View Full Version : Would you like to be a housewife?
Aslinn
03-01-2012, 02:19 AM
If I go this route I would definitely have other hobbies. Since you are doing this now what made you decide to? I've been thinking this because the guys I am talking with make enough for me not to work, but since I do work (but at home)it's being both).
I got knocked up lol. No but seriously it was too much for me to be pregnant and keep the type of jobs I enjoy. My personal opinion if your "talking" to a guy I wouldn't consider not working. Me and my husband were about a month out of getting married so I felt secure with him on top of that we had also moved to another state with each other so I never questioned my financial safety.
lifetravelergirl
03-01-2012, 03:42 AM
Yes, please ^_^ .
Kellydancer
03-01-2012, 12:39 PM
I got knocked up lol. No but seriously it was too much for me to be pregnant and keep the type of jobs I enjoy. My personal opinion if your "talking" to a guy I wouldn't consider not working. Me and my husband were about a month out of getting married so I felt secure with him on top of that we had also moved to another state with each other so I never questioned my financial safety.
Oh I don't mean I would quit now, just if I had a kid. However, the kinds of guys I am meeting are looking for a wife who stays at home and it intrigues me. Not saying I would even do this, but since I do a job at home anyway it's a possibility. The job I do at home is one that is sometimes done through a company (I do training)but many companies are going to freelance.
a_little_mermaid
03-01-2012, 01:15 PM
I would love to be a housewife again. I was married 3 years and was pretty much a house wife most of the time. I did other things on the side like Ebanned to make extra fun money, but I enjoyed staying home and cooking fancy dinners and making his lunch. Now I have to work because I am the breadwinner in my relationship. My gf would love for me to be able to stay home and for her to work and provide for us, but she is on disability due to several surgeries. So she doesnt get a big enough check to even pay her bills, she is looking for a part time job though. I think I would be better as a housewife because I have other issues that make it hard to work. I am bipolar, have a ton of anxiety, and Add. This makes it very hard to be stable and work.
High-Heel-Lover
03-02-2012, 06:31 AM
I am one and like anything some days are good and some are not. There are periods where I feel useless and if I were to die not much would be missed. It is not the case but that is how I feel. Some days I feel like Wonder Woman and no one can mess with my skills! But the funny thing was my adoptive mom who is a cardiologist, worked all her life and yet raised 5 girls, 4 of who are docs themselves, then there is me, said "I am so proud of you. I always wanted to do what you do. Stay at home, care for the family, see the kids grow up, see their milestones, help them with anything and everything they are faced with, have them come to to me knowing that I am always here for them because they are my number one priority."
It shocked the hell out of me! And while I may feel under appreciated, get tired of picking up the same. damn. things. all the time I feel like I know my kids and husband inside and out. That I wish I had finished college and had a career? Absolutely! Still, I too am proud of what I do.
High-Heel-Lover
03-02-2012, 06:32 AM
BTW I am not saying that if you are not a housewife you aren't all of those things I mentioned, just saying how I view it for myself. :)
Kellydancer
03-02-2012, 12:35 PM
High Heel Lover, I have spoken to many women and you'd be surprised how many career women desire to be housewives. It stunned me. I am seeing childhood friends with degrees and good jobs (one was public relations director of Wisconsin)leave the workforce to stay at home. It is really interesting.
firemaiden04
03-02-2012, 01:30 PM
^^ Every job I've ever had--except stripping--has resulted in me feeling amazingly overworked, unappreciated, underpaid, unfulfilled, and completely taken for granted. I've been forced to tolerate all kinds of abuse from customers, required to pick up shifts and work overtime, denied consecutive days off, and although I'm almost always acknowledged as one of the hardest working and most reliable employees, I've always watched men and older women get promoted over me--even when I was supposedly hired in order to be trained for management. And maybe if these jobs paid six figures a year, I would tolerate the abuse with a little more good humor, but they don't. I don't know if it's because young attractive females aren't taken seriously in an office environment, I don't know if it's due to the fact that many managers I've had spent more time flirting with me than observing my work ethic, or if it's just the economy in general.
Maybe it was different a generation or two ago, when men just EXPECTED women to tend to the house and it never occurred to them that they should be appreciative. Granted, there are a lot of loser couch bums in my generation that have no greater ambition in life than to be a pizza delivery boy and play MW3 all night, and feel absolutely no need to contribute to the house either financially or domestically, and just assume the girlfriend will take care of it--and I usually ended up being that girlfriend, working 40+ hours, paying all the bills, AND cleaning house, doing the laundry, cooking, etc. It's like raising a teenage son, except you fuck him on occasion.
Now, however, being married to a relatively old-fashioned guy who has extremely high standards for himself but never really expected anyone else to appreciate it, being a housewife is 100% fulfilling. The majority of girls in this area who say they "cook" mean that they overcook some spaghetti until it's practically mush, reheat some canned Prego in the microwave and not clean up when it splatters all over the place (if they're REALLY fancy they'll heat it in a saucepan on the stove but burn it to the bottom cause they have it up too hot), then slap it all on a plate and expect to be patted on the head and cooed over for being such a good provider. After experiencing nothing but that from women, my husband is blown away by the most simple from-scratch meals and baking, and it makes me feel good about myself to be so appreciated.
Maybe both genders have low standards now, I don't know. But my husband's best friend (also USAF) was married to this girl who moved with him to Georgia, and she didn't have a job and she didn't tend to the house--she would just trash the place all day doing god knows what, then whine when he came home and ask him to cook something for her, then bitch at him for wanting to play video games. He kicked her ass out after tolerating way too much of her whining and filed for divorce.
IMO, there's got to be a 50/50 split. A true 50/50 split. If one person is bringing in 100% of the income, then the other person needs to do 100% of the housework. If both people are working, they both need to split the housework. And both have to be appreciative of the other. The housewife should be appreciative that the husband is working and making the money, and the husband needs to be appreciative that he comes home to a clean house and a well-cooked hot meal. If you're going to do something, you need to do it right. If the wife is working as well as the husband, the husband has no right to expect that she will also do everything that needs to be done at home just because she has a vagina. THAT is sexist.
I like being a housewife because it's fulfilling and it makes both me and my husband happy. Of course, I'm more of a stripper housewife, which is probably every guy's wet dream :D
Kellydancer
03-02-2012, 01:46 PM
Great post Firemaiden and I completely agree. I know so many "housewives" who are only a housewife in that they stay at home. They don't cook, or clean and there are no kids (or if there are they have a nanny). To me those people (and some are men)are just lazy. Now if by chance I did become a housewife my job would be to do the cooking and cleaning. By cooking I don't mean cooking tv dinners and by cleaning I mean vacuuming once a week and that's all. I have seen the scenarios you've described as well with these guys who expect the gf or wife to work but then do all the cooking and cleaning. If I am working I expect him to do his fair share but so many men don't.
You mention the promotions and yes I still experience that. I wonder if it has to do with being attractive and this idea that I'll find a husband. I've seen so many men promoted ahead of me.
mediocrity
03-02-2012, 02:13 PM
^^ Every job I've ever had--except stripping--has resulted in me feeling amazingly overworked, unappreciated, underpaid, unfulfilled, and completely taken for granted. I've been forced to tolerate all kinds of abuse from customers, required to pick up shifts and work overtime, denied consecutive days off, and although I'm almost always acknowledged as one of the hardest working and most reliable employees, I've always watched men and older women get promoted over me--even when I was supposedly hired in order to be trained for management. And maybe if these jobs paid six figures a year, I would tolerate the abuse with a little more good humor, but they don't. I don't know if it's because young attractive females aren't taken seriously in an office environment, I don't know if it's due to the fact that many managers I've had spent more time flirting with me than observing my work ethic, or if it's just the economy in general.
Maybe it was different a generation or two ago, when men just EXPECTED women to tend to the house and it never occurred to them that they should be appreciative. Granted, there are a lot of loser couch bums in my generation that have no greater ambition in life than to be a pizza delivery boy and play MW3 all night, and feel absolutely no need to contribute to the house either financially or domestically, and just assume the girlfriend will take care of it--and I usually ended up being that girlfriend, working 40+ hours, paying all the bills, AND cleaning house, doing the laundry, cooking, etc. It's like raising a teenage son, except you fuck him on occasion.
Now, however, being married to a relatively old-fashioned guy who has extremely high standards for himself but never really expected anyone else to appreciate it, being a housewife is 100% fulfilling. The majority of girls in this area who say they "cook" mean that they overcook some spaghetti until it's practically mush, reheat some canned Prego in the microwave and not clean up when it splatters all over the place (if they're REALLY fancy they'll heat it in a saucepan on the stove but burn it to the bottom cause they have it up too hot), then slap it all on a plate and expect to be patted on the head and cooed over for being such a good provider. After experiencing nothing but that from women, my husband is blown away by the most simple from-scratch meals and baking, and it makes me feel good about myself to be so appreciated.
Maybe both genders have low standards now, I don't know. But my husband's best friend (also USAF) was married to this girl who moved with him to Georgia, and she didn't have a job and she didn't tend to the house--she would just trash the place all day doing god knows what, then whine when he came home and ask him to cook something for her, then bitch at him for wanting to play video games. He kicked her ass out after tolerating way too much of her whining and filed for divorce.
IMO, there's got to be a 50/50 split. A true 50/50 split. If one person is bringing in 100% of the income, then the other person needs to do 100% of the housework. If both people are working, they both need to split the housework. And both have to be appreciative of the other. The housewife should be appreciative that the husband is working and making the money, and the husband needs to be appreciative that he comes home to a clean house and a well-cooked hot meal. If you're going to do something, you need to do it right. If the wife is working as well as the husband, the husband has no right to expect that she will also do everything that needs to be done at home just because she has a vagina. THAT is sexist.
I like being a housewife because it's fulfilling and it makes both me and my husband happy. Of course, I'm more of a stripper housewife, which is probably every guy's wet dream :D
Exactly. I work like 15 hrs a week, but I still do 100% of the housework because my husband is currently working like 70 hrs a week. I chose to work less and stay home more to to support him, and I actually enjoy it. When we lived in NOLA, he was out of work for 8 months (he sent out like 50 resumes a week, poor thing) and I danced full time, so he did 100% of the housework. It's all about trading off. I take a lot of pride in the meals I make for him, and keeping the house manageable, and he is very appreciative and sweet.
I like being a housewife for the same reasons. <3 It sounds dramatic, but ever since my husband's illness I really re-evaluated what was important to me... and being with him and taking care of the house is what I intend to do as long as it work for us. The Prego and spaghetti mush give stay at home wives a bad name, as do the ones who pass all their time by spending the household money.
Kellydancer
03-02-2012, 03:19 PM
When I switched my field last year I also did a lot of re evaluating my life as well. I don't want to be that work obsessed person I was in the past, from dancing to non dancing. It's funny because I've always been one of those staunchly anti housewife people but in the last year or so I have changed big time on this. Especially on kids, it makes more sense to have the parent making less staying home with the baby. In fact if truth be told this intrigues me. I'm not saying whether I will do any of this at all or whether I will have a kid or the other variations but it does change my mind quite a bit. Now if I didn't have kids would I stay at home? Hard to say. However since my work can be done at home this changes the dynamics a bit.
BabyLove1981
03-02-2012, 08:14 PM
Awww!!! Exactly mediocrity & firemaiden04!! I'm a housewife but I still call myself a WAHM. =) Besides being a housewife and a consistant cammer, I have also made handmade candles & wax tarts which I sell on 3 sites for the past 7 years. Ebay, Etsy & my own website! Its hard with 5 boys but we both work as a team to give us the life we want. And like I said before we are NO millionaires, but we have always worked together and see our jobs equally. And I see any mother that "cams" more than 20hrs a week pretty much qualifies as a WORK AT HOME MOM! =)
kortneykay
03-02-2012, 08:21 PM
I was anti housewife until I met my husband. Now I'm a housewife that works from home on her own too. No kids either thank God!
High-Heel-Lover
03-02-2012, 10:38 PM
KellyD it warmed my heart when she said that cause it's hard going home to "So at the hospital... oh and I had a patient... unbelievable how the hell can you even remember that medical term?!" conversations and me? "I unclogged the tub with vinegar and baking soda." lol
In my home I do 80% cause no way in hell will I do the yard, I will decapitate the grass cause it's a riding mower but that's it. Garbage taking out? Not I but I have a bad back. Also like DH gets a break for him when he comes home, I too deserve a break. Him helping like if the dishwasher is done dude, empty it! Being a SAHM is exhausting. From house work to kids, which they eat.every.other.minute! Plus playing, homework, house work, laundry, shower or baths, the pets and then having the energy to get to the bom chicka wah wah? Oh gah no, just let me sleep.
If I did not have children I would probably have more of a 100% cleaning and all that jazz but as much as I love my husband and know how hard he works I can't just be the "Oh sweet dumplin, you just kick up your feet while I scrub the kitchen floor. Here a cold beer" can't do it, I tried, became bitter and started to recent. I found a happy medium, what works for us. Every couple has their own home life dynamic and if it works for them is awesome!
Kellydancer
03-05-2012, 11:58 AM
I was anti housewife until I met my husband. Now I'm a housewife that works from home on her own too. No kids either thank God!
I've always been very strongly antihousewife. In fact there are several posts here where I get into arguments about this. Now though I love this idea, especially if I have kids. All that money saved on expenses related to work often makes it stupid to work if one person can stay home. Not to mention saving on daycare and formula because if I was a stay at home mom makes far more sense to breastfeed if possible. Now it's a bit different if there are no kids.
mediocrity
03-14-2012, 09:15 PM
I wanted to share this to show it's the little things that make everything worth it. :) I love being a stay at home wife. 29570
sammii
03-14-2012, 09:32 PM
Aw, your hubby is adorable!!
Kellydancer
03-14-2012, 09:59 PM
Men who appreciate stay at home wives are cool. You know I see a lot of younger women who want this, which intrigues me. Here are women who were born after the feminist revolution yet they desire a return to traditional values. I wonder why but I have a theory. My theory is that many young women saw their moms working a fulltime job then coming home to cook and clean while their dad sat around and did nothing. Personally I would never accept a man wanting me to work fulltime then come home and cook and clean while he does nothing. I'd rather be single than allow that. That and the fact that there is so much sexism in the workforce that women get frustrated and quit.
mediocrity
03-14-2012, 11:32 PM
Men who appreciate stay at home wives are cool. You know I see a lot of younger women who want this, which intrigues me. Here are women who were born after the feminist revolution yet they desire a return to traditional values. I wonder why but I have a theory. My theory is that many young women saw their moms working a fulltime job then coming home to cook and clean while their dad sat around and did nothing. Personally I would never accept a man wanting me to work fulltime then come home and cook and clean while he does nothing. I'd rather be single than allow that. That and the fact that there is so much sexism in the workforce that women get frustrated and quit.
For me it's a little different. My dad was amazing. My mother was a fucking dirty ass hateful piece of shit and if I didn't have a restraining order against her I'd call her and tell her to go lay in the road and count mufflers. My dad always spoiled my sister and I, did everything for us, made us feel safe and cared for. It set a high standard and a good example for me. I think part of a man's duty as a man is to make his wife or girlfriend feel safe, loved and cared for. My husband gives his 50%... and it makes me feel very loved, cherished and treasured. I really want for nothing in a material or emotional way. Conversely, what makes HIM feel loved, cherished and treasured is coming home to a sanctuary.. that's my 50%.
My husband also LOVES working. I personally have never wanted to work. I don't enjoy it and never have. That's part of why I danced so long.
sammii
03-15-2012, 12:42 AM
Men who appreciate stay at home wives are cool. You know I see a lot of younger women who want this, which intrigues me. Here are women who were born after the feminist revolution yet they desire a return to traditional values. I wonder why but I have a theory. My theory is that many young women saw their moms working a fulltime job then coming home to cook and clean while their dad sat around and did nothing. Personally I would never accept a man wanting me to work fulltime then come home and cook and clean while he does nothing. I'd rather be single than allow that. That and the fact that there is so much sexism in the workforce that women get frustrated and quit.
I could never be with someone who expects me to work full time + cook/clean. It works for some people, but spending the entire day cooking and cleaning is a job in itself.
I do have to comment on the sexism at work ... at my last job, my managers expected a lot from me. I'm barely 5 feet, and they had me lifting things half my weight. They gave me jobs that most workplaces would have only given to men. Maybe I'm sexist for saying this, but they shouldn't have given me those jobs when there were other men working. I was written up because I couldn't lift as much as a 200 pound guy could. I even had a customer say "why are they giving this job to the smallest girl in the store." Customers would help me because they felt bad. I think men and women should be paid equal and I don't think women should work less hard than men, but I also don't think a woman should be expected to lift 60 pound boxes when there are perfectly able-bodied men around. Anyways, just my experience, and I think it was just the company trying to avoid complaints about sexism.
Kellydancer
03-15-2012, 11:11 AM
I had that issue with a job, though I am taller than you. I worked at UPS and even though I applied for a voicing job (this is a job where you read state abbreviations into a computer)they gave me a job lifting and when I complained they used the excuse because I was one of the tallest women in the training group. NONE of the other women were given the lifting job except me and they required me to lift up to 150 pounds and at that point I was far thinner than 150 pounds. All of my other workers were big guys over 6 feet tall and muscular and they would complain that I couldn't lift as much as them. I eventually fell off a truck and was fired for it, but to this day I have arthritis in my back from the job. If they had hired me for the job I actually applied for none of this would have happened.
The fact is whether we admit it or not women are discriminated against. Even in office jobs I saw white male coworkers get promoted over me even though they had less experience.
CherryonTop
04-07-2012, 02:17 PM
While my previous experience at 'playing housewife' went askew and got quite unpleasant (I was studying fulltime but because I wasn't 'working' I was expected to do the majority of the cleaning/cooking etc - even though we were out of the house the same amount of hours and I swear I fit more into my 'working' day than he did!) I would love to be a housewife - the man I'm with now, while he has his faults, has much respect for women and the lines of communication are open enough for it to work out without me ending up 'house slave'. We've had times when I've been working and he hasn't, and I've made it clear in those times that he needs to pull his weight in other ways, and I would do the same were the tables reversed. I would want to be in charge of the budget though - I'm canny with money (in part thanks to stripping) so he would have to be willing to trust me in that. I'm also a really good cook (when I have someone to cook for!) and thus would most likely claim the kitchen as my territory (I find the process therapeutic and feeding people I love fulfilling) but he's far more thorough with cleaning than I am - I guess I'm lucky because it just fits with us.
I'm good at entertaining myself, am a bit of a homebody naturally and relish having a house to myself for a few hours on a regular basis. I'm ADD, and so constantly find new projects to start/subjects to study, so perhaps I'm a better candidate for 'housewife/mistress' than I ever suspected growing up!
On a slightly off topic note - I think things like Facebook, photobucket and even simple texting have changed the social context of housewife/motherhood-dom - the ability to keep in touch, in the loop and engaged with your friends/family means it's no longer as isolating as it may have once been (my Mother's experience always highlighted a fear of being 'cut off' in me). Of course, this can also result in more pressure to keep up with the Joneses etc but I think the positives outweigh the negatives here.. But I digress. Carry on :D
Kellydancer
04-19-2012, 07:58 PM
Women are still minorities in any office job above secretary level. To get into a higher level position outside of something really salesy or a secretary job you have to be matronly and white. The corporate world is controlled by men, and they only see two types of women
1. Possible sex-partners who they probably don't respect (yet)
2. Matronly mother types who will do the work for them, and white since momma is white
I hated my office job, every secretary was a very attractive, slim young white woman (except me, tanned latina). All managers were white men, very few women in a roll of actual responsibility and possible self-direction were at least 40 unfeminine matrons.
This is part of why I want my own business and I will hire women like me. We already live in a mans world, I don't want to have to work twice as hard as Joe who is my age just to get the same amount of respect or chop my hair off and dress androgynous.
I would be a housewife if my husband was making enough $ for me to still shop and for us to live in a nice area. It would be the perfect opportunity to start my own small biz, and grow it when I'm ready.
Sadly this is exactly what I've seen in most professional jobs I've had. In almost all of them the few women at the top are unattractive and usually not mothers. The majority was definitely white males. This is why I've started working for myself because my job is something that can done at home. Isn't it shameful that women with education still make less than men with less experience and less education? This is why I have seen s many friends drop out of the corporate world and go into another field.
Kellydancer
04-19-2012, 08:02 PM
I think I would enjoy being a housewife, the stage im at in my life I would prefer it. Right now everything is 50/50 within rent/working and cleaning/cooking with my boyfriend and I. Within about 6-8 months when his condo is done being built, we'll be moving there and I will be in full-time school that we agreed I go to school but do the cleaning/cooking part while he pays all the bills. I hate the stress of paying rent and not oweing the place. At the same time Im disliking stripping that I rather work a real job or go to school. Real job, as in not some min wage job but a job that will use my degree which Im sure Ill have no problem with due to the field. Then Ill be happy doing both either staying at home or working on my career. But if I have kids, I deff want to be a stay at home mom, without them Id prefer working.
You mentioned about staying at home with the kids and like I mentioned I have been meeting many guys who want their wives to stay at home if there are kids. I was stunned to see there are still so many guys who want this. I don't have kids but several years ago when I met guys like these I blew them off. Now though I give it consideration. Rarely do I meet guys who want their wife to stay at home forever if there are no kids unless he makes good money and likes having a clean house and a cooked meal.
MissSeraphim
05-07-2012, 06:26 PM
Well, this is my scenario..
I'm a stay at home single mommy. I'm finishing high school this month. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm house mommy to not only my two children but also clean up duty to 2 adults and a teenager with a practically live in boyfriend, I would adore it. I do camming right now and get child support. But I need more income to get out of this crazy house and still give my kids a good life.
Honestly though I am scared shitless to go into any kind of work like department store or food, or really anything public. I have crazy social anxiety that is heightened when I have something I have to do (such as a job lol) I've only ever had one "real job" and it was doing dishes in a corner by myself. I handled that okay but I also want to ENJOY what I do. I also don't look like anyone people would hire for a "respectable" position. Piercings, dyed hair, etc.. The hair I could change but people in this small place, people know me. I also want to be here with my kids as much as possible. Make my own schedule.
So, my plan is to turn my hobbies or at very least things I enjoy, into a job. I've already made some things I've sold with beading, sewing, etc. But that's crazy amounts of labor to do on my own and do well with. So that is a side project. I've just recently signed up to do toy parties! While it's an out of the house job it's still one I will be running on my own accord. With the toy parties I'll also be selling jewelry. I figure that's a new angle, toy & jewelry and possibly lingerie parties. An all girl experience.
I'll still do camming. But the bonus..everything will be completely written off on my taxes.