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View Full Version : Have you become more comfortable with physical contact because of stripping?



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stawj
10-02-2011, 06:48 PM
Most of the time I hate the Customer Conversation forum, but I love threads like this one, where I can watch another stupid customer fantasy shatter to pieces.

Why so defensive? What exactly was the "stupid customer fantasy" that was "shattered to pieces"? I just asked a question out of curiousity. I don't really think there was any fantasy associated with it.

JayATee
10-02-2011, 06:51 PM
^ Lmao, she's the defensive one? ::)

stawj
10-02-2011, 06:56 PM
^ Lmao, she's the defensive one? ::)

Yes. And now it's your turn. :)

JayATee
10-03-2011, 08:23 AM
To be defensive assumes a level of caring on my part. Nice try though doll!

flyguy29
10-03-2011, 08:30 PM
Depending on the market and environment, I know many dancers do give extras in terms of contact. Of course, with gentleman courtesy and money, the mileage is tolerated and maybe even given with enthusiasm (at least that is what I experienced in Vegas clubs). My question to those who are ok who allow contact and feign enthusiasm, is it for good customer service to encourage longer dances and/OR is it more for providing better service becuase you feel it is part of the customer's experience?

femmefatale88
10-03-2011, 11:26 PM
I feel exactly the same as I did prior to dancing. The club doesn't affect me in that regard. I leave it behind when I go home.

lifetravelergirl
10-08-2011, 04:49 AM
Prior to working as a stripper I was more comfortable being touched. In the last club where I worked you had to do extras in order to survive or to at least be competitive and I was there because I wanted to be able to survive and to create a better place for myself in the world so I did what I had to do or I let guys get away with things in order to get that third, fourth or fifth dance. Anyway... the more I had to struggle and work and sacrifice myself in that environment.. the more I hated the guys who demanded extras and I came to loathe the guys who would try to finger me or suck on my tits. Really I lost any respect I had for men and boys because working in the strip club I constantly was confronted with the most base, stupid part of men (there were some good guys, not many though).

I mean if a guy goes into a strip club and he wants to get a few dances from a few different girls and try to suck their nipples, and those girls allow him to suck their nipples... imagine all the cumulative saliva and germs from all the guys before him and to me that's just plain stupid but anyway... I am not sure I can be with a guy anymore without reliving all the strip club trauma I exposed myself to. In the club where I worked it was like they threw us into a den of rapists and then would yell at us when one of the rapists broke the rules. No they wouldn't yell at the guy so much as they would yell at us which I guess was smart because it was better for business and when they yelled at the guy it was never when we were being threatened, rather it was a way to fuck up our money for the night because maybe we didn't tip out enough or something.

Short answer, no.

kdogg247
10-10-2011, 05:18 PM
This is an interesting thread. The general consensus is the opposite of what I would have guessed.

yoda57us
10-10-2011, 06:27 PM
This is an interesting thread. The general consensus is the opposite of what I would have guessed.

Honestly it's gone pretty much exactly as I thought it would...

smeca
10-11-2011, 08:14 AM
I'm more touchy with girl friends, as I will scooch them out of the way gently by the waist and stuff. With coworkers doing that I think it's kind of affectionate. I won't let any people I dont know touch me though. I haven't had much issue with really handsy customers, dancing has just taught me to be aware and strict with my boundaries. So now if anyone tries anything in a bar or somewhere they're not getting away with it. Before I wouldn't be aware what's going on someone would grab my backside, I'd be all annoyed and upset but not really react. Now no one has the right to touch me except my boyfriend. It's a good thing.

lifetravelergirl
10-11-2011, 11:56 AM
This.

I associate closeness with discomfort and possible danger.


This.

yoda57us
10-11-2011, 02:36 PM
Like I said, I wish I could un-read that stuff.

I know what you mean rick. Unfortunately you can't un-hear it either. The only reason I'm not surprised by the responses to this thread is because I've been hearing and seeing the same sort of stuff for years from current and former dancers. I know a few girls who used to drive down to work at Go-Go-Rama in New Jersey for a few weeks at a time back in the late 20th century. Back then contact was much higher than, if you can believe it, the clubs in Providence or many other high contact areas. Girls would deal with the grope-fest because the money was very good but many times they needed to take a week off before they would come back to work at their regular clubs. One gal in particular used to tell me that she couldn't stand the touch of any man for a few days after finishing a stint at Go-Go.

This not meant to beat-up on the OP as I'm not really sure where is was coming from with this topic but, seriously, why on earth would anyone think that getting groped, prodded and violated by strangers would make a woman more open to being touched? Over the years I've had dancers tell me that dancing helped them get over shyness or made them more comfortable around strangers but I've never had one tell me that it made her more comfortable being touched.

It's the same old story but people who don't understand it never will. Women who work in the sex industry do it for the money. Dancers don't dance because they like being naked in front of strangers and getting groped and prodded any more than escorts escort because they like sex with strangers etc...etc...

A woman may learn a thing or two about herself and human behavior of others while working in the industry but no one gets into it as a self-improvement endeavor.

zivlet
10-11-2011, 04:58 PM
I think I'm a bit more 'girly' since getting back into dancing. I will cuddle with female friends more, and I feel more comfortable about my body so I don't mind being hugged or touched so much BUT, having said that-I now get even more defensive if men try to grab my ass or grope me in any way, out of work.

I feel as if I usually hustle and if they do that, they have to or should, buy me-buy a dance or at least buy me a drink or tip me.

And that's a product of self worth and self confidence, not violation. I am happier with myself now.

I grew up hating people touching me because I hated my body and most people who wanted to touch me did it in a way I didn't like, or they were folk I didn't like. I feel I can say no now.

tcqueen83
10-25-2011, 05:49 PM
I never touched people when I was younger. But I grew up in a family that values personal space. Dancing made it more normal for me to hug n kiss people on the cheeks and I have a great handshake. But that's it. Now I have a big issue with my personal bubble of space being invaded. I think dancing just made me realize that guys that do this are just trying to get a feel in, while in the past I would have been naive enough to be flattered that he's "into me". I can't stand guys staring at me or hitting on me. I think it's rude and cocky and super obvious that all they're thinking is how they want to fuck me and they hit on any girl that'll take the bait. Men I consider datable behave like gentlemen. Besides, you try getting paid for something and then go do it for free when you're not even at work.Let me tell you that non dancers can feel the same way. I've never danced and I feel the same way about being hit on that you do. I really think it happens to all attractive women. Men want to screw hot women, no matter if you are a dancer or not. They will holler and harass women in clubs or on the street or wherever if you are dressed in a way that grabs their attention. Doesn't even have to be "slutty" attire. I've been dressed in club wear and had people say things but I've also been dressed in business attire and had people make the same comments. I think men are just RUDE in general sometimes.

The Boob
11-16-2011, 01:17 PM
I've become more uncomfortable during lapdances. Too many people touching me in my private zone. A bunch of smug touchers is what they are. I only do it anymore for the rare chance of seeing a migrating clipboard guy during the VIP. (They can be truly majestic.)

bigdog83
12-02-2011, 10:12 PM
I dont understand this thread....It seems like the girls hate contact from this thread. I go to clubs when I go to vegas. Have never been to a SC in my home town. I useally dont even touch her till she puts my hands on her. It always seems like in no time she is sticking her nipples in my mouth, playing with my dick, grinding me, etc etc....

I dont consider myself a big spender, once in a while I will do a 2 or 3 100$ 3song sessions with a girl.

What is a full contact club? I am guessing vegas clubs are full contact since you can touch the girls?

I dont get it :( Why are you telling me "dont be shy", encourge touching by teasing etc if you hate it so much? I am more then happy to have a girl let me touch her titties during a dance and thats it.

Otoki
12-05-2011, 01:39 PM
^^Has it occurred to you that some girls are OK with contact and some aren't? Besides, it shouldn't surprise you that even girls who are cool with a certain amount of contact for the right price don't want to be touched for free. If you put a monetary value on it, it SHOULD irritate you if someone tries to do so in an environment where payment is not included (in other words, outside of the club, when the dancer is off the clock, which is what this thread is about). Whether or not payment is normal outside of a SC doesn't change the value the individual has put on contact.

And there are plenty of girls in this thread who don't allow ANY customer-side contact during dances (including me). So, put me on the list of those who don't allow such contact whether or not I am at work.

As for the girls who allow contact despite disliking it, well, if their only club choices are places that allow contact, most of them find that they need to allow that contact (even if they dislike it) so they can remain competitive with other dancers.

No matter where you go you run the risk of dancing with someone who is putting up with something they don't like. I personally choose to turn down dances with people who give me a bad vibe or annoy me, but I'm in the minority. Just like waitresses and other service industry workers, a majority of strippers put on a happy face even while dealing with people and situations that are less than ideal. Some service industry folks love their jobs. I count myself among that number, and I think a lot of the women in this thread do as well. Putting value or a different context on contact doesn't mean we hate contact in general or hate our jobs.

Overall, your post is projecting your own interpretations of your anecdotal experiences onto the posts of women you have probably never interacted with in real life. "We" are not telling you "don't be shy" and encouraging touching because "we" have probably never danced for you before. I know I sure as fuck haven't. I find your generalizing use of "you" pretty irritating, but you PROBABLY didn't mean anything negative by it.

Otoki
12-05-2011, 01:56 PM
As an aside, I feel like dancing has given me far stronger boundaries and made me more likely to vocalize them clearly when I feel they are being pushed or crossed. I consider this a good thing.

I don't feel traumatized by touching. I work at no-touch clubs, so any snuggling or hugging is initiated by the dancer, so if anything this has made me used to the norm being "I am in charge of any contact which occurs to my person". And really, isn't that how people SHOULD think about their physical autonomy in general? I still enjoy contact, but I am now much clearer and more vocal about what I consider appropriate and inappropriate contact. I wish more people (non-dancers) had a way to learn to feel assertive about their personal space.