View Full Version : Camming and being single/Not single..
TouringGirlfriend
05-14-2011, 04:34 PM
Cool beans :). I'm content with my life and as long as you're content with yours that's all that matters 8).
Smurfette
05-14-2011, 04:40 PM
Agreed! I just don't like the insinuation that us girls in relationships are dating losers and/or have low self-esteem. That's not the case. :P
roast
05-14-2011, 05:00 PM
^Meh, my fiance makes more than I do (vanilla salried job + camming combined), well over XXX% more. When we started dating he was making less than I was (Id say I made about 60% of our combined income).... I am unsure if the point of this thread is that income is the only metric for being a male loser, but if it is, the focus is wayyy too much on "right now" instead of "eventually" or what ambition or character traits does this person exhibit to secure stability for both himself and others. Money RIGHT NOW doesn't mean sh!t when next week you may not have what you had the previous week, or even a year down the line. It also totally ignores that there are people who are businesswomen (like want their own money.. always) and lesbian cammers as well (I think we have one in this forum who posts regularly). Unless you're struggling & need support or advice, I think talking about money is gauche, so Ill drop it, but the sentiment in this thread is ill informed.
Relationships are an investment that is not exclusively financial like a one shot sex work session. He offers to be the breadwinner, but uh this isn't the 1950s. Seriously though, I honor those who do combine incomes and whatever else, that means you believe in eternal true love. I wish I could get to that point but my own life (and choices) has basically fucked my sense of 'wonder' and 'magic' up.
Being a cynical pessimist is good for life-'planning' but not necessarily for the soul.
So what is being said isn't universally applicable is my point. Just strangely angry finger pointing for some unspoken reason.
Also the perception that cam girls are financially struggling is a false one - its a selection issue: those who have financial issues OR who suddenly make a chunk of money and are not used to it, post about it ("new money" I guess). Bear in mind that both situations are episodic and not indicative of a fast and true trend that is so open for such angry snarking. Most people who are having a rough spot don't post daily - they usually just need to vent. When they're silent the next week, I assume they're doing well. I thnk we should all assume the same and congratulate them for excelling in a industry that is not always too kind to its workers (ie, the sex industry)
If I can offer random financial advice - I got a 401K when I super young and just doing sex work (18yrsold) because some client told me to. I hate that the advice did not come from my own intiative but if I can throw it out - it helps and monthly contributions are loe. I use Charles Schwab for a 401K independent of vanillawork, and they know about my income 'double life' and don't care as long as they get their payments. So I recommend them if youre tired of coming up with creative titles for 'online sex hustler' for official forms. That plus having an online savings account that you cannot easily touch (I strongly suggest SmartyPig, great interest rates, probably the highest next to ING) can offer a great sense of security... for you, your family, whatever structure you have going on in your life. You don't even have to put it much and itll grow
Contributions can be small or large - just remember that small may be small but small always builds into something big over time
....Which is basically my whole point to this
ukmissy
05-14-2011, 05:51 PM
My husband and I got together when we were teenagers - He supported me through university , he worked while I couldn't . He always worked hard, and always took care of me.
Several years ago he was involved in an accident which destroyed our lives - it also prevents him from being the bread winner in our house hold anymore . I am grateful to be in a position where I can support us both and we also have a good savings - pay into great pension schemes for the future, have a good home and invest in a couple of local businesses.
He helps me as much as he can , but these days that is nothing compared to the piss easy money I funnel into OUR JOINT bank account .
We love each other, we signed til death do us part , in sickness and in health - I didn't do it for tradition, I did it because I meant it . We are life partners - If I had been in the accident, he would be looking after me right now . I am 100% sure of that .
I would be interested in hearing if the girls who claim they would not support a man , would support him in said situation.
People around here seem pretty cynical. We have stability , money for the future , and are trying for a baby. ( financially we are doing really well, yes WE ) Perhaps some of you consider me to be a pathetic loser for keeping this man , I don't know .. But some things are not as straight forward as they seem .
I don't know how anyone can tar all bread winning girls as losers. Every situation is different . There are many things that do not fit with my ideal, I was raised with good parents and had a happy childhood --- but I certainly don't judge anyone but myself who ends up in said positions ... Single moms, divorcees, addicts etc - If I was going by my own ideals - I would outcast them all with a flick of my brush , I am not that arrogant.
Everyone has their own story , and without knowing the story first , I am in no position to judge , and nor is anyone else . :-) Some people need to remember ... NO ONE is perfect , and the narcissists among us need to take a wee look in the proverbial mirror . Are you really living your lives exactly to your guidelines, traditions, cultures and expectations ?
That's all .
Missy . ( and her Lame duck husband who she thanks the lord is still alive, rich or penniless :-p )
TouringGirlfriend
05-14-2011, 06:12 PM
Edit:
I couldn't care less about that part.
I don't know how anyone can tar all bread winning girls as losers. Every situation is different . There are many things that do not fit with my ideal, I was raised with good parents and had a happy childhood --- but I certainly don't judge anyone but myself who ends up in said positions ... Single moms, divorcees, addicts etc - If I was going by my own ideals - I would outcast them all with a flick of my brush , I am not that arrogant.
That is where you have it wrong. No one said bread winning girls are losers. I'm pretty much saying if you sit there and let your man take advantage or you and indirectly pimp you, you're a loser. A lot of ladies KNOW that their men are pimping them but they will never come out and say it. I choose to keep my own money all to my selfish self and not share with a bum ass fuck! Gross! Yes I will be arrogant/Snobbish I guess.. I just don't date broke/loserish men that don't try. No being broke does not make you a loser but being a BUM does! When you are NOT trying to help your girl out and make your household a two income home...? you're a bum!
As an independent woman, I expect MY MAN to be an independent man. I do not want a leech, a bum, a couch potato. If you are with me, you do not have to be a millionaire but you do have to make more money than I do. While you do that, I will work as well, cook, clean and take care of the kids.. that's the deal.. get it? If I dated a man that had LOTS of money and then all the sudden lost everything, that is not a bum. As HIS woman, I will make any investments I can to pick him back up.
To everyone else,
I will agree with devonsantos on something, I can never date a man again being in the industry. It does not make sense to me. If he cannot provide for me and will let me screw men for money or let me exploit myself online for money then he's not a man in my opinion. I do NOT want a man that is ok with this business! I do not! I wanted that once before but not anymore!
Some people have become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. I know how I grew up and my parents always taught me to shoot big, want more fo myself! If I'm going to be with a bum, I'm going to be with a smart bum not an idiot. At least with a smart bum, I can use my money and prop him up and mold him into something. I do not see how some of you ladies are OK with dating useless men that only have good credits in the bedroom. I can't do that. I have my own money/ know how to make money own money and if I wanted sex, I can hit up my drawer so what good is a useless man? Wanting more for yourself does not make you pretentious and arrogant, it just makes you smarter than most. Nuff said.
xoAnnaBanana
05-14-2011, 06:33 PM
I'm not a cam girl, I'm a dancer but still... This all seems a little bit silly to me. Isn't saying that most girls on here, have low self-esteem and/or a loser pimp or mooching significant other an awfully stereotypical generalization? Everyone's situation is different and at the end of the day, as long as you're happy with your decisions and with your life, then that's ultimately what matters. And if you're happier being single/free and don't want to date anyone while you're still in this industry, then good for you, that's your prerogative, but everyone else on here is just as entitled to theirs too. I'm pretty sure at one point or another we've all dated a loser who either uses you emotionally, sexually, or financially, but it's not the end of the world. You come out smarter and wiser because of it. Sometimes it's a hard lesson to be learned, but it NEEDS to be learned first hand.
It sounds like some people are assuming the bad and worst case scenarios are the most prevalent but that's not necessarily the case. Instead of focusing on the negative things associated with this industry, why not focus on the positive? This industry allows you to become financially independent, smarter, sexier, and stronger as a woman. And whether you're dating or married, the guy could be a total loser or a user no matter what profession you're in. I've read this whole thread and there are definitely some women on here who seem to have their shit together and have significant others who can't necessarily support them financially-- but they support them emotionally and in other ways too, and I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. Personally, I'd rather have a man by my side who I know is always gonna be there for me, support me in all the ways that he possibly can, and love me regardless of how much money he is or isn't depositing into the bank.
Just my 2 cents.
ukmissy
05-14-2011, 06:35 PM
Exactly ^
TouringGirlfriend
05-14-2011, 06:38 PM
AnnaBanana,
1.) Yeah but I know a lot of dumb chicks in the industry so it doesn't necessarily make you smarter and it doesn't necessarily allow you to have all the money you like ...just look at all the complaints by girls making minimum wage camming. Search the threads. Too many complaints for no reason. Too many people don't have the passion for camming, escorting and dancing and do it anyway because they feel it is the easy way out.
2.) When your opinions differ from others, people accuse you of being negative which is a bit silly.
3.)and the low selfesteem thing is pretty transparent: Again visit the life support section of sw. While no one person is better than the other, stupidity is pretty common around here lately. Just saying.
misselise07
05-14-2011, 06:43 PM
I always thought relationships like friendships were suppose to go both ways. You help me, I help you. I have been guys with before that want to give me everything. I could not do it because I am independent and will provide everything for myself. I would never want to live with a man who just hands me everything. A situation like that always turns in to a power struggle. I would also never just hand my partner whatever sum of money they want or whatever. If someone took care of me when I was down on my luck or something happened to me you best believe if anything happened to them I would repay what they have done for me.
TouringGirlfriend
05-14-2011, 06:46 PM
I always thought relationships like friendships were suppose to go both ways. You help me, I help you. I have been guys with before that want to give me everything. I could not do it because I am independent and will provide everything for myself. I would never want to live with a man who just hands me everything. A situation like that always turns in to a power struggle. I would also never just hand my partner whatever sum of money they want or whatever. If someone took care of me when I was down on my luck or something happened to me you best believe if anything happened to them I would repay what they have done for me.
Pretty much sums it up for me :-)
I'm all for being independent!
xoAnnaBanana
05-14-2011, 06:51 PM
Yeah but I know a lot of dumb chicks in the industry so it doesn't necessarily make you smarter and it doesn't necessarily allow you to have all the money you like ...just look at all the complaints by girls making minimum wage camming. Search the threads. Too many complaints for no reason. When your opinions differ from others, people accuse you of being negative which is a bit silly.
and the low selfesteem thing is pretty transparent: Again visit the life support section of sw.
I know a lot of not-so-smart girls in this industry too, but I also know a lot of smart and savvy ones. :) And I'd also like to note that it takes time to get to the point of being one of the smart ones... it doesn't just happen overnight, not everyone's got the self esteem or initiative to become strong and independent and smart depending on their situation.
I know I've dated my share of losers and spent my share of money on shit that doesn't matter, I'm guessing that a lot of us have, but I'd like to believe that eventually you'll learn from your mistakes and better yourself, it might take awhile to learn some lessons but that doesn't necessarily make you a loser. It makes you human.
In fact, I think that the majority of girls on StripperWeb are smarter than your average cam girl or dancer out in the real world and rather than putting other people down (who you don't really know, you only know a small portion of their lives-- of what they share typed out on the internet), why not celebrate the good parts?
Personally, I'd rather focus on the positive like the threads about girls who made bank at the club. Or the girls who got an amazing boob job. Or the girls who got a regular to buy them stuff from their amazon wishlists. Or got a $500 date on whatsyourprice.
ukmissy
05-14-2011, 06:51 PM
Edit:
I couldn't care less about that part.
That is where you have it wrong. No one said bread winning girls are losers. I'm pretty much saying if you sit there and let your man take advantage or you and indirectly pimp you, you're a loser. A lot of ladies KNOW that their men are pimping them but they will never come out and say it. I choose to keep my own money all to my selfish self and not share with a bum ass fuck! Gross! Yes I will be arrogant/Snobbish I guess.. I just don't date broke/loserish men that don't try. No being broke does not make you a loser but being a BUM does! When you are NOT trying to help your girl out and make your household a two income home...? you're a bum!
As an independent woman, I expect MY MAN to be an independent man. I do not want a leech, a bum, a couch potato. If you are with me, you do not have to be a millionaire but you do have to make more money than I do. While you do that, I will work as well, cook, clean and take care of the kids.. that's the deal.. get it? If I dated a man that had LOTS of money and then all the sudden lost everything, that is not a bum. As HIS woman, I will make any investments I can to pick him back up.
Slowwww down , you are editing faster than I can respond :D
I had wrote back to the points you couldn't care less about , but I see they've gone. It was not you TG who suggested that such a relationship was not worthy of respect , but it has been mentioned in this thread .
I was simply pointing out that sometimes such relationships occur as a result of something blameless... Life can suck for blameless reasons. There is not always a scape goat . It's hard to accept , but it's certainly the case. My post was in no way directed at you . It's touching to see your softer side, and read you would go out of your way to pick your man up financially if shit hit the fan but I'm getting the vibe that not everyone here would be willing to do the same, and because of my own situation, I am interested in the opinion of those who wouldn't.
What would you do if your husband was in an accidnet and could no longer earn more money than you ? All the investment in the world would not pick up his physical disability- Would you consider him less of a man on the basis you would have to return to the adult industry to save for you and your family's future ? or would you take a job outside this industry and earn less because you're in a relationship?
...... I am not defensive - I don't feel the need to defend my relationship on here, as you well know , albeit the accident , we are both very happy .... But rather, I am genuinely interested .
misselise07
05-14-2011, 06:52 PM
^^ Agreed and as pessimistic as this may sound a lot of the girls on here need to learn at the end of the day it is really just you, your thoughts, and your money. I have no clue where I am going with this or why I am saying it. This thread is going off topic haha (Oh crap btw I was agreeing with TouringGirlfriends post where she quoted me...)
TouringGirlfriend
05-14-2011, 06:59 PM
What would you do if your husband was in an accidnet and could no longer earn more money than you ? All the investment in the world would not pick up his physical disability- Would you consider him less of a man on the basis you would have to return to the adult industry to save for you and your family's future ? or would you take a job outside this industry and earn less because you're in a relationship?
...... I am not defensive - I don't feel the need to defend my relationship on here, as you well know , albeit the accident , we are both very happy .... But rather, I am genuinely interested .
Hehehe then he better have a fat savings account because I'm not going to tote him around like a baby. I'm not going to spoonfeed him either or carry his bag of piss. If he is in the way of what I need to do then I will put him in a nursing home where someone can take care of him or I will hire a nanny that will take care of him while I do what I need to do to take care of home but guess what missy? I will never cry and mope over the situation. I've never been the stuck in the rut type. I always manage to wiggle my way out of any situation thanks to the adult industry for giving me that power. See a lot of ladies cannot do that. They need their husbands/boyfriends like they need their right hand. I've been in a relationship before and even he was surprised at how independent I am. By the time I am married, I will be out of this industry. I hope all of that makes sense. I will never marry while being in the industry. I will slap the man that agrees to marry me while I fuck the whole united states for money.
Oh stop of course I'll take care of the man.
TeeBaby
05-14-2011, 07:11 PM
to be on-topic.
I find it much easier to cam being single. Relationships take work, work = time, time = money. I have time to have fun, but not for a serious romantic relationship. Plus, when you're in a relationship, it's only right you think about your partners feelings, and I'm not ready to consider another's feelings about my money matters. I don't like being the bad-guy in the relationship. I don't like being the selfish one. When I don't have to play those roles or feel like I'm playing those roles, I'm down for the commitment. Presently, I am happy with this.
Smurfette
05-14-2011, 07:39 PM
Hehehe then he better have a fat savings account because I'm not going to tote him around like a baby. I'm not going to spoonfeed him either or carry his bag of piss. If he is in the way of what I need to do then I will put him in a nursing home where someone can take care of him or I will hire a nanny that will take care of him while I do what I need to do to take care of home but guess what missy? I will never cry and mope over the situation. I've never been the stuck in the rut type. I always manage to wiggle my way out of any situation thanks to the adult industry for giving me that power. See a lot of ladies cannot do that. They need their husbands/boyfriends like they need their right hand. I've been in a relationship before and even he was surprised at how independent I am. By the time I am married, I will be out of this industry. I hope all of that makes sense. I will never marry while being in the industry. I will slap the man that agrees to marry me while I fuck the whole united states for money.
Haha TG, you're harsh! I didn't realize marriage meant "till death do us part... or until something bad happens to you, then you're shipped off to the nursing home because I don't want to support you or care for you in any way"
TouringGirlfriend
05-14-2011, 07:41 PM
Haha TG, you're harsh! I didn't realize marriage meant "till death do us part... or until something bad happens to you, then you're shipped off to the nursing home because I don't want to support you or care for you in any way"
Highliight my post and you'll see that you missed a very big part of it ;).
"Oh stop of course I'll take care of the man." in hidden text.
However, nursing home does not bother me one bit. I would never want to be a burden to anyone just as I don't want anyone to be a burden to me.
Smurfette
05-14-2011, 07:56 PM
Highliight my post and you'll see that you missed a very big part of it ;).
"Oh stop of course I'll take care of the man." in hidden text.
However, nursing home does not bother me one bit. I would never want to be a burden to anyone just as I don't want anyone to be a burden to me.
Oh you're sneaky... lol. I got punked! :D
I disagree with the nursing home thing though. Probably because I worked in one. I understand it's not always possible to take care of someone in your own home but I think the nursing home should be a last resort. You could always get a home health care nurse to come to your house. I've seen far too many sad, lonely people in homes who wonder why their families don't visit them more often. I would have a very hard time sending my parents to a home, much less my husband!
prescottvespoli
05-14-2011, 08:34 PM
Wow, lot of strong opinions on this thread. Of which, like an asshole, I have one too.....
I think camming or being in any part of the AI, definatly makes relationships and forming them differant and the same, from the norms of society. We all come from differant backrounds and cultures and what is normal for some is not the norm for others.
To not be supported by your SO in either what you are doing now, or what you have done in your past, is something that will hang over the relationship like a storm cloud waiting to downpour. If someone is not going to accept your choices either now, or later on down the road, then how is the relationship worth it?
Sounds to me like Smurfette has something special and realizes it. The way I was raised, mom stayed home and dad brought home the bread... Well now the roles are reversed, and pops still only puts in about 25% around the house. Drives me crazy. Never want to be like that....
And to those that would never marry someone who would let them cam, would you marry them if they were OK with it as long as it was in your past? I just don't understand how that is acceptable to you... Or would you keep it from them?
Dealing with the whole coming out thing to the SO is covered in other threads, and from what I see, personal happiness and achievement is always more important then what others think. So, do your thing and if they don't accept you for you, move on. There is someone out there that will put you on that pedistol you deserve to be on.....
PV
Diamond Dust
05-15-2011, 02:11 AM
I say as long as you're both happy and there is no resentment, who cares who makes the most money? I agree that I wouldn't want a couch potato guy though. I'd be like, "Instead of sitting around, get over here and cam with me and we'll make even more money as a couple." What guy would say no to that anyway?
I don't really see why some of you wouldn't date a guy who is okay with you camming...it's not like what we do is sinful or cheating. As long as he knows your emotions aren't involved in it and that it's just a job to you then I think it could work out. That being said, if he's not okay with it but he's a great guy and you love him for the right reasons and he makes a decent amount of money, I would say it might be worth giving up sex work. I'd quit for the right guy.
dixievista
05-15-2011, 04:22 AM
I had to stop reading a lot of the responses here - too much OLD FASHIONED thinking lol. I'm very modern in that I think a woman can support a man and it be ok. No one can judge another person for his or her decisions - they can have opinions, but unless you live their life, who are you to judge? Everyone is different.
I had a boyfriend when I started camming, but he couldn't handle it like he thought he could, so we broke up. Now I'm moving on and dating again, but being very clear and open and up front about what I do for work - and making it clear that if you make less than me, it is not going to work! In my experience, this means I have to date older men, which is fine with me, because I'm very serious and sorry, even though I'm still in my 20s, I have very mature tendencies - I like to live on my own, but I also love taking care of someone and being taken care of.
When I live with a boyfriend, no matter who is supporting who financially, there is mutual emotional support, and just basic taking care of each other. When I was financially supporting my last boyfriend, he took fucking damn good care of me - did all the housework, cooked my favorite foods all the time, keep the laundry up, everything. Women are slowly progressing over men financially (especially in this current depression) so we are going to be seeing a lot more equal relationships between men and women (flipping the stereotype) so we need to learn what to expect in that kind of a relationship.
Sorry I've drank a lot of coffee and am rambling.
To the point - be single if you want, date if you want, maybe just work daytime hours? I don't know, your situation is yours and yours ALONE - just remember who your decisions affect, discuss with your partner, be open and honest, and no one can fault you!
ukmissy
05-15-2011, 04:42 AM
LOL @ Tg - That is taking an extreme situation ... There is no piss bag , or nursing home required - I have NO problem pushing a wheel chair.
And as many people know, I never mope about the situation . I am actually ecstatic he is alive .... However my point is , while he doesn't need me to look after him physically , he certainly needs me to play bread winner . Can you imagine the look on his face if I shipped him to a nursing home :D
Things can happen in life - Money is never certain . You can have the biggest savings in the world - and it is not certified . You can have the healthiest man in the world , his health is not guaranteed . Years ago , I believed like you . That I would not be married and be working the adult industry , things happen . You can have it all planned out , with all the best intentions , shit gets in the way. You wriggle out of the situation 'thanks to the adult industry' .... That's pretty much my point ... We had a situation dumped on us, which he was blameless of ... You would be surprised how fast savings vanish when something as enormous as that hits your partner or child - So it did leave me as a married woman, bringing home the bacon - Of course he does everything round the house, but he did not choose this, and that's what makes it different .... But some of us , not directed back to you TG , need to remember that ! ... THAT we ARE all different . And it's stupid to judge without the story behind the situation.
In the same way I believe it is not optimum to have kids and in the industry , I would rather do something admirable, something to show them which they can be proud of - I would not have kids if I was not married - old fashioned ? Sure .... BUT I can surely relate to people who have bypassed these views ... because of course, things happen .
Anyway , bowing out now , and when I bow out , I don't return :P but here's hoping everyone the best future , be it single or partnered ... And those of you who sign til death do us part, try and remember before you sign , that SHIT happens ! Even to the richest and most successful men of the world .
Missy }:D
TouringGirlfriend
05-15-2011, 04:52 AM
In the same way I believe it is not optimum to have kids and in the industry , I would rather do something admirable, something to show them which they can be proud of - I would not have kids if I was not married - old fashioned ? Sure .... BUT I can surely relate to people who have bypassed these views ... because of course, things happen .
Perfect that you said that. Just like you feel it is not right to have kids being in the industry/being unmarried I feel it's not right to date broke men/ men that are useless and only have good credits in their bedrooms/men that do absolutely nothing for me. What good is a useless dick? A couch potato? Someone that doesn't want to get off his ass and make things happen our family? I could never sleep with such person talkless about marrying such. Unlike a lot of ladies here, at 21 I have a daughter, have my own home, have several cars, have my head on straight, have my own money and actually KNOW what I am doing. A lot of people that get married and have kids do not know what they are doing. I don't want to change anyone's way of living but I do want people to open themselves to possibities.
Remember the girl that posted here that her husband made her buy her own wedding ring, does not by her anything, does not take care of their baby, calls her a whore for fucking herself on cam .. etc .. as she said .. everything was perfect at first. She has become accustomed to that situation and she is not leaving him. Me? I would have left without even blinking. I will never be dependent on any man and any man that thinks he will leech off of me will suffer a rude awakening.
See that is why this thing is so great! We all have our own views and we're all so unique in our own way. Half of the things some of you have mentioned are totally shocking to me (Stay at home dad, Stay at home boyfriend) NEVER! I forbid it! I AM old fashioned/I have my own knowledge as to what a real man is supposed to be like. Thanks to my wonderful father for that example.
How's that for strong beliefs? Just fyi I'm also anti drugs and smoking. I don't like to associate with people who use controlled substances *gasps* Here on stripperweb yall call that being "Negative" and "Judgmental".. ;)
kittykrane
05-15-2011, 07:52 AM
I don't doubt that it is easier doing this type of work as a single, but it's not impossible to do it in a HEALTHY (open communication and supportive) relationship either.
cherryblossomsinspring
05-15-2011, 08:22 AM
American women are making society's men dumber and dumber and the men are making women weaker and weaker by tearing down their walls aka self esteem! If this epidemic continues, women like me that appreciate the original standards of mateship and courting will become a ''commodity'' while the rest of you ladies that choose to date losers become welfare recipients relying on the government to take care of you when you get old and ugly with no money cause you spent it all on some loser that didn't give a rats ass about in the first place. ''My man this, my man that''! Shut up! He is NOT a man if fucks you at night and you have to ask other people for money during the day! He is a bitch and you are just his personalized, smile in your face, pretty whore that he enjoys showcasing off to his friends. In the back of his mind, he can't believe just how fucking stupid you are. NEVER EVER EVER EVER give a man money!
YOU READ MY FUCKING MIND!!!
I'm the same way. If you have a dick why the fuck would I be begging some man for a dollar or a dime to see his ?REAL MEN DO REAL SHIT! There would be no way in hell I would be rolling off of some loser that can't hold shit down at home. 50/50? When did I grow a cock? If I have to work like a man then hell I don't need one!
We all try to avoid the "studio pimps" but many women got these "pimps" mooching off their hard earned money at home and in most cases these men are jealous of them. Some of the shit I read made me feel like.... " he's using you to keep a roof over his own head,gets the benefit of fucking you for free and gets to talk down to you too? Drop the loser and do it alone! You should never have to work around some broke bitch's schedule and "keep" quiet because he can't man up! Fuck him! If he was putting shit down then you wouldn't need to sell your ass to make a buck! If I was in this situation I would be LOUD on purpose!! Let him know not only am I getting off but hey bitch this guy just paid the rent! So fuck your insecurities and your nap time! ohh and move the fuck out ... MY MEN ARE PAYING THE RENT!!
To me I don't know a guy would want to feel like a loser for not doing for his woman. I do agree that times have changed and many men are getting over for cheap. Recession my ass! Get a fucking 2nd job you loser and stop looking for me to support your ass!
I also noticed that many of these same men will be on the cam site when you're not home paying to see some other woman get naked WITH YOUR MONEY!
Fridays
05-15-2011, 09:56 AM
Jesus Christ this thread blew up! and yes I've read all the replies and thanks to everybody who expressed their feelings on this one...
After reading it all, it amazed me how some models have "old fashioned" values when it comes to relationships ....YET they do adult work... these 2 combined make no sense to me.
Edited ):
When did LOVE start to be compared to money and to who provides for who? If thats the case then the more a man provides/gives you money.. the more u Love him? thats not love.. thats financial exploitation..
this is besides the topic anyways! and thats fine I guess Its all a maze..
the topic was created so that models who live with their hubby/BF can share ideas as to what and how they deal with camming when they are not alone in the house..and those who are single to share feelings about it too in the sense of making/not making great money .. and not about whos BETTER then who!
Yes, you can have a healthy relationship while still camming and just cause some choose not to have a relationship at all, does not make you better then the rest.
Arguments in a relationship will happen no matter what. no matter what job u do, people argue. that does not make them lame and losers.
alot of name calling in this thread and assumptions that are just WRONG as other says if you do not know all the circumstances, u should not judge, and even then. you should not anyways, cause all of your judgement is based of your personal experiences and personal values,.. unless your an unbiased professional counselor!
This thread is more like throwing stones at each other. just made me very upset, for real...
If someone who CHOOSES to support their man is a dumb bitch, then whoever said that, if shes still doing online sex shows, is a freaking dumb whore who cant get a GOOD real life job!I s this what we have to go down to, to make a point?
We all live in a glass house here...
and No one is BETTER then anyone else!
Want to live old fashioned? Want to be all high mighty giving advice to people how to live their life? Then stop camming today cause you;re sinning too much...
The men who are so lame staying at home dads and taking care of the house are probably the same damn men who pay for your shows and who you value so much!. ever thought of that?
and rest asure IF you have been camming in the past and later on in life you choose to get in a relationship, you better tell your SO the whole truth about it..
the person u are today is because the person u were yesterday.
there is no escape from the truth. Ever.
Im gonna go back to work now, still trying to figure out how to make my room sound proof... maybe paint a few more coats of paint over the already 20 coats lol
Actually I didn't understand either why someone is not a real man for letting his partner simply cam if she wishes to, but some else is a MAN, who would marry a woman that used to literally fk half of the USA for money? ::) I don't have anything against escorting and fking for money, thou I do not do it, and would not do it either, but I seriously don't get why is that man is a MAN who is satisfied with a woman with that past, and the other one, who lets his partner just broadcast an image of herself is not a true man..
Anyways I am damn lucky. I don't have to cam when my man is at home. Usually he is at work cause in my time zone from the early morning till the early afternoon is the best time to cam. So 8)
TouringGirlfriend
05-15-2011, 11:31 AM
Actually I didn't understand either why someone is not a real man for letting his partner simply cam if she wishes to, but some else is a MAN, who would marry a woman that used to literally fk half of the USA for money? ::) I don't have anything against escorting and fking for money, thou I do not do it, and would not do it either, but I seriously don't get why is that man is a MAN who is satisfied with a woman with that past, and the other one, who lets his partner just broadcast an image of herself is not a true man..
Is english not your first language? For some reason I didn't understand anything you said here. That didn't make a lick of sense to me. Someone else please explain what she's saying because I don't understand. Anyways, Like I said any man that let's his wife exploit herself for money is not a real man. I did't say anything about if he lets her cam it's ok or if he lets her escort it's not ok. No one job is better than the other so I don't get what you are saying here. I simply said that a real man would take care of his girl and not let her work in the sex trade. I have dated men that were ok with escorting and I KNEW it was a fling and not a real relationship. If something is working for you great, If you don't agree.. awesome!
If you are happy with the way your life is why do you keep trying to attack me? LOL. Funny 8) Wanna date/marry a bum.. good for you! Do you think I give a damn if you like escorting/would escort or not? You made a comment about something earlier and I will address it now: When I marry I won't have a problem telling my husband or anyone of my loved ones my sex industry past. I will be running my own non-adult business or retired. See unlike a lot of you I don't plan to be a "e hoe" or "hooker" for the rest of my life. I'm still young and hot and going to milk the industry until I am satisfied financially.
I like how a lot of you guys are so happy with your lives but yet you want to continue singing the same song. Fuck that noise! You are you and I am me. That is what makes this world so frikkin beautiful. ;)
TouringGirlfriend
05-15-2011, 11:41 AM
Who said they wouldn't tell their SO about their sex industry past? Most def NOT me! I am very proud to be a sex worker. That does not mean I want a stay at home dad, a bum, a useless dick that's ok with me escorting because he cannot do anything for himself. Do you get it now? Wow a lot of you cannot read or just like to make things up for your own personal entertainment. All my boyfriends KNEW I worked/work as an escort. I personally told them myself so umm.. yeah... yall are preaching to the choir here. If you are so happy with your life then do you!
Fridays
05-15-2011, 12:04 PM
I assume Ykat is saying that if escorting involves real sex, then yes escorting is way worst then camming and I believe it is as well.
Actually, in a perfect world we would not be camming at all!
We would be what we wanted to be when we were little... nurse, doctors, teachers, and so on.. right? We do this for the money only right? Or do we enjoy it SO much that we believe its our ideal carrier...then lets do it till we're 90 yrs old.
I don't believe we can be 100 % happy with what we do when most of the society blames us for it... and unfortunately, no matter how tough and strong we pretend to be, WE are social creatures and I believe it bothers us and if given a better option ( not sexual related) we would take it in a heart beat... this equals = U dont REALLY love camming LOL
I dont love camming, I love the money camming brings and thats all there is to it.
when my camming work does not produce well, i immediately want to look for another job cause unless camming is GREAT $$ , its not worth the aggravation.
TouringGirlfriend
05-15-2011, 12:06 PM
I assume Ykat is saying that if escorting involves real sex, then yes escorting is way worst then camming and I believe it is as well.
Actually, in a perfect world we would not be camming at all!
We would be what we wanted to be when we were little... nurse, doctors, teachers, and so on.. right? We do this for the money only right? Or do we enjoy it SO much that we believe its our ideal carrier...then lets do it till we're 90 yrs old.
I don't believe we can be 100 % happy with what we do when most of the society blames us for it... and unfortunately, no matter how tough and strong we pretend to be, WE are social creatures and I believe it bothers us and if given a better option ( not sexual related) we would take it in a heart beat... this equals = U dont REALLY love camming LOL
I dont love camming, I love the money camming brings and thats all there is to it.
when my camming work does not produce well, i immediately want to look for another job cause unless camming is GREAT $$ , its not worth the aggravation.
I most definitely agree! However, I never viewed escorting as being worst than anything. I personally enjoy escorting more than camming. The work for me is easier and the money is WAY WAY WAY better than camming. So to someone like you or ykat escorting is a fucked up job but I love it. Yeah Yeah I'm just a slut like that. ;) However, I agree with everything else.
Fridays
05-15-2011, 12:07 PM
Who said they wouldn't tell their SO about their sex industry past? Most def NOT me! I am very proud to be a sex worker. That does not mean I want a stay at home dad, a bum, a useless dick that's ok with me escorting because he cannot do anything for himself.
putting "stay at home dad" and bum in the same line makes u sound like u think its the same thing... and def. it is not
stay at home dad= bum?
then
stay at home mom = what?
TouringGirlfriend
05-15-2011, 12:11 PM
putting "stay at home dad" and bum in the same line makes u sound like u think its the same thing... and def. it is not
stay at home dad= bum?
then
stay at home mom = what?
I am not a stay at home mom. I have no experience with that. I work just like everyone else and I have held several titles. "Escort is just one of them" :-). . Again, the way I was raised men are to go to work while we bare childrent. You can call it old fashion but for a lot of people it is the way of life. Smurfette doesn't agree with me and I don't agree a man should be a stay at home dad. So I am guessing there is no right or wrong lifestyle I just know I like my lifestyle the way it is = Independent, My own money, beautiful home, nice cars.. oh oh and no bum man to take care of/ no man indirectly pimping me/ no man telling me what to do or degrading my job :D. That was what I meant by my comments. If you are happy with your lifestyle, that's all that matters. I just know that if I ever needed help with my relationship (dont' have one now) I would never take relationship advice from the majority of the ladies that have posted in this thread/seek advice from stripperweb. So we shouldn't all be getting butt hurt. Let's act like grown people and have a conversation without the attacks :).
Is english not your first language? For some reason I didn't understand anything you said here. That didn't make a lick of sense to me. Someone else please explain what she's saying because I don't understand. Anyways, Like I said any man that let's his wife exploit herself for money is not a real man. I did't say anything about if he lets her cam it's ok or if he lets her escort it's not ok. No one job is better than the other so I don't get what you are saying here. I simply said that a real man would take care of his girl and not let her work in the sex trade. I have dated men that were ok with escorting and I KNEW it was a fling and not a real relationship. If something is working for you great, If you don't agree.. awesome!
If you are happy with the way your life is why do you keep trying to attack me? LOL. Funny 8) Wanna date/marry a bum.. good for you! Do you think I give a damn if you like escorting/would escort or not? You made a comment about something earlier and I will address it now: When I marry I won't have a problem telling my husband or anyone of my loved ones my sex industry past. I will be running my own non-adult business or retired. See unlike a lot of you I don't plan to be a "e hoe" or "hooker" for the rest of my life. I'm still young and hot and going to milk the industry until I am satisfied financially.
I like how a lot of you guys are so happy with your lives but yet you want to continue singing the same song. Fuck that noise! You are you and I am me. That is what makes this world so frikkin beautiful. ;)
----> yea, third language, will try to make it clearer :D
So somewhere before you stated that in your opinion a man, who let his wife/girlfriend cam was not a real man.
Correct me if I am wrong, but I thought that you would marry someone, who is a real man in your opinion. This is why I wrote what I wrote.
(I didn't think that you would not talk to him about your past, of course you are not ashamed of being sex worker, (you don't even have to be because you are a wise, and independent woman, which is actually pretty cool, screw the nuns - so yea I didn't think that you should/would hide it)).
So my point was that, why is your future husban material any better than the men that let their partner cam (JUST cam). Actually your future husban will be okay with that his wife did really fk with many dudes for money. Why is that kind a better man, a real man, while those, who have a healthy relationship and don't QQ cause of their partner's job? And that job doesn't even include any real sex.
I do not attack you, I just don't get some of your points. The world is full of lazy idiots, users etc. It does not matter if the woman is a sex worker or a nurse or a teacher, they can use her. So women have to keep their eyes open, that is true. But this webcamming is just a work as well as shopkeeping. And it can be done in a healthy relationship just like any other job.
Sex workers can also have great partners, and nice relationships. You kinda talked like "woman is a sex worker = she will only find assholes who use her for her money". And that is simply not ture.
TouringGirlfriend
05-15-2011, 12:29 PM
----> yea, third language, will try to make it clearer :D
That is fine. It is my second language. Sorry if my comment were offensive. I feel better now.
So somewhere before you stated that in your opinion a man, who let his wife/girlfriend cam was not a real man.
Correct me if I am wrong, but I thought that you would marry someone, who is a real man in your opinion. This is why I wrote what I wrote.
Again I am totally confused. I just don't understand. I will say this though: I have explained myself multiple times.. If you don't agree fine :)
(I didn't think that you would not talk to him about your past, of course you are not ashamed of being sex worker, (you don't even have to be because you are a wise, and independent woman, which is actually pretty cool, screw the nuns - so yea I didn't think that you should/would hide it)).
Thanks
So my point was that, why is your future husban material any better than the men that let their partner cam (JUST cam). Actually your future husban will be okay with that his wife did really fk with many dudes for money. Why is that kind a better man, a real man, while those, who have a healthy relationship and don't QQ cause of their partner's job? And that job doesn't even include any real sex.
And you KEEP trying to prove to me that camming is somehow better than escorting. I can tell you now that i have been a camgirl and an escort and I preferred escorting. So this is just an opinion of YOURS. Is that how you make yourself feel better? Do you think You are better than me because you are a camgirl and I choose to escort? Please! I never hated my work as an escort/I enjoy/ enjoyed it. There are many man that are willing to overlook the fact that I am an escort. However, what part of I will NOT date a man while I am escorting do you not understand? Do you not get that I will rather wait until I am done escorting to find a man on focus on him and only him and not him and other men? No? You don't get that? My idea of marriage is not one where I wake up get on cam and my husband does whatever else. As I have said before, I will NOT be in the industry while I am married. I am against it. If it works for others great but it is not something I will do. Just like escorting is not something YOU will do. Why do I think my future husband is better than any man that will agree for his wife to fuck the whole us/fuck herself on cam? Because that is my opinion. I don't know if you read a lot of my posts but I'm not easily swayed, you can't change my mind, I like what I like and my idea of a true loving relationship is not the same as yours and that's the bottom line love.
I do not attack you, I just don't get some of your points. The world is full of lazy idiots, users etc. It does not matter if the woman is a sex worker or a nurse or a teacher, they can use her. So women have to keep their eyes open, that is true. But this webcamming is just a work as well as shopkeeping. And it can be done in a healthy relationship just like any other job.
*sigh* and TO SOME, escorting can be done in a healthy relationship as well. I will say it once last time, camming is not better than escorting, escorting is not better than camming, dancing is not better than camming because guess what? In the eyes of corporate america, you will always be looked at as a slut so long as you continue doing this work? Don't believe that? Ask anyone!
Honey please stop being naive. When a guy hears that a girl is a dancer he automatically think "slut", "free sex", "lots of money". Same with escorting and dancing. You cannot compare teaching and nursing income to escorting trust me.
My point it a lot of people look at us as cash cows and prey on that myth.
Sex workers can also have great partners, and nice relationships. You kinda talked like "woman is a sex worker = she will only find assholes who use her for her money". And that is simply not ture.
Not what I said but keep making up your theories 8)
TouringGirlfriend
05-15-2011, 12:41 PM
Oh and of course the ladies that take care of their husbands/boyfriends will not agree with me. Isn't that expected? LOL! I don't care if I'm in the minority. I have my beliefs and yall have yours. :) So there is no point in trying to pick my brain about it... there is no point saying the same thing over and over again. Like I said before, All that matters is if you are happy with your lifestyles... not what some random person on the internet says about your relationship right? :)
Fridays
05-15-2011, 12:47 PM
most deff. right
I don't take care of him. I would if it would be needed but it is not. He would be fine without me, and we were fine while I had 0 income for years, cause of university. I was not camming when we started our realtionship. I didn't even know that there was such thing lol.
He is currently in war, fighting, so that we can afford a bigger house when he comes home with the money, so I really refuse to think that he is a stupid lazy bum, just cause he lets me cam. :) I rather think that, gawd I would hate to be in a 9-5 job, but I would also hate to make no money at all and it is super great that he doesn't prevent me from doing this great job.
Now I understand your points, I don't wanna change your mind I only ask you to accept that there are more possibilities apart from a sex worker woman is being used by men.
Like he took care of me for a long long time, and now he is still making great efforts to make our lives even better than it is. I adore his passion towards his work, even if it does not result in massive savings and huge salary. He does what he can, and I won't tell him that he should do something else cause this doesn't pay enaugh or I leave him.
It is actually enaugh to live an average life combined with my income, even if my income was not from the sex-industry, but I wanna do this for now. He is a cool guy and he didn't change at all when I started camming and started making nice amount of money with it. Like many more guys here.
I also had a lazy ass user before. I was like 19. And that is actually it was a fking LOL situation, I didn't even a have a perm job that time. I hardly had any money and I still had one idiot like that. I fired him very fast. :P
I was also brought up by a family where dad made 5x-6x as much as mum and took care of us. I was sticking to that model for a very long time. Actually I ditched men who didn't earn enaugh in my opinion, cause didn't think about them as they were good enaugh for me and my future kids. After a while my opinion changed. My mother also "helped" me change that. She explained me that money was not everything and it was not the 20s I could earn money as well, and the point of the marriage was to go thru the difficulties together, stand together, work on our life, and goals together, make the beloved one happy with any means we have. Me him, him me. It is about both of us giving, not him only. The saying giving is better than receiving gets its true meaning here. Giving from your heart, not from your wallet only.
My mother would like my dad help with the housework and the other craps that are not parts of the old-fashioned roles, she would loved it a lot more than the extra money he brings in.
I also have a cousin she is with a douche guy. She is a social worker, earns little money only, her guy earns lot more, and still she is the one being used. I try to open her eyes up, but she is scared to be alone and rather stays with him, knowing that he is an idiot. Stupid girl indeed.
Her guy is the type that will tell her how many diapers she can use a day, cause diapers are too expensieve. My man earns half what that douche earns but I know, if it was about our baby's diapers and even if I had no income, he would tell me to use all the diapers in the world if we need to, and he will buy even more, he rather would not eat. When I had no income, and we lived on his money only, he bought me a pair of boots, that cost like 250 dollars. That does not sound that bad for you, but in our contry many people earn like 300-350 dollars a month! He hardly had money that time, but he knew that I saw those boots in a magazine and was longing for them for months. And he bought me. Just to make me happy, no matter what else he could not pay for that month.
So when I look around myself I am sooo happy that I have a husband who would do ANYTHING for me, even if he doesn't earn so much money. I could get richer ones, but not better ones. :) So now when it come to his dreams, or when it would come to taking care of him, I would be happy to help him, and support him, trying to make him happy with anything I can do for him.
So trust us, many girls are smart here and knows when guys are using them. And there are cool guys out there who wont use women no matter if they are sex workers or governors or shop keepers. :P
ginger_belle
05-15-2011, 01:42 PM
I live with my boyfriend and I cam in a separate room that has big wooden doors so it's nearly sound-proof. We are really open and supportive of each other so it's never been an issue! And he has his own job as well.
tinydancer23
05-15-2011, 05:18 PM
nevermind.
Smurfette
05-15-2011, 07:50 PM
There's really no point in arguing about this anymore, but I thought I'd put another 2 cents in, lol. TG, you keep talking very amiably, saying that we all have our own lives and we should be happy living the way we want to, whatever works for us, etc. But by making statements like this:
That does not mean I want a stay at home dad, a bum, a useless dick that's ok with me escorting because he cannot do anything for himself.
..you just continue to insult us for our choices. Sorry but I can't help but feel insulted when you call my fiance a lazy bum, a pimp, accuse him of using me for my money, and spending my money on other camgirls when I'm not around (I think someone else said this but wtf? lol), etc. etc. And with these insults, you're also basically calling ME an idiot, because obviously only an idiot would get involved with a man like that.
I know you didn't call us out personally but by insisting that ALL men who date sex workers or who don't make the most money in a relationship are bums, pimps, assholes, etc. you are basically saying "your man sucks and you're an idiot... but it's okay, LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE!! :)"
Putting a smiley face at the end of your statements doesn't make your insults any nicer. :P I really don't want to start a big fight or anything I just want to make clear what upsets me about this thread and about some of the comments made (not just by you TG, but also by devon and others). There is a very HIGH AND MIGHTY vibe. TG I think it's fantastic that you're independent and I can understand your opinions on marriage/relationships, etc. You won't hear me making statements like, "Well you can do what you want but being a selfish money-grubbing gold digger who ditches her man at the first sign of trouble isn't the life for me!" but that's the kind of stuff you continue to say to us in this thread (only opposite, obviously lol)
TouringGirlfriend
05-15-2011, 08:02 PM
I find it interesting that when I said "useless dick, indirectly pimping" you took it as if I was talking about YOUR husband.
TG I think it's fantastic that you're independent and I can understand your opinions on marriage/relationships, etc. You won't hear me making statements like, "Well you can do what you want but being a selfish money-grubbing gold digger who ditches her man at the first sign of trouble isn't the life for me!" but that's the kind of stuff you continue to say to us in this thread.
1.) That's the thing it would not hurt my feeling one bit. I am very secure in myself that I don't let a group of girls on a website get to me. Oh and I have never ditched ANYONE in trouble.. heck my friends can tell you that. I'm always there for them and anyone that needs help.
2.) I was not trying to butter anything up. You should know me better than that. I am very glad that yall are content with your arrangement. I know exactly what I don't want and it's the kind of arrangement most of you have. Most 21 year old I know still live with their parents, they think I'm weird and say I grew up to fast.. no biggie. Doesn't bother me any. Sometimes people are a certain way because of their past experiences. You never know what a person has been though. I learned how to surviive on my own, take care of myself and not depend on any man starting at 17 years old, started living on my own at 19. I am very happy with the cards that life has dealt me.8)
Smurfette
05-15-2011, 08:23 PM
I find it interesting that when I said "useless dick, indirectly pimping" you took it as if I was talking about YOUR husband.
Like I said, I know you weren't referring to me or him directly, but by insinuating that ALL these men are bums, pimps, etc. you basically ARE talking about him. Otherwise you would have said something like, "Well I think these stay at home dads TEND to be bums" which is very different and I wouldn't have had a problem with that. But it's the "stay at home dad = USELESS BUM" accusation that makes me feel like you're pointing the finger straight at me and the other girls in this thread.
I'm secure in myself too, but occasionally I can't help but take part in a friendly forum debate if it's about something that strikes a chord with me. ;)
Anyway, needless to say I'm happy with my arrangement and I can tell you're very happy with yours TG, so that's all that matters. :P
cherryblossomsinspring
05-15-2011, 09:57 PM
Jesus Christ this thread blew up! and yes I've read all the replies and thanks to everybody who expressed their feelings on this one...
After reading it all, it amazed me how some models have "old fashioned" values when it comes to relationships ....YET they do adult work... these 2 combined make no sense to me.
I want to write so much now but I feel Im going to be attacked so I wont..Ill write a tiny bit..
My personal relationship is NOT like some people assumed in this tread... just saying.... My man earns alot, he has a steady job, he has great moral values, he loves me for what I am as a person, and I love him for what he is as a person ( read PERSON not Bank account!).. we do not have kids yet, but We want to. We love each other! We are a family. it seems from these posts im one of the few who has a family. The rest are single....
When did LOVE start to be compared to money and to who provides for who? If thats the case then the more a man provides/gives you money.. the more u Love him? thats not love.. thats financial exploitation..
this is besides the topic anyways! and thats fine I guess Its all a maze..
the topic was created so that models who live with their hubby/BF can share ideas as to what and how they deal with camming when they are not alone in the house..and those who are single to share feelings about it too in the sense of making/not making great money .. and not about whos BETTER then who!
Yes, you can have a healthy relationship while still camming and just cause some choose not to have a relationship at all, does not make you better then the rest.
Arguments in a relationship will happen no matter what. no matter what job u do, people argue. that does not make them lame and losers.
alot of name calling in this thread and assumptions that are just WRONG as other says if you do not know all the circumstances, u should not judge, and even then. you should not anyways, cause all of your judgement is based of your personal experiences and personal values,.. unless your an unbiased professional counselor!
This thread is more like throwing stones at each other. just made me very upset, for real...
If someone who CHOOSES to support their man is a dumb bitch, then whoever said that, if shes still doing online sex shows, is a freaking dumb whore who cant get a GOOD real life job!I s this what we have to go down to, to make a point?
We all live in a glass house here...
and No one is BETTER then anyone else!
Want to live old fashioned? Want to be all high mighty giving advice to people how to live their life? Then stop camming today cause you;re sinning too much...
The men who are so lame staying at home dads and taking care of the house are probably the same damn men who pay for your shows and who you value so much!. ever thought of that?
and rest asure IF you have been camming in the past and later on in life you choose to get in a relationship, you better tell your SO the whole truth about it..
the person u are today is because the person u were yesterday.
there is no escape from the truth. Ever.
Im gonna go back to work now, still trying to figure out how to make my room sound proof... maybe paint a few more coats of paint over the already 20 coats lol
Ok I understand your feelings on this but look again at your original post.
You mentioned that he doesn't want to hear anything about "your job". He doesn't even like it. You're trying to sound proof the room. You trying to find ways around him to work so that he can't hear you. It apparent that he's not 100% behind what you do , but you still do it . Now my question is what would happen if you quit. Would you be able to survive off of his income comfortably?
My point is that if he can't provide 100% to what you're accustomed to having then he cannot complain in any way. You shouldn't have to fear giving your paying customers what they deserve. If you truly feel that this is an issue then he's not as supportive as you originally thought. The whole out of sight , out of mind seems to be ok as long as your pay is in sight , in mind.
I see there are other women here that have partners that are truly supportive and they work on things together. I may not understand this kind of connection, but it's there so I can respect it. If it works for them then it works for them.
But yes I have old fashioned views but really the sex industry is one of the oldest know professions.
Also the money and love topic. Saying "When did LOVE start to be compared to money and to who provides for who? If thats the case then the more a man provides/gives you money.. the more u Love him? thats not love.. thats financial exploitation.." When men view sex the way women do, when men have to spend money on tampons and sanitary napkins, when men give birth, when men use birth control, when men breast feed, when men have pre-menstral symptoms.... then we will be equal. Until that time comes Men will be viewed as the providers.
Also for a note if men and women viewed sex the same then we would all be out of jobs. You talked about financial exploitation in a relationship with a man you love, but he loves you enough to allow yourself to sexually exploit yourself for money?
Also the stay at home dad situation. Not sure why he's at home unless he's sick, injured or has a mental illness. If this is the case then yes things happen and you do what you have to ...to keep your family afloat. There is nothing wrong with that. Shit does happen.
Also if your man does pay for everything and you just like some extra spending cash then perhaps it's not that important to do to make him feel uncomfortable. Usually when a fight happens over something "sexual" it doesn't go away. It may get buried for now and it may surface later on. I would suggest a very honest sit down with your s.o. to find out what he really feels about your job. If he's truly supportive then you should have no problems with going into depth about your day at work. It shouldn't be something that you have to hide from such an understanding man.
Ohh and it was me that stated he's using your money to spend on some other cam girls. Obviously all guys will not do this , but lets look alittle deeper:
Once again men are not women and most men have a hard time dealing with sharing their s.o. with strangers for money. They may enjoy the money, I mean if they don't have to pay then great, but in the back of alot of men's minds, they will see you as a whore. Not all but many. Some may be cool with it forever with no issues. Others will be cool with it now but secretly resent you for it and may later lash out. Look at other threads around and you'll see it for yourself.
Some men have cheated on strippers,escorts, etc why? Because they couldn't handle it. They needed to ONE UP her in some way. Show her that he's wanted as much as she is. Ego, insecurities, etc. Then there are the ones that think they've scored with a woman that will fuck them and pay for everything too. How lucky they are that she's into the woman's lib movement and now he can sit back and play Mr. Mom without the sagging breasts, the vagina pains, the leaky bitten up nipples, the pumping, the hormone imbalances etc. He just grabs a bottle and Insta Mom? Lucky guy.
Many men hold women in high regard and feel that providing for the woman they love is not exploitation but a right, a duty and of course an honor.
When it comes to gay or lesbian relationships then in these relationships equality is true. But what I've seen in many the masculine female/male usually provides for the feminine male/female. Almost makes you wonder why this would be the case.
I responded to your thread as you wrote it. If you said ooh I'm just looking for extra space to cam what do you think, I believe you wouldn't have gotten the responses you did. You mention his dissatisfaction which is why I personally hit the roof saying who the fuck is he to tell you shit! Do you!
But alas you're in love and you're going to have to work with him on what's the best option for what he's ok with you doing.
kittykrane
05-16-2011, 04:56 AM
For those that don't know me, I'm in my 40's and I wanted to share my viewpoint as someone who has been married almost 15 years and cams.
I didn't start camming until 12 years in to our marriage, and we were both VERY traditional for that first part of our marriage. In fact I was a churchgoing, "good wife" and never though in a million years that I would end up camming .
Then as I grew older , my perspective on things started to changed. I found that I was sick and tired of the "mold" and wanted to explore my sexual side (dominant), which I had suppressed for years. With his encouragement and support, I tried camming. In no way did he pimp me out. Heck, he is not even my sub!
Sometimes when the kids are all at school and he is telecommuting (he has a great stable job), I will work upstairs and if he hears me yelling, it doesn't bother hi. Before I even started camming, I tried it for free and when I saw the interest from the guys, I said "I should be getting paid for this"..and that's how it all took off. This part of my life is separate from who I am as a wife and a Mom and accounts for maybe what? 5 or 10% of my weeks since I only work 8 to 10 hours a week. In no way does it interfere with our relationship.
There a great guys out there and yes, there are lazy bums and assholes. I was once married to what I thought was the image of a "real man" (beer drinking, football loving, all around Mr personality, non stop sex drive), but behind closed doors, he was an abuser. So the second time around, I married the quiet, nerdy (but hot) nice guy who wasn't in to all those macho things, and he is one of the kindest people I know who works hard for our family. It's ok to have traditional views, but life doesn't always work out the way you want it and you have to adjust as you go along. Just do what works best for you! Peace.
cherryblossomsinspring
05-16-2011, 04:56 AM
Also to add if you really want to get away from Old Fashioned views then why use your pussy to pay bills? That is old fashion.
Try going out there and do some plumbing, putting up some sheetrock. Put a new floor in a rat infested building on the east coast. Look at how your nails just never see polish again, Enjoy the crazy muscles you get when you've been jack hammering all day. Re wire someone's home as an electrician. I mean get the hard hat on and really put the work in and scratch those imaginary balls every few hours.
I mean if you still want to cam, change your room description to GAY/LESBIAN ONLY. See how much money there is in camming for only women since we're in a new day in age. Why exploit a man's desire for sex if it's just so old fashioned nonsense for him to desire women to such a level of wanting to pay for it. Women are into it now too right since it's a new day. Why not cam for only women? Try getting on cam in box briefs and wife beater... Hair growing out of your arm pits, cigarette hanging out of your mouth , and you're watching the game and burping loudly. Then yell out at the cam saying "hey babes want to see my man clit". Right this should yield some great money.
If you want to truly get away from old fashioned views then stop using these same views against others to make a buck.
TouringGirlfriend
05-16-2011, 04:59 AM
Also to add if you really want to get away from Old Fashioned views then why use your pussy to pay bills? That is old fashion.
BWAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OMG :rotfl:. It sure as hell is.
Damn I need to make this my siggy.
TouringGirlfriend
05-16-2011, 05:05 AM
I was once married to what I thought was the image of a "real man" (beer drinking, football loving, all around Mr personality, non stop sex drive)
That's not even close to my definition. I hate beer and I hate football but hey kitty you sound like you have an awesome relationship.
kittykrane
05-16-2011, 05:05 AM
If the above is directed at me, I don't use this to primarily pay bills (not that it hasn't). It's more of a hobby for me, but heck since it's paying, why not? I dont think any of us are in any position to judge others on here. We all do the same kind of work, whether we are attached or single. We are all online sluts, hootchies, etc... I'm not here to attack anyone's choices. :)
kittykrane
05-16-2011, 05:08 AM
That's not even close to my definition. I hate beer and I hate football but hey kitty you sound like you have an awesome relationship.
Nope, and it shouldn't be, but in the social group that I grew up in, that was what us gals found attractive. Pretty pathetic eh? Ah well, live and learn.