View Full Version : Why is returning more difficult than starting for the first time?
FireAngelAnna
04-27-2013, 09:40 PM
Does anyone else look super run-down the night after work? I don't drink alcohol in the club, and I only worked for five hours. The club doesn't allow smoking or anything. And I'm hydrated!
I was looking around for threads about this and didn't see any...maybe it's just in my head?
I always look run down after a night of working hard even if I don't drink. I think for me it's the physical part of it; just staying active and aware and running around like crazy for 6+hours. It was the same when I just waitressed. Also, I swear the black-lights/darkness hurts my eyes and gives me dark circles. I have found that a good sleep improves it and I use cold spoons (I know so old method) if my eyes are puffy. And I quit drinking coffee altogether, for whatever reason it gave me worse dark circles. Other than that I have no idea what it is lol! If you figure out a good remedy let me know.
charlie61
04-27-2013, 10:31 PM
Haha! I so just did this too! I started again after a 5 year break and just WOW...so damn sore. I mean, I'm in better shape now than 5 years ago but I totally forgot how hard it was on my knees and quads. I feel like I did a weeks worth of squat lifts, not 6 hours! I can't figure out how I did it 5 days a week when I was 18.../sigh. But so far so good. Definitely switching clubs though...
Ha! Girl, we are in the same boat. I'm in far better shape and I eat FAR better than I did a few years ago, and yet I feel like I got run over by a truck (specifically quads, middle back, and biceps/delts).
And I might be with you on the whole switching clubs thing, too...
Jay12
04-28-2013, 08:40 AM
Does anyone else look super run-down the night after work? I don't drink alcohol in the club, and I only worked for five hours. The club doesn't allow smoking or anything. And I'm hydrated!
I feel the exact same way the next morning too.
FireAngelAnna
04-28-2013, 09:01 AM
Ha! Girl, we are in the same boat. I'm in far better shape and I eat FAR better than I did a few years ago, and yet I feel like I got run over by a truck (specifically quads, middle back, and biceps/delts).
And I might be with you on the whole switching clubs thing, too...
Yeah...things are a bit different, which is understandable after 5 years. But club I'm at now, I know I can do better. Dragged my man out to my old club that I had so much fun at Friday. Things are different there too, but still a lot the same. Definitely not as busy as before, but I'd rather feel more comfortable and look forward to going, than feel like I'm surrounded by some drugged out chicks. (Yes, that is literal, not just being mean. They have the toilets in the dressing room with no doors or covers I guess because of drug issues :O ) So, old club it is! Until I get my groove back for Stadium Club (I hope)!
Ugh, now I'm nervous all over again. Still better than last week though lol! Couldn't eat or sleep I was so torn about going back to stripping. Luckily my husband is the best and gave me confidence!
Optimist
05-01-2013, 02:51 PM
Hahaha! ^^ that's why I was asking for stretches :P
http://www.lovingfit.com/exercises-workouts/total-body-stretching-routine/
Kat w
05-03-2013, 05:25 PM
Congrats Charlie, how exciting! I'm still working the day job and loving it but I still think about stripping pretty frequently. Why can't I quit you, stripping? haha.
charlie61
05-04-2013, 11:36 AM
Congrats Charlie, how exciting! I'm still working the day job and loving it but I still think about stripping pretty frequently. Why can't I quit you, stripping? haha.
Inorite? There's something about belonging to a marginalized group that's both difficult (stigma) and enjoyable (avoiding a totally vanilla lifestyle). There's something even better about working a straight job while stripping occasionally that's especially fun & delicious (far more enjoyable than stripping as primary income). It also covers your ass IRS-wise...unless you're putting ridiculous amounts of money into your bank account, of course.
FireAngelAnna
05-05-2013, 10:07 AM
Inorite? There's something about belonging to a marginalized group that's both difficult (stigma) and enjoyable (avoiding a totally vanilla lifestyle). There's something even better about working a straight job while stripping occasionally that's especially fun & delicious (far more enjoyable than stripping as primary income). It also covers your ass IRS-wise...unless you're putting ridiculous amounts of money into your bank account, of course.
So true! Not as much pressure is very nice.
Kat w
05-25-2013, 09:31 AM
Inorite? There's something about belonging to a marginalized group that's both difficult (stigma) and enjoyable (avoiding a totally vanilla lifestyle). There's something even better about working a straight job while stripping occasionally that's especially fun & delicious (far more enjoyable than stripping as primary income). It also covers your ass IRS-wise...unless you're putting ridiculous amounts of money into your bank account, of course.
Yes, yes,yes. This is maybe a little weird but because of various struggles I think I have always felt somehow marginalized and by stripping I feel like I "fit" into a marginalized group that has a supportive community around it.
Anyway! I conquered my issues and I'm dancing again. I worked two shifts at "my new club" and so far so good. I really do enjoy that I can work my day job and dance. I love my day job and dancing is much more fun when I can put the money towards fun things. The club I found is fine with me working once a week and you make most of your money on stage as opposed to in lap dances so it has been a good fit for me so far!
Yay for this thread!
whirlerz
05-25-2013, 09:36 AM
Haven't been able to make myself do this..:(
charlie61
05-25-2013, 11:03 AM
Damn, I have become such a lazy stripper. My average right now is working once a month...for four hours! How the fuck did I used to get myself into the club 2-3x/week for 8-hour shifts (on top of full-time school)? Dunno what's wrong with me...
Haven't been able to make myself do this..:(
It's tough! Be kind to yourself - don't beat yourself up. Getting back into it is bizarrely difficult.
thejayleeh
05-25-2013, 03:24 PM
I recently returned after a five year hiatus. It's been super rough and discouraging, even though I just started at the best club in my city. I've run into some customers from my past and everyone says I look the same, but I do feel like the "older stripper" all the time. I just thank sweet baby Jesus that I'm Asian.
Anyway my knees and neck crack and I can't work more than three hour shifts, and never more than two nights in a row. My body hurts every single night and I threw out my back the other night like the rickety grandmother that I am. I used to work six full shifts in a row, drowning in champagne, and still had the stamina to continue!
The younger girls assume I'm their age, and the conversations I have with them make me feel juvenile. Then if they discover my age they start treating me like a mama hen.
I'm going to soak my joints in a hot bath until my 11pm "shift".
whirlerz
05-25-2013, 06:47 PM
It's tough! Be kind to yourself - don't beat yourself up. Getting back into it is bizarrely difficult.
Thank you! You are so Sweet!:-*^ & the other ladies on here too..
I am reading/learning a lot on here to ready myself..
Also, once I get back on cam, it should help me get in the mode somewhat, although I know it's different. I get used to being upbeat, entertaining men & hustling.
Also, my room mates have been keeping me up too so I needed extra sleep>:(
FireAngelAnna
05-25-2013, 08:22 PM
I recently returned after a five year hiatus. It's been super rough and discouraging, even though I just started at the best club in my city. I've run into some customers from my past and everyone says I look the same, but I do feel like the "older stripper" all the time. I just thank sweet baby Jesus that I'm Asian.
Anyway my knees and neck crack and I can't work more than three hour shifts, and never more than two nights in a row. My body hurts every single night and I threw out my back the other night like the rickety grandmother that I am. I used to work six full shifts in a row, drowning in champagne, and still had the stamina to continue!
The younger girls assume I'm their age, and the conversations I have with them make me feel juvenile. Then if they discover my age they start treating me like a mama hen.
I'm going to soak my joints in a hot bath until my 11pm "shift". Awww, hang in there girl! I'm sure you look great, just think about that and take some advil. I've found a TON of water helps too. If I don't drink enough water I can seriously notice the difference now. I can't do what I did six years ago either even though I feel like my body looks better. My eyes look terrible after even one late night. I get bad dark circles. I also find I can't drink and be functional the next day, so that takes that fun factor out. Oh well, time can't be stopped. :/ One consolation is that with age came some wisdom so I don't get wrapped up in stupid stuff as easily.
Optimist
05-26-2013, 11:14 AM
I recently returned after a five year hiatus. It's been super rough and discouraging, even though I just started at the best club in my city. I've run into some customers from my past and everyone says I look the same, but I do feel like the "older stripper" all the time. I just thank sweet baby Jesus that I'm Asian.
Anyway my knees and neck crack and I can't work more than three hour shifts, and never more than two nights in a row. My body hurts every single night and I threw out my back the other night like the rickety grandmother that I am. I used to work six full shifts in a row, drowning in champagne, and still had the stamina to continue!
The younger girls assume I'm their age, and the conversations I have with them make me feel juvenile. Then if they discover my age they start treating me like a mama hen.
I'm going to soak my joints in a hot bath until my 11pm "shift".
Try yoga and Pilates. You need something that will help you stretch and strengthen your muscles and burn that tension off. Also Glucosamine and L-Glutamine are fantastic for your joints and quickly repairing your muscles. Oh and hydrate! Bring some water/coconut water, gatorade, etc.
KariSwitch
06-05-2013, 02:04 PM
I just returned to stripping after a year off. I was sooo worried that it wouldn't be the same, that I'd not dance right, that I'd have to potentially audition again... too many what if's... Well, honestly I think the anxiety was more about actually getting there. When I went to the first club for the first audition, as soon as I opened my car door and pulled out my "stripper bag", it was all fine, just like getting back on a bike after years away.
KatGrrl
06-09-2013, 01:15 PM
It's so hard to return to dancing after a break - the longer the break, the more anxious I become. Party from feeling out of the loop, getting older (well, feeling older), and also worrying about the shoes! I used to prance around the club in my heels with no problem - but now I really feel the platform and am way less steady. Anyone else have this problem? I walk so slowly now, and its not the height as much as the platform.
charlie61
06-09-2013, 05:00 PM
It's so hard to return to dancing after a break - the longer the break, the more anxious I become. Party from feeling out of the loop, getting older (well, feeling older), and also worrying about the shoes! I used to prance around the club in my heels with no problem - but now I really feel the platform and am way less steady. Anyone else have this problem? I walk so slowly now, and its not the height as much as the platform.
Yes! I do fine because I already dance very slowly, but I definitely remember feeling more stable than I do these days. I think we're just out of practice...? I also wear slightly higher & steeper (but sexier!) shoes now. For my first four years, I mostly wore platforms with blocky heels.
freedom33
06-09-2013, 05:13 PM
^^^ towards the end of my live dancing days, i took several extended 'breaks' only to return a few months later. Each time i returned, i would be 'hit over the head' with the ( rapid ) changes in the exotic dancing industry. Dancers were willing to 'do more for less', customers were harder to pry money out of without also 'doing more', clubowners were more willing to 'look the other way' as long as the club was earning its' cut etc.
In retrospect, i guess that these sort of changes have been going on more or less continuously all through the '00's. However, when you're in the clubs week after week the changes are so gradual that it's hard to notice them. But leaving a club and returning 6 months later made those changes stick out like the proverbial 'sore thumb'.
i agree
Kat w
06-28-2013, 02:31 PM
Rant Ahead -
I worked a full crazy week at my day job, I work in mental health and it is very draining. I was supposed to work tonight at the club from 8-12 but I called out. I felt so drained today when I got home from work that I have been crying in bed ever since and I know I couldn't work like this. Maybe I can't work at a club with a schedule.
Sorry for the randomness.
charlie61
06-28-2013, 02:57 PM
^You'd be amazed - when you have a crazy job or school schedule, working in a club with no schedule makes it that much easier to never go in. That's been my experience, anyway.
I'm sorry you're in a bad place right now. At least stripping money is just icing on the cake of a stable income...
:hug:
lynn2009
06-28-2013, 04:17 PM
Rant Ahead -
I worked a full crazy week at my day job, I work in mental health and it is very draining. I was supposed to work tonight at the club from 8-12 but I called out. I felt so drained today when I got home from work that I have been crying in bed ever since and I know I couldn't work like this. Maybe I can't work at a club with a schedule.
Sorry for the randomness.
Oh hon, big hugs!!!! My day job isn't as taxing as mental health but I feel you. Fridays are rough for me 8-4am being vanilla then working 8pm-5 am at the club. (Factor in that I commute ~1hour to each place and it feels like magic even to me). It is hard to work so much (or for others who go to school, take care of a family etc.) I hope you wake up feeling better. I know earlier today I hid in the bathroom at work and counted the cash I had left over from last week which was 900 dollars. And I was like well damn it, either I can feel sorry for myself tonight or I can double that! Now though I can't get to work until 10pm or so because of flooding rains. Maybe take a week off to refresh? I find that giving myself some time to miss the club, even just having to be late tonight, makes me excited to get back to it. Usually I am the first one to hit the floor and make $$$.
Sorry this is random...my overall point was that I sympathize with your feeling so overwhelmed and tired. Hope you feel better <3
tuesdaymarie
06-28-2013, 11:27 PM
Ho-lay fuck. I went back in today after a hiatus, and I had to leave at 12:30 instead of 2 because I could barely walk. I am never taking a break again. My body hates me. On the plus side though, I did well enough. It's very odd to go from being a small-breasted stripper to having one of the few pairs of big fake boobs in the club o.O
My anxiety was really, really bad going in and I started shaking before stage, but I'm glad I finally ripped the bandaid off... again.
KatGrrl
06-29-2013, 07:04 AM
^You'd be amazed - when you have a crazy job or school schedule, working in a club with no schedule makes it that much easier to never go in. That's been my experience, anyway.
Ain't that the truth!
Misskatia
06-29-2013, 08:12 AM
Rant Ahead -
I worked a full crazy week at my day job, I work in mental health and it is very draining. I was supposed to work tonight at the club from 8-12 but I called out. I felt so drained today when I got home from work that I have been crying in bed ever since and I know I couldn't work like this.
^^ I used to work 8-5:30 mon-fri at my vanilla job, every other Saturday at my other vanilla job and thurs-sat 7pm-3 AND look after a baby by myself... I can relate.
In those positions of working so many hours for so little compared to dancing, I just got exhausted doing everything and just quit the vanilla jobs and took my life back.
I did however up my shifts at the club to 4 times a week, and I was doubling my vanilla salary income just working those nights.
It's been a couple months since I've worked at the club, and now that I have nearly secured reliable childcare so I can go back to work, I find myself considering whether it would be better to work a vanilla job in my field of study part time and dance a couple days a week, or just focus on saving $$ right now and just dance 4 shifts a week instead.
Kat w
06-30-2013, 04:30 AM
^You'd be amazed - when you have a crazy job or school schedule, working in a club with no schedule makes it that much easier to never go in. That's been my experience, anyway.
I'm sorry you're in a bad place right now. At least stripping money is just icing on the cake of a stable income...
:hug:
Thanks, doll! I feel so much better and I feel no guilt for missing out on money like I would when I was just dancing because as you said, it's icing money, haha.
Oh hon, big hugs!!!! My day job isn't as taxing as mental health but I feel you. Fridays are rough for me 8-4am being vanilla then working 8pm-5 am at the club. (Factor in that I commute ~1hour to each place and it feels like magic even to me). It is hard to work so much (or for others who go to school, take care of a family etc.) I hope you wake up feeling better. I know earlier today I hid in the bathroom at work and counted the cash I had left over from last week which was 900 dollars. And I was like well damn it, either I can feel sorry for myself tonight or I can double that! Now though I can't get to work until 10pm or so because of flooding rains. Maybe take a week off to refresh? I find that giving myself some time to miss the club, even just having to be late tonight, makes me excited to get back to it. Usually I am the first one to hit the floor and make $$$.
Sorry this is random...my overall point was that I sympathize with your feeling so overwhelmed and tired. Hope you feel better <3
Thank you! My commute is around an hour too, which I think contributes to the stress. I am feeling so much better and thank you for the good vibes <3
^^ I used to work 8-5:30 mon-fri at my vanilla job, every other Saturday at my other vanilla job and thurs-sat 7pm-3 AND look after a baby by myself... I can relate.
In those positions of working so many hours for so little compared to dancing, I just got exhausted doing everything and just quit the vanilla jobs and took my life back.
I did however up my shifts at the club to 4 times a week, and I was doubling my vanilla salary income just working those nights.
It's been a couple months since I've worked at the club, and now that I have nearly secured reliable childcare so I can go back to work, I find myself considering whether it would be better to work a vanilla job in my field of study part time and dance a couple days a week, or just focus on saving $$ right now and just dance 4 shifts a week instead.
Wowza, I can't imagine how fried I would be with that schedule. I'm glad that you are taking your life back and taking time to find what works best for you!
You ladies are great, I'm feeling much better now that I am rested and I will think about whether I want to push myself to stick to a dancing schedule or if I want to get hired somewhere and go in once a month when I feel up to it. I'm leaning towards the latter, I started dancing again because I missed it. I want to keep enjoying it, which might mean working once or twice a month.
Lana_T
06-30-2013, 10:15 PM
This was my first week back after a 5 year break. I did prepare myself over the last 8 months, both physically and mentally, but somehow I almost drove myself crazy thinking: "Am I going to get rejected?", "Will I be able to pay my house fee?", "What if I don't even break even on my first couple of nights?", "How will I approach the costumer, what will I say to him?". Being in NYC were the standards are -supposedly- higher in terms of hiring and house fees, my anxiety was out of control.
Well, I got hired on my first audition, in the club I was aiming at and my first night was last Sunday, so a super slow night. My first approach was very shaky and the night bad, money-wise, since the place was dead, but after a while I felt like I never left. I was comfortable on stage, I could approach the few guys that came in, I did well on my dances. We do scare ourselves with a lot of unrealistic thoughts and expectations before we actually set foot back inside the club. A good friend of mine made me snap out of it when she asked me if I was going to audition for a SC or for the Victoria Secrets catalog.;D
After working 5 nights, lots of stretching and changing shoes every hour or so, I'm ready to try other clubs and see if I can find one that I like and can make decent money.
xxxGothBarbie
07-01-2013, 01:31 PM
I am definitley trying to fight off the returning jitters myself - I'm planning on starting back during my road travels this summer after being gone for 8 months. I know i have nothing to worry about but still... I need the $$$ so I can't really be afford to be scared anymore LOL
SweetJulia
07-06-2013, 04:11 AM
A month ago, I quit my increasingly stressful corporate job and moved to an entirely new region of the country with my partner of ~six years. I want to go back to school to get a second degree (in an area that actually interests me this time!), but I need to wait a year to establish residency to avoid paying insane out-of-state tuition fees for the state university. In the meantime, I'm planning on taking some classes through a community college...and stripping on the side. I'd expect it to be far easier to return to stripping than it was to do it for the first time, but it seems the opposite is true. Which is crazy to me!
I'm curious to hear from you ladies who have returned to stripping after an extended hiatus. Were you more or less nervous than the first time? Any theories as to why? Did you use any strategies to overcome your nerves?
Speak up even if you don't have words of advice: I want to know that I'm not alone! :grouphug:
Short answer:Because now you know what you're getting into.
Naida
07-09-2013, 04:02 AM
I just started back myself and I know EXACTLY what you're talking about!
1) Stamina. First time, it was like "oh, I just have to get used to it". Coming back, it's more like "jeezus, why am I struggling to complete a three song set?"
2) Appearance. First time, "omg, I can't believe how much weight I'm losing!" Coming back, "omg, I can't believe how much weight I've gained..."
3) Money. First time, "holy shit, I made $100 in a single night!" Coming back, "holy shit, I only made $100."
4) Sales. First time, "I sold four dances!" Coming back, "I should have sold more than four dances."
5) Costumes. First time, "I can't believe I'm wearing shoes/clothes this tall/slutty!" Coming back, "I can't believe I'm wearing shoes/clothes this short/conservative."
Like Julia said- we know what we're getting into this time around. We also remember what it was like to do it well before we quit. I know that, for myself, I was at the highest point of my life and health in my last few months of dancing. Now I'm being miserably faced with how bad I didn't even know I was before I started dancing, and being painfully aware of how I let myself slip below that new standard.
Tourdefranzia
07-17-2013, 10:24 PM
Holy FUCK I am sore this morning. How the hell do some women do this 4+ times a week? And my brain just feels...vacant. I can't imagine doing this two days in a row!
I seriously feel like an 80-year-old woman... "back in the daaaay, I could do what you youngin's do..."
I feel your pain Charlie! I worked my first shift in 5 years, yesterday. Sheesh, I could hardly walk when I woke up this morning. I'm on the schedule tomorrow, so I'll just push through. That's the best way to get in shape fast. I hope you are feeling better now, I know this post is several months old.:)
Selina M
08-11-2013, 11:03 PM
I went back today after 3 months, to check out the new management and see if they'd ditched their shitty rules and determine if I'd be returning... I had been dreading it for a week and was SO nervous walking up to the building.
But as soon as I got into the stairwell and felt the bass and smelled perfume and cigarettes, I was like "Yeah, let's do this! My job rocks!"
We'll see how actually working goes, but I think a lot of the returning thing is just psyching yourself out way too much. I even found myself subconsciously planning to go in at 11am tomorrow because I was afraid if I went in at 6, I wouldn't be able to make the house >_<