not doing it with a perfect stranger who could be a cop or a brutal rapist or deliberately trying to give me AIDS or something. Another thing is when you're getting paid you're expected to do the work whereas when you're sleeping around you can just lay back and enjoy it, but if you choose to put in work the guys really really appreciate it. Another thing about sleeping around is that you can choose people regardless of income, just based on their looks or swag. When you're selling sex all you're thinking about is how much money the guy has. He could look ugly or be old or something but if he has money you're gonna do it. Meanwhile if you fuck for free you can pick a guy who may not have much money but who's hot, older but not too old, virile, and manly.
Yes I'm a slut and a whore. And I'm proud of it. But I'm more proud to be a slut than a whore. And I'm better able to explain why.
I don't believe in the 1950s rules, playing games, and repressing my desires just to please a man.
Also you say guys like the hunt and don't respect that which comes easy to them. What about gay men?? They get it whenever they want. But they respect each other. That is as it should be.
Whoa a resurrected thead:) Nice.
Ok Yes I know paying for sex is illegal but we do have a whole part of this forum about those activities right. Guess you can't get locked up if you don't get caught.
I'm not an escort but more power to the ones that can get paid to do it.
Now the whole gay men thing? Come on now. They are men. Men of either orientation are still men and they are given pats on the back for getting that ass whether it be behind some balls or a vagina. They say gay men have more sex because it's easy to find willing partners. Straight men not so much. Why would gay men loose respect for one another? They are probably giving each other pats on the ass for them both getting laid.
Now the 1950 rules , playing games repressing desires again you may not think like the 1950's but if men still didn't see women the way they do NONE OF US WOULD HAVE JOBS. See how that happens. Men seek out vagina in all forms and are willing to pay for a dance, a glance and a chance. I didn't make the rules I'm just playing by them.
We're in the women's sexual liberation time frame but is that hook up going to cover your obgyn appt when he slips his dick in your back hole by mistake? Oooh no? How about condoms? You buying those too? What happens when you get knocked up? You paying for the Plan B or paying for that abortion? Sounds really fuck-ing costly to me. Ohh and what does the guy loose out on? Some sleep? Psssh. pleasssssse. Sex is a job not an adventure and the more women get tired of pulling unwanted babies out of their ass, dealing with another infection from some sex act gone wrong with the "sex buddy" they will rethink if it's better to double up on some AA batteries and get shit done the easy way.
Fact: Women can catch STI's and STD's easier and faster then men can , just by the way we're built internally.
Fact: You can pick 30 men to fuck and maybe 5 may know what they are doing. Maybe you have better odds than most women.
Fact: Only 25% of women get off through vaginal intercourse based on a comprehensive study spanning 80 years : This is regardless of the man's size, length of intercourse, or how she feels about the man in general. So wait a man's penis isn't really that necessary for an orgasm? Who knew lol. So why are so many women out there still fucking them for free? Maybe because even if it's not the 1950's ,society is still telling them they still need dick. Ohh and what's really bad about that? Well they are actually listening. Oh well...
Fact : 5% of women don't get off at all. Ouch! Guess what? These women are still having sex though. Maybe they should try camming ??
Not every woman is having sex because she is going for an amazing orgasm, they know it's not going to happen. Some just want to be held after the guy uses their body like pin cushions, others have issues wanting to reassure themselves that they are attractive and wanted and others are trying to experiment and find that guy that will make them pop for the first time. Sadly these last ones will go through alot of people before they find the right one. Others like being in a submissive role and will play out this fantasy of being controlled by a man. Some think that if they tell a man they want sex that they are some how in control even though they aren't getting off then either, others don't want to refuse the man, because "he may not call me" or if I don't sleep with him then he will not like me anymore etc etc there are all types of reasons but most of these women are not having these toe curling orgasms. They are just running through men being used but aren't getting a fee. Sex in most cases is never a fair exchange and mothers have been telling that to their daughters for time immemorial. How about we listen?
My point is there is more to loose than gain so ...
With all of that? Men got it made! Again what are the benefits of being a slut again? I still haven't heard that yet.
I want to get off easy, I don't want to BE EASY.
***Runs to find Hitachi wand*** ( no batteries needed) yes!
jekka
04-20-2012, 10:13 AM
Everyone's sex life is their own business, but I try not to befriend "sluts" because the ones I know have no qualms about dressing inapporpriately while in public with me, and have no problem with seducing their friend's man (no respect for others.) They can talk all day about how they wouldn't betray me, but that is because I don't have something they want at the moment. Generally, the sluts I know have poor impulse control and no problem using people, and that is a deeper character defect IMO.
One "slut" I know likes to keep many partners because she claims she has a high sex drive and needs a different man for each sexual positon because one man can't provide all she wants sexually. She is by no means a victim, and would be considered by some to be sexually liberated. But objectifying and dehumanizing other people, something men do to women all the time, is limiting for oneself and the one objectified. It is just a novelty that it is a woman doing the objectifying. If someone is only a body part or a sexual maneuver to you, you are missing out on a lot not just in the sexual experience, but in human interaction.
I have a very healthy sex drive, but practice self-restraint because I would rather have the fantasy than the potential problems/drama/stigma of promiscuity, and I am more protective of my body. I'm not attracted to that many people, either. Most people in general gross me out, are too pasty, have flacid muscles, etc. It's quality over quantity.
I'd like to add, why the hell do I know about these girls' sex lives in the first place? They feel the need to advertise that they sleep around to me and others. What's the point in that?
SlutGoddess
04-20-2012, 02:50 PM
Whoa a resurrected thead:) Nice.
Ok Yes I know paying for sex is illegal but we do have a whole part of this forum about those activities right. Guess you can't get locked up if you don't get caught.
I'm not an escort but more power to the ones that can get paid to do it.
Now the whole gay men thing? Come on now. They are men. Men of either orientation are still men and they are given pats on the back for getting that ass whether it be behind some balls or a vagina. They say gay men have more sex because it's easy to find willing partners. Straight men not so much. Why would gay men loose respect for one another? They are probably giving each other pats on the ass for them both getting laid.
Now the 1950 rules , playing games repressing desires again you may not think like the 1950's but if men still didn't see women the way they do NONE OF US WOULD HAVE JOBS. See how that happens. Men seek out vagina in all forms and are willing to pay for a dance, a glance and a chance. I didn't make the rules I'm just playing by them.
We're in the women's sexual liberation time frame but is that hook up going to cover your obgyn appt when he slips his dick in your back hole by mistake? Oooh no? How about condoms? You buying those too? What happens when you get knocked up? You paying for the Plan B or paying for that abortion? Sounds really fuck-ing costly to me. Ohh and what does the guy loose out on? Some sleep? Psssh. pleasssssse. Sex is a job not an adventure and the more women get tired of pulling unwanted babies out of their ass, dealing with another infection from some sex act gone wrong with the "sex buddy" they will rethink if it's better to double up on some AA batteries and get shit done the easy way.
Fact: Women can catch STI's and STD's easier and faster then men can , just by the way we're built internally.
Fact: You can pick 30 men to fuck and maybe 5 may know what they are doing. Maybe you have better odds than most women.
Fact: Only 25% of women get off through vaginal intercourse based on a comprehensive study spanning 80 years : This is regardless of the man's size, length of intercourse, or how she feels about the man in general. So wait a man's penis isn't really that necessary for an orgasm? Who knew lol. So why are so many women out there still fucking them for free? Maybe because even if it's not the 1950's ,society is still telling them they still need dick. Ohh and what's really bad about that? Well they are actually listening. Oh well...
Fact : 5% of women don't get off at all. Ouch! Guess what? These women are still having sex though. Maybe they should try camming ??
Not every woman is having sex because she is going for an amazing orgasm, they know it's not going to happen. Some just want to be held after the guy uses their body like pin cushions, others have issues wanting to reassure themselves that they are attractive and wanted and others are trying to experiment and find that guy that will make them pop for the first time. Sadly these last ones will go through alot of people before they find the right one. Others like being in a submissive role and will play out this fantasy of being controlled by a man. Some think that if they tell a man they want sex that they are some how in control even though they aren't getting off then either, others don't want to refuse the man, because "he may not call me" or if I don't sleep with him then he will not like me anymore etc etc there are all types of reasons but most of these women are not having these toe curling orgasms. They are just running through men being used but aren't getting a fee. Sex in most cases is never a fair exchange and mothers have been telling that to their daughters for time immemorial. How about we listen?
My point is there is more to loose than gain so ...
With all of that? Men got it made! Again what are the benefits of being a slut again? I still haven't heard that yet.
I want to get off easy, I don't want to BE EASY.
***Runs to find Hitachi wand*** ( no batteries needed) yes!
So you support the double standard. Unbelievable.
First of all, I have orgasms each and every time I have sex, regardless of who the guy is. I have orgasms from vaginal intercourse exclusively as well as clitoral stimulation. For me those are two different types of orgasms. I don't get orgasms from vibrators or dildos. So what do you expect me to do?
It sounds like you want to make a living at the expense of other women who for one reason or another would rather make a living differently. They may be too old, too fat, more skilled at something else, etc. They may want to do it but find they're unable to. Everyone can enter the sex industry but few are able to make a lot of money. But yet you want them to repress themselves so you can make a living off of men. Well it's a myth that if all women had sex for free there would be no strippers or prostitutes. After all, there are GAY strippers, gay escorts, gay prostitutes, etc. So can you stop manipulating people to make money? Why not just live and let live?
Gay men are called faggots for having sex with men, so the whole notion that because they're men they'll get pats on the back is a fallacy. But assuming they don't: why can't women get pats on the back for getting laid same as men?? Why do they have to lose people's respect?
People like you are the reason why I can not venture out into the world without feeling fear and anguish and hearing voices. People like you are the reason why I starve myself to feel a sense of control over something. People like you are the reason why I have to forfeit the joy of motherhood, so my daughter won't have to suffer like I suffer. It's really sad that you can approach this so selfishly, not caring about how it impacts other people.
After I read "How Many Cocks Have You Had" I thought this was a forum of strippers but also of promiscuous women who could support each other like an online sorority. Boy was I naive.
Clearly it's a bad idea to prostitute or escort because it's illegal. Saying there are some who don't get caught doesn't take away from this fact. But now I have been brainwashed to believe that I can't be like Samantha from Sex and City and just fuck for fun, but that I have to get paid for it, which kinda sucks.
Not trying to sound unfriendly though :)
ArmySGT.
04-20-2012, 10:13 PM
I'm not from Jersey. I'm from NYC. I was just making a joke.
http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j218/ArmySGT_photos/Altworldcats.gif
cherryblossomsinspring
04-20-2012, 10:48 PM
If you really feel that these double standards are such a burden than you should quit taking money from sex industry work. I mean what's wrong with men for paying to see your naked body right? That's got to be dumb of them huh? Why pay when they can get a slut to fuck them for free? We really can't have it both ways and still bank in this industry.
I'll keep the double standards and make my money. Dick is really too easy to come by but money isn't. I'll take the cash. You can take the free dick. Sounds fair?
From what I've seen in the sex industry. Women may work and make money but for some reason many women do this rebound effect of giving their pussy away like it's going out of style. The problem with this is self worth. They feel they weren't worth the money and now have this desire to give back in "leg openings". I've seen it from some of my dancer friends in the past. Guy does something nice and they fuck him and they give the excuse of well he did x for me. Some small token of kindness that didn't require being on all fours but she jumps on him to "repay" him anyways.
Men still like the hunt. The ones they do the most , women generally make them work for it. It's like throwing meat in a lion's cage. Some will turn it down because they'll wonder who else has gotten it. Now he's thinking what is she trying to give him. Some men will use you but what's that? Who wants to be used like that? You may get off with every man but again do you really need dick that bad? Women are trying to hard too prove that they can be men. When he's pushing babies out of his cock or bleeding out it then maybe we'll be equal. I personally love the way things are. Keeps me employed because men will pay.
Again this industry only exists because men view us the way they do. You want to change that? Then quit now and go start marching topless down the streets of NYC. Btw being topless is legal but how many women do you see walking around this way? Go google it. It's the Law!
Kellydancer
04-21-2012, 12:27 AM
^^^
On the mark. I have noticed everything you mentioned and yes when you make men beg for it they want it more and will give more. Like when I date I noticed when I don't sleep with a guy he will wine and dine me but when I give it up too soon he loses interest. Same thing with dancing.
Btw I really wish being topless if one was a fat man was illegal. Yuck.
missykrissy
04-21-2012, 04:14 AM
bwahaha
I totally agree w Cherry.
The whole idea of us being sexually liberated and equal kinda runs counter to what we do.
Stripping means there is something about me guys want and can't have and they have to pay. That's not a very liberated way to think.
So we're not really equal.
JessicaCM
04-21-2012, 05:31 AM
What are your opinions on this topic?
Personally I have known sexually liberal people who have had very few to many, many partners and never looked down on any of them (I am one who has had limited partners due to several bad experiences). I have also known slutty/trashy people who have had only a few partners and those of course that have had many.
It's all about your POV, responsibility, and why you are having sex to me. Sexually open/liberal people are responsible and pick their partners carefully, because they want that particular person. It's not a "yeah, you'll do'' sort of deal generally. Slutty/trashy is more people who do things they don't really want to in order to be seen a certain way or due to low self esteem (I feel really bad for these people though). Drugs and alcohol and unsafe sex are often involved. These people I'll admit, I have difficulty respecting. Accidental prenancies and disease seem to be rampant among this group while they are nearly non-existent in the group I consider "sexually liberal.''
Do you see a difference in the two? Does it make me the same as a drunk club kid picking up a random stranger and banging them without a condom if I have sex with two people I care deeply for? Not in my opinion, but I want to hear how others view this. I'm especially interested in the difference between bisexual women vs straight, men vs women, and how age and dating experience influence view points.
Pls don't be rude. I'd really like to hear how people feel about this topic without the thread being closed because of fighting.
I agree there is a difference between someone who has a few sexual partners vs. slutty/trashy. Having standards is the difference. A slutty/trashy person just fucks to fuck even though they may not be remotely attracted to the other individual or may be to drunk/high to use better judgement.
However, whether you fuck one person and are not bf/gf or married or a thousand, wrong is wrong in many people's eyes. You can be with one person (even married) and still catch something while the promiscuous person doesn't. You never know.
JessicaCM
04-21-2012, 05:40 AM
i consider myself -- sexually liberal & by that i mean if i feel sexual attraction to some1 i am open to having sex with them if the opportunity arises. I currently have many lovers i have casual sex with, had many nsa lovers in my past, & i'm open to having more. I am also open to many sexual things others consider taboo from group sex to sm & so on. I am a lesbian in the lifestyle who works as a stripper & pt as a dom. I am also regularly tested & std/sti neg. Now i do have a sky high sex drive & others might see me as a slut, but i feel that is just a label often misused to repress female sexuality that i enjoy reclaiming as a sexually empowered woman that embraces my sexuality & desires to the fullest.
Now there is a difference between some1 like myself the truly enjoys sex & those that disrespect themselves & others -- who uses sex for popularity, attention, to create drama, lie & cheat , do things they rather not for some1 else's sexual desire, get taken advantage of while drunk or drugged, get pimped out by other person, is spreading stds, not using protection or birth control, do not get tested, do it for drugs or to continue other self abusive habits & so on.
i completely agree with this view!!!
SlutGoddess
04-21-2012, 04:32 PM
If you really feel that these double standards are such a burden than you should quit taking money from sex industry work. I mean what's wrong with men for paying to see your naked body right? That's got to be dumb of them huh? Why pay when they can get a slut to fuck them for free? We really can't have it both ways and still bank in this industry.
I'll keep the double standards and make my money. Dick is really too easy to come by but money isn't. I'll take the cash. You can take the free dick. Sounds fair?
From what I've seen in the sex industry. Women may work and make money but for some reason many women do this rebound effect of giving their pussy away like it's going out of style. The problem with this is self worth. They feel they weren't worth the money and now have this desire to give back in "leg openings". I've seen it from some of my dancer friends in the past. Guy does something nice and they fuck him and they give the excuse of well he did x for me. Some small token of kindness that didn't require being on all fours but she jumps on him to "repay" him anyways.
Men still like the hunt. The ones they do the most , women generally make them work for it. It's like throwing meat in a lion's cage. Some will turn it down because they'll wonder who else has gotten it. Now he's thinking what is she trying to give him. Some men will use you but what's that? Who wants to be used like that? You may get off with every man but again do you really need dick that bad? Women are trying to hard too prove that they can be men. When he's pushing babies out of his cock or bleeding out it then maybe we'll be equal. I personally love the way things are. Keeps me employed because men will pay.
Again this industry only exists because men view us the way they do. You want to change that? Then quit now and go start marching topless down the streets of NYC. Btw being topless is legal but how many women do you see walking around this way? Go google it. It's the Law!
Did you read what I last wrote? You don't have to make money off men at the expense of slutty women. After all there are GAY prostitutes, GAY escorts, gay strippers, gay porn stars etc. in spite of the fact that most gay men are promiscuous and will give it up for free!
I don't see giving it up for free as a matter of self-esteem. It's a matter of not wanting to break the law first of all. It's also a matter of not wanting to be raped, get AIDS, get beaten, or get robbed. But it's also a matter of knowing what you're good at. Not everyone is meant to be in the sex industry. Some people are meant to use their brains or other talents like artistic skills. Some women are too old, too fat, even too dark. Not everyone knows how to do pole tricks. Not everyone knows how to hustle. The sex industry is essentially sales work, which is why the amount of money one can make varies so greatly. Meanwhile, you can make 500k a year as an investment banker, 300k a year as a corporate lawyer, or you can work from home, or you can contribute something to society, etc. So if you'd rather do that then why should you repress yourself? Yes I'm really that horny and yes I really need dick that bad. I have slept with 46 guys mostly for free and I make no apologies about that.
Everyone knows stripping is a stepping stone to something else. Many of us are paying for school. We plan to do other things. I plan to be a freelance writer. I assume you plan to do something too, and you will have to, because nature will cruelly sweep you out of the game. So what are you gonna do once you're no longer getting paid for it? Masturbate? Be a good girl and settle down so that other women can get paid for it? I'm sure they'll thank you for your service, because this world really gives a damn. ;)
cherryblossomsinspring
04-22-2012, 02:15 AM
What you think ugly ass gay men don't exist? If there are ugly ass straight men there are equally ugly ass gay men. I mean what does the man that's been married to a woman do when he wants to fuck a guy? Go to the local rainbow bar? Get real. He's getting a gay escort just like a married straight man will get a female escort.
You keep brining up gay men as if they are your role models or something. Again they are men. You say you may not want to catch AIDS but guess what? Your role models ie gay men are the highest among AIDS infections and many women are getting AIDS from gay men that appear to be straight with them. I guess we can call them closet cases or gay today or even down low.
Also on rape. Most of the women that are or raped have done so by people that were friends, family or just the guy that waves hello. It's called aquaintance rape and it goes unreported because the victim knows her predator. Even the girl that thought she was sexy in that short skirt was raped by the asshole that said " she was asking for it". Also you forgot the girls that get shit faced either on drugs or alcohol or both and get date raped. They blame themselves for being drunk or high so it generally goes unreported. Do I really need to go on with that? These acts of violence are not really about sex it's about power and dominance of the sexes.
Now you brought up not wanting to break the law yet you have whored out before so the last time I checked the law didn't change then and it still hasn't changed now. Again if you're going to give it up, best get something for it.
" Some women are too old, too fat, even too dark. Not everyone knows how to do pole tricks. Not everyone knows how to hustle. The sex industry is essentially sales work, which is why the amount of money one can make varies so greatly."
----Did you actually write that sober? Because I hope the hell half the site doesn't read it.
Too old, Too fat and even Too dark? Really? lol You forget how vast the sex industry really is and I've seen women under the BBW category bank , Dark women bank and some of these women that really put us all to shame have many of us by 20+ years.
Many women are not doing pole tricks and still bank. So it may be a sales industry but you are still selling YOU. Can't do that if you're not there and you sure as hell can't do it if men are not buying. Remember they need to value that slit between our legs as much as we do for it to be marketable. If we don't value it then we should pack it up and log the hell off.
cherryblossomsinspring
04-22-2012, 02:44 AM
Continued...
You needing dick and sleeping with 46 men doesn't require an apology. I will apologize that you sucked in to the new bs trend under the guise of ( sexual equalty) which was really put in place by men to equal out women working and bring in their own money. Oops yeah if women are working as hard as men now, what do they need them for? If 70% of women don't need dick to get off, again what do they need men for? Guess men need to tell women dumb shit again that only a few will follow and now they'll get them paying for their in the bedroom fuck ups! Score! "Nope I didn't pay for that abortion and guess what? she fucked me again before her pussy healed, how cool is that?" "Nope she didn't get off but hell she's all liberated now so she's just doing it just to do it. Why am I going to turn that down?"
I don't recall ever requesting an apology from you. What you do with your pussy is really your business. I was mearly giving women who value themselves a ... "glad you didn't fall for the latest hype congrats". There will always be sluts in the world which is a cool balance. Because when guys get tired of fucking something every man can have they will want something maybe they can't.
My point was you can't bitch about the plight of inequality and then shove your pussy in a guy's face and tell him to pay for it. You want equality then go for it. No one is holding you back. Just don't be upset when you go topless and some guy pulls out his dick and starts rubbing it because he's still apparently caught in the 50's. I mean that's so unfair right? Ohh wait we can make him pay for it. Nah that wouldn't be equal huh?
Ohh and the future of what a woman does when she decides to hang up her gstring and stilletos is another thing. We all may venture out of the industry at some point but some women know how to reinvent themselves time and time again. They may make less or more but they still keep things fresh and guess what? They are no longer youngsters. I wish I could be that badass when I get to their age. Only time will tell.
Settling down? Do you not realize many women in the industry have children? They are able to do both and they aren't missing a beat.
Masturbation is making love to yourself. If you feel YOU are not good enough then I guess that brings us back to that self esteem comment.
As you see the industry as a stepping stone many of these men you are so dying to fuck for free will also see you as such. I guess we can all be grateful that better things are "a-head" for all of us, men and women alike.
As the old saying goes" if you are too free , you have nothing."
Melonie
04-22-2012, 03:35 AM
Ohh and the future of what a woman does when she decides to hang up her gstring and stilletos is another thing. We all may venture out of the industry at some point but some women know how to reinvent themselves time and time again. They may make less or more but they still keep things fresh and guess what? They are no longer youngsters. I wish I could be that badass when I get to their age. Only time will tell.
I resemble that remark LOL !!!
Everyone knows stripping is a stepping stone to something else
That's a sweeping generalization. Certainly not true in my case, nor for lots of other 'serious professional dancers'. But it does provide food for thought to consider the assumptions behind that statement ... i.e. that a professional ballet dancer and a professional exotic dancer must be vastly different in terms of slut/trash factor or degree of sexual 'liberalism' in their personal lives.
Like when I date I noticed when I don't sleep with a guy he will wine and dine me but when I give it up too soon he loses interest
This makes reference to the 'natural instincts' thing ... pursuit of a desireable sex partner ... versus the pursuit of a relationship. Personally speaking, at this stage in my life I'm counting on the fact that they will quickly lose interest - because I certainly will LOL !!!
camille27
04-24-2012, 01:34 PM
i really had no idea there was a jersey stereotype. apparently enough to warrant a television show, but god, so many situations in the past five years where i could've used that sentence as an excuse for my behavior and it would've been accepted.