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Classy_Katy
07-20-2012, 12:09 AM
OMG!!!!

No, the ferret somehow got missed off the list earlier...but to be fair, it is a long list and a long dead ferret in the freezer can easily be forgotten LOL

This guy so needs help...and I mean of the professional kind, I'm sorry to say.

I wouldn't be surprised if he gets it out and looks at it from time to time...eww!

JoJoX
07-20-2012, 01:00 AM
other option: make vids of yourself doing some renovations, maybe in some lingerie, gettin' all dirty and greasy and dusty~

awesome ass idea

JoJoX
07-20-2012, 01:02 AM
Eek I didn't mention the ferret, did I?

We are both animal lovers, I LOVE ferrets and what happened was, he had this pet ferret,Judas, he died and the ground was frozen so he put Judas in a box, in the freezer intending to bury him in the garden when the ground was softer. I've no issue with that, at all. I like to bury my pets, I don't just chuck them in the bin or anything like that.

What I DO have issues with, is that this was a couple of years ago :( And Judas is still in the freezer.

lmao, this is a joke...right?

JoJoX
07-20-2012, 01:11 AM
just looked at the pics....WOWOW. there is no way in HELL i would even visit. how the hell can u sleep in that? camming in there? id be afraid something will crawl up my vagina. this is a deal breaker. how can you move on in a relationship with a problem like this? this is way beyond just being messy. WAY beyond it. you may love him and all but it looks like you need to put a hold on your plans, move on your own until he does something about this. this is very unhealthy in many ways.

and hey, let us know when you make it on the show so i can be like "hey, i know that girl!"

Jessica1001
07-20-2012, 06:03 AM
The way you've described your situation, I'm not at all surprised at how hard this is, or that your emotions have you giggling and bawling your eyes out at the same time. This is quite the situation.

I really really feel for you. :-(

I think when you do have a chance to sit down with him, just explain it the way you have explained it here... That you love him like crazy, everything clicks, but the house situation is really a big deal for you.

Keep us posted... I'm rooting for you!!!

delilicious
07-20-2012, 06:32 AM
I've dated two guys, one who was just absolutely filthy, sounds just as bad as your bf really, and another guy who just collected a ton of stuff and then sold it then collected more, I lived with both of them.

DON'T DO IT. I did the chores or they didn't get done. They will clean once in a great while, or do a half assed attempt at cleaning, but only after you ask and ask and ask and ask. The first guy, like yours, dog crap on the floor, moldy food, less than stellar furniture, even he seemed clean but unless I did the laundry he would reuse the same towel for ages. Ugh bugs. Mice. THE SMELL.

I'm also somewhat messy. Moving in with them made my messiness so much worse because it doubled the mess and made it double harder to clean, but still just one person doing the cleaning.

Relationships do involve compromise, but a compromise is a result that works for everyone. You deserve to be respected all the time, not just most of the time. You are not a maid, you are a partner in a relationship. And he knows that his house makes you uncomfortable to the point you don't want to be there but he can't find any time at ALL to make his girlfriend feel welcome in his home? Seriously.

Like Jessica said some couples live separately and they're really happy with it! Not just because they 'have to' but because it works for them. Whatever you end up choosing, good luck. I know it's hard to face the idea of breaking up with someone who really cares for you, and it feels like he helped you change, and he did, but YOU were the person who did the changing. You're the one who improved and made your life better and you deserve to be happy in every part of your life!

Classy_Katy
07-20-2012, 10:57 AM
I told him I was thinknig of it and he sounded offended, I don't blame him, who WOULD like it if their partner moved into somebody else's gaff (opposite sex) when they could live at their's for free?! Steve really does NOT think his house is bad.



He needs something to make him realise it really IS that bad...and that he has a problem if he thinks it isn't, nothing will ever change otherwise.

Vanessa_Paws
07-20-2012, 12:06 PM
Yes. If he hasnt realized it by now, he probably wont ever. He needs someone to "make" him realize it. Classy_Kitty is absolutely right.

He probably will be offended. Hell I would be too if someone said I lived gross for lack of better terms, lol.

Melodie
07-21-2012, 02:51 AM
What sort of dog do you have?
When I met Steve* he had this dog and she just did whatever she wanted!She stole food off the counter, jumped up at you whilst you drank something, barked all the time, ran out whenever the door was open, no road sense, just wasn't trained at all. I've done my best but she's six and she's slow at picking up on things. She is a lot better, though. Here's a pic of her and me

http://i1203.photobucket.com/albums/bb395/festered/205373_10150976524749430_1768845976_n.jpg

Our dog is a mix of a mastiff and a shar pei. He's an amazingly well behaved boy, and never pees or poos in the house when we're home. But AS SOON as we leave he does. Meh, i've just gotten used to it :p

zivlet
07-21-2012, 08:53 AM
Aww I bet he's gorgeous.
That's weird why he does that! Separation anxiety at its extreme!
I suspect when you clean it up, you don't just chuck it in the waste paper basket lol
I've edited the post of pictures, to add two of the bedroom. If you could call it that lol. It's a room with a bed in it.

Purrfect
07-21-2012, 10:07 AM
This is one of the most interesting threads I've ever read on SW! :D Don't even know if the whole situation is more funny or tragic.. Anyway, keep us updated and I hope you make the best decision for you. :)

zivlet
07-21-2012, 11:05 AM
Lol I'm glad I've kept you entertained! :)
I may begin a separate blog, just for this situation. I would have to make sure he was unlikely to find it, obviously!

Jessica1001
07-26-2012, 10:56 AM
Awwwww.. you guys are cute!

WOW.. I can't believe the BBC called! LOL!

Honestly, though... I don't know... he seems to really not be into it. Be gentle with him, and respect the fact that it's HIS place, and HIS life. By all means, try to talk him into letting these people help, but do understand that it's his call at the end of the day.

Tricky situation. Tread lightly.

I wish you and 'Steve' the best of luck, though! I hope the BBC thing works out, and everyone emerges from this with their dignity intact.

Classy_Katy
07-26-2012, 01:29 PM
This is brilliant Sugar, I'm really happy for you both because he does need outside help on many levels and I really, really hope he goes with it. I would be scared to death with it being TV too but fingers crossed deep down he knows he needs this help.

LAChloe
07-27-2012, 12:05 AM
I am sooooo sorry you are living this nightmare, but I am not going to lie- I think this thread is quite entertaining. The letter you wrote the BBC had me totally captivated. I hope they interview you just so I can hear your commentary. You are hilarious!!! Please keep us updated!

roast
07-27-2012, 11:12 AM
Well.

lol omg.

Ive bitched about clutter and my significant other being a slob / cluttery --- I think Ive written that I fantasize about setting our place on fire because of it (I do). But Im now totally humbled.

Your sense of humor and humility are both fantastic I have to say. IDK either way youll definitely get your head above water. seriously though. Your pics and descriptions are giving me anxiety and I dont even live there -I wouldve had a nervous breadown while youre the humorous storyteller just weathering the storm. On that alone youre miles ahead of most. Your coping skills must be zenlike. Seriously.

A small slice of this is what people would make into months worth of drama and traumatized anecdotes.

super entertaining thread tho haha but Im sorry you live there, I hopethis gets resolved

LilRedRidinGood
07-27-2012, 05:36 PM
totally disagree. Guys with class want girls with class and will notice if your place is gross.
clear out a 3X5 area and section it off with solid colored sheets. Tell your boyfriend if he or any of his crap goes near your small area he will suffer the consequences. Take pride in your area. Don't be nasty.


I wouldn't worry about the state of the place...they should be more interested in seeing you! Also, you could make it work for you...wear some painting overalls so you fit into your setting and strip from those! I have a friend who's a farm worker and the guys really get off seeing her strip in from her boiler suit and wellies LOL.

Agree with others on the sympathy vote, if anything it's best to act like you have so much money you can afford renovate your place.

I sometimes cam from one end of the living room that has shelves and people sometimes ask if I'm in an office...I don't mind though as I'm often dressed in my secretary outfit and the whole thing works together.

Check out how sexy workmen's dungarees can be!

Seeing a woman get naked from wearing something everyday can be far more of a turn on than just seeing her there in a bra and knickers.

I just remembered...don't underestimate how much seeing tools turns a guy on! My ex used to get tool magazines and I called them his wank mags LOL. Tease them by suggestively stroking the handle of a hammer or spanner (wrench for our US friends) and they'll be putty in your hands...although of course they may want you to use it as a sex toy but that's purely your choice!

Classy_Katy
07-28-2012, 12:28 AM
totally disagree. Guys with class want girls with class and will notice if your place is gross.
clear out a 3X5 area and section it off with solid colored sheets. Tell your boyfriend if he or any of his crap goes near your small area he will suffer the consequences. Take pride in your area. Don't be nasty.

To be fair, I didn't know the sate of the place when I posted my comment!

zivlet
07-28-2012, 05:31 AM
LOL!This is the crux really, there's having a messy house, and there's having a house like THIS one! x

zivlet
08-07-2012, 09:21 AM
Channel four came to his house yesterday.
They're interested.
And they're calling us in a couple of days..............

Jessica1001
08-07-2012, 09:35 AM
Ahhhhh!!! :-)

Keep the updates coming!! What else did they say???!? What else did they say when they said they were interested? How is 'Steve' dealing? How are YOU doing?

Looking forward to seeing how this plays out, thank you for keeping us posted!

Jessica1001
08-07-2012, 09:55 AM
Please tell me you told them about Judas?

(That is SUCH a selling point.) :-)

And yes... this whole story is so compelling because he clearly IS intelligent and highly functional, with an unconventional-but-loving gf, etc.... the juxtaposition of that with his atrocious living situation will be a draw to the viewers, I think. I also think that a lot of them will sympathize with him.

This is SO fascinating. :-)

Melodie
08-07-2012, 10:04 PM
http://i1203.photobucket.com/albums/bb395/festered/205373_10150976524749430_1768845976_n.jpg

She's adorable btw :)
I hadn't read over this thread for a while, but I wanted to mention I like your hair in this pic. Im thinking of dying my hair turquoise soon (ordered it online last night :) )

good luck with the tv stuff, can't wait for you to have this dealt with. Im a messy person too, and hopefully him having stuff cleaned up....will help him KEEP it clean.

I know i have a hard time cleaning up once it gets to a certain point.

housewench
08-13-2012, 08:35 PM
have you heard of Unfuck your habitat? It actually helped me a lot >_> and my problem is... moving.

zivlet
08-14-2012, 02:51 AM
Lol thanks I'm having a look now! x

laurielegs
08-20-2012, 01:31 PM
I'm so glad you are being patient and getting help for him!

He will be so happy when things are sorted out - I have family who have these sorts of problems (and I have the tendency to not throw things away when I really should and have to fight that all the time myself).

Logically I know I should thin things out but somehow I have to force myself to do it or things start getting cluttered. It's hard to understand for someone who doesn't have that problem. Also depression can figure into the equation too - and depression feeds on itself and things can get more cluttered.

Having a clean cheery uncluttered space will do wonders for him!
It's a learning experience and he will be in much better circumstances when it's all dealt with and he learns to maintain it well.

Jessica1001
08-26-2012, 10:35 PM
UPDATE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)

Hope you and Neill are doing well! <3

Jessica1001
09-27-2012, 03:47 AM
Awww... Too bad the tv show people pulled out... But that wasn't the important thing anyway! Camming from your mobile home might indeed be a good solution both for income and sanity.

Do keep the updates coming... I really hope you two can come to some compromise with the state of the apartment. It's very hard to maintain a loving relationship when you're constantly resenting your partner!

Thanks for the news, and keep us posted! Xoxoxo

Vlodina
09-27-2012, 04:04 AM
Never heard of Hoarders... what you need is Kim and Aggie from How Clean is Your House. They'd sort it out! xxxxx

Jessica1001
09-28-2012, 01:16 PM
13 bags already?!?! Just trash?! Yikes, girl! :-(

Please take before/after pics for us, ok? (Well.. you can only do 'before' pics for now, but... you know what I mean. It will be so amazing to see what kind of a dent you manage to make!)

If you can actually manage to be there that long. Ugh... I'm so sorry about your situation! :-(

Can I ask what HE is doing while you're bagging his trash and removing years-old stank from his suitcases?

Jessica1001
09-28-2012, 04:54 PM
Hang in there, babe... he seems like a solid catch of a man, in every other way. I really hope you two can sort it all out!!!

Keep us posted as usual! The room that you use for yourself at his place,... have you at least managed to make THAT clean enough to act as kind of a sanctuary for you?

vivianbear
12-16-2012, 01:26 PM
^^

Oh, girl. ((hugs))

sexyred
12-16-2012, 02:14 PM
Huge hugs! I was reading through this whole thread this afternoon and was waiting for someone to ask about his depression/mental stability. I have a Masters in Psychology and it seemed quite apparent to me that he is severely depressed. I, myself, go through this messy/gross phases when I am depressed. And right now, my house is pretty messy, if that tells you anything. Do you think he would accept help? He sounds like a great guy otherwise.... On the other hand, you are so pretty in your pictures, extremely tough, loving and are quite eloquent. You're a catch! Good luck :)

Sugarmama
12-16-2012, 04:22 PM
Let him go before he takes you down!!!! unless he seeks treatment for his depression. 11 yr's later you will look around going wtf did I do with my life? I sacrificed it for someone else hoping, praying, thinking, knowing, and feeling it will all workout in my favor.
You maybe thinking and other's who is this chick to tell me this well I have been through this scenario only to be in the position I am in now plus I've seen a lot of other women go through the (Stand By My Man Phase) because no one will love me like he does, we are soul mate's, he has been good to be me when I was down (really examine your past period of being down involving them if you have/had/ or going through one) is it on the same caliber?, I shouldn't be so quick to run, or I will help him then he will be mine (because then he will know that no other women could be as good to him as me) theories it is mind blowing.

I am not saying this couldn't work out. I am just going by personal experience involving myself and friends.

The greatest thing coming from the bottom of heart about being on SW especially the camming connection is to see I am not alone. Feeling as if you are alone in the world especially in our biz is one of the worst you can have. So if I can help someone based I will try.

Whatever you decide to do I am with you.

Jessica1001
12-16-2012, 05:40 PM
Thank you sooo very much for updating. You're in a difficult spot, and I really don't know of any words or advice to make it better. It seems you really love each other though. But... does love trump stability, and everything else? Age-old question. I don't have the answers. <3

zivlet
01-09-2013, 06:29 PM
Thanks so much for your support especially Jessica101 :) I see you as a great friend because this is one of the hardest situations I've ever been in, even though I've never met you!

Thank you so much to everybody else who has offered their opinions and support, too!I feel really lucky to have Stripperweb, to think that I stripped for about 7 years without ever knowing it existed!xxx

christinarita
01-11-2013, 06:07 PM
Thankies for advice folksies, some good tips there-I may even be able to do that in the sitting room for permenant, I will feel more comfy generally if I do that, not just for camming. Charlotteslut, I hear you-I *can* afford somewhere but, he will let me live for free, rather than for £600 a month. That's a BIG difference. I have told him I want hot water before I move in. :/

I would definitely hold out for the hot water, and make sure there is heat...nothing worse than being naked in the cold! You can do so much with fabrics and a bedspread. I put two hooks up on the wall and ran some string between them. Then I just drape the "fabric du jour" over the string and I'm good to go! Good luck to you!

christinarita
01-11-2013, 06:14 PM
:) I know, I feel so glad that I began this thread and so many people were good and understanding. I do feel alone in this at the moment. My work's already suffering because of this, fuck knows WHAT I will be like if I leave him though.

I am good to him, but he's good to me too. I think a lot of his issues, are centred around the fact that he feels he's failed me in some way. He's a Man's man. He has to be the one to take care and look after me, and he does-everyday things..He's supportive and loving and I feel totally taken care of emotionally, and totally safe, I think admitting that he needs assistance with his mindset is too much for him.
I've been in those sorts of situations before, and this is why this situation frustrates me so much. As I said I've not had a proper relationship for time, but I've been involved with people who have tried to drag me down, and I've ran...I've been very careful not to end up here!AND I still managed it!
But I can see the side you come from and you're not the only person to say this. Staying with him isn't going to be easy is it, getting him through this would never be easy. I could be the girl who just cuts losses and leaves, and I would feel very bad if I did it, but, It's what many people would do and It's understandable.
This is why I feel so confused and upset.......

It sounds like he cares for you a lot, if he "gets sad and upset and holds you" as you say, and if his anxiety is based on you (the fact that he thinks he can't take care of you, etc). You mean a lot to him, and that's rare. I have encountered a lot of guys who just want sex, "no strings attached" etc lately. A guy who takes care of you emotionally is something to hold on to. Just make it clear that you need some basic amenities and you will feel taken care of. Good luck!

Jessica1001
01-11-2013, 06:23 PM
Thanks so much for your support especially Jessica101 :) I see you as a great friend because this is one of the hardest situations I've ever been in, even though I've never met you!

Thank you so much to everybody else who has offered their opinions and support, too!I feel really lucky to have Stripperweb, to think that I stripped for about 7 years without ever knowing it existed!xxx

Thank you for saying that, my darling. It IS a tough situation, but based on everything you've said and how you've said it, this sounds like a relationship worth holding onto. Worth BUILDING, actually. It will likely take a ton of work to help this guy through his issues, but deep down inside he clearly has a wonderful heart, and he sounds like he would make a rock-solid partner. I'd say that trumps pretty much everything.

It'll be work, but what thing worth having isn't? Please continue to keep us posted with new developments. I'm still paying attention, and cheering you on from the sidelines. :-) <3

BluJ
02-05-2013, 06:28 PM
I think you've been looking on the bright side for a long time, hon, but made the right decision. If he does sort things out that will be a wonderful time of rainbows and sexings and lovely things (lovely CLEAN things), but until then maybe being on your own for awhile is a very good thing.


..Granted I'm no longer walking his dog and doing the washing/cleaning for him..

hehe perspective is important! Especially with what the place was probably before and after you were there.

whirlerz
02-06-2013, 06:13 PM
Aww sorry you're not feeling good, hope it gets better

Snowy0Star
02-28-2013, 01:45 PM
Ive been watching this thread since I joined SW November of last year so I wasnt around for the brunt of the thread but I'm glad hes starting to get help. Maybe you can be a part of his therapy? Ask Neil and his counsellor if its ok to be an active partner in his therapy. Maybe you can get updated and see when the counsellor thinks its a good time for you to start nudging him to get the house squared away? Hes only going to do it when hes ready but with a situaiton like this I think only his counsellor would know that. I think it would mean a lot to Neil if you did it might let him know that you still care and still wanted to be a part of his life and hed be more willing to get the place tidied up. You cant help others unless they help themslef first you realize that witch is good for your over-all well being. I do think you guys have great potentail to having a great life together witch is a beautiful and rare thing and how his taking everything you've thrown at him in such stride in your attempts to help him - hes truly a beatiuful person.

Ok enuf mush now the funny time - Is Judas burried yet? XD

Snowy0Star
03-15-2013, 10:53 AM
I'm updating again to say we're full on back together and okay. He's improving his health and lifestyle, I've been helping with the clearout and stuff. I love him and he me, and there's no sense in us being apart-we can get over practical issues and I think with me kicking him up the ass, we will do :)

Does happy dance =^y^=
Thats great to hear that hes ready to clean up the place and you guys have been working together on it. Take after pix when its all done : P