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yoda57us
10-30-2012, 07:24 AM
I understand the relative cynicism and sense of realism that many here have developped. But i dont share it.

Well, honestly, there's nothing wrong with being optimistic about it as long as the optimism is reality-based. This particular thread went off on a tangent when a few guys tried to liken strip clubs with singles bars. That's when things get stupid. Could you possibly date a dancer? Sure it happens. Would a dancer be interested in dating a customer? Well, yeah, sometimes but it's not why they go to work and not why customers should be going to the club.

About 20 or so years ago I used to work with a band that played the club circuit around New England. Three or four times a year they used to take-up residency at the Providence Marriott which, at the time, housed one of Providence's very popular night clubs. The place, a well known pick-up joint, would be packed almost every night and a fairly large contingent of dancers from the local strip clubs used to hang out there on their nights off. Why? Well, they were looking for guys but the guys were divided into two distinct groups. There were the "eligible guys" who would get a phone number and then there were the guys who didn't stand a chance. The later group would get the sales pitch. "Hey handsome, I'm dancing tomorrow night at the Foxy Lady. Why don't you stop by and see me. We'll have a great time!"

The key is to understand that crossing over from being a wallet to being an actual human male is rare and it's not the priority. Making money is.

Plopplop
10-30-2012, 08:55 PM
I agree. My post may have generalized in the opposite direction but wasnt my intent.

its possible, you have to have judgement i guess.

Theres plenty of guys who cant tell when a nonstripper likes them either. (We all have friends who think the waitress loves him because she smiles when she says hi)

mercedes1018
11-03-2012, 01:59 PM
I've dated 2 customers. I'm somewhat ashamed to admit it, and both turned out badly.
One was just a pathetic loser who couldn't talk to women in a normal environment.

I always felt he thought of me as not a "real" person and instead more like my dancer persona (by that I mean always happy, friendly, never anything wrong)
I was sick one time and he was turned off. I guess I ruined his fantasy.

The second was a well known drug dealer. (also ashamed to admit, I found out about the drug dealing a few weeks into the relationship)
He too, didn't see me as a real person. Someone with a life (like going to school) and who wears normal clothes (TNA and lululemon) outside of the strip club.
Instead he treated me like arm candy, expected me to never have an "off" day where I want to wear juicy sweats and order pizza.

In conclusion, custies can't separate the real us from the fantasy us they have come to know in the SC.
I will never date another. Nor will I date a man who frequents strip clubs in general.

Almost Jaded
11-11-2012, 12:06 AM
Oh boy. At least SOME of the replies are on topic - this one has some potential if we're careful.

It always amazes me, the way the "I would NEVER date a customer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!1!" replies fly in these threads like geese in autumn; yet those responses fly in the face of the FACT that MANY dancers' SO's were once customers - though it is noteworthy - seldom regulars. I would say offhand that about 1 in 4 dancers I know that are in LTR's - good or bad - met their SO at work. Not so strangely (to me, anyway) - that's almost exactly the same percentages you'll see in other lines of work, be it dating someone they met working together or someone they met in the course of work. The situation is always much different - because the situation is different. But the resulting number of relationships seems about the same. Less odd is the percentage that work out (far lower), and the manner in which they tend to end (far more of them end rather spectacularly). Less odd, because it's no mystery that many (most) men can't handle dating a sex worker of any kind, and because everything involving guys at that level of insecurity and women who become strippers (low self esteem, issues - or very high self esteem, with issues - or very high self esteem, and a very clear head - missing is very low self esteem with a good head - very few of those) are not the sort to take things lightly (for reasons that vary with the generalization made previously). Note that these are ALL generalizations, and there are many exceptions to all of it.

I will note this for the guys reading, and perhaps for the girls to ponder... Most guys who meet a dancer in the club and DO end up dating her, it comes together in the first visit. For each additional "at work" meet-up, the odds of it becoming anything other than an "at work" relationship - i.e., stripper-client - drops dramatically. This doesn't seem to change with how much the guy spends - although the spenders are more likely to get that date on the first visit.

In short - there are Pros and Cons, and it is different than any other situation. But it also happens more than people seem to think - although again - the percentage of customers that get a date OTC, or the percentage of customers that a dancer will date in her career vs number of men she will meet - is MINISCULE. WAAAAY lower than the .02% mentioned on page one, more in the area of .0005%. That's one in 2,000, and that's a very hastily constructed - but actually thought out - estimate. I know some dancers that are closer to 1 in 500, and some that are closer to 1 in 5,000; and some that really, truly, are 0.

But the point remains that the percentage of dancers who DO date a customer at some point, is a LOT higher than these threads tend to imply. But I imagine an accurate Pro/Con list would look more like this:

Pros: Not many, and no different that dating a guy anywhere else, other than possibly that you get to see how he bahaves around you with your clothes off before anything involving taking of your clothes actually happens.

Cons: Lots and lots of cons, and at the top of this list is (should be) the fact that 90+% of guys who *think* they want a relationship with a dancer, find out they can't handle it - and tend to make this the girl's problem. This, more than money, more than wondering if they go to SC's when IN a relationship, more than ANYTHING, is why most strippers don't date custies - ESPECIALLY more than once or twice. Either they tried it and the guy's jealousy/insecurity ruined things and made her life hell - or she knows 238 other girls who tried it with that result and chooses to learn from her/their mistakes.

Vyanka
11-11-2012, 12:56 AM
The most common con: he met you as a sex object. He will see you as a fun casual play toy that he scored at the strip club. Is not gonna want anything serious with you. He will also be seen as a human atm.

Hey, if two ppl met at the club and had a strong connection/chemistry & it worked....great. but its not a common thing to happen. Just don't be annoying, trying to date someone....especially if you aren't spending some serious cash. We're trying to pay bills here. Fkn annoying. It is not a regular bar. have your fun, then leave.

sananeko
11-14-2012, 12:21 AM
I tried to read thru this.. maybe later..

But I will never date a man/women wanting to date my job and I will never date on the job. Its simple as that. But if by some stalking moment I meet the guy/women again outside.. I probably still wouldn't date them cause I look so different off the job the only way you know it was me is if you were following me... And that boys and girls is creepy..

charlotte.
11-14-2012, 12:33 AM
the only pro I can think of is that he probably has money to spend. but the cons are basically everything else.

Djoser
11-14-2012, 03:23 AM
The most common con: he met you as a sex object. He will see you as a fun casual play toy that he scored at the strip club. Is not gonna want anything serious with you. He will also be seen as a human atm.

Just don't be annoying, trying to date someone....We're trying to pay bills here.

That's it in a nutshell.

CoraAngel
12-10-2012, 01:49 AM
Well, I won't be listing the pros and cons, because everyone is different.
When you're in a small town or island (i'm in Guam at the moment) the options are limited. In fact, the only guys I would date out here are military and the only pass time that the military has is to go to strip clubs and bars. So you're bound to meet the majority of the people here in your club. Either they got dragged in with their friends or they just enjoy hanging out and drinking or they're there to see girls. Either way, I've dated a few of my customers. I wouldn't normally in a big city, but out-here you really have no choice.
In fact, I have this amazing customer, who always blows a lot every time he sees me. Well, we clicked really well and going on a date on Thursday. Sure, I may lose him as a customer, but honestly... I don't mind taking a chance.
Maybe I should take the business side more seriously, but I'm lonely, he's a wonderful guy and he spent a lot on me.
I'll tell you what though, if a customer is cheap, I will never date him. I lose respect for them. It may not be fair, but it's like if you can't tip me, or even afford a dance, then you probably can't afford taking me out on a date. I want a guy that is generous!
I remember I really liked this one guy that I met at a bar. He came to see me at work one time, even though he swore he never would, but I was bored and so was he, so he came. He didn't buy me a drink, didn't tip me on stage. Nothing. I was so disappointed at the lack of appreciation, especially since I sat with him for almost an hour, that I refused to see him again.

But that's just me. Everyone is different.