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Nerd
02-25-2013, 01:02 PM
Pretty women pretending to have interest in you can have an intoxicating effect on the new-to-SC-guy. Remember they are on the clock and need to get paid. Don't think too hard about what they say or do... just enjoy it and remember it's an act. Even if you lure one to a hotel (as I've done) or have them lure you to a hotel (as a couple have done to me) it is still fantasy.

AlissaDoll
03-24-2013, 11:41 AM
You fell for it hook line and sucker.
She won! Get over it!


What a hoot! I am now a member of Stripper's Web! I never thought I would be asking advice about an interaction related to the club world, but, life gets stranger the more it trudges on. Anyways, I will provide enough detail to get the point across in this first post. If any of the ladies care to dialogue and ask for clarification on anything, I will be happy to provide it, I just don't want to clog this up with more minutiae than I already will be providing. Due to marriage issues, things on the home front are not great. Nothing uncommon here, I guess. My reasons for going to clubs are not all that different either: due to the aforementioned circumstances, seeing beautiful women dance with varying degrees of clothing on and off is appealing. Jeff Foxworthy stated it rather well, regarding the simplicity of men and their desires. Nothing new under the sun. I do in fact understand quite a bit about clubs, except for the one thing I will get to, eventually. What I do get, 1000%, is that clubs are "fantasy land". I get it, I get it. The other main reason I enjoy going is that in it's purest form of functionality, clubs are a place that you can go to and if you encounter the best kind of lady, she will (in the context of fantasy land) make you feel like you are special, for that amount of time. No mystery in that either, there's an implied ethos that, in the words of Donna Summer "I've got what you want, you've got what I need". Everybody ends up in a win-win if it plays out as simply as that. HOWEVER, my disconnect comes with this particular transaction last Tuesday evening: After about an hour, a young lady (and I mean YOUNG) comes up and introduces herself, it is extremely positive, we end up talking almost the whole night, and at the very end there is what appears to be a fairly strong connection on a personal level. I also get (back to fantasy land...) that this is her job. But, ladies, humor me for a minute, it really did appear that there was a connection. I'm as lonely as the next guy who is in a similar situation to mine, but I do not think I am a complete idiot. My main job function is, for lack of any other explanation, to gauge character. That having been said, I also get that this transaction is more about emotion than intellect, so I do not rule out that I was simply hearing what I wanted to hear. Fair enough, decent possibility...

OK, so, here's how things ended. BTW, I am probably older than her father, so, if you can, take at face value that my intention was and is not to get OTC action, nor to "date" her. About 20 minutes before I left, she came off stage and I asked her if she wanted a drink. I then gave her $20 in her hand and said (can't wait to get the responses on this...) that I realize she is working, that this is a tip for her dance and a thank you for her time, but that I could never "get a dance" from her, as I felt that her value to me as a person would not allow that. My guess, at that point, although her demeanor did not at all change, was, "damn, this guy will never be a customer". Now, I realize that from the standpoint of this particular world's etiquette, this was probably the kiss of death to any idea of real friendship. So be it. The next 20 minutes's conversation did in fact intensify, and ultimately she said (not exactly verbatim, but close): "you're someone that I feel could be important to me". I handed her my business card, and said that "it was her call" if she wanted to ever get together for lunch, tennis, whatever. I do believe she got that I was not asking for OTC, it really seemed to be that pure of an interaction. She said that she would text me her number "by Friday or so". She has not.

There could of course be many reasons why not. Perhaps in the bigger picture, it's all really good. However, that's not the issue. OK, my general understanding is that there's a mutuality to the transactional process IN the club that is something to the effect of: (guy): she's hot, she made me feel special, I'm going to keep seeing her and giving her money for her services (girl): he's a nice guy, he's not rude or gross, he is willing to spend money so I will do what I can to make and keep him as a customer. Ladies, is it as simple as, I broke the chain by saying I could not do dances with her? It may be? "If" all other things being equal, I had done dances, is it likely she would have done as she promised (and, trust me, that's what she "promised" she would do). Here's where I'm going with this. If you (girl) tell me you also enjoyed the dance, that's a subjective statement, I can neither confirm or dispute what you are telling me. Again, I get that it is your job to do that. Same thing for "I like you as a person, you're nice, I enjoyed your company, etc."). I can't dispute your words. BUUUUT...when you explicitly state you will make contact, and then you don't, I can use my brain and life experience (duh!) to deduce that you are not/were not being truthful. "If" the goal is to secure and retain repeat business, isn't it wise to follow through on transactions that are empirically verifiable and/or challengeable? Realizing that I have shut the door with my assertion about no dances, still, isn't there a challenge from her standpoint to try to reverse that? Just thinking out loud. And, finally, the question at hand, what possible advantage under any scenario could there be to saying you will make contact and not doing so? Again, her demeanor for the last 20 minutes did not change. I would have thought that when I closed the bank she would have simply done a 360 and toned it down or put the kabosh on any thought of it, but even as I was walking out the door, I was reminded she would be in touch. Maybe she's just too busy:D. Whew! Feel free to call me ugly. That may be what I need. TIA...

Holly_V
03-31-2013, 12:37 PM
While I agree that this guy clearly wasted a LOT of the dancer's time this seems like a good place to interject that, (a) he made it clear he wasn't buying a dance and (b) it's her job to drive her customer interactions. If she sat with him for more than ten or fifteen minutes after that tip I'm sorry boys and girls but it's on her, not him if she wasted her time. Our hero, while clueless, is still a man and no man is going to send an attractive dancer away unless he is waiting for another. It's on her to cut her loses, get up and leave.

Why did she stay? I'm betting that the club was slow, she had a small fish on the line and figured she would see where it went. After she realized he was not going to tip her anymore she planted the OTC seed in hopes it would make him feel "special", "different", "more than a customer" or whatever BS terminology we want to use here. Clearly it worked. Our hero is smitten enough with this young lady that he took the time to register on Stripper Web and compose one of the longest opening salvos in recent memory. The fact that his business card probably wound up in the trash within seconds of him leaving the club has not occurred to him yet. The dancer has absolutely nothing to lose here. If the rookie never goes back to the club to see her she has lost nothing but a bit of her time. If he does go back he will get the cold shoulder until he opens his wallet.

Whilst i agree that a dancer should know not to waste so much time without securing some kind of payment I still think what he did was very rude. If a customer seems really interested in spending time talking to me it is somewhat implied that he will buy a dance or tip at the end, considering you are in a strip club he should have known that this girl was working and expected to get paid.

FasaCorp
03-31-2013, 03:46 PM
Whilst i agree that a dancer should know not to waste so much time without securing some kind of payment I still think what he did was very rude. If a customer seems really interested in spending time talking to me it is somewhat implied that he will buy a dance or tip at the end, considering you are in a strip club he should have known that this girl was working and expected to get paid.

You could also look at this another way. Maybe he figured the dancer was sending signals that she was really just taking a break. Heck, maybe even she made her goal for the night and decided to "coast" the rest of her shift instead of going home. Believe it or not, there are dancers out there who don't hustle every minute of every hour of every day they are at work, just like salespeople on commission.

flyguy29
04-01-2013, 06:24 AM
A real topic to discuss is the kind of tactics a dancer would use to create the fantasy. The downside to making the infatuation sound "real" is that the customer believes it and takes the money out of the relationship.

Holly_V
04-01-2013, 07:20 AM
Believe it or not, there are dancers out there who don't hustle every minute of every hour of every day they are at work, just like salespeople on commission.

Now now, no need to be rude

AmyLynne
04-20-2013, 05:18 PM
he's another delusional one. and she has no game as a hustler. total time waste and we're all dumber for having read that post!

:)
04-21-2013, 07:50 AM
She was trying to establish you as a regular or get cash out of you. I'd say a vast majority of guys have been there including myself.