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lestat1
06-18-2014, 06:17 PM
That is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen.... where can I get this?! I pay double for my pineapple because I'm too lazy to cut it and end up buying it pre-sliced.

The amazon link below the picture takes you to it (http://www.amazon.com/OXO-Stainless-Ratcheting-Pineapple-Slicer/dp/B007WTGR90/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1403110235&sr=8-1&keywords=pineapple+slicer+oxo).

It really works perfectly. From pineapple to a perfectly cut and cored spiral slice in less than a minute.

audrey_k
06-19-2014, 11:49 AM
They won't deliver to me because I'm in the UK, I'm gonna have to do a search for it!

Kellydancer
06-19-2014, 11:53 AM
Party at Lestat's!

Anna_Dea
06-19-2014, 02:01 PM
I've got SAVINGS in my bank account...

This past month has been rough, to the point that I had to make a very embarrassing call to my mom and ask her for half my rent... she gave it to me and didn't lecture me because she knows how proud I am when it comes to that kind of thing and I wouldn't ask her for money unless I literally didn't have it and had done everything I could to get it, but it was pretty humiliating. I haven't gone grocery shopping all month because I was too worried to spend anything. I didn't buy the conditioner I usually use because it was too pricey. I took the fucking bus to save money on transportation.

But the money has been rolling in in the last week and a half and it's SO nice to have savings and enough to pay my bills for the entire month, 8 days in. I'm been on such a super-conservative mode that I'm kind of afraid to spend money just because it makes me nervous, but I'm going to let myself go grocery shopping tomorrow and take a trip to Selfridges to buy new make-up from Mac as a gift to myself for working my ass off... I'm just SO grateful to not be living hand to mouth at the moment.

Hi, Audrey. Poor girl... I am very sad to read that. I only worked in Kiev and I can't imagine that situatian in europe strip clubs was so bad.... It's awfully, that a good dancer and nice girl can't earn enough money in London (!). I was so innocent about stripping in Europe... But my last hope is to earn some money in Luxembourg in the nearest future.
I wish you good luck and earn a lot of money :))) You are a man of spirit!

Anna_Dea
06-19-2014, 02:04 PM
I've got SAVINGS in my bank account...

This past month has been rough, to the point that I had to make a very embarrassing call to my mom and ask her for half my rent... she gave it to me and didn't lecture me because she knows how proud I am when it comes to that kind of thing and I wouldn't ask her for money unless I literally didn't have it and had done everything I could to get it, but it was pretty humiliating. I haven't gone grocery shopping all month because I was too worried to spend anything. I didn't buy the conditioner I usually use because it was too pricey. I took the fucking bus to save money on transportation.

But the money has been rolling in in the last week and a half and it's SO nice to have savings and enough to pay my bills for the entire month, 8 days in. I'm been on such a super-conservative mode that I'm kind of afraid to spend money just because it makes me nervous, but I'm going to let myself go grocery shopping tomorrow and take a trip to Selfridges to buy new make-up from Mac as a gift to myself for working my ass off... I'm just SO grateful to not be living hand to mouth at the moment.

Hi, Audrey. Poor girl... I am very sad to read that. I only worked in Kiev and I can't imagine that situatian in europe strip clubs was so bad.... It's awfully, that a good dancer and nice girl can't earn enough money in London (!). I was so innocent about stripping in Europe... But my last hope is to earn some money in Luxembourg in the nearest future.
I wish you good luck and earn a lot of money :))) You are a man of spirit!

lestat1
06-19-2014, 10:03 PM
Party at Lestat's!

Shit dawg, it's a LAN Party and it's so off the hook it interrupted my modem!

ScarletKitten
06-20-2014, 07:07 PM
I want a beautiful tropical garden with a huge water fountain/ waterfall installation in the middle. I want to grow all kinds of fruits, vegetables, herbs, flowers, and mushrooms. I'm going to retire and just grow plants all day and trip on shrooms every full moon.

audrey_k
06-21-2014, 11:05 AM
I got the MOST disturbing request ever today:

"Hi, my name is *****. I saw your profile and you seem sexy and very open-minded which is exactly what I am looking for in a woman. I see that you are open to role playing and I just want to let you know what my fantasy is before-hand, as some might find it a bit strange.

I would like you to dress up as a schoolgirl and act like you are 10, 11 years old. I will be your babysitter and I will start touching you inappropriately. I need you to act like you are uncomfortable with me touching you. It's not a rape fantasy per se but it is along those lines. I know it's a bit naughty but it is my fantasy. I am willing pay double your normal rate.

Hope to hear from you, cheers ***"

A bit naughty? No it's fucking sick and it makes me feel sick! Not a rape fantasy per-se? No, it's fucking pedophilia AND rape which makes me even more disgusted. I have no issue with the school-girl thing, I always bank when I go full-out in school girl costume at the SC, but this is taking it to a WHOLE other level. I almost wish there was somewhere I could report him. I know you can't criminalize someone for having bad thoughts, but I also know sex offenders tend to begin by having their fantasies role-played for them and then when that isn't enough they move on to the real thing.

Elektra Luxx
06-21-2014, 02:52 PM
I would like you to dress up as a schoolgirl and act like you are 10, 11 years old. I will be your babysitter and I will start touching you inappropriately. I need you to act like you are uncomfortable with me touching you.

What would make a person get turned on by this shit!!! It's fucking twisted!

audrey_k
06-22-2014, 03:56 AM
I have so many twenty pound notes in my wallet to deposit from yesterday it won't zip shut.

;)

Sorry guys after last month I just have to brag a little bit. :)

Elektra Luxx
06-22-2014, 12:23 PM
My ex called asking if I wanted some company this morning. I told him "You can come over, but don't expect anything I'm on my period and don't feel good". He came over anyway with breakfast and coffee. He is such a sweety!

Vyanka
06-22-2014, 05:20 PM
U.S.A.!!!
U.S.A.!!!
U.S.A.!!!


Bitches!!!

lynn2009
06-27-2014, 01:35 PM
The girl who is interning at my day job today asked me who my manager was so I told her & she followed up with "I was just wondering since I see you going so many different things all the time". Yup...

audrey_k
06-27-2014, 02:27 PM
I have gotten like 6 e-mails asking for bookings on the 4 of July. I NEVER get requests to book over a week in advance! I feel like it's a conspiracy and they just want to dominate an American girl on the day we kicked England's ass. I will not be having sex with any English people on the 4th of July I will be wearing red/white/blue and drinking at the Independence Day party at Benjamin Franklin's old residence and then staying up late so my friend can send me live footage of fireworks at the beach.... if I get some random American expat looking for a booking then I will take him up on it but the English can fuck themselves!

SexedUpCat
06-27-2014, 03:18 PM
I'm really happy (:

audrey_k
06-27-2014, 03:21 PM
And I will be wearing these shorts. They were bought especially for the occasion.

http://i602.photobucket.com/albums/tt108/missus_mia/shorts.png (http://s602.photobucket.com/user/missus_mia/media/shorts.png.html)

chanzep
06-27-2014, 04:34 PM
I did a early today which, I never do on fridays and feel weird being at home now, but I am craving to eat a snack but im not hungry ugh, Im just trying to sip water.

lynn2009
06-30-2014, 05:36 PM
I have a twin sister and today is our birthday. My sister texted me that there was a video of our 3 yr old nephew singing happy birthday to us on facebook and I don't have my own account so I logged in w/ my mom's to watch, and he is the cutest thing! When he got to the part of the song w/ our names my SIL was like "R*** and A*****!" and he paused and got all indignant and was like "Not both of them!" And she was like "Yes, it's both their birthdays, they're twins!" And he wasn't having it lol he was like "No! Not both of them! I don't want to!" Then my SIL was like "Just say happy birthday and I love you" and he did and it's soooooo cute.

misssincere
06-30-2014, 06:00 PM
I was never to keen on smoking weed... But these last two months have been hectic and I've been smoking weed everyday and I'm extremely happy about it ☺️

Elektra Luxx
07-01-2014, 07:13 AM
I was never to keen on smoking weed... But these last two months have been hectic and I've been smoking weed everyday and I'm extremely happy about it ☺️

The guys I work with have turned me on to Xanax. I've been popping "zanies" like candy lately to chillax after work. I like the way it makes me feel when it hits. I don't give a fuck about anything I'm stressing about but coming off I feel like shit.

Djoser
07-02-2014, 02:34 PM
I am sitting here watching Aniela do an Iguana on my pole...shes really good!

audrey_k
07-02-2014, 03:15 PM
The guys I work with have turned me on to Xanax. I've been popping "zanies" like candy lately to chillax after work. I like the way it makes me feel when it hits. I don't give a fuck about anything I'm stressing about but coming off I feel like shit.

Careful with that stuff, do it everyday and you'll become physically dependent and have a seizure if you don't take it! 2nd most dangerous thing to detox from...

Aniela
07-04-2014, 06:31 PM
For all you current & future fans of the Almighty George Carlin:



Drawn from his 'Playing w/ Your Head' album.

simone87
07-22-2014, 09:16 AM
just got the most epic typo from my regular..woke up to " i had a dream about you shitting on my face"..then another one saying " i mean sitting! sitting on my face".

PinkGeisha
07-22-2014, 10:25 AM
/beginrant
I hate being a Gemini.
I hate being in "limbo" right now.
I hate not knowing what I want, or DON'T want, from life.
I hate spinning my wheels, not feeling/being motivated, inspired, or happy.
I hate this mess I've seem to have gotten myself into.
I loathe the insane amount of weight I've been gaining, and the fact that I've haven't had the fucking willpower to shave it all back down through food and exercise.

I love how my Adderall helps me bitchslap all that into perspective for me again like a normal human being.
/endrant

Elektra Luxx
07-22-2014, 12:48 PM
Am I the only one who had to look up who "Bela Lugosi" was on Wikipedia? (Mentioned in the "Confession Thread")

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bela_Lugosi

Elektra Luxx
07-22-2014, 12:54 PM
I want this car! I need to learn how to drive a car with a manual transmission.

http://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sale/vehicledetails.xhtml?zip=78211&endYear=2015&modelCode1=911&showcaseOwnerId=0&startYear=1981&makeCode1=POR&listingType=used&listingTypes=used&searchRadius=100&showcaseListingId=0&mmt=%5BPOR%5B911%5B%5D%5D%5B%5D%5D&listingId=356671418&Log=0

xStacey
07-22-2014, 01:16 PM
I am totally addicted to Candy Crush O.o

Kellydancer
07-22-2014, 04:20 PM
The most underrated band in rock and roll? Duran Duran.



I miss actual good music. There are still great bands around but mostly it's tween crap.

audrey_k
07-22-2014, 04:28 PM
I seriously had the fucking HOTTEST client ever on Sunday... he was an Irish guy, mid-thirties and had the sexiest accent ever, he was awesome in bed and seriously the hottest client I've ever had, I mean I would've paid him. He had booked for 2 hours and we were having a really awesome time, and then 1 hour and 45 minutes later he tells me he's married with two daughters and his family is in Ireland for the weekend and coming back the next morning... and that's he like, super Catholic and doesn't believe in the pro-choice movement...

Even though those two things were such an utter turn off, I've been thinking about him a lot. I REALLY liked him, we ended up going thirty minutes over (which he paid me for) because were were having such a great time just talking. I never like clients like that, even if they were a good client I don't think about them afterwards just hope they book again.

Aniela
07-23-2014, 12:33 AM
God bless cheese, esp provolone.

Provolone is beautiful, & provolone is life. Therefore life (thru cheese) is beautiful.


{I may still be a little bit drunk from my [belated] bday celebration. Check back tomor nite. Drunk or sober, I stand by my previous cheese-praising statements.}

audrey_k
07-23-2014, 05:51 PM
I seriously had the fucking HOTTEST client ever on Sunday... he was an Irish guy, mid-thirties and had the sexiest accent ever, he was awesome in bed and seriously the hottest client I've ever had, I mean I would've paid him. He had booked for 2 hours and we were having a really awesome time, and then 1 hour and 45 minutes later he tells me he's married with two daughters and his family is in Ireland for the weekend and coming back the next morning... and that's he like, super Catholic and doesn't believe in the pro-choice movement...

Even though those two things were such an utter turn off, I've been thinking about him a lot. I REALLY liked him, we ended up going thirty minutes over (which he paid me for) because were were having such a great time just talking. I never like clients like that, even if they were a good client I don't think about them afterwards just hope they book again.

Have been texting back and forth nonstop with him since Sunday. What the fuck is wrong with me??? Ugh.

safado
07-23-2014, 06:03 PM
the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside"

MyButter
07-23-2014, 07:23 PM
I'm so effing glad that MC Hammer pants have been revived. They're so comfortable :D

Kellydancer
07-23-2014, 07:35 PM
I'm old enough to know what that means.

safado
07-23-2014, 07:59 PM
And the sign says "Long-haired freaky people need not apply"

Kellydancer
07-23-2014, 08:45 PM
So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why.

safado
07-24-2014, 03:30 AM
He said you look like a fine outstanding young man, I think you'll do



















https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDw4lsPDEho

Kellydancer
07-24-2014, 01:00 PM
So I took off my hat, I said "Imagine that. Huh! Me workin' for you!"

MyButter
07-24-2014, 01:04 PM
Lol, whoops.

safado
07-24-2014, 01:13 PM
I completely forgot about that song until that "is this a sign?" thread lol

Kellydancer
07-24-2014, 01:23 PM
Me too until now. I remember both versions and now it's going through my head.

SexedUpCat
07-25-2014, 03:33 PM
Ahh FUCK. It's starting to storm here, and while I was feeding the horses, a bag blew behind my mare. Well, she freaked out and bolted through the gate to the paddock (the stalls are connected to the paddock) where she gashed open her hip. I cleaned it but now I'm stuck waiting for the vet to come stitch it up and help me rig her stall so she can't go outside and run.

I could still make it to work, but I'll make it up next week. The storm's looking worse, and I need to close the horses in before another one gets spooked and injures itself.
Thank God for flexible schedules.

audrey_k
07-25-2014, 05:39 PM
I don't normally see young clients but I saw this guy Thursday evening as he seemed pretty mature (he's 23). He was kind of cold when he first showed up, but he really warmed up to me by the end and I could tell he was totally infatuated with me as he asked me if he could see me at the same time next week. He sent me this msg today:

"hi beautiful. I hope you had a nice trip to Birmingham today and are not too tired. I just want to make sure we can still do an appointment for this Thursday? I would like to make an appointment with you every Thursday at the same time. I had so much fun yesterday and I want to be able to look forward to it every week so can you please leave that spot open for me. I know you want your clients to confirm and make bookings requests so I will do that every week if you will leave that time for me. Sleep well x"

I just thought that was the cutest msg ever and for how cute it seems to me I think that means I really need to get a life outside of escorting! LOL

simone87
07-25-2014, 07:04 PM
god, i just went over a week without sex and when i finally got it..omg. longest,strongest orgasm i've ever had. my vision was almost blurry aft wards and i felt light headed and giggly. TMI maybe, but damn!

Kellydancer
07-25-2014, 11:27 PM
I had two sexual dreams sort of last night. First dream I kissed Stephen Colbert when he was sleeping. He is really cute and sad that even in my dreams the guys are either not interested or are asleep, lol. Oh well, he's married anyway :D. My second dream was really graphic and I dreamed I was giving my crush a blowjob. I hope this one comes true. I have way too many dreams about things like going to church or re arranging my CD collection.

minnow
07-27-2014, 09:12 AM
Some recent bathroom wall wisdom. (Actually several index cards taped to bulletin board by washroom sink)

1) "Arguing with a fool only proves that there are 2"

2) "Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough not to let it happen again" 8)

audrey_k
07-27-2014, 04:41 PM
My cleaning lady is coming tomorrow and I forgot to hide my like 10 boxes of regular/large/latex/non-latex condoms, 10 tubes of lube, and box of sex toys.... oh well I'm not taking a bus back over there and back just for that....

lynn2009
07-28-2014, 08:40 PM
The little sister of a friend (started college the same year her sister and graduated) emailed me tonight for guidance on job searching stuff and it's so cute.

Vyanka
07-28-2014, 11:36 PM
Wow. I live with my bestie and her 5 cats. One of the cats said my first name clearly!! That was so fkn impressive. Hehe