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mediocrity
05-27-2011, 02:55 PM
Good old gaslighting. It sucks you went through this, but I'm glad you recognised it and steered clear.

He sounds kind of gross, physically and emotionally, now that you've done the breakdown.

lemiwinks31
05-31-2011, 11:01 AM
It's with that realization that I am bowing out of the dating world, at least for the time being..





Why? you are now smarter than you were before. You learned quite a bit about men in just a couple of dates with what you found out to be a douche....

You will recognize the next one that much quicker.....or......maybe the next one wont be a douche.

You are now better at dating than you were. If you continue to learn from your experiences....you will be better at it the next time..and the time after that.

You can continue dating.....just go in with your eyes wide open....and dont get it into your head that the next guy is the perfect guy...until he has proven it to you....

Camateur
06-13-2011, 11:03 PM
UPDATE: Weird development

Got a text from him after about 2-3 weeks of nothing (since calling him out)

He said: he knows it's weird and he's not expecting return text but he was thinking about how things ended and felt bad about it and just wanted to say sorry. He said he got a bit upset because he felt I was calling him a liar but now he understands the point I was trying to make. He signed off with hope you are well, take care.

What the F?

BlkSharpie
06-13-2011, 11:29 PM
crumbs...everyone has been calling him on his bullshit, and hes trying a last ditch effort to evoke a response out of you, and hopefully see you again to pick up where he left off, but this time wiser...Im sure hes learned a thing or two about covering up his tracks in the past few weeks.

I would not reply...just delete it for sure.!

lfr
06-14-2011, 02:08 AM
[

I would not reply...just delete it for sure.!
yeah, he sounded douchey. definitely didn't know how to treat a woman he was supposedly genuinely interested in.

Camateur
06-15-2011, 01:50 AM
Bumping this for more opinions from past repliers

cherryblossomsinspring
06-15-2011, 03:00 AM
Bumping this for more opinions from past repliers

Yippe best revenge is for a loser to call you back!!

Glad you bumped this!

Well I feel he's been trying to duplicate you and guess what? HE CAN'T

He realized that he was close to scoring but was being selfish and cheap and he got tripped up on his bs and lies of the future.

So now he's back to finding someone else and he's having no luck. So he's sending out his I'm so sorry messages to see if someone will bite.

Remember that date where he would have slept with you after chicken and green beans?

Or lets not forget the last date where he mentioned " I want to cook for you again" and also the let me take her on a real date at #3?

Again the only reason he did this was because he felt he was so close to scoring which is why he ended the date with " home cooked meal next time" which to me translates to " I'm going to bend her over next time for sure".

Then you caught him up on the multiple profiles and still logging in to check on other "hopefuls".

I'm also pretty sure he was taken aback by your looks but was also trying to play it cool. Really he got caught in his own bs and is now trying to weasel his way back in with pathetic late apologies. A guy always knows that if he goes away and comes back a woman may just forget all about that silly fight and remember the "good times".

Ignore and delete.

He may also be trying the "let's be friends" move and will then try and hurt you with details of dates he went out on with other women, money he spent on them that he never did on you, even things he's bought them. It's just another loser move. Then you may rethink or even kick yourself for missing out on what could have been a great guy. You may become extremely attracted to him all of a sudden only to get sloppy left over sex. He'll disappear and never call you again . Or he'll call you to apologize for having sex with you and say wow I really miss *** insert fake woman's name here***".

All of this is again far fetched but I've heard alot of stories that end down this path. He's a master of bsing so just delete the text , smile that he made a desperate move to get you back in the game, and move on.

So the chicken comes back to roost! Hahah more like roast!

Redwolf
06-15-2011, 05:41 AM
I would guess that he had one or more other 'candidates' on whom he was using the same tactics. It sounds like he has similarly struck out with them in trying to hit a home run by being cheap. So . . . you get a text, "Hey, baby." That or he did run through a couple of girls: he dined them (without wining them, hehe), screwed them, and moved on.

It is possible that he may actually have figured out that you are a sharp girl and no pushover and the best girl out there responding to his initial contacts, that he made messed up in taking the chance on going cheap with you. It sounds like he is disappointed that his tactics didn't work with you, yet he still wishes that they would of worked out. Maybe now he is kicking himself. He lost out on a great girl by playing games/going cheap.

I would guess that the game playing did him in more than the not spending money. If the cheap dates involved meeting for coffee and chitchat, a walk through a beautiful park, or enjoying Shakespeare in the park or free outdoor concerts instead of his repeated attempts try to get you to his bedroom, you may have considered it differently.

Hopefully, if enough girls shut him down for being a cheap ass, he will change. Doubtful. Douche bag.

Jessie_tinydancer
06-20-2011, 01:42 AM
Ill admit didnt read all the replies, just the OP... but being cheap is a deal breaker for me. You dont have to be rich but for heaven's sake dont be cheap. We are here for a good time, not a long time.

Camateur
06-21-2011, 11:30 PM
@cherryblossomsinspring

Thanks for this thoughtful response! He's such a dumbass I can't believe I took him seriously enough to even ask advice on here. On the flip side I'm glad I did because I learned so much. I definitely agree that there was a motive to his apology.
My best friend was super excited when I told her. She was like "OMG it takes so much for a guy to apologize and admit he was wrong; call him!"
I was like "uh no it's not a real apology and it's just a tactic to get back in touch"

But had I not learned so much in the past month I probably would've agreed and called him and started up something again.

and get this: I caught him in another lie, remember when I asked what other dating sites he was on and he lied and then reluctantly said "name of site" well guess he forgot that he's also on ADULT FRIEND FINDER!!! His Profile is all cheese "I'm a man who seeks adventure" um right cheapo; on what money? lol. This after he states in his dating profile he's looking for a relationship. GAG

Yes---- the chicken comes back to roost! --He sure did! LMAO

Camateur
06-21-2011, 11:35 PM
I would guess that he had one or more other 'candidates' on whom he was using the same tactics. It sounds like he has similarly struck out with them in trying to hit a home run by being cheap. So . . . you get a text, "Hey, baby." That or he did run through a couple of girls: he dined them (without wining them, hehe), screwed them, and moved on.

It is possible that he may actually have figured out that you are a sharp girl and no pushover and the best girl out there responding to his initial contacts, that he made messed up in taking the chance on going cheap with you. It sounds like he is disappointed that his tactics didn't work with you, yet he still wishes that they would of worked out. Maybe now he is kicking himself. He lost out on a great girl by playing games/going cheap.

I would guess that the game playing did him in more than the not spending money. If the cheap dates involved meeting for coffee and chitchat, a walk through a beautiful park, or enjoying Shakespeare in the park or free outdoor concerts instead of his repeated attempts try to get you to his bedroom, you may have considered it differently.

Hopefully, if enough girls shut him down for being a cheap ass, he will change. Doubtful. Douche bag.


Thanks for your response! I hope girls do stop letting guys treat them so badly. I really do believe now that a guy who takes a girl out and goes cheap on her is treating her badly. I've got nothing against a guy for being low on funds but that guy better get his finances together before he worries about dating, you know?

I do think he somewhat realized I wouldn't put up with his shit given the way he phrased his text " I don't expect a text back..." Basically him telling me that if it were him he wouldn't text back.

Redwolf
06-22-2011, 04:55 AM
A real apology is not done by text.

And, of course, he wrote "I don't expect a text back." He sounds just like a kid who says, "I bet you won't/can't do it." Reverse psychology.

Camateur
06-22-2011, 09:53 PM
A real apology is not done by text.

And, of course, he wrote "I don't expect a text back." He sounds just like a kid who says, "I bet you won't/can't do it." Reverse psychology.

Right! especially because I made it crystal clear to not text me at all when we were seeing each other.

carmen_b
06-22-2011, 10:04 PM
Cam :
I'm sure you are a hottie who can certainly get a guy to at least ATTEMPT to impress a bit by taking you to dinner or something ! Haha. It sounds like he's a dude with A LOT of TIME on his hands ( maybe way more time than money ) with clues like being on multiple websites ect.
It doesn't matter ! This dude doesn't fit YOUR purposes of finding someone nice and normal ! He failed ! Just move on with a better guy.

BIGJosh
06-22-2011, 11:40 PM
Yes because wanting an adult relationship means being cheap. I prefer women who don't enjoy to just sponge off of their partner and contribute just as much, women who actually have their own career, aspirations and make their own money, who can actually contribute something to an adult relationship other than 'being a woman and deserving me paying for everything'

That is what a true relationship is, give and take, not let the woman take all the money because she is a woman and deserves it. That' just childish thinking.

A true relationship involves equal give and take, equal partners.

It doesn't have to be a big deal as you make it as, there are A LOT of independent women out there looking for adult relationships, unlike yourself because 'you're so hot the man should pay for everything'

Is it so much to ask for when going out with a woman and I buy a $150 dinner that she pay $20-30 so we can go to the movies? Some women act like this is the end of the world.. LOL. To me it shows that I need to get out of there and that she isn't showing that she wants me around.
I'm not looking to 'take care of someone', I'm looking for a relationship

I'm not into courting women with money to 'win them over', I'm looking to meet an independent woman who wants to get to know me as much as I do her.



Comparing men paying you at a strip club to making your partner pay for everything because 'all other men do' is just ridiculous! and that's what you're saying.

Post oif the year....spot on. "Many Many" women feel this way, and do this...thats why it's so difficult, IMO, for a guy to meet a "nice girl", or to want to have any sort of meaningful relationship w/a woman. A relationship is 50/50, not 100(men), and the woman 0.

Jessie_tinydancer
06-23-2011, 08:45 PM
^ thats not being cheap... thats balance in the relationship. I am a very generous person. I will give my partner everything I have financially and emotionally. Being cheap is not sharing those things. I dont think not cheap = paying for everything. Not cheap is being generous and not expecting something in return.