View Full Version : Warning against Blackmailing Customer
Lady Xplicit18
11-17-2011, 04:05 PM
So I smell a troll, or someone who needs a serious reality check that this isn't a game.
!!!!!
cyberstripper
11-17-2011, 04:21 PM
I am totally curious what set dude off tho. I mean, seriously, you are going above and beyond the call of camgirl-duty for this lunatic.
I know sometimes it is easier to refund the money and try to wipe ur hands clean of assholes, but this dude was promised more then shows and that is why giving his money back is not satisfying him and he continues to harass you.
To help fix this disaster, I would suggest you STOP all contact with this guy immediately. Make sure your "personal" facebooks, etc, anything with your real name online.... is shut down. This dude could go crazy with your personal info and have horrible consequences. If your name leads to friends and family members online profiles, seriously think...do you want said lunatic and other lunatics like him to be able to access the people in your personal life?
Also, how is this guy trying to blackmail you? Is he threatening to use your personal info/pics/etc against you? What exactly is he trying to blackmail with? I mean....if the dude tries to post any of this stuff online without your consent there could be serious LEGAL consequences for him to have to deal with. 2257 laws help alot in this case. This dude cannot post your pics/video anywhere without your consent and if they are adult photos he will have 2257 laws to contend with. If you take safety precautions to protect your personal info, shut down anything that has to do with your real name online, there is not much he can do with your real name either.
Since ur bf gave him his money back:O this guy is getting exactly what he wants: he sees he is putting you into a little fear and it is only making the monster stronger. You are feeding the monster in your present state of replying to him, refunding him and trying to appease him. IGNORE HIM, BAN HIM, and eventually the monster will look for his next victim. Don't let him ruffle your feathers. Do not respond to his threats, and eventually they will stop.
I would also like to ask which payment processor you used. I dont know of any legit ones, that will give out a anyones personal info. I know paypal does, but paypal is not a legitimate adult processor. Shame shame.
CandaceMoon
11-17-2011, 04:22 PM
I really don't know what to make of this. And I'm not sure I can add anything that hasn't already been said. It just really boggles my mind that someone would meet a cam custy. Boggles my mind that you met your hubby in the same kinda way. You got lucky, for real. Boggles my mind that you would go from him being a customer to being a potential fuck buddy.
I'm married, my hubby and I used to swing. My cam customers are THE LAST dudes I would consider meeting up with. Like...ever. It isn't even a consideration for me. There are some dudes I chat with, they like me, I like them...they spend money on me. Will I consider meeting them? The notion doesn't even cross my mind. Certainly not as a swinging partner. I would possibly consider meeting someone for a fetish session, but not for free, and not for sexual activities. And I might not even do that. It would have to be pristine circumstances.
And if my hubby ever interfered in my camming business, so far as to refund money without consulting me, there would be some...ahem...discussions that night. I probably would not get over it.
BuffyFlame
11-17-2011, 04:55 PM
I didnt bother reading after the first couple of posts, I know nothing about meeting custies in public , Im just here to offer my sympathy, People, in general will be cruel, especially if they have something (anything) on you, And i fear you just gave allot more people something to hold over you.
On the other hand, maybe you got something out of this, And i would like to recommend club iniquity (they have several branches in several states) for all your further swinger needs, These men on the internet arnt stable enough for it.
ManyRoses
11-17-2011, 05:00 PM
I'm with Candace - I don't feel that there is a whole lot that I can add to what has been said.
What I will say is that the biggest issue I have with this is that you (OP) are screwing with my business. DesuvsDeath is 100% correct here - you are devaluing us, and our industry. You are ruining our business. You are creating a situation where guys think that we are not WORKING for MONEY, but that this is some kind of pick-up site, where we are looking for new "fuck-buddies". If you want to escort (which it sounds like you don't) then advertise yourself as an escort and charge an appropriate fee for your services. If you don't want to escort, and just want to swing with your boyfriend, then camsites are NOT the place. Look at swingers clubs, swingers sites, adultfriendfinder etc etc. The internet is swimming with appropriate places to meet people to fuck for free.
By doing this through a cam site, you are training guys to expect this from the rest of us. You are treating this INDUSTRY like your own personal dating site, and that is absolutely not appropriate - this kind of behavior ruins it for those of us who do this as a career.
If you really cared about helping out other girls (as that was the point of the OP, right? To prevent us being blackmailed by this guy?) Then STOP FUCKING CUSTYS FOR FREE.
IsobelWren
11-17-2011, 05:46 PM
^^
You've missed the point. That makes you even more stupid. You're meeting some low-budget cam custy for random sex for free. And still getting screwed. Again, get out of this industry, for your own good.
OJenni! is posting as a woman with experience camming and doing outcall. She obviously knows how to gauge the monetary value of a cam show vs. a live session. If this guy only paid you $150, cumulatively for a handful of shows, why would you even consider meeting him, in person? Some of us get paid hundreds (or even thousands) of dollars for long periods of time before we even consider meeting a customer face-to-face. The idea of a free casual sex encounter for what you earned (and gave back, of your own free will, no less) is dumbfounding.
I don't think that she was meeting him as an escort. I think that she and her boyfriend just dug the guy and wanted to fuck him for fun. I think we've all occasionally seen someone on cam whom we've thought, "Yeah I could be interested in him in real life..." but few have actually done anything about it.
IsobelWren
11-17-2011, 06:09 PM
OP, I'm sorry that this happened to you and I'm sorry that you lost your money and got some flack from the other girls on here. Now you know for the future that you were being way too naive and trusting and that you need to make an absolute separation between work, fun and the day job.
We've all had a stumble or two on our journey to being seasoned adult industry mavens, hopefully you've learned a lot and this one will be your only/most painful stumble.
I'm sure that you can see what you need to do in the future (starting an LLC or putting payment info all in someone else's name, hiding your identity, working through a shell corp, getting a PO box) and will stay away from cam clients as swinging potential except in circumstances where you've gotten to know them much better.
You were lucky having met your husband, you may not be so lucky with this guy and you likely won't ever be so lucky in the future.
For this time, I'd agree with Brown Fox that you need to put the fear of God into the guy and let him know that any further attempts to contact you or make life difficult for you will result in legal action on your part (or in contacting his wife and children). Then put your ducks in a row in case he still makes trouble and DO NOT CONTACT HIM AGAIN. BLOCK HIM FROM EVERYTHING. Since you're naive about hiding your real life identity in payments, perhaps you're also taking payments through paypal. Take your money out and close the account he paid you through if that's the case.
I know that you feel that your job has no right to dictate what you do on your off hours. I agree. However, when you took the job you knew that they would do so, so it was risky and -in fact- asking for trouble to do something they tell you not to do. Don't let the worry that he'll contact your day job consume you, but do try and do a little damage control and either move to a job that doesn't have a morality clause or decide whether you enjoy camming enough to keep doing it at the very real risk of losing your job. I think it's shitty that your job can do this but you agreed to their rules when you signed up.
Lastly, I do appreciate that you came on here to warn us of a psycho client and I understand the need to vent. I think what the other girls are trying to say is that this kind of thing happens very rarely (it's the first I've heard of it, actually) since most girls would nip it in the bud when the client even suggested meeting in person. So thank you for being proactive but I think that we're all good. Now, if you come up across someone who does excessive chargebacks and out him, I think everyone will saint you. :)
Best of luck for your situation!
MzStar
11-17-2011, 06:20 PM
yea .....i have to agree $150 isnt shit .....thats crack whore prices.....personally the only way im metting in real life is if they guy is buying me a car or property..... LMAO
AND REFUND!!!!!??????WTF ? who does that?
Spinnerette
11-17-2011, 06:37 PM
As an aside, do you ladies really believe that the men you meet on cam and the men you see in the real world are two different breeds? They're not. One in the same. It's just "socially acceptable" to act like a fucking ass when it comes to being online.
Sorry, had to say that because it's bothering me that it seems like some people have a disconnect there. O_o
TheBrownFox
11-17-2011, 07:20 PM
This thread should probably be locked now. It's just gonna get more pages added onto it, with different ladies saying "OMG, what were you thinking?!" LOL. For her sake, I hope that the OP has learned her lesson.
Juliette25
11-17-2011, 07:33 PM
Don't feed the trolls ladies. I haven't even read through this thread it's BS.
MzStar
11-17-2011, 08:55 PM
As an aside, do you ladies really believe that the men you meet on cam and the men you see in the real world are two different breeds? They're not. One in the same. It's just "socially acceptable" to act like a fucking ass when it comes to being online.
Sorry, had to say that because it's bothering me that it seems like some people have a disconnect there. O_o
Hold -up!!!!!
So you know guys that think about fucking animals???
have rape fetishes....
like to beat or get beat by women.....
like their cock talk bad to....
because I sure never have.
MzStar
11-17-2011, 08:56 PM
Don't feed the trolls ladies. I haven't even read through this thread it's BS.
Don't hate !......lol
FEED ME!!!!!!!
neliana
11-17-2011, 08:57 PM
Yup you might have met tons of guys with crazy fetishes like that...they just never admit it! Most guys will only reveal their cuckold/animal/cum eating etc etc fetish to sex workers. Not family or friends
HaydenBlue
11-17-2011, 08:58 PM
As an aside, do you ladies really believe that the men you meet on cam and the men you see in the real world are two different breeds? They're not. One in the same. It's just "socially acceptable" to act like a fucking ass when it comes to being online.
Sorry, had to say that because it's bothering me that it seems like some people have a disconnect there. O_o
True but first impressions and how we are seen is exactly how "these men" (camming) chose to respond and act towards us. I think that is the separation that is being pointed out here.
Example...If you meet a guy at a country club and spend time with him, he could be charming, sweet and inviting. You would like him. You would want to get to know more about him.
Or if your first glimpse of this guy is in prison you would be scared, and have a lack of sympathy for this same guy. On top of it all you would assume he's a rapist, murder, etc or someone who is genuinely out to hurt you. You would not want to get anywhere near him or find out who he is as a person.
Flip side...people ie men would treat us completely different if we were all working at a bridal shop, important office job. We would be well dressed, in a public authoritative position, and we would be respected.
Because we are in the adult industry and strip, escort and cam...society has taught us all that women who show off their bodies and get paid for it are not to be respected and are nothing but living blow-up dolls.
And that is how we are treated and viewed by "these men." We are not girlfriend material, they don't want to marry us. They don't want to be friends. They are detached from us and want sex.
tinydancer23
11-17-2011, 09:13 PM
jesus christ. in the future, if you want to fuck other men and swing and shit, find somebody on fetlife. don't ever mix camming with swinging.
Spinnerette
11-17-2011, 09:35 PM
Yup you might have met tons of guys with crazy fetishes like that...they just never admit it! Most guys will only reveal their cuckold/animal/cum eating etc etc fetish to sex workers. Not family or friends
Thank you. Didn't think it had to be spelled out.
Spinnerette
11-17-2011, 09:41 PM
True but first impressions and how we are seen is exactly how "these men" (camming) chose to respond and act towards us. I think that is the separation that is being pointed out here.
Example...If you meet a guy at a country club and spend time with him, he could be charming, sweet and inviting. You would like him. You would want to get to know more about him.
Or if your first glimpse of this guy is in prison you would be scared, and have a lack of sympathy for this same guy. On top of it all you would assume he's a rapist, murder, etc or someone who is genuinely out to hurt you. You would not want to get anywhere near him or find out who he is as a person.
Flip side...people ie men would treat us completely different if we were all working at a bridal shop, important office job. We would be well dressed, in a public authoritative position, and we would be respected.
Because we are in the adult industry and strip, escort and cam...society has taught us all that women who show off their bodies and get paid for it are not to be respected and are nothing but living blow-up dolls.
And that is how we are treated and viewed by "these men." We are not girlfriend material, they don't want to marry us. They don't want to be friends. They are detached from us and want sex.
Yes. And my point is that most of what people come across in this world are facades. Some of them aren't even really good. The way people act online for the most part is who they REALLY are deep down. People act the way they act in the "real world" because they have to to get by in society where there are "rules". When you're sitting in a strip club or behind a computer screen, there are few to no consequences so that's where people get crazy.
Avamonet
11-17-2011, 10:43 PM
As an aside, do you ladies really believe that the men you meet on cam and the men you see in the real world are two different breeds? They're not. One in the same. It's just "socially acceptable" to act like a fucking ass when it comes to being online.
Sorry, had to say that because it's bothering me that it seems like some people have a disconnect there. O_o
I say this all the time. I don't know if people think these guys live on island somewhere just for cam customers or what. That guy who wants you pee on yourself is to everyone else "Bob" from the second floor. And the guy who eats his own cum has kids and probably grand kids and he's probably a minister at the church. They're only "freaks" to us. To the rest of the world, they appear perfectly normal. We're actually safer because at least we know what we're dealing with and we're behind a computer screen.
I have normal guys on cam and I have fetish guys on cam and they make the distinction very clear but in real life it's all smoke and mirrors.
MzStar
11-17-2011, 11:01 PM
Thank YOU hayden......the most important thing is that you are less in THEIR eyes......
its like dating a Trick from the track or
a some guy from the stripclub.....
Okay some girls get lucky But MOST dont.....not worth the chance in my book.
MistyRose
11-17-2011, 11:04 PM
I cannot even imagine the circumstances under which I'd want to meet some of my cam customers, whether for money or for free. Someones response is my reason: (most of) these guys already have an image built about us and possibly a slight obsession if they're long term regulars and I see a myriad of reasons for it to go wrong. Some girls have done it and it went great (a shoutout to a girl here who did a date raffle and brought a bodyguard with her ;D), I can never tell what I will do in 3 years course, but this is just my general opinion right now.
But it's a fact that these guys are someone's sons, brothers, boyfriends, husbands, grandchildren that bring their Nana her favorite chocolates; they could be your pizza delivery guy or your doctor or your college professor you look up to. I think it's quite unfair to sort them all under "freaks" and file them in a drawer. All people have needs, but everybody seeks different outlets. Doesn't mean they're mental because one day they decided to type the credit card number and spend $137 on CherryPie46.
As for not knowing anyone with weird fetishes, hahaha, giiirl. You're kidding yourself! I have customers who are ashamed to admit their gf's such innocent things I find it half sad, half cute. "I can't tell her I like stockings that much...I'm really embarassed, it's a secret" (that's an actual, real example) I cannot IMAGINE how hard it must be telling someone you care for you want to wear a chastity belt and be forced to eat someone elses creampie from your gf's pussy or that you want to wear a pink tutu and be called a slut or even worse, it turns you on thinking about your gf's bowel movements.
This is the reason we're in business, women! #sexworkers purpose
curiousallthetime
11-18-2011, 06:56 AM
I am totally curious what set dude off tho. I mean, seriously, you are going above and beyond the call of camgirl-duty for this lunatic.
I know sometimes it is easier to refund the money and try to wipe ur hands clean of assholes, but this dude was promised more then shows and that is why giving his money back is not satisfying him and he continues to harass you.
To help fix this disaster, I would suggest you STOP all contact with this guy immediately. Make sure your "personal" facebooks, etc, anything with your real name online.... is shut down. This dude could go crazy with your personal info and have horrible consequences. If your name leads to friends and family members online profiles, seriously think...do you want said lunatic and other lunatics like him to be able to access the people in your personal life?
Also, how is this guy trying to blackmail you? Is he threatening to use your personal info/pics/etc against you? What exactly is he trying to blackmail with? I mean....if the dude tries to post any of this stuff online without your consent there could be serious LEGAL consequences for him to have to deal with. 2257 laws help alot in this case. This dude cannot post your pics/video anywhere without your consent and if they are adult photos he will have 2257 laws to contend with. If you take safety precautions to protect your personal info, shut down anything that has to do with your real name online, there is not much he can do with your real name either.
Since ur bf gave him his money back:O this guy is getting exactly what he wants: he sees he is putting you into a little fear and it is only making the monster stronger. You are feeding the monster in your present state of replying to him, refunding him and trying to appease him. IGNORE HIM, BAN HIM, and eventually the monster will look for his next victim. Don't let him ruffle your feathers. Do not respond to his threats, and eventually they will stop.
I would also like to ask which payment processor you used. I dont know of any legit ones, that will give out a anyones personal info. I know paypal does, but paypal is not a legitimate adult processor. Shame shame.
Yes- shame shame we used paypal. He wanted to role play incest. We were not okay with that. Once he got the refund, he found my name and discovered I work for (irony of irony) The Department of Child and Family Protective Services. We have definitely stopped all contact.
curiousallthetime
11-18-2011, 06:57 AM
And if my hubby ever interfered in my camming business, so far as to refund money without consulting me, there would be some...ahem...discussions that night. I probably would not get over it.
ROFLMAO- oh there was.
curiousallthetime
11-18-2011, 07:04 AM
True but first impressions and how we are seen is exactly how "these men" (camming) chose to respond and act towards us. I think that is the separation that is being pointed out here.
Example...If you meet a guy at a country club and spend time with him, he could be charming, sweet and inviting. You would like him. You would want to get to know more about him.
Or if your first glimpse of this guy is in prison you would be scared, and have a lack of sympathy for this same guy. On top of it all you would assume he's a rapist, murder, etc or someone who is genuinely out to hurt you. You would not want to get anywhere near him or find out who he is as a person.
Flip side...people ie men would treat us completely different if we were all working at a bridal shop, important office job. We would be well dressed, in a public authoritative position, and we would be respected.
Because we are in the adult industry and strip, escort and cam...society has taught us all that women who show off their bodies and get paid for it are not to be respected and are nothing but living blow-up dolls.
And that is how we are treated and viewed by "these men." We are not girlfriend material, they don't want to marry us. They don't want to be friends. They are detached from us and want sex.
I agree that society has taught them this; however your/my/our job is to teach the correct way to treat a woman. That is the only way the sex industry will become a non-taboo and a respected profession. I do not tolerate being treated disrespectfully by anyone in my rooms (or in life). IMHO, your goals should be to reverse the "training" they have received.
Sam38g
11-18-2011, 07:20 AM
You have a very negative view of men which shows how you view sex in general. Sex is supposed to be fun. I met my fiance (we have been together 3 years) on a webcam site. Not all men are bad. I am sorry you feel that way (or seem to). The men who come in my room and stay are typically different because I sit and have intellectual conversations with them. I rarely even show. This was not a post about protecting myself, but warning others against a potential blackmailer. I am college educated and working on my master's degree- I am in no way stupid.
Thank you for your comments.
Then you should have KNOWN better to risk your job, life, income & future over a cam customer or a fuck.
Warning us of what? We are smarter than to risk so much just for sex.
There are many swinger sites and actual locations than to meet a custie off cam. Yet, you decided to break the rules.
Hmmmm, did you ever consider there are rules for a reason.
Now he will go post everywhere on the web how you refunded his money. Will fuck for free to anyone who ask. Meet in person and give out all of your personal information. YOU decided to take the risk. No sense in crying over it now.
You think we are paranoid, but yet you just prove that we have every right to be so. LMAO
You broke the terms of you camming contract too. Hope you get fired over it. Apparently this is not the business for you.
Think about it as you lose your job, have to move and change your name in order to protect yourself. How free sex isn't so free after all. Someone ALWAYS PAYS! This time it was you instead of him.
Go to the police and explain. Watch them roll their eyes and do nothing.
I do wish that you stay safe from harm, but never assume these men are harmless. You just learned a lessen the hard way.
Sam
HaydenBlue
11-18-2011, 07:45 AM
I agree that society has taught them this; however your/my/our job is to teach the correct way to treat a woman. That is the only way the sex industry will become a non-taboo and a respected profession. I do not tolerate being treated disrespectfully by anyone in my rooms (or in life). IMHO, your goals should be to reverse the "training" they have received.
Hate to burst your bubble, yes we can demand and expect they treat us with respect all day but 99.9% still won't at the core. We can't "train" them. We can manipulate them but they will do the same thing back to us.
I don't take shit from my custies either. Many girl's don't. Doesn't mean 100% of camgirls do.
The media sure doesn't respect us or paint us in a positive light to the mainstream public and I doubt if they ever will.
Difference is these guys will "act nice" and act well behaved and respectful as a way to get what they want but they still look at us as "whores." Bottom line.
Niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a strategy of social interaction not a character trait. Niceness can be a really good manipulation tool.
A customer can go into one room and say, "show me your tits bitch!" and she does it because she doesn't give a shit. He then goes into another girl's room and tips $5 and says, "please babe show me your tits." This is not core respect. He can get what he wants because he is manipulative no matter which way he acts. All he has to do is figure out what makes you tick and then he can make a plan on getting from a to b.
That is what they will believe because they have been brought up with that idea. That is what is being fed to them. The sites that we work on tell them that we will get naked for them and we will do dirty, nasty, slutty things because we want them.
Until the bigger picture changes we can't do shit to 100% change a customers mind that we need to be respected and cherished.
Spinnerette
11-18-2011, 09:27 AM
I say this all the time. I don't know if people think these guys live on island somewhere just for cam customers or what. That guy who wants you pee on yourself is to everyone else "Bob" from the second floor. And the guy who eats his own cum has kids and probably grand kids and he's probably a minister at the church. They're only "freaks" to us. To the rest of the world, they appear perfectly normal. We're actually safer because at least we know what we're dealing with and we're behind a computer screen.
I have normal guys on cam and I have fetish guys on cam and they make the distinction very clear but in real life it's all smoke and mirrors.
Exactly!
But it's a fact that these guys are someone's sons, brothers, boyfriends, husbands, grandchildren that bring their Nana her favorite chocolates; they could be your pizza delivery guy or your doctor or your college professor you look up to. I think it's quite unfair to sort them all under "freaks" and file them in a drawer. All people have needs, but everybody seeks different outlets. Doesn't mean they're mental because one day they decided to type the credit card number and spend $137 on CherryPie46.
As for not knowing anyone with weird fetishes, hahaha, giiirl. You're kidding yourself! I have customers who are ashamed to admit their gf's such innocent things I find it half sad, half cute. "I can't tell her I like stockings that much...I'm really embarassed, it's a secret" (that's an actual, real example) I cannot IMAGINE how hard it must be telling someone you care for you want to wear a chastity belt and be forced to eat someone elses creampie from your gf's pussy or that you want to wear a pink tutu and be called a slut or even worse, it turns you on thinking about your gf's bowel movements.
This is the reason we're in business, women! #sexworkers purpose
This as well. I will not paint all of my customers as scum because what does that make me, catering to them? But then I'm a huge proponent of YKIOK (consensually) so very little offends me anymore unless the customer is downright rude. I don't get much of that anymore. I treat my customers with respect and there are quite a few that extend the same courtesy. This comes from the acknowledgement that I'm not there to judge them for what turns them on. Either I provide it or I direct them to someone who does.
HOWEVER, as is the point of this thread in the first place, this is a BUSINESS and shouldn't be made personal. At all. These guys pay for a service. You give it to them. Leave it at that.
roast
11-18-2011, 09:34 AM
So
if you're here to warn us - what is his name, what is his email address, location, screen name, what site did he meet you on, etc?
curiousallthetime
11-18-2011, 09:39 AM
So
if you're here to warn us - what is his name, what is his email address, location, screen name, what site did he meet you on, etc?
bravos on Cam4
goes by Michael Livingston and David Soward
roast
11-18-2011, 09:47 AM
Thanks.
In your defense, since I did think you were a troll (well tbh I didnt cross-reference those names either so who knows) - but cam4 is marketed as an 'exhibitionist' site and people don't spend tons there. They try to recruit professional models and I think they have a few that broadcast regularly but it is advertised as truly free live sex cams for voyeurs/exhibitionists. You dont even need to submit 2257 info for that site, which is already means it is operating unlawfully. I think you're in a different playing field than the rest of us tbh... kind of like that exhibitionist couple on that Lisa Ling's camming / amateur porn documentary
I still agree with everyone's assessments. Your privacy and maintaining boundaries are paramount - no matter the situation. I especially love how ppl talked about how cam customers are the norm and that people need to be less naive in general. I think we should talk about that more often
But there are posts about screening in Other Work (you can still screen someone who you are fucking for free), and BuffyFlame's suggestion about swingers clubs are a decent one... try for the higher end ones where membership is close to $1K *especially for single men* since it'll weed out the people who aren't serious.
Uh... best of luck I guess.
IsobelWren
11-18-2011, 09:58 AM
Hold -up!!!!!
So you know guys that think about fucking animals???
have rape fetishes....
like to beat or get beat by women.....
like their cock talk bad to....
because I sure never have.
You have, they just haven't told you. It's not socially acceptable to tell a random lady you meet on the street that you want to pretend she's your sister and play taboo incest fetish. It's fine to say it to us on cam, so that's where they feel they can be free and let it out.
What, you think that these guys never go out, never talk to people, never go to work, don't have families? They're normal guys who hold together normal lives and just have these kinks that they bury in the day time and talk to us about in the night time. You may have even dated some of them, they just didn't feel comfortable saying anything to you. That's another reason we stay in business. These guys have weird or extreme fetishes that they just can't bear to bring up to people they know IRL and love. They don't tell their girlfriend that they're wishing she'd laugh at their cock or make them suck a dude off, but they'll tell us!
Blovely
11-18-2011, 11:06 AM
I have nothing to add but if your not a troll then I'm
https://encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRyKB725W9RymP02jI9nrZsXoJlPnl-XcRwCYPGX3Vz8H8kQHm34w
cause that was a tough read. But its the truth.. you should have known that the ladies here are gonna tell it like it is.
ukmissy
11-18-2011, 11:24 AM
^ They didn't tell it like it is, they called her a troll because they thought her question was too stupid to be asked by a normal board member , then people started to realize and back track .
Moral of the story - You guys don't have the right to label a poster a troll, and no new poster should have to prove they aren't a troll . It's a moderated board , people calling names is just making it friggin ugly .
ukmissy
11-18-2011, 11:49 AM
Hold -up!!!!!
So you know guys that think about fucking animals???
have rape fetishes....
like to beat or get beat by women.....
like their cock talk bad to....
because I sure never have.
All of the above in bold = My husband , and that's why I married him . ;)
I can guarantee you've met guys that think about these things ....You may even marry one , and if you consider it as outrageous as you seem to , you will be one of the many women who are married to a kinky man , sadly with no idea!
Power to the kinksters }:D, Me, personally , I couldn't care less who finds me weird , but yes we do indeed exist !
taylor_sweet
11-18-2011, 12:11 PM
This thread should be locked now and personally i wish u the best of luck and learned your lesson. i have nothing more to say some are just to naive i hope we all got thru to u
cyberstripper
11-18-2011, 01:38 PM
he found my name and discovered I work for (irony of irony) The Department of Child and Family Protective Services. We have definitely stopped all contact.
I am completely completely and utterly SPEECHLESS. This really should be what you are worried about, is your job with CPS. You put that at risk the second you started doing camshows. If you are at all concerned about your dayjob, I suggest you quit while you are ahead, no more camshows, or anything sex related for payment. This could put your dayjob at serious risk. It is becasue of situations like this that sex workers have a difficult time finding employment in such industries, and to know someone can so carelessly throw these opportunities away for $150 (that was then refunded lol) and a night of swinging...it really disturbs me. Sorry but it does.
tinydancer23
11-18-2011, 01:47 PM
I am completely completely and utterly SPEECHLESS. This really should be what you are worried about, is your job with CPS. You put that at risk the second you started doing camshows. If you are at all concerned about your dayjob, I suggest you quit while you are ahead, no more camshows, or anything sex related for payment. This could put your dayjob at serious risk. It is becasue of situations like this that sex workers have a difficult time finding employment in such industries, and to know someone can so carelessly throw these opportunities away for $150 (that was then refunded lol) and a night of swinging...it really disturbs me. Sorry but it does.
THIS. this is why when i go back to social work i am staying FAR far from child/family and school social work. being a sex worker and working with kids is just asking for your career to be destroyed.
h0ttie
11-18-2011, 02:21 PM
Yes- shame shame we used paypal. He wanted to role play incest. We were not okay with that. Once he got the refund, he found my name and discovered I work for (irony of irony) The Department of Child and Family Protective Services. We have definitely stopped all contact.
i reallllly tried to stay out of this thread...
but come on he wanted incest role play? and u still decided u guys should meet and fuck him? like really?
not that i am condoning meeting guys off camsites (cuz i NEVER would). But whyyyyy would the one who asked for incest role play be the one u decide to meet?
ManyRoses
11-18-2011, 03:50 PM
Yes- shame shame we used paypal. He wanted to role play incest. We were not okay with that. Once he got the refund, he found my name and discovered I work for (irony of irony) The Department of Child and Family Protective Services. We have definitely stopped all contact.
You used PAYPAL???? :O
Seriously sweetie - sounds like you are just all about the risk taking. Not only does paypal reveal real information to people sometimes, if it ever found out or was told that you are using it for sex-work transactions, it will close your account, hold your funds, and prevent you from ever using it again.
Why, why why??? You are risking your safety, your rep as a professional, your job, your money, your ability to use paypal in future for any reason.....this must have been some guy to make you want to risk all that for a simple fuck. If you have actually been camming for four years, it sounds like you have still got a LOT to learn.
taylor_sweet
11-18-2011, 03:51 PM
WOW ok so i was done but i saw you work for social work with children!!!! since you must have done some college to get ur degree why on earth was u guys not thinking!!!!!! clearly u have to know better since u must be smart!!!
and ur using paypal ok seriously this i believe isnt the correct industry for you!! sorry to be blunt but ur risking to much when this could easily have been avoided. Before being a cam model u need to do research and look at every obsticial that could poss come ur way and obviousy u havent or u would have known better. holy moly sometimes i have a brain fart but damn
MommieLongLegs
11-18-2011, 04:30 PM
OMG what in the world were you thinking!? You may be college-educated, but you're street smarts went totally out the window. The way these guys talk on cam...I wouldn't wanna touch one with a 10-foot pole! And he only paid less than 150 total for prior shows, which gave back? WTH! Never in a million years would I refund someone for hard work I put in.
Not only that, but you were meeting up for FREE SEX? With a cam customer who thinks he owns you.
Also, now he knows where you work which definitely puts you in danger. I really hope you are able to get through this situation with no problems.
CandaceMoon
11-18-2011, 05:02 PM
I am very open minded about fetishes. I know that Bob next door, might be wearing womens panties under his work jeans. I'm ok with that. And I absolutely do not believe that frequenting cam sites makes anyone a freak or demented. The guys who buy cam shows are just regular guys. Maybe they buy shows because they are lonely, or their wife is away, or they have a fetish they feel awkward about. We see all their dirty little secrets that noone else knows about. It's not fair to paint them with such a broad stroke.
I'm also sure that some of these guys are truly sick. Demented, psycho, maniacal...insane, possibly. The problem is that in the limited lens with which we look at them...it's really hard to tell the difference. When my personal safety and the safety of my family is at stake, I would rather err on the side of assuming everyone is crazy..insofar as to say that I wouldn't meet up with them. We can be online friends if we really want to take it that far. But not much beyond that, and for me, I am very strict on that. If I ever wanted to hook up for a 3some or what have you, I'd be in a swingers club, where it's reasonably safe.
ManyRoses
11-18-2011, 06:02 PM
I had one more thought (came to me reading a different thread) - yet ANOTHER issue with meeting custys and not going through a swingers club/site/etc - should this guy decide to be a dick and report you to the police (some guys would do that if they just weren't happy, not if you had done anything wrong) it is your word against his that you are not an escort. Which is (in many places) illegal. And the fact that he HAS given you money, and that you refunded it when cancelling just adds credence to that claim, should he decide to make it.
If you are escorting, you have probably considered this very seriously, and most escort sites and companies have vetting procedures or waivers that state that funds are received for company, and anything that happens above and beyond that is at the discretion of the parties involved - a nice little bit of legal documentation that basically protects the escort for being charged for prostitution or soliciting. I'm guessing you didn't create any such waiver, or do any background checks.
So as well as risking everything else, you may well be risking a criminal record.
To ALL girls - if you want to cam, make sure you are safe. If you want to escort, make sure you are protected (physically AND legally). If you want to swing, make sure you are going through appropriate channels. And for the love of all things - DON'T go mixing these up!!
Sam38g
11-18-2011, 08:08 PM
I have a major problem when an employee of CPS thinks horny men on the web are all nice guys and okay to meet for random sex. This is NOT the advice I would want them to give to children, when there are TONS of predators on the web.
Not to mention, someone who spent alot of money on education & willing to risk it over a one night stand or random sex with a stranger off the web.
Seriously have to question their judgement all the way around. Guess your the gal who takes the guys side on "to catch a predator".
I totally dont get someone risking their job, life, future income, throwing money down the drain with the education who is already married for some DICK. Getting laid by 2 men or having the husband watch you get fucked by a stranger off the web is worth all that. The fact your husband didn't put the breaks on this crazy endeavor shows neither one of you plan ahead or think about the consequences of your actions.
Then to come on here and warn the rest of us about having "Common Sense" is crazy to me.
There are many safe ways to swing, but even then it would get you fired from your job. This is how the world works.... You decided not to play it safe.
I don't get it. I don't get risking so much for dick. The more you post about this story the less I feel bad for you at all.
Sam
Sam38g
11-18-2011, 08:11 PM
By the way if they ever do a back ground check or pull your credit report which many companies do these days. It will show you work for a cam company. Thus putting your current job at risk.
Avamonet
11-18-2011, 08:30 PM
I had one more thought (came to me reading a different thread) - yet ANOTHER issue with meeting custys and not going through a swingers club/site/etc - should this guy decide to be a dick and report you to the police (some guys would do that if they just weren't happy, not if you had done anything wrong) it is your word against his that you are not an escort. Which is (in many places) illegal. And the fact that he HAS given you money, and that you refunded it when cancelling just adds credence to that claim, should he decide to make it.
!
I don't know all the rules of escorting and I could be wrong but i'm pretty sure that the police require more than the word of a "john" before they press criminal charges. I mean if that's the case anybody can say that we're escorts if we ever received money for anything from a customer and it's our word against theirs.
Also in order for him to say that she were an escort, he would have to admit that he was going to pay for an escort's services which would be illegal for him as well. It's kind of like saying "hey I paid this chick for cocaine and she didn't give it to me. Look I have a receipt". He'd have to be dumb as hell to do that.
But I agree with everything else you've said. Bottom line: we have to be careful
Slutdust
11-19-2011, 12:08 AM
i reallllly tried to stay out of this thread...
but come on he wanted incest role play? and u still decided u guys should meet and fuck him? like really?
not that i am condoning meeting guys off camsites (cuz i NEVER would). But whyyyyy would the one who asked for incest role play be the one u decide to meet?
Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm prettyyy sure she meant that once he mentioned he wanted incest role play, she was turned off by that, and that's why they decided to cancel their date.
Slutdust
11-19-2011, 12:35 AM
Dear OP:
Okay, I feel you. You said the site was Cam4, which everyone knows isn't a money-making site, but rather a site meant for voyeurs and exhibitionists. I haven't been through this myself, but I *can* see the appeal/fantasy in meeting some guy online for a hot threesome. It is a very dangerous position to put yourself in, and I do hope in the future you and your husband seek a partner elsewhere-- swinger's clubs, swinger dating sites, etc. ...But even then, you still don't know who's crazy and who's not. The next psycho could be anybody. It's part of the danger we all put ourselves in by choosing to work in this industry, whether it's escorting, dancing, whatever. And STILL, who says that hot boy you meet (off the clock) at the bar is totally sane? Crazy people are everywhere. I'm truly sorry you have to deal with this situation.
I've been dealing with a stalker for the past four years of my life. Very long story short, he met me on MySpace, we had a couple very brief friendly exchanges, but once I stopped responding to him, he went insane. He moved to my state to "marry me" with absolutely NO invitation or encouragement from me at all. I had a restraining order filed against him. For the past three months, he has been violating the RO multiple times a day. He calls my father at his company multiple times a day. He came to my house and slashed my tire. He emailed my father screen shots of my escort ads. He STILL thinks we are going to get married someday. What I'm trying to say is, I've dealt with my fair share of delusion, insanity, and clearly unstableness coming from this person. I can tell you law enforcement isn't going to do a whole lot in your situation. Law enforcement is helping me (although it's been a VERY slow process), and it's ONLY because of the violation of the RO. Otherwise, no one would give a fuck until he shows up to my door to stick a gun in my face.
Ahem. BUT. My advice to you is to try to clear your name as much as you possibly can. Change ALL of your usernames. I know it sucks, but you need to make a new camming persona and start from scratch. Maybe deactivate your facebook profile for a little bit, too. Cancel your email addresses. Change your number. Take self defense classes. Carry mace (at the least). Do NOT give this guy any of your attention. Just accept the mistake/bad decision/whatever, learn from it, and move on. But still-- you could have met this same psycho fuck off AdultFriendFinder, too. People are crazy. I hope you and your husband find a way to safely have a threesome with somebody. (Also, someone mentioned reading the screening posts in the 'other work' section. Screening isn't always 100% effective, but it will definitely help you weed out the psychos as much as you possibly can.)
As for his way of blackmailing you...FUCK him. Play dumb, deny, plan your damage control just incase. Don't let it consume your mind. He could just be bluffin' to get a rise out of you. I wouldn't advise blackmailing him, either. I've learned that can easily fuel the fire and only make this escalate. Hopefully by going under the radar and moving on with your life, this fuckface will forget about you. I wish you the best of luck.
*Edited to say: I wouldn't advise *threatening* to blackmail him. IF he does happen to contact your work, bust you out, and you get fired, then I say HELL YAH-- ruin his marriage. Then jump state.
BustyAmeera
11-19-2011, 04:59 AM
What ukmissy said...
Y'all need to get it together. It does not take 4 pages to dish out "tough love" Some of you just LOVE the drama. It's almost like kicking someone when they are down. Sure, I read the OP's post and thought wtf? But seriously this happens more than not. Yeah this forum is filled with intelligent women who would never dream of meeting a customer, but guess what? This forum also has some women who have done that shit. They just wont admit it to any of you because they know what's coming. A big cyber bashing.
Personally I think it's dumb to meet a customer. I feel most of those guys would not be stable in real life. Some are probably serial killers, child molesters, and the list goes on. Plus being called "bb" turns me off.
I seriously doubt the OP is a troll. She is just a woman who made a bad choice and probably was looking to us for support. Yep she made a stupid choice. I would NEVER refund $150. I would say fuck you and have a nice day asshole. I would NEVER meet these dudes in real life. Please. But I also would not bash someone for it.
Also OP I do not think we hate men just because we would never meet them in real life. I have a bf that I really love, but meeting one of these men? Never. If you're a swinger then that's cool. I am not and don't get that lifestyle but a few of my friends are. I find it odd but that's my opinion. Just be safe and go to a swingers club. At least in a swingers club there is security. Who knows what this guy would have done if he did actually meet you 2? Be safe in all you do. Meeting people you dig on the net can cost you your life.
BustyAmeera
11-19-2011, 05:06 AM
oh em gee slutdust. I hope you are able to somehow get out of this situation. That is scary, and thanks for sharing your story. THAT is what can happen with these guys on the net. Some are simply not stable. They might look good, have degrees, wonderful family, money etc.. But is it safe to meet? Op I hope you read slutdust's story. Just be safe ladies. It is not worth it.