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J.D.
07-18-2012, 09:59 PM
What books do you recommend? My favorite book so far that has totally changed my life is The Four Agreements. I loved what you said about beliefs being subconscious and not knowing that we are slowly little by little changing our framework/belief system.

Ellieanna
07-19-2012, 09:12 AM
Hi JD,

The Four Agreements is great!

I think in terms of getting into subconscious beliefs, I recommend 3 different books. What is good about all of them is they have a method/technique you can employ. It feels silly at first but strangely enough it definitely works. It's really odd to do - like being your own therapist, but really sitting down and going through your life and figuring out what you have come to believe due to your past and experiences, and realizing that those beliefs that you have stored away and now operate with, are not necessarily "true".

All these books are on Amazon and under $20.

A simple method is Morty Lefkoe's "Re-Create Your Life". (There is an expensive program attached to this that is not necessary, the book covers the system and then there is some free stuff on line)

My absolute favorite, with a little more science in it is Joe Dispenza "Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself". This book is really great.

"The Missing Piece in Your Life" by Rob Williams - this is about a belief-healing system named Psych-K which is very effective but is expensive and needs to be done with a professional practitioner. I tried it and liked it but even with I think the book is still worth reading after the other ones if nothing else is working and your problems are severe.

Thanks again for all your great posts!

;D

ssstripper
08-09-2012, 12:34 PM
I find the best way I have dealt with stripping emotionally is to not think that its negative/bad/etc. I don't let others effect how I feel, if they say its degrading or my favorite "someone like you shouldnt be here" I don't take it personally. They aren't me, so they don't know. I think that's the key, dont take anything customers, family members (if your brave enough to spill the beans) or anyone else says to you about you, personal.

DiamondGirl
08-10-2012, 03:55 PM
I haven't been dancing all that long, but this is really making me think hard about how I want to approach the rest of my dancing "career" ...thanks so much!

sasee
10-17-2012, 03:29 PM
The Dance of Fear and The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie
The Road Less Traveled by M Scott Peck
How to overcome your Secret Fear of Failure.. Recongnizing and Beating your Achilles Syndrome by Petruska Clarkson

anything by Emmet Fox is a real eye opener - (Sermon on the Mount & Alter Your Life are very good)
anything by Zig Ziglar - great sales books

sasee
10-17-2012, 03:48 PM
I'm a little late to this thread but thought it was great and wanted to contribute.
If you are dancing and have possibly associated feelings of negativity, depression anxiety etc in my experience and by all my studies, it is highly recommended to try acupuncture, chiropractors etc to open up the energy flow in your body.

I can recommend great books on this subject too if anyone is interested. Stay well, ladies! Thx Also Rolfing is excellent for helping negative emotions stored in the body.

FemmeNikita
11-04-2012, 05:33 PM
Thank you so much for this post! I am a newbie dancer - only been dancing for a month- and was absolutely taken advantage of in VIP my first few times (not sexual acts, more touching in ways i didn't want to be touched and kissing). I felt like because i was being paid hundreds of dollars for half an hour that I had to give them SOMETHING. Im just now beginning to realize that it doesn't have to be that way. Also, I really love this job and I know that if i let it turn negative, I won't be able to do it.

Naida
11-05-2012, 08:41 PM
I'm glad you managed to find this thread early, Nikita! This job can definitely be fun and beneficial in many ways, so it's in our better interests to learn early how to stick up for ourselves when customers try to take advantage of us. Definitely made me like the job much more when I started sticking up for myself.

Also, I love Sasee's suggestion to try Rolfing. First chance I have, I'm doing it.

legallyblonde502
01-05-2013, 03:06 AM
What do you do if a customer is touching you? For example, grabbing and continuously holding onto your ass during a lap dance. Are you allowed to stop them or is that something dancers have to be OK with?

summerbre
01-05-2013, 10:26 PM
^No way that's not something you have to be OK with! A good thing to do is to get in the habit of laying down "ground rules" before you start dancing. I usually just tell customers "You can't touch my boobs, butt, or the goods. But lucky for you I can touch whatever I want." Or something to a flirty/cute effect so they know my boundaries, but are still engaged. It might feel a little unnatural at first to assert yourself this way because a lot of men tend to expect to be able to touch, especially in clubs that are more high mileage, but the more you do it the more you get used to it. Then, if they break your rules, they KNOW they are breaking the rules and it's up to you how you handle it from there. (3 strikes they're out, finish the dance and move on, etc.)

xoxoroxie
01-22-2013, 02:35 AM
happy to have found this thread and to hear from other dancers, it is really helping to prepare me for this gig. i like dancing and the idea of making money .. buttttt i watched videos of strippers dancing topless and was like wow, this stripper stuff is intense! I felt sick to my stomach and fearful about the environment I'd be in, but - I am gonna try it at least and use these tips to keep myself grounded, using the character 'Roxie' as my defense. thank you, ladies

AnthroGirl
04-04-2013, 04:16 PM
One thing I've had to learn is not to take it personally whether you have a bad or a good night. While I knew rationally that I shouldn't let a slow night reflect on my self worth, sometimes it still got to me, especially when I was 18-19. What I learned was that in order to really be immune to feeling low self esteem when my cash was low, I had to also resist the temptation to feel too validated when I had a good night. I mean, it's one thing to be celebrate and be cocky for a moment, but on a deeper level you can't let your self esteem rise and fall with your cash intake. The flip side of getting your ego stroked by a good night is having it deflated on a bad one.
Of course, how much you make can be feedback on your hustle, (although it's more often random variation, or dependent on extant factors like weather and season and economy etc) but if you're going to measure your success that way, you have to be detached from it, like it's a game.
But it seems like people on this site have their heads on straight about that already--much straighter than I did when I first started dancing.

Zooey
05-25-2013, 09:44 AM
^So true. I just started dancing recently and it's been so hard to take the good with the bad and not think about a bad/good night as a reflection on me personally. Thanks for the advice... It's an important thing to hear.

Pennyxxx
07-24-2013, 09:17 AM
Hi. I'm so glad I've seen this post. I've literally only just done my very first night of stripping. I wasn't expecting much. I was quite happy just to observe for the first night. However, this man came in (a regular and a millionaire). He knew that I was new and even though he spent a lot of money on me dancing for him he was pressuring me into meeting up with him outside the club "just for lunch, no strings attached." I know this is bulls***. I know what he really wants. He could clearly smell my innocence and so has started chasing me. I was meant to go back for my second night tomorrow but have cancelled because he said he'd be there. He is trying to make me believe that I can trust him and trying to impress me with his money which he deliberately flashed in my face - thousands! - but I am smarter than that and I'm so glad I saw this post that reinforces this point. There's not enough on the web about the potential dangers of stripping and girls like me need to be made aware as soon as possible. My only worry is that when he does come back he will continue to pursue me.

But I will say NO.

susanbows
08-22-2013, 11:20 AM
thats correct!!!!

MomoMania
11-29-2013, 01:46 AM
I love the Four Agreements *thumbs up* and the Mastery of Love! One of my favorite stories is this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHO2yqkt-zE

Has so many great stories like that to recreate your intimate relationships.

MISS_TENAY
12-11-2013, 02:01 PM
Love love love this tread i tottally feel this way.. Deppessed stressed forced sometimes at work. You inspired me to look at things in a iffrent better brighter light

KikiGem
01-26-2014, 10:24 PM
Thank you EXCELLENT post. I feel like this speaks to all women to a certain extent. Anyone who is giving pieces of themselves away, getting kicked around by a**hole men and not even realizing it, and before they even realize it they've changed from innocent girls to bitter people carrying a lot of pain.

It's very hard to be a woman- to be a dancer/sex worker/cam girl is a hundred times harder. I still have a lot to learn. Thank you for this post!

dezire
02-11-2014, 02:07 AM
[QUOTE=KikiGem;2584763]Thank you EXCELLENT post. I feel like this speaks to all women to a certain extent. Anyone who is giving pieces of themselves away, getting kicked around by a**hole men and not even realizing it, and before they even realize it they've changed from innocent girls to bitter people carrying a lot of pain.


That is what happens.

KikiGem
02-11-2014, 10:33 AM
[QUOTE=KikiGem;2584763]Thank you EXCELLENT post. I feel like this speaks to all women to a certain extent. Anyone who is giving pieces of themselves away, getting kicked around by a**hole men and not even realizing it, and before they even realize it they've changed from innocent girls to bitter people carrying a lot of pain.


That is what happens.

Does it HAVE to be that way though?

modelwillow
04-03-2014, 01:08 PM
Its 19 now almost 20, and I look back at sex work i did at 18 and even 6 months ago and I think...wow I was seriously lowering my standards.
Always keep to your standards even if your in a financial crunch. Know your morals and beliefs in yourself.

Love to all ladies

cleopatra216
04-18-2014, 02:28 PM
I think the most important thing is maintaining boundaries and remembering your goals and reasons for dancing in the first place. Its easy to lose your identity as a human in this industry because you start to feel your purpose is to entertain at all cost. Its easy to forget you're more than just an entertainer. Allowing more than you're comfortable with is a slippery slope & usually leads to abusing alcohol or drugs to numb the pain. Dancing can be the best or worst thing to happen in a persons life. Unfortunately not everyone is cut out for it & lose themselves.

Sensuall
04-22-2014, 07:05 AM
This is great! I am interested in dancing and trying to learn as much as I can about it. I really think it is all about why you are doing it, your honesty with yourself, the respect you have for your boundaries which just related back to self esteem. Its good to hear!

witharibbononit
06-24-2014, 11:45 AM
I wish I would of found this post four years ago :\

Alice_Frenchie
06-28-2014, 01:27 AM
Hello :) I agree with you on a lot of things Jd :) except this full time job last paragraph :) I was working 5 dayshifts a week stripping because I wanted to. I loved that job more than any other jobs I had, and I was very happy to go there for work everyday for almost 2 years. I just believe it depends if you like your job or not, whether it's stripping or something lese ;)

Everything else is good advice and that's good you mentioned it for newbies!! :D

xx Alice

Krystaal
07-25-2014, 05:20 PM
while stripping. I saw a new thread that inspired me to share this with you ladies. I've been a dancer on/off now for almost 7 years, and I wish I would've done things differently, or maintained a different mentality while at work, or else I wouldn't have gone through what I've been through, psychologically.

A friend of mine told a me a statistic, I'm not sure her source, but she said that dancers suffer worse Post Traumatic Stress Disorder than Vietnam war veterans, there was an entire book written about this, and I will find out what it is.... anyways, I KNOW I have suffered from this, and still am, based on my mentality and how I worked/let customers affect me. The problem with getting into stripping, is nobody really tells you what to do, how to handle things, etc. because it's taboo, and until you find a forum like this and get good support, you are left on your own to figure things out. This is why you will see from time to time a BEAUTIFUL newbie dancer in the back giving head to an old man for $50...... because she didn't go into this industry with enough.... I don't want to say self confidence, but maybe she was too naive, or whatever. Unfortunately, many times these girls end up with pimps, all because they didn't know any better.

To make it worse, men like the above mentioned prey off girls like this! That's why, if we think back, when we were new, we would get approached by that cliche guy saying, "Why do you work here? You are too good for this... " If you notice, those guys only approach the newer, virginal strippers, with the blinking red light on their heads, who will actually listen to their crap. I haven't been approached by one of those guys in years!

Anyways ladies, here is some wisdom from me to you.... so that you don't go down the wrong path, or sacrifice your mental health and well being while stripping. I hope other girls can chime in and add to this....

1. Always look at stripping as a job, NOTHING MORE. A huge mistake many girls make is letting it pour into other aspects of their life, to where it becomes a lifestyle. You are there to "clock in", make as much $$$ as possible, and "clock out", and LEAVE your stripping persona there. Always keep it separate, like a split personality. Don't act stripper-ish outside of the club. You weren't like that before you started, keep true to yourself, because stripping, if you let it, can heavily change you and your core values and belief system. This change sneaks up on you, it happens little by little, until you are a completely different person from when you started. Stay strong and look at it as a job, not a lifestyle.

2. Maintain your boundaries and comfort level! While in the club, you are at the top of the totem pole. Don't EVER let anyone let you think differently! You are the most important person in the business, more so than the customers, management, DJ, etc. They are all there to accommodate you. YOU make your rules and set your boundaries. You don't have to do something you are not 100% comfortable with. Don't ever feel like you "have" to let a guy touch you in any way or look at you, talk to you, whatever because he's giving you money. You don't! And you shouldn't! Because even letting a guy caress you in a personal way, although this is not the same as grabbing your boob, if it gives you an uncomfortable feeling STOP IT IMMEDIATELY!

I can't say this enough, because each time you allow a customer to over step his boundary, you are doing huge psychological damage to yourself, you don't even realize it. Pretty soon, you will be letting customers touch you in uncomfortable ways every night, because they're nice and you don't want to say anything because they're spending money. This will destroy your self esteem, TRUST ME! Every time you allow something to happen, however small, for a thousand dollars, you will feel beautiful and sexy, making so much money for so little work, it will feed your ego and build you up, but at the same time you don't realize it's chipping away at your soul and psyche, and changing how you view yourself.... I don't know how else to describe this. Stripping is a farce, in this way. Don't let money evoke an emotion..... know that a lot comes with that thousand dollars you just made, and you will have many bad nights as well, after all it's a numbers game.

3. Don't do it full time! Have something on the side..... whether it's school, a day job, a trade, a business, ANYTHING! You will go crazy otherwise. When you feel like, "Oh shit, I HAVE to go into work tonight because my rent is due..." and you don't want to be there at all, you feel forced into it, you sacrifice your mental and psychological well being. You also will be fresher and more positive going into work when you actually have a choice in being there, and you will make more money. When you have something else that is your main focus, and stripping is supplemental income, or you know you will be graduating school and on to better things, you won't feel so forced to be there, you will be sooo much happier, trust me!

I was stripping full time, going back and forth between Dallas and Las Vegas, making a ton of money, but..... I had nothing else. No plans on going back to school, no plans on getting out, nothing. Just stripping. I began to feel hopeless and became very depressed. This had a major affect on my relationships with men, which I won't even get into now... but now that I have my insurance job and I'm a student, I can't tell you how much happier I am!

I will add some more if I think of anything, and I hope others can contribute some basic rules/things to remember when getting into this industry.... I hope this helps you guys


Amen sister! When dancers allow customers to push and trample their boundaries the end result is compromised values and consequently lower self esteem. This is the most important truth to remember. I always take new dancers under my wing and let them know that I am a friend if they need me for anything from drying their tears to body spray or wet wipes!

redxxxRose
07-30-2014, 03:28 PM
This is a great post!!! I think the job of stripping messes with your head and self-esteem in a way that cannot be compared to other more "typical" jobs. I have been a retired dancer now for about 3 years and even though I miss the job sometimes, I DO NOT miss the stress and the insecurities I dealt with on a daily basis.

Great post!!! Thank you for sharing!!!

thanks LazyButterfly,i am retired now for 1.5years…i am really on the fence about the stripping job…i miss giving of 'myself' and connecting to people in a special and very passing way,lingering on that feeling of your 'special powers'…i went back a few shifts last year and a few this year and was moderately repulsed with everything lol (they were not 'extras' clubs). i've realised i cant do this job if i don't need the money badly but it never occurred to me back in my dancing days.in my head i was 'doing well',spoiling myself regularly and 'living large' :)

P.S i miss being a stripper.what a headf*ck!! :)

redxxxRose
07-30-2014, 04:21 PM
I started dancing and I had 6 men tell ask me " why are you working here, you are way too good for this place" and that just killed me and I began to question myself and why I was working, I couldn't even get through my 2nd night. It is a very tough industry and you have to be thicker skinned in which I thought I was but I have stopped. It's been on my mind to go back but as you all know customers can be harsh and say things that you would rather forget. So thank you for posting this, it's been very nice to hear this side of this job..

Katia when i was new to stripping i would attract these lame corrosive well wishers too,i thought they are the ones telling me the truth and nobody else cares…a few years into the job i just know for sure that they are hypocrite bored self important time wasters,they are in a lap dancing club patronising newbie strippers because thats all they are good for,thats the kind of 'fun' they have here,thats whats doing it for them-to make a beautiful girl listen to what comes out of their mouth,because they go to a usual night club and nobody cares about anything they have to say! i bet you had this cute unsure expression on your face that draws them in like a magnet.Try to dance again if your you have to,but this time remember my rule no 1: if they don't spend money on you in any way,they can shut up,as simple as that.Tell them oh no you wish you didn't have to strip but you have to pay your rent just now and desperate for cash injection,if they 'care' about you,they will 'help' with the rent lol

Nikatrina Fury
08-12-2014, 12:55 PM
@Kylea2 You said it! People like you inspire me!

calinacain
09-30-2014, 05:30 PM
Very emotionally intelligent comments. It took me a long time to look at my past as a picture on the wall, with my feet firmly grounded in the present and my eyes looking out to the future. The picture is a mixture of beautiful and not so beautiful parts, but if it were any different, I wouldn't be standing in the same place...and I kinda like where I'm standing. The important thing is learning from your mistakes and learning to accept yourself as you are, the good and the bad.

calinacain
10-01-2014, 05:47 PM
Hugs to you PP. That was very brave of you to share. Sometimes lessons have to be learned the hard way. Good for you for reflecting on what happened and how it made you feel. That kind of self-analysis will go a long way in dealing with similar situations in the future.:hug:

lovetapp
10-18-2014, 01:32 AM
I remember when I first started dancing, I noticed how my reality started to get warped. So after 6 months, I signed up for a trade school and made sure to get into a normal environment before it was too late. One of the best things I could've done for myself at the time. I cut back to only working a couple days/week and it was great. Later, I made sure to always be involved in spiritual workshops or art or yoga retreats to help keep me connected to my center.

One of my biggest mistakes was buying a house that was too expensive for my own good. And the realtor told me it was an advantage cuz I could write off the interest in taxes. What I DIDN'T know at the time...was that in order to write off the taxes, I first had to claim that I made enough money to pay for the whole house plus make it look realistic that I had other expenses, etc. So I ended up having to claim way more every year just to prove that I could afford that house versus if I was paying cheap rent somewhere....

Also, I trusted some real con men (not all boyfriends either) who came to me w/ideas of business and led me to believe that I could make money w/them and their ideas. After getting conned, I had to learn the hard way that I really needed to only believe in myself and follow my own dreams. I shorted myself by giving people the benefit of the doubt. In the end, I always got the short end of the stick.

Some people think that strippers deserve to be screwed over cuz they take advantage of guys for money. I was a rare "Big Hearted stripper," who believed in giving a guy money back that he didn't mean to pay me (if it was too dark and he couldn't see he was giving me 100's instead of 20's...and I always wanted to be honest w/myself and the other guy. I wouldn't lie to get the guys in the VIP, i.e. telling guys that I would do special stuff in the back, etc. I'm only saying this cuz I don't think I had bad karma coming my way for being a stripper. My problem is I didn't pay enough attention to my red flags and I just wanted so badly to believe that if I believed in someone enough, that they would always do the right thing.

So Remember...believe in you First and Always.

iamthefox
05-16-2015, 05:52 PM
This forum is such a great emotional support system, and this thread is so affirming. Glad to be here. :)

chloe25
07-04-2015, 08:25 AM
Re: Preserving Your Emotional/Psychological Well Being
Excellent thread. I have danced for 8 years and relate to everything that was said!!! In my stripping career, I've completed a degree at Uni, but for 4-5 years I was stripping full time with not much else happening except heavy partying. I can happily say I am no longer doing this and have totally given up booze and everything else, but for a really long time stripping was everything to me, and my lifestyle was very unhealthy!
I'm now back at Uni and have taken a 6 month break from dancing to get my life on track, I will return in a few months but only on a part time basis. 2-3 nights a week tops!
I have some comments to make for new dancers. As I fresh dancer I left the club with customers, had sex for money, did all kinda of things with customers and I did loose my sole in the process.
In Australia it is impossible to perform sexual favours inside a club but girls do often leave the club with customers. I would highly recommended girls never do this, especially not alone, where it is just you and customer. You can't rely on what they have told you in the club, you can't be sure they will pay you, if that is what you have arranged. Never do anything without getting paid first.
It is true, the industry can really damage your self esteem. Girls should never dance because they have to, I only ever danced because I wanted to, and I still suffered psychologically, because I partied too hard.
If you want to make money and hold onto it, don't drink and use drugs. The amount of Saturday nights I had to call in sick because I was not recovered from the night before is ridiculous.
I agree with the author of this post, have something else in your life aside from stripping. I'm looking at finishing my second degree and only want to return to the industry strictly to make money for a few years then move onto opening my own business.

Miss_Foxxx
09-11-2015, 12:25 AM
Replying to another thread I wrote about my stress management techniques and thought it might be good to post it here too! :)

Try doing your makeup and hair at home (maybe you already do), that helped me a lot, to be in my own space listening to music I love instead of a crowded noisy dressing room. Before you walk out the door sit down, set a timer on your phone for 5 minutes. close your eyes, breath as deeply as you can, and relax! Try to clear your mind and not worry about anything, I let any stressful thoughts or feelings go through my head, acknowledge them, and let them go with each breath out.

It sounds cheesy but simple meditation like that has changed my life and it will reset your head. Then when the alarm goes off you are ready to walk out the door, into work, and hit the floor refreshed and beautiful!

Also take dressing room breaks once an hour, sit down and again take a moment to look in the mirror, take a deep breath and feel relaxed before you head back out, it only takes a few minutes and helps shake off frustration or stress about a hard night.

Bring healthy and light snacks like fresh fruit, mixed nuts, and rice cakes, anything that will be easy to eat to keep your blood sugar up but won't weigh you down when you are dancing u a sweat. Also drink plenty of water, I would always have a big Nalgene bottle of filtered ice water in my bag so I didn't waste time getting it from the bar, plus it tastes better than tap water. Being hungry and dehydrated happens without you realizing it and bumps up that stress level so fast! Dancing is hard on your body so treat yourself with care!

I am a recovered alcoholic and used to drink at work to cope with my anxiety. When I quit I had to develop a new way to cope, but with that method I was much happier at work, and last two years of dancing sober I made twice the money. I got these tips from friends, my therapist, and AA combined Being relaxed, confident and focused makes men line up to spend that $$ on you!

chloe25
09-11-2015, 12:35 AM
Replying to another thread I wrote about my stress management techniques and thought it might be good to post it here too! :)

Try doing your makeup and hair at home (maybe you already do), that helped me a lot, to be in my own space listening to music I love instead of a crowded noisy dressing room. Before you walk out the door sit down, set a timer on your phone for 5 minutes. close your eyes, breath as deeply as you can, and relax! Try to clear your mind and not worry about anything, I let any stressful thoughts or feelings go through my head, acknowledge them, and let them go with each breath out.

It sounds cheesy but simple meditation like that has changed my life and it will reset your head. Then when the alarm goes off you are ready to walk out the door, into work, and hit the floor refreshed and beautiful!

Also take dressing room breaks once an hour, sit down and again take a moment to look in the mirror, take a deep breath and feel relaxed before you head back out, it only takes a few minutes and helps shake off frustration or stress about a hard night.

Bring healthy and light snacks like fresh fruit, mixed nuts, and rice cakes, anything that will be easy to eat to keep your blood sugar up but won't weigh you down when you are dancing u a sweat. Also drink plenty of water, I would always have a big Nalgene bottle of filtered ice water in my bag so I didn't waste time getting it from the bar, plus it tastes better than tap water. Being hungry and dehydrated happens without you realizing it and bumps up that stress level so fast! Dancing is hard on your body so treat yourself with care!

I am a recovered alcoholic and used to drink at work to cope with my anxiety. When I quit I had to develop a new way to cope, but with that method I was much happier at work, and last two years of dancing sober I made twice the money. I got these tips from friends, my therapist, and AA combined Being relaxed, confident and focused makes men line up to spend that $$ on you!

Thanks for your post miss fox, I am a recovering addict and I do 12 step too! it's really refreashing to hear someone with a similar story �� I love what you wrote about meditation, I'm not currently dancing, but my new job is sales and really stressful. I often have to stop and breath and say in my head "God grant me the serenity....' Thanks for your post! X

Miss_Foxxx
09-11-2015, 12:47 AM
Thanks for your post miss fox, I am a recovering addict and I do 12 step too! it's really refreashing to hear someone with a similar story �� I love what you wrote about meditation, I'm not currently dancing, but my new job is sales and really stressful. I often have to stop and breath and say in my head "God grant me the serenity....' Thanks for your post! X

Aw you are very welcome! Love the serenity prayer. I am an atheist but I think of prayer in the Buddhist sense of setting good intentions. My other favorite is one of the ninth step promises, " we will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace"

I still get a lot of anxiety at my office job but stripping was a great time for me to learn new skills! Now that I think about it I do everything I posted above at my "normal" job too!

chloe25
09-11-2015, 02:00 AM
Aw you are very welcome! Love the serenity prayer. I am an atheist but I think of prayer in the Buddhist sense of setting good intentions. My other favorite is one of the ninth step promises, " we will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace"

I still get a lot of anxiety at my office job but stripping was a great time for me to learn new skills! Now that I think about it I do everything I posted above at my "normal" job too!
I think of prayer in the same way... Setting an intention 😀 you might like one of my other threads called Stripping and Spirituality.. Xxx

Jacindastar
12-04-2015, 06:49 PM
Any input on how to cope with depression and sleep pattern changes from the dancing schedule

Naida
12-09-2015, 05:31 AM
This is off the cuff advice, so take it with a grain of salt, but: I recommend at least 15 minutes of unadulterated sunlight a day, blackout curtains during sleep time, St John's Wort "in the morning," and a low dose melatonin "at night."

MissLiliLamour
03-11-2016, 04:28 PM
Thank you so much for writing this!

MissIvyGreene
05-02-2016, 02:36 PM
Great topic.
For number 1. The advice I give to newbies is to realize that this is their new business. Treat the money like it's part of your business. Work on your business, don't let the business work you. Come up with a business plan and take it seriously.

The talk about core values is especially important. I started dancing before I knew what my core values were, and let dancing shape them. Years later, I have identified my core values that make my heart smile and I do my best to stick with those during challenging moments. It's brought me much less confusion than in the past. "Remember who you are"- Mufasa
Realizing your core values before assuming a persona will help with identity issues that I myself have faced from using the "split personality" method. Identifying who you are to yourself before dancing can translate to customers as confidence, which ultimately can make you more $$. During my time as a dancer, 9 years, I've realized I was never had a different persona, I've just been hypersexualized and put under a microscope for my sensuality. People love to watch me slink around the stage and my booty shake. I've always been me whether I was in the club or at home. I was just confused on WHO exactly I was, so it was conflicting and painful. NOW, sticking with my core values really helps keep me in the most healthy head space possible.

2. Exactly... and...If you give a mouse a cookie....

3. Or if you do do it full time- know your goals; even then it can be difficult. We have the luxury of not having to work full time, so why? :P Enjoy life, explore new people, places, and things. Do life on your own time. You've got it.

Blondegf4u
05-30-2016, 06:13 PM
Thank you for this post. I am new to this site as of a few minutes ago. I love dancing I make a great living and have a "normal" personal life and happy relationship. Most turmoil comes from dealing with other dancers and co workers and feeling obligated to be nice to save myself some grief and I then eventually explode because they are not people that I like or what to converse with. I could handle customers well, but it will never stop amazing me that men will insult and reject gorgeous dancers and go and spend money on a chunky girl is with cellulite in faded cotton panties. That is their poor self esteem feeling those are the only women they could get. Exotic dancers are meant to be exotic and better than women off the street. This comes from clubs hiring anyone and everyone to make house fee, etc. There is nothing I loathe more than managers and DJs trying to be entertained by me for free. Many nights I drive home crying, but the income makes it worth it.

chasestrip
06-27-2016, 09:50 PM
Thanks for the great share! Great checklist to maximise balance of work/life in the stripping industry and deal with the issues that inevitably arise.

Isabo
01-01-2017, 07:20 PM
Thanks for posting this. This made me realize something important. I think you're right when it comes to following your plan a.

For a long time I've been going to college and university because of my parents while at the same time having a part time minimum wage job which wasn't paying for much so I had started stripping.

But all this became so overwhelming that I couldn't focus on my grades, they were going down, I became very depressed. I couldn't keep up with making any money at the club because of this and my relationship with my boyfriend was getting worse because of all this.

Anyways all this to say that I know what I want to do in life and having finally now the strength, willpower and confidence to follow my dreams is the best thing that has happened to me so far. Just the excitement of beginning my journey towards a goal that I make for myself, and no-one else, makes me happy.

I thought I would share this with everyone :)

Isabo
01-01-2017, 08:20 PM
This is amazing! I've joined this forum about a year ago and am finding a lot of these posts very helpful. I've been stripping for about two years on and off and am still finding the difficult sometimes. I get insecure and discouraged sometimes, but once I go home I try to shake it off and to do better the next day.

All these sources seem very interested and I'm very enthusiastic about checking them out.

Thanks very much :)

baii
05-13-2018, 05:03 PM
Thank god for this thread. I’ve recently been stressed/upset/confused because of working as a dancer. I don’t have any motivation to go to work anymore and I hate every second when I do go. I think the problem is that I hate men. I think of them as psychological and emotional vampires whose sole purpose is to dehumanize me and waste my time any way they can (while paying the minimum amount to keep me around). Or they want to grope me as much as possible for a $10 one -song dance. Dealing with them is fucking exhausting. Like training dogs. “No you can’t finger my asshole and sniff it for $10”... “but the girl before you let me do it for $5! “ I just spend every shift trying to figure out how I can do as little as possible for the most money and it’s so mentally and emotionally exhausting because they’re pigs who don’t understand why I’m not just happy as hell to pop my pussy out for a quarter .

RyanXO
06-20-2018, 10:33 AM
Thank god for this thread. I’ve recently been stressed/upset/confused because of working as a dancer. I don’t have any motivation to go to work anymore and I hate every second when I do go. I think the problem is that I hate men. I think of them as psychological and emotional vampires whose sole purpose is to dehumanize me and waste my time any way they can (while paying the minimum amount to keep me around). Or they want to grope me as much as possible for a $10 one -song dance. Dealing with them is fucking exhausting. Like training dogs. “No you can’t finger my asshole and sniff it for $10”... “but the girl before you let me do it for $5! “ I just spend every shift trying to figure out how I can do as little as possible for the most money and it’s so mentally and emotionally exhausting because they’re pigs who don’t understand why I’m not just happy as hell to pop my pussy out for a quarter .

Definitely get a vanilla side job if you don't already. And I am not sure where you are dancing but also changing clubs can help. Guys can be grabby assholes and will try to cross your boundaries anywhere. However, if almost every single situation involves guys trying to do things like that to you, sounds dirtier than normal. Dancing is harder now than it used to be (I've just been getting back into it myself) but things like trying to finger your asshole isn't the new normal.

sell4bidss
09-06-2018, 05:09 AM
I’m glad that you liked this post. I tried to make it as easy to understand as possible so I’m really happy that it came through to you as well as it did. Thanks.

linabelaidi
11-22-2018, 08:43 PM
So, sure, it's very important to preserve emotional well being