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View Full Version : Why do Asian women have a problem playing up their Asianess?



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GlitterBexie
03-14-2012, 11:36 AM
No i know, i was joking :P

But jeez, if you ever saw me straight out of the shower id never make any money, think "albino goth gollum" :D

I know what you mean with the fantasy thing, but as has been said, unless the dancer already owns an outfit like that posted above, or the customer in question is a big spender, the usual "stripper look" tends to work on a nightly basis and spending money (and dance outfits can be quite expensive) on one particular custys fetish would be the last thing on my mind to indulge the occasional request. :D

lestat1
03-14-2012, 11:38 AM
OP, look at it this way. You like the old school version. I happen to like the French and Final Fantasy versions. You want more kimonos, I want more Aerith cosplay (what, Sephiroth kills her and people stop dressing up? Never Forget!) Now, I will buy many dances, during which I "configure her materia," but that doesn't mean any one else would, unless she were working at ComicCon. So generally, catering to either one of us would be ignoring the masses. The dancers know what many men like. We only know we we like.

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cherryblossomsinspring
03-14-2012, 01:12 PM
Spare us the artistic aspect of dancing, not that you in particular were making that case but your job or roll in this fantasy is pretty clear. You provide us with sensorial stimuli for our individual spank banks and we pay you for it. Now there are times when we all will enjoy each others company but generally its your job to milk our wallets and dressing in a kimono is just one more way to pick the pocket of some creepy Asian fetish guy.

Spare Us? Who are you talking for? You directed your questions at me , I had no desire to talk to you in the least bit. My comments were for the op so there's that.

The " it's your job" yeah yeah but as contractors we work with what we feel like working with that day. If it's extra work that doesn't turn into $$$ then it's going to get passed over. Sorry to break that to you.


It may not work at your club but I have traveled around the world 3 times in the military and I am still traveling. I have been in strip joints all over the globe and unique sells and sells big in most cases that's all im saying. You may have allot of guys who barley part with a $20 in tips thru the night where you, that's not me. Find a new club or get a gimmick. I spend on what I like to see and whether you are genuine or just pulling a hustle on me it really doesn't matter as long as my perception is appealing to me after all I am the customer.

Ohh the traveling soldier? yeah ok well thanks to you being told like a good boy to go where you were asked, you got some time to meet the "locals" hopefully you got your 2nd or 3rd choice location over seas when you filled out that nice form.

Hustling? Yeah I've never had to do that personally. Just not my scene. I cam so I wear costumes and different outfits all the time, but that's because you can connect easier with the geeky fetishes online. Plus you have a larger number of men that can access your room from all over the world. But a hole in a wall dive? With beer nursings all night? Yeah I wouldn't risk bringing a Kimono in for some asshole to spill liquor on it etc etc. The SC typically may not be the right place for a man to appreciate such things. Oh were you talking about the kimono costume for $39.99 at a costume store?
Again Champagne tastes and Beer budgets don't work well with dancers in the SC that's why it's best to keep it simple and sexy for the majority of guys. If there's some Hentai convention nearby , then maybe you'll luck up.


I just got an email for another blue pager.
He says
"The problem with asian girls is once you have relations(edited) with one
You want another one 20 minutes later"


so true

Ohh and this little gem ( most likely made up by the poster) in his attempt to cite his frustrations for paying for company in the first place goes to add another reason why most wouldn't feel you were worth the effort. I hope that made you feel powerful.

Ohh one more thing sharp one, my name is based on me loving cherryblossoms, it has little to do with anything else. Sorry I couldn't be the (Chinese) American you wanted to insult. But I think you did an outstanding job trying! **pats big guy on back**

I purposely posted in this thread because I knew it would bring the asshole out that would direct his anger at me. Baited!!!! Really you made this so easy. :P:D

Coastie Joe
03-14-2012, 04:37 PM
I'm not mad at you cherryb and I'm not an asshole eith
er. You can call yourself a contractor or what ever other term you want to use, it doesn't matter only to you I guess. What I find amusing in your response is you say I have to pay for female company like that is a bad thing if I did. If its so bad for me to "have" to pay for a dance what are you saying about the person selling her self to me? Oh I get it you are a cam girl. So sellingthe fantasy on line make you a better person that the rest of us.

Coastie Joe
03-14-2012, 04:55 PM
At the end of the day its all the same thing and I expect nothing but a little entertainment and maybe a laugh or to from the "locals". Yea I travel shed they tell me and I have seen some amazing sites. I respect people for who they are until they give me a.reason not to. You on the other hand look down on the customers and sound like you have a chip on your shoulder, or maybe daddy issues, who knows. I guess if my fetish was being talked down to and gjudged by strippers oh I mean adult entertainment contractors you would win a permanent spot in the spank bank. Life to short sweety don't be a hater

GlitterBexie
03-14-2012, 05:08 PM
Coastie Joe,... Oh dear, you arn't going to win many fans talking like that here.

For the most part (in my opinion, as we have gone off subject slightly) is that customers are customers, whatever reason they are there for i couldnt care less, as long as they are spending money, customer = transaction. Whether you as a customer like it or not, its part of our job to judge each person who enters the building, judging if they are going to be a weirdo, grabby, judgemental to us about our chosen job, outfit, body, face, how we look, if they have money and if they are going to spend said money and how much bullshit we are going to have to put up with in order to extract that money from them, each dancer is different and i would never presume to speak for any other.. but generally speaking, i dont care what the individual customer thinks, as long as the money ends up in the same place...my garter.

MyButter
03-14-2012, 05:34 PM
Out here at least, there are soooo many freakin military guys married to off-the-boat Asians, so it is difficult for me to believe that the OP is the only person in the world with this particular fetish.

Coastie Joe
03-14-2012, 05:40 PM
Well said Glitter. I apreciate your honesty. I know how it works, its how it has to work. If only "nice guys" chose to visit the local pole dance emporium its safe to say there would be allot fewer BMW covertibles in the open all night Wallmart at 3:00 am on a Wednesday morning in Hobucken North Carolina.

Coastie Joe
03-14-2012, 05:45 PM
Mybutter I agree. I have scene that allot as well. Some countries are just such so poor and many of these women see a service man as her ticket out,that's not always the case.but it does happen more frequently in the military. I guess its location,location,location

MyButter
03-14-2012, 05:49 PM
^true this!

GlitterBexie
03-14-2012, 06:28 PM
Well said Glitter. I apreciate your honesty. I know how it works, its how it has to work. If only "nice guys" chose to visit the local pole dance emporium its safe to say there would be allot fewer BMW covertibles in the open all night Wallmart at 3:00 am on a Wednesday morning in Hobucken North Carolina.

Don't get me wrong, ive met a lot of nice guys in the SC, but as soon as im at work, they are just customers. Ive said to many a nice guy who couldnt pay "Im sorry, but time is money" if i met them in a normal club im sure (before i met my SO) i would have been more likely to chat etc, but work is work, and i dont go there to socialise, im there to earn a living. But nice guys in a strip club usually means one thing...easy target. I dont lead customers on though, if they ask, i will always disclose that i have a (large, muscled) boyfriend who collects me after work, cause it gets really freaking weird and scary when you leave the club at the end of a shift and they are waiting outside!

Coastie Joe
03-14-2012, 07:23 PM
Right on Glitterb. I kind of do the same thing as you when I go to the local SC, just from the other prospective. I know I'm a Mark when I'm paying the cover and I get that first whiff of hot stripper scent. It's hard to describe I guess but when the sweet stripper smell hits our nostrils, it causes a chain reaction. Our bodies start to pump blood to our lower extremites, and change our perception of reality and ourselves kind of like the movie with Jack Black except the hot chick doesn't turn into a Rino. The hot chick stays hot in my movie, and although we never consumate our relationship, we had fun

luvbuniz
02-14-2013, 08:12 AM
:-* I usually get by with the whole Chinese girl from England thing but I do FOB it up with 'yellow fever' guys, alpha males, foreigners, Germans. With a young, frat boy crowd, during NASCAR and when an English accent might sound too complicated/intimidating - my SF bay 'California' accent suffices. }:D

Sophia_Starina
02-14-2013, 11:55 AM
Can anyone..... ANYONE... explain the Asian Fetish to me?

Can anyone explain the (Insert Ethnicity Here) Fetish to me? Please?


I've never factored race into the attractiveness equation... I'm really equal opportunity in terms of ethnicity.... and I'm extremely focussed on humor, intelligence, and personality.

I've had crushes on all sorts of guys, dated all sorts of guys, and adore anyone who's nice, smart, and funny.

yoda57us
02-14-2013, 12:10 PM
^ Explain it? Hell no! While I admit to a preference for Asian and South American women over the last ten or so years I've never thought of it as a fetish, merely a preference. That being said, I've got Asian and Brazilian friends who work in the sex industry (escorting, dancing and dom work) who have told me some very bizarre stories about some of their clients.

Being attractive and in my preferred age bracket is important to me-call me shallow-but having a sense of humor, intelligence and not taking yourself too seriously are the attributes that will really get my attention no matter where you happen to be from...

Sophia_Starina
02-14-2013, 12:19 PM
I only used the word fetish because (OYO) used that word.... No offense.


I like many guys have an Asian fetish, although unlike others i'm not afraid to admit it.

yoda57us
02-14-2013, 01:22 PM
^ and no offense taken! I never agreed much with the OP's point of view though I think "fetish" probably is a good description for his particular situation.

Sophia_Starina
02-14-2013, 04:38 PM
So... can anyone explain this? Whats up with fetishes based on race/ethnicity?

vivianbear
02-14-2013, 06:17 PM
So... can anyone explain this? Whats up with fetishes based on race/ethnicity?

Race-based fetishes are typically born out of a racist ideal of Euro-centric views on what behaviors ethic people should or shouldn't carry. Not just white people are ethnic fetishists but the fetishes themselves tend to be ones that were originated and fostered by whites to project how they'd ideally like people of color to model themselves, socially, in relation to whites. I get this shit a lot, being Brazilian-born and visibly Latina. Some fetishes about my ethnicity and nationality include: loves to party, can instinctively dance, is extremely sexual, can be "spicy"/defiant/bossy, is automatically more sociable and sexy and receptive to others. These are just a few I can come up with, off the top of my head. I could probably look up even more but I don't feel like throwing myself into a depressive tailspin of self-loathing and anger. That could make me get into all kinds of Nat Turner-esque trouble.

I know we, as workers, discuss race-play and finacially exploiting racist aspects of our customers fantasies. Personally, I can't/won't participate in a lot of it, but I absolutely understand how and why a worker would build that into her repertoire. As a woman of color and (Brazilian) Latina, I've participated on a number of levels but I still have my personal boundaries. Race-based fantasies can be very triggering for me, emotionally. Sure, I might be turning down some money when I object to go in a certain direction with a customer's fantasies but it's all in my own best interests for self-preservation. I leave it to myself to find other, more imaginative ways to captivate the customer, rather than fixate on a one-dimensional, false representation of myself, as a person. Again, I may be selling my time and sexuality but above all, I am putting my person-hood on display and I deserve some kind of decency. I'm in the camp of having literally no ethnic preferences so I absolutely do not understand why people such as the OP will fixate on ethnic (remember, guys, race doesn't exist. It's a social construct.) specificities to such a degree. I've certainly come in contact with people that do and direct it at me but I don't often reciprocate, even for large sums of money. Whomever wants to project that kind of expectation on me will do it whether or not I want to involve myself. That's another dehumanizing aspect of ethnic stereotyping; we tend not to have control over those who insist on using our color to objectify us.

I just had to enter this convo because I genuinely don't think the OP understand how mentally and emotionally exhausting playing up to his racist/ethnic stereotypes can be. He just thinks that ethnicity and culture are something we can just turn on and off or use like a tool in whatever context is easiest, at the time. Women of color (and most women, really) are forced to act out roles that we don't identify with or relate to nearly every single day of our lives. We spend all of our time negotiating an ethnic/sexual identity that so many (white/male) people will simply blow off because it isn't convenient or sexy or friendly to look at us as people with control over determining for ourselves what is a truthful representation of our identities. The OP is acting out of selfishness and I am inclined to agree with others who have stated that it's likely he simply can't afford to negotiate terms with a worker who is willing to take on this exhausting role for him at a cost that is most fair to her. He can't afford to meet her terms as she puts a value on her own identity's stereotype and falsification. Therefore, he obviously doesn't deserve to indulge in the fantasy.

invibe
02-14-2013, 10:44 PM
So... can anyone explain this? Whats up with fetishes based on race/ethnicity?

Vivianbear said it pretty well. For some guys I think they like the "fantasy" of the deferential and submissive. I have only been to Okinawa and Tokyo but I think OP would be surprised to see what real Japanese girls in their 20s are actually like lol.

simone87
02-14-2013, 11:11 PM
is it bad that, as a female (with no ulterior motives or stereotypes) i find japanese, chinese, thai, cambodian,etc women to be gorgeous ??
not to say i wouldn't find a beautiful latina, african, or norwegian woman stunning too, but sometimes its just personal preference for certain pyhsical attributes. a lot of guys buy into the whole "asian women are submissive and walk ten paces behind their husband" bullshit, and that is wrong, yes.

Kessler
02-15-2013, 02:05 PM
^ I'm in the same boat. I'm attracted to women of certain ethnicities more than others. It's not a racial thing, just a personal preference. It's similar to finding a certain body type or facial type attractive. Recently, I noticed that I go fucking crazy for girls with a certain type of facial shape. I have no fucking clue why. It just is.

I think what set people off initially, including myself, was the tone of the OPs post and not knowing the difference between the fantasy he was asking for (what vivianbear referenced) and the reality. Anytime you tell someone to "play up their race", shit gets dicey.

invibe
02-15-2013, 08:15 PM
I have a pretty specific type although it is more of a size/look thing and not a race that is impossible to explain or rationalize so I know what you mean. On the subject of Asian girls what is way hotter imo is when they have an accent that you aren't expecting like French or from the UK when they speak English. That is kind of true in general though. Yeah I'm weird like that.

whirlerz
02-16-2013, 02:23 AM
I've only read 1 page so far, but. LMAO @ this thread!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::smiley_or

Kessler
02-16-2013, 07:53 AM
On the subject of Asian girls what is way hotter imo is when they have an accent that you aren't expecting like French or from the UK when they speak English. That is kind of true in general though. Yeah I'm weird like that.

A few months ago, I met a half-Japanese, half-caucasian girl who had an Aussie accent. Sooooo hot.

whirlerz
02-21-2013, 10:39 PM
Is this what you mean by speaking with an Asian accent?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12tce-THLUE

cracking me up!

MyButter
02-24-2013, 08:46 AM
I totally agree with that. Kimono in a STRIP CLUB is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

Oh man, I lovvvee wearing my embroidered vintage Harori at work. It's super warm, the fabric moves so well while Im wearing it on stage, It's easy to take off aaaaaand best of all, I can stash stuff in my sleeves^^ I so want to get a furisode next...

GingerLin
06-27-2013, 11:27 PM
I used to work with an Asian girl that totally played up the accent, smile and even somehow made her eyes squintier....lol.. If was kind of funny working with her because she spoke perfect English but out on the floor you'd never know. She was the stereotypical Asian for the guys. The only thing she didn't do was put her hands together and bow...lol.. Needless to say, the guys ate it up and she banked.


May I ask the club location? I am in NY now and will stay here, but still curious about where an Asian could bank by "playing up" asian--I am the traditional asian imigrant...thought no one liked asian asian

GingerLin
06-27-2013, 11:33 PM
The OP is kind of right. I love Asian women and I dont care where they are from meaning they can be from China, Japan Korea It really doesnt matter. As long as they are exotic and hot as most asian dancers are its all good. The whole
"love you long time" is not the fantasy we or I desire, its the hot asian girl with maybe an accent that is the turn on.
If you are and asian dancer and do not play into this fantasy I think you are leaving money on the table.
Its all about selling the fantasy Right????? Thats what most of the dancers say so why not sell the Asian Fantasy

I am a 1st generation Asian, immigrant, but when I play up Asian, nobody, literally no customer wanted to talk to me!

GingerLin
06-27-2013, 11:35 PM
where is the SC? I would love to see how it goes

rickdugan
06-28-2013, 08:22 AM
May I ask the club location? I am in NY now and will stay here, but still curious about where an Asian could bank by "playing up" asian--I am the traditional asian imigrant...thought no one liked asian asian

Ginger, kaia has been banned from the board for some time, but I am going to weigh in fwiw.

You have been all over this board in the last week essentially stating that a lot of guys don't seem to like Asian dancers. You are basing this assertion upon your own very limited experiences thus far as a dancer. Honestly, this runs very counter to my experiences, particularly in NY. Now yes, not every guy likes Asian girls, but there are plenty out there who do and you are now working in one of the most cosmopolitan areas in the country.

I am not trying to be mean in any way when I ask this, but do you think that your hustle might be the real problem rather than the fact that you're Asian? Idk. There is certainly demand for hot Asian dancers and very limited supply (I've always suspected due to cultural factors), so I'm honestly struggling to understand how you are coming to those conclusions.

In any event, good luck!

GingerLin
06-28-2013, 09:21 AM
Ginger, kaia has been banned from the board for some time, but I am going to weigh in fwiw.

You have been all over this board in the last week essentially stating that a lot of guys don't seem to like Asian dancers. You are basing this assertion upon your own very limited experiences thus far as a dancer. Honestly, this runs very counter to my experiences, particularly in NY. Now yes, not every guy likes Asian girls, but there are plenty out there who do and you are now working in one of the most cosmopolitan areas in the country.

I am not trying to be mean in any way when I ask this, but do you think that your hustle might be the real problem rather than the fact that you're Asian? Idk. There is certainly demand for hot Asian dancers and very limited supply (I've always suspected due to cultural factors), so I'm honestly struggling to understand how you are coming to those conclusions.

In any event, good luck!

I guess when a dancer tries to figure out reasons that she doesnt bank, she tends to throw in all the possibilities. My hustling skill is an issue and I am working on it~~ rthanks so much, LOL

BlasianBytch
06-28-2013, 03:06 PM
I don't really have the option of playing up my Asianness because I'm also Black, but I don't entertain ethnic fetish because I don't feel comfortable being a thing. I can't take off my ethnicity at the end of the night. I feel I already made a non consensual participate in the ethic fetish of so many people that I have no desire to ever be.

yoda57us
06-29-2013, 11:01 AM
I guess when a dancer tries to figure out reasons that she doesnt bank, she tends to throw in all the possibilities. My hustling skill is an issue and I am working on it~~ rthanks so much, LOL

It will definitely serve you better in the long run to examine all possibilities if you are not happy with your current income at work. Three or four of my all time favorite dancers are Asian (all first generation immigrants to the USA) and all have, at times, benefited from their ethnicity or lost business because of it. There are a lot of things you can change about yourself but you can't change where you came from. Your approach will generally go further in increasing your earning potential than anything else. Of course there are guys who don't like Asian girls just as there are those who don't like black girls, Brazilian girls, Hispanic girls, blond hair, dark hair, red hair, tall girls, short girls, curvy girls, skinny girls, girls with tats, girls who are shaved, girls who aren't shaved and so on and so on.

I have my own set of preferences but I have spent money on girls against my "type" many times simply based on their approach and ability to make me feel comfortable with them. They may never become a regular girl for me but, on that night, they got a lot of my money. Last week I saw a post on a local board from a guy complaining that he liked Hispanic girls and all he could find at a particular club were skinny white girls. The next post was from a guy who wanted directions to the club that the first guy was complaining about. He was tired of seeing nothing but Hispanic girls and was looking for skinny white girls...

Jade62013
07-23-2013, 05:54 AM
I'm Asian.

Guys who mention my race are almost always rude, offensive bastards.

I'm not oversensitive about my race but I was born and raised in the USA, I can't speak my native language or even use chopsticks so am I really that Asian? *Shrug*

Jade62013
07-23-2013, 05:57 AM
Lolololol