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Almost Jaded
11-06-2011, 05:30 PM
Kelly - not counting the times I am INTENTIONALLY an asshole looking to offend, I have managed, at different times, both on SW and IRL (not to mention other boards, lol), to horribly offend friends, strangers, family members, significant others, and probably God - by trying to be lighthearted and popping off with my version of humor, or by being the "all business get-r-done" person I can tend to be when something needs handled. It happens.

I once offended Mediocrity to tears and hurt her feelings horribly in chat one day and damn near got myself ostracized from one of my fave circles on this site by making a comment that was intended to be a back-handed compliment. A few months ago I offended another SW who was visiting Vegas with her SO because my demeanor over the phone while trying to set something up came off as harsh when I was merely in a hurry - and then her SO started texting me and I overreacted and it escalated into something really awful and ruined everyone's night for no good reason. I alienated one of my best friends of years by being honest, and we haven't spoken in almost 5 years now as a result (though in all fairness to myself, he handled that whole situation about as insanely badly as possible). It goes on and on.

We all do it, speaking to the unintentional times, and as much as we'd like to take things back or "undo", the onus is also on the other parties to not instantly assume something is meant to offend - something else that I know I am sometimes guilty of as well.

This is especially true on an internet board or via text, etc, where nuance can be hard to detect.

:shrug:

unbeleavable
11-06-2011, 07:48 PM
AJ your a smart man, we are all human & make mistakes. Emotions get the best off us & we show our ass.

Kellydancer
11-06-2011, 10:23 PM
AJ, if you have offended me it was probably so minor that I have forgotten. There are people who have offended me big time here and IRL along with other sites, but for the most part I try not to have contact with them. But that is the problem with online, because we can't see someone we can't see what they are thinking or even if they are kidding. I know a few have gotten upset with certain views I have because they pertain to them, but have told them I am not talking about them, just things I've seen IRL. People often take comments as pertaining to them when it's not about them really at all.

Almost Jaded
11-07-2011, 02:54 AM
If I offend unintentionally, I try my damndest to apologize sincerely and explain myself. Sometimes people will hear it, sometimes they won't. :shrug:

When I do it on purpose, EVERYONE will know, because I will make THAT shit OBVIOUS, lol. Basically, if something I say is followed by ANY kind of apology toward the specific person targeted, or an attempt to make things right at all, it was unintentional. Otherwise... :evil:

Reason #3,235,728 that MM is the most amazing woman on earth: When I say something that makes her mad, 90% of the time (literally, she's very good about it and I wish I was as good as she is) she will stop and say "baby, I don't know if you intended that to be hurtful or not, so please say it again and explain what you meant". Like, word for word. And 99% of the time, it's "oh - okay, that makes sense, I didn't think you were trying to hurt my feelings but I took that [some way I didn't mean it] at first so I thought I would double check before I got upset with you". Gawd she's awesome...

mediocrity
11-07-2011, 03:03 AM
I would just like to add that, where I was deeply and profoundly offended.. I certainly was not crying.

Brandi_Lynn
11-07-2011, 04:20 AM
Thanks. I know sometimes it comes out in some postings and I fail to mention why I feel certain ways on things. Then again making mistakes is part of learning.

Very true, hun. We're only human. I've been alittle low & emotionally unstable for myself, lately -but, hey, we're only human.

I'm a huge feminist but also a traditionalist -so I often times have to deal w/ online & real life hell. I feel ya, babe! xo :-*

Brandi_Lynn
11-07-2011, 04:28 AM
Thanks. I know sometimes it comes out in some postings and I fail to mention why I feel certain ways on things. Then again making mistakes is part of learning.

I completely feel ya, dear. It's rough & it really fucking sucks, sometimes! I've just had to learn to have a strong tummy & heart. Also -beat em to the punch!

silk55
11-07-2011, 06:54 AM
Boy did I get some input on this thread. Yes emotions got the best of me. ;)

Almost Jaded
11-07-2011, 05:38 PM
Sorry Med - wasn't trying to imply anything, I misunderstood something that was said at the time I guess.

whirlerz
11-09-2011, 03:54 PM
Boy did I get some input on this thread. Yes emotions got the best of me. ;)

Yeah, right?! 'S ok, you're cool..I think a few kinda tripped upon here too, I kinda quit reading this, got a little lengthy