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NathanM
05-29-2012, 06:12 AM
U r so damn nice..whats wrong with u? lol..when r u gonna crack and be mr. asshole? Do u or have u ever been with a woman who felt she was a top priority like she was #1? Id love to hear some success stories..

Ha! My inner asshole comes out every once in awhile, I just have more control than to let it be obvious usually when it happens :P And yes, I have been with women who felt they were a top priority because they were/are to me. It's damn hard to balance things like this out, but the payoff is more than worth it. I think it all goes back to me being a "mommas boy" and learning to respect women to a higher level, I want them to be happy and know they are cherished, so it has been a part of my life, all my life. It's not just something I pull out to "get laid" or whatever, like the majority of males tend to do, it's who I am.


Nathan I wish you the best as well and you sound like you have got it together. Maybe if I had come across more dads like you I'd feel differently. Unfortunately all of the ones I met had serious drama and financial issues and it turned me completely off to the idea. I have met guys raising nieces and nephews and adopted kids as a single dad and these guys had it together and will make any woman happy.

Thank you :) You aren't the first and wont be the last to be jaded by males like that, unfortunately. That's why I speak up, to give hope that yes, maybe your Mr Right will have kids, but you may be his Ms Right and everything will work out. Actually, 2 of my 5 kids I have adopted within the past 3 years, so my family unit is a mishmash of what you described lol Take care and hope you have a cash heavy week!

shift_6x
05-29-2012, 09:29 AM
Ha! My inner asshole comes out every once in awhile, I just have more control than to let it be obvious usually when it happens :P And yes, I have been with women who felt they were a top priority because they were/are to me. It's damn hard to balance things like this out, but the payoff is more than worth it. I think it all goes back to me being a "mommas boy" and learning to respect women to a higher level, I want them to be happy and know they are cherished, so it has been a part of my life, all my life. It's not just something I pull out to "get laid" or whatever, like the majority of males tend to do, it's who I am.



Thank you :) You aren't the first and wont be the last to be jaded by males like that, unfortunately. That's why I speak up, to give hope that yes, maybe your Mr Right will have kids, but you may be his Ms Right and everything will work out. Actually, 2 of my 5 kids I have adopted within the past 3 years, so my family unit is a mishmash of what you described lol Take care and hope you have a cash heavy week!

Not all momma's boys respect women as they should..That is something that has to be taught and shown to them through a good father who appreciates and respects his wife imo. And I do NOT see enough of that..Nowadays alot of men have a whole "the female is meant to serve me" (the male) point of view and this is sadly where alot of men go wrong. If they would in fact worship their women more then alot more relationships would end up working out..The whole "I want to do what I want when I want" mentality that alot of guys have ruins it for them. They dont want a woman to say anything to them or tell them what to do for a second. Its funny bc I actually think both the male and the female should serve each other but primarily the man is to worship the female and appreciate her so that in turn he may be appreciated.

NathanM
05-29-2012, 11:27 AM
Not all momma's boys respect women as they should..That is something that has to be taught and shown to them through a good father who appreciates and respects his wife imo. And I do NOT see enough of that..Nowadays alot of men have a whole "the female is meant to serve me" (the male) point of view and this is sadly where alot of men go wrong. If they would in fact worship their women more then alot more relationships would end up working out..The whole "I want to do what I want when I want" mentality that alot of guys have ruins it for them. They dont want a woman to say anything to them or tell them what to do for a second. Its funny bc I actually think both the male and the female should serve each other but primarily the man is to worship the female and appreciate her so that in turn he may be appreciated.

Okay, I have to agree with you, having a good dad and seeing how he treated mom, definitely helped. I do have to bring one thing up, it's not just men who have the whole entitlement thing going on, it's society in general, all about "me, me, me" these days.

Most men would be offended by your statement "primarily the man is to worship the female and appreciate her so that in turn he may be appreciated" but surprise, I kind of agree with you. Without females, the human race would die off, therefore they do deserve much respect. Maybe worship is too strong of a word, perhaps honor would work better, I know it does for me now that I think about it :)

shift_6x
05-29-2012, 12:07 PM
^I am glad u agree with me. Many men rnt smart enough to realize if he spoils the woman he in turn will be spoiled by the women who appreciate his hard work and generosity. The "me me me' mindset is a huge problem in society as a whole I do agree.

Kellydancer
05-29-2012, 02:34 PM
I also agree about the whole mentality. My opinion is that both people need to compromise in order to make relationships work. I have dated men who spoiled me and others who expected me to cater to them, guess which group I dated longer?

Kellydancer
05-29-2012, 02:38 PM
Thank you :) You aren't the first and wont be the last to be jaded by males like that, unfortunately. That's why I speak up, to give hope that yes, maybe your Mr Right will have kids, but you may be his Ms Right and everything will work out. Actually, 2 of my 5 kids I have adopted within the past 3 years, so my family unit is a mishmash of what you described lol Take care and hope you have a cash heavy week!

Men who adopt kids as single dads are to me very good men no question about that. Yes these guys would definitely be in contention to be my husband and since they don't have a mom, maybe eventually I could adopt the kids too. I am meeting a few guys like this and they are good men. Men with kids and a living ex would not work for me, but at least I am honest upfront before they fall for me. I know I get a lot of flack for this, but the issues I dealt with were not things I can bend on. I know people might question why I could question dating a man who is a single dad (as in adopted)but not a man with kids and a living ex and it boils down to the drama and financial.

NathanM
05-29-2012, 02:53 PM
shift and kellydancer, thank you both for a polite debate on this subject! Wishing you both the best of luck in finding the one for you :)

Kellydancer
05-29-2012, 02:58 PM
Thanks and same to you. You sound like a wonderful catch and you will find a wonderful woman.

shift_6x
05-30-2012, 11:56 AM
^ i dont really need to find 'the one" as I already have lots of guys who want me..im just being picky and voicing the things that Ive noticed in relationships especially on the man side.

Davey17
05-30-2012, 01:13 PM
Kelly ... We went though all the same about the " Dad with Kids topic " on another thread , and I expressed my view then , so little point in repeating it .

Back to the original topic , I see some saying " On line friends " or similar . In my view , although I well understand the benefits of " Connection " involved with Social media and the " Better than nothing " argument , I really believe this represents a large part of the problem . This is fine if you actually have met the person and are simply following a means of communication , or maybe even some form of future meeting or the like .

But I view part of the online thing as a reason for actual lack of communication , you only have to watch the masses Staring into this hand piece all the time , its kind of distressing .. I dont think these people can be considered " Friends " ...maybe " Virtual friends " or " Cyber friends " ..but there certainly is a difference .

On a personal note , Ive used lots of Social Media and Internett connections all over the world ( I use linked - in a lot ) and so far , everybody ( although screened heavily first ) has been EXACTLY what they presented to me ..So Im certainly not saying its not a great tool . Im speaking more of the " Virtual " , I think theres a bit of B/S in there .

Any thoughts ??

lifetravelergirl
05-30-2012, 01:47 PM
Read 'Why Men Love Bitches'. After the sexual revolution and after idiotic television shows (written by men) like Sex in the City, women began giving it away and they lost their power. (They gave their power away). Men are animals, human animals but animals none-the-less. Being human makes them worse, they think with their egos. They reason with their egos. Everything they do is about impressing other men. It is like "extras" in a strip club. Stupid women are giving it away and why get a lap dance from you when that other girl gives a blowjob along with her lap dance for $20.oo ?

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? There are tons of women out there looking for love who will give it all away for nothing while hoping that the guy will like them afterwards or maybe fall in love with them. But it doesn't work that way. Why Men Love Bitches is a great book, read it. Take back your power.

Most people are ignorant, that's how life is. Guys don't even know what love is until they have made a heavy investment into a relationship because men don't experience love the same way as we do. Men think that women are exactly the same as them. They think we should pay our half of the date, they think we want to get in their pants just as bad as they want to get into our pants. Unfortunately there are some women out there who are trying to live up to what they believe.

Chill out ladies. Get rid of the noise in your heads, go on walkabout or something, meditate, sit in silence for a while and snap out of it.

There will always be tons of egotistical guys and ignorant women who give their power away. But you don't have to be one of them. The best way to find a guy is to get yourself where you need to be in life, focus on yourself, learn how to enjoy being alone, love yourself and don't give your power away. And read that book.

shift_6x
05-30-2012, 02:20 PM
^Thanks for ur advice..I believe Im already 'there' though..This whole post was mainly for venting and viewing everyones' viewpoints..Thank u all for ur time. I understand the whole power concept. I could read more about it but I do get it.

Davey17
05-31-2012, 06:35 AM
Read 'Why Men Love Bitches'. After the sexual revolution and after idiotic television shows (written by men) like Sex in the City, women began giving it away and they lost their power. (They gave their power away). Men are animals, human animals but animals none-the-less. Being human makes them worse, they think with their egos. They reason with their egos. Everything they do is about impressing other men. It is like "extras" in a strip club. Stupid women are giving it away and why get a lap dance from you when that other girl gives a blowjob along with her lap dance for $20.oo ?

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? There are tons of women out there looking for love who will give it all away for nothing while hoping that the guy will like them afterwards or maybe fall in love with them. But it doesn't work that way. Why Men Love Bitches is a great book, read it. Take back your power.

Most people are ignorant, that's how life is. Guys don't even know what love is until they have made a heavy investment into a relationship because men don't experience love the same way as we do. Men think that women are exactly the same as them. They think we should pay our half of the date, they think we want to get in their pants just as bad as they want to get into our pants. Unfortunately there are some women out there who are trying to live up to what they believe.

Chill out ladies. Get rid of the noise in your heads, go on walkabout or something, meditate, sit in silence for a while and snap out of it.

There will always be tons of egotistical guys and ignorant women who give their power away. But you don't have to be one of them. The best way to find a guy is to get yourself where you need to be in life, focus on yourself, learn how to enjoy being alone, love yourself and don't give your power away. And read that book.


I dispute that Such power is being " Given Away " ..And man if this is what you really believe , I certainly dont think such a book has done you anygood at All , Wont help your business .... And If anything adds wieght to the original topic .

No wonder these guys dont want to commit ! ..Wow , who could expect them to with attitudes like this .

Hatred and Cynical responces to a COMPLETE GENDER , is just out and out Waffle , and a big part of the problem . You could be directed to any similar book giving a partcular view about Womem . This is where the Western World just gets it so wrong ..Attitudes expressed like this , written as Statements of fact .

Rubbish that shouldn't be accepted by either Sex , and if Dancing with these views an absolute business destroyer . Sex is not something that is a pure " Sale " item , any woman can outlast any man from a Biological point of view .

jekka
05-31-2012, 09:29 AM
I read "Why Men Love Bitches" and it is really just a catchy title. The gist of the book instructs ladies to respect themselves and do their own thing. Sound advice for this day and age. The only way to go wrong is if you expect to attract men by following the suggestions of the book. It is not necessarily going to land you a boyfriend anymore than "Why Men Marry Bitches" will land you a husband.

Unfortunately, men in this age bracket don't have much incentive to settle down. Lots of milk is being given for free and there are just so many options. Also, men are afraid to lose their shirt should a marriage go wrong, which it very likely will. Biologically, they have a decade more time (viable sperm count decreases after age 45) to search for "the right one" and that puts women in their thirties at a disadvantage. We are not only competing with women in our own age bracket but a whole generation younger. If a man chooses to extend his adolescence a bit longer he can choose to go out with a 22 year old who doesn't have a care in the world for settling down.

I was like that when I was in my twenties until the clock started ticking. To my surprise none of the guys I was dating were on the same marriage and kids/responsibility page as me. It was a very painful and difficult time as I always thought I would make a good wife and mother. There is a shortage of available men my age who appreciate or want that. At 33 I am coming to terms with the fact that things may not work out for me as far as family goes, but I keep my head up.

I also noticed that many women my age are starting to date younger men in their 20s. They claim they have less baggage, are in shape, etc.

Good luck to the OP in finding love.

unbeleavable
05-31-2012, 09:51 AM
Read 'Why Men Love Bitches'. After the sexual revolution and after idiotic television shows (written by men) like Sex in the City, women began giving it away and they lost their power. (They gave their power away). Men are animals, human animals but animals none-the-less. Being human makes them worse, they think with their egos. They reason with their egos. Everything they do is about impressing other men. It is like "extras" in a strip club. Stupid women are giving it away and why get a lap dance from you when that other girl gives a blowjob along with her lap dance for $20.oo ?

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? There are tons of women out there looking for love who will give it all away for nothing while hoping that the guy will like them afterwards or maybe fall in love with them. But it doesn't work that way. Why Men Love Bitches is a great book, read it. Take back your power.

Most people are ignorant, that's how life is. Guys don't even know what love is until they have made a heavy investment into a relationship because men don't experience love the same way as we do. Men think that women are exactly the same as them. They think we should pay our half of the date, they think we want to get in their pants just as bad as they want to get into our pants. Unfortunately there are some women out there who are trying to live up to what they believe.

Chill out ladies. Get rid of the noise in your heads, go on walkabout or something, meditate, sit in silence for a while and snap out of it.

There will always be tons of egotistical guys and ignorant women who give their power away. But you don't have to be one of them. The best way to find a guy is to get yourself where you need to be in life, focus on yourself, learn how to enjoy being alone, love yourself and don't give your power away. And read that book.

I'm sorry you feel this way, life is full of givers & takers both male & female.

Kellydancer
05-31-2012, 01:52 PM
I read "Why Men Love Bitches" and it is really just a catchy title. The gist of the book instructs ladies to respect themselves and do their own thing. Sound advice for this day and age. The only way to go wrong is if you expect to attract men by following the suggestions of the book. It is not necessarily going to land you a boyfriend anymore than "Why Men Marry Bitches" will land you a husband.

Unfortunately, men in this age bracket don't have much incentive to settle down. Lots of milk is being given for free and there are just so many options. Also, men are afraid to lose their shirt should a marriage go wrong, which it very likely will. Biologically, they have a decade more time (viable sperm count decreases after age 45) to search for "the right one" and that puts women in their thirties at a disadvantage. We are not only competing with women in our own age bracket but a whole generation younger. If a man chooses to extend his adolescence a bit longer he can choose to go out with a 22 year old who doesn't have a care in the world for settling down.

I was like that when I was in my twenties until the clock started ticking. To my surprise none of the guys I was dating were on the same marriage and kids/responsibility page as me. It was a very painful and difficult time as I always thought I would make a good wife and mother. There is a shortage of available men my age who appreciate or want that. At 33 I am coming to terms with the fact that things may not work out for me as far as family goes, but I keep my head up.

I also noticed that many women my age are starting to date younger men in their 20s. They claim they have less baggage, are in shape, etc.

Good luck to the OP in finding love.

The whole "men date a generation younger" is really not true like everyone seems to think it is. Sure many men want younger, but doesn't mean all of them can get one. Women generally tend to marry within a few years of their age and very few women want a much older man, especially if he has more baggage than she is. Yet I often see on dating sites these 40 year old men using the whole biological issue as an excuse to date younger, then many of these same guys complain because they can't find a hot 25 year old while they are fat, 40 and not wealthy. Yes a good looking, successful 40 year old man can get what he wants usually, but a 40 year old overweight poor guy? not likely.

Right now there is a guy I am interested in and he seems a prize. He's not the best looking (average looking)guy but has a great personality and owns several businesses. He's very shy though. I don't know what he is looking for marriage wise (he's 50) but if he isn't interested in marriage I am giving up on that. I wanted to be a wife and mother but not all of us get our dreams. I will date much younger because I figure if men can do it, so can I and I get hit on a lot by 20something men so why not?

Kellydancer
05-31-2012, 02:03 PM
Read 'Why Men Love Bitches'. After the sexual revolution and after idiotic television shows (written by men) like Sex in the City, women began giving it away and they lost their power. (They gave their power away). Men are animals, human animals but animals none-the-less. Being human makes them worse, they think with their egos. They reason with their egos. Everything they do is about impressing other men. It is like "extras" in a strip club. Stupid women are giving it away and why get a lap dance from you when that other girl gives a blowjob along with her lap dance for $20.oo ?

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? There are tons of women out there looking for love who will give it all away for nothing while hoping that the guy will like them afterwards or maybe fall in love with them. But it doesn't work that way. Why Men Love Bitches is a great book, read it. Take back your power.

Most people are ignorant, that's how life is. Guys don't even know what love is until they have made a heavy investment into a relationship because men don't experience love the same way as we do. Men think that women are exactly the same as them. They think we should pay our half of the date, they think we want to get in their pants just as bad as they want to get into our pants. Unfortunately there are some women out there who are trying to live up to what they believe.

Chill out ladies. Get rid of the noise in your heads, go on walkabout or something, meditate, sit in silence for a while and snap out of it.

There will always be tons of egotistical guys and ignorant women who give their power away. But you don't have to be one of them. The best way to find a guy is to get yourself where you need to be in life, focus on yourself, learn how to enjoy being alone, love yourself and don't give your power away. And read that book.

Agreed. I have no doubt that had I been picky with who I dated and slept with at an earlier age I would be married. Whether we want to admit this or not, if men weren't getting sex and they really liked the girl they would stick around. If they were just about sex they would dump her no matter what. I made the vow years ago to abstain from sex until marriage or at least engagement because quite frankly I am done with men using me. My mom always says that "men sleep with sluts but marry good girls". True to some extent because many men don't respect women they sleep with, especially early on. If more women realized this we could all take back this power.

The sexual revolution ruined it for women and we are reaping the tragic consequences with the problems of out of wedlock children, mulitple marriages, men refusing to marry, live in relationships, and this extension of refusing to grow up.

shift_6x
05-31-2012, 03:51 PM
I read "Why Men Love Bitches" and it is really just a catchy title. The gist of the book instructs ladies to respect themselves and do their own thing. Sound advice for this day and age. The only way to go wrong is if you expect to attract men by following the suggestions of the book. It is not necessarily going to land you a boyfriend anymore than "Why Men Marry Bitches" will land you a husband.

Unfortunately, men in this age bracket don't have much incentive to settle down. Lots of milk is being given for free and there are just so many options. Also, men are afraid to lose their shirt should a marriage go wrong, which it very likely will. Biologically, they have a decade more time (viable sperm count decreases after age 45) to search for "the right one" and that puts women in their thirties at a disadvantage. We are not only competing with women in our own age bracket but a whole generation younger. If a man chooses to extend his adolescence a bit longer he can choose to go out with a 22 year old who doesn't have a care in the world for settling down.

I was like that when I was in my twenties until the clock started ticking. To my surprise none of the guys I was dating were on the same marriage and kids/responsibility page as me. It was a very painful and difficult time as I always thought I would make a good wife and mother. There is a shortage of available men my age who appreciate or want that. At 33 I am coming to terms with the fact that things may not work out for me as far as family goes, but I keep my head up.

I also noticed that many women my age are starting to date younger men in their 20s. They claim they have less baggage, are in shape, etc.

Good luck to the OP in finding love.


Thank u for ur reply..You are close to my age and ur right...lets say my guy interest is 30...Well I am having to deal w the fact that n my ealry 30s that same guy can get involved with a 22 yro who will b a fun time or he could get involved me me the 32 yro who wants something serious..Which one is he gonna choose? The good time 22 yro? Maybe..Its sad... I despise most younger girls bc of it..i mean yea some r ok but Ive past them..Been there done that..Luckily I have several younger guys who r into me I just want to be picky and not repeat past mistakes..I want the best possible outcome instead of the same problems.

shift_6x
05-31-2012, 03:52 PM
This has been one hell of a thread lol...

Kellydancer
05-31-2012, 04:08 PM
Shift, are you talking about the hot men around that age or men in general? I have noticed that if one stops judging men based on looks more options open. By that I'm talking about myself, not you, because I used to be extremely shallow about looks. I wouldn't date a man generally unless he was hot. Now though I am looking at men more average looking and finding a lot of men. The guy I am interested in now is not a guy I would have considered 10 years ago. I'm not saying overlooking things you can't, just maybe look under the hood so to speak.

I don't blame the younger girls, I blame the men because most of them are seeking younger that you mention. However when they are ready to marry they find out the younger women don't want that often so they go older.

cherryblossomsinspring
05-31-2012, 04:42 PM
I dispute that Such power is being " Given Away " ..And man if this is what you really believe , I certainly dont think such a book has done you anygood at All , Wont help your business .... And If anything adds wieght to the original topic .

No wonder these guys dont want to commit ! ..Wow , who could expect them to with attitudes like this .

Hatred and Cynical responces to a COMPLETE GENDER , is just out and out Waffle , and a big part of the problem . You could be directed to any similar book giving a partcular view about Womem . This is where the Western World just gets it so wrong ..Attitudes expressed like this , written as Statements of fact .

Rubbish that shouldn't be accepted by either Sex , and if Dancing with these views an absolute business destroyer . Sex is not something that is a pure " Sale " item , any woman can outlast any man from a Biological point of view .

I'm going to have to disagree. The guys don't want to commit because why commit to something you can get without the commitment. Women are cooking, cleaning, having sex all day and night without a future with these men. Back in the old days women didn't have sex until a ring was put on their finger. Probably why most men were married back then. Plus the values were different as well. Now with the economy and women making money they are now doing the 50-50 plan. Having a guy ask me where's my half of the rent is not something I'm looking for or ever have.

Tell a girl to date and see how long that guys sticks around before she puts out. If that's all he's after then he will not be calling you for date two. Or how about the guys that offer to come over and cook for you because they can't be bothered with taking you out. Can't get a meal out the guy but he always seems to have a shit load of cash for drinks. Get you drunk and you can't fight him off? Blame yourself later for getting shit faced? Yeah sounds about right.

Men do love bitches. Be sweet and you will get taken for a ride. Stand your ground and they will have to respect you or find the nearest door and walk the fuck through it.

The same guy that will pay a few hundred on a dancer in a week will turn around and talk about how his gf was late on preparing dinner.

cherryblossomsinspring
05-31-2012, 04:54 PM
Actually what I've seen recently is guys in their 50's looking to settle down. Perhaps they have reached a level of financial comfort that they want to share but they tend to desire a younger woman to have kids for them.I've dated some guys in mid 30's some early 40s and they aren't looking to settle down. This doesn't really bother me much but I'm just not into fucking random older people either. For me if there isn't a goal then there isn't a point. What best is if you decide to date, do it with no expectations. Go out enjoy their company and remove and replace. I'm saying serial date. When you have so many options you start not care who's calling. You just hope the date is fun. If the person gets too pushy for sex, drop them and move to the next.

I haven't dated because I can't take another scare tactic with bogus pics. Overly aggressive guys that don't seem to understand if my elbow is in their throat I'm not interested in kissing them. Dating is like a 2nd job and hitachi doesn't require batteries. Maybe get some male friends that really never hope to stay friends. When they push for more if they have been cool up to that point you may give them a shot. If not , well you'll need to replace them too.

ArmySGT.
05-31-2012, 05:15 PM
Divorce Court killed Commitment. With a 50% Divorce rate, Men don't want to put themselves into a situation where they lose everything, and have to pay Alimony to boot.

cherryblossomsinspring
05-31-2012, 05:21 PM
Divorce Court killed Commitment. With a 50% Divorce rate, Men don't want to put themselves into a situation where they lose everything, and have to pay Alimony to boot.

No they killed commitment by cheating. The divorce is like the after effect of someone being high. You just may vomit and who really wants to do that? Most marriages hit divorce for typically two reasons " Sex and money". Not necessarily in that order. Yes some people grow apart but in many cases it's in the bedroom and the wallet. He cutting down the money , she's cutting off sex. That war only has one end.

unbeleavable
05-31-2012, 06:05 PM
No they killed commitment by cheating. The divorce is like the after effect of someone being high. You just may vomit and who really wants to do that? Most marriages hit divorce for typically two reasons " Sex and money". Not necessarily in that order. Yes some people grow apart but in many cases it's in the bedroom and the wallet. He cutting down the money , she's cutting off sex. That war only has one end.

Funny, I got a text today from a married woman wanting me to send her a pic of my cock:) & I'm pretty sure her husband is still paying the mortgage. This is why I laugh when I read threads were a woman calls men dogs & animals.

ArmySGT.
05-31-2012, 06:18 PM
No they killed commitment by cheating. The divorce is like the after effect of someone being high. You just may vomit and who really wants to do that? Most marriages hit divorce for typically two reasons " Sex and money". Not necessarily in that order. Yes some people grow apart but in many cases it's in the bedroom and the wallet. He cutting down the money , she's cutting off sex. That war only has one end.

That assumes it is the Man that cheated, the Woman may just as well as have cheated. Yet, with precedence in many States, she will still come away with the house, car, and alimony. There are alot of reasons for a Divorce, but the consequences for the Man out way the benefit. With odds at 50% having to start over financially, while at the same time crippledm paying out 50% of your income for years on end, Men are not going to Commit.

cherryblossomsinspring
05-31-2012, 06:29 PM
Funny, I got a text today from a married woman wanting me to send her a pic of my cock:) & I'm pretty sure her husband is still paying the mortgage. This is why I laugh when I read threads were a woman calls men dogs & animals.

Hmm ok yes there have been increasing numbers of women cheating.... Ok I said it.. Ugggggg... I hate saying that! But you're not wearing a shirt so ......... :)

unbeleavable
05-31-2012, 06:35 PM
Hmm ok yes there have been increasing numbers of women cheating.... Ok I said it.. Ugggggg... I hate saying that! But you're not wearing a shirt so ......... :)

I will say I didn't respond because I didn't want to be that guy & this the truth. She has 2 little girls which made me feel bad aswell..

cherryblossomsinspring
05-31-2012, 06:40 PM
I will say I didn't respond because I didn't want to be that guy & this the truth. She has 2 little girls which made me feel bad aswell..

Glad to hear you not "one of those guys". And she has two girls? Ugghhh!!!!

Kellydancer
05-31-2012, 08:37 PM
Actually what I've seen recently is guys in their 50's looking to settle down. Perhaps they have reached a level of financial comfort that they want to share but they tend to desire a younger woman to have kids for them.I've dated some guys in mid 30's some early 40s and they aren't looking to settle down. This doesn't really bother me much but I'm just not into fucking random older people either. For me if there isn't a goal then there isn't a point. What best is if you decide to date, do it with no expectations. Go out enjoy their company and remove and replace. I'm saying serial date. When you have so many options you start not care who's calling. You just hope the date is fun. If the person gets too pushy for sex, drop them and move to the next.

I haven't dated because I can't take another scare tactic with bogus pics. Overly aggressive guys that don't seem to understand if my elbow is in their throat I'm not interested in kissing them. Dating is like a 2nd job and hitachi doesn't require batteries. Maybe get some male friends that really never hope to stay friends. When they push for more if they have been cool up to that point you may give them a shot. If not , well you'll need to replace them too.

I'm seeing a lot of 50 year old men wanting to finally settle down and assume they will find a 25 year old woman. The reality is these guys are in delusional land and how many 20something women will date them? I'm 41 and even I think men much older than early 50's is way too old for me. I'm on a religious dating site and all these 50something men desiring younger women not only makes the 50 year old women (most of which are hotter than the men)disgusted but the men end up complaining in the forums about the lack of available women. I mean, we all know that age doesn't determine whether one can have kids or not and that there are infertile younger women and MEN.

LaurenAus
05-31-2012, 08:43 PM
Funny, I got a text today from a married woman wanting me to send her a pic of my cock:) & I'm pretty sure her husband is still paying the mortgage. This is why I laugh when I read threads were a woman calls men dogs & animals.

this is why it's so hard for me to take marriage seriously..ugh..it sucks to be single sometimes but thankfully I'm not the kind of person who's terrified of being alone and will dive into relationships just cuz..

Kellydancer
05-31-2012, 08:48 PM
I'm going to have to disagree. The guys don't want to commit because why commit to something you can get without the commitment. Women are cooking, cleaning, having sex all day and night without a future with these men. Back in the old days women didn't have sex until a ring was put on their finger. Probably why most men were married back then. Plus the values were different as well. Now with the economy and women making money they are now doing the 50-50 plan. Having a guy ask me where's my half of the rent is not something I'm looking for or ever have.

Tell a girl to date and see how long that guys sticks around before she puts out. If that's all he's after then he will not be calling you for date two. Or how about the guys that offer to come over and cook for you because they can't be bothered with taking you out. Can't get a meal out the guy but he always seems to have a shit load of cash for drinks. Get you drunk and you can't fight him off? Blame yourself later for getting shit faced? Yeah sounds about right.

Men do love bitches. Be sweet and you will get taken for a ride. Stand your ground and they will have to respect you or find the nearest door and walk the fuck through it.

The same guy that will pay a few hundred on a dancer in a week will turn around and talk about how his gf was late on preparing dinner.

Yep. All too often we see women here who mention they do all the cooking and cleaning then pay half or all of the rent. WTF? If I do all of the cooking and cleaning then he better be paying ALL of the bills. If I am splitting half then I expect him to do half the chores.

My mother always says if you let the man pursue you and don't give in he will give in. Men need women like women need men and if you don't have sex with him, he will either leave (which means he was never going to stay)or he will stay and propose. My mom is wise and I wish I had listened to her.

shift_6x
06-01-2012, 12:10 AM
Shift, are you talking about the hot men around that age or men in general? I have noticed that if one stops judging men based on looks more options open. By that I'm talking about myself, not you, because I used to be extremely shallow about looks. I wouldn't date a man generally unless he was hot. Now though I am looking at men more average looking and finding a lot of men. The guy I am interested in now is not a guy I would have considered 10 years ago. I'm not saying overlooking things you can't, just maybe look under the hood so to speak.

I don't blame the younger girls, I blame the men because most of them are seeking younger that you mention. However when they are ready to marry they find out the younger women don't want that often so they go older.

I was just saying that lets say I am 32 and the guy I care for is 30..At that age i have to worry about the fact that that guy could have a the 22 yro or me the 32 yro hypothetically... 30s r like the limbo age where ur not super young anymore but u rnt older...I attract alot of younger guys and at times they r more eager to pls and adapt than the 30yro guy actually..Just seems like 30-40 yro guys r jaded just like some of the women that age>.Hell at times I am too..Just trying not to be here...
I do agree that when ur n ur 30s or 40s u should try to not look at the outside focus more on the inside..I feel lfortunate that youngergood looking decent guys want me It seems the 30+ yrolds around my age r more problematic..I would takea soso looking good guy..Most of the overly hot guys r completely into themselves w very few i find down to EARTH EVEN THO SOMETIMES u can find them they r scarce

Vyanka
06-01-2012, 12:26 AM
I don't like how "30-40 year old singles dating have excess baggage" sounds. We all have a past. Learn to leave it there and move on to a happy present, so it won't affect your future. Then healthy dating at any age shouldn't be a problem. ;-) that's just me.

shift_6x
06-01-2012, 11:19 AM
I don't like how "30-40 year old singles dating have excess baggage" sounds. We all have a past. Learn to leave it there and move on to a happy present, so it won't affect your future. Then healthy dating at any age shouldn't be a problem. ;-) that's just me.

This is a great attitude to have..However, all of us in that age bracket do have baggage and people will judge us for it..The trick is to find matches who r more open minded and understanding..Thats whats hard to find...

Kellydancer
06-01-2012, 11:37 AM
Vyanka I get what you are saying, but as someone around that age (though slightly older, ugh)I encounter people with baggage that prevents them from moving along. For example, I meet men who are single and never married and WANT to get married but are scared because of bad relationships. I also meet a lot of men who are not marriageable and aren't marriageable for me.

Shift, I have seen that too, and am having far more younger men contact me on dating sites than online. I'm not sure why actually and it is weird having a 35 year old man contact me but not a 45 year old. I am open to dating younger myself as well and could pull it off as can you. I admit that I am jaded and am becoming more and more because of online dating. It is horrendous and this is true especially to older women. I'm on one site with a lot of 50 year old women and the men their age bypass them because most have gone through menopause (or don't want kids). I hate the idea of being 50 years old, menopausal and still single because it seems so sad.

Davey17
06-02-2012, 03:37 AM
Hmm ok yes there have been increasing numbers of women cheating.... Ok I said it.. Ugggggg... I hate saying that! But you're not wearing a shirt so ......... :)

Little Doubt ..lets me honest , these cheating women are out there everywhere , and very very easy to Snag , they are at odds with their our sexuality ..and tell you stuff like " Your Not Going to F*ck me " ..this is code for " Why are you not trying harder " ..Everything a guy is told this , she wants a good Bang ..always always Married and Misunderstood ..lol ..lol .

And the question is why wont these guys commit ? Because they'd be Crazy to ..Why would they ? Women fight ( as much as they all will deny ) the constant biological clock , and man it statrs tick tock tick tock ..really quickly , though child bearing years and them into menopause , just prior to the onset of menopause or early menopause ..self doubt set upon around 80% who really just want to prove to themselves they are still a good bang ( temporarily ) .

Thats why Asia is so much better than the West , the West constantly trys to " Find answers " to " Create equality " ..its all complete BULLSHIT , as is the so called sexual revolution , the concept is completely F*cked , and simply DOES NOT work . Once we appreciate , without making ridiculous calls ..like " all women should be dikes " ..that men and women are actually different , then Harmony can be achieved .

But it never will be when we try and dance around Male inequality , Menstral cycles , Child birth , Raising Children and Menopause ..And you ask why this guys WONT commit ?? ..Because ..WHY WOULD THEY ????

Davey17
06-02-2012, 03:44 AM
Vyanka I get what you are saying, but as someone around that age (though slightly older, ugh)I encounter people with baggage that prevents them from moving along. For example, I meet men who are single and never married and WANT to get married but are scared because of bad relationships. I also meet a lot of men who are not marriageable and aren't marriageable for me.

Shift, I have seen that too, and am having far more younger men contact me on dating sites than online. I'm not sure why actually and it is weird having a 35 year old man contact me but not a 45 year old. I am open to dating younger myself as well and could pull it off as can you. I admit that I am jaded and am becoming more and more because of online dating. It is horrendous and this is true especially to older women. I'm on one site with a lot of 50 year old women and the men their age bypass them because most have gone through menopause (or don't want kids). I hate the idea of being 50 years old, menopausal and still single because it seems so sad.


Dating younger dudes is a Sorry waste of time ..and just NEVER works , women who fall into this trap get hurt really badly and you can see why ..Yes of course a young dude is going to Bang some 45 year Old when he is 35 ..he will persue this for his own ends . But only a Dude , with some form of Mother fantasy is going to Hang around , it simply does not Work , the female is in HIGH RISK on the child birth side , and the poor young bloke could be looking a " HELL " in 5 years ..Its simply a match ( Sorry ) that while your arse points to the ground will NEVER work .

Thats the truth ..Ive seen it time and time again ..You get BADLY hurt , and it happens in 5 years , when he decides he's going to have a Kid . EVERY TIME ..its quite logical an outcome .

carmen_b
06-02-2012, 04:12 AM
Shift: I think you should be up front with your intentions. If you want traditional dating that will possibly lead to bf / gf status , say so! I was pretty up front that I was only looking for a boyfriend and that I don't FWB situations ( Blech ). It worked for me ( thank goodness ... my previous relationship was a polyamory disaster ). :)
With J , it's just the two of us and we are a solid team.

jekka
06-02-2012, 08:17 AM
Women fight ( as much as they all will deny ) the constant biological clock

Thats why Asia is so much better than the West , the West constantly trys to " Find answers " to " Create equality " ..its all complete BULLSHIT , as is the so called sexual revolution , the concept is completely F*cked , and simply DOES NOT work . Once we appreciate , without making ridiculous calls ..like " all women should be dikes " ..that men and women are actually different , then Harmony can be achieved .

But it never will be when we try and dance around Male inequality , Menstral cycles , Child birth , Raising Children and Menopause ..And you ask why this guys WONT commit ?? ..Because ..WHY WOULD THEY ????

I see that most of what you wrote is kind of rantish. But no, women in general don't fight the biological clock. Tons of women are grunting out kids they can't afford. The ones who mindfully choose not to bring a child into the world without first having the resources to give them a good life are suffering because of it.

If I had done things in opposite, had a baby before finishing college, getting married, and having a stable home, I wouldn't be facing a future without family now. The ones who are irresponsible and on the dole are benefitting at everyone else's expense.

You're right. Why would a guy want to commit? Children are a liability now. They're a fucking expensive 18 year plus comittment. It's not the olden days when you needed lots of offspring to care for the farm. Liberalism, the sexual revolution, and economics have changed everything to where it is centered on individual consumption. "Me" comes before family and country. The outcome of this ideology is evident in the overall delcine in fertility rates in Europe and America, a lot of single parent homes, a lot of divorce.

The comment warning older women against dating younger men cautioned that they will get hurt and it will likely fail. Not all older women are that naive not to protect themselves emotionally. Chances are they are experienced enough in love to be able to handle themselves just fine. The older women may just be wanting the benefits of dating a young man for the sheer joy of it. The younger men may even fall in love with them believe it or not. And they might even be happy.

Kellydancer
06-02-2012, 10:16 AM
Dating younger dudes is a Sorry waste of time ..and just NEVER works , women who fall into this trap get hurt really badly and you can see why ..Yes of course a young dude is going to Bang some 45 year Old when he is 35 ..he will persue this for his own ends . But only a Dude , with some form of Mother fantasy is going to Hang around , it simply does not Work , the female is in HIGH RISK on the child birth side , and the poor young bloke could be looking a " HELL " in 5 years ..Its simply a match ( Sorry ) that while your arse points to the ground will NEVER work .

Thats the truth ..Ive seen it time and time again ..You get BADLY hurt , and it happens in 5 years , when he decides he's going to have a Kid . EVERY TIME ..its quite logical an outcome .

I know several older women who married much younger men so it does workout. Yes, a few of them had healthy babies too. As for high risk, there's also a high risk when a woman has a baby with an older man because his sperm decreases and health risks like autism increases. So contrary to what many guys think women don't want older men, especially older fat and ugly men. If these men have a mother fixation then that must mean the old men who pursue younger women have a daughter fixation. This makes sense as I have seen many men who had daughters go after much younger women because they'd really fuck their daughters if given a chance.

Kellydancer
06-02-2012, 10:20 AM
I see that most of what you wrote is kind of rantish. But no, women in general don't fight the biological clock. Tons of women are grunting out kids they can't afford. The ones who mindfully choose not to bring a child into the world without first having the resources to give them a good life are suffering because of it.

If I had done things in opposite, had a baby before finishing college, getting married, and having a stable home, I wouldn't be facing a future without family now. The ones who are irresponsible and on the dole are benefitting at everyone else's expense.

You're right. Why would a guy want to commit? Children are a liability now. They're a fucking expensive 18 year plus comittment. It's not the olden days when you needed lots of offspring to care for the farm. Liberalism, the sexual revolution, and economics have changed everything to where it is centered on individual consumption. "Me" comes before family and country. The outcome of this ideology is evident in the overall delcine in fertility rates in Europe and America, a lot of single parent homes, a lot of divorce.

The comment warning older women against dating younger men cautioned that they will get hurt and it will likely fail. Not all older women are that naive not to protect themselves emotionally. Chances are they are experienced enough in love to be able to handle themselves just fine. The older women may just be wanting the benefits of dating a young man for the sheer joy of it. The younger men may even fall in love with them believe it or not. And they might even be happy.

Scientists are worried about what you mentioned because many of the most educated people aren't having kids or as many as the welfare ones. That is going to affect our society in many ways because we will be stuck with a generation or more of them while the educated people die off. I too regret putting childbirth on the burner while I pursued college and a career, while friends of mine had babies I paid for. They are the smart ones because they got on welfare and welfare paid for them to attend school. They also had everything paid for in addition to school.

shift_6x
06-02-2012, 10:51 AM
Little Doubt ..lets me honest , these cheating women are out there everywhere , and very very easy to Snag , they are at odds with their our sexuality ..and tell you stuff like " Your Not Going to F*ck me " ..this is code for " Why are you not trying harder " ..Everything a guy is told this , she wants a good Bang ..always always Married and Misunderstood ..lol ..lol .

And the question is why wont these guys commit ? Because they'd be Crazy to ..Why would they ? Women fight ( as much as they all will deny ) the constant biological clock , and man it statrs tick tock tick tock ..really quickly , though child bearing years and them into menopause , just prior to the onset of menopause or early menopause ..self doubt set upon around 80% who really just want to prove to themselves they are still a good bang ( temporarily ) .

Thats why Asia is so much better than the West , the West constantly trys to " Find answers " to " Create equality " ..its all complete BULLSHIT , as is the so called sexual revolution , the concept is completely F*cked , and simply DOES NOT work . Once we appreciate , without making ridiculous calls ..like " all women should be dikes " ..that men and women are actually different , then Harmony can be achieved .

But it never will be when we try and dance around Male inequality , Menstral cycles , Child birth , Raising Children and Menopause ..And you ask why this guys WONT commit ?? ..Because ..WHY WOULD THEY ????

I truly appreciate ur point of view..But heres the answer: TRUE LOVE. There are actually a very few guys left out there who do actually care about being loved..To them life is not worthwhile unless they r in a committed relationship..Now this is not the majority, I am talking about the minority. I know most guys just want to get their dick wet as they see fit..which is pathetic but reality I guess..

Its sad bc our society has become so completely 100% fake and materialistic...People dont care about other people these days and just want to get ahead however they can...Whether that means stepping on others, talking shit about others,etc..I am not perfect...I have made my fair share of mistakes in life. I am saying that for me personally it would be nice to find more of these 'rare' men who appreciate all that love has to offer. Bc the" majority" are a waste of my time.

LaurenAus
06-02-2012, 10:55 AM
shift thats completely true. There are men who are "relationship guys" and aren't fully content unless they are in a relationship and are connected to someone. Not every dude wants a non committed empty love life and a slew of one night stands eventually gets old. Also as far as cheating goes, it's best to find someone whose values are aligned to be with one woman, or who has lots of integrity. This is how my ex was, a part of what made him feel like a man was sticking with one woman, so I never felt insecure in that relationship.

shift_6x
06-02-2012, 10:56 AM
Dating younger dudes is a Sorry waste of time ..and just NEVER works , women who fall into this trap get hurt really badly and you can see why ..Yes of course a young dude is going to Bang some 45 year Old when he is 35 ..he will persue this for his own ends . But only a Dude , with some form of Mother fantasy is going to Hang around , it simply does not Work , the female is in HIGH RISK on the child birth side , and the poor young bloke could be looking a " HELL " in 5 years ..Its simply a match ( Sorry ) that while your arse points to the ground will NEVER work .

Thats the truth ..Ive seen it time and time again ..You get BADLY hurt , and it happens in 5 years , when he decides he's going to have a Kid . EVERY TIME ..its quite logical an outcome .

I appreciate the warning. And yes u do have to be careful with younger guys....But not every guy has ur mentality..Hell maybe the majority do...I know of several younger guys who have gotten hurt badly and they seek the company of someone a little older who has already been thro alot in life and knows whats what..They dont want the uncertainty and bs involved w younger girls their age who dont know wtf they want and dont care bc heyy..they r n their 20s..and maybe dont give a fuck..

shift_6x
06-02-2012, 10:59 AM
Shift: I think you should be up front with your intentions. If you want traditional dating that will possibly lead to bf / gf status , say so! I was pretty up front that I was only looking for a boyfriend and that I don't FWB situations ( Blech ). It worked for me ( thank goodness ... my previous relationship was a polyamory disaster ). :)
With J , it's just the two of us and we are a solid team.

Yesss..I totally agree..With my ex as soon as I met him I told him that i was looking for a serious relationship...I also said that he would have to understand my job and so would his family bc I dont want a bunch of bs or undeserving grief..That did work..Sorta..thing is over time his opinion changed. That was a little my fault w all the work drama and mistakes on both sides as no relationship is perfect..I am pretty up front and if the guy doesnt like it he can walk...

shift_6x
06-02-2012, 11:05 AM
Scientists are worried about what you mentioned because many of the most educated people aren't having kids or as many as the welfare ones. That is going to affect our society in many ways because we will be stuck with a generation or more of them while the educated people die off. I too regret putting childbirth on the burner while I pursued college and a career, while friends of mine had babies I paid for. They are the smart ones because they got on welfare and welfare paid for them to attend school. They also had everything paid for in addition to school.

I think there is entirely too much pressure put on women to give birth. Its as if people think ur established by having kids..I dont agree...I feel far too many people bring kids into the world when they have no business doing so..Thats why I have not. I want my kid of I were to ever have one to have a good life, one better than mine..Not similar to mine with struggling..No thanks...And right now i dont care if my child bearing years r drifting away bc this is not the right time for kids in my life..I know that and am glad I am in touch with myself enough to know it. SOrry if some of u do not agree I am simply stating my own personal opinion which greatly reflects just myself.

GlamourRouge
06-02-2012, 11:09 AM
Sadly, the older I get, the more I realize how important looks really are. Such a sad fact of life. If you want to catch a man and if you want to keep him monogamous to you, you need to have a low BMI, a pretty face, good hair, good style, attractive qualities, and not look "older" unless the man you're going after is like 10-15 yrs older than you.

A guy falls in love with your personality yes, but its hard to get a quality one (attractive, accomplished, financially stable, cultured, successful, looking for something serious, etc.) to even court you if you're not at your physical personal best. I've never had much of a problem dating, but I've noticed this time and time again from friends who let themselves go even just a little & don't understand why they can't get dates or a guy to commit.

Quality men these days seem to accept nothing less than the whole package: young, hourglass body or spinners, perfect face (without the surgerized look), well-groomed & styled, along with: educated, cultured, motivated, a successful career, and making decent money. Of course this probably varies by region also. I feel like if you don't have those things and you're single not by choice, it makes it A LOT harder.

Kellydancer
06-02-2012, 11:14 AM
I think there is entirely too much pressure put on women to give birth. Its as if people think ur established by having kids..I dont agree...I feel far too many people bring kids into the world when they have no business doing so..Thats why I have not. I want my kid of I were to ever have one to have a good life, one better than mine..Not similar to mine with struggling..No thanks...And right now i dont care if my child bearing years r drifting away bc this is not the right time for kids in my life..I know that and am glad I am in touch with myself enough to know it. SOrry if some of u do not agree I am simply stating my own personal opinion which greatly reflects just myself.

Shift I agree and I think women are pressured so much in this society. It really stinks to be an older woman because of society and also because there are too many men with this mentality that women like us aren't good enough for them. I've always said if I didn't give birth adoption is good too.

Kellydancer
06-02-2012, 11:30 AM
Sadly, the older I get, the more I realize how important looks really are. Such a sad fact of life. If you want to catch a man and if you want to keep him monogamous to you, you need to have a low BMI, a pretty face, good hair, good style, attractive qualities, and not look "older" unless the man you're going after is like 10-15 yrs older than you.

A guy falls in love with your personality yes, but its hard to get a quality one (attractive, accomplished, financially stable, cultured, successful, looking for something serious, etc.) to even court you if you're not at your physical personal best. I've never had much of a problem dating, but I've noticed this time and time again from friends who let themselves go even just a little & don't understand why they can't get dates or a guy to commit.

Quality men these days seem to accept nothing less than the whole package: young, hourglass body or spinners, perfect face (without the surgerized look), well-groomed & styled, along with: educated, cultured, motivated, a successful career, and making decent money. Of course this probably varies by region also. I feel like if you don't have those things and you're single not by choice, it makes it A LOT harder.

I've dated men like you describe and never again. I think that is the mistake women make going after those guys (who are extremely rare)instead of trying more approachable men. I'm not saying dating a fat man who lives in a basement and doesn't work, but rather a decent looking man who has a decent job. The guy who will not win a beauty contest and will never be a millionaire but will be a devoted husband and father. These guys aren't as concerned about looks and unlike the others will stick around.