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Frenchie
03-12-2012, 06:07 PM
She's laughing at their self-delusion.

As we've discussed in another thread, men who are, well, lower on the looks scale consistently chase after much better-looking women. Women who are way, way out of their league. There are well-documented natural-selection reasons for this behavior, but it doesn't make it any less annoying for women like Kelly who have 1) stated outright to the men that she is not interested in them and, 2) the men continue to annoy her for attention, anyway.

What drives this is self-delusion -- the belief men have that they are better looking than they actually are.

Women have the reverse problem, and consistently underestimate how attractive they are. (Women are much harder on each other, of course, and this is likely one of many possible reasons for this).

The only time this basic calculus is upended is when the equation changes due to things like money (a lot), celebrity (of the right kind) and chemistry (intangible).


My point was that she has not found what she wants any more than those she ridicules. Looks also work differently by gender. It's all most men want but one of several things women want. As you noted, men can attract women with many things.

I know many beautiful women who don't really care about looks, especially after one or two bad relationships with "hot" guys.

Why are we so fixated on "leagues" anyway? LOVE is a feeling, not a resume contest.

Kellydancer
03-13-2012, 01:18 PM
Actually I am finding what I want. I just don't mention it here. But no an older man can't usually attract a younger women which is why I laugh. And nope women still want guys they are attracted to as well unless they are looking for a guy with money then yes an older man is preferable in many cases. I don't know any women who will want an ugly guy if they aren't ugly unless he's rich. Sure guys want a pretty girl but if they are fat, ugly and poor they have to take what they can. Since I am neither fat ugly or poor I am more of a choice as well.

I'm not sure why you keep bringing me up but I am wondering if you are one of my exboyfriends who can't let go of me.

Vyanka
03-23-2012, 07:12 PM
Seriously, never fails. LA men always irritate the hell out of me. Most of them are CHEAP, RUDE AS FUCK, & ARROGANT AND HELL!!

I met a customer, I want to say he was in his mid to late 40's. He told me I looked good for my age(i'm 30), & that I was a tad old for his preferance but would make an acception for me bc I look younger. I looked at him like he had 3 eyes on his face. SERIOUSLY, A TAD OLD???!! WTF??!! LOL, is he out of his mind??

And of course I still look fkn good, 30 is not old. Arrogant fuck. LOL. Delusional bastid, go back to LA.

Eta- this was more of a PL rant, just reminded me of this thread.

ArmySGT.
03-23-2012, 09:05 PM
I met a customer, I want to say he was in his mid to late 40's. He told me I looked good for my age(i'm 30), & that I was a tad old for his preferance but would make an acception for me bc I look younger. I looked at him like he had 3 eyes on his face. SERIOUSLY, A TAD OLD???!! WTF??!! LOL, is he out of his mind??

Yet, he still draws breath? I don't understand.

Kellydancer
03-23-2012, 10:48 PM
Seriously, never fails. LA men always irritate the hell out of me. Most of them are CHEAP, RUDE AS FUCK, & ARROGANT AND HELL!!

I met a customer, I want to say he was in his mid to late 40's. He told me I looked good for my age(i'm 30), & that I was a tad old for his preferance but would make an acception for me bc I look younger. I looked at him like he had 3 eyes on his face. SERIOUSLY, A TAD OLD???!! WTF??!! LOL, is he out of his mind??

And of course I still look fkn good, 30 is not old. Arrogant fuck. LOL. Delusional bastid, go back to LA.

Eta- this was more of a PL rant, just reminded me of this thread.

30 is old, I mean aren't you collecting social security by now? Seriously though I hate that. It's funny this was bumped because I was talking about this on a dating site and this 68 year old man was telling me how all these 20somethings wanted to date him and that at my elderly age of 41 I am too old for him. I told the guy he was delusional and got several pms from other telling me he thinks he's all that because he's in shape. 68 is older than my dad why would I want to date a guy that old? Want to see delusional? go to most of the dating sites and the amount of 40something men asking for 18-25 is ridiculous. Sometimes I see up to age 35 or so but really if a guy is say 45 he should be dating older than 35.

Vyanka
03-23-2012, 10:57 PM
Kelly. It's fkn ridiculous. Omg!! Are these ppl for real???

Anyone who is a delusional age'ist like that, isn't looking to be in a serious relationship.

ArmySGT.
03-23-2012, 11:06 PM
<----------------- 40 Years old.

Edited* (Damn you Vodka)

It's all good, right? :)

Kellydancer
03-24-2012, 10:41 AM
Kelly. It's fkn ridiculous. Omg!! Are these ppl for real???

Anyone who is a delusional age'ist like that, isn't looking to be in a serious relationship.

I know I don't get it either. On this one site I was talking about there are all these attractive 40 and even older women (and some could be strippers and models that's how pretty they are)talk about how all these men bypass them because of age. Then the men post and say because their life experience is different (many don't have kids but most of the women do)they "deserve" younger women. Many use the excuse that they want kids so they need to date younger. Sorry, but if a man is mid 50's or older and if he bypasses women his age because of this he's a moron. Not to mention then he's too old to have kids too and if he desired kids that much he should have looked years ago.

Online dating really blows because of this issue. I am meeting some men around my age but the amount of much older men who contact me is outrageous. I want a man say within 10 years either way, not a man old enough to be my dad. I've been reading many online stories and this is a problem on many dating sites, yet men are a majority of people on them. Hmm, maybe if they dated their own age they'd find someone.

charlie61
03-25-2012, 07:46 AM
I have no attraction to men under 35. It's mostly a maturity thing...and a "who has their shit together?" thing. I'm very independent, and I have high expectations both for myself and those I date. I've been with my SO for 4.5 years, and he's 18 years older than I am. I can't imagine being with anyone else!

I also think my attraction to older men comes from the fact that when I was younger, I was rejected by my peers on an epic scale. I developed a very intense dislike for people my age...

That said, I do fear being a young widow. If I stay with my SO (you never know what could happen, but I consider him to be the love of my life), then by definition he will die way before I do. It's very scary to me. But it's not like I can fall out of love with him just because of something I know I'll have to face in the far future.

He also already has two children with his ex-wife, and I think I want a child eventually (this is another obstacle I'll face with him in the future). But again, this didn't stop me from falling in love with him, and it'd be ridiculous to ignore your feelings for someone based on such things. Perfection doesn't exist, and imperfections come in many beautiful forms that you can't necessarily predict. If you think you're flawless just because you don't have external baggage (like children), then you are sadly mistaken.

I must say, Charlie...I agree with you. :D

But seriously...you can't live in fear. Would you ever decide to not get a dog simply because the dog will die someday and leave you behind? Would you ever decide to not go on vacation simply to avoid the disappointment of having to return to your normal life? No! The death of a loved one is on a larger scale, but it's the same concept.

ArmySGT.
03-25-2012, 12:02 PM
For myself, I am more opposed to dating someone younger than myself by ten years. There (for me atleast) needs to be somethings in common, and pop culture specifically the time you grew up is are important. Commonalities are ties than hold you together.

charlie61
03-25-2012, 02:32 PM
^It definitely helps that I don't identify with my age group at all. And he and I embrace our differences. He's the type B to my type A, and even though we shouldn't work well together (if you were to t-chart our personalitites), it's incredible how perfect we are for each other.

The_Adict
03-25-2012, 04:56 PM
Totally would date an older women. I've never dated anyone 5+ years older than me (I'm 26) but would at least once. Something about women around their 40s in good shape is really hot.

All Good Things
03-25-2012, 05:07 PM
^It definitely helps that I don't identify with my age group at all. And he and I embrace our differences. He's the type B to my type A, and even though we shouldn't work well together (if you were to t-chart our personalitites), it's incredible how perfect we are for each other.

This makes a lot of sense to me. My girlfriend is 24 and our tastes in culture -- music, film, theatre and art -- overlap identically. She's a concert violinist, ballet dancer and honors English graduate and has a devotion to hip hop and R&B. She grew up in a decade when I'd already published (at a young age) my first books, but our iPod playlists are almost interchangeable.

We still get some nasty glares now and again from middle-aged women on the East Coast (not the hot ones, the frumpy ones, it seems), but in Cali it's all smiles from everybody, all the time. The difference is almost comical -- every time somebody stares at her in an especially hostile way, I say to her, "time to go to California."

charlie61
03-25-2012, 05:09 PM
This makes a lot of sense to me. My girlfriend is 24 and our tastes in culture -- music, film, theatre and art -- overlap identically. She's a concert violinist, ballet dancer and honors English graduate and has a devotion to hip hop and R&B. She grew up in a decade where I'd already published (at a young age) my first books, but our iPod playlists are almost interchangeable.


Sounds similar to my situation! :)

Liara Fire
03-29-2012, 08:04 AM
I don't think age is that big a deal if you have things in common.

Kellydancer
03-29-2012, 10:54 AM
This makes a lot of sense to me. My girlfriend is 24 and our tastes in culture -- music, film, theatre and art -- overlap identically. She's a concert violinist, ballet dancer and honors English graduate and has a devotion to hip hop and R&B. She grew up in a decade when I'd already published (at a young age) my first books, but our iPod playlists are almost interchangeable.

We still get some nasty glares now and again from middle-aged women on the East Coast (not the hot ones, the frumpy ones, it seems), but in Cali it's all smiles from everybody, all the time. The difference is almost comical -- every time somebody stares at her in an especially hostile way, I say to her, "time to go to California."

Though from what I've heard about you is that you can date much younger if you choose. Most older guys think they can but can not.

I noticed you mentioned the frumpy ones and these women are always the ones with problems datingwise. I've had frumpy women even call me names.

Frenchie
04-06-2012, 07:06 PM
Though from what I've heard about you is that you can date much younger if you choose. Most older guys think they can but can not.

I noticed you mentioned the frumpy ones and these women are always the ones with problems datingwise. I've had frumpy women even call me names.


I see a clear mixed message here: men who want trophies are shallow, there's more to you than looks, and you're attractive, so you can afford to be picky among men who are not supposed to care about looks?

An older man who suddenly comes into money will find his ability to date younger women improve a great deal.

Why do you seem so preoccupied with who *others* are dating?

princessjas
04-06-2012, 07:37 PM
The only point that comes to mind when people start throwing numbers & perspective is? How well do you take care? I've seen people in there 20's that can't run & I've seen people in there 50's that run marathons. Lifestyle & Genetics play a huge part in this discussion if age & limitation is...

ThIS!! Everthing is relative! Ive been with younger men and older men, both have complimented me on an unbelievable level. 5 years my Junior to 18 years my senior neither mattered. It was all about how we interacted instead of age difference. I would rather live in 10-20 years of bliss than miss it all and I assume my partners feel the same. :)

ETA - Wow my biological age was 14!!!! And I am 36!! Thats got to be a mistake!

Kellydancer
04-06-2012, 08:33 PM
I see a clear mixed message here: men who want trophies are shallow, there's more to you than looks, and you're attractive, so you can afford to be picky among men who are not supposed to care about looks?

An older man who suddenly comes into money will find his ability to date younger women improve a great deal.

Why do you seem so preoccupied with who *others* are dating?

I know you're trolling since you seem very obsessed with me but let me be clear here: as an attractive woman, I am the pick of the litter even though I am older. I have every right to choose what I want. However, if I was ugly I would not have as many choices. The men on the dating sites who want younger are not the pick of the litter. Quite a few are fat slobs and many have low paying jobs. Sure they can try to get hot women but hot women, let alone hot younger women will not be interested. Rich men no matter what they look like can get pretty much any woman they want. This is why Donald Trump and Hugh Hefner can date who they want. Not sure how this makes no sense to you except that it's obvious by your comments that you are a fat slob older MAN who thinks he can date younger but when you strike out you complain and blame older women for your faults.

I don't care who men date but am tired of old men approaching me to date when they are old and repulsive. I am tired of men thinking they can date anyone they want when they can't. I have explained this many times so I have come to the conclusion that you are also on the dumb side, which is likely why women aren't interested in you.

Frenchie
04-06-2012, 09:49 PM
I know you're trolling since you seem very obsessed with me but let me be clear here: as an attractive woman, I am the pick of the litter even though I am older. I have every right to choose what I want. However, if I was ugly I would not have as many choices. The men on the dating sites who want younger are not the pick of the litter. Quite a few are fat slobs and many have low paying jobs. Sure they can try to get hot women but hot women, let alone hot younger women will not be interested. Rich men no matter what they look like can get pretty much any woman they want. This is why Donald Trump and Hugh Hefner can date who they want. Not sure how this makes no sense to you except that it's obvious by your comments that you are a fat slob older MAN who thinks he can date younger but when you strike out you complain and blame older women for your faults.

I don't care who men date but am tired of old men approaching me to date when they are old and repulsive. I am tired of men thinking they can date anyone they want when they can't. I have explained this many times so I have come to the conclusion that you are also on the dumb side, which is likely why women aren't interested in you.

I don't have to be male to not appreciate what you are writing, since attitudes like yours affect the men who ask *me* out, or who shy away from doing so because they run into someone like you. Maybe you were a product of the Immaculate Conception, but I have a father, along with two brothers, a few uncles, cousins, etc.

I may be on the dumb side, but that's better than the *rude* side. Perhaps I'm not as obsessed with you as you claim since I didn't see you explain this before.

Since I am so dumb, maybe you can explain this logic to me as if I were a gradeschooler:

1. You claim to want a man who sees beyond your looks, yet claim that it is these looks which makes you stand out among other women. According to your implied logic, your looks wouldn't matter much to the men you claim matter to you. How is it rude to point this out?

2. How can a man know how you'll react until he approaches you? We tell men all the time to follow their heart, usually not so the next time one does, he gets it sliced to bits. After that he starts tinking women are bitches.

3. If you judge men on their income or wealth, how does this not make you a golddigger?

4. Can a man'w income or wealth change? Why is a low-income man inferior unless you want money from him? He never asked you for a cent before he met you.

5. Can fat men lose weight?

6. Can women make themselves younger?

The rich guys I know don't usually line up to date 40+ ex-dancers who've done pornos, but there might be exceptions. If I were like you and attempted to extrapolate from your posts, I'd say your judgmental nature and insulting tone might go a long way towards explaining why "pick of the litter" men haven't yet seen just what a wonderful wife and mother you would be! It's possible you come off as a resume-hunting control freak.

Just sayin'.....

Kellydancer
04-06-2012, 10:28 PM
I don't have to be male to not appreciate what you are writing, since attitudes like yours affect the men who ask *me* out, or who shy away from doing so because they run into someone like you. Maybe you were a product of the Immaculate Conception, but I have a father, along with two brothers, a few uncles, cousins, etc.

I may be on the dumb side, but that's better than the *rude* side. Perhaps I'm not as obsessed with you as you claim since I didn't see you explain this before.

Since I am so dumb, maybe you can explain this logic to me as if I were a gradeschooler:

1. You claim to want a man who sees beyond your looks, yet claim that it is these looks which makes you stand out among other women. According to your implied logic, your looks wouldn't matter much to the men you claim matter to you. How is it rude to point this out?

2. How can a man know how you'll react until he approaches you? We tell men all the time to follow their heart, usually not so the next time one does, he gets it sliced to bits. After that he starts tinking women are bitches.

3. If you judge men on their income or wealth, how does this not make you a golddigger?

4. Can a man'w income or wealth change? Why is a low-income man inferior unless you want money from him? He never asked you for a cent before he met you.

5. Can fat men lose weight?

6. Can women make themselves younger?

The rich guys I know don't usually line up to date 40+ ex-dancers who've done pornos, but there might be exceptions. If I were like you and attempted to extrapolate from your posts, I'd say your judgmental nature and insulting tone might go a long way towards explaining why "pick of the litter" men haven't yet seen just what a wonderful wife and mother you would be! It's possible you come off as a resume-hunting control freak.

Just sayin'.....

I still say you're a man. I too have a brother and a father and they are quite respectful of women. My dad has been happily married to my mom (who is one year younger)and my brother is married to his wife who is 6 days younger. They both think older men stalking younger women is disgusting. If these men are so bitter because of being rejected, well, duh they need to stop asking out women they know they have little chance of dating. I couldn't care less who you date or who dates you, I don't want these old men asking me out. It has nothing to do with money, I am not interested in men old enough to be my father.

You seem to know quite a bit about me, which tells me you are likely someone under another name. Why you brought up the fact I did one porno when I was 25 just seems like you are jealous. Many women here have done far more than one amateur but whatever.That just makes you pathetic but hey whatever turns you on. But yes men who try to date much younger women and they are nothing themselves are delusional. I will continue to treat them as the trash they are and the women who date them for money as the whores they are. For some odd reason you seem to think I judge men on money. Not at all, but the fact is only older men with either money or looks will get much younger. Keep being delusional that poor fat men will get younger women. I'll keep laughing at these losers. And by the way I couldn't care less about money just stating a fact.

And btw I get hit on quite often by younger men so yes I have the pick of the litter. But I will continue to trash the fat and ugly men who try to ask me out knowing they were much older than me. And just so we are clear I am done answering your pathetic attempts at trolling. Instead you will go on ignore. It is so obvious you are a bitter man pretending to be a stripper and it's sad.


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princessjas
04-07-2012, 05:52 AM
No need to be nasty. Why cant we just accept that things are different for different people. Yes there are douchebags around, but yanno if you met those same men and they were your age, they would still be asses. I dont envy their young wives one iota. I pity them. They are going to live a life of misery, not me.

I DO think it is unfair to group all age difference couples together. Ive had incredible connections with older men.....and a few younger ones. lol BUT I dont start out with a chip on my shoulder, which men seem to have a second sense for.

I like you Kelly, but I really think if you got over your resentment your dating life would be an entirely different field. I am close to your age and get asked out by 18-25 year olds so much it is annoying, and these are mostly just the serious relationship men, not the all too obvious, just after a piece of ass ones. Maybe online dating is not the way to go and hanging around local spots like bookstores and coffee shops is (just suggesting it because that is where I get asked out the most).

BTW - My last 2 hotties were both younger than me, and while things didnt work out, that was mostly MY fault not theirs. They are both great catches and amazing men. :)

socialreject
04-07-2012, 09:14 AM
Let me see if I can reason this through. It all has to do with wanting a guarantee of procreation. I'll try and explain (and I might be treading in very flame-inducing waters here). Males, for the most part, remain fertile after puberty for pretty much all their lives. That means an 80 year old man can still impregnate a female. However females, OTOH, are entirely different. They are born with a set amount of eggs and do not produce any more no matter how old they get. The eggs start to die off around mid-thirties to forties, until (I think) menopause. There are exceptional cases of women in their fifties (and even 1 at age 60 if I recall) who are able to conceive, but that is the exception.
So, following this logic, males have an instinctive urge to desire young females full of fresh eggs. I hate to put it this way (I really do) but it's the only thing I can think of that would even remotely justify such behavior. For the record, I don't have a problem with age difference. Age, by and large, is just a number. What matters is attitude and personal moral compass. If two people, whether opposite sex or same sex, hit it off like Romeo and Juliet, who are we to judge them if they happen to be 25 years apart in age?

Kellydancer
04-07-2012, 10:48 AM
No need to be nasty. Why cant we just accept that things are different for different people. Yes there are douchebags around, but yanno if you met those same men and they were your age, they would still be asses. I dont envy their young wives one iota. I pity them. They are going to live a life of misery, not me.

I DO think it is unfair to group all age difference couples together. Ive had incredible connections with older men.....and a few younger ones. lol BUT I dont start out with a chip on my shoulder, which men seem to have a second sense for.

I like you Kelly, but I really think if you got over your resentment your dating life would be an entirely different field. I am close to your age and get asked out by 18-25 year olds so much it is annoying, and these are mostly just the serious relationship men, not the all too obvious, just after a piece of ass ones. Maybe online dating is not the way to go and hanging around local spots like bookstores and coffee shops is (just suggesting it because that is where I get asked out the most).

BTW - My last 2 hotties were both younger than me, and while things didnt work out, that was mostly MY fault not theirs. They are both great catches and amazing men. :)

My issue is with that person who is very condenscending. She is going around to other posters saying some pretty nasty things which is why I am nasty in response.

I have no issue with older men dating younger women, my issue are the much older repulsive men going after me. Also, I think it says a lot when a man seeks out much younger women as compared to just happening to meet younger women. I have a lot better luck with men outside dating sites and have been asked out by younger men in person. My main problem with younger men is so many of them are still looking to fool around at their age, which I understand. I know though I should be happy when guys reject me for being too old because this means better guys are out there (and I am meeting many decent men from the sites). I've had my best relationships actually from outside sources like through friends, meeting at stores, etc and that's where I concentrate on meeting men.

Kellydancer
04-07-2012, 10:57 AM
Let me see if I can reason this through. It all has to do with wanting a guarantee of procreation. I'll try and explain (and I might be treading in very flame-inducing waters here). Males, for the most part, remain fertile after puberty for pretty much all their lives. That means an 80 year old man can still impregnate a female. However females, OTOH, are entirely different. They are born with a set amount of eggs and do not produce any more no matter how old they get. The eggs start to die off around mid-thirties to forties, until (I think) menopause. There are exceptional cases of women in their fifties (and even 1 at age 60 if I recall) who are able to conceive, but that is the exception.
So, following this logic, males have an instinctive urge to desire young females full of fresh eggs. I hate to put it this way (I really do) but it's the only thing I can think of that would even remotely justify such behavior. For the record, I don't have a problem with age difference. Age, by and large, is just a number. What matters is attitude and personal moral compass. If two people, whether opposite sex or same sex, hit it off like Romeo and Juliet, who are we to judge them if they happen to be 25 years apart in age?

True by nature men can reproduce the rest of their age, but after 40 or so the sperm, just like the eggs becomes higher risk. I have read studies where a woman having a baby with an older man has a higher risk of autism just going by the age of the sperm alone. Also, sperm production does slow down once a guy ages and later can even be almost sterile. Yet many men think they can still have babies and wait until their 50's or older. Sure, men like younger women, but we all have preferences, doesn't mean we will get them. An older man who is attractive and successful has a better chance of this than a man who has nothing to offer, yet for some unexplained reason the men with nothing to offer thinks they too can get younger women like the other man and that just isn't true. Yet if you go to all these dating sites you will see these men requesting younger women. They aren't likely to get them and then they complain they are single years from now.

mediocrity
04-07-2012, 05:03 PM
I love how we have so many armchair anthropologists here.

sananeko
04-07-2012, 06:25 PM
I need to have someone recap this for me.. i'm having trouble reading some of the posts....

socialreject
04-07-2012, 08:59 PM
I love how we have so many armchair anthropologists here.

Living up to your Forum name I see...

Oh wait...:)

Kellydancer
04-07-2012, 09:11 PM
Oh I'm no armchair anthropologist, I'm just tired of men using the excuse that they want younger women because of fertility. First off not everyone wants kids (and there are people in this thread alone who do not want kids)so that is an excuse men use. For those who want kids, it's as much their fault as it is the woman's for waiting to find someone. I think it boils down to this unexplained delusion some men have. I remember reading that men overrate themselves online and women underrate.

mediocrity
04-07-2012, 11:50 PM
Living up to your Forum name I see...

Oh wait...:)


..Did you really think using a handle I chose myself against me would work as an insult? Besides, it was an observation- not directed at anyone in particular.

Trem
04-08-2012, 07:25 AM
Oh I'm no armchair anthropologist, I'm just tired of men using the excuse that they want younger women because of fertility. First off not everyone wants kids (and there are people in this thread alone who do not want kids)so that is an excuse men use. For those who want kids, it's as much their fault as it is the woman's for waiting to find someone. I think it boils down to this unexplained delusion some men have. I remember reading that men overrate themselves online and women underrate.

Men want younger women because they are hotter. Men think younger women are hotter because our brain interprets fertility as beauty. There is a big difference between the two. You seem really bitter about this for some reason, what do you care what men want? Believe it or not women are not as interested in physical looks as men, it is very common to see younger women with older established men.

Kellydancer
04-08-2012, 11:16 AM
Men want younger women because they are hotter. Men think younger women are hotter because our brain interprets fertility as beauty. There is a big difference between the two. You seem really bitter about this for some reason, what do you care what men want? Believe it or not women are not as interested in physical looks as men, it is very common to see younger women with older established men.

No you seem bitter yourself and I'm not bitter when I see men wanting younger. I am mostly annoyed when men think they can get better when they can't. Just because a man THINKS he can get younger doesn't mean he can. I know as a woman who looks much younger than my age I think it is repulsive when disgusting older men hit on me, thinking they are too good for the women their age.

Oh and don't kid yourself and think women don't judge by looks. We do and the hotter the woman is the more likely this is. I find men who are obese, and sloppy (whether fat or not)repulsive. But keep thinking men can be as disgusting as they want and can get the hottest women as they do on the online sites and I'll keep laughing when they are single years later complaining about women. Btw the reason you see younger women with wealthier older men (and notice it is never average income or below average income men)is because they want things from them. How do I know? because in my 20's I dated a few older men because they could spend money on me in ways the younger men couldn't. I never loved any of them. That's why you see for the most part younger women with older men, because they can spoil them. Oh sure in SOME cases that isn't true, but that could be said in other instances too. However with women often making what men do now you are seeing older women with younger men because guess what? younger men are way hotter than older men.

LaurenAus
04-08-2012, 12:25 PM
My mom's friend is in her 60's and recently met a good quality man during an organized hiking trip. He's very fit and has a stable career and after dating for a few months they're set to be engaged. Her daughters are in their late 20's and 30's and still single.
The lady who is in her 60's has an ex husband who I'm assuming used his status as an MD to pull some younger women. Two of them were women from overseas who used him to get citizenship and ended up leaving his ass. The other used him for awhile..ended up leaving his ass as well. His money wasn't enough to keep these younger women around that's for sure. There's plenty of gold diggers where I live and I have met a couple who were out with their saggy balled men and the women have hinted that they have sidepieces which I think is kind of hilarious. I do believe that women DO care about a man's appearance more than guys would like to think.

Those are all personal experiences though and my point is, I really think you'd have better luck meeting healthy minded individuals while out and about during organized social functions. Meetup.com groups host single events for individuals who are forty and up. If I'm forty and single..I'll probably be out doing that myself (:

Kellydancer
04-08-2012, 12:51 PM
My mom's friend is in her 60's and recently met a good quality man during an organized hiking trip. He's very fit and has a stable career and after dating for a few months they're set to be engaged. Her daughters are in their late 20's and 30's and still single.
The lady who is in her 60's has an ex husband who I'm assuming used his status as an MD to pull some younger women. Two of them were women from overseas who used him to get citizenship and ended up leaving his ass. The other used him for awhile..ended up leaving his ass as well. His money wasn't enough to keep these younger women around that's for sure. There's plenty of gold diggers where I live and I have met a couple who were out with their saggy balled men and the women have hinted that they have sidepieces which I think is kind of hilarious. I do believe that women DO care about a man's appearance more than guys would like to think.

Those are all personal experiences though and my point is, I really think you'd have better luck meeting healthy minded individuals while out and about during organized social functions. Meetup.com groups host single events for individuals who are forty and up. If I'm forty and single..I'll probably be out doing that myself (:

I meet much better men at various social events and out and about. The online sites do not work for me because they seem to attract bottom of the barrel men. What is odd is that these sites have attractive women who are are single and complaining the men their age bypasses them. My only problem though with attending some of these events is I will meet a guy then find out he has kids and that's a dealbreaker. At least with online they usually say if they have kids or not (this is my strict dealbreaker).

I actually don't have a problem meeting men out and about, my main annoyance is the older men who approach me in public places and online. I tell them no but they persist. They seem to think that all women want older men, especially older ugly men and they think I am playing games with them.

Vyanka
04-08-2012, 10:07 PM
Men want younger women because they are hotter. Men think younger women are hotter because our brain interprets fertility as beauty. There is a big difference between the two. You seem really bitter about this for some reason, what do you care what men want? Believe it or not women are not as interested in physical looks as men, it is very common to see younger women with older established men.

Not really. Different ppl want/like different things. There are girls like me who need visual stimulation, just like men. I need to be physically attracted to someone in order for me to sleep with him. That's number one. I wish I was one of those girls who didn't give a shit about looks, but I just can't.

Then there are men who really don't care about dating women their age or a little older, & aren't into dating someone their child's age(not knocking it, just saying).



BOTM, thanks. :) That guy didn't get a rise out of me. Nothing idiot customers say gets to me anyway. I was just really shocked that someone pushing 50(or is 50?) would tell me 30 is a "tad old" for his preference. Fkn crazy. LOL.

The_Adict
04-08-2012, 10:19 PM
Men want younger women because they are hotter. Men think younger women are hotter because our brain interprets fertility as beauty. There is a big difference between the two. You seem really bitter about this for some reason, what do you care what men want? Believe it or not women are not as interested in physical looks as men, it is very common to see younger women with older established men.

I'm doing something wrong here cause I love older women. Hell, I would likely kill to sex Kate Beckinsale.

Kellydancer
04-08-2012, 10:31 PM
Not really. Different ppl want/like different things. There are girls like me who need visual stimulation, just like men. I need to be physically attracted to someone in order for me to sleep with him. That's number one. I wish I was one of those girls who didn't give a shit about looks, but I just can't.

Then there are men who really don't care about dating women their age or a little older, & aren't into dating someone their child's age(not knocking it, just saying).



BOTM, thanks. :) That guy didn't get a rise out of me. Nothing idiot customers say gets to me anyway. I was just really shocked that someone pushing 50(or is 50?) would tell me 30 is a "tad old" for his preference. Fkn crazy. LOL.

Agreed. I was called bitter but am tired of dealing with these much older men who think I would be flattered they were interested. I mean we are not talking hot and or rich guys here, but rather unappealing men. This idea that older women aren't hot anymore is rather disturbing, especially coming from men who are nothing. I too judge men on looks and if he's not someone I feel attracted to I can't date. The funny thing is at events I get hit on by younger men so I can't be that repulsive.

Vyanka
04-08-2012, 10:55 PM
Agreed. I was called bitter but am tired of dealing with these much older men who think I would be flattered they were interested. I mean we are not talking hot and or rich guys here, but rather unappealing men. This idea that older women aren't hot anymore is rather disturbing, especially coming from men who are nothing. I too judge men on looks and if he's not someone I feel attracted to I can't date. The funny thing is at events I get hit on by younger men so I can't be that repulsive.

Maybe a regional thing too. Where i'm at, you'll see beautiful older women with these hot actor/model looking younger men. I have met plenty of men who prefer older. My exbf also preferred older women... I was the youngest he's had(I'm a year younger).

Again, everyone is different with their own preferences. I wouldn't put too much thought into those men who frustrate you either. Remember, positive thinking/LAO. hehe ;)

Kellydancer
04-09-2012, 12:29 AM
Maybe a regional thing too. Where i'm at, you'll see beautiful older women with these hot actor/model looking younger men. I have met plenty of men who prefer older. My exbf also preferred older women... I was the youngest he's had(I'm a year younger).

Again, everyone is different with their own preferences. I wouldn't put too much thought into those men who frustrate you either. Remember, positive thinking/LAO. hehe ;)

I see some of those older women/younger men relationships too and the ironic thing? I get contacted more on the dating sites by 30 year old men than I do 40 year olds, and I don't think all of them are looking for sex. I might feel a bit weird dating much younger because what would we have in common? My mom and many friends of mine suggested younger men because I am a very young 41 and these might be good guys so I am keeping options open. My best boyfriend was 3 years younger. Oh and far better looking than the 40 year olds who are telling me I am too old.

cherryblossomsinspring
04-20-2012, 09:30 AM
I read someone said that the older men were probably assholes when they were younger and women still dated them.

This is not always the case. They were probably great guys when they were young but when age comes around some of these men still felt they could attract any women meanwhile they are drinking too many beers and not working out. Now they hit 50 and are fat. They still see that hot young stud when they look in the mirror even though they have to put their belt on the last hole. So they go out there trying to hit on the hottest women and when they get turned down, they get pissed off. I mean the nasty , angriest comments come out of their mouths like they are OWED something. This attitude probably started at late 40's but it continues on. They are also the guys that are the most critical of a woman's looks even though that mirror should have been broken years ago with what they were putting in front of it. They are rocking the comb over and still think they are all kinds of sexy. It's just that fucked up. Now if I get to their age maybe I'll find them attractive who knows. I can't really say what a woman at 70 is attracted to.

Women on the other hand are always concerned about their own looks, so they tend to keep up with the latest procedures, be it creams, medspa, plastic surgery. Women will always find ways to stay looking as young as possible. Older men don't actually follow these same rituals so once shit gets out of hand they don't do anything to correct it. They may start with some Cherrios after almost having a heart attack but that's about it. They may not even be able to see their dicks past their stomach so instead they bend alittle and say yup I still got it.

Why the warped sense of reality is so prevalent in older men is beyond me. Since I started camming I wondered this myself. When you have a guy trying to give you his number and he has to be around 70 and you're thinking wtf? Why the hell would I call you on my free fucking time? Do you have mirrors in your house? WTF are the putting in that heart medication? Or you hear a guy in the same age range get all frustrated because he says he's looking for love and your thinking " where has this man been for the last 50 years or was he in a fallout shelter and just surfaced?" Seriously some of these men come off seem mentally unstable.

These men have had full complete lives before I was even thought of being born, I feel it's only fair for them to date women that more so resemble their own life experiences to have some sort of connection and common ground. Can you imagine being younger than some guys kids? Or his kids already having a family of their own? I just find it bordering on the pedophilia. Now I know they are still interested in someone of age but still you have to think that this person was probably working on their 3rd child since the 1st one was already off to college meanwhile your head is still translucent, you have a tail and your hands and feet haven't even developed yet. How does that not make people slightly gag at the thought? EWW

5-10 is the safe range. He's older has abit more experience and still open to teach and learn.

socialreject
04-20-2012, 10:42 AM
Bottom line: go with your gut instinct. If you get a bad feeling about an older man, then steer clear. If you enjoy spending time with him, then good for you. I'm sick of people trying to make it sound sick. Just go with what feels right, not what feels "logical" or "socially acceptable".

Kellydancer
04-20-2012, 12:50 PM
I read someone said that the older men were probably assholes when they were younger and women still dated them.

This is not always the case. They were probably great guys when they were young but when age comes around some of these men still felt they could attract any women meanwhile they are drinking too many beers and not working out. Now they hit 50 and are fat. They still see that hot young stud when they look in the mirror even though they have to put their belt on the last hole. So they go out there trying to hit on the hottest women and when they get turned down, they get pissed off. I mean the nasty , angriest comments come out of their mouths like they are OWED something. This attitude probably started at late 40's but it continues on. They are also the guys that are the most critical of a woman's looks even though that mirror should have been broken years ago with what they were putting in front of it. They are rocking the comb over and still think they are all kinds of sexy. It's just that fucked up. Now if I get to their age maybe I'll find them attractive who knows. I can't really say what a woman at 70 is attracted to.

Women on the other hand are always concerned about their own looks, so they tend to keep up with the latest procedures, be it creams, medspa, plastic surgery. Women will always find ways to stay looking as young as possible. Older men don't actually follow these same rituals so once shit gets out of hand they don't do anything to correct it. They may start with some Cherrios after almost having a heart attack but that's about it. They may not even be able to see their dicks past their stomach so instead they bend alittle and say yup I still got it.

Why the warped sense of reality is so prevalent in older men is beyond me. Since I started camming I wondered this myself. When you have a guy trying to give you his number and he has to be around 70 and you're thinking wtf? Why the hell would I call you on my free fucking time? Do you have mirrors in your house? WTF are the putting in that heart medication? Or you hear a guy in the same age range get all frustrated because he says he's looking for love and your thinking " where has this man been for the last 50 years or was he in a fallout shelter and just surfaced?" Seriously some of these men come off seem mentally unstable.

These men have had full complete lives before I was even thought of being born, I feel it's only fair for them to date women that more so resemble their own life experiences to have some sort of connection and common ground. Can you imagine being younger than some guys kids? Or his kids already having a family of their own? I just find it bordering on the pedophilia. Now I know they are still interested in someone of age but still you have to think that this person was probably working on their 3rd child since the 1st one was already off to college meanwhile your head is still translucent, you have a tail and your hands and feet haven't even developed yet. How does that not make people slightly gag at the thought? EWW

5-10 is the safe range. He's older has abit more experience and still open to teach and learn.

Agreed, though I think this sense of entitlement many men have starts even younger. I am an attractive 41, I look and act much younger and have no wrinkles at all. In fact if you met me you may wonder if I was mid 20's or so and a few months ago the librarian asked me if I was still in college because I looked that young to her. I have put on weight due to laziness but I am losing it and plan to be at a stripper body close to summer. Even so, I am still not overweight, just heavier than I was, but this is still thinner than many men my age. As women we are told we need to "settle" and take anything we can get but men are told they can have whatever woman they want. Men see all the fat guy/hot wife shows and think that is normal when it's not. In reality they are more likely to have a wife who's fat too.

A lot of people don't get why this bothers me and think I am bitter which is not the case. I just want the type of guy I feel I should have, and not have to take some reject. I shouldn't have to date an old man, or an obese old man because the guys my age, both attractive and not attractive are seeking younger women who don't want them. I've actually started searching for younger attractive men (and in fact are meeting several interested in me)because to be blunt if an unattractive older man can search younger so can an attractive woman.

cherryblossomsinspring
04-20-2012, 01:00 PM
.....

cherryblossomsinspring
04-20-2012, 01:00 PM
Bottom line: go with your gut instinct. If you get a bad feeling about an older man, then steer clear. If you enjoy spending time with him, then good for you. I'm sick of people trying to make it sound sick. Just go with what feels right, not what feels "logical" or "socially acceptable".

Actually it's socially acceptable for an old man to hit on a young women. The people that think is sick are actually going against society. Some of these older men are trying to follow behind successful older men that can do this because of well their success in life , finance, share holdings. If the guy is old he has to generally have money, success or celebrity status. If it's not one of those then he'll be lying through his poligrip hoping she'll believe him.

hf487
04-20-2012, 01:05 PM
my Bf will be 38 n a few months and im 24 i don't think age matters : ) i love him he's mature where he needs to be but has a goofy side to him, Were really compatible! i can't date guys even near my age i don't like younger guys.

cherryblossomsinspring
04-20-2012, 01:08 PM
Agreed, though I think this sense of entitlement many men have starts even younger. I am an attractive 41, I look and act much younger and have no wrinkles at all. In fact if you met me you may wonder if I was mid 20's or so and a few months ago the librarian asked me if I was still in college because I looked that young to her. I have put on weight due to laziness but I am losing it and plan to be at a stripper body close to summer. Even so, I am still not overweight, just heavier than I was, but this is still thinner than many men my age. As women we are told we need to "settle" and take anything we can get but men are told they can have whatever woman they want. Men see all the fat guy/hot wife shows and think that is normal when it's not. In reality they are more likely to have a wife who's fat too.

A lot of people don't get why this bothers me and think I am bitter which is not the case. I just want the type of guy I feel I should have, and not have to take some reject. I shouldn't have to date an old man, or an obese old man because the guys my age, both attractive and not attractive are seeking younger women who don't want them. I've actually started searching for younger attractive men (and in fact are meeting several interested in me)because to be blunt if an unattractive older man can search younger so can an attractive woman.

Actually I noticed that too. I grew up watching sitcoms where the husband was grossly overweight but the wife was a size 2. Never understood that. Now I will admit that women are more forgiving on looks but generally these men had to start from a decent place to begin with. What I think happens is that they probably cheat get caught and get divorced. Now they are starting over and didn't appreciate what they had. Maybe that's what's going on. Maybe I should take a gerontology class to get some insight. It just seems bizarre and there has to be more to it than this. I noticed this on the sugar daddy blogs too. The guys there boast to such a degree and when you see what they look like. It's like wtf? You want someone to fuck you for $1000 a month 10 days and maybe 6 hours a day? All while being married ? Who in their right mind....

cherryblossomsinspring
04-20-2012, 01:24 PM
No KellyD I don't think you're bitter. I just think you're annoyed. I'm not dating really right now. But if I was I'd probably be annoyed too. I remember a guy put a lower age on his profile because the site bared seriously older men from contacting younger women. He did put his real age on his profile but he was old fat and ugly. Now I still needed to hear this guy out since I felt he was pretty bold. He puts his number in a message only. Really? Arrogant much? I thought it was funny but I said I just had to hear this guy out.

So I contact him and said why did you contact me. He's like well you're attractive blah blah. So I said thanks but you're XXX age I can't remember what it was but if the site bared him he was old. So I said ok maybe this guy is joking this isn't for real. So he goes and says he's in show biz " YAAAWWWN". LOL Right that's why you're on a dating site? Can't they find some starlet for you to fuck to get a part? lol Anyways the guy continues on trying to talk himself up. I was like wow giving me the sales pitch. So I start telling him about the music I like and the clubs I go to . Now I knew this was not his thing but I wanted to show him " we have nothing in common old man". lol So he's like yeah clubs aren't my thing. I was like ooh well , guess we can't go out ha! He's like well how about you come over, I have a nice place blah blah blah ... going on like I was interviewing him for Better Homes and Garden. Who cares right??? He's offering me a erotic massage. Lol Wow how could I pass up the chance to be molested by grandpa. I told him nah that's not my thing. He's like the way I see it is that it's a benefit for you. I mean I'm the one that's not getting the benefit. Lol I was like how about you keep your hands to yourself and come out to one of these clubs. lol I know I'm mean right? lol He looses it starts saying " you women all act like your pussies are all that" If I was a woman I would be selling it. These girls over her get $50 bucks. Huh? excuse me? Yeah guy fucking lost it and got nasty fast just because I turned down his molestation. I said well if it's just $50 bucks then why are we even talking. Have fun, I'm going out to dance. Night.!

This was just the best. I was really curious to hear what the old guy really had to say. What common ground of life experiences did we have? Instead it was more like a pedophile trying to lure me out. Creepy. But I had a good laugh. I mean how he tried to make his molestation sound like I was going to benefit from it. That was the best bullshitting ever.

True Story.

Kellydancer
04-20-2012, 02:44 PM
Was that a sugar daddy site? I haven't dealt with those, but am doing the online sites and the amount of guys much older contacting me amazes and astounds me all the time. The funny thing is one of the paid dating sites has a section just for women where women voice their frustrations and this is by far the biggest complaint. The funny thing is every single one of these women is very attractive yet men their age are rejecting them from about late 30's and up. The men who are rejecting them also have photos and they aren't worth a 25 year old, they aren't even worth women their age. It's bad enough being rejected by men at their level but being rejected by overweight men is even worse. Then these same men complain they can't find a wife. Well duh if you didn't reject women your age.

glitzy
04-21-2012, 09:40 PM
I just turned 25 and my boyfriend is 38. We met on Spain in a salad bar -- we were both there for Sonar festival jetlagged as hell and both alone and he just started talking to me, asking what I was writing in my book. From there we bonded over fibonacci ratios, pattern recognition, philosophy, economics, electronic music, various other nerdy shit.

We were crossing the street and about to part and If you ask him to tell the story he'll say that I said something like "abstract narrative" and he was sold. Ha

From there we hung out almost every day in barcelona and ended up traveling all over together. We didn't get together right away and I'm happy that we waited to sleep together because it subconsciously confirmed that he wasn't just in it for sex.

Although he's 13 years older he looks a lot older so we don't get too much judgement. But it's interesting because we both acknowledge that had we not met under such weird circumstances we may not have given one another a shot and/or would have been way more hung up on the age thing.

I can't see myself ever dating someone in their 20s after this. I am just not attracted to younger guys.
Also some of the shit that girls I know put up with from young guys makes me shake my head with amazement. 25 year olds are the new 16 year olds.

mediocrity
04-22-2012, 12:32 AM
Not really. Different ppl want/like different things. There are girls like me who need visual stimulation, just like men. I need to be physically attracted to someone in order for me to sleep with him. That's number one. I wish I was one of those girls who didn't give a shit about looks, but I just can't.

Then there are men who really don't care about dating women their age or a little older, & aren't into dating someone their child's age(not knocking it, just saying).



BOTM, thanks. :) That guy didn't get a rise out of me. Nothing idiot customers say gets to me anyway. I was just really shocked that someone pushing 50(or is 50?) would tell me 30 is a "tad old" for his preference. Fkn crazy. LOL.

This. Conversely, once I find him attractive, he can't be an idiot either.