View Full Version : Why are so many wealthy white men not attracted to women of color?
All Good Things
03-22-2012, 11:46 AM
Part of it has to do with how they were brought up. I was brought up in a very white neighborhood...we literally had like two black kids in my entire high school. I simply didn't have exposure to other races.
Yes, this is exactly right.
It's worth mentioning that there are many successful white men who prefer WOC -- Bill Maher and Roger Ebert come to mind -- and in these cases it's because they've been socialized to expand their circle in that way. Ebert preferentially dated WOC through most of his adulthood.
To support what Charlie has written above: The circle of races that men are exposed to when they first go through puberty and then sexual maturity has an enormous impact on their choices, and older men in the U.S. matured in a (relatively) less integrated society. All humans use a mental "filter" to make sense of their environment, and a lot of this filter is constructed unconsciously. In the case of race-related sexual preferences, it's strongly affected by what race is around and available during the sexual maturation process.
On the flip side, this is also why successful white men often perceive WOC as "exotic," because within that limited bubble, they are exotic. And obviously many WOC have found a way to use that to their advantage.
CurvySweet
03-22-2012, 03:03 PM
A friend sent me this ages ago:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2016282/Charity-worker-paid-5-000-Jamaican-brides-visa-left-heartbroken-flees-UK-home-20-MINUTES.html
Had me LMAO!
charlie61
03-22-2012, 06:13 PM
Yes, this is exactly right.
It's worth mentioning that there are many successful white men who prefer WOC -- Bill Maher and Roger Ebert come to mind -- and in these cases it's because they've been socialized to expand their circle in that way. Ebert preferentially dated WOC through most of his adulthood.
To support what Charlie has written above: The circle of races that men are exposed to when they first go through puberty and then sexual maturity has an enormous impact on their choices, and older men in the U.S. matured in a (relatively) less integrated society. All humans use a mental "filter" to make sense of their environment, and a lot of this filter is constructed unconsciously. In the case of race-related sexual preferences, it's strongly affected by what race is around and available during the sexual maturation process.
On the flip side, this is also why successful white men often perceive WOC as "exotic," because within that limited bubble, they are exotic. And obviously many WOC have found a way to use that to their advantage.
Yup. The dirty secret buried here is that women work the EXACT same way.
Lovelyme
03-23-2012, 11:38 AM
Wow "I hate white men"? Really? I all the sudden feel like a loser reading this thread. Negative and Nasty!
TracyBlade
03-23-2012, 11:35 PM
Ummm...seriously? People are attracted to whoever/whatever they are attracted to. Get off your high horse.
pinkcherrypie
03-28-2012, 09:00 AM
I dont think the OP has a nasty attutide or that she is on a high horse, she is simply just venting (but in the worst way).
I understand the frustration of being rejected, but I dont really think race is the only factor. Could be so many things, picture quality, body type, hairstyle, etc.
On another note, I am not offended by guys who are not attracted to black women. It simply is just preference, just like how I am not really attracted to Asian or Indian men.
pinkcherrypie
03-28-2012, 09:04 AM
Also, the absolute WORST thing you can do to your self esteem is to post a picture of another woman and compare your responses you get. There is a man out there for every woman! I have a friend who is dark skinned and she has MULTIPLE sugar daddies. Just gotta find em, money is worth it.
slowpoke
03-28-2012, 10:06 AM
I had a profile up on some sugar daddy sites and I got very very few messages or profile views. Some guys didnt even respond to my messages :'( So I decided to do a little experiment and put up a picture of a young white girl with blonde hair and big boobs. My profile views have skyrocketed and Im getting all kinds of messages. When I look at these guys profiles alot of them either say flat out I only am attracted to white girls/i dont date outside my race/no african americans/etc :'( It seems like these guys only want a lily white young girl. And even if they do get a WOC she looks very racially ambiguous and its obvious she has some white in her. I hate white men :mad:
This is a perfect example of the entitlement mentality.
All Good Things
03-28-2012, 10:24 AM
^ If you take a few steps back -- this helps with perspective -- you may see that the men suffer from an entitlement mentality all their own.
It's that unseemly and vaguely repulsive entitlement that men who have a few dollars today think the dollars entitle them to exhibit.
slowpoke
03-28-2012, 11:27 AM
They are entitled to spend THEIR money as THEY choose. Does this come as a surprise?
It is a lot different from being “entitled” to someone else’s money just because you want it.
All Good Things
03-28-2012, 12:03 PM
^ I see that I'm not explaining this very well.
Two types of entitlement:
1. I have money, therefore I am entitled to use this money to buy the affection of a hot girl.
2. I am a hot girl, therefore I am entitled through my hot body to have a man spend his money for my affection.
Leaving aside the commodity argument and the fact that this transaction occurs in various diluted ways in the world every day, both sides can get distracted and ultimately derailed by thinking that their own form of currency -- cash or hotness -- qualifies as an entitlement in and of itself.
When the subject is human beings, neither side is "entitled" to anything.
Kellydancer
03-28-2012, 12:39 PM
Yes, this is exactly right.
It's worth mentioning that there are many successful white men who prefer WOC -- Bill Maher and Roger Ebert come to mind -- and in these cases it's because they've been socialized to expand their circle in that way. Ebert preferentially dated WOC through most of his adulthood.
To support what Charlie has written above: The circle of races that men are exposed to when they first go through puberty and then sexual maturity has an enormous impact on their choices, and older men in the U.S. matured in a (relatively) less integrated society. All humans use a mental "filter" to make sense of their environment, and a lot of this filter is constructed unconsciously. In the case of race-related sexual preferences, it's strongly affected by what race is around and available during the sexual maturation process.
On the flip side, this is also why successful white men often perceive WOC as "exotic," because within that limited bubble, they are exotic. And obviously many WOC have found a way to use that to their advantage.
I wonder if in their case it's because both have lived in major more openminded cities almost their adult life (Ebert in Chicago and Maher in NYC). I firmly believe that how one is raised and where they are raised makes a huge difference. I know for me I grew up in a diverse area and know a lot of interracial coulpes, including my brother and once asked my brother what made him attracted to my sister in law. He said he was turned on by her intelligence first and foremost (they were friends for years before dating). My sister in law is very educated (Northwestern University grad)and the best way to describe her is Oprah's look and talk alike. Meanwhile my brother was set up on dates with white women (before his wife)and was not interested, though he did date white women too. He wasn't interested because these weren't high class women and my brother despises scum.
I know for me what I was exposed to made me realize early on what I was attracted to.
cherryblossomsinspring
03-28-2012, 12:40 PM
I'm surprised someone would ask such a question and then attack the race they want the attention from. Now on SD sites many of these men are up in age. 50+ You're having to deal with the times they were brought up in. Again why would you want someone that clearly isn't interested in you is beyond me. I've seen the SD blogs of SA and even WYP and there's always someone coming into the blog saying " what you don't like black girls" and going off. The only thing it does is paint a poor picture of your self esteem and the "going off part" makes you look sick. People are attracted to what they are attracted to and no one should force what they want on another person. It's their money and it's their choice. Actually looking on SA's blog one of the WOC there is actually receiving a nice allowance with gifts and trips and seems to be the only one in that blog that's doing so well. She's also in I think a 36-45 year old range, which is not the typical desire of most men there. Generally the desired age range is 18-23.
Most of the other women there are still looking. Did she just get lucky? or does she command what she feels she deserves and has found an SD that appreciates her far better than any of what the guys on that blog offer. Every once in a while one of the main bloggers there puts his profile number in and when you see the guy's picture and what he's offering $1,000 or less you realize that all of their talk is fairly cheap. I used to think the main bloggers were $8,000+ guys but the main guys are not even close. One guy makes about $300,000 a year and yet he's only offering $1,000-$2,000 a month. Another guy there is married and does P4P and seems to promote this way of treating SBs through each of his posts.You even have women and men laughing at the ladies that ask for $10,000 allowances and changing them down to $3,000. Why? because he may have wanted to meet the lady but with what she was asking he couldn't afford her and now he contacts her just to laugh and poke fun. You have to consider that the ugliest men with money can now feel wanted by women that would never have dated them at a young age or even now for free. The women are interested in the money only. Yes they'll have a relationship but realistically without the money these women wouldn't give these men the time of day. If anything I'm pretty sure they feel just as pissed off about that fact as you. So after some time and bitterness you'll have guys on that site trying to scam women, treating them like trash and so forth. I find most SD sites too time consuming where I could have already made a few grand after some fun cam shows. SA blog is a small fraction of all the members on the site.
Now many of the guys on those SD sites are fakes so you're probably lucking up on missing out on a bunch of time wasters. Consider yourself lucky in that regard. You should focus on writing a great profile and putting up your best pictures and showing the men that may find you attractive that you are worth every penny.
You feeling rejected and then turning around and reversing that rejection could make you look like a loose cannon. You don't want me? Well f*** you! The number one rule that most SD's want SB's to adhere to is NO DRAMA. Show that you're dramatic and they'll see you as a problem that they're glad to avoid.
Some of the most sought after women on that site have been treated like $99 special prostitutes.
I even read one WOC went and contacted a man that was only interested in white women. She turned him around and he started seeing her desired allowance. So again it can happen, you just need to put yourself out there and hope to hell you have time to sift through all the bullshit. Personally most women of any race that are already in the adult industry may find those sites exhausting with time that could be better used for either a real relationship, finding an SD off those sites or just doing her job.
In cam,phone, stripping and escort work women can meet SD types with ease. Some guys will pay through the nose to have an exclusive relationship with a woman they already know or have made a connection with.
$1000 a month to maybe sleep with some married man , that wants unprotected sex , texts, phone calls, long dates 2-3 days a week that end up being overnighters so 5-8 hrs , exclusivity where he can sleep around but I have to play the kept woman, dropping what I'm doing on a moment's notice, lets not forget that he'll probably be fat, have sexual problems etc.
You also have to realize that many of the guys that used to be on clist are now on SD sites looking to trick women into sex for $0 or sex for cheap$150-$300 yet don't want escorts that will tell them to hit the road after they blow.
There was a girl that came into the blog talking about how some guy made an arrangement for $1000 a month and instead had sex with her 10 times in one night saying " don't rush me" and threw her $500 and left. Can you even image being treated like that?
Ohh and I read another blog post about STi's that was rather fun seeing how 1 sugar baby asked 3 sugar daddies to get tested and 2 came back with some incurable shit. Skin color should be the last thing on your mind when you should be worrying about something growing on the skin of your genitalia.
The Sugar Bowl has gotten rather dirty and you have to really think about who is really contacting you and what are they REALLY OFFERING YOU. You could have some bills paid today but may end up with a lifetime of oozing lesions.
Entitlement is frown on there. You should do best to avoid displaying that if you can.
You can't act like you're about the money, it's a weird dynamic. You have to act like you don't need the money but if you act like you don't then that bothers them too. It's really a delicate balance of being confident but not being too sure of yourself. Being self sufficient but being grateful for some of the crumbs that may be tossed your way.
Kellydancer
03-28-2012, 12:46 PM
This applies to all women. Don't focus on men who don't want you. Whether it be for business or pleasure. Focus on the ones who want you. Don't waste your energy wondering why so & so doesn't like you. This kind of thinking doesn't help you. It's their lost. ;-)
Yes! Why do people complain when a certain group doesn't like them? When I was dancing I noticed the young white frat boys did not generally like me though I was their race and income level. Instead of sitting in a corner crying I sought out the men who were attracted, which were older professional men.
Obviously with dating it is a bit different and frustrated when we are only attracted to certain groups who don't like us. I tend to favor certain looks in dating, namely nice looking in shape men with educated jobs. After all since I am nice looking and educated I figured they would like me too. Sadly, in my case that is not true and it does get frustrating. It really stinks dating people who aren't your type but sometimes one needs to go out of their comfort level.
BlkSharpie
03-28-2012, 12:55 PM
Its true that most of the guys on the SD sites are fakes...so when it comes down to it...who cares what they think? :D
Swapping out pics, making up profiles, doing all of that for an informal survey of what guys who want to take advantage of women who want the money they do not have accomplishes nothing. Except perhaps spark a lively debate!
Avamonet
03-28-2012, 12:59 PM
I know I'm late to this party but I'll add my 2 cents. I have rarely ever seen this phenomenon of white men not being interested in black women. Of course I know it exists but I get about the same amount of appointments from white men as I do black men. And I live in the south and I am black black. Not light-skinned, not mixed but full dark-skinned. I don't market myself in a way to attract more white customers than black or vice versa. I just post ads and I wait and I always get white men. I've even had weeks where I've been like "damn am I gonna get any black clients this week". In fact today has been one of those days. WHite men have liked black women since forever. They may not all be open with it. They may not tell their friends (or their wives lol) but they like us. And they don't just like certain kinds of black women. Some like ghetto ones. Some like proper ones. But that's just life. Everyone likes something different. Someone mentioned they don't like girls with big asses. Please! My ass is huge. 45 inches to be exact and they love it. Now am I saying all white men or men in general love it? OF course not. Guys who don't like that, don't contact me. Just like guys who like thick girls don't call girls who are a size 2. They go for what they like. Plain and simple.
BlkSharpie
03-28-2012, 01:16 PM
Youre going to make me cry :D When I was camming, I used to advertise my 45" ass...then after my breakup, I was fast losing weight...went down to 43", then down to 40"..and I didnt say anything, but guys were all...wow, youve lost weight..whered your ass go?! *tears*
And to top it off...even kiddo told me shes happy I lost weight, cause before, we couldnt go anywhere without guys trying to stop and talk to me (white and latino both)...and she was like...now that you lost weight we can go out and nobody bothers us. *tears*
Im not thin, but I dont have that crazy curve anymore...so I just look like your average run of the mill girl, with a maybe bigger than usual butt, but nothing to go ga ga over anymore. Even white men, actually Id even say..definitely white men.
Avamonet
03-28-2012, 01:41 PM
Youre going to make me cry :D When I was camming, I used to advertise my 45" ass...then after my breakup, I was fast losing weight...went down to 43", then down to 40"..and I didnt say anything, but guys were all...wow, youve lost weight..whered your ass go?! *tears*
And to top it off...even kiddo told me shes happy I lost weight, cause before, we couldnt go anywhere without guys trying to stop and talk to me (white and latino both)...and she was like...now that you lost weight we can go out and nobody bothers us. *tears*
Im not thin, but I dont have that crazy curve anymore...so I just look like your average run of the mill girl, with a maybe bigger than usual butt, but nothing to go ga ga over anymore. Even white men, actually Id even say..definitely white men.
I can't take any credit. It's all genetics and I get it from both sides. So no matter how much weight I lose, it's still there. The same thing with my boobs. I can be 95lbs but my boobs will never be lower than a 40 DDD. It's insane but it's my saving grace because as long as my boobs stick out further than my stomach and my hips are wider than my midsection, I can still maintain the hourglass and look good lol.
mikef
03-28-2012, 01:49 PM
There was a girl that came into the blog talking about how some guy made an arrangement for $1000 a month and instead had sex with her 10 times in one night saying " don't rush me" and threw her $500 and left..
10 times in one night..... Lol.
Must be a youngin. ;D
BlkSharpie
03-28-2012, 01:49 PM
Luckeeeeey! LoL!!!!!
I do have to say, I mean...my butt is still big by average standards. Its just not as big as it used to be that I really liked...*le sigh!* The only time I literally lost my butt was many years ago when I was down to a size 2. But my breasts...they stay exactly the same no matter what...from size 2 to size 14 and everything inbetween..they look exactly the same. Mother nature totally cheated me out of puberty :D
TracyBlade
03-29-2012, 12:03 AM
I dont think the OP has a nasty attutide or that she is on a high horse, she is simply just venting (but in the worst way).
I understand the frustration of being rejected, but I dont really think race is the only factor. Could be so many things, picture quality, body type, hairstyle, etc.
On another note, I am not offended by guys who are not attracted to black women. It simply is just preference, just like how I am not really attracted to Asian or Indian men.
Oh her horse is high lol. I'm not offended by who other people are attracted to....sorry.
tempest666
03-29-2012, 02:33 AM
I'd like to tell the OP to come to PA. The other day I was going around for my tips and I see this cute little metalhead.(In PA we have the "tip walk") Long hair, tattoos the whole shebang. I'm thinking "Jackpot!!!" He pretty much ignored me and I'm cussing him out " You don't like blonde hair and fake tits?" Turns out he only likes black girls. So there are a TON out there and not everyone wants a (faux) blonde with (faux) tits
cherryblossomsinspring
03-29-2012, 03:52 PM
10 times in one night..... Lol.
Must be a youngin. ;D
No I don't think the guy was young he was a John trying to see how far he could get this girl to "trick". I don't think he was a guy with a high sex drive either. He knew very well that if he got an escort he would probably only get to go twice and have to leave after an hour at around $300. Get a sugar baby that doesnt know any better and push her do a all nighter. Some of those old guys are just really fucking cruel so they take out their frustrations on those young women.
Jay12
03-30-2012, 09:04 AM
BTW: race is in quotes because there is no biological evidence that it is real. Humans are of one race.
I love this sentence; it is true, there is only one human race. After all, all the other races of human beings are extinct.
LibraSnake
03-31-2012, 12:50 AM
I had a profile up on some sugar daddy sites and I got very very few messages or profile views. Some guys didnt even respond to my messages :'( So I decided to do a little experiment and put up a picture of a young white girl with blonde hair and big boobs. My profile views have skyrocketed and Im getting all kinds of messages. When I look at these guys profiles alot of them either say flat out I only am attracted to white girls/i dont date outside my race/no african americans/etc :'( It seems like these guys only want a lily white young girl. And even if they do get a WOC she looks very racially ambiguous and its obvious she has some white in her. I hate white men :mad:
Promise me you won't think I'm a racist for this...
But it's the stereotypes, unfortunately.
Black women are often stereotyped as loud/lazy/needy/demanding welfare queens, and to them, the fact that you're on a SD website reinforces that notion. EVEN THOUGH THAT'S NOT PROBABLY NOT TRUE.
Unfortunately, this doesn't tend to apply to women of other races.
White women seem to portray every dirty ol' man's fantasy of a hot college sorority girl. lol
Asians are seen as adorable little sex brides to purchase.
Latinas seem to either become lumped in the white or Asian category.
So maybe portray either the White or Asian image in your wording!
Hope this helps...but I don't know, since I'm White myself. :-X
LibraSnake
03-31-2012, 12:52 AM
Also, no offense to some of these posters here, but I think race *can* be a limiting factor in the adult industry.
At the massage parlor I used to work at, the owners explicitly mentioned that they ONLY hire white girls, because in their opinion, it's what the clientele wanted.
I didn't agree with that philosophy, but I didn't tell them, since I was making good money there and wanted to stay on their good side, lol.
But if the owners (a male and a female) saw it like that, how many others do too? It's not fair, I agree.
All Good Things
03-31-2012, 12:45 PM
Promise me you won't think I'm a racist for this...
But it's the stereotypes, unfortunately.
Black women are often stereotyped as loud/lazy/needy/demanding welfare queens, and to them, the fact that you're on a SD website reinforces that notion. EVEN THOUGH THAT'S NOT PROBABLY NOT TRUE.
Unfortunately, this doesn't tend to apply to women of other races.
White women seem to portray every dirty ol' man's fantasy of a hot college sorority girl. lol
Asians are seen as adorable little sex brides to purchase.
Latinas seem to either become lumped in the white or Asian category.
So maybe portray either the White or Asian image in your wording!
Hope this helps...but I don't know, since I'm White myself. :-X
It's always a bad sign when posts start out with "promise me you won't think I'm racist for this, but...." and then something blatantly racist suddenly appears.
I understand your point about how many people see the world through stereotypes, and that's not very useful, and often hostile. I agree. But your portrayal of the stereotypes clearly showed that you've already been co-opted by them.
For example, hateful stereotyping doesn't apply to women of other races? Really?
Do you honestly think white women are universally seen as hot college sorority girls?
If you're going to use words like "loud/lazy/needy/demanding" to refer to the WOC stereotype of women, how about an accurate portrayal of the white women stereotype? I mean one that does not portray them all as hot college sorority girls.
Here's one, just off the top of my head: Self-absorbed, spoiled, skinny, bratty, vain, racist, hateful, man-stealing, back-biting, anorexic, judgmental, cracker-ass bitches. And that's just one stereotype.
See my point?
Stereotypes are, unfortunately, applicable to every race. They are pernicious, hateful and unfair. But if you think for a moment that they don't apply to your own racial group -- or worse, apply to only a single racial group -- you are deeply and sadly mistaken.
BlkSharpie
03-31-2012, 02:06 PM
Trailer park! Dont forget trailer park!! :D
Okay, I can totally laugh at this, and I hope y'all see the humour in this too.. But growing up I always got teased that I dont talk/act/whatever like a black girl, Im whiter than my white friends, etc blah blah blah. Very annoying. Anyway, when I was in the military, I had to move out of the barracks, and the only place I could afford was a single wide in an honest to goodness just like how you see in the movies, beer can wind chimes and all trailer park.
One day, some guy said how I talk so proper and act white. I told him, well...you might be on to something...I do live in a trailer park. He kind of gave me this blank look, and was like...well no, I didnt mean that kind of white person. And I told him, wait, so Im not the bad stereotype of a black person, so Im acting white, but Im not the bad stereotype of a white person so.......does that mean Im black again?! and gave him my best "Im so confused" expression :D
He was all irritated with me cause apparently I didnt get it and was taking his compliment the wrong way...
Compliments like that can be shoved in dark tight places...
LibraSnake
03-31-2012, 03:11 PM
It's always a bad sign when posts start out with "promise me you won't think I'm racist for this, but...." and then something blatantly racist suddenly appears.
I understand your point about how many people see the world through stereotypes, and that's not very useful, and often hostile. I agree. But your portrayal of the stereotypes clearly showed that you've already been co-opted by them.
For example, hateful stereotyping doesn't apply to women of other races? Really?
Do you honestly think white women are universally seen as hot college sorority girls?
If you're going to use words like "loud/lazy/needy/demanding" to refer to the WOC stereotype of women, how about an accurate portrayal of the white women stereotype? I mean one that does not portray them all as hot college sorority girls.
Here's one, just off the top of my head: Self-absorbed, spoiled, skinny, bratty, vain, racist, hateful, man-stealing, back-biting, anorexic, judgmental, cracker-ass bitches. And that's just one stereotype.
See my point?
Stereotypes are, unfortunately, applicable to every race. They are pernicious, hateful and unfair. But if you think for a moment that they don't apply to your own racial group -- or worse, apply to only a single racial group -- you are deeply and sadly mistaken.
Did I ever say that negative stereotypes don't exist for other races? No.
But when you look at the disproportionate success rates based on race, all else equal, it's a valid assumption that people are cherry-picking the negative stereotypes of black women, and viewing other races with the less negative stereotypes.
If everyone faced an equal amount of negative judgment, everyone would be in the same boat.
I see a lot of black men on these SD sites, but they don't ever show interest - it's just as possible that they're negatively stereotyping me for being white.
I'm not being racist, I'm honestly just stating the obvious. I'm sick of all this PC crap.
If people are doing unfair things to people, it's likely for unfair reasons.
Kellydancer
03-31-2012, 03:30 PM
Also, no offense to some of these posters here, but I think race *can* be a limiting factor in the adult industry.
At the massage parlor I used to work at, the owners explicitly mentioned that they ONLY hire white girls, because in their opinion, it's what the clientele wanted.
I didn't agree with that philosophy, but I didn't tell them, since I was making good money there and wanted to stay on their good side, lol.
But if the owners (a male and a female) saw it like that, how many others do too? It's not fair, I agree.
I once auditioned at a massage parlor that supposedly offered private dances and they asked me on the phone if I was white so I do know racism exists. It's unfair but one of the reasons some companies don't hire woc is because the clients don't like it for some reason. When I ran an entertainment agency I got easily 20 calls for white girls versus one for blacks and the sad thing is I had a beautiful black girl who later went into porn and adult modeling.
I'm white but not sure I was ever thought of as a college girl, even in college.
All Good Things
03-31-2012, 04:07 PM
Did I ever say that negative stereotypes don't exist for other races? No.
That's exactly what you said. Right here:
Black women are often stereotyped as loud/lazy/needy/demanding welfare queens.....Unfortunately, this doesn't tend to apply to women of other races.
The only way you would think that negative stereotypes "tend not to appy to other races" is that you are not of any one of those races, don't experience the stereotype or pay the price of the prejudice.
And forgive me, it's just idiotic (sorry) to say things like "disproportionate success rates based on race, all else equal..." because all else is dramatically unequal. It's also ignoring the obvious, which is that "disproportionate success rates based on race" correlate very closely to disproportionately crappy shithole environments in which many minorities find themselves and out of which they need to drag themselves against what are often astronomically poor odds.
If you are of Caucasian extraction in the U.S., it's fundamentally impossible for you to understand what it's like to be a minority, and even more impossible for you to see or appreciate what the world looks like through their eyes.
If you go live in Japan for a while, it's a good first step to understanding what it's like to be thought of as a lazy, unreliable, self-centered piece of shit, because in Japan, that's how many older, traditional Japanese see the gaijin. That's how they see you.
It's a useful wake-up call for people who are used to being on top of the world and suddenly finding themselves looked down upon.
LibraSnake
03-31-2012, 07:19 PM
That's exactly what you said. Right here:
The only way you would think that negative stereotypes "tend not to appy to other races" is that you are not of any one of those races, don't experience the stereotype or pay the price of the prejudice.
Context, context. That comment was pretty obviously made within the context of the average SD/SB site - like I clarified, in the outside world, nobody is spared from negative judgment.
And forgive me, it's just idiotic (sorry) to say things like "disproportionate success rates based on race, all else equal..." because all else is dramatically unequal. It's also ignoring the obvious, which is that "disproportionate success rates based on race" correlate very closely to disproportionately crappy shithole environments in which many minorities find themselves and out of which they need to drag themselves against what are often astronomically poor odds.
Ok, I think you're cherry-picking parts of my posts in order to have an excuse to go off on your own tangent. I said "all else equal" in terms of income, level of education, location, etc. For example, two doctors both making $300K/yr, both living in Palo Alto, both with MDs from Stanford Med School, etc. Hopefully and likely, these studies regarding success rates of dating sites control for all those other variables in order to calculate the statistical influence of race, and race alone.
Are you telling me that I should assume that the white doctor's black peer obviously overcame astronomical odds, grew up in a shitty neighborhood, etc, just because he's black? Do you want to be judged like that?
Even if you're "going by the statistics" - well, going by the statistics, African Americans are incarcerated at higher rates than any other race - would you be OK with people going around judging black people as criminals?
If you are of Caucasian extraction in the U.S., it's fundamentally impossible for you to understand what it's like to be a minority, and even more impossible for you to see or appreciate what the world looks like through their eyes.
If you go live in Japan for a while, it's a good first step to understanding what it's like to be thought of as a lazy, unreliable, self-centered piece of shit, because in Japan, that's how many older, traditional Japanese see the gaijin. That's how they see you.
It's a useful wake-up call for people who are used to being on top of the world and suddenly finding themselves looked down upon.
With this portion of your post, you're basically admitting that blacks are viewed more negatively than others (or at least whites) are in America. And that contradicts not only what you chided me for, but with what I believe as well - that negative stereotypes ARE inflicted onto other groups of people, it just tends to differ by microcosm.
Do you think a strange, white man is going to be viewed favorably in Detroit or Compton? Yes, I realize that people in various parts of the world will view my race less favorably than they view others.
But seriously now, we have a black president. If this whole country "looked down upon" black people, Obama wouldn't be in office. Hell, black people, ALL ELSE EQUAL (and if you want me to automatically assume that they're the pitiable victims of poverty, you'll have to let me also assume that they're criminals), have certain advantages.
They've got affirmative action in their favor. They are protected by anti-discrimination laws (whereas a white person complaining about not getting hired by an organization comprised of other races would probably get laughed out of court). They're freer to express pride for their race - consider all the Black Clubs on campuses - whereas if I tried to start a "White Club", it'd be considered a chapter of the KKK.
etc etc. I'm not saying subtle racism doesn't exist - it does, and it's hard to prevent it.
But overall, my point of all this is, you can't complain that black people are "looked down upon" in America yet get upset at me for suggesting that maybe it's because people think of them more negatively in certain contexts - it doesn't even make sense, even if I made that remark regarding their reputation in America as a whole, much less in the microcosm that is a random sugar daddy dating site.
All Good Things
03-31-2012, 08:51 PM
I'll try to be brief, as the longer these posts get, the fewer people read them, assuming anybody is reading them at all.
I get your point about the context being SD/SB sites. But you must admit your original post flat out stated that the only race where negative stereotyping occurred in the minds of SDs was with WOC, and that the other stereotypes were all positive.
This is simply not true. If you were to magically enter the minds of all the men posting there, I think you would be shocked at the level of stereotyping on ALL races. What was even more surprising was that you suggested that Latinas had no relevant negative stereotypes, that they fit in between two other positive ones. That's a true WTF moment.
Anyway, the only point I've been trying to make here is that all races are stereotyped -- mostly negatively -- and it furthers no cause to pretend that they are not. It's pure speculation as to what goes through men's minds on a SD site, but I am quite sure I'm on firmer ground by claiming that the full spectrum of negative stereotypes is at work there, rather than the notion that the WOC are the sole targets of negativity.
Kellydancer
03-31-2012, 09:09 PM
I went to a majority black high school and the funny thing is this was when the Cosby Show was huge and most of my classmates were exactly like them. Most of them have done well and one classmate is a top name plastic surgeon to the stars in California. While yes they will encounter racism being black, they will not have the same obstacles as a black man in the ghetto. Yes they were city folk too, but once again not all city folk deal with the same things. Btw, there were lower class black students too and they hated white people and would always attack white students. The ironic thing? many of both my black classmates and the majority of my white classmates are now Republicans and anti affirmative action. When I was on the newspaper senior year it was taken over by a group of anti white students and wanted to make it only black stories. When I suggested doing an article about Revolutionary War hero Casimir Pulaski, I was told no because it wasn't their culture. Sorry, but I am part Polish and it is my culture.
I don't look at any race and judge, I judge based on many factors. The majority of low class I've known by far were white and I have many black friends and relatives and not one was low class. When I needed job assistance before dancing I was denied and that is racism as well.
Getting back to the main point, yes there is racism against black women but in my personal opinion so many were obese yet didn't realize this. Fat women are more of a fetish and to some people it is repulsive.
tempest666
03-31-2012, 09:22 PM
So I guess I live in a weird part of the country then LOL?
Kellydancer
04-01-2012, 12:26 AM
I don't know this is a weird area to me, or maybe it's weird because I live here who knows. I just know that while there is diversity, some clubs still don't hire black girls that are hot while hiring fat slob white women.
Pottymouth101
04-03-2012, 09:54 AM
I absolutely love this thread! This issue has been on my mind for sometime now. I get mixed results when it comes to attracting white men and my different buisnesses. Ive found that in phone sex that most of my best callers are black. They're loyal and come back often. Whenever I get a white caller I can almost count on them wanting to use racial slurs or they want a ghetto bitch, which I am not. I once had a guy tell me that I wasnt black. Say what? On the other hand when I dance my best tips come from white men and they tend to be a lot more respectful than black men. Its weird how it works out. But when Im out and about just living my life, mature white men approach me all the time. I live in Miami and its all mixed up down here. I seem to be very popular with the Jewish crowd.
CuriousLatina
04-07-2012, 07:40 AM
I have all that but none of it is fake. I'm black. I have seen girls in my area with my look - sort of and they're the ones banking at the strip clubs. It urks me when people play the race card - it's annoying.
Uh and the adult industry gives them an OUT to get out of their comfort zone so this doesn't make much sense. Everyone isn't racist. I have wealthy clients that aren't into hip hop but will tell me ooh turn the player to whatever you like. These men are willig to accommodate US. Why? Sex sells. We make them do what we want with our looks/ways -- that's how it works and not the other way around. I feel that the majority of the posts on this thread is misleading. If you're ugly/unattractive, men of ALL races won't be into you. simple.
I totally agree! Most men want a "getaway" from their ordinary life. It is refreshing for professional men, wealthy men, etc. that are always living "the appropriate" life that society mandates for them, to find that spark, fun, and adventure that they are missing from their "regular" lives.
I dated a man who was a stuck up, so serious and so " proper" when he was around his people, a pure asshole (just like all his friends in his circle). On his "normal" day to day, with his circle he will listen to jazz, instrumental classical music, etc. Oh boy, but he loved to pick me up and my girlfriends (2 of them gorgeous black ladies) and he was always ready for us to make him jam to hip hop, and club music. He would laugh, dance, go crazy, a total transformation!
I am Latina, and my rich white and Latin guy friends love my black girlfriends. Hey I had play matchmaker for them! A couple just practically fell head over heels over my black girlfriends as soon as they meet them. So not every white man is a racist.
Not because they are not attracted to you means that they are racist. Attraction is...a magnetism, you just can't control who you are attracted to. I am not attracted to bold headed guys or guys with beer bellies, but I have friends that have bold headed friends and friends with beer bellies , that does not mean I am discriminating, I am just not attracted to them.
I am not saying that there are no racist men out there. But you can't judge every white man as a racist.
vixenluv
04-10-2012, 01:58 PM
WOW this thread blew up...anyway I'm sorry if I offended any white people. I just came back from a cruise and a lot of the old white guys were on me like white on rice so I was certainly wrong about all white men not liking black chicks. HOWEVER one thing that irritates me, and perhaps I should know better by now, is that its very hard to have discussions about racism on sites like this or with white people period because SOME of you refuse to acknowledge white privilege and always have to find a way to blame the victim. "oh well you shouldn't be acting ghetto" " its his preference" SHUT UP! racism is fucking alive and real okay bitches?? >:(
Pottymouth101
04-10-2012, 02:44 PM
WOW this thread blew up...anyway I'm sorry if I offended any white people. I just came back from a cruise and a lot of the old white guys were on me like white on rice so I was certainly wrong about all white men not liking black chicks. HOWEVER one thing that irritates me, and perhaps I should know better by now, is that its very hard to have discussions about racism on sites like this or with white people period because SOME of you refuse to acknowledge white privilege and always have to find a way to blame the victim. "oh well you shouldn't be acting ghetto" " its his preference" SHUT UP! racism is fucking alive and real okay bitches?? >:(
This post is so wrong that its so right. You start off with an apology but half way through you changed you're mind and said fuck it!
slowpoke
04-10-2012, 02:54 PM
racism is fucking alive and real okay bitches??
So? People have a right to their opinions.
JoJoX
04-10-2012, 03:25 PM
i truly believe it is how you carry yourself and how you present yourself. a lot of old white men are attracted to me.
unfortunatly, when one thinks of a black or ethnic women- a lot of stereotypes come to mind. a wealthy white man will not respond to an ethnic woman who has a picture posted of theirselves in a ghetto position, outrageous weaves and not so classy outfit.
it is really how your present yourself.
Lady Xplicit18
04-10-2012, 04:42 PM
This thread is a waste of fucking time.
Kellydancer
04-10-2012, 04:57 PM
WOW this thread blew up...anyway I'm sorry if I offended any white people. I just came back from a cruise and a lot of the old white guys were on me like white on rice so I was certainly wrong about all white men not liking black chicks. HOWEVER one thing that irritates me, and perhaps I should know better by now, is that its very hard to have discussions about racism on sites like this or with white people period because SOME of you refuse to acknowledge white privilege and always have to find a way to blame the victim. "oh well you shouldn't be acting ghetto" " its his preference" SHUT UP! racism is fucking alive and real okay bitches?? >:(
Of course there is racism and yes some men (white and other races)seem to prefer white women. We've all seen the rich black man who then married a white women. However, some of the problems that black women (notice I said SOME?)deal with are their fault. I have seen some black women who refuse to take care of their bodies or allow men to take advantage of them, including having babies with men who don't value them enough to marry them. Yes all women deal with this issue, but it is more prevalent with non white women. And yes this is unpc to say but it is easier for an attractive classy black woman to make money than it is for one who doesn't look classy, but not always true with white women. I am not justifying racism and yes it is a problem in society but some people (of all races)don't better themselves.
rickdugan
04-10-2012, 07:22 PM
...HOWEVER one thing that irritates me, and perhaps I should know better by now, is that its very hard to have discussions about racism on sites like this or with white people period because SOME of you refuse to acknowledge white privilege and always have to find a way to blame the victim. "oh well you shouldn't be acting ghetto" " its his preference" SHUT UP! racism is fucking alive and real okay bitches?? >:(
This reminds me of a conversation I had with a dancer in a club in Queens about 5 years ago. To preface this, I am indeed one of those guys who has certain preferences, which run to the Italian and Latina varieties. With that in mind, the encounter went as follows:
A black dancer came up to me and asked if I was looking for company, to which I responded that I was not at the moment. Over the next hour or so, two different girls, one white and another Latina, spent some time with me. Later on, the first dancer came back around and once again asked if I was looking for company, to which I responded that I was not. She then plopped down in the seat next to me and started grilling me.
Her: If you are not looking for company, why did you let those other girls sit with you?
Me: Because I felt like it at those moments.
Her: Really? Is it because you don't like black girls?
Me: Well, if we have to get into this, I do have certain preferences.
Her: And what are those?
Me: I tend to like Latinas and Italian girls.
Her: Well, you don't even know my background.
Me: Ok, but do I really need to? I am looking for something else. Why is that such a problem for you?
Her: I think that you're racist.
Me: Think what you want. I like what I like. Sorry.
Her: Yup, you're racist. Oh, and by the way, I'm Cuban.
And then she stormed off.
Now I suppose that I can understand her frustration, but I just wasn't attracted to her. Idk, but this was a real WTF moment for me. Am I a racist simply because I'm not attracted to certain types of girls? Is that supposed to be some function of white privilege?
Now I'm not discounting the fact that racism still exists in certain facets of society, but I'm just not sure how one applies the concept to the laws of attraction.
Anyway, just my :twocents:
BlkSharpie
04-10-2012, 07:46 PM
Jeeeeez, its really all so wild really. I like blondes and gingers. Does that mean Im "reverse racist" because Im not into black men? Nope. Does that mean I think brunettes are bad in any way? Nope. Ive dated black men, and Ive dated brunettes...but Ill be honest and say that getting to know them, and their personality is what attracted me to them, but of the blondes I dated it was lust at first sight... I cant help it. My first best friend in nursery school was a blonde boy (they called us chocolate vanilla swirl cause we were always together lol), my first crush was a german exchange student. And gingers have no mercy with me...I cant stand my ex, but whenever I see him, I want to do dirty things to him so I completely avoid him. Who knows why or how or what the whole chemistry of attraction thing is, but acting like someone is racist because they have a preference is pretty crazy.
Personally, I would hate it if every single guy I came across was attracted to me....I have a hard enough time with the ones who are.... Id never be able to leave the house and get any errands done in peace...:D
Kellydancer
04-11-2012, 10:40 AM
Agree with both posts. I prefer dark men like Latins, Italians, Hispanic, etc yet blonde haired, pale skin men do nothing for me. I am dark haired, dark eyed and dark skin and guess what? many guys rejected me while dancing for this.
vixenluv
04-13-2012, 02:03 AM
*sigh* I have no problem with people who have "preferences". I know every black chick in the world isnt some underrated stunner that people are too stupid to appreciate. I GET IT. Some black women are fat, ghetto, and bald headed. I GET IT. However to try and compare your little preference for latinas or green eyes or whatever to racism is retarded. Just like you all have your opinions I have mine and that is anyone who cant find one single person of a different or their own race attractive is probably a undercover racist/psycho. Maybe I am just a bit more well traveled and cultured than some of you pink toes but I have seen pretty and ugly from all walks on life in all different shapes sizes colors and ages. I dont really like to hear people bash and call any group of people unattactive because i know its not true. Stop acting like I said every white man has to worship black women.
vixenluv
04-13-2012, 02:06 AM
and to any white folks reading this and thinking all black women are angry. kiss my ass.
SexyLyric
04-13-2012, 04:18 AM
My experience with wealthy white men is that they love me. I had a profile on wealthymen.com and 99% of my messages (and there were 5-10 a day) were from white men. Initially that made me uncomfortable because i've grown up in a predominantly black area and have never been around older white men. They have proven to be some of the best and most generous men I've met. Also in my dancing, 99% of my repeat and customers who $pend are white men.
I'm 5'5, 36D-29-44 ... so I'm a curvy girl too but they love it. I'd have to agree with the comments about the demographical area.