wyo
02-09-2013, 08:13 AM
In case anyone cares, I wanted to just say where I came to on this:
I've come to understand my fiance's work as theater. I know that the people here can't believe that her dancing would be a problem after so many years, but when I really thought about it, I equated her dancing with her sexuality in a way that made me uncomfortable. We all know that our lovers have pasts, but at the same time (most of us) don't want those pasts "in their face." The problem was that her "past" (as I so inelegantly put it in my title) was consisistently comming up and I wasn't prepared for that.
By thinking of her job as theater, this no longer matters. I know guys today are gawking at her all the time. It doesn't bother me--I just think, "Sorry dude, she's mine." Whether the guys were the creme de la creme or just shmucks, doesn't matter. Because that is just the way life is anyway. And it no longer intrudes on our private life, since what she does for me she never did for anyone else. I can watch her as an audience (she still performs community theater) and I can watch her as her lover. Her customers weren't part of her past, they were just part of the audience.
Life is a cabaret ol' chum.
I've come to understand my fiance's work as theater. I know that the people here can't believe that her dancing would be a problem after so many years, but when I really thought about it, I equated her dancing with her sexuality in a way that made me uncomfortable. We all know that our lovers have pasts, but at the same time (most of us) don't want those pasts "in their face." The problem was that her "past" (as I so inelegantly put it in my title) was consisistently comming up and I wasn't prepared for that.
By thinking of her job as theater, this no longer matters. I know guys today are gawking at her all the time. It doesn't bother me--I just think, "Sorry dude, she's mine." Whether the guys were the creme de la creme or just shmucks, doesn't matter. Because that is just the way life is anyway. And it no longer intrudes on our private life, since what she does for me she never did for anyone else. I can watch her as an audience (she still performs community theater) and I can watch her as her lover. Her customers weren't part of her past, they were just part of the audience.
Life is a cabaret ol' chum.