View Full Version : Meeting a Customer outside?
KeithDoxen
09-22-2011, 09:27 PM
I honestly never even planned on making a post on this forum.. but after reading this and seeing similar things mentioned in other threads, it really stands out to me. I have spent all 27 years of my life being a gentleman to the core and it has gotten me absolutely nowhere with young women... to the point that I am almost bitter... always losing out to the outgoing and unpredictable alpha male with a hot body. The chivalry and respect are recognized but never truly appreciated. It just warms my heart a little bit to see that there are people out there who can appreciate a true gentleman.
I'm just a little older than you --- I'm 33 --- and I also spent most of my life being "the gentleman" to women, and also found that it usually got me nowhere. Only in the last few years have I started to not be so polite and while I'm not going to report huge successes, I do find that women seem to be more interested in me when I'm not being polite or a gentleman, and when I'm making them feel "hot" and emphasizing their sexuality. A lot of guys "get" this early in life, the jocks in high school and all that, but those of us who spend our youth being respectful to women often feel like we got the short end of the stick, so I know what you mean.
Incidentally, maybe the reason that some girls who strip prefer the gentlemanly types is that they are constantly surrounded by men who view them as pieces of meat, and so those of us who respect their boundaries and treat them like people instead of sex objects might be a welcome change.
Aurora_Sunset
09-22-2011, 09:38 PM
Incidentally, maybe the reason that some girls who strip prefer the gentlemanly types is that they are constantly surrounded by men who view them as pieces of meat, and so those of us who respect their boundaries and treat them like people instead of sex objects might be a welcome change.
This exactly. I've always preferred nice guys but I also used to be the kind of person who would think people were nice where they really weren't... I basically wasted a lot of time with jerks who I didn't even realize were jerks until after awhile. When I started stripping, my douchebag radar went on full-force and now I can't even talk to most of the guys from my past because they just disgust me with what selfish assholes they were. My bf really stood out to me because 1) The first night we hung out at a friend's house, we shared a bed and he didn't touch me - I could not remember the last time a guy slept in the same bed as me without trying to get with me and 2) This impressed me even more because of the fact that the very first thing he ever knew about me was that I was a stripper. In the club, guys will come up and ask me to come sit with them just to grope at me and proposition me to come home with them... and here I was, voluntarily meeting this guy OTC, and he still treated me like I was a lady he was trying to woo - not some cheap hooker. I was blown away, and it's probably because of stripping and the assholes I've met and the way it's made me realize how much I really don't like all the jerks I've dealt with in the past...
Nice guys do not always finish last, hurrication - hang in there :)
hurrication
09-22-2011, 10:30 PM
Hey, thanks! I'm trying to stay optimistic..
Keith, I have tried the same thing too but I just don't have it in me to try and act like a jerk or a chauvinist. What I have noticed, though, is that the mothers and grandmothers of the women who I have been interested in LOVE me. They want me to marry their daughter while the daughter only has eyes for the guy who is an obvious douche nozzle.
ScarlettJanuary
09-22-2011, 11:00 PM
There's a thread somewhere on this site about what us girls prioritize in a guy: looks, money, etc etc. I think the thread was about 50/50 split between girls who look for money/looks first and girls who look for personality (ie. nice guys) first, and consider looks/money secondary. On the other hand, my personal experience with friends and acquaintances is that the vast majority of girls think mostly about looks and end up going for jerks...sad but true. But that's not all of us girls, I swear!
For example, I just posted a couple of hours ago on "post exactly what's on your mind" thread that I love shy guys. And I really don't think that you have to be an Adonis to have a better chance with a girl at the SC. I have not been in the industry very long and I have never met a guy from the club OTC but the guys who immediately come to mind when I think of possible candidates for such meetings ARE NOT the 10/10's look wise. They're the guys who, as has been mentioned a lot in this thread, were "gentlemen".
anouk.oui
09-23-2011, 05:29 AM
lol i love reading the same hysteric "how can i date/bone/marry/meet a stripper" threads but srsly do a search and learn from others before you embarass yourself.
rickdugan
09-23-2011, 11:39 AM
This thread is getting downright painful.
The following are my summaries of the questions/observations and my humble opinions on each:
1. How do I pick up a stripper?
Bend at the knees. Seriously, why should a stripper be any different from any other girl? And why are you asking this question about a stripper as opposed to any other girl? Here's a hint: if you can't get a decent looking girl IRL to like you then you can't pick up a similarly good looking stripper. Just because she has a job where she is forced to be nice to you when you walk in does not mean that you have any more of a chance with her. In fact, coming into her place of work is likely to decrease your odds as she will likely slot you in the "customer" category. Is that clear enough?!
2. Seriously though, what could make it happen?
Duh. Read above. Again, the job requirement that she be nice to you does not make her more available. In fact, walking into a club with the intention of trying to pick up a stripper is kinda' weird and more than a little creepy.
3. Well, a great looking/hot body/etc. guy would likely not be on here asking this question in the first place, so basically how would a plain Joe do it?
DING DING DING. Nor, for that matter, would any guy with a lick of common sense or an understanding of how to catch a woman anywhere else. YET AGAIN, why should a stripper be any different than any other attractive girl? Should she be running a charity for disadvantaged men? Short answer, he's SOL.
4. I have always been a gentleman and it doesn't work for me. I need to be an asshole and/or a hot bodied guy instead.
Idk, but a little less time feeling sorry for yourself and more time at the gym might help. Also, very few women respect an overly clingy/weak personality, though the asshole approach doesn't work all that well either - or at least for all that long. But blaming a woman for wanting to be attracted to her partner is dumb. Don't you want to be attracted to your partners?
skwadim
09-23-2011, 12:54 PM
This thread is getting downright painful.
The following are my summaries of the questions/observations and my humble opinions on each:
1. How do I pick up a stripper?
Bend at the knees. Seriously, why should a stripper be any different from any other girl? And why are you asking this question about a stripper as opposed to any other girl? Here's a hint: if you can't get a decent looking girl IRL to like you then you can't pick up a similarly good looking stripper. Just because she has a job where she is forced to be nice to you when you walk in does not mean that you have any more of a chance with her. In fact, coming into her place of work is likely to decrease your odds as she will likely slot you in the "customer" category. Is that clear enough?!
2. Seriously though, what could make it happen?
Duh. Read above. Again, the job requirement that she be nice to you does not make her more available. In fact, walking into a club with the intention of trying to pick up a stripper is kinda' weird and more than a little creepy.
3. Well, a great looking/hot body/etc. guy would likely not be on here asking this question in the first place, so basically how would a plain Joe do it?
DING DING DING. Nor, for that matter, would any guy with a lick of common sense or an understanding of how to catch a woman anywhere else. YET AGAIN, why should a stripper be any different than any other attractive girl? Should she be running a charity for disadvantaged men? Short answer, he's SOL.
4. I have always been a gentleman and it doesn't work for me. I need to be an asshole and/or a hot bodied guy instead.
Idk, but a little less time feeling sorry for yourself and more time at the gym might help. Also, very few women respect an overly clingy/weak personality, though the asshole approach doesn't work all that well either - or at least for all that long. But blaming a woman for wanting to be attracted to her partner is dumb. Don't you want to be attracted to your partners?
Here's my humble opinion on those humble opinions. it's like inception, except with humble opinions, not dreams.
1. How do I pick up a stripper?
Not sure who asked that question.
2. Seriously though, what could make it happen?
This is a bit closer, and no one's walking in with "the intention," and it's just as weird for people to expect guys to walk in without having the thought enter their mind, even if briefly, knowing full well the unrealistic nature of it actually happening.
Yes the job forces her to "be nice" it forces her to do a lot more than just "be nice" a girl working at starbucks is forced to "be nice" to customers there too. There's a world of difference between working at a starbucks and working at starlites (There's gotta be some club out there with that name)
yoda57us
09-23-2011, 01:08 PM
I have spent all 27 years of my life being a gentleman to the core and it has gotten me absolutely nowhere with young women... to the point that I am almost bitter...
27 years? Honestly dude, I have socks older than you. I'm a gentleman as well and it has served me quite well for most of my life. Being a nice guy does not however move mountains. Women like what they like and want what they want. Younger women tend to be more hung-up on looks and having a good time. This changes as they get older. As far as how any of this applies to women in strip clubs, well, it doesn't. No matter how nice you are, how good looking you are or how gentlemanly you are dancers are at the club to earn a living. Meeting cute guys to go home with is not their priority.
rickdugan
09-23-2011, 01:46 PM
Yes the job forces her to "be nice" it forces her to do a lot more than just "be nice" a girl working at starbucks is forced to "be nice" to customers there too. There's a world of difference between working at a starbucks and working at starlites (There's gotta be some club out there with that name)
The job is different, but why would you be any more likely to score with a stripper than the girl at the coffee shop? She is still a hot, young girl. Why would her job make her any more attracted/drawn to the plain Joe?
cherryblossomsinspring
09-23-2011, 02:40 PM
A very wise, middle-aged woman once told me that the oldest form of commerce is "sex for stuff," with women providing sex in exchange for men providing stuff. I think humans are generally still hard-wired that way.
Incidentally, one of the ways that the dynamics of the SC upend the way that we're hard-wired is with the norm that the ladies are expected to approach the men. It seems that IRL it's usually the other way around, and I suspect that, by and large, men are wired to pursue women, and women, to be pursued by men. Most of us men like the fact that the SC turns the tables for once and lets us have the fantasy of being pursued by the ladies. But I think that's why there are so many threads in Hustle Hut that deal with ways for the ladies to maintain confidence while approaching the men, or to take rejection in the best way possible, or to convince the men to approach them. It's probably fairly innate for women to be the ones who are generally "chased" and the role-reversal in the SC seems to be one of the major challenges that the dancers generally deal with, at least based on what I've read so far.
^ This is quite true. So then a man has too ask himself.: Once I step out of these doors, I will be ignored again or have to purse women. This is one of the main reasons lesser attractive males love the strip club. I mean you can read in many areas on this site how nasty and rude some of the custy's are and you wonder why. This is a way for many to take out their frustrations on women that don't really want them. You hear it all the time how some guy ends up yelling "all you want is my money". As if it's some news flash. The funny thing is when men show appreciation for a woman that doesn't happen to be part of the "body part line up" she sees him as a human being and not a wallet. Now the SC is not the place for that. She knows that men are there to pay to oogle her body parts. I mean are women at the SC wearing dresses that cover themselves from the neck down to their ankles? I think not.
Going into a place where it's about body parts and then saying I want to fall in love with your mind is as bad as going to a Butcher and complaining about how they don't have a Vegan Menu.
The problem is you want the dancer to want you for real and if women that look like they do don't want you in real life then you have your answer. They are approaching you for money only . Not for love or a relationship.
So you can always go back to real life and see if an attractive women will be all over you. If that's not happening then enjoy the paid fantasy of the dancer wanting you. Again don't fool yourself into believing that it's real. This is probably the single most annoying thing when in the adult industry. People not realizing that if money wasn't involved ,they wouldn't stand a chance.
As I said in my last post. If you know that you don't have the looks, body etc to attract women that do have the looks and body then you need to make a change. Either pay for someone to FAKE INTEREST or pay to change what you look like so you can get REAL INTEREST.
Treating women like garbage doesn't work in the long run. A woman may have been attracted to a guy that was a douchebag but it's generally because he is/was attractive. If you're an ugly douchebag , then you're really screwed. I've met those types too. The fat ugly old man that was always chasing hot women. One thing I always saw with them is that they still had to pay to keep these women around. Generally pay alot more then just a regular nice unattractive man.
Now another question is why aren't you chasing women that resemble closer to your body design. I'm not specially talking about race here. I'm talking about age and body type. Since everyone will be a certain age at some point and body type can be changed by any person. So what's wrong with these women? Why aren't you attracted to them? Being picky about someone's looks where you don't work on your own comes across to many as ridiculous. Again if you look at that post I attacked it shows the reaction from many women saying " wtf get real" or " ewww gross". If you've given up on your own looks , why does someone have to be forced to deal with that?
Again try Sugar Dating as an alternative. There are hot model types that as long as you give them a month allowance ( like many regular relationships where you take care of a woman) you'll get someone to show some compassion.
You can even look in the picture post area and see how these women have had 2-5 kids and they bust their ass to get back in shape. Women have monthly hormonal changes that affect weight fluctuations.
Men? what's their excuse? So a man that doesn't work out but spends 20 hrs in a strip club trying to get someone to date him for free comes across as a loser. I mean cut that down to 5 hrs a week and use the other 15 hr towards working out. Then you'll get so fit that women on the street will be doing a double take. It's really a basic thing to want to look your best. If you feel good about yourself and the way you look other people pick up on that and in turn you become attractive. Confidence and self love are contagious.
skwadim
09-23-2011, 02:50 PM
The job is different, but why would you be any more likely to score with a stripper than the girl at the coffee shop? She is still a hot, young girl. Why would her job make her any more attracted/drawn to the plain Joe?
Never said that it would, just that a guy might be more likely to think about the remote possibility- if a girl is paid to have simulated sex with him for a couple of minutes vs a girl being paid to serve him a cafe latte.
skwadim
09-23-2011, 02:54 PM
"So a man that doesn't work out but spends 20 hrs in a strip club trying to get someone to date him for free comes across as a loser."
There are guys that do that?
cherryblossomsinspring
09-23-2011, 03:12 PM
Here's my humble opinion on those humble opinions. it's like inception, except with humble opinions, not dreams.
1. How do I pick up a stripper?
Not sure who asked that question.
2. Seriously though, what could make it happen?
This is a bit closer, and no one's walking in with "the intention," and it's just as weird for people to expect guys to walk in without having the thought enter their mind, even if briefly, knowing full well the unrealistic nature of it actually happening.
Yes the job forces her to "be nice" it forces her to do a lot more than just "be nice" a girl working at starbucks is forced to "be nice" to customers there too. There's a world of difference between working at a starbucks and working at starlites (There's gotta be some club out there with that name)
Well there it is in plain sight for all to see. You have viewed dancers exactly how they hate to be viewed. So because they are not fully clothed serving you coffee they have been labeled in your mind easier to approach for other things . This is your biggest mistake. You just showed this post how you view them over someone working the 9-5. They don't deserve respect. They don't deserve to be seen as doing a job. You feel well they take their clothes off so why can't they just come over and do that?
Ohh and the post above umm yes she is working for you. You pay her to do a lap dance and she does it. You have hired her for a specific job. Or should I say you contracted her out for services? Would that be better? Still you're the employer she's the employee even if she's not getting health benefits or a 401k plan.
Based on your writing style and your views I can tell you're probably 55-70 . There"s just something about how you position your questions. Now if that's the case then I'm really not shocked on reading this above. You just have some outdated views that you still cling to about dancers. There's nothing really wrong with your thoughts because they are your thoughts ,but they don't really work that well today. Perhaps being a sugar daddy will be your best option for now since approaching 20+ year olds IRL and the SC is just not working for you.
cherryblossomsinspring
09-23-2011, 03:23 PM
"So a man that doesn't work out but spends 20 hrs in a strip club trying to get someone to date him for free comes across as a loser."
There are guys that do that?
Like you didn't know that. Please there are men that stay in a club from shift beginning to end and do that several nights a week. Some people are jobless, retired, on vacation, live with their parents. etc.
I mean are guys going into a strip club for 30 mins then trying to ask to date a dancer in that time? Hmm that seems highly unlikely because their desire to date them wouldn't be so strong.
It's typically someone that goes fairly often and talks to the same dancers on a consistent basis that feels ok "now's my chance to get her number for a date".
Think about the guys that go to regular clubs . Generally they open around 9pm and close at 2-3am. That's 5 hours of them getting drinks and looking to talk to as many girls as possible in hopes that they'll take someone home. You always see that if you happen to be in a club when it closes how the ugly guys dash around trying to get any girl's number or try the " hey do you need a ride" line.
Many try this between Thursday -Sunday. Hell some even go to after hours clubs to try again with the number's games. Again I understand you're beyond the age of those youngster activities so I'll spare you any further details.
Older men would generally avoid this route because it's way too much competition and usually if an old guy is there , his pick up technique is out dated. So he ends up getting laughed at. Some still go and they're avoided like the plague or ignored. Or worse put in the Old Loser creepy box, when they eye younger ladies like some meat on a stick treat. Eww. **shivers down my spine**
Elvia
09-23-2011, 03:28 PM
Hmm. Well, truth be told, I'm always a little suspicious when someone complains about not having enough success with the ladies, despite what a super nice guy he is. I tend to think this whole bad-boy/nice guy thing is an error of thinking in extremes. I was talking to a male friend the other day about all those stupid get-a-dancer-to-date-you scams that are out there and how incredibly WRONG the usual advice is. I've always wondered, why would anyone think going to a SC, not tipping anyone, and just generally being rude and pissy and acting unhappy to be there would make a dancer eager to sleep with them? My friends take on it was that they were trying to distinguish themselves from the "pathetic losers" who fall all over themselves trying to make the dancer happy by showering her with tons of money, expensive gifts, being at her beck and call, etc. Being a douche does not make someone attractive. But being overly accomodating can come across as desperate and spineless, and also doesn't make someone attractive.
hurrication
09-23-2011, 03:37 PM
27 years? Honestly dude, I have socks older than you. I'm a gentleman as well and it has served me quite well for most of my life. Being a nice guy does not however move mountains. Women like what they like and want what they want. Younger women tend to be more hung-up on looks and having a good time. This changes as they get older. As far as how any of this applies to women in strip clubs, well, it doesn't. No matter how nice you are, how good looking you are or how gentlemanly you are dancers are at the club to earn a living. Meeting cute guys to go home with is not their priority.
No, don't get me wrong.. being a nice guy has served me very well in all other aspects of my life, but the only thing my post implies is that young women do not seem to truly appreciate it. I also mentioned nothing about dancers or strip clubs because I honestly do not care for going to clubs much and have only been convinced by my peers to go twice in my life. I'm just a curious guy who likes reading and found some threads on here while googling and saw some posts that resonated with me... not one of the "how can I date a stripper" guys.
4. I have always been a gentleman and it doesn't work for me. I need to be an asshole and/or a hot bodied guy instead.
Idk, but a little less time feeling sorry for yourself and more time at the gym might help. Also, very few women respect an overly clingy/weak personality, though the asshole approach doesn't work all that well either - or at least for all that long. But blaming a woman for wanting to be attracted to her partner is dumb. Don't you want to be attracted to your partners?
I am not sure if this is directed at me, but just know that I do not in any way fit the assumed stereotype you mention and I do not blame women for anything. I have no problem going downtown on the weekend and getting plenty of attention from young ladies, but it's frustrating when you hear these ladies complain all the time about how all guys are assholes and jerks.. yet these are the only kind of guy you ever see them with. You try and break the mold and show them a little respect, but they do not truly appreciate it and still think that every guy out there is a jerk. I have chosen not to actively pursue or date anyone for the last couple of years because it is so hard to take anyone seriously and I don't want to be with someone who does not appreciate what I have to offer.
cherryblossomsinspring
09-23-2011, 03:46 PM
I honestly never even planned on making a post on this forum.. but after reading this and seeing similar things mentioned in other threads, it really stands out to me. I have spent all 27 years of my life being a gentleman to the core and it has gotten me absolutely nowhere with young women... to the point that I am almost bitter... always losing out to the outgoing and unpredictable alpha male with a hot body. The chivalry and respect are recognized but never truly appreciated. It just warms my heart a little bit to see that there are people out there who can appreciate a true gentleman.
You're 27? and someone put 33. You're not that old. But I noticed the "hot body" comment. So that brings me to wonder what your body looks like. If you're packed on some lbs then it's time to hit the gym. I will say that yes the hot alpha male will get women at first. If he's hot then he will attract women with ease. Generally the hot douchy guy forgets why girls wanted him and I've noticed they get sloppy over time. They end up as the sloppy old guy that forgets he is no longer attractive but hits on women as if he is. Or the guy that uses his old pictures on dating sites when he looked like something but now looks like hell ( typically lying about their age too). All women hate those guys. lol
Now is your chance to be the hot nice guy. Why not? Get to a gym and work on it. Change your eating habits. It really depends on how serious you are about wanting to appeal to the opposite sex without the wallet. I mean girls like gifts and spoiling at any age from any man but it's nicer when it's from someone you find visually appealing.
The last resort would be to forget doing anything. Keep up with your eating habits, pack on a few more pounds but don't be picky. Find women that look similar to your body weight,looks and age. Love them for who they are on the inside since that's exactly what you want another person to do. Say to yourself that looks don't matter since they don't matter to you. Love anything that isn't the textbook view of "hot". Break all of your tv's destroy all victoria secret catalogs and never set your foot into a strip club again. Find and masturbate to porn that doesn't resemble the typical model looks. Change your whole outlook on what society told you was beautiful. Recondition your mindset. Then and only then will you not be bitter, not feel you're missing out on something that hot guys always get. Because now to you they are all ugly people. You're the hot guy and will date only those hot girls that don't look like models.
Bitterness only comes from a sense of entitlement. You feel entitled to having hot models all over you even if you're not hot. If you don't want people to be obsessed with looks then don't be obsessed with looks. Be fair and in turn you can expect the same.
Also when does a nice guy complain about being nice? Generally most "nice guys" are only nice when they feel it will get them something. That's not true kindness. That's just bullshitting long enough to get what you want. A douchebag is honest about being a douchebag. You can atleast respect that he is who he is and doesn't need to fake it to make it. So who's really the nice guy? Sounds like the douchebag is the nice guy because he's actually honest.
hurrication
09-23-2011, 04:02 PM
My body type is that of the tallest NFL linebacker you have ever seen and I am definitely not out of shape. The "hot guys" I mention are those loud mouth tanned skinny guys with a 32 waist who are clad in abercrombie with their collar popped and hair spiked. I have no sense of entitlement, am not obsessed with looks, and do not expect hot models to be all over me. Maybe "bitter" was the wrong word to use.. "fed up" fits better.
I will say, though, that you sure did come up with quite the judgement about me and my body based on two words that I used. You did not hit the nail on the head.. sorry.
cherryblossomsinspring
09-23-2011, 04:03 PM
Hmm. Well, truth be told, I'm always a little suspicious when someone complains about not having enough success with the ladies, despite what a super nice guy he is. I tend to think this whole bad-boy/nice guy thing is an error of thinking in extremes. I was talking to a male friend the other day about all those stupid get-a-dancer-to-date-you scams that are out there and how incredibly WRONG the usual advice is. I've always wondered, why would anyone think going to a SC, not tipping anyone, and just generally being rude and pissy and acting unhappy to be there would make a dancer eager to sleep with them? My friends take on it was that they were trying to distinguish themselves from the "pathetic losers" who fall all over themselves trying to make the dancer happy by showering her with tons of money, expensive gifts, being at her beck and call, etc. Being a douche does not make someone attractive. But being overly accomodating can come across as desperate and spineless, and also doesn't make someone attractive.
Agreed!!!^^ I get the two extremes in camming and phone. The one guy that thinks if he just talks to you forever then after 2hrs you'll exchange numbers or add him on fb. It's the most annoying thing. When it doesn't work he gets pissed off and nasty. Hmm thought you were a nice guy that just happened to be broke. Ohh well.
Then you get the opposite. The guy that spends his life savings on privates and tips. He now feels entitled to you so he goes about pushing for more. Then he looses it telling you how well he treated you and how much he spent on you. So you loose a great regular because you will not fuck him in real life. Darn I thought you really enjoyed my shows. Ohh well again.
The guys I do well with. Spend when they can, laugh at how crazy the other guys get and generally are down to earth and easy to chat with. I spend alot of time talking to them when they aren't paying because they actually understand and respect what I do. I don't have to beg, push or barter with them for privates because they give when they have and they are always a pleasure to have in my company with or without money.One major thing: They don't ever ask for anything more which is why I freely give them my time and attention.
^ These types are generally not the whales we all know and love . But generally the whales that spend big come through with a sea of drama and expectation.;)
skwadim
09-23-2011, 04:06 PM
Well there it is in plain sight for all to see. You have viewed dancers exactly how they hate to be viewed. So because they are not fully clothed serving you coffee they have been labeled in your mind easier to approach for other things . This is your biggest mistake. You just showed this post how you view them over someone working the 9-5. They don't deserve respect. They don't deserve to be seen as doing a job. You feel well they take their clothes off so why can't they just come over and do that?
Really you got that? I think you're adding your own commentary, I never made a inferiority/superiority distinction. Nor did I say anything about deserving respect, this again some kind of insecurity popping up. I only said there is a distinction, which you simply cannot deny.
I never said anything about easy vs hard to approach for other things, made no comment at all, that's more of your speculation. I just said (which it's really not breaking news when you think about it) that a guy is more likely to think, even if only for a second, (irrespective of the likelihood of it actually happening) about a sexual encounter with someone temporarily sexually pleasing him vs someone serving him a latte - even if both are jobs, and both requires women to fake nice attitudes.
Although in many cases, those "nice attitudes" last about 3.4 seconds once she realizes you're not buying. I've politely declined women I just wasn't attracted to only to be on the receiving end of some unnecessary comments.
Ohh and the post above umm yes she is working for you. You pay her to do a lap dance and she does it. You have hired her for a specific job. Or should I say you contracted her out for services? Would that be better? Still you're the employer she's the employee even if she's not getting health benefits or a 401k plan.
Ok, where did I ever deny this relationship?
Based on your writing style and your views I can tell you're probably 55-70 . There"s just something about how you position your questions. Now if that's the case then I'm really not shocked on reading this above. You just have some outdated views that you still cling to about dancers. There's nothing really wrong with your thoughts because they are your thoughts ,but they don't really work that well today. Perhaps being a sugar daddy will be your best option for now since approaching 20+ year olds IRL and the SC is just not working for you.
Well sry if I dont typ like thiS nd sy things lik wutvr lol rofl, but my age here really isn't relevant so I'll just let speculations continue. Contrary to popular belief, I wasn't looking for a how-to manual on how to "game strippers" to meet OTC. I generally like to stray from speculating on people personally in online forums, but I'll say you're one of the more intelligent posters here - I generally enjoy what you write, which is why I was confused at your last response. So, write on!
cherryblossomsinspring
09-23-2011, 04:13 PM
My body type is that of the tallest NFL linebacker you have ever seen and I am definitely not out of shape. The "hot guys" I mention are those loud mouth tanned skinny guys with a 32 waist who are clad in abercrombie with their collar popped and hair spiked. I have no sense of entitlement, am not obsessed with looks, and do not expect hot models to be all over me. Maybe "bitter" was the wrong word to use.. "fed up" fits better.
I will say, though, that you sure did come up with quite the judgement about me and my body based on two words that I used. You did not hit the nail on the head.. sorry.
Wait so you have an NLF linebacker body? But you're getting turned down by women? May I suggest a more athletic lady? Yes I would say bitter sounds pretty bad. You're 27? That's so young to feel that way.
lol @ 32 inch waist. Wow sounds like the typical douche.
I believe I asked what you look like. I saw someone posted "average". When is an NFL player look average? And you're in shape too? Now I really don't get why you're having a problem. But again are you actively dating? And what women do you find attractive that sit and tell you about their problems with another current man in their life? I mean are you finding "single" women. Or are you crushing on a friend that's going in and out of shitty relationships and you're playing BFF with her hoping she'll "notice " you. Then when she doesn't you add her to your thoughts that all women are after the abercrombie types?
How do you approach women?
Where do you approach women?
What's the age of the women you're into?
There all play a major part.
Also what are you looking for? Roll in the sack? GF, Marriage?
skwadim
09-23-2011, 04:20 PM
You feel well they take their clothes off so why can't they just come over and do that?
Just as a side point, but isn't this something that most dancers want guys to think? that it might actually be easier?
It's kind of like the casinos in vegas, they actually want guys to count cards, because most people can't do it for squat and end up dumping their entire payroll - thinking they can "beat the system"
Elvia
09-23-2011, 04:27 PM
The guys I do well with. Spend when they can, laugh at how crazy the other guys get and generally are down to earth and easy to chat with. I spend alot of time talking to them when they aren't paying because they actually understand and respect what I do. I don't have to beg, push or barter with them for privates because they give when they have and they are always a pleasure to have in my company with or without money.One major thing: They don't ever ask for anything more which is why I freely give them my time and attention.
Funny you mention that. I met my bf in the SC. The paragraph above describes what he is like in a SC perfectly. What I initially liked most about him was that he always made me feel so comfortable and at ease. I'd say that's pretty vital if there's any prayor of a chance of a dancer going out with a customer. Forget all the advice about "throwing her off" by acting aloof and unimpressed, or trying to dominate her time as much possible without spending any money, or pushing for OTC or trying to force unestablished intimacy. Doing things that make the dancer uncomfortable and put her on guard is the WORST thing a guy can do.
hurrication
09-23-2011, 04:29 PM
Cherry, I don't know where you are reading that I have a problem attracting women, because I do not. The only thing I have implied is that the women I attract do not appreciate being respected by a gentleman. I did not say anything about being average, that must have been somebody else. As I mentioned in post #118, I stopped actively pursuing or dating anyone because I am fed up with not being appreciated for who I am.
cherryblossomsinspring
09-23-2011, 04:37 PM
Cherry, I don't know where you are reading that I have a problem attracting women, because I do not. The only thing I have implied is that the women I attract do not appreciate being respected by a gentleman. I did not say anything about being average, that must have been somebody else. As I mentioned in post #118, I stopped actively pursuing or dating anyone because I am fed up with not being appreciated for who I am.
Got it. Well this post was specific to "meeting a customer outside". I thought that's why you were posting here. I understand that something specifically stood out to you in a post that made you comment.
I get it. You're no longer interested because you feel unappreciated. So you're an attractive man that's just fed up.
Not exactly sure what happened in your past, but I believe everyone has been through some heartache and decided to just take a break from it all. Hopefully in the future when and if you decide to date again, you'll meet someone that does appreciate all you have to offer.
Please don't change being a good guy if you truly are one. Women do love good men.
hurrication
09-23-2011, 04:42 PM
Thanks! Glad we're on the same page now.
yoda57us
09-23-2011, 04:47 PM
I also mentioned nothing about dancers or strip clubs because I honestly do not care for going to clubs much and have only been convinced by my peers to go twice in my life. I'm just a curious guy who likes reading and found some threads on here while googling and saw some posts that resonated with me...
Ya know what, we already have our quota of guys who never go to strip clubs but insist on posting on a board about strip clubs! What you don't understand is that most of what gets posted here comes from a dancer/customer perspective. If you choose to join in the fun that's your business but the nature of the board is what it is.
not one of the "how can I date a stripper" guys.
Of course not, you're special. Just like the other guys who don't respond to a thread about dating strippers but don't want to date strippers...
hurrication
09-23-2011, 04:50 PM
Okay, really.. what are you trying to accomplish with that?
cherryblossomsinspring
09-23-2011, 04:55 PM
Although in many cases, those "nice attitudes" last about 3.4 seconds once she realizes you're not buying. I've politely declined women I just wasn't attracted to only to be on the receiving end of some unnecessary comments.
^ sorry this has happened to you.
Ok, where did I ever deny this relationship?
Here:>
[QUOTE=skwadim;2198806]I agree with 99% of your post, and it does answer the question, I think this analogy is loosely relevant, the stripper's arent working *for* me, although I get your point.
Well sry if I dont typ like thiS nd sy things lik wutvr lol rofl, but my age here really isn't relevant so I'll just let speculations continue. lol yes the cRAZy LETTEring isn't necessary. haha funny though:)
Actually age is relevant to this topic based on the women you're hoping to date. As any man gets older, his ability to attract younger women decreases. If he's in the SC she still recognizes that he's too old to date, but generally ok to dance for. You are paying for a service after all and cash doesn't discriminate.
anouk.oui
09-23-2011, 05:05 PM
your perception of you 'being a gentleman' may be completely different to how others see you.
one dude for example thought it was 'gentlemanly' to ask for permission before licking a strippers ass then going ahead and just doing it. ninja style.
cherryblossomsinspring
09-23-2011, 05:14 PM
I honestly never even planned on making a post on this forum.. but after reading this and seeing similar things mentioned in other threads, it really stands out to me. I have spent all 27 years of my life being a gentleman to the core and it has gotten me absolutely nowhere with young women... to the point that I am almost bitter... always losing out to the outgoing and unpredictable alpha male with a hot body. The chivalry and respect are recognized but never truly appreciated. It just warms my heart a little bit to see that there are people out there who can appreciate a true gentleman.
I will say that perhaps your problem is with what I bolded here. You're still young but women at 18-21 are different at 27. I would suggest to date women around your own age instead of the women that are generally just starting out in life. This could be why you're passed over for the douchebag guys because they're still figuring it all out. Dancers I would say at any age tend to be different because they have to deal with interacting with men much older than themselves.They learn faster based on constant in your face contact with men. Actually I would say any woman working in the adult industry grows up rather fast. She can even get rather jaded by men at 23. I even know friends that were done with men by 22 because they danced at 18 and saw men in a whole new light.
However a woman that's never been in the adult industry and is say 19 is generally still figuring it out. I mean where were you at 19 yourself? Were you out there looking for your soul mate? Or were you trying to hit everything that moves in a skirt? I'm not saying you were a bad boy but you have to give people time to grow up and live a bit. Let the young women fall for their young men. They do eventually figure things out after a few knee scrapes. I mean at this age she's still trying to figure out who she wants to be for herself. Let alone some guy coming along and putting his wants and desires on her plate.
Women your own age are still figuring it out, but they've had enough experience ( I would hope) to know what they want and who they want. If you're shopping for babies don't be mad when it shits on you from time to time. Babies do that.;)
skwadim
09-23-2011, 05:38 PM
[QUOTE=skwadim;2210849]
Here:>
I don't see that as an outright denial. secondly, that's taken out of context, I was responding to the boss-employee comparison which again I don't think really holds. It would be an equivalence if say a strip club manager or staff member tried to fuck a girl and used that as an "excuse"
If I'm her "boss" can I "fire" her then for poor lapdance performance? It's a loose analogy, thats what I was getting at.
I think the starbucks barista is a better analogy (never mind the financial, health benefits, contractor vs staff difference) but there a barista's job is to serve coffee to customers, to make them happy, but ultimately he/she answers to starbucks (the store manager) that's who she works FOR. what your job is and who you work for can be two separate things.
Actually age is relevant to this topic based on the women you're hoping to date. As any man gets older, his ability to attract younger women decreases.
I don't deny that, what I meant was I wasn't asking with the intent to take people's responses and rush out to the club to implement them.
yoda57us
09-23-2011, 06:12 PM
Okay, really.. what are you trying to accomplish with that?
LOL, "accomplish"? It's just an opinion on a message board dude. I'm not putting that much pressure on my self...
cherryblossomsinspring
09-23-2011, 06:47 PM
Really you got that? I think you're adding your own commentary, I never made a inferiority/superiority distinction. Nor did I say anything about deserving respect, this again some kind of insecurity popping up. I only said there is a distinction, which you simply cannot deny. !
Now how can that be insecurity on my part? I'm not posting about trying to get a dancer to meet me and trying to find correlations between being shot down in real life vs a dancer being shot down to make money from a customer.
I mean realistically if a man was secure in his looks and his ability to attract the opposite sex then he wouldn't be in a strip club paying for fake interest and attention.
So this post wasn't for an instruction manual of How To's . Well cool. I guess you just needed a little attention and interest. Well can't beat free attention now can you?;D
rickdugan
09-23-2011, 07:02 PM
... but it's frustrating when you hear these ladies complain all the time about how all guys are assholes and jerks.. yet these are the only kind of guy you ever see them with. You try and break the mold and show them a little respect, but they do not truly appreciate it and still think that every guy out there is a jerk. I have chosen not to actively pursue or date anyone for the last couple of years because it is so hard to take anyone seriously and I don't want to be with someone who does not appreciate what I have to offer.
Sorry, but that is a load of crap. How do you know how the guys that they are with treat them - are you there with them in their bedrooms, cars, etc.? Sounds to me like you are taking the easy way out by trying to blame the purported shallowness of girls when it is you who might have an issue.
Maybe "what you have to offer" is not appealing to some girls. But whatever your issue is I can tell you that there are plenty of girls out there who do not date guys who treat them like crap. I never treated girls badly and my dance card (e.g., "bed") was full when I was single - and that was only six years ago. In all candor it sounds to me like you need to figure out what your stumbling blocks are and fix them.
Anyway, good luck.
skwadim
09-23-2011, 07:28 PM
Now how can that be insecurity on my part? I'm not posting about trying to get a dancer to meet me and trying to find correlations between being shot down in real life vs a dancer being shot down to make money from a customer.
I mean realistically if a man was secure in his looks and his ability to attract the opposite sex then he wouldn't be in a strip club paying for fake interest and attention.
So this post wasn't for an instruction manual of How To's . Well cool. I guess you just needed a little attention and interest. Well can't beat free attention now can you?;D
I speculated insecurity, but I don't know what caused your extrapolation of my statement into evidence of "disprespect" The point was, you read into my statement and extrapolated on it, and came up with things I didn't say. namely all that "disrespect, so-and-so is easier to pick up, etc etc." stuff.
To your point, sure perhaps you're right, maybe it was a request of free attention and interest, but isn't that why at some level, women spend all that money and time working on their looks as you so eloquently stated so many times? getting attention and interest?
So, the Pot will be waiting right down here for the Kettle to come join him.
I'd like to propose a little thought experiment - let's say a guy came in and spent all kinds of money on you (and I don't mean you specifically here, I mean you as in 'a dancer'), dances, vip, tips, whatever, but he made no joke, comment, hint or anything about meeting OTC, or just having sex with you in general (ie no comment like, 'i bet you're super hot in bed')
How would that make you feel? I know the initial reaction would be, "Hell yea! I'd love that, I'd take that chump loser douche mother fucker for every last penny!" but if you just went a little beyond that- wouldn't you feel at least a little bit like something was off? I don't know, Im not making any assumptions, I'm just asking the question.
Realistically of course, I can't imagine that happening, because whether you like it or not, the guy is giving you the money not because you simply "do your job well" or it's a "service rendered" rather he's having a short, sexual fantasy fulfilled.
cherryblossomsinspring
09-23-2011, 07:41 PM
I speculated insecurity, but I don't know what caused your extrapolation of my statement into evidence of "disprespect" The point was, you read into my statement and extrapolated on it, and came up with things I didn't say. namely all that "disrespect, so-and-so is easier to pick up, etc etc." stuff.
To your point, sure perhaps you're right, maybe it was a request of free attention and interest, but isn't that why at some level, women spend all that money and time working on their looks as you so eloquently stated so many times? getting attention and interest?
So, the Pot will be waiting right down here for the Kettle to come join him.
I'd like to propose a little thought experiment - let's say a guy came in and spent all kinds of money on you (and I don't mean you specifically here, I mean you as in 'a dancer'), dances, vip, tips, whatever, but he made no joke, comment, hint or anything about meeting OTC, or just having sex with you in general (ie no comment like, 'i bet you're super hot in bed')
How would that make you feel? I know the initial reaction would be, "Hell yea! I'd love that, I'd take that chump loser douche mother fucker for every last penny!" but if you just went a little beyond that- wouldn't you feel at least a little bit like something was off? I don't know, Im not making any assumptions, I'm just asking the question.
Realistically of course, I can't imagine that happening, because whether you like it or not, the guy is giving you the money not because you simply "do your job well" or it's a "service rendered" rather he's having a short, sexual fantasy fulfilled.
Ok well first I don't think I would say " chump loser douche mother fucker for every last penny". <-----Sounds a bit harsh don't you think?
My first question is this:
What does he look like? How old is he?
Next....
How long has he been coming to see me at the club? What type of club goer is he?
Then....
What would a VIP be like with him? Just cool chatting , non sexual? Is he handsy?
What is the conversation like? What do we chat about? Is he just light and fun?
Then I would enjoy the customer/ dancer interaction because any dancer would love a respectful high spending custy. I mean who wouldn't?
Answer these questions above first then I'll know how to answer afterwards.^
skwadim
09-23-2011, 07:46 PM
Ok well first I don't think I would say " chump loser douche mother fucker for every last penny". <-----Sounds a bit harsh don't you think?
My first question is this:
What does he look like? How old is he?
Then....
What would a VIP be like with him? Just cool chatting , non sexual? Is he handsy?
What is the conversation like? What do we chat about? Is he just light and fun?
Then I would enjoy the customer/ dancer interaction because any dancer would love a respectful high spending custy. I mean who wouldn't?
Answer these questions above first then I'll know how to answer afterwards.^
Yes it is harsh, but unfortunately reality is sometimes very harsh. And not saying you would say that specifically, but others might think it.
The crux of my question is, if people repeatedly came and spent money on you for something that's clearly sexual in nature, but didn't acknowledge that sexuality or the prospect of being sexual with you outside of the club (in any fashion) - wouldn't that strike you as strange?
Elvia
09-23-2011, 08:00 PM
Yes it is harsh, but unfortunately reality is sometimes very harsh. And not saying you would say that specifically, but others might think it.
The crux of my question is, if people repeatedly came and spent money on you for something that's clearly sexual in nature, but didn't acknowledge that sexuality or the prospect of being sexual with you outside of the club (in any fashion) - wouldn't that strike you as strange?
I may be in the minority here, I don't know, but I've been dancing for 5 years and my customers don't do this. Maybe it's the strip club etiquette in my area, but my customers don't discuss sex in quite such a personal manner as that with me. Of course, the occasional guy does ask to see me outside of the club but most know better.
And why do you think we would think of all our customers as loser douche chump mother fuckers? That's a pretty angry sentiment..
cherryblossomsinspring
09-23-2011, 08:01 PM
Umm you didn't answer my question. Please put some specifics in there or examples and I'll answer your last question.
The answers may change so please again:
My first question is this:
What does he look like? How old is he?
Then....
What would a VIP be like with him? Just cool chatting , non sexual? Is he handsy?
What is the conversation like? What do we chat about? Is he just light and fun?
Then I would enjoy the customer/ dancer interaction because any dancer would love a respectful high spending custy. I mean who wouldn't?
Answer these questions above first then I'll know how to answer afterwards.^
skwadim
09-23-2011, 08:10 PM
Umm you didn't answer my question. Please put some specifics in there or examples and I'll answer your last question.
The answers may change so please again:
My first question is this:
What does he look like? How old is he?
Then....
What would a VIP be like with him? Just cool chatting , non sexual? Is he handsy?
What is the conversation like? What do we chat about? Is he just light and fun?
Then I would enjoy the customer/ dancer interaction because any dancer would love a respectful high spending custy. I mean who wouldn't?
Answer these questions above first then I'll know how to answer afterwards.^
He looks average, he's your age
I dont see how a VIP would be non-sexual, isn't that the point of VIP?
Yes he's light and fun
Of course, the occasional guy does ask to see me outside of the club but most know better.
Well, directly asking to see you OTC is one way, probably the most extreme way, a more subtle way might be, "what do you usually do after work?" or something like that, or something maybe even more subtle, like asking you about your life outside, or commenting about you sexually in a general sense..
Many customers enjoy the company of dancers (both sexually and non-sexually) ITC only, with no thought or desire to try and follow it up with OTC action.
Would you say most customers for you fit that category?
skwadim
09-23-2011, 08:29 PM
lol I'm a customer, not a dancer.
Don't let the little pink ribbon fool you ;D
haha yikes! sorry about that mate, I'm fairly new here, is there an easy way to tell?
I guess the question is, you've never even for a second thought about what it might be like to have sex with a stripper OTC? I have, I mean I'd be lying if I said I haven't.
cherryblossomsinspring
09-23-2011, 08:32 PM
He looks average, he's your age
I dont see how a VIP would be non-sexual, isn't that the point of VIP?
Yes he's light and fun
Not every guy goes into the VIP to try to do something sexual. Some guy just want to take you there for one on one conversation. Again there's always something different for everyone and the guy that's not pushy would get a better vote in my book.
So average to me = He's fit, not fat and sloppy and decent looking. Not runway status but not Jabba the hut either. Also my age . Well if he can do VIP at my age then he's living quite well.
I asked a few other questions that didn't get answered but instead you pulled in a few more questions.
Well, directly asking to see you OTC is one way, probably the most extreme way, a more subtle way might be, "what do you usually do after work?" or something like that, or something maybe even more subtle, like asking you about your life outside, or commenting about you sexually in a general sense..
FAIL! Dancers and the like see that second question as the "set up" routine. You will not get anywhere with "what do you usually do after work". It's not subtle at all. It screams "meet me after work"!!!!
Would you say most customers for you fit that category?
Most customers that are my age don't push like that. Only the ones that aren't spending get pushy for info. Guys my age if they have money like that tend to just enjoy the fun and don't get all personal-digging for information with me. They make small hints at it like wow wish I could have dated a girl like you. My response is yeah too bad you came here to find me. lol Well atleast we will always have (insert name of strip club) .
skwadim
09-23-2011, 08:38 PM
"Not every guy goes into the VIP to try to do something sexual. Some guy just want to take you there for one on one conversation. Again there's always something different for everyone and the guy that's not pushy would get a better vote in my book. "
Hmm, well that's some Holden Caulfield stuff, but thats a pretty expensive one on one conversation
FAIL! Dancers and the like see that second question as the "set up" routine. You will not get anywhere with "what do you usually do after work". It's not subtle at all. It screams "meet me after work"!!!!
It's more subtle than "let's go back to my place and have sex" thats what I was getting at. There are probably more subtle ways like, "I bet you get real tired after work" or "do you have a long drive?" or stuff like that. basically anything that acknowledges your humanity outside of the club.
hurrication
09-23-2011, 08:48 PM
LOL, "accomplish"? It's just an opinion on a message board dude. I'm not putting that much pressure on my self...
Oh, well okay then.. It seemed like my post about an observation that had nothing to do with strippers or clubs that just happened to be on a board about strippers and clubs seemed to somehow bother you. :confused:
Sorry, but that is a load of crap ..... when it is you who might have an issue.
Hmm..... So you not believing that I hear young women frequently complain that their boyfriends are jerks somehow equates to me having issues? Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. /:O
You know, I have just decided that since the poster who I originally quoted with my observation has acknowledged what I have to say, that there is no need to try and explain myself to anyone else who forms ridiculous assumptions about me based on a couple of sentences. Don't even bother replying because I won't be here to read them.. peace out!
cherryblossomsinspring
09-23-2011, 08:55 PM
haha yikes! sorry about that mate, I'm fairly new here, is there an easy way to tell?
I guess the question is, you've never even for a second thought about what it might be like to have sex with a stripper OTC? I have, I mean I'd be lying if I said I haven't.
Wait so this entire post was about you getting laid for free? I thought you were trying to find love. What was the point of all of that " well the money is attached to a real person" line. Sheesh. Thanks for finally getting real with your true intentions. Wow only took a month or so to get that out in the open.
skwadim
09-23-2011, 10:13 PM
Wait so this entire post was about you getting laid for free? I thought you were trying to find love. What was the point of all of that " well the money is attached to a real person" line. Sheesh. Thanks for finally getting real with your true intentions. Wow only took a month or so to get that out in the open.
I think you might want to take a break from extrapolating conclusions from single line statements, and think a little bit more about context. I said the wallet connected to human being thing to simply explain why a thought of 'oh hmm it would be nice to have sex with this sexually attractive woman' might arise.
Commenting that strippers should acknowledge guys are human beings in SC's is not the same as saying I walk in hoping to find my true love.
Saying that I have thoughts once in a while about having sex with a stripper that I'm attracted to, OTC (even though I know there's little to no chance of it happening) is not the same wanting to "get laid for free"
For whatever reason you operate in absolutes, believe it or not, I actually think there's a middle ground of being attracted to a stripper (or any woman really) wanting to have sex with her, not having it be completely meaningless, but not walking out of there with a fiance either.
anouk.oui
09-24-2011, 01:08 AM
^ nawww cute.
customer = walking wallet.
whats this about human beings?
yoda57us
09-24-2011, 03:32 AM
Oh, well okay then.. It seemed like my post about an observation that had nothing to do with strippers or clubs that just happened to be on a board about strippers and clubs seemed to somehow bother you. :confused:
Bother me? Nah, you are giving yourself a little too much credit there. Your presence here and your post's irrelevance to the topic are a bit puzzling. Since, at the age of 27, you appear to have given up on women and choose to spend your spare time Googling and complaining I guess it all makes sense...
You know, I have just decided that since the poster who I originally quoted with my observation has acknowledged what I have to say, that there is no need to try and explain myself to anyone else who forms ridiculous assumptions about me based on a couple of sentences. Don't even bother replying because I won't be here to read them.. peace out!
promise?
skwadim
09-24-2011, 07:51 AM
"customer = walking wallet."
how 'bout you say that to every customer that walks in - lemme know how that works out for you?