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rickdugan
06-24-2011, 06:19 PM
I dislike drama in a club and work hard to avoid it. But every so often I come across a dancer who, while she is sitting with me, makes a point of trashing other dancers in the club. In fact, it seems to happen more frequently nowadays.

This is not remotely attractive. Now I will be the first to admit that I sometimes overlook this if all other things are going well, but it certainly detracts from my opinion of the girl. Hell, sometimes I will put on a bemused smile and say something like, "you're kidding" in a sympathetic voice if I am building towards something later, but all it is really doing is knocking down any respect I might have had for her.

Now there is no doubt that some girls attempt to do this as a way of positioning themselves as somehow superior in the eyes of the customer, but in reality the girl that handles herself with more class is more likely to have my long-term patronage.

bem401
06-25-2011, 02:39 AM
Contempt for the competition exists both inside the club and out but I've only seen it displayed by the girls I was friendly with once I got to know them pretty well and it was displayed by nearly all of them to varying degrees. It wasn't being done to turn me into a customer but it might have been being done to keep me as one. That being said, the display of contempt for certain others never abated even after my time as a customer ended. Contempt of customers as well, whether newbies or regulars, was not in short supply either.

yoda57us
06-25-2011, 12:32 PM
I'm not a fan of this sort of behavior in the least. It seems pretty clear that some dancers use it as a means of self promotion while others are just plain miserable and can't seem to pass on an opportunity to complain about anything and everything...

Aurora_Sunset
06-25-2011, 12:42 PM
The only time I ever dissed other dancers was if a customer noticed another girl being a bitch and specifically asked, "is that girl a bitch?" But I quickly learned to even keep my mouth shut in those cases. Not just because it made me look bad, but customers cannot keep their mouths shut. For some reason, a lot of them think it's funny to start shit by telling other dancers that another girl was talking badly about them - I've seen customers even make stuff up to pit the dancers against each other. I don't know why that's funny... but apparently, it is...

So it came down to never being able to trust a customer to keep his mouth shut, plus being nice to the other girls made me look good. I had a lot of customers praise me on how I talked up other girls and would say "would you like to tip the pretty lady?" when they came around. I just thought of it as common courtesy... girls who would ignore me and keep rambling to their customer when I walked up for a tip were just plain rude in my opinion. But apparently, common courtesy among dancers is so rare that it impressed customers, so double points for me!

yoda57us
06-25-2011, 01:57 PM
So it came down to never being able to trust a customer to keep his mouth shut,

Words to live by...

azdd
06-26-2011, 08:47 AM
I don't have much patience for this either, Rick. I find it happens most often with young dancers, often dissing more experienced (read older) dancers, especially those that are obviously making bank. They don't seem to get it that there are reasons those older dancers make more, they're called regulars, and you don't cultivate them by trashing your co-workers, complaining about management, and dumping on the customer all your other sob stories we don't wanna hear!

Anastasia Foxx
06-26-2011, 08:51 AM
I've had younger dancers talk shit about me from time to time, and it doesn't bother me, because generally they tell customers I'm a extras girl (I'm not) which then sends said customer running to me to give me all his money! LOL

And knowing that will happen, I ALWAYS say the nicest things possible about the other girls. Ya know, because I'm greedy like that!

ZePeanut
06-26-2011, 04:41 PM
Thankyou for this post! This behavior is extremely irritating and I find it hard to believe that girls could be potentially benefiting from being so rude.

shift_6x
06-26-2011, 04:44 PM
This happens all the time. I dont see there ever being an end to it. Its just the nature of the beast and the cut throat competitiveness involved. It isnt pretty but this isnt the only occupation that has this "dissing."

MiaStarr
06-26-2011, 04:46 PM
I find it hard to believe that girls could be potentially benefiting from being so rude.

There's no benefit in this type of behavior - it's immature and only makes the shit talker look bad at the end of the day.

4everresolutions
06-26-2011, 05:03 PM
It's funny, because I've had more than one customer try to bait me into saying something terrible about another dancer. I've had guys point out other girls and ask "Is she a bitch? I bet she's a bitch. She looks like a bitch." And I'll try and say something non-comittial like "I don't really know her, she doesn't work here often....".

I don't say anything negative about other dancers. Like, ever. Because you never know who's whos regular and if it will come back to bite me in the ass. But WHY so some guys act like they WANT to hear the drama? It's annoying. I don't go into their workplace and demand to know which co-workers are assholes.

rickdugan
06-26-2011, 05:14 PM
I've had younger dancers talk shit about me from time to time, and it doesn't bother me, because generally they tell customers I'm a extras girl (I'm not) which then sends said customer running to me to give me all his money! LOL

And knowing that will happen, I ALWAYS say the nicest things possible about the other girls. Ya know, because I'm greedy like that!

LMAO. Funny, I was having a thought along those same lines when I read your post. I guess some of these girls don't understand enough to know that some guys in a strip club might not find the concept that a girl is "dirty" to be such a turnoff. ;)

But, much like in your case, all too often the girls spreading that crap don't know what they are talking. Heck, in reality they probably don't really care how true their accusations are anyway

Outside of accusations of being dirty, some of my other favorites include:

1. She is dating the DJ, Manager, etc., and he'll be watching your dance with her.
2. She has nasty [body odor, crotch cheese, etc.].
3. She washes her outfit in the bathroom sink before her shift.
4. Don't let her take you for a dance - she'll rip you off.
5. She was recently in jail for [whatever].
6. She is on drugs.
7. That guy over there is her pimp/boyfriend.

As others have said, there is no upside to this, at least with me. In fact, some of my best times in the clubs have been with girls who were trashed by someone else.

sananeko
06-26-2011, 05:15 PM
I met a few customers that tried to start a dissing chat but I'm always polite. Maybe too polite sometimes... I had one try to make me talk bad about a girl and I knew nothing about her so I asked him if he can introduce her to me so I can get to know her. He walked right out without another word. But I think its not very helpful to dissing other dancers, your there to get dances and that is not one of the best ways to do it, it just waste your own time.

domino.damoiselle
06-27-2011, 09:34 AM
The only time I ever dissed other dancers was if a customer noticed another girl being a bitch and specifically asked, "is that girl a bitch?" But I quickly learned to even keep my mouth shut in those cases. Not just because it made me look bad, but customers cannot keep their mouths shut. For some reason, a lot of them think it's funny to start shit by telling other dancers that another girl was talking badly about them - I've seen customers even make stuff up to pit the dancers against each other. I don't know why that's funny... but apparently, it is...


This, exactly. Not only that, it's rude and trashy to knock on other girls for any reason. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. It doesn't matter if you know the girl is offering extras or on drugs, or a total psycho. It's really none of our business as dancers, and it's best to stay out of it.

Vyanka
06-27-2011, 09:42 AM
It's funny, because I've had more than one customer try to bait me into saying something terrible about another dancer. I've had guys point out other girls and ask "Is she a bitch? I bet she's a bitch. She looks like a bitch." And I'll try and say something non-comittial like "I don't really know her, she doesn't work here often....".

I don't say anything negative about other dancers. Like, ever. Because you never know who's whos regular and if it will come back to bite me in the ass. But WHY so some guys act like they WANT to hear the drama? It's annoying. I don't go into their workplace and demand to know which co-workers are assholes.

Me too. I always get the guys who bitch about the fat girls in the club. I giggle and quickly change the subject back to me. I never ever say anything negative about anyone to a customer. It looks childish.

Aurora_Sunset
06-27-2011, 09:52 AM
But WHY so some guys act like they WANT to hear the drama? It's annoying. I don't go into their workplace and demand to know which co-workers are assholes.

I don't understand this either... I think guys are so caught up in their stereotypical thoughts about strippers that they want to see the "action" personally so they have an awesome "stripper" story to tell the next day or something. I was sitting with some other girl's friend one time and he kept prodding DR stories out of her and telling his friend next to him, "Pay attention! It's stripper drama! Stripper drama is the best drama!" He just loved it... it's like reality tv to some of them...


Me too. I always get the guys who bitch about the fat girls in the club. I giggle and quickly change the subject back to me. I never ever say anything negative about anyone to a customer. It looks childish.

I HATE it when guys try to make fun of the bigger girls to me. There was a girl working once with me who was obviously a big girl - no denying it. But she was literally the nicest girl I met in that club. Two guys I was sitting with kept making horrible comments about her and saying "oh the whale is making its rounds" and nasty stuff like that. They kept asking me why a girl like that would dance and I would just say "She's really nice. I'm sure she has her customers that love her." I felt horrible that they kept going.

lfr
06-28-2011, 09:57 PM
yeah, I get told a lot, but from the beginning, I just listen and tell them, 'i don't get involved in that stuff'. I mean, I understand, it can be very competitive and stressful at times, and hell, I've been there, I know, in work places, stories and all get told all over the place, so a SC should really be no different.

I just kinda take it in as the 'flavor' of a place and I place no judgement on the talkers or whom they are talking about. I won't make any judgement on someone until I meet and get to talk to them personally.

also sometimes people just have to talk something out, good or bad, and it comes out in certain ways.

sparky72
07-01-2011, 01:06 AM
It's funny, because I've had more than one customer try to bait me into saying something terrible about another dancer. I've had guys point out other girls and ask "Is she a bitch? I bet she's a bitch. She looks like a bitch." And I'll try and say something non-comittial like "I don't really know her, she doesn't work here often....".

I don't say anything negative about other dancers. Like, ever. Because you never know who's whos regular and if it will come back to bite me in the ass. But WHY so some guys act like they WANT to hear the drama? It's annoying. I don't go into their workplace and demand to know which co-workers are assholes.

I had an ongoing argument with a friend over this, he wanted to hear the drama to better decide who to spend money on and I have an altitude of ignorance is bliss.
He didn't want to spend money on a dancer until he gets to know her and hearing the drama was part of getting to know her

I don't like hearing drama I don't want to know what happened in the dressing room. I have a bit of a stutter and once when I went to to strip clubs I meet an Asian dancer I like and I was told was mocking me in the dressing room because of my stutter. When the Asian dancer came back over later I didn't know what to believe and ever since then when a dancer starts to say anything bad I try to change the subject

rickdugan
01-31-2012, 06:15 PM
Outside of accusations of being dirty, some of my other favorites include:

1. She is dating the DJ, Manager, etc., and he'll be watching your dance with her.
2. She has nasty [body odor, crotch cheese, etc.].
3. She washes her outfit in the bathroom sink before her shift.
4. Don't let her take you for a dance - she'll rip you off.
5. She was recently in jail for [whatever].
6. She is on drugs.
7. That guy over there is her pimp/boyfriend.

I collected a new one the other night, which was "Instead of working her shift and earning money to take care of her baby, she left the club early, with a bartender who is a coke dealer, to get high."

My fav said it in passing as if she was just sharing club gossip with me, but I have no doubt that this was specifically targeted. The girl about whom the comment was made caught my attention when I was recently in the club, which did not escape the notice of my fav. My fav also knows that I have hangups relating to mothers mistreating their kids and that I'm not a fan of drugs. Net-net, the comment was very carefully crafted. Whether it is true or not I of course do not know, but I have no doubts about my fav's motives in sharing the information.

I sometimes wonder if there is any escaping this type of behavior. I was a little surprised that my current fav would say something like that, but she did.

yoda57us
01-31-2012, 07:56 PM
I sometimes wonder if there is any escaping this type of behavior. I was a little surprised that my current fav would say something like that, but she did.

Sure there is but it will mean walking away from a dancer that you are attracted to. I ran into a gal that I hadn't seen in about three years last month. For a few months, back then, she was a steady fav of mine but I lost interest when I found out that she was trying to start drama with a couple of other dancers that I was spending on in the club. At first, I avoided the drama by avoiding that club. Eventually the only dancer left there was the one who was the trouble maker. I could have gone back to that club and enjoyed her company but I decided that she wasn't worth it. I'm too old to put up with jr high back-stabbing.

Kessler
02-01-2012, 02:29 AM
If I wanted to hear office gossip and tales of back-stabbing, I would have stayed at work and gotten paid while listening!

I would think, optimally, dancing ITC in the club is like anything else - keep your head down, don't worry about what others are doing and do the best job you can. At least, in my experience, the dancers that do that with me end up walking away with everything in my wallet! ;)

rickdugan
02-01-2012, 08:07 AM
I would think, optimally, dancing ITC in the club is like anything else - keep your head down, don't worry about what others are doing and do the best job you can.

If only it were that simple. ;)

SCs are competitive environments and customers that spend real money on one gal, over an extended period of time, do not grow on trees. And, IME, the more money there is at stake, the more the drama ramps up when (1) the guy seems to be taking an interest in another girl; or (2) another girl is trying to lure the guy away.

I have been dealing with this, on a lighter level, for many years in my road clubs, where even though I often only visit a particular club one or twice per year, girls that I have previously spent money on (translation: taken out for OTC p4p) remembered and were fairly territorial when I returned to their clubs.

However, in the last couple of years I have been much more active in a local club and have, at times, been a meaningful source of income for a couple of girls. All I can say now is Holy Shit as far as the drama goes. I have tried to control it, but in all candor with mixed success as a customer really cannot control how the dancers interact with each other.

yoda57us
02-01-2012, 07:54 PM
I hate to say it rick but the key here is NOT to be all that meaningful a source of income...

rickdugan
02-01-2012, 08:43 PM
I hate to say it rick but the key here is NOT to be all that meaningful a source of income...

LOL yoda. That is, of course, the obvious answer. However, if I did not become so then I firmly believe that my other activities with them would never have opened up as neither of them are the casual p4p types. In fact, I am fairly convinced that I was the only one who Sexy Italian was meeting OTC for p4p (for a number of reasons previously discussed) while she was my local fav and I still haven't figured out what Anne is looking for as she will not accept a direct p4p gig.

Now after this thing plays out with Anne, I'm not sure that I'll do this sort of thing again, but it has been fun. The differences between my local faves and my road friends are significant in that not only are Sexy Italian and Anne the two most beautiful women that I have ever taken OTC, but they are also elegantly sexy and quite intelligent. Now I have some fairly attractive road friends, but Sexy Italian and Anne really sit in their own stratosphere by comparison.

Net-net, on the whole it has been worth it, even if it is a lot more complicated than my traditional road games.

rockie
02-01-2012, 08:51 PM
At my backyard locations, the definition of "meaningful source of income" appears to shrink by the day and the "dancer dissing" has become more omnipresent.

yoda57us
02-01-2012, 09:21 PM
LOL yoda. That is, of course, the obvious answer. However, if I did not become so then I firmly believe that my other activities with them would never have opened up as neither of them are the casual p4p types.

I know that rick. I just figured I would let you say it instead of me...

rickdugan
02-02-2012, 05:46 AM
I know that rick. I just figured I would let you say it instead of me...

Okay, though at the risk of seeming to be a bit dense, I'm not sure what point you were trying to make in eliciting that comment from me...

yoda57us
02-02-2012, 05:48 PM
Okay, though at the risk of seeming to be a bit dense, I'm not sure what point you were trying to make in eliciting that comment from me...

Actually I wasn't trying to make a point or elicit a comment rick. We all know what your end game is in the clubs and it only makes sense that it takes cash to realize that goal. I didn't bring it up because I didn't think it needed to be brought up.

artman556
02-02-2012, 05:51 PM
when i was at a club this past weekend i had a few dancers tell me what she thought of other dancers

Kessler
02-04-2012, 05:13 AM
@Rick - I hear what you're saying. And believe me, I understand that when more money is in play, the dirtier the game gets in any business. I guess that's why I used the caveat "optimally', knowing "perfect conditions" are near-impossible. I think I was also amped up on caffeine, hence the exclamation points of uber-enthusiasm.

In the club I most frequent, the dancers know I'm there to see my fav. However, on one particular night, there was a stunning, new blonde. She approached early in the night and I informed her that I was waiting for my fav to free up. Didn't want to waste her time. She asks the usual - does she know you're here? You're came specifically for her? Standard questions - no harm, no foul. Cut to after an hour VIP with my fav. We usually talk for a bit at the tables - she goes to use the ladies room, and while I'm alone, the blonde re-approaches - was that you're fav? Are you done for the night? Hmm...are you sure you had fun with her? Are you really done? So no more dances tonight then, huh? You're going home now?

As usual, my fav handled it with grace - she saw what was going down and quietly sat off to the side while the blonde grilled me. No drama (maybe later in the dr, but not with me). She merely shook her head, and joked, "I gotta keep my eye on you". It's part of why she's a fav - times like this and how she chooses to handle it. Didn't even talk shit about the blonde because she knows it didn't need to be said. Her comment refocused me back on her without taking the low road. Needless to say, I was a smitten kitten.

rickdugan
02-06-2012, 05:58 AM
We all know what your end game is in the clubs and it only makes sense that it takes cash to realize that goal.

I'm not so sure that my clubbing activities fit quite so neatly into a little box. Out of the roughly 80 nights I spent in clubs last year, only a moderate % of those nights ended with p4p. My percentages would have been quite a bit higher if that was all I was looking for as I have plenty of clubs, within a 40 mile or so radius, where p4p is essentially a sure thing.

I recently wrote a thread about what I consider ROI in clubs, which I included below. I enjoy many things about clubs and dancers, with the potential for p4p with the right gal being only one element.

http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?166861-Defining-quot-ROI-quot

I'll also add that, in some of my road clubs, some girls with whom I've had relations have tried to steer me out of the clubs and towards direct OTC arrangements for future interactions. Now we both know that this would be ideal for some guys as they would be happy to save the money they would have spent in the club and just pay the girl directly, but I never accept these terms and it is not what I am looking for.

yoda57us
02-06-2012, 06:51 AM
I'm not so sure that my clubbing activities fit quite so neatly into a little box.

I'm not saying that they do rick. I think the same could be said about any of us. My comment was however directed towards a response you posted that referenced that particular aspect of your SC activities. I was reacting to that comment, not trying to put you in a box.

jbviper4
02-06-2012, 07:44 AM
As for the original question - I hate it when dancers diss others. In my local, one girl insists upon doing this even when it is pretty clear I think the other girl is cool (based on my time and spend rate) with said dancer. I even told dancer dissalot that I think shes cool and don't see (or care about) what she says about her.

Just drives more $$$ at fave.