View Full Version : Going Sober staying in the industry
zivlet
01-30-2013, 09:17 PM
I've never been an 'Alcoholic' but I'm used to always having a bit to drink at work-sometimes getting tipsy never drunk. Nevertheless, I wanted to stop doing it-I want to not rely on drink as a crutch, not use it to be 'sexier' or give hotter stage shows like I felt it did for me. Also, It's always much easier, safer, (and usually cheaper!)to drive to work and back than it is to mess about with public transport and taxis or rely on lifts.
When it got very cold here in the UK a few weeks ago I drove to work because I just could not be assed traipsing to the train station dressed up in winter woolies or hanging about in the cold-I wanted to just jump in my car and go. I decided at first to do this the one night only out of laziness, then I earned as much as I ever do, drank water all night, felt it didn't bother me-wasn't half as difficult as I expected, and thus I drove the next night as well. And the next weekend!
I have a safety net, if I get bought champagne or wine and really do fancy a drink, I'm good friends witha bouncer and a couple of local to the club girls and I can always stay over-that kinda makes me feel better . If I feel I CAN'T drink, it makes me want to more. If I know I can, but know it's easier for me all around if I don't, I fare better.
As I'm moving house and public transport isn't an option, I'll HAVE to drive to work. And I'm actually feeling okay about that. I cant stay over because I'm lift sharing with another girl. Granted she'll drive some nights, but I may even offer to drive most of the nights we both work, just because I feel empowered to be a now mostly-sober dancer!:)
I've not read all of the recent posts, hope I'm not too off-topic :)
Flickdreams
02-18-2013, 06:20 AM
Update: I'm 6 months sober at work (bar 2 VIP booked out nights, and I ended up not enjoying the feeling, go figure).
I don't call myself an alcoholic but have gone to AA and NA meetings with my hubby (who is a recovering addict) and read a lot of the literature which has helped my mindset. I am a problem drinker.
I recommend SMART too- we tried that for my hubby before he got sober with an abstinence program. It's based on a lot of CBT and therapuetic community style group sharing.
Some books I recommend: http://www.amazon.com/Sober-Good-Solutions-Drinking-Succeeded/dp/B004Z4M35C
and http://www.randomhouse.com.au/books/jim-maclaine/when-someone-you-love-is-addicted-to-alcohol-or-drugs-9781863252751.aspx (12 steps)
CallieErotica
12-19-2013, 11:41 PM
good luck! I'm 7 weeks sober yesterday and just started dancing again. It's hard. But it's safer and i'm lucky that my club doesn't force drinks. In fact, we have NO fees of any kind... stay strong, alcoholism is no joke and I didn't know that it affected way more than ur liver. and delirium tremens is nothing to mess with. keep it up!!! u wont regret it!!
MissFoxxx
03-16-2014, 03:32 PM
Just checking in cuz its been a long time, it was kinda cool to read my OP since so much time has passed. I am now almost 18 months sober... I am in AA now because I found it difficult to stay sober long term without a support group. I recently celebrated my one year date in AA because a year ago I had one drink, but other than the one drink I haven't had a drop since Sept 25 2012!
I have been on an 8 month break from dancing due to a severe injury, but before that I spent about a year traveling and dancing sober, and made really good $$$, WAY more than when I was drinking. I am healther, lost weight, have better hygeine, and am more focused on my hustle at work. I eventually came back to that same small club and was more firm with the owner, and they got on board with me being sober, especially after seeing how much money I was making! I am getting texts still checking in to see when I am ready to come back and work my weekend night shifts.
SO grateful to be clean and sober today. I was really in a dark place when I started this thread and I managed to climb my way out of that pit with a lot of support and hard work. I encourage anyone who is struggling with addiction to step back and think about the long term effects on your life, health, happiness, and $$$. And try Smart Recovery or AA to get the help you need :)
lokikola
07-18-2014, 11:10 PM
Awesome update MissFoxxx. I'm hitting six weeks sober this weekend. It's not always easy but so worth it. I'm much happier and that changes soooo much in my life. I was afraid I'd have to quit dancing because I'd be too tempted but I've been determined and successful so far. I'm very proud of myself. I quit drinking outside of work too. I don't ever want to drink alcohol again.
chibii
07-30-2014, 12:09 AM
I just wanted to share that I celebrated my first YEAR of sobriety this month. It was a big freaking deal, I cried happy tears for the first time in yearssss. I work as much as I am able to physically, without exhausting myself or stressing myself out too much. 2-5 days a week. I am also in school. It was really a challenge in the first few months to stay sober while working because I had cravings, withdrawal, and a TON of bad habits to break. Now, staying sober has become a habit. My cravings are gone except for the rare occasion. I work at my sobriety outside of the club also, I dont just white-knuckle it. You really cant do that for too long. AA works for me, you might find it useful too but whatever works for you might be different. Some things I did in the beginning to help was ONLY working morning/day shifts because night shifts have more of a "lets get fucked up and party" vibe with the dancers AND customers. Limiting myself to only working the required hours, not staying longer than I should so temptation wouldnt grow and lead to exhaustion (like I should drink to keep me going or watching too many people get wasted as the day goes on when I could not lol) Not hanging out in the club before or after, GO HOME, count your money and rest! If you work longer hours for more money, I say its not worth it to stress over. I always put my needs first, stay positive because the money will STILL come! Changing the group of dancers I associated with (drinkers/drug users) Packing food and yummy beverages with me, so I stay satisfied through my shift. Going in and starting my shift well rested. Having something to go home to and look forward to (for me it was yummy dinners/whatever tv show I was marathoning on netflix, making phone calls to my loved ones) Never let any customer pressure you into drinking or why you dont drink, they will sometimes ask why, but say whatever excuse you want. Dont be ashamed, no one actually gives a fuck, promise! I say I dont like the way it makes me feel. Simple, honest, to the point so I can get back to opening his wallet. My sobriety at work is a strength now. I might not make money from the table that wants to get the dancers drunk, but that is so okay with me, plenty of gals to take their shots and their money while I am focused on other prospects that dont require me to drink. Stay strong <3 You can fucking do itttt! Congrats OP!!
missjzone
03-06-2015, 10:26 PM
Congratulations!!
dezire
03-17-2015, 11:06 AM
In a couple months it will be a year sober for me. This industry can give u a substance abuse or an addiction problem. That in turn can lead to a whole boatload of horrible life altering problems. And I do mean that...This job is cut throat and the girls u think r ur friends as soon as u leave the room r making snarky remarks..I trust no one..Its better that way..b pleasant but me personally I have an "I dont give a shit about what u think about me attitude". In reality as long as I try to get along w the girls I work with and primarily focus on the customers who r into me-- I truly dont care. Alcohol can b numbing, numbing can help u get through unpleasant people and circumstances, but it can take over. I do not really get into my life with the girls I work with nor the managers...Some know I dont drink,,Others dont...I am able to be sober without the help of AA or additional counseling..But both of those are excellent avenues for support. Remaining sober no matter what it is u have an issue with is empowering...It can boost ur self esteem. I know it has for me...Its much more difficult to live life sober..Especially when anxiety, anger, frustrations etc kick in...Thats where a strong mind comes in. When we set our minds to certain things in life, there is no stopping us. This can hold true for anyone. And remember any effort is better than no effort and should be commended. :)
Flickdreams
07-12-2015, 08:43 AM
sober 2 days at work now.
HA- still haven't had a drink at work! and I'm up to 2years and 3.5 months IRL.
Nadia_
08-31-2017, 08:06 PM
This is a really helpful thread and I appreciate all the stories I've read here.
Amazing testimonies ... the honesty and openness ...thank you ladies