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rickdugan
11-07-2011, 09:45 AM
The other night, a dancer went to the DR and cried after I poked fun at her. I wasn't trying to be nasty, but apparently it was something that she was sensitive about.

The dancer in question ws a Russian girl who's command of English is poor. She approached me a couple of times in the past and interacting with her has always been difficult because she simply does not understand English. Then, the other night, she tried to make small talk during her tip walk and, after a couple of exchanges, it was clear to me that she didn't understand a word that I was saying. So, after she said something meaningless back to me, I responded with a "you don't understand a word that I'm saying, do you?" with a smile and a nod. She also smiled and nodded and asked me another question as if I had never made the statement. So I sent her off with a tip and a thank you.

Unfortunately, sitting two seats down was another Russian dancer who, as the girl was leaving me, piped in with a translation of what I had just said. Soon after, the girl that I had teased ran back to the DR and cried. I didn't understand what was happening when my fav and one other Russian dancer suddenly jumped up and followed this girl into the DR, but upon her return my fav clued me in to what happened.

I wasn't trying to be an asshole, but I guess I went a little too far on this one.

All Good Things
11-07-2011, 12:19 PM
It's possible that something got lost in the translation here.

It looks like your fav is Russian too, correct?

If so, you might want to ask her exactly what translation the nearby Russian dancer gave to the girl who was so upset about your comments.

Russian dancers typically speak among themselves in a highly colloquial Russian that is laced with obscenities -- this assumes no other Russian would be within earshot, as this dialect is usually reserved for men and very old women, but is also used by women in closed company.

In English your phrase is not only innocent, it's a bit forgiving, especially when combined with a smile:

"You don't understand a word I'm saying, do you?"

The most neutral translation would be something like:

"Ty ne ponimaesh' ni odnovo slova o chem ya govoryu, ne pravda li?"

But the colloquial version would be:

"Ty ne ponimaesh' ni khuyovogo slova o chem ya govoryu, ne prava li?"

[You don't understand a fucking word I'm saying, do you?]

Since the nearby dancer was reporting what you said, it was most likely:

"On skazal chto ty ne ponyala ni khuyovogo slova o chom on govoril."

["He said you didn't understand a fucking word he said."]

This, of course, would make anybody feel bad no matter what language is spoken -- and the smile becomes snide, harsh or ironic (which I'm sure you didn't intend).

Just one possible avenue to explore -- it just seems so unusual for your original comment to have caused a dancer to completely break down in tears. :-\

Naida
11-07-2011, 12:42 PM
There is the possibility that the other dancer translated properly and the girl has just become self-conscious and sensitive about her inability to learn English.

Or maybe the other dancer said something else entirely, as jealous dancers are wont to do.

Either way, if you're seriously bothered by the incident and your fav is also Russian, try talking to her in the future with your fav acting as translator. Apologize for upsetting her and maybe do a double dance with both girls. Maybe, if you're feeling generous, get her an English learning kit as a gift (but give it to her with or via your fav to avoid misunderstanding)

rickdugan
11-07-2011, 07:16 PM
Good points all around. Of course I have no way of knowing exactly how my words were translated, but either way I suppose that the effect is the same in that the girl walked away with the impression that I treated her badly. And, to be honest, she would not be completely wrong. I was having a little fun at her expense and was taking advantage of her lack of comprehension in order to do so. Alcohol might have played a role in that, but of course that is no excuse.

Naida, thanks also for the thoughts on making it right. I might also look for an option 3, such as simply tipping her well the next time I see her on stage along with an apology - in Russian of course. ;)

mediocrity
11-07-2011, 08:49 PM
Maybe it would have been better to ask "Do you understand?" rather than "You don't understand a word I'm saying, do you?". It leaves out the "negative" words and there's less left to interpretation. The smiling and nodding can also easily be construed as a positive statement to someone who doesn't understand OR can come off as you imitating her and being rude.

KS_Stevia
11-08-2011, 08:17 AM
Who knows, some people are more sensitive. Russian language is a very low-context language, much like German and the polar opposite of Japanese. Russians pull no punches and are very direct. She got busted...not so much by you, but I think by her peers as well. Not only did she feel ridiculed by you, she was also ridiculed by her mates.

I was pretty young when I learned english but I still have some faint memories of kids making fun of me because I wasn't understanding them, but I clearly understood when they laughed at me because I couldn't respond to them.

Oh shit, another memory pops up. I was a young teenager somewhere in Europe, and I was with my mom, but hanging out in the hotel's common area. Some kids invited me to play video games with them and I was so happy to be with kids my own age. We started playing, which required no talking, then they asked me a question in (either Italian or French) and I answered in that language that I didn't understand and they started laughing at me. I held steadfast in front of them but then left and started bawling.

So, I can totally relate to what happened, particularly since she's Russian and I know my peeps can be some brutal motherfuckers.

Naida
11-08-2011, 02:24 PM
Russian isn't exactly a language of pleasantries (I dated a man who was Russian a few years ago and he only spoke his native language towards me when being blunt or vulgar) so just try to be careful, okay? Naturally, women are more receptive to acts of kindness, but if your tone isn't right she could mistake it for more mockery.

Either way, good luck setting things straight.

KS_Stevia
11-08-2011, 07:09 PM
Russian is a beautiful rich poetic language, don't assume that its potential in literary form is like the familiar form.

Its like comparing Steinbeck to the conversation two teenagers have.....there is a great quality in the language, but it can be very brutal and blunt.

In Russian, the word whore, pussy, and penis can be a noun, verb, and adjective, lol....

xoAnnaBanana
11-10-2011, 07:53 PM
The other night, a dancer went to the DR and cried after I poked fun at her. I wasn't trying to be nasty, but apparently it was something that she was sensitive about.

The dancer in question ws a Russian girl who's command of English is poor...

I don't know if someone pointed this out yet or not but perhaps your "command of English" isn't so great either... *pokes fun* ;D Please don't cry, but it's "whose" not "who's."

And referring to the point of your original post, I wouldn't worry about it. Your intention was not mean-spirited and you know that (it's not your fault she was overly sensitive and took it the wrong way). Personally, on the asshole scale of customer comments... that ranks at a big fat zero to me.

rickdugan
11-11-2011, 07:40 AM
I don't know if someone pointed this out yet or not but perhaps your "command of English" isn't so great either... *pokes fun* ;D Please don't cry, but it's "whose" not "who's."

LOL. You are quite right. I have to admit that I'm getting a little misty after being called out on such a blatant grammar goof up. ;)

And I appreciate the other comments as well. I tend to agree that what I did was mild, but I also have to admit that I was being a bit of a shithead.

mediocrity
11-12-2011, 07:51 PM
LOL. You are quite right. I have to admit that I'm getting a little misty after being called out on such a blatant grammar goof up. ;)

And I appreciate the other comments as well. I tend to agree that what I did was mild, but I also have to admit that I was being a bit of a shithead.

I like you a lot Rick, you're one of my all time favourite posters, but AHA! The truth comes out.

This is why I highly dislike when people "poke fun" at me. It isn't fun, and is easily misconstrued, especially in a club where actions are constantly being over interpreted. Makes for poor communication, unless you and the person you're bantering with are very blatantly on the same page.

Athenathefabulous
11-12-2011, 07:59 PM
if she struggles with english, she probably gets 100 customers a night who try to take advantage of her or make fun of her because of the language barrier. your comment might have been the last straw on a bad night of asshole customers.

in general, unless the teasing appears to be mutual, its not nice to tease strippers when they are at work. a lot of customers come in and assume we are dumb as rocks. it gets grating after a while... there is a reason why a lot of us end up in bad moods and treating customers with the same level of disrespect.

JoeUnCool
11-13-2011, 02:06 PM
a few thoughts here.
1. Women are much more sensitive than men.
2. She has to look sexy when she doesn't necessarily feel that way. There is probably some amount of natural insecurity.
3. Jokes, or just little statements, from people that you don't know are not thought of as jokes but mean spirited statements.

Personally, I think things would be better if we weren't so sensitive and just let things roll off of our backs, but that isn't realistic either.

kaiarose
11-13-2011, 02:18 PM
And it could've just been the straw that broke the camel's back. She may have been having a bad night already. It's happened to me.

rickdugan
11-13-2011, 04:19 PM
I like you a lot Rick, you're one of my all time favourite posters, but AHA! The truth comes out.

Thank you. :blush:

And of course LOL. Idk what happened that night and it is definitely not my MO. I've previously been frustrated in dealing with this girl and, when I had to deal with her again, I said what I said. There is no excuse for it, but there it is.

Mr Hyde
11-23-2011, 08:40 PM
This is one of the major reasons why I don't dig Euro strippers. I like talking with girls at the SC and even when they speak English, they usually don't get the idioms, cultural references, etc...so even though they usually look great, it's a boring time.

Coit
11-24-2011, 07:35 PM
Who cares if you made them cry or not, their strippers. They are for entertainment purposes only and it seems like you got some entertainment out of belittling her so what's to feel bad about? When I was young I wanted to be like you Mr. Rick Dugan and save fallen women from all the evildoers. What I failed to understand was that despite the punishment even rape the women were proud of what had been done to them and secretly loved the people who did it, and in their eyes I was the a-hole not them. So much for Spiderman to the rescue. When you quit worrying about how they feel and start treating them like dirt you will start getting in their pants instead of they in your wallet. People respond well to authority despite what you hear on the internet, and strippers respond doubly well to sexual authority, particularly from drug dealers. Just ask some of these stripper women with the fancy avatars on here about some of their boyfriends who treat them like dirt, instead of let them sell you a bill of goods about how your such a great guy for caring. The comment even told you she thought you were dirt after 1000 posts all the while trying to play you for a sucker. Quit going to the place with this russian girl and find a place where you can rail on these girls hard for a decent price. It will change your life. I guarantee it.

lopaw
11-24-2011, 09:23 PM
Who cares if you made them cry or not, their strippers. They are for entertainment purposes only and it seems like you got some entertainment out of belittling her so what's to feel bad about? When I was young I wanted to be like you Mr. Rick Dugan and save fallen women from all the evildoers. What I failed to understand was that despite the punishment even rape the women were proud of what had been done to them and secretly loved the people who did it, and in their eyes I was the a-hole not them. So much for Spiderman to the rescue. When you quit worrying about how they feel and start treating them like dirt you will start getting in their pants instead of they in your wallet. People respond well to authority despite what you hear on the internet, and strippers respond doubly well to sexual authority, particularly from drug dealers. Just ask some of these stripper women with the fancy avatars on here about some of their boyfriends who treat them like dirt, instead of let them sell you a bill of goods about how your such a great guy for caring. The comment even told you she thought you were dirt after 1000 posts all the while trying to play you for a sucker. Quit going to the place with this russian girl and find a place where you can rail on these girls hard for a decent price. It will change your life. I guarantee it.



lmfao....can't wait for the fall out of this drivel.

All Good Things
11-24-2011, 10:31 PM
^ If this guy were an isotope, I'd estimate his half-life at a dozen hours.

What strikes me is how unoriginal and trite his racist, sexist, hateful shitfest really is.

rickdugan
11-25-2011, 09:27 AM
When you quit worrying about how they feel and start treating them like dirt you will start getting in their pants instead of they in your wallet.

That shit really only works on the weakest and most insecure chicks. Whether they are strippers or girls IRL, I have no interest in culling the weakest from any herd, nor is it good karma to prey upon messed up girls. I had that period in my life where I fucked too many of these types of girls and not only did it result in way too much drama, but they were also the crappiest lays. So if that is your gig then fine, you can have those girls and I'll continue to enjoy the other types. ;)


When I was young I wanted to be like you Mr. Rick Dugan and save fallen women from all the evildoers.

LOL. Yup, that's me. RD to the rescue! ::)

Dude, read a little before you post. I'm the last person anyone around here would view as a savior. But, as I learned in my younger years, running games on girls in order to get in their pants is just not worth the product or the fallout.


Just ask some of these stripper women with the fancy avatars on here about some of their boyfriends who treat them like dirt, instead of let them sell you a bill of goods about how your such a great guy for caring.

Wow, I feel like I've experienced an awakening! You're right, these crafty strippers, with their oh so fancy avatars, are just trying to fool me! Man, thanks for coming on here and setting me straight. From now on, I'll make sure to treat all them stripper hoes like shit...

...or, I'll just keep doing what I do, which seems to be working out quite well for me. :P

And, btw, you have no idea how these girls' SOs treat them, so stop posting out of your ass.

yoda57us
11-25-2011, 11:25 AM
When you quit worrying about how they feel and start treating them like dirt you will start getting in their pants instead of they in your wallet. People respond well to authority despite what you hear on the internet, and strippers respond doubly well to sexual authority, particularly from drug dealers. Just ask some of these stripper women with the fancy avatars on here about some of their boyfriends who treat them like dirt, instead of let them sell you a bill of goods about how your such a great guy for caring.

Wow...

OK, going on the assumption (and it's a heck of a leap for me) that you are actually living the life you describe and not making it all up as you type from your mother's basement, I have an alternate view...

I used to pay street walkers. I also used to pay for VERY cheap sex in a really skanky strip club or two. What I found after a while was that it was boring. It was boring because it was mechanical. Women who perform sex acts out of desperation (not "pay the rent" or "feed the kids" necessity but "my pimp will beat me" or "I need a fix" desperation) are no fun to be with. If all you care about is getting your dick wet I guess it will do but, if I'm going to pay, I'd rather be with someone who baths regularly, has all of her teeth and actually takes her job seriously because she makes a lot of money at it.

Your world, or at least the one you fantasize about in your head and spew-forth here, is a nasty place to be in for everyone but you. I have no desire to live that way or treat women that way.

Call me crazy...

Natalllia
11-25-2011, 11:25 AM
LOL @ "fancy avatars".
Wtf?
:loco: