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View Full Version : "Letters From An Extra's Girl : If it's So Easy, Why Haven't You Done It?"



cherryblossomsinspring
06-09-2013, 02:28 PM
I wasn't sure if this had already been posted but this was another great piece from Tits and Sass.

Even thought I think this was written earlier than the post :"Getting Away" With Hating It: Consent in the Context of Sex Work" it seems directly linked in many ways.
Anyways it left me with a bittersweet taste in my mouth. The last line gave me a cold shiver down my spine.

http://titsandsass.com/letter-from-an-extras-girl-if-its-so-easy-why-havent-you-done-it/#more-11737

simone87
06-09-2013, 02:35 PM
i agree with a lot of it, and agree with a lot of the comments below it. everyone has a different experience, but not all strippers need to turn to extras to survive

yoda57us
06-09-2013, 04:37 PM
Thanks for posting this. It's a chilling read but, sadly, it's a composite of many conversations I've had over the years with both clean girls and extras girls regarding why they do it, why they don't do it and what both sides think of the other...

GummyBear
06-09-2013, 07:40 PM
My qualm about working side by side prostitutes is that their negative reputation will bring that to myself and the club. I've worked in clubs where it did happen, and I knew I was "fluffing" some of the guys, but whatever. Either way we're often warming them up for a prostitute, massage parlor, a seedier club, or the wife they're not attracted to. And there were many customers not interested at all in extras, and even after trying out an extras girls would come back to me. I never thought better of myself, just more clear headed, better at communicating, and better at managing money so I never felt pressured to do what it took to make $X. In this club I do not think guys were innocently coming in then getting sold on the ego boost of getting a stripper to do something just for them. They would get a dance with every girl in the club to ask if they'd do xyz until finding a taker. Or they'd be the type to go on strip club rating sites to find girls' mileage. Sorry, not buying this girl's reasoning. Yes, of course you could take a guy with little strip club experience and convince him anything you do is special.. That's not the extras seeking customer that annoys clean girls. I now work in a squeaky clean club, girls might try to push rules but they will be fired, and guys spend huge amounts of money compared to the dirty club. Some hope they'll get girls to date them but plenty just want a night of fun. These are the "farmers market" customers and plenty appreciate the class and cleanliness and good reputation. They would be uncomfortable and embarrassed to be seen in the other places. You can boost a guys ego by telling him you have a great time with him all to yourself, and you can get him to stay and have fun for hours on end by entertaining him. If you get him off he pays and goes home! And I've had no support since my late teens, always figured out how to manage my money, and I plan for the future so I will one day make equivalent or even more money not dancing once I can't do it anymore. F her assumption of career strippers.

simone87
06-09-2013, 08:07 PM
^ exactly!! if you can't make money as an entertainer and you don't have the charm, smarts, and business sense then go be an escort. don't try and pass yourself off as a real entertainer and give us a bad name
( not saying escorts don't have business sense, or charm, or smarts, or anything else so plz don't take it that way anybody ! only referring to extras girls)

lifetravelergirl
06-10-2013, 03:11 PM
I think the reason she neither condones nor condemns is because life isn't all black and white. There is a cost for everything. Working at a 9-5 like a fast-food joint, the cost is your time, you are trading your time or your life for a few dollars an hour. In essence you are trading your life for money. In some respect we all trade our life for money but the extra girl is not only selling her time, she is also selling parts of herself that she might prefer to share with someone she loves. She mentions how she is no longer able to enjoy sex in her article because of her occupation, selling her body for money. I have talked in the past about how working as a stripper caused me to loose interest in sex, feel dirty, etc. Then I had one or two very judgmental women tell me that I wasn't cut out for the sex industry. Maybe not. Maybe I am human and maybe there is a cost for everything we do. I suppose if an individual was comfortable having sex with lots of people all the time then having sex with lots of people all the time for money wouldn't be a sacrifice but there tends to be a reason why humans are comfortable with things that other humans would be very uncomfortable with. In my own experience I believe that I was more comfortable with questionable guys who just wanted to use me like a fleshlight because of experiences I had as a child. Bad things that were common in my childhood didn't seem bad when I got older because I had been conditioned to accept them as normal. They just were. Like my relationship with a very bad guy that lasted way too long, he reminded me of my father and the awful things he did to me were familiar. Familiar becomes it's own experience like when you hear an old song you used to enjoy, it's familiar. You may not like it but it reminds you of your struggles to fit in, be loved, gain acceptance...

People like to judge, they like to see things as all black or all white, it makes life so much easier, so much more two dimensional. In the end we all do what we need to do to survive. I was recently rehashing some experiences from my past (not extras related) and I remember in the past being more open. I used to talk about mistakes I made when I was younger but people used my experiences to judge me in the present. My mother always used to tell me, "You are too honest, you need to not share certain things with people." It is a flaw of mine to share things that are meaningful to me in order to communicate something I learned or something that is meaningful to me but I am learning to avoid sharing. In this life we are all alone and being at peace with that alone-ness is good, it may be very difficult to achieve. I have learned that it is our experiences that teach us the most meaningful lessons and my natural tendency is to want to share my experiences because I for some reason believe if I share my experience, whoever I am sharing it with will learn something meaningful from the retelling of my experience. Somehow it never seems to work though and the listener just goes away thinking less of me. Perhaps that is what Parables were about, once you remove yourself from the "lesson" people can learn from it instead of focusing on thinking less of you.

Joanna_Kaary
06-10-2013, 08:48 PM
^^^ well said.

BANHammerGoddess
06-11-2013, 03:50 AM
^ exactly!! if you can't make money as an entertainer and you don't have the charm, smarts, and business sense then go be an escort. don't try and pass yourself off as a real entertainer and give us a bad name
( not saying escorts don't have business sense, so plz don't take it that way anybody !)


Simone, reread this. Normally I love the way you communicate but this is a horrendous statement. Escorts can have business sense but not charm, smarts, or consider themselves an entertainer? Why, oh why, is there so much bashing of one another on a sex industry site? Yes, it's called stripperweb. But there's fetishists, cam models, DJs, blues, escorts, porn stars, and probably a few other occupations/participants of the sex industry.

Anyway, not sure you meant that, or meant to state it that badly.

Most dancers can agree on one thing, "I don't care what you do with your own body, but keep it out of the club." I think Melonie chimed in recently and said that extras were going on in the clubs in the 90s as well, just maybe not as blatantly. I believe that there's room for just about every type of performer here on SW. If I were to have one wish about stripping, it wouldn't be "dear Lord, please get those extras girls out of the club!" but instead would be, "dear Lord, please close down half the strip-clubs so we have a more concentrated pool of customers, talent, and good management."

I may be selling a fantasy and an erotic experience that is still legal, but I'm not above admitting that sometimes, having extras girls in the club make my job easier because when I'm feeling bitchy and not wanting to do my regular spiel, I just act insanely horny and let them draw their own conclusions about what's in store for them after I have their money.

simone87
06-11-2013, 10:44 AM
i already said, this does not apply to escorts. im talking about girls who are too insecure or too lazy to try and do their job in a clean way, and to entertain. any guy in the club is going to say ( well a LOT are gong to say) "sure! i'd love to get a blow job for the price that other dancers are offering a simple dance for!". its the easy way out. yeah you can make money, by doing something illegal and by undercutting the other dancers who are trying to DANCE, not escort. my comment is about stripping, not any of the other adult industry professions. i have the utmost respect for escorts, but their place is not in the club doing that while i try and dance and entertain, ya know...
maybe i worded it wrong but i didn't mean that escorts don't have business sense. i was only referring to girls who try and give cheap extras inside the club as strippers.
don't pretend to be something that you are not. i don't pretend to be an escort when im just a stripper right now. so please, just keep the industries seperate. that's what my point was

Sophia_Starina
06-11-2013, 10:51 AM
Quoted from the article:

I just ask you, Clean Dancer, to think on this: if it is so easy to make money by sucking and fucking, why haven’t you done it? You call it the easy or lazy way to riches. I call it walking through hell in seven inch platforms.

Schrodinger's Cake.
Have the cake and eat it too... it's neither nommed nor is it whole... yeah... okay.

The author of the letter is batshit. She laments the derision clean dancers throw her way but says that she detests the repercussions of her actions. She is a victim twice over... except that the only person victimizing her is HER! She feels so wounded but sees herself as blameless. It's preposterous.

Strip clubs =/= Brothels.

I support sex workers as long as they don't muddy the waters, so to speak, of establishments where X,Y, and Z are not allowed. It creates an uneven playing field and it does more harm than good.

Wanna escort? Be an escort.
Wanna do porn? Do porn.
Wanna give "sensual massages"? Get your license and rub a dub dub.

Wanna be a stripper. Do your fucking job. No more. No less.

A strip club is not the place to peddle your services. It has nothing to do with morals. It has to do with money. And if you're the unhappy hooker of the club... STOP. Just fucking stop. Do yourself a favor and give it up. You're not doing yourself... or ANYONE... any favors by selling yourself short (according to the author) and fucking up the dynamics of a club.

The dumb bitch thinks she is a martyr. In truth, she is a moron with no sense of responsibility.


You act as if we are taking a shortcut by sucking and fucking our way to some magical pot of stripper gold at the end of the VIP rainbow. I hate to break it to you, Sister, but you ARE the fluffer girl and I’m taking it up the ass on camera so that this porno sells.

Ooh! An analogy! Yippee!
Too bad it's wrong.

Strippers are like a police force operating within the letter of the law. Extras Girl is a vigilante hitman who doesn't abide by the rules and acts as judge/jury/executioner because she feels obligated to. There is NO logic to her assertion that fucking and sucking is an inevitable progression of the strip club experience. Saying we get guys riled up and she "takes one for the team" is BULLSHIT. Blue-balls never killed anybody.

Extras Girl needs to sit the fuck down and wise the fuck up.

yoda57us
06-11-2013, 11:15 AM
I think the reason she neither condones nor condemns is because life isn't all black and white.

Exactly. She is neither condoning nor condemning but she is accepting the fact that the situation exists...and asking for less hate and judgement. To be honest it's easier said than done. Most of my regs are clean dancers trying to earn a living in clubs that are either rampant extras clubs or clean clubs that are getting dirtier. The pity party that the blogger is trying to throw for herself is falling on deaf ears for most of these girls.

simone87
06-11-2013, 11:16 AM
she condemns her own work and then condemns the people condemning it more like..very confused girl

Sophia_Starina
06-11-2013, 11:23 AM
she condemns her own work and then condemns the people condemning it more like..very confused girl

Right. She doesn't know whether she is on foot or horse-back. She can begrudgingly wax poetic about her activities. But at the end of the day she is in charge of her life.

There is no reason to take it up the ass and then act all butthurt.

So fuck her and her convoluted "reasoning".

Sophia_Starina
06-11-2013, 11:28 AM
Exactly. She is neither condoning nor condemning but she is accepting the fact that the situation exists...and asking for less hate and judgement. To be honest it's easier said than done. Most of my regs are clean dancers trying to earn a living in clubs that are either rampant extras clubs or clean clubs that are getting dirtier. The pity party that the blogger is trying to throw for herself is falling on deaf ears for most of these girls.

I have never condemned women who do what I am unwilling to do for money. As long as they stay out of the club, we are golden. When she's talking about "performing" her activities in a place of business "Zoned" for other activities she is in the WRONG. No sympathy.

There is no slippery slope in the club.

We are free agents. If dancers feel pressured to do something that makes them uncomfortable, they are free to leave and find another place of business that suits their boundaries better.

Extras Girl's letter is a smattering of invalid excuses and self-serving garbage.

yoda57us
06-11-2013, 11:49 AM
We are free agents. If dancers feel pressured to do something that makes them uncomfortable, they are free to leave and find another place of business that suits their boundaries better.


Agreed. What I find weirdly coincidental is that the girls who perform heavy extras in the clubs seem to have the same mindset as the guys who pay for sex ITC but would never consider hiring an escort. Last weekend I bought a fifteen minute VIP session from a dancer I had just met. The subject of extras never came up and it's not what I was looking for when we went to the private room. Imagine my surprise (not!) when our 15 minute dance turned into a pitch from her regarding what she would do for me if I bough 30 minutes or an hour the next time. She was blatantly up front about the fact that her BF would never let her do escort work but he was OK with her selling full service in the "safety" of the club's VIP rooms. I read the same bull crap from guys on other boards all the time. They complain that dancers charge too much for sex in the VIP room but then poo-poo the idea of simply hiring an escort who will give you the same, or probably better, service for, quite often, less money.

The two worlds are better kept separate in my opinion but I'm afraid that the horse is already too far out of the barn at this point. I've never made any secret of the fact that I pay escorts. A great day for me is an afternoon in the club laughing and teasing with a fave dancer before heading off to an evening with a fave escort. I'd much rather be with a woman who is comfortable doing what she is doing and not "giving in" to something she doesn't want to be doing for the sake of selling a VIP room...

Nina_
06-11-2013, 12:17 PM
The article basically says clean dancers can't make money and therefore are jealous of the money extras girls make but are "too good" to go the extras route. Bullshit. Just because a stripper can't make money being a stripper and has to resort to doing extras doesn't mean that's the case for all of us. I make very good money and have never done extras and I can say with certainty that I will never do extras. No use in getting jealous over extras girls money - if I wanted money that way, I'd get it that way. Plus I make more than the majority of extras girls here in Detroit.

Sophia_Starina
06-11-2013, 12:52 PM
The article basically says clean dancers can't make money and therefore are jealous of the money extras girls make but are "too good" to go the extras route. Bullshit. Just because a stripper can't make money being a stripper and has to resort to doing extras doesn't mean that's the case for all of us. I make very good money and have never done extras and I can say with certainty that I will never do extras. No use in getting jealous over extras girls money - if I wanted money that way, I'd get it that way. Plus I make more than the majority of extras girls here in Detroit.

No! You missed the most important point Extras Girl mentioned!
She implies that without her shenanigans, there would be no reason for guys to go to strip clubs. We warm them up and she finishes the job. Otherwise no guys would go to clubs... But she's saaaaaaaaaad about it.

(End of Sarcasm)

Sophia_Starina
06-11-2013, 12:55 PM
The two worlds are better kept separate in my opinion but I'm afraid that the horse is already too far out of the barn at this point. I've never made any secret of the fact that I pay escorts. A great day for me is an afternoon in the club laughing and teasing with a fave dancer before heading off to an evening with a fave escort. I'd much rather be with a woman who is comfortable doing what she is doing and not "giving in" to something she doesn't want to be doing for the sake of selling a VIP room...

I agree. It's already out of the barn.

And I commend you for doing things right. Do you, do what you wanna do. It's better to have sensible boundaries about the entertainment provided and what activities are appropriate elsewhere.

I give you kudos.

yoda57us
06-11-2013, 01:55 PM
I agree. It's already out of the barn.

And I commend you for doing things right. Do you, do what you wanna do. It's better to have sensible boundaries about the entertainment provided and what activities are appropriate elsewhere.

I give you kudos.

I appreciate that Sophia but I'd be lying if I said I didn't learn the hard way in some cases. I've seen girls that I really liked become raving drunks or just plain miserable human beings because they thought that sex in VIP was something that they could handle. While I can understand some of the blogger's lament I also know that no one has to do anything they don't want to do. There is always a choice.

ToeOfTheCamel
06-11-2013, 03:59 PM
There is no reason to take it up the ass and then act all butthurt. I see what you did there c(: I'm gonna siggy that one.
I have sympathy for girls who work on the more intense end of the sex-work spectrum, because I remember feeling all violated and out of whack when I was new, and I was only doing lapdances! I condone prostitution, etc. if the woman is comfortable with it and it honestly doesn't damage her emotionally, but TAKE IT OUTSIDE THE CLUB. Stripclubs are for stripping. I didn't like her explanations about how extra's girls don't hurt our incomes. There aren't even any extras at my club, and at least twice a night I hear the ever-famous, "Well, the girls in the city will do (xxx) for that same price." If no one did extra's, it would be a little easier to just sell the idea of sex and maybe a booby-grab for a tip. Why don't they get that? It's a really simple concept and it pissed me off a little that someone was trying to discredit it. No! Dancers need to all be on the same level at their respective clubs. It's like the girls who come in to my club and let customers feel them up in the LD room for free, and then it's harder for me afterwards to get tips from them/sell dances. Take it to the parking lot after work or something, but definitely not if you're going to be mentally downtrodden because of it, later. The essay was a fun insight, I guess, but I don't think it changed anyone's opinions of girls prostituting in stripclubs....

joshg
06-11-2013, 04:10 PM
Quoted from the article:


Schrodinger's Cake.
Have the cake and eat it too... it's neither nommed nor is it whole... yeah... okay.


slightly OT but this made me lol.

thanks for the thought-provoking responses, all.

ToeOfTheCamel
06-11-2013, 04:25 PM
I like this one more. Less martyrdom, more blatancy. http://titsandsass.com/an-extras-girl-in-australia/#more-11758

Sophia_Starina
06-11-2013, 07:32 PM
I see what you did there c(: I'm gonna siggy that one.


Hahaha! Yes! Awesome :)

Sophia_Starina
06-11-2013, 07:47 PM
slightly OT but this made me lol.

thanks for the thought-provoking responses, all.

;) My pleasure.

Athenathefabulous
06-11-2013, 11:08 PM
this girl is a whiny little bitch. I'm sorry, but you expect me to fuckin feel sorry for you and give you a fuckin hug because you decided that it was a good business decision to suck dick in the champagne room. Bitch please.

yea, i dont doubt she is going through all sorts of PTSD. But,its her fault. she could have struggled with making sales like the rest of us but instead she decided to struggle iwth the consequences of allowing a bunch of disgusting men into her twat. no sympathy here.

also, the title made me roll my eyes. The reason why i havent done it is because I have firmly set my boundaries since day one and have stuck with it. Its really not that goddamn hard.

ChocoChanelGirl
06-12-2013, 02:36 AM
I think we can agree to never let the man win with robbing us of the "fantasy" that a strip club is supposed to produce.

cherryblossomsinspring
06-12-2013, 02:36 AM
^ I agree with that as well. I think what made me so uneasy was her view of the men that sought this type of "fun"out. The coldness and callousness of their desires to soul steal.

Of course the title and some of the attitude in the writing I don't agree with. The "ohh well" vibe. I saw the flippant attitude more as a person trying to display a hard shell as she sits in solitude feeling as though no one was in her corner. Still when she returned from said sex trap she could have returned to just dancing. She chose not to and that was her choice to make.

Camming as I've mentioned in the past is making a similar change as well. I remember a ways back someone brought up escorting through a cam site and I too said " noooo don't bring that there!!". Now on sites it's more common to hear "where are you" than "feet bb". lol

My point wasn't to post this to say "boo to extras girls" or to say "yah to extras girls". It was more so to just get a glimpse or take a moment out to see the world through their eyes. Also I just copied the title. I in no way meant this as "hey join in their fun" post.

When I also look at this site for example extra girls will not really post about their experiences because they'll get attacked. In the same vein we have a whole section for men and one woman that can openly discuss their hobbyist tactics in the club. Another thought is that what was once considered dirty in the past is in today's standard "clean".

Of course we can try to pin the blame of raids on them or maybe we can point a finger at the customers? Nah that's too easy. When I look deeper I see management hiring these girls and watching them on the vip cam feeds yet at the same time allowing the bouncers to be paid off. They know very well who is doing what in the club yet they promote it with their high fees and over filled rosters. If a raid were to happen I would think it was more so because someone didn't get their white envelope or maybe didn't get it in time. Plus someone is always looking to make a name for themselves in the view of the public when some government seat becomes available.

In the past when some "dirty" girl broke the rules her ass was tossed out. Now? club bounders are sending her customers and whispering in the ears of men that specific clean dancers are "boring". Bouncers are really there to bounce rule breakers out. From what I've been hearing they aren't doing their job, why are they getting tip outs at all?

Also nice post on the second article! I still feel since paying for sex is legal in that country there is a different attitude towards sex for money in general. Men probably don't have the same hang ups nor behavioral issues associated with dealing with escorts.

What baffles me most is how women are the ones bringing in the money to these clubs yet aren't banning together to change the conditions.

In camming that is a harder task since we all don't really know anything about each others lives and even the fact that were in different countries, currency differences and of course cost of living. A club on the other hand can only house so many women and these women are working within inches of each other, sharing their problems etc. Sure there are always some crazy types that you wouldn't want to be around for more than 2 seconds but the competitive attitude seems to do more harm than good.

My point is ok so the girl does extras. What is she charging? Why is the girl next to her charging less? Why aren't they getting together to create a system where they charge a certain amount so that everyone is on board and they aren't undercutting the clean dancers?

Just the other day I cammed and told this one annoying "where are you" type that I'm not an escort I just cam. Half my room left at that moment. I'm not talking about a slow trickle out either. Now I'll have to work even harder, employ some dirty tactics of blatant lying to get ahead. Obviously in the past this wasn't necessary because camming was so easy and fun that I worked a ridiculous amount of hours because I was always in a great mood. Now I have to maximize my time and really focus on how long someone talks to me before I have to ignore them and log out all together or maybe accidentally ban them from my room since they're doing more talking than spending.

Even in escorting it's the same thing. Review boards seemed like a great idea but now they too are being abused by the men that use them. Women are being bribed and bullied into leaving great reviews for men that aren't respectful at all. Since the men are the ones spending for memberships on these sites, they are being catered to at the expensive of escort safety. Perhaps in the future escorts will ban together and create a review board that is run and operated by women since there are escort agencies that are built by and for women.

ToeOfTheCamel
06-17-2013, 10:52 PM
My point is ok so the girl does extras. What is she charging? Why is the girl next to her charging less? Why aren't they getting together to create a system where they charge a certain amount so that everyone is on board and they aren't undercutting the clean dancers?
We are awesome enough to have a system amongst the girls at my club that is like this. I don't even remember how I came upon knowing about it or being a part of it anymore. "Extras" at my club extend as far as booby-grabbing, and that's it, and we all charge the same for it (except for this irritating new girl who is KILLING me ["well, that girl didn't want a tip for that"]), or some girls don't do it at all. It makes things smoother and more even for everyone...:)

lol1337a
06-24-2013, 02:49 AM
I disagree with most of her sentiments, but her argument about the symbiotic relationship between clean and extras dancers may be not be so far off in some expensive clubs. I spent the first five years of my career at dives and mid tier clubs and can attest to the devastating loss of income that occurs with the increase of extras. However, after working at a club where rooms begin at $1100/hr, I can attribute a large portion of my room sales to extras girls. How many customers these days would spend this kind of money if they knew there was absolutely no possibility of sex? Actually, how many customers would spend that much money unless they thought their chances were at least pretty good? A lot of the customers at my club have been trained by the overwhelming percentage of extras girls to assume that they're getting a handjob at the very least as part of the transaction. They don't even think to ask. And when a customer doesn't ask what I'll do, I have no idea whether he's a gentleman who wants to take me on a very expensive first date or a guy who is looking for a prostitute. I give him the benefit of the doubt, escort him to a host, he pays, and I find out. If it's the latter, it's their own fault and I make them aware of it (while of course persuading him to stay and experience an upscale strip club experience for once instead of a brothel). I get $580 I doubt I would have otherwise thanks to the extras girls.

rickdugan
06-24-2013, 11:52 AM
Well, melodrama and self hatred aside, she makes a few good points. In particular, I think that she does a great job of capturing the realities about guys who visit strip clubs and the temptations faced by some dancers, particularly those who rely upon the job as their sole source of income.

First, no, most guys are not visiting strip clubs to buy some nonsensical "fantasy." A guy is normally there for one or any combination of the following: visual stimulus, edginess and entertainment (whatever the form, be it companionship, extras, some fetish, etc.). I have no clue where this whole "fantasy" concept ever originated from, but my theory has always been that it is a psychological construct used by some dancers to make themselves feel better about what they do. But anywho...

Second, the search for sex with dancers, at least by some customers, has always been, and will always be, a component of this industry. And where there is demand, there will always be a % of girls willing to meet that demand. The only real difference between now and 15 years ago (when I started clubbing regularly) is that more of it happens ITC and the cost of these services have come down. But make no mistake, back then plenty of strippers were loading into cabs when their clubs closed to be swept off to customers' hotels, just as they are today.

Finally, her point that many (though certainly not all) career strippers will trick at some point or another is quite true IME. I won't pretend to know the percentages, but I have seen many girls make hard decisions over the years and I will even admit that I've been the catalyst for more than a few of those decisions. This is particularly the case for girls who rely upon this as their sole means of support and have others to care for. An infant cannot live on Ramen noodles, nor wear the noodle wrapper for a diaper. And all it takes is one bad night, or perhaps one bad week, to bring some girls to the point of seriously considering doing what they never thought that they would do.

Anyway, I'm not expecting anyone on this board to have any sympathy for a so-called "extras girl." But let's at least be clear-eyed about the realities that are in play when discussing this.

justanothercamgirl
06-24-2013, 12:04 PM
Interesting.

Thanks for posting.

lol1337a
06-25-2013, 11:58 PM
^^Yeah, I refuse to do rooms with customers I don't feel at ease with, and I never say I'll do anything I don't. There is money to be made on the floor, but $2000+ nights really only occur when you have multiple room sales. Wouldn't advise anyone to do this nonetheless.

BlasianBytch
06-26-2013, 07:00 AM
I really don't have much sympathy for girls that do extras they put EVERYONE in the club at risk. She offers to blow the wrong guy then every dancer is getting their purses searched and anyone with condoms , a toy, a "suspicious" amount of cash is getting arrested with her. Not to mention they make my job obsolete. If I will give a few private dances for $40 dollars and she will suck you for $50 I'm not going to make any money.

So those that chose to do extra do it at the expense of everyone else working at the club.

Brilynne
07-14-2013, 08:08 PM
Yeah..i think its been said but I dont get it- if youre gonna do extras, why not become a freakin escort? my options were between escorting and working a dirty club, and I chose escorting. I think that club wouldve been hell for my sanity. Escorting I got to choose who I wanted to see, when i wanted to see them. And being the only escort for 100 mile radius (plus guys came down from the big cities, often telling me they had to know if my pics were "real") I made bank. Even when guys had the option of that club available.

Stripper Hacks
08-07-2013, 04:57 PM
He wasn’t paying for the sex; he was paying for the ego trip.

Ego trips don't involve hand jobs. Sugar. Daddy. Would you fuck your daddy? Me either.

My principles have always been no meeting customers outside of the club, no hand jobs, no boob touching, no kissing, no pussy touching, no fucking, no promises of fucking, no promises of getting them off, never offering any of the above to get them to VIP. I did it with no extra money coming in from any other sources.

It can be done. Girls have to work together.


I have no clue where this whole "fantasy" concept ever originated from

Ever see a girl that you couldn't stop thinking about that knew you could never have her? It's the same concept. Only strippers meet half way and actually talk to the guys. Strippers usually give the customers the ego trip without the realities that come with being in an actual relationship. It's still a relationship because it's a business relationship with major boundaries. These types of relationships already exist in the real world, strippers just happen to do it in their underwear, put on a show and charge money for it.

Some lady was in the news for selling hugs.

It's the same thing. Hug lady does not care what goes through a guys mind as long as he doesn't act on it. I do not care what goes through a guys mind as long as he doesn't act on it.

I don't mind being close to guys because what I say goes and I'm okay not dancing at all if they expect too much.

Jade62013
08-11-2013, 09:27 AM
I've been a stripper and a camgirl, and I've thought about escorting.

That article was well-written and honest, but honest does NOT mean any of her arguments are logical. She is basing all her views on her own experiences ONLY, and forming vast generalizations. Not EVERY dancer has to do extras. There are LOTS of VERY POOR people in the world who NEVER choose to do ANY form of sex work AT ALL. Her decisions are hers, and she is throwing a pity party for her own moronic stupidity that led her down this path and saying "I had to do it, it was inevitable, the system made me do it." A grown women accepts responsibility for her own choices and mistakes. And she implies that clean dancers are only there to make customers feel better about buying extras from extras girls, which can't be further from the truth.

The arguments against her written by commenters made a lot more sense. The only good, logical arguments for "her side" have been made ON HER BEHALF by other people here such as yoda.

Like everyone else has said, nothing wrong with selling sex. Or being an escort. Whatever you want to do. But doing extras in a strip club is supremely selfish, fucks up the local sex work economy, and can interfere with everyone else's income, safety, and perception. It is a way of cheating. No clean dancer I've ever known has ever had a problem with escorts and full sex services...where they belong!

Jade62013
08-11-2013, 09:28 AM
What scares me the most is that she is now a stripper booking agent??? God help any new girls that work for her! She should get fired from that immediately...

Jade62013
08-11-2013, 09:48 AM
Most of all, people need to fucking take responsibility for their own fucking choices besides I HAD to do it or the system made me do it or it was inevitable.

It seems like sex workers tend to forget that there are 7 billion people on this Earth.

And MOST of them are poor and need money.

And MOST of them aren't sex workers.

Yet MOST of them survive.

Hence, most people can survive without sex work. How do they do it? Hmmm...I dunno...budgeting, other jobs, and making other difficult choices, maybe? Jeez.

KristylJayne
08-18-2013, 01:56 PM
Eccie is doing exactly that. It's all to the customers benefit and not the girls. Too many cheapskates. It's why 'd never go to Texas. Lots of assholes from Texas on Eccie.
^ I agree with that as well. I think what made me so uneasy was her view of the men that sought this type of "fun"out. The coldness and callousness of their desires to soul steal.

Of course the title and some of the attitude in the writing I don't agree with. The "ohh well" vibe. I saw the flippant attitude more as a person trying to display a hard shell as she sits in solitude feeling as though no one was in her corner. Still when she returned from said sex trap she could have returned to just dancing. She chose not to and that was her choice to make.

Camming as I've mentioned in the past is making a similar change as well. I remember a ways back someone brought up escorting through a cam site and I too said " noooo don't bring that there!!". Now on sites it's more common to hear "where are you" than "feet bb". lol

My point wasn't to post this to say "boo to extras girls" or to say "yah to extras girls". It was more so to just get a glimpse or take a moment out to see the world through their eyes. Also I just copied the title. I in no way meant this as "hey join in their fun" post.

When I also look at this site for example extra girls will not really post about their experiences because they'll get attacked. In the same vein we have a whole section for men and one woman that can openly discuss their hobbyist tactics in the club. Another thought is that what was once considered dirty in the past is in today's standard "clean".

Of course we can try to pin the blame of raids on them or maybe we can point a finger at the customers? Nah that's too easy. When I look deeper I see management hiring these girls and watching them on the vip cam feeds yet at the same time allowing the bouncers to be paid off. They know very well who is doing what in the club yet they promote it with their high fees and over filled rosters. If a raid were to happen I would think it was more so because someone didn't get their white envelope or maybe didn't get it in time. Plus someone is always looking to make a name for themselves in the view of the public when some government seat becomes available.

In the past when some "dirty" girl broke the rules her ass was tossed out. Now? club bounders are sending her customers and whispering in the ears of men that specific clean dancers are "boring". Bouncers are really there to bounce rule breakers out. From what I've been hearing they aren't doing their job, why are they getting tip outs at all?

Also nice post on the second article! I still feel since paying for sex is legal in that country there is a different attitude towards sex for money in general. Men probably don't have the same hang ups nor behavioral issues associated with dealing with escorts.

What baffles me most is how women are the ones bringing in the money to these clubs yet aren't banning together to change the conditions.

In camming that is a harder task since we all don't really know anything about each others lives and even the fact that were in different countries, currency differences and of course cost of living. A club on the other hand can only house so many women and these women are working within inches of each other, sharing their problems etc. Sure there are always some crazy types that you wouldn't want to be around for more than 2 seconds but the competitive attitude seems to do more harm than good.

My point is ok so the girl does extras. What is she charging? Why is the girl next to her charging less? Why aren't they getting together to create a system where they charge a certain amount so that everyone is on board and they aren't undercutting the clean dancers?

Just the other day I cammed and told this one annoying "where are you" type that I'm not an escort I just cam. Half my room left at that moment. I'm not talking about a slow trickle out either. Now I'll have to work even harder, employ some dirty tactics of blatant lying to get ahead. Obviously in the past this wasn't necessary because camming was so easy and fun that I worked a ridiculous amount of hours because I was always in a great mood. Now I have to maximize my time and really focus on how long someone talks to me before I have to ignore them and log out all together or maybe accidentally ban them from my room since they're doing more talking than spending.

Even in escorting it's the same thing. Review boards seemed like a great idea but now they too are being abused by the men that use them. Women are being bribed and bullied into leaving great reviews for men that aren't respectful at all. Since the men are the ones spending for memberships on these sites, they are being catered to at the expensive of escort safety. Perhaps in the future escorts will ban together and create a review board that is run and operated by women since there are escort agencies that are built by and for women.

Odette
08-18-2013, 05:43 PM
Whoah "The place must have been full of Nigerian lottery winners, because the longer I stayed, the more in debt to the club I got. We—the other dancers and I—were in the middle of nowhere, living in overcrowded apartments, under bouncer supervision 24/7. "

I feel SO bad for this girl. This experience at this club sounds akin to human trafficking...she was in debt to the club ($200 house fee + $200 drink quota=$400 in fees to the club/day, that's some major debt...not nickels and dimes) and was being watched 24/7 by a club bouncer. She couldn't have left without paying back the club...If I owed a club over 1k (after a few days) I would be seriously freaking out. In that situation I don't know what I would do, I've never owed a club more than $60 in fees. I want to think I would not stoop to doing extras...but that is a real rock and hard place type of situation. And once you've done it. you've done it right, it's probably like dancing, once you realise you're not going to be smited and you feel just the same...

I don't think I could ever do extras because I'm super paranoid about STDs and you can still get herpes and hpv with a condom, but I don't judge girls that do. We're all in this business because we need fast money, and a girls' gotta do what she has to, though I wish they'd do it outside of the club or just fucking legalise brothels already. (I have developed this attitude more out of necessity as I work in an extras heavy city and I prefer this to hating 75% of the girls I work with) I prefer to have a pragmatic reason not to do extras than just "because they're dirty/gross/disgusting/degrading" because I think that's drawing some prrrreeeettttyyy fine lines between prostitution and lapdancing as most civy girls think the same exact things about lapdancing.

AmyLynne
08-18-2013, 06:38 PM
If you cant pay back the club its not like they can hold you there.. of that was the message then she should have called the cops.

The hatred for "extras girls" IMP is manufactured by dancers who can't make good money and need to whine about those who can. Ive been in this business for nearly 11 years and Ive never seen a case where this could be proven.

AmyLynne
08-18-2013, 06:38 PM
If you cant pay back the club its not like they can hold you there.. of that was the message then she should have called the cops.

The hatred for "extras girls" IMP is manufactured by dancers who can't make good money and need to whine about those who can. Ive been in this business for nearly 11 years and Ive never seen a case where this could be proven.

Tsepmet1
08-18-2013, 08:49 PM
Yes, because those of us that want extras girls out are all low-earning, lazy dancers. *eyeroll*

Aniela
08-19-2013, 02:13 AM
... The hatred for "extras girls" IMP is manufactured by dancers who can't make good money and need to whine about those who can. Ive been in this business for nearly 11 years and Ive never seen a case where this could be proven.

Right, my reasons for despising in-club hookers couldn't possibly have anything to do w/ the fear of getting swept up in a raid ... More customers feeling entitled to hold me down & assault me in the quest to 'get their $$'s worth' ... Getting fired for clocking a customer who tried to force his fingers inside me b/c according to the mgr 'We have customer expectations to cater to'. /end_sarcasm :mad: