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View Full Version : Have your SC experiences affected your ability to relate to "civilian" women?



Morty the Mortal
12-26-2012, 01:30 PM
Have your experiences with exotic dancers made it easier or harder to connect with women who have not worked in clubs?

yoda57us
12-27-2012, 02:41 PM
Honestly I have just about zero interest in civvie girls at this point. This is not necessarily reflective of my thoughts on civvie girls vs. dancers but more due to the environment that they are found in. For the most part I'm more comfortable in strip clubs than I am in regular bars. The last time I met a girl in a regular bar that I ended up seeing (lol, for a week) was the bartender at a hotel bar in Miami where I was working/staying for a week. She was Brazilian and I knew I was in trouble when she told me that the third Mojito was on the house...

Anyway, other than that experience I've been pretty much hanging in strip clubs for 25 years and that's where I like hanging. Since I've become single I wouldn't say I go looking for "dates" but I do take what's offered. Breaking the ice is pretty easy with a dancer. If she has half a brain (and I'm not interested in the ones who don't) she will start the conversation and work to keep it moving. Maybe it's an age thing but I have no interest in a LTR and most definitely no interest in dating drama, just looking for a good time. It's pretty easy to find older, unattached dancers at the clubs who are not looking for a BF or looking to "party" but simply looking for a nice night out once in a while...works for me!

Morty the Mortal
12-27-2012, 04:56 PM
I'm undecided. Paradoxically, perhaps, my limited SC experiences (7 LDs so far) have made physical attractiveness LESS important to me when I look at (presumably) civvie women as potential romantic partners. I recently met a very interesting woman that I would rate a 6 on physical attractiveness. I asked her out. In the past, there have been a couple of occasions where I met somebody like that, and tried very hard to talk myself into finding them attractive because they had great personalities, but just couldn't get past their homeliness. But now I know that I can go to a SC to get what I can't get from a woman like that (purely physical gratification), and conversely, even the plainest woman can give me something I can't get at the SC (real emotional connection and real sex), if she has the right "interior" qualities and no physical defects that a light switch can't fix. But I'm not sure this is a healthy way to approach relationships.

I guess I'm asking the question because I've been alone for a long time, but I'm not ready to give up on LTRs yet, and I wonder if going to the SC is going to make it easier or harder for me to make that kind of connection. I could see myself taking yoda's path if I don't get into a relationship soon.

rickdugan
12-27-2012, 09:29 PM
I guess I'm asking the question because I've been alone for a long time, but I'm not ready to give up on LTRs yet, and I wonder if going to the SC is going to make it easier or harder for me to make that kind of connection. I could see myself taking yoda's path if I don't get into a relationship soon.

SCs are not a substitute for LTRs. In fact, going into SCs while lonely, and with that mentality, can get you into a lot of trouble.

Yoda, from what I have been able to gather on here, is simply done with LTRs. He was married for a long time, has a grown child and seems to be comfortable living as he does now. For him it seems to be solely about casual entertainment and, in fact, he has gone months at a time without visiting a club, which belies any notion that he is using them as some type of relationship substitute. Now I'm done speaking for Yoda and I'll let him speak for himself. ;)

If I were ever to be divorced from my wife, I might take the same view. I am in my 40s, on my second marriage and have 3 children. LTRs are a lot of work and are very constraining so, if my wife and I ever divorced, I have trouble imagining myself wanting to get mixed up in another one anytime soon, if ever. But that view has nothing to do with strip clubs, even though I am a regular patron of those establishments. Strip clubs are entertainment, not real life.

Anyway, just my thoughts on the matter.

yoda57us
12-28-2012, 06:41 PM
In the past, there have been a couple of occasions where I met somebody like that, and tried very hard to talk myself into finding them attractive because they had great personalities, but just couldn't get past their homeliness. But now I know that I can go to a SC to get what I can't get from a woman like that (purely physical gratification), and conversely, even the plainest woman can give me something I can't get at the SC (real emotional connection and real sex), if she has the right "interior" qualities and no physical defects that a light switch can't fix. But I'm not sure this is a healthy way to approach relationships.

Hmmm...I'd be a little careful with this thought process. While it's true that many married guys go to clubs to escape into the arms of a beautiful young woman who is somehow more exciting than their wife waiting at home I think it's dangerous to plan on living this way over the long haul. Eventually you willend up comparing the dancers you see to the lady at home and it could ruin a good relationship. Trust me, there were many contributing factors to my 27 year marriage melting down but I'd be lying if I said I never compared the personalities of the dancers and escorts that I spent time with over the years to the personality of my ex. Over time it's only natural.


I guess I'm asking the question because I've been alone for a long time, but I'm not ready to give up on LTRs yet, and I wonder if going to the SC is going to make it easier or harder for me to make that kind of connection. I could see myself taking yoda's path if I don't get into a relationship soon.
It's not as cut and dried as choosing one over the other. I'm in a particular place in my life and so are the dancers that I end up seeing socially. I've also spent 25 years clubbing and was hanging out with dancers way before I became single. I've earned the trust of the ladies I do see over a period of years. It's never been as simple as just walking into a strip club and lining up a date.

rgbg
12-29-2012, 06:06 AM
They are two different worlds. The SC is a delicious alternative treat for me but I don't live there.

Hauptmann
04-15-2013, 09:26 AM
After spending some time and money talking to dancers, I've found it easier to talk to women in general. I've also found that some have danced in the past, or have wanted to. It also seems easier to get some chicks to open up and talk about their crazy sex lives/dreams/notions.