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TheBrownFox
04-06-2012, 04:13 PM
Unfortunately, these threads (about camming while living w/parents) always end up being trainwrecked when a few people get a little too preachy with their responses. Fellow cam girls getting all up in each other's business...making assumptions...arguing about what IS and ISN'T right.

I sure hope y'all don't end up scaring off Marie.

ManyRoses
04-06-2012, 04:31 PM
Sorry, but I thought this forum was for discussing ideas, as well as giving straight up factual information - not just a place to pat each other on the back ALL the time. (although, yes, it's great for that too).

I always try not to get personal, or mean or nasty with my opinions, (and feel free to call me out if you think I ever am) but I would still like to be able to give them without being called preachy. Or being told that I am "up in someone's business". Nope. This is what I think as a general opinion. Open to debate, not personal, and willing to discuss.

I guess that some people just want to be told that everything is ok all the time, and that everyone agrees with them. What a shame - I LIKE being able to discuss, and hear different ideas.

TheBrownFox
04-06-2012, 04:39 PM
Sorry, but I thought this forum was for discussing ideas, as well as giving straight up factual information - not just a place to pat each other on the back ALL the time. (although, yes, it's great for that too).

I always try not to get personal, or mean or nasty with my opinions, (and feel free to call me out if you think I ever am) but I would still like to be able to give them without being called preachy. Or being told that I am "up in someone's business". Nope. This is what I think as a general opinion. Open to debate, not personal, and willing to discuss.

I guess that some people just want to be told that everything is ok all the time, and that everyone agrees with them. What a shame - I LIKE being able to discuss, and hear different ideas.




Now see...there you go. How did I know you would be the first one to respond to my post? LOL.

And Incantatious posted about her situation because she wanted to show the OP that she can relate. That does not mean it's okay for you to suddenly start jumping on Incantatious.

Did I say anything about patting each other on the back? No, I did not. You are being way too confrontational in this thread, ManyRoses. You probably don't mean to be, but that's how you're coming across to me. You don't need to go back and forth with everything I say either.

This forum is for discussing ideas...not to make a fellow cam girl feel like shit because she's in a not-so-ideal living situation.

SMH at all the drama on here lately. I wonder if that's part of the reason we've got so many lurkers hesitant to make their first post.

ManyRoses
04-06-2012, 04:55 PM
Sigh. I feel like I am damned either way right now. If I continue to attempt to defend myself when people are directly quoting me and talking to me (as Incantatious originally did, which is WHY I responded. If people reply directly to something I have said, I like to respond to that. I think it encourages further discussion, as long as people don't get rude) then I will be told that I shouldn't be, and that I am jumping on people. If I say nothing, then I have no way to defend myself.

I have tried to be fairly polite about how I feel, and give a perspective that hasn't been given. I had no intention of making ANYONE "feel like shit", just to consider all angles. And if I WAS trying to make people feel bad, I would probably not make an effort to apologize for derailing things, and repeat over and over that everyone is free to do whatever they want, and that I am just stating an opinion.

That said, this thread has started to make me feel attacked, so I'm done with it. Sorry for feeling like I could agree with another camgirl and reply to people quoting me.

TheBrownFox
04-06-2012, 05:15 PM
ManyRoses, please stop making yourself out to be the attacked one. The only people in this thread who have been attacked are the women who admitted that they live with their parents. As soon as those women admitted this, vivianbear started up with her little rant (her post was the most offensive one of all), and then you had to chime in and get all in Incantatious' business (asking her "WHY THE HELL DO YOU DO THIS AND THAT?") and make the thread all about her.

I guess this is what happens when a cam girl opens up to you all about something personal (living w/parents). She gets jumped on and judged. Cam girls are all in the same boat in at least one way...we are all trying to make money working from home being our own boss. So maybe instead of being all "OMG, you live with your parents? That's WRONG!," we can add something positive to the thread.

I have to run to the store. I really hate to exit the forum on a bad note. :(

Bird of Paradise
04-06-2012, 06:20 PM
Sorry, but I thought this forum was for discussing ideas, as well as giving straight up factual information - not just a place to pat each other on the back ALL the time. (although, yes, it's great for that too).

I guess that some people just want to be told that everything is ok all the time, and that everyone agrees with them. What a shame - I LIKE being able to discuss, and hear different ideas.

For the record, ManyRoses, I don't think you were responsible for derailing this thread, since it was pretty much doomed from the first reply by VivianBear (which made it personal and off topic against the OP) to turn into drama. What happened after was just multiple people responding to that first reply.

But now this strawman polarization is just pretty whack, imo. Either they think this is a place for discussing ideas and giving facts, OR they must want it to be a place to "pat people on the back ALL the time and want to be told that everything is ok and everyone agrees with them all the time"? Come on now. You can't just shove people who disagree with you into some lame oversensitive polar extreme category.

The problem here has nothing to do with the fact that ideas and facts are being given, but that some of them had no place in this thread to begin with because the OP wasn't asking for judgment about her living situation but for an answer to a simple question. And no, I don't think ALL the responses were judgmental (some were helpful like advising about possible tax complications). There's a huge gray area where it's difficult to draw the line between giving opinions and being judgmental, patronizing, and condescending. People are bound to disagree about where to draw that line, and the lack of tone/body language on the internet just makes shit that much more difficult. Imo, politely advising someone about potential issues they may face is very different from saying/implying they're lazy if they live at home, that they must be ashamed or should be ashamed if they don't tell their parents, or shouldn't be entitled to the financial benefits of camming if they live at home. That is where this all began to go wrong in the very first reply, emotions got stirred, and things got too personal. Words like laziness, shame, guilt, and deserve (or other words that touch on that vein) are like emotional mini-bombs when thrown at others over the internets. Walking in from that point on is like braving a hornet's nest where you better tread more carefully than usual unless you don't mind getting stung.

Avamonet
04-06-2012, 06:50 PM
Sigh. I feel like I am damned either way right now. If I continue to attempt to defend myself when people are directly quoting me and talking to me (as Incantatious originally did, which is WHY I responded. If people reply directly to something I have said, I like to respond to that. I think it encourages further discussion, as long as people don't get rude) then I will be told that I shouldn't be, and that I am jumping on people. If I say nothing, then I have no way to defend myself.

I have tried to be fairly polite about how I feel, and give a perspective that hasn't been given. I had no intention of making ANYONE "feel like shit", just to consider all angles. And if I WAS trying to make people feel bad, I would probably not make an effort to apologize for derailing things, and repeat over and over that everyone is free to do whatever they want, and that I am just stating an opinion.

That said, this thread has started to make me feel attacked, so I'm done with it. Sorry for feeling like I could agree with another camgirl and reply to people quoting me.

ManyRoses:

You in no way had anything to do with the "derailing" of this thread. Hell You didn't even jump in into the 2nd page. EVERYBODY got off topic. Well I take that back. Some people ignored the off topic posts and continued to answer the OP's original question. Everybody could have gone that route if they chose to. But people kept responding to other posts so that's how it got derailed. I honestly don't think it got derailed. I think when people post responses then it's fair game to be discussed. You can't post certain things about your life then get mad because people respond to it. That's what the hell a forum is. And not everybody has to agree with everyone else's point of view. Nothing posted in this thread is fact. It's all opinion. And everyone should have the right to post their opinion regardless of whether it's the opinion of the majority or not.

Melonie
04-07-2012, 07:25 AM
^^^ thus circling back on topic ...


I have NO issues with a mother camming, for the record, and no issues with someone hiding their camming from their parents. But I just can't get past the idea that if your parent is generous enough to allow you to live in their house past the age of 18, then you need to respect them enough to be honest with them. It is their house. They have a right to know what is going on in it. But this is just my opinion

Technically speaking, this goes way beyond personal opinion. The IRS, FAFSA, corporate employers, insurance companies etc. have strict rules regarding 'dependent' status, 'household' income, etc. that are not open to opinionated reinterpretation ... with the parent bearing the brunt of any negative consequences if / when those strict rules aren't adhered to. And as is the case when other rules / laws are broken, 'ignorance of the law' ( = ignorance of a daughters significant amount of webcam income ) is no excuse.

Jessica1001
04-08-2012, 09:44 AM
To the OP: Many cam sites which pay by check offer the option of HOLDING your checks for an indefinite period of time, so maybe you can start working and just do that, until you figure out a mailing address to get your checks sent to.

I've had to do that before, and it works great.