Log in

View Full Version : How do you get a normal job?



Pages : 1 [2]

dezire
01-07-2013, 12:25 AM
I'm happy this worked out well for you PPP, but you had several advantages that made this so easy to pull off, which others may not have: (1) You have actually served before, so you DID have experience and knew how to do the job. For someone who has never served before, this wouldn't work because the manager would realize on Day 1 that you had lied. (2) You actually had someone legitimate willing to vouch for you as a reference. Not everyone will be able to convince their manager to lie for them like that. (3) That assistant job doesn't sound like it requires any specific skills but you only got it from a personal connection, not from lying (it sounds like he offered it to you seemingly based on the notion that his friend's girlfriend needed a job, and you later told him you had some experience). You basically had the "perfect storm" of getting straight jobs without recent experience, and your lies were easily baked up.

OP, do keep in mind that if you get caught after getting hired, you will be fired, so tread carefully and if you go this route, don't entirely fabricate your resume. Think about things you can actually do or even have far-off experience in that you could quickly pick up again. Also keep in mind that may employers do actually check for references, so if you can find some friends to vouch for you, that'll go a long way.

A personal assistant job like PPP's might be worth looking into as well. You don't need any particular skills like you would as an administrative assistant, so employers may be willing to overlook your lack of experience (or at least consider your slightly exaggerated experience if you go that route). It's also a good way to gain administrative assistant experience and network so you can move up to more specialized (and thus generally better paid) work.

I agree alot with what u r saying here. The poster had a connection..Alot of us do not have the luck to have that..And Im def not one to go get into peoples' faces who I dont know to try and get a job...Its tough especially if someone who knows u from dancing recognizes u n ur straight job if u lie and bs to get it..u could end up losing ur job bc of too much bs.

Ellieanna
01-07-2013, 09:45 AM
Melonie - if this is not too presumptious or obnoxious - is there a thread anywhere where you share a little about the type of financial strategies you followed and the type of investing you did? Of course if this is information you have kept private I totally understand - we can and should all figure our own shit out!! I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask though because I am pretty impressed!! ;D

avacheetahs
01-08-2013, 06:42 PM
So much good stuff going in this thread already, but I will chime in with my experience and advice. I left dancing in 2007 and applied at a temp agency. I did have my AA degree which I think got my foot in the door. Other than that I had a spotty resume which I explained with school.

The first temp job I landed was at a hospital as an administrative assistant in an HR/OD dept. While I had computer skills, I was not familiar all of the programs being used. Google became my friend. It was the corporate culture and office politics that were difficult. I was always worried that someone would be able to tell by looking at me that I was a dancer. However, I busted my ass and faked it till I made it. I made sure to make myself indispensable and go above and beyond. I learned a computer technology that the former assistant managed and no one else wanted to deal with. They eventually hired me permanent. I think the key was making as many friends as possible who were willing to help me when I needed it. I went on to have a career in HR/IT for five years going from making 12/hr as a temp to 70k last year.

I never knew anything about the industry I began working in but I found my niche and stuck with it. I carved out the position that I wanted by suggesting projects that I could do. Anything I could find that could demonstrate a value add in terms of productivity or cost cutting I would volunteer for. I did the crap no one wanted and would find a way to improve processes wherever I could. Eventually I was able to do things that interested me because I freed up time. Being regarded as more valuable than just an admin assistant was key in moving up.
I know not everyone will be as lucky in finding a temp to hire position that worked out like mine, but the key is getting your foot in the door. Once you start to assimilate in that world, it will feel more natural. There’s a whole corporate way of being that I had to learn. Once you are accepted and become a member of that world it is easier to find opportunities. Things you would never see from the outside will open up.

If possible, I would try to get on at a larger firm. Many of them have tuition reimbursement programs. I was able to go back for my Bachelors using those funds while working. Many larger firms also use one or two temp agencies to fill temp jobs so finding an agency with good contracts will allow you in. Once you work for one of these, it will be easier to get hired elsewhere bc you will have the name recognition going for you on your resume.

From working in HR I can say that yes they do want experience, but they also want to find a person who is going to be a good fit. Your personality goes a long way, especially when competing for an entry level position. Be honest and candid. There may be areas that you lack experience in, but demonstrate that you want to learn and have a plan on how to get there. Have a sense of humor and be real. I remember sitting through many panel interviews with candidates who lost out because they seemed robotic or uptight. We wanted someone who we could be comfortable with.

The biggest challenges I’ve had doing normal work have always come from my own self doubt. What helped me get my mojo was remembering all of the things I learned from dancing. In this industry I think we get a PhD in people- you know how you can size someone up in seconds. When I began to use my hustle on civilians in the workforce, I realized I was pretty damn charming and could think on my feet. In a way, I think being a dancer was my secret weapon.

Anyway, if you have read this far, thanks for letting me share my story. I just came back to SW and it’s awesome to see the support for one another happening still. SW is one of the reasons I was able to get my shit together in the first place.

Peace and Blessings : )

summerbre
01-08-2013, 06:53 PM
I agree alot with what u r saying here. The poster had a connection..Alot of us do not have the luck to have that..And Im def not one to go get into peoples' faces who I dont know to try and get a job...Its tough especially if someone who knows u from dancing recognizes u n ur straight job if u lie and bs to get it..u could end up losing ur job bc of too much bs.

Dezire, when I was in school and pursuing vanilla work inbetween dancing (internships, jobs, etc.) I was SO not the kind of person to be assertive about being hired. But I learned through the competitive research positions I got with two different professors, and asking a regular to help me get hired when I was fed up with dancing, that being assertive is a very valuable skill and almost necessary to excel in any industry. I'm introverted by nature, and was a very shy child -- on my days off the club I stay home and write for my day job. I can speak from experience, just because you're not the "type" to get in peoples' faces asking for a job...It doesn't mean it's not something you can't learn how to do, as it would benefit you greatly if you're trying to get out of dancing and break into a new industry.

There are many books, How to Win Friends and Influence People being one of them, that help teach you the skills to be assertive and ask for what you want. I'd say in this job market, learning how not to take no for an answer (and how to get people to say yes!) is a better tool than even a degree, second only to experience.

As far as anyone recognizing you... If they recognize you, they were probably a customer, and probably don't want anyone knowing that either. I'd say it's safe to assume anyone who recognizes you would be expecting a mutually kept secret. I think it's irrational to be afraid of this, if only for that reason.

One of the posters mentioned - pick something you want to go for, and go for it 90-100%. Be assertive! Being a "go-getter" isn't a second-nature thing for most people, myself included. It's something you have to learn.

charlie61
01-08-2013, 07:11 PM
On one level, it's impressive. On another level, that sort of advice is rather negative, unhelpful, and discouraging.

Melonie gives amazing financial advice, but she and I butt heads on this whole education vs. spend your life stripping/camming/etc. thing.

Check out Dollar Den for some of her fantastic threads!

Ellieanna
01-09-2013, 12:10 PM
Thanks Charlie...I think both ways can work, mainly because with this biz, there are just so many unknowns - you never know when you are gonna break a leg (God forbid, but you know what I mean) - no insurance, no security. You can ride that wave for a while but it doesn't last forever. Get what you can and always have a plan B. I think the absolute key to the Plan B or even just making stripping your A and B is passion, desire, enthusiasm - when you have those you can move mountains.

dezire
01-09-2013, 12:34 PM
Dezire, when I was in school and pursuing vanilla work inbetween dancing (internships, jobs, etc.) I was SO not the kind of person to be assertive about being hired. But I learned through the competitive research positions I got with two different professors, and asking a regular to help me get hired when I was fed up with dancing, that being assertive is a very valuable skill and almost necessary to excel in any industry. I'm introverted by nature, and was a very shy child -- on my days off the club I stay home and write for my day job. I can speak from experience, just because you're not the "type" to get in peoples' faces asking for a job...It doesn't mean it's not something you can't learn how to do, as it would benefit you greatly if you're trying to get out of dancing and break into a new industry.

There are many books, How to Win Friends and Influence People being one of them, that help teach you the skills to be assertive and ask for what you want. I'd say in this job market, learning how not to take no for an answer (and how to get people to say yes!) is a better tool than even a degree, second only to experience.

As far as anyone recognizing you... If they recognize you, they were probably a customer, and probably don't want anyone knowing that either. I'd say it's safe to assume anyone who recognizes you would be expecting a mutually kept secret. I think it's irrational to be afraid of this, if only for that reason.

One of the posters mentioned - pick something you want to go for, and go for it 90-100%. Be assertive! Being a "go-getter" isn't a second-nature thing for most people, myself included. It's something you have to learn.

Thank you for ur time and energy..I know that within the dance world I am confident and speak my mind freely to anyone and everyone...But outside of the comfortable blanket of the dancing world I dont feel assertive bc quite frankly Idk what its like to work outside of dancing..Ive tried it before and found that the few jobs that I tried were min wage 7.50/8 an hour and that didnt pay the bills, or else I just didnt have the qualifications to sit there and brag and talk myself up for some high paying job..I interviewed well for those min wage jobs bc those positions could be filled by idiots and I knew I was far from that...I had the confidence to see me through the interviews plus I knew someone who worked at those low paying positions at the time..I guess I just need to bullshit more self confidence but if the interviewers start looking for related job experience..Well, I dont have it and cant lie..."Waitressing for over 7-10 years isnt exactly a job way to get n at a big company(and u can only bs so much)..Corporations dont want to hire long standing part time students who waitressed for many many years...Thats what scares me..And if I sat there and came up w some ellaborate lie of how I worked for this company and that company if they really wanted to do a backgroound or even credit check...unfortunately dancer is on there..Thats why lying can only take u so far..

dezire
01-09-2013, 12:38 PM
Thanks Charlie...I think both ways can work, mainly because with this biz, there are just so many unknowns - you never know when you are gonna break a leg (God forbid, but you know what I mean) - no insurance, no security. You can ride that wave for a while but it doesn't last forever. Get what you can and always have a plan B. I think the absolute key to the Plan B or even just making stripping your A and B is passion, desire, enthusiasm - when you have those you can move mountains.

Dancing has been my plan a, b, and c...Now its the transitioning out thats a real pain n the ass... And when u make it ur plan a b and c its very easy for dancing to no longer be ur passion though..I applaud those girls whove been doing this for over 10 years like me, but I dont think its easy to be all that enthused at this point..Its great it u r though..

Ellieanna
01-09-2013, 12:49 PM
Dancing has been my plan a, b, and c...Now its the transitioning out thats a real pain n the ass... And when u make it ur plan a b and c its very easy for dancing to no longer be ur passion though..I applaud those girls whove been doing this for over 10 years like me, but I dont think its easy to be all that enthused at this point..Its great it u r though..

Girl, I hear you. I am not enthused about anything right now -- that's why I have a feeling that if I WAS it would be way easier to get past the many obstacles to getting out. What I meant is that I think that when you just have a desire to get out but you don't know where, what, or how, there is less energy and power behind that than having a specific dream. The just wanting out in general makes us hate dancing even more. Granted, finding something you are passionate about is easier said than done. Don't give up though - there are many different avenues. A girl I worked with just started a wine education company which she launched through Groupon, Living Social etc, and another dancer I know read "The Four Hour Workweek" and "What Color is My Parachute" and started an online business selling wholesale lingerie. Someone else I know was talking about finding a local seamstress/fashion student and partnering with them to design better dancer gowns, since so many of us are tired of the same brands. No matter what anyone has been doing for the past ten years, besides maybe smoking crack, they HAVE acquired an immense amount of knowledge and skills. Sometimes if no-one will give you an opportunity you have to make your own. One advantage you have if you were to launch some kind of business is that you have access to cash flow, which is what stops most people. Anyway, like I said, I don't exactly take my own advice, but it is something to think about. Good luck.

Melonie
01-09-2013, 02:11 PM
Melonie - if this is not too presumptious or obnoxious - is there a thread anywhere where you share a little about the type of financial strategies you followed and the type of investing you did? Of course if this is information you have kept private I totally understand - we can and should all figure our own shit out!!


On one level, it's impressive. On another level, that sort of advice is rather negative, unhelpful, and discouraging.

Melonie gives amazing financial advice, but she and I butt heads on this whole education vs. spend your life stripping/camming/etc. thing.

Check out Dollar Den for some of her fantastic threads!


First, allow me to say that I really don't take any 'pleasure' in posting economic related stuff which ( given today's real economy ) comes across as negative and/or discouraging. But, from my own viewpoint at least, we are all adults here - thus repeating 'rose colored' stuff from mainstream financial media and keeping quiet about negative financial realities isn't going to help any dancer or camgirl in the long run.

As far as my own opinions on the 'value' of a college education, I have stated in many other threads that attending college in any form has 'value'. However, given today's tuition costs versus post-graduation employment prospects / starting pay rates, it remains to be seen whether or not a college education is a 'positive' investment in pure dollar terms. I will again raise the issue of 'lost opportunity cost' ... i.e. the amount of money that a dancer or camgirl will NOT be earning while studying, but COULD be earning if she were putting in a 'serious, full time' effort as a dancer or camgirl. Or put another way, the decision by a dancer or camgirl to obtain a 4 year college degree might involve $100,000 in tuition costs. But it might also involve an additional $200,000 in 'lost opportunity cost' i.e. 4 years where she could have earned $50,000 per year more via full time dancing or camming had she not been studying.

My formula for a successful personal financial strategy started with three basic goals ... A. to earn as much money as I possibly could as quickly as I could ( within my personal limits ), B. maintaining my previous 'poverty' level private lifestyle while saving every dollar that I could, and C. by legally minimizing the amount of taxes I had to pay on the dollars that I ( and later my investments ) was earning.

Ellieanna
01-09-2013, 03:50 PM
Thanks Melonie, I agree, and what scares me is that it is not at all clear that the economy is going to get better. I know all too well from my time on the fringes of the political world in DC that what we read is usually part of the marketing/PR propaganda machine be it Democrat or Republican. Money is always power, it is always freedom, and it does facilitate your dreams....even more so the cold, hard cash we are so fond of tucking into our G strings.

I have a friend who decided to go gung-ho and worked as an escort, banging it out, literally and metaphorically, both day and night at a mid-level price, which while it is not up my alley, certainly shows what is possible. She lived so frugally but saved about $150,000 in 8 months.

The money and it's potential is a huge bonus for us if there is nothing else calling your name, or a huge facilitator if there is.
That said, if you have something to do that is more important to you then do it....money isn't everything.

GlamourRouge
01-09-2013, 06:58 PM
I think the dancing vs vanilla job debate is dumb. You just have to make a decision for yourself. Weigh the pros and cons of the adult industry vs a vanilla job. And remember, there are other adult jobs besides dancing.

For me, it really comes down to the fact that all my vanilla career passions would force me to work my underappreciated, overworked ass off for like 40k, 50k a year max. And I just don't want to do that. Not right now at least. While it will probably happen in the future, I'm not going to be ready for the next 5-10 years probably because I want to make sure I have my apartment completely furnished with quality pieces to last a lifetime, and have a large nest egg. I want to take the time to explore my hobbies. I want to travel. I want to be able get up and go at a moments notice with nothing holding me back. I want to really nurture myself and my body to ensure that I don't suddenly need time off (but yes life happens).

I will assess the industry every few years until its not financially smart to stay in the industry. If that means I will be able to do this forever, cool. If not, not a big deal. You can't predict the future. You can't predict the future job market. You can't predict your future health. Too many factors to care about anything except for right now. You can always go back to school or start networking or start another business. Take it one day at a time and stop stressing. I mean, the WORST absolutely WORST thing that could happen is you start making $0 in the club every night which forces you to move in with a relative til you find a vanilla job you like/can tolerate. Not a big deal, everything works out. And at the end of the day, its still possible to live off a smaller salary, and if you're happier, its worth it. Just do whats best for yourself at that current moment. Things may change down the line, but don't let that deter you from doing what you want to do RIGHT NOW.

shanna dior
01-10-2013, 05:47 AM
^The problem with that approach is that not everyone has relatives or some other support system to fall back on when they start making no money in the club or decide it's time to transition out. Further, it's not that easy to get a job or start a business. It's not a matter of just deciding to go to school several years down the line, graduating, and then getting a job right off the bat. Employers tend to be quite biased against older applicants, especially those without any actual work experience. If, while you're dancing, you're keeping yourself relevant in your industry by volunteering, interning, networking, and doing little things here and there to keep your resume updated, it won't be such a hard transition. But it's just so unrealistic to think that in 5-10 or more years, when you decide dancing ins't for you anymore, you'll be able to transition quickly and/or with limited problems. Basically, spend the time while you're young following your dreams, traveling, pursuing hobbies, etc., but keep the future in mind and do *something* to make it easier for you when you're in your 30s or 40s and done with dancing.

charlotte.
01-10-2013, 06:21 AM
^^thats not true for all industries. there are several certificate/degree programs that feed their graduates into a job. someone said emt, which is a good example, also phlebotomy. teaching is another one, as there is a nationwide shortage of math and science teachers, especially in urban areas. these jobs could provide a better springboard for a better job.

becoming a licenced social worker qualifies you to work almost everywhere, such as schools, hospitals, prisons, and private practices. depending on your state, it could be very easy to get a low paying social work job that will allow you to jump to higher paying jobs, all the while under the same or similar state benefit plan. if you accumulate enough years with your state you can retire with full benefits and social security/pension. these jobs, especially the extremely low paying ones, arent desirable so the competition to get them is nowhere near industries like finance, marketing, etc, but if you stick with it long enough you could live a very comfortable life.

Ellieanna
01-10-2013, 08:58 AM
^The problem with that approach is that not everyone has relatives or some other support system to fall back on when they start making no money in the club or decide it's time to transition out. Further, it's not that easy to get a job or start a business. It's not a matter of just deciding to go to school several years down the line, graduating, and then getting a job right off the bat. Employers tend to be quite biased against older applicants, especially those without any actual work experience. If, while you're dancing, you're keeping yourself relevant in your industry by volunteering, interning, networking, and doing little things here and there to keep your resume updated, it won't be such a hard transition. But it's just so unrealistic to think that in 5-10 or more years, when you decide dancing ins't for you anymore, you'll be able to transition quickly and/or with limited problems. Basically, spend the time while you're young following your dreams, traveling, pursuing hobbies, etc., but keep the future in mind and do *something* to make it easier for you when you're in your 30s or 40s and done with dancing.


Agreed - while living in the moment, especially when you are young is cool but I have seen way too many dancers suddenly want or have to get out and struggle immensely, not having laid some kind of foundation.

GlamourRouge
01-10-2013, 10:40 AM
^The problem with that approach is that not everyone has relatives or some other support system to fall back on when they start making no money in the club or decide it's time to transition out. Further, it's not that easy to get a job or start a business. It's not a matter of just deciding to go to school several years down the line, graduating, and then getting a job right off the bat. Employers tend to be quite biased against older applicants, especially those without any actual work experience. If, while you're dancing, you're keeping yourself relevant in your industry by volunteering, interning, networking, and doing little things here and there to keep your resume updated, it won't be such a hard transition. But it's just so unrealistic to think that in 5-10 or more years, when you decide dancing ins't for you anymore, you'll be able to transition quickly and/or with limited problems. Basically, spend the time while you're young following your dreams, traveling, pursuing hobbies, etc., but keep the future in mind and do *something* to make it easier for you when you're in your 30s or 40s and done with dancing.


Lol you obviously did not read anything I posted in this thread I guess. The thing is, you can't lay ANY foundation unless you're immediately trying to enter that industry because the only real way to get a job is to network. You literally need to know someone who works somewhere in order to get hired. So laying a foundation is essentially pointless unless you dedicate most of your time to networking within that industry. Thats why I'm saying it makes lots more sense to just decide to be done with dancing, and then focus on a new career, than to go to school now for a degree you'll use ~*sometime in the future*~. Trust me, from someone who has already gone to grad school. School won't help you unless you've already befriended lots of people in your industry who can vouch for you, AND you actively want to take a position in that field. I guarantee, those who go for degrees now to use later, either never use them, or end up going back to school again anyway to make contacts and/or update their skills (the latter does not even need to be done).

And second, I cam and camming can be done around any other job really. Unlike dancing where you are stuck working certain shifts. I make more hourly camming than I ever did with dancing, on average. When I'm ready to transition, I can go back to my old industry, go back to the one I went to school for, or do something completely different. It just depends on which contacts I was to use, really. Networking.

Melonie
01-10-2013, 11:18 AM
The thing is, you can't lay ANY foundation unless you're immediately trying to enter that industry because the only real way to get a job is to network. You literally need to know someone who works somewhere in order to get hired. So laying a foundation is essentially pointless unless you dedicate most of your time to networking within that industry. Thats why I'm saying it makes lots more sense to just decide to be done with dancing, and then focus on a new career, than to go to school now for a degree you'll use ~*sometime in the future*~.

Very well put. I was 'hinting around' about this in my earlier posts. Indeed, these days, any college degreed job applicant is going to face the following ...

- any 'gaps' in the resume' must be explained ... thus 2-5-10 years between college graduation and retiring from 'stripping' is going to result in two things. Either the girl admits to the straight job employer that she was a successful 'stripper' ( and takes her chances on the employer's reaction ) , or the girl comes across as being unemployable / questionable due to the huge 'gap' in her degree / straight job related work history

- as technology moves faster and faster, indeed employers prefer hiring a recent college graduate with no degree related work experience over someone who graduated 2-5-10 years earlier that ALSO has no degree related work experience. And under today's unfortunate economy, most employers also have a wide range of job applicants to choose from who have a 2-5-10 year old degree but ALSO have several years worth of documented work experience that is directly related to that degree.

- as background checks get more rigorous, and as the IRS continues to 'close the loop' in regard to automatic reporting by 'employers', the odds increase with every passing year that a girl's past history of work in the adult entertainment industry is going to be discovered by a future straight job employer. While this matters much more for certain types of straight jobs than for others, it is almost always going to be a negative attribute. And if the girl happens to be swept up in a ( bogus ) club bust, it is guaranteed that any future straight job employer is going to discover her work history in the adult entertainment history.

So my take on the situation is basically this. Working at all as an exotic dancer carries some risk of negatively affecting future straight job employment prospects. Working as an exotic dancer beyond graduating from college additionally creates a 'gap' in the girl's straight job work history that is also going to negatively affect future straight job employment prospects. So if the girl is going to open herself up to these negatives by working as an exotic dancer, she needs to counterbalance this by cashing in on exotic dancing to the maximum degree possible.

GlamourRouge
01-10-2013, 02:51 PM
Well for gaps on a resume, I'd think that would be easy to fill in. I would personally just say I'm a freelance makeup artist because I did that for so long. There are a lot of "cover" freelance jobs. I think the issue is more just meeting people in the industry you want to be in. If you can't do that and you're looking for a job, you're pretty much screwed.

britneyireland
01-10-2013, 03:45 PM
The sales skills you've learned dancing can get you an entry level sales job. There are also lots of products you can sell via network marketing companies.

shanna dior
01-10-2013, 03:59 PM
Lol you obviously did not read anything I posted in this thread I guess.

I did, I just disagree with it having to be all or nothing. Just because you completed a degree young doesn't mean you have to go right into your career. You can keep dancing and enjoying the high income while still staying relevant in your field and networking so that you can actually transition out once you're ready without having to start fresh. I just think it's important to do things to actually stay relevant (part-time internships, jobs, volunteering, joining professional associations, etc.) while you're still dancing.

summerbre
01-10-2013, 04:56 PM
I actually agree Shanna on this one. I don't think it has to be "all or nothing" -- What Shanna advises is exactly what I've been doing since graduating. While stripping is my primary source of income and is feeding my savings bank, I still do freelance writing work (some technical science writing) and volunteer as a tutor for elementary and high school age students in math and science in order to transition back into the science industry when I am ready, so that my resume isn't bald and I have recent references and publications to back me up. But right now, stripping suits my lifestyle better, earns me hell of a lot more than any other job could, and I am ETERNALLY grateful for the adult industry!

Laying a foundation isn't pointless at ALL if you know what industry you want to get into! Yes, the only real way to get a job is to network, but "networking" involves bringing something to the table. When you meet potential employers or industry connections, you want to have some sort of background in the industry you want to get into. Saying, "Hey I really want a job in this industry, could you help me?" isn't nearly as impressive as approaching someone and saying "Hey, I've been doing X and Y in this industry for the last three years and would really like to transition into Z."

When I first started dancing I didn't "lay a foundation" so to speak, and it was only good fortune with a kind regular that landed me a vanilla job when I crashed and burned and couldn't handle stripping anymore. This time I'm going about it the right way, so when I eventually burn out on stripping (For personal reasons, I don't have the stamina nor the desire to be a career stripper, but props to the women that do) I have my "exit strategy" and don't have to rely on happenstance.

For anyone who doesn't plan on turning stripping into a decades long career, I think an exit strategy is essential. This involves not only preparing yourself to enter a different line of work, but making sure, as Melonie mentioned, that you're "cashing in" on exotic dancing to the maximum degree possible! If someone had told me all of this stuff my first time around entering the adult industry, I would've had more to show for it when I quit the first time. I'm not making that same mistake again. It's a little too whimsical to say things will just "work themselves out." Sure, they probably will, and that's a great outlook to have if only to minimize stress! But why not take advantage of the flexible lifestyle stripping offers by investing a little bit of time, effort and money into your future? THAT'S what will make it easier to get a "normal job."

dezire
01-12-2013, 01:29 AM
I did, I just disagree with it having to be all or nothing. Just because you completed a degree young doesn't mean you have to go right into your career. You can keep dancing and enjoying the high income while still staying relevant in your field and networking so that you can actually transition out once you're ready without having to start fresh. I just think it's important to do things to actually stay relevant (part-time internships, jobs, volunteering, joining professional associations, etc.) while you're still dancing.

I agree with bits and pieces of everyone's posts here. Networking is very hard in my area..People here arent willing to really help u out even when u do chat the up and look interested n their companies..Several companies Im interested in have put a halt to hiring bc of the fiscal cliff bs....For those dancers right now who are say 18-23, u guys r golden...Learn from us who are over 30 dancers who although we have college degrees, we lack related job experience..We are fucked..I can try to network all I want but Im not going to go out on dates with guys who expect something from possibly trying to get me a non-dancing job..This is a blue collar area and its rough here..There arent the opportunities of a big city like Ny or LA, etc..I can tell u from experience even when u r 27, 28 u still think u can dance for a while and before u know it ur 30s start rolling through..then it gets tough...Bc unless u look like one of these really hot older women who age very well its going to be hard when u r 32 competing with the 19 year old...

GlamourRouge
01-12-2013, 11:05 AM
I agree with bits and pieces of everyone's posts here. Networking is very hard in my area..People here arent willing to really help u out even when u do chat the up and look interested n their companies.

That's why, for majority of vanilla jobs, you're at a huge disadvantage if you go to school before you plan to use your degree. Because you almost need to make contacts with everyone in your major and people your professors know. These people are forced to be around you while you're in school together, and later, they won't give a shit and probably won't care about you at all. It will almost certainly land you a job in your preferred area if you try hard enough during this time. But there's a very small window, usually just in your last year or 2 of university. Don't let it go to waste by ~*saving your degree for later*~. Yes, you can ~*use your degree later*~, but its most effective, by far, to use it asap because of the contacts you build during school.

dezire
01-14-2013, 12:52 PM
That's why, for majority of vanilla jobs, you're at a huge disadvantage if you go to school before you plan to use your degree. Because you almost need to make contacts with everyone in your major and people your professors know. These people are forced to be around you while you're in school together, and later, they won't give a shit and probably won't care about you at all. It will almost certainly land you a job in your preferred area if you try hard enough during this time. But there's a very small window, usually just in your last year or 2 of university. Don't let it go to waste by ~*saving your degree for later*~. Yes, you can ~*use your degree later*~, but its most effective, by far, to use it asap because of the contacts you build during school.

I didnt have the luxury of the last two years which is when for a major i was looking at ur required and made to get an internship for graduation..And sadly one girl i know of cant even get one n this area for her graduation requirement last semester of her bachelors..At the two year level no one wants to help u ..It really blows..

Ellieanna
01-14-2013, 02:05 PM
I agree with bits and pieces of everyone's posts here. Networking is very hard in my area..People here arent willing to really help u out even when u do chat the up and look interested n their companies..Several companies Im interested in have put a halt to hiring bc of the fiscal cliff bs....For those dancers right now who are say 18-23, u guys r golden...Learn from us who are over 30 dancers who although we have college degrees, we lack related job experience..We are fucked..I can try to network all I want but Im not going to go out on dates with guys who expect something from possibly trying to get me a non-dancing job..This is a blue collar area and its rough here..There arent the opportunities of a big city like Ny or LA, etc..I can tell u from experience even when u r 27, 28 u still think u can dance for a while and before u know it ur 30s start rolling through..then it gets tough...Bc unless u look like one of these really hot older women who age very well its going to be hard when u r 32 competing with the 19 year old...

Times are tough - I'm sure it would be much easier to transition in a booming economy. Networking is hard enough even here in NYC these days - at the end of the day if you live in an area where there are few jobs, and mostly blue collar, the odds are definitely stacked against you. Obviously everyone has a different path but for what it's worth I have hit a lot of the same obstacles trying to leave, so I decided to just go hard, really embrace dancing, work as much as possible and save, save, save for the next year at least, while trying to think about some kind of online or conventional business I can start. I think dancers are generally pretty entrepreneurial. Whatever happens don't get down. I think we are all on your side here and most everybody will have the same issues or questions as you at some point! Keep us posted!

GlamourRouge
01-14-2013, 05:54 PM
I didnt have the luxury of the last two years which is when for a major i was looking at ur required and made to get an internship for graduation..And sadly one girl i know of cant even get one n this area for her graduation requirement last semester of her bachelors..At the two year level no one wants to help u ..It really blows..

Yep its a very very small window of time to get most good internships. Your junior or senior year of undergrad only. Some only your senior year. That's why I say its critical to wait to get your degree until you want to join the workforce in your area of choice and leave dancing behind. Because once you start internships, you need to keep doing them til you land a job, or you get screwed over and lose your networking contacts and basically be in the same spot you were before you started college.

dezire
01-16-2013, 12:28 PM
Times are tough - I'm sure it would be much easier to transition in a booming economy. Networking is hard enough even here in NYC these days - at the end of the day if you live in an area where there are few jobs, and mostly blue collar, the odds are definitely stacked against you. Obviously everyone has a different path but for what it's worth I have hit a lot of the same obstacles trying to leave, so I decided to just go hard, really embrace dancing, work as much as possible and save, save, save for the next year at least, while trying to think about some kind of online or conventional business I can start. I think dancers are generally pretty entrepreneurial. Whatever happens don't get down. I think we are all on your side here and most everybody will have the same issues or questions as you at some point! Keep us posted!

Thank u so much for this thread...Ur right it would b so much easier to transition out of dancing n a booming or even regular economy..Several and i do mean several years ago when I started college a 2 year degree was an entry level position...Little did I know by the time i got my 2 yr degree itd b almost as useful as a high school diploma..I really dont want the debt of a 4 year and I see what u mean about when u get the internship the last semester of school for ur four year how u have to keep up w the internship and Im sure plenty of those are non paying internships..Thats fine if ur a 22 year old still living w ur parents but when u r older and a working adult that doesnt work out so well..ANd yea this is a mostly blue collar low paying area so it is even harder than big cities like ny, la, dc..etc..ANd it is true as a dancer we r so used to making our own schedule..And if we dont like one club we quit and go to another...We have most of the control except when we find a club where management doesnt like or appreciate us...I know the deal...U have to be over 30 for the most part to get where Im coming from..The young dancers who r 22/25 have got it made..Hope all of u save and realize as u age its going to get hard as hell...

dezire
01-16-2013, 12:31 PM
Times are tough - I'm sure it would be much easier to transition in a booming economy. Networking is hard enough even here in NYC these days - at the end of the day if you live in an area where there are few jobs, and mostly blue collar, the odds are definitely stacked against you. Obviously everyone has a different path but for what it's worth I have hit a lot of the same obstacles trying to leave, so I decided to just go hard, really embrace dancing, work as much as possible and save, save, save for the next year at least, while trying to think about some kind of online or conventional business I can start. I think dancers are generally pretty entrepreneurial. Whatever happens don't get down. I think we are all on your side here and most everybody will have the same issues or questions as you at some point! Keep us posted!

Thank u so much for this thread...Ur right it would b so much easier to transition out of dancing n a booming or even regular economy..Several and i do mean several years ago when I started college a 2 year degree was an entry level position...Little did I know by the time i got my 2 yr degree itd b almost as useful as a high school diploma..I really dont want the debt of a 4 year and I see what u mean about when u get the internship the last semester of school for ur four year how u have to keep up w the internship and Im sure plenty of those are non paying internships..Thats fine if ur a 22 year old still living w ur parents but when u r older and a working adult that doesnt work out so well..ANd yea this is a mostly blue collar low paying area so it is even harder than big cities like ny, la, dc..etc..ANd it is true as a dancer we r so used to making our own schedule..And if we dont like one club we quit and go to another...We have most of the control except when we find a club where management doesnt like or appreciate us...I know the deal...U have to be over 30 for the most part to get where Im coming from..The young dancers who r 22/25 have got it made..Hope all of u save and realize as u age its going to get hard as hell...

dezire
01-16-2013, 12:32 PM
^^Sorry i meant to say thank u for ur post :)

dezire
01-16-2013, 12:39 PM
Yep its a very very small window of time to get most good internships. Your junior or senior year of undergrad only. Some only your senior year. That's why I say its critical to wait to get your degree until you want to join the workforce in your area of choice and leave dancing behind. Because once you start internships, you need to keep doing them til you land a job, or you get screwed over and lose your networking contacts and basically be in the same spot you were before you started college.

Yea Im not even trying to go to a 4 year school right now so I dont need to even worry about internships...I did want to join the workforce after my Associate degree, however advisors etc..do not warn u that u must go for ur bachelors in order to get a decent job when ur going to school for ur Associates...If u dont have a good role model iin ur life then u dont know what to do sometimes...Even friends dont help u bc some of them have decent jobs without any education....And at the Associate level there are no contacts Ive established..

Ellieanna
01-17-2013, 06:06 PM
Maybe this is just crazy too - and again way easier in NYC - but another thing I have thought about is kinda gradually transitioning out. Again, this would be a contacts thing, but another poster, Laurisa I think has a thread about becoming a VIP hostess. I thought about looking into being a VIP hostess/manager/house mom. I think that would be an interesting way to go if you really couldn't find another way. There are lots of pros and cons to this - i.e. lots of clubs wouldn't let you transition although you might be able to try a different club - this is not the most conventional biz when it comes to hiring. However, you would have a pretty damn good idea how to do the job, and it would be a step towards being less naked. Granted in New York VIP is a big thing, maybe not everywhere. However, I am sure in some places say house moms get a shift pay plus at least $20 from each girl. It's decent $$ if you are trying to get out...of course many places have a well established momma who is going nowhere but I do think you can parlay something like that into something that passes as office or management experience in the real world if you make the right friends and contacts in the club who will whitewash the company name for you. Not suggesting lying, just that many clubs owned by management groups/investor groups etc. The whole thing with being on that side is schmoozing - you know, girls tip the house mom extra, customers take care of the VIP hostess etc. I don't know - I guess like you I am just in my 30's and trying to think creatively of something that is not just the 4 year degree route which seems extra challenging these days, if you are older than 30. Just a thought...again, keep us up to date with your ideas Dezire!

subashseo
01-18-2013, 07:45 AM
There are top tips that once you discover them have the ability to increase your medical jobs career salary by as much as double and in some very rare cases even triple what you were making before you implemented them.