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Via Flaminia
12-12-2012, 10:47 PM
Hi Daylen,

I feel for you on the housing part especially. I live close to SD (you mentioned your city in another thread), and the prices for housing are out of control. People don't understand what a problem it is. The *average* price for a one-bedroom apartment in my area is $2050 per month!

This creates a lot of stress and it's really hard to get that unless you've lived in an expensive city and had to struggle. I would leave California if I didn't have family obligations, and this is a big reason why.

Anyway, my dear, I'm so very sorry that all of this is happening at once. It sounds like you are being proactive. On top of everything, you are doing it alone -- so difficult. You made it this far and I am keeping you in my thoughts.

Send me a private message if there is anything I can do (since I live not toooo far away). I am serious about this, it's not just Calif bullsh*t. :)

Daylen Rae
12-12-2012, 11:34 PM
Thank you so much KortneyKay!!! I sincerely and genuinely appreciate your wisdom!! AND thank you for letting me know I'm not alone in this and your kind words of 'motherhood'. I almost cried...:) and your right about just 'being a good mom' thank you thank you thank you!! AND I will most def look into getting 'help' for a place too!! That's amazing advice and I truly hope I qualify!! AGAIN...THANK YOU!!!! I really needed to hear that!!! <3

VoluptiousBriadda
12-13-2012, 01:58 AM
Warning! Its long,but I couldn't sit here and not give you suggestions when Ive been involved in charity work for so long!
* were you able to push back your rent date any,if you paid late fees by any chance?

there are soooo many organizations/charities/donors out there especially at Christmas time! does your state have the blue santa program by any chance? I dunno if anyone has ever heard of it,but they offer it in my state and they give toys to impoverished/needy children.
Call your case worker(im assuming you have one since you said you were waiting on government assistance) and ask if she can refer you to any organizations/charities that will let you apply to put your child on an angel tree.My husband and his brother were on an angel tree one yr when their father was serving time,and he still talks about how it was the best Christmas they ever had.The ppl who bought them the toys even signed them all from their father.
I have a friend who is the leader of our local autism society for children,and they get together and donate presents every yr to several children that are in need.my mother is in several groups at her church and they donate also,in addition to the insane amount of gifts the actual church itself gives away.often,parents and teachers will get together and give a classmate of their child and their family food and toys for xmas if they know they aren't going to have one.have you talked to your sons school?

there are SO MANY willing organizations/ppl out there,but you have to reach out and find them,and then take the actual step of asking for/applying for help.i know its not easy,but love trumps pride every time,so its better to swallow it and ask for help than not being able to give your baby anything on Christmas!
I became involved in donations/charity work over ten yrs ago,while still in high school actually.I buy food for our local soup kitchen in bulk,especially around holidays,and I also bring boxes and trash bags full of toys for them to hand out to the children that come to eat.I always get several angels off of the angel trees,(usually I work the angel tree at the mall every yr as well) until i started camming,i couponed my ass off and then gave most of my stockpile away to homeless shelters,ppl in need etc.

This yr,a friends sister cannot afford to buy her son anything for xmas either.but it just so happens that her 3 yr old is just now getting REALLY into dinosaurs,and my son just became totally uninterested in them.So,Im giving her all of my sons dino toys,bedding,wall pics,etc.I stopped counting the toys at the 500th dino! (yes,he was OBSESSED,aaaand i used to spoil the shit out of him,hes an only child,and absolutely adorable,i couldn't help it lol) So now hes gonna have an AWESOME Christmas (what 3 yr old cares if the toys aren't new?he wont know the difference LOL!) My point to that lil story? there are no accidents/coincidences in life and life often hands you exactly what you need at exactly the right time.A friend of a friend of a friend may have bought 4 ipods in a fit of Black Friday passion,and is now looking to give 3 of them to 3 kids who really deserve/want one,for example.Once you ask for help,it almost always arrives in some form sweetie.

Please don't get the impression im trying to toot my own horn,the point im trying to make is that there are sooo many individuals out there that are ready and willing to help,and always the most at Christmas time.Many of them are just average joes or just barely scraping by themselves like my husband and I,who just happen to get the most joy and satisfaction out of life when they can help others in their time of need!BUT,in order to help,donors must be made aware of who they need to help! so don't be afraid to talk to anyone and everyone!Believe me,they WANT to help! They want to feel that extreme happiness,joy and love they'll feel from helping you! You never know who donates/is willing to help,there are probably ppl you know that donate and you don't even realize it.Many of us donors do it anonymously,bc we do it for the feeling we get,not the recognition or pat on the back.its an act of selflessness,and most of us live by the "pay it forward" code.so start putting that bug in everyones ear,itll spread further and wider than you realize.

Places to check off of the top of my head for angel tree applications/toys and food are (its 3 am,ill probably have to edit this part 4 million times over the next 2 days)
Goodwill,Salvation Army,Food stamp/Medicaid office,SS office,Catholic Charities,food Banks,homeless shelters,soup kitchens all local churches,your sons teacher,your sons principle,local societies such as autism societies/red hat sisters,local coupon groups,local restuarants and stores etc

GOOGLE! google your city + angel tree. google words like Christmas charity,needy children,toys wanted for Christmas etc etc for your area.Often you can find newspaper articles and other information regarding toy drives,financial assistance,where to apply if in need etc by simply putting in a few good hrs of sifting on the web!

And of course,Id make money any way possible at this point.Donating blood and plasma,pawning anything and everything (i got a gun,wii,old laptop,video and digital camera sitting in pawn right this sec,when youre broke,ya gotta do what ya gotta do!) Do you have enough stuff to have a small garage sale? Craigs list! Id try just about any and every suggestion on this thread-and you got some really good RARE advice girl,advice that most new posters asking how to make money quickly never get here! you got lucky,so don't take the suggestions for granted mama!

how old is your son and what is he into at the moment? what does he NEED?what does he WANT? I cant make any absolute promises,as we are sooooo super broke this yr,but I can certainly talk to ppl and get the word out at the very least,its so easy to find willing wonderful ppl this time of yr!
Youre gonna make it through this,i KNOW itll work out for you somehow,it always does,you just have to have faith and believe!

sorry 4 the short novel, i wanted you to see that asking for help isn't just about you,but is equally for the givers as well,so that maybe it wouldn't make you feel so bad to ask for help,if you are having a hard time doing so.and to give you some ideas of where and who you can reach out to for help...

Cam_Model_Jess
12-13-2012, 08:21 AM
I want to add something from only my experience from when I was a child. I think all these organizations are great and helpful, and that you SHOULD apply for assistance AND ask for gifts for your child if that's what you want. I think it's awesome that people donate to children who wouldn't otherwise have gifts. But I also want to say that Christmas isn't ONLY about gifts. In fact, that's just what people have placed the focus on.

When I was a kid, my mom used to spend SO much money on Christmas gifts. The space under the tree was completely filled with gifts and it was magical to come out Christmas morning to that sight. What the BEST memories I have are of baking cookies with my family, eating Christmas dinner together, and being together all day long, from dawn until late into the night, telling stories, laughing & enjoying one another's company.

One year my mom took a job that was below her abilities & training (just for money to buy gifts), and at this job they ended up making her clean toilets and she hated it. Now I have cleaned a lot of people's toilets in my day and I applaud those who do housework/cleaning. But it was painful for her to work 50+ hours/week at the job she's had for decades, where she was respected, and then go to work at this store where they treated her like a stupid teenager and gave her zero respect. I was ANGRY with her for going there because I knew she was only doing it to buy gifts for us. And I didn't want ANY of those presents. I wanted my mother to have her sanity, dignity, and hope. THAT'S what I wanted for Christmas.

Do whatever you need to do to keep your family safe and happy. But remember that what every child wants most is to feel safe and LOVED. Everything else is secondary. You are a wonderful mother, and I wish you the best.

sexyred
12-13-2012, 11:40 AM
I used to work as a case-worker for women attempting to regain custody of their children (until I decided I realllllly like being a full-time cam bb :D). You never know what sort of generosity people are willing to extend until you ask. Last Christmas, I was able to contact several agencies in my city who included my clients' families in their toy drives. In fact, one organization was in NEED of families to donate the gifts to.

I agree though, about the memories being the most important part of Christmas. Bake cookies, watch awful claymation holiday movies, drive around looking at lights, etc. It's the little things!!! Sounds like you are a great and caring mom. Things will turn around, they have to!!!!

VoluptiousBriadda
12-13-2012, 02:04 PM
I want to add something from only my experience from when I was a child. I think all these organizations are great and helpful, and that you SHOULD apply for assistance AND ask for gifts for your child if that's what you want. I think it's awesome that people donate to children who wouldn't otherwise have gifts. But I also want to say that Christmas isn't ONLY about gifts. In fact, that's just what people have placed the focus on.

When I was a kid, my mom used to spend SO much money on Christmas gifts. The space under the tree was completely filled with gifts and it was magical to come out Christmas morning to that sight. What the BEST memories I have are of baking cookies with my family, eating Christmas dinner together, and being together all day long, from dawn until late into the night, telling stories, laughing & enjoying one another's company.

One year my mom took a job that was below her abilities & training (just for money to buy gifts), and at this job they ended up making her clean toilets and she hated it. Now I have cleaned a lot of people's toilets in my day and I applaud those who do housework/cleaning. But it was painful for her to work 50+ hours/week at the job she's had for decades, where she was respected, and then go to work at this store where they treated her like a stupid teenager and gave her zero respect. I was ANGRY with her for going there because I knew she was only doing it to buy gifts for us. And I didn't want ANY of those presents. I wanted my mother to have her sanity, dignity, and hope. THAT'S what I wanted for Christmas.

Do whatever you need to do to keep your family safe and happy. But remember that what every child wants most is to feel safe and LOVED. Everything else is secondary. You are a wonderful mother, and I wish you the best.

Cue my epic fail music in three...two...one...! You my dear,are absolutely right and hit the nail right on the head!!!I hope no one thinks im some materialistic bitch who only sees xmas as gift giving/receiving time now! I posted all of that bc she stated she was extremely stressed that she couldn't give her son a Christmas,yet I got so caught up explaining how she could get help,that I overlooked stating the most obvious truth-that he doesn't NEED presents as long as he has a loving caring mother.

I can absolutely understand her stress about not being able to afford it though,bc a mother gives gifts to show love and bc she genuinely WANTS to,she loves the joy it brings her child.Its the same reason why I donate so much,yet on a much deeper level.No,Im not saying you gotta buy your kid gifts to show you love them,believe me,i had a dad that tried to fix everything he did wrong by buying us off with presents,it got old QUICK.Even if you cant afford gifts or find help Daylen,your son will still love you regardless!children are much wiser than we give them credit for and depending on his age,he may be able to accept that he wont get any gifts this yr relatively easy,especially if he sees or feels how upset you are that you cant.Children are amazingly empathetic and want to comfort their parents in times of stress/upset etc

whatever happens,i wish you the very best of luck Daylen!

Cam_Model_Jess
12-13-2012, 03:28 PM
^I don't think anyone thinks that, least of all me. :)

BlkSharpie
12-13-2012, 04:12 PM
I dont think so at all either... I mean, as a parent, you of course want to provide the basic necessities, and you love and want to take care of your kids, but there is also that inner feeling of not wanting to let down or disappoint your kids. You want the very best for them, not just the bare necessities. You want to make them smile and be happy, not just content. Its natural...

I mean, I have busted my butt so hard to make sure I can do things for kiddo...I def dont have to, and she knows how hard I work..but its probably one of the most amazing feelings in the world to know she really appreciates it, and that she knows that I do it because she means so much to me. If I cant, no skin off her back! I have had to delay Christmas or her bday, just get her something really small or get creative. She has never complained...

So really, either way...as a parent we want the very best, we want our kids to have as much as we can give them, but as our kids, they are just as fine and happy with being safe and loved. So its understandable to try, but dont feel beat up if things dont work out. No matter how much I try to do for kiddo, its not enough, not cause of her making me feel that way...but cause of me, I will always think she deserves it.

Daylen Rae
12-13-2012, 08:54 PM
That makes a lot of sense for sure! I grew up with parents who were free spirits and much older when they had me. I can't judge their parenting but I was def never spoiled and half the time forgot about, so I know that I have 'issues' when it comes to that and its a constant daily reminder telling myself I deserve good things. Then I look at my son and wonder how they could've ever felt any different. All I want to do is reassure him that he deserves great things. I feel very empathetic toward him wanting 'things' as I know the feeling and I never want him to have to endure anything less than what he deserves.
Thank you so much for your kind words!! I think we all gotta be reminded of these things every once and again :)

Sugarmama
12-14-2012, 10:30 AM
i am in crisis so i figured I would add it on to this thread going to try exhausting myself and keep my spirits up and mind in positive mood it is hard when i want to breakdown.

CourtneyRaine
12-14-2012, 11:04 AM
In addition to everything that's already been posted, Mormon churches are incredibly giving and it doesn't matter if you are not a member. I am a Mormon (inactive at this time) and I can say that my local church does SO much for helping the community. We have something called "Fast Sunday" once a month where all of the tithing goes to people directly in the ward (neighborhood) regardless of your religious affiliation. My bishop is wonderful, they bring food to families wo need it and often know don't even know it's them so you don't have to worry about benig preached to. They'll just ring your bell, leave a few bags of groceries on your doorstep, and leave before you even get to the door. They also help with rent and will write checks to cover rent payable to your landlord if you are in need and they see that you are trying but you're just falling a bit short. It's definitely something worth looking into.

KimKlass
12-14-2012, 11:14 AM
I'm sorry you didn't make your goal :( This month is super rough on a lot of cam girls. How old is your child? If they are young enough, dollar store gifts will satisfy them. You don't need much to make their Christmas special. This too, shall pass hun.

VoluptiousBriadda
12-14-2012, 01:53 PM
^I don't think anyone thinks that, least of all me.

aww :'( thx Jess and Sharpie!:grouphug: I hope you didn't think I was insinuating that you had made me look bad or something Jess, I was simply mad at myself and embarrassed that I wrote this giant freakin post,and then forgot to include the real meaning of Christmas :ashamed: Santas gonna shit in my stocking this yr for sure

Snowy0Star
12-14-2012, 09:08 PM
Daylen Rae where are you staying right now? And is everything ok as it relatively can be right now?