View Full Version : So are customers cheating on their partners when they cum for us? *poll*
HaydenBlue
04-18-2012, 07:40 PM
Wow.
Um. No.
Not all men. I'm not saying that my relationship/husband are the norm but not only would he not mind me having a having a stash of interracial porn he didn't mind when I performed in it. In fact when I got back from shooting a interracial gang bang he joked about wanting to fuck me and then reassured me that he knew I must be sore and he wasn't expecting to fuck that night. Then he gave me a back rub and we cuddled.
I wouldn't consider him getting off to cam girls cheating but if he was spending much money on it I would regard it as irresponsible spending. But then I also consider spending too much money at starbucks to be irresponsible when money is tight.
Wow I'm still just a little floored that you think all men are so insecure. I know I'm pretty damn lucky but it's sad you're so jaded.
On a slightly different tangent the guys in my room last night started talking about how I was prettier than their wives and then two started trash talking their wives looks. It made me really uncomfortable but someone took me private before I could say anything about it.
Ultimately relationships need to be based on mutual respect and trust. Relationships are a lot of work and require constant attention and communication. I think if within the confines of a relationship two people decide that they consider something to be 'cheating' then it is. Plain as that. But they have to work hard and communicate their desires and expectations in the first place.
Hi. I think I love you. <3
ChainsawWhore
10-02-2013, 04:54 PM
I'd just like to say I would be pissed...he should be spending that money on me!!! Haha. I think most guys I can with definitely keep it from their partners. It's harmless IMHO. Randomly bumping this topic.
annikah
10-02-2013, 06:50 PM
I don't think I'm doing anything but echoing what a lot of other girls have said, but I think that the line in the sand varies with each relationship, and it really isn't my place to worry about where the boundaries are for my customers.
In my own relationships, I don't think watching a cam girl is cheating. I would actually be very okay with it. But I feel that anything done behind my back and hidden from me with great effort is, even if it isn't sexual in nature.
Procrasturbator
10-02-2013, 07:35 PM
Like others have said, it depends on the terms of their relationship. Relationships are contracts. If one person says something is cheating, it's cheating. If a girl tells her boyfriend that (extreme example) she doesn't want him even talking to other girls and he agrees not to talk to other girls (or hides it from her/implies that he'll abide by her boundaries to reap the benefits of the relationship) then that's cheating in the context of their relationship.
I will say that most guys on cam seem to actively hide it from their SO, which implies that their SO would consider it cheating, or at least inappropriate.
JoJoX
10-02-2013, 07:39 PM
It really bugs me when sex workers become moral police. It's none of our business. Second, it's kinda like asking "Is masturbating cheating?" It's just masturbation- no sex, no kissing, no touching, no relations- it's masturbating to porn on the internet.
gummy
10-02-2013, 11:30 PM
To me cheating is mental as well as physical because a good relationship is held together by emotional and physical health. Depending on the agreements of the relationship it varies. But in a classic couple I would say that if a man starts seeking us camgirls or porno videos in REPLACEMENT to his wife or girlfriend or boyfriend, whatever, he's cheating. We're not the ones he should be thinking about having sex with it should be his partner. There's a difference between getting off and making it personal delusional through fantasies.
I mean I watch porn and I don't think much of the porn stars I just use the stuff as jerk off material and be done with, haha.
I'm not saying he should dehumanise us - but he should be able to separate us from reality. He is nothing to me and I am nothing to him mentality.
Either way like many of the other ladies said it not our business. :s
Sunnylexie
10-03-2013, 12:11 AM
IMO, it depends on what the customers themselves and their partners think it to be (and what they think of it is none of my business and concern unless it's a part of a fetish roleplay).
JaneBurgess
10-03-2013, 07:01 PM
Some guy actually asked me this on Streamate. I personally don't see it as cheating, but other people might.
magicgembliss
12-14-2017, 01:21 PM
Most men couldn't handle it and from my experience "playing fair" almost destroyed my relationships
I always wonder what the point is of a relationship that lacks fairness. To me, logic/fairness is the key thing I want in a man. Big penises be damned LOL.
I know this is an old post but I lovedlovedLOVED your post, cherryblossoms! Leave those DVDs around the house haha...or hide them in a drawer where you know he will go to looking for something soon. Surprise surprise! LOL
sweetandnaughty
12-14-2017, 02:31 PM
I so don't honestly give a full I could care less!
Cutie101
12-14-2017, 08:34 PM
I see it as cheating. Actually it would hurt my soul, deep inside, knowing he is going to spend money on a real girl and chat with her, maybe fall for her, every night. Actually, is same thing like flirting on facebook with a lady. It's real interaction, you are there for that person, to get her attention.
It's not like watching porn, where there is no live interaction.
In my case, as a camgirl, I see it as business, I do my job, I put no feelings. I don't think about my customers once I turn off the PC.
But, that's just me. Every person has own confort zone in a relationship.
AuroraJade
12-15-2017, 01:51 AM
It depends right?
Taking a pvt/tipping into a show now and then to blow off some steam -> not cheating
Taking the same girl exclusive every night, dropping huge tips on her, telling her everything about you, talking for hours straight -> cheating
seashell
12-15-2017, 03:33 AM
I think that for the most part, customers see us as objects (hence all the trolls and assholes), so I wouldn’t consider it cheating from THEIR perspective. Some guys do get emotionally attached, and that crosses boundaries for sure.
From a woman’s perspective, I can see how it would be upsetting. While we cam (or do other forms of sex work) to pay our bills, these guys are voluntarily giving their money to other women, who they apparently find more desirable at that moment than their SO. I think it’s instinctual to see that as cheating. Whether it is or not, I would not tolerate an SO doing that. Like others have said, it’s different from watching premade porn, which can be free and has no interaction.
TheBrownFox
12-15-2017, 04:32 PM
I think that for the most part, customers see us as objects (hence all the trolls and assholes), so I wouldn’t consider it cheating from THEIR perspective. Some guys do get emotionally attached, and that crosses boundaries for sure.
From a woman’s perspective, I can see how it would be upsetting. While we cam (or do other forms of sex work) to pay our bills, these guys are voluntarily giving their money to other women, who they apparently find more desirable at that moment than their SO. I think it’s instinctual to see that as cheating. Whether it is or not, I would not tolerate an SO doing that. Like others have said, it’s different from watching premade porn, which can be free and has no interaction.
Yes. I like how you explained it, seashell. :)
And a lot of these guys are probably really cheating on their girlfriends/wives IRL too. We know these men can't keep it in their pants...
Sorry, I'm in a mood. Lol.
ThornyAndHot
12-15-2017, 11:34 PM
To me, cheating has always been crossing the boundaries of a relationship. In my opinion, a healthy relationship would talk out the boundaries of using sex worker services and porn. My current boyfriend came with me for an amateur night (my first time dancing ever), and I told him I would be totally OK if he wanted to come back to one of these by himself. He is legitimately not interested, but he would not be cheating in our relationship if he changes his mind.
My first boyfriend was taken to Hooters the day after we started dating. The picture of him is hilarious, surrounded by waitresses looking like a deer in the headlights. He came to me, profusely apologizing and stressing out that I was going to be mad. He didn't believe me when I said I don't care. I didn't, and really still don't.
It didn't come up in my two other relationships, and I wouldn't honestly need them to get permission first. I think I'd hope for them to get a lap dance so they can tell me the nitty gritty details, because the two lap dances in my life were pretty bad because I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. Hearing an account from a man I was dating would be immensely helpful (also didn't do research beforehand, and I really should have).
I don't think I'd care if they used virtual cam models. I would voice if I changed my mind, and would trust partners to stop if needed. So, to me, as long as it's with a sex worker who doesn't actually offer sex (which I know is not something I need to worry about with cam models), it's not cheating. Just another form of porn they could choose to enjoy. But, the guys I've dated see no reason in spending on cam girls because of all the free porn that's out there for them to wank to.
DeepThoughts
12-18-2017, 07:42 AM
This is such an interesting poll!
for me its cheating. 1 because I said no, clearly and early on. 2 because $$
Thats my relationship and I dont feel torn because I fuck and cam with lots and lots of other men for a living. I was clear from day one that if my fucking other men ment he got to watch/fuck other women then I wasnt doing it cause Im not okay with it. I love escorting, porn and camming and I hate doing it with girls I only want cock. I also expect my husband to be 101% loyal to me at all times unless I say so (cause sometimes I have him jump in on a shoot or gangbang or something). If I ever found out he payed for a camgirl I would leave him!
miss.a.p1600
12-18-2017, 09:06 AM
I think like mentioned in prior posts - it depends.
I would consider it cheating if the viewers partner did not know that time/money was being spent this way.
hyori
12-18-2017, 01:56 PM
Yes, it's cheating if your significant other is paying for time with a cam model behind your back without your knowledge. Why are they hiding it? It's obvious they know it's cheating and feel guilty.
That said, if he/she is cheating, she/he was never yours to begin with and/or the relationship hasn't defined clear limitations of what would constitute cheating. I know a hetero couple who believe being in a car with the opposite sex is cheating and they enforce a rule that they are never to be in that situation. Then on the other side of the spectrum are swingers and poly amorous relationships where cam models are completely insignificant to their definition of cheating.
Sam38g
12-18-2017, 02:38 PM
Their private lives are NONE of my business. My private life is NONE of their business.
This is a discussion between them & their partner & how they feel about it. In a relationship the person you are in & how they feel rather than anyone else is what relationships are all about. Both should be fully informed of all the facts and for them to work it all out.
In my twenties while getting my hair cut, dicussing how my bestie was a clean freak & always cleaned house in the nude to keep from getting her clothes dirty. Found that a good idea. A woman in her 50s was listening, spoke up & said how my friend can come clean her house in the nude & her husband could even watch. All she cared about was having a clean house that she didn't have to do all the work.
Maybe some wives don't want to be responsible and do the work for every orgasm their husband has........
miss.a.p1600
12-18-2017, 02:46 PM
Maybe some wives don't want to be responsible and do the work for every orgasm their husband has........
This would be me right here....Like if i am totally not in the mood for whatever but my partner has a sex drive way higher than me I would be open to my partner watching porn or seeing cam models shows - I'd actually prefer digital stimulation than in person getting lapdances in strip club but thats just me though
Girl Anachronism
12-18-2017, 03:57 PM
interesting topic. this is why i asked recently how other dancers feel about their boyfriends getting lap dances.
every relationship is different. once it becomes exclusive then boundaries should be discussed. after that... if you do anything romantic or sexual that you aren't honest with them about then i think that's cheating. lap dances, cam shows, escorts, IRL one night stands. everyone has different boundaries. esp in this biz. it's only wrong if it's not discussed and you are sneaking around. so yeah if they're jerking to cam girls and their wife doesn't know and would be hurt then it's cheating IMO
WendiStarr
12-27-2017, 07:05 AM
Well, it could be considered cheating if their significant others didn't know about it. Seeing as how the majority of my customers are married, I hold no harsh judgement against them for it. As long as they are paying me for my time and discretion, I don't care what their marital status is. I know that might sound shady but when it all comes down to it, I don't want any of those men or love them. I have zero interest in stealing away anyone's husband or boyfriend. It's just business.
Sam38g
12-28-2017, 10:01 AM
No ones forces them into strip clubs, onto porn sites or to watch cam girls. People have been cheating on their mates since the beginning of time. They also will cheat on you with your so-called best friend, co-workers, nanny, maid and anyone else.
It is NOT up to others to keep your mate from cheating. Cheating is done on purpose NOT on accident.
Going to need a lot more money & lots of chasity belts for men to be a baby sitter for full grown men to keep them from cheating on their wives.
EricaErotica
12-28-2017, 11:15 AM
I find that most Americans have very puritanical and naïve views on sex, relationships, and marriage. When done correctly, affairs and cheating actually help keep marriages intact. Virtual cheating is one of the best ways to have safe extramarital affairs and liaisons. If your encounters stay online there is absolutely no risk of contracting a disease and spreading this disease to your partner.
Many of you have not been in very long term relationships or seen your parents in very long term relationships. I have been married for 20 years. I started dating my husband when I was 19 years old. I am now 41 years old. I have been with my husband for OVER half my life. My parents have been married 44 years. My mother has been with my father for 70 percent of her life. That's OVER two-thirds of her life! The reality is that to stay married for 20, 30, 40, and 50 years to someone you need variety every once in awhile. Sorry, but you just do. One person cannot satisfy all of your needs. That is simply impossible. I speak from personal experience.
EricaErotica
12-28-2017, 11:42 AM
Also as men and women age things happen with hormones and biochemistry that impact sexual performance. People develop medical conditions that prevent them from having sex. For some people as they age sex can be dangerous and their doctors even advise them against having sexual relations. So if you stay married to someone long enough, the chances are very high where one partner might not be able to have sex or might not be able to enjoy sex like they once did before. Are you supposed to live without sexual fulfillment and suffer? Are you supposed to divorce someone who you love and care for just because the sex is lacking? No. Just find someone online who you can have casual sex with on a virtual basis.
Sam38g
12-28-2017, 12:46 PM
I find that most Americans have very puritanical and naïve views on sex, relationships, and marriage. When done correctly, affairs and cheating actually help keep marriages intact. Virtual cheating is one of the best ways to have safe extramarital affairs and liaisons. If your encounters stay online there is absolutely no risk of contracting a disease and spreading this disease to your partner.
Many of you have not been in very long term relationships or seen your parents in very long term relationships. I have been married for 20 years. I started dating my husband when I was 19 years old. I am now 41 years old. I have been with my husband for OVER half my life. My parents have been married 44 years. My mother has been with my father for 70 percent of her life. That's OVER two-thirds of her life! The reality is that to stay married for 20, 30, 40, and 50 years to someone you need variety every once in awhile. Sorry, but you just do. One person cannot satisfy all of your needs. That is simply impossible. I speak from personal experience.
You are making lots of assumptions about everyone here & our parents. Which I do NOT appreciate at all.
Marriage is slavery & destructive to women created by religions written by men. Men can't keep from getting shit stains in every pair of underwear they own.
EricaErotica
12-28-2017, 01:36 PM
Over half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. Your average marriage in the United States lasts only 8.2 years. I am not making assumptions. Those are the statistics based on the United States Census.
Your views on marriage are entirely your assumptions and opinions. I'm not even going to argue with that. I only debate facts.
You are making lots of assumptions about everyone here & our parents. Which I do NOT appreciate at all.
Marriage is slavery & destructive to women created by religions written by men. Men can't keep from getting shit stains in every pair of underwear they own.
hyori
12-28-2017, 02:55 PM
When done correctly, affairs and cheating actually help keep marriages intact. Virtual cheating is one of the best ways to have safe extramarital affairs and liaisons.
Unfortunately, this is absolutely true. Marriage, by law and definition is just a contract between two people who decide to share their assets, how they define the marriage is between the two individuals. If they agree to have consensual affairs than that is fair as long as both are in the know and don't feel any kind of "betrayal" than that is completely fine and even lawful. It's when one party decides to change the definition of the marriage that things start to go awry.
hyori
12-28-2017, 03:03 PM
You are making lots of assumptions about everyone here & our parents. Which I do NOT appreciate at all.
Marriage is slavery & destructive to women created by religions written by men. Men can't keep from getting shit stains in every pair of underwear they own.
Being in a long term relationship for more than two years is seen as a marriage in the eyes of the law. Protect your assets and never buy large ticket items jointly with anyone. It's pretty much common sense for any long term relationship whether it is a friendship or common law.
magicgembliss
12-29-2017, 08:17 PM
Over half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. Your average marriage in the United States lasts only 8.2 years. I am not making assumptions. Those are the statistics based on the United States Census.
Yet according to your experiences, you and all the people you know have been married way longer than that. Your points are inconsistent.
magicgembliss
12-29-2017, 08:19 PM
Are you supposed to divorce someone who you love and care for just because the sex is lacking? No. Just find someone online who you can have casual sex with on a virtual basis.
But who the hell are you to tell anyone "no"? Who the hell are you to be telling anyone decisions they should make? Why assume everyone is the same and needs the same things? They don't. People are VERY different from each other. Haven't you learned that by now?
EricaErotica
12-30-2017, 06:33 AM
You misread my point. My point is that most Americans DO NOT know what is like to be in a 20, 30, or 40 year marriage. Most Americans DO NOT have parents who have been in 20, 30, or 40 year marriages. I then cite United States Census data to back my point.
Also, I was born in the United States of America, but culturally I am NOT American. My parents are immigrants. My husband is an immigrant as well. The reason why most of the people I know probably have stayed married is because we are not American. We just happen to live in America. We have different cultural, social, and religious values than most Americans do.
Yet according to your experiences, you and all the people you know have been married way longer than that. Your points are inconsistent.
EricaErotica
12-30-2017, 06:43 AM
Not even sure why you are getting overly emotional about my statements. Again you are misreading my statements. My point here is that when couples have been married for 20, 30, 40, or 50 years there can be hormonal, biochemical, and chronic health issues with one or both partners that prevent them from having fulfilling sex. Have you had a spouse deal with cancer? Have you had a spouse deal with an organ transplant? My parents have dealt with both in their 44 year marriage. I do not know if either of my parents have cheated. That is none of my business. If I DID find out that one or both of my parents has cheated I would completely understand though. When a couples relationship is negatively impacted by a health crisis there is usually NO SEX going on. In these situations often the couple agrees to allow extramarital affairs. My point in ALL this is that if a person is going to be having an affair keep it online. No risk of contracting diseases and other dangers that are hazardous to one's health.
But who the hell are you to tell anyone "no"? Who the hell are you to be telling anyone decisions they should make? Why assume everyone is the same and needs the same things? They don't. People are VERY different from each other. Haven't you learned that by now?