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View Full Version : Looking at becoming a bouncer - What do you girls want out of your bouncers



vigilante_inc
06-14-2013, 10:16 PM
Let me preface this by saying I am new to the industry so I don't know the ins and outs yet. I also want to let everyone know I'm not getting into this to have sex with strippers. I'm just like most of the girls out there and I'm just here to make money.

Now that we know where my intentions lie, I hope I can gain some insight from the talent on here. I like to be the best at everything I do, and I want to make as much as possible. So the better I do for the girls the better I get paid in the long run.

So what traits do you want out of a bouncer?

Do you want the bouncer to step in quickly if a customer is getting touchey or do you want the chance to tell the customer to stop on your own.

Do you want the bouncers to try and be polite from the get go or would you prefer they be authoritive right off the bat so the customer knows their behavior is acceptable.

I've read on here about the girls flirting with the bouncers when they're not busy and how it makes them look more desirable than being alone, and it helps get customers. What level of flirting is the best? Like a general chit chat or much more involved and hands on?

Anything you can think of that makes a good and helpful bouncer. Feel free to share it. I'm willing to listen to all criticism and ideas.

All help is appreciated

vigilante_inc
06-14-2013, 11:30 PM
Also, I hope this is in the right place.

I've been reading through these forums the last few days and have found a plethera of information. Everyone seems very helpful.

Djoser
06-15-2013, 12:37 AM
The very best bouncers talk the problem customers out the door instead of using violence. I've done a little of this myself when DJing and no bouncers were available, and it will work with most guys. But about 30% (it varies widely from club to club) won't respond to verbal technique alone.

Some clubs prefer little or no violence be used. Other clubs want mean motherfuckers. I worked in one club that made the bouncers fuck someone up after about a two week trial, in order to keep the job. I don't mean a bloody nose either lol. That was a rough club...

vigilante_inc
06-15-2013, 04:23 AM
I have no problem talking people out the door. I may be new to bouncing but I've been a corrections officer for over 6 years now. Words are my friends. I always have prefered to talk things out but have no problem using force when needed either.

I probably wouldn't stay at a club if they required me to beat someone beyond what that person required to leave the club. So thanks for the heads up that those places exist I will make sure to steer clear.

BANHammerGoddess
06-15-2013, 05:56 AM
Depends on the club and the law of the land:

Over the years, the best bouncers have walked past my VIP rooms maybe once every ten or fifteen minutes. You don't look in, but your presence if we're having minor trouble, gives us the chance to say "oooo, I don't want to get in trouble with the club honey! Keep your hands where you're allowed." And ask the ladies what they want you to do-- tell them if the customer looks like he's going to be trouble, to have a code word or twitch-winking so that you know ahead of time to do more frequent sweeps and to look more menacing. I've also known dancers who, if they've had an issue, have thrown their shoe out of the room into the walkway. I've only had to do that once, and it's not something to rely on (because some places you can't take off shoes, or some shoes aren't easily taken off) but looking for anything out of the ordinary (once you've been there awhile and know what that is) and using your intuition when something seems off will help you a lot better than a step-by-step procedural checklist.

A lot of the time, sadly, clubs have bouncers do all sorts of shit that, frankly, isn't their job, like ferrying drinks from the back up to the bartender, having to go get change, or chit chat a lot with customers coming in the door. It's hard when your focus is going in twenty or more directions at once and so I would ask your boss how you want to prioritize--who gets your attention first, and who gets triaged down the line.

I understand that sometimes strippers can be some whiny mother fuckers. Same with the clients. You'll just have to learn how to kind of zone out and half listen while you're scanning the crowd, or communicating via face/hands with a stripper or customer behind the whiny person.

Also, if you point a customer in a dancer's direction, tell the custy to tell the girl WHO recommended her. I've had bouncers who, after I've worked a guy and danced for them after an hour then wanted me to tip them extra for supposedly pointing them my way (despite me doing my normal spiel and getting them up there in ten to fifteen minutes-- making them no harder or easier than any other customer I've worked solo.) So I've gotten into polite disagreements because no matter how likeable a bouncer is, I have to believe on some level that people in the club are going to try to take advantage of me and separate my time (the customer) or my money (the club) from me. You'll have to figure out a system, and please do NOT turn into one of those bouncers who points a girl at any guy saying "oh, he has money!" and just hoping for a blind shot in the dark. Because after the first couple of guys, we'll know you're full of shit and won't tip you well for a LONG time to come.

I would definitely ask if you can sit in the DJ booth for a few hours on a day when you're not starting so you can absorb the flow, see what's slow or fast, get the latest gossip from the DJs (notorious gossips, the lot of them! :) ), see who comes up to the DJ and acts like a cunt versus the ones who are a little bit lost or those who are there to work and be professional. See how the DJ handles each one and see, in your opinion, if that works and then tailor that to your strategy.

You're going to have to learn as you go. Most bouncers I've known though, unless you have a hardcore alcohol or similar addiction, seem to burn out around the 1-2 year mark. I don't know how to help you with that except have a life outside of the club, don't socialize with people from the club, and don't touch the candy-- it may help you last til the five or so year mark but it'll take a lot more out of your ass in the end. Also, NETWORK! Just like dancers, it's good to have a game plan. Luckily, you can put this job on your resume and most people won't give you shit except for some crass jokes. You're in an excellent position to befriend clientele, get to know them, collect business cards (if they give them to you, I wouldn't ask) and maybe when you're about to burn out, you have five or more excellent contacts who might be able to hook you up with a job.

vigilante_inc
06-15-2013, 06:07 AM
Awesome response. Thanks for the advice.

Djoser
06-15-2013, 05:40 PM
I understand that sometimes strippers can be some whiny mother fuckers. Same with the clients. You'll just have to learn how to kind of zone out and half listen while you're scanning the crowd, or communicating via face/hands with a stripper or customer behind the whiny person...

I would definitely ask if you can sit in the DJ booth for a few hours on a day when you're not starting so you can absorb the flow, see what's slow or fast, get the latest gossip from the DJs (notorious gossips, the lot of them! :) ), see who comes up to the DJ and acts like a cunt versus the ones who are a little bit lost or those who are there to work and be professional. See how the DJ handles each one and see, in your opinion, if that works and then tailor that to your strategy.

...have a life outside of the club, don't socialize with people from the club, and don't touch the candy-- it may help you last til the five or so year mark but it'll take a lot more out of your ass in the end.

That's some great advice! I never had a bouncer ask to sit in the booth, but if there was room and the guy was cool I wouldn't mind. Usually they will come and stand near it if they are bored and can do so, and if we are friendly. And hell yes the DJ can let you know who the crazy ones are!

;D

Ditto on don't eat the candy in the store, you will last way longer & make more money if you don't. Plus the smart thing to do, if you really like a girl, is to simply wait until she goes to another club.


ETA--oh and it is very, very rare for a club to require the bouncer pass a test by fucking someone up. That was a hellacious crazy club.

Djoser
06-16-2013, 05:26 PM
There are tales that must be told. But absolutely, names changed yes.

audreyalice
06-26-2013, 11:13 PM
make sure i am safe
do not give me shit and try to make me sell dances if there are very few customers, i am ultimatly there to make MY money, so if i want to sit with someone don't bug me. i will make MY money MY way
if you want me to tip, help me sell dances and don't talk about your problems to me, i am not there to be your friend
also, if you want me to tip and i get screwed out of getting paid, do your job and try to get it instead of giving me shit about not getting paid upfront, as this is not how it works in most clubs unless it is a club poilicy. this varys from place to place.
don't hit on me if i don't start the flirting.
basically, help me out and do your job... don't be an ass and be nice to everyone. it is ultimatly a business and you should remain professional.
hope this isn't harsh i am just being honest. i have know awesome and awful bouncers. dont be that guy i would want to smack.

Kellydancer
06-27-2013, 12:01 AM
Op, how big are you? I ask because it seems all the time some short wimpy guy wants to become a bouncer. When I ran a party business some of the men who showed up were a joke with no bouncing experience and short and skinny. Many were shorter than me. First off, don't go in to make friends. Be friendly but not friends. Don't date dancers and if you go in just because of wanting to date a dancer will make you a douchebag to many dancers. I liked most of the bouncers I worked with because they were good people and did a great job. They tended to be nice but firm.

arielbriel
06-27-2013, 01:02 AM
Don't act like a pimp aka Don't say things like "were making money tonight". Do not be touchy with the dancers. Learn their names. Do point them in the direction of the highrollers if you know if they make a sale, they will tip you. Do not point them towards a guy in hopes that he will have money so she will make money so YOU will make money. KNOW they have money and they want to spend it before you send a girl over. If they notice you're sending them to bogus broke guys, they will know you're a money hungry bullshitter. Find out what the club wants you to do first before you get overly aggressive.

zsigginz
11-07-2013, 01:21 AM
It's good to find a healthy balance with all these things. Mostly, the girls just like to feel safe and that they can trust a bouncer to intervene if a customer gets too touchy, or too drunk. Flirting with the girls is okay, just don't overdo it. For the most part, when the bouncers at my club flirt with me, it makes me feel more confident and gives me a bit of a boost for the night, and some girls need that.

Eric Stoner
11-08-2013, 08:33 AM
As a former manager and with years of security work under my belt,. plus having dated a number of dancers and knowing and talking to a LOT of dancers, a few thoughts:

1.The higher end clubs prefer competent and cool. The only exception I ever saw was the "goon squad" at the OLD Scores in NYC. Djoser is right - at least 90 % of the time a good bouncer can just walk a problem custie out the door without any violence.

2. You are there to work. Your job is to protect the club and the dancers. I've met, seen and heard of too many bouncers who saw their job as an opportunity to prey on the dancers - for sex and/or money. There is a sort of exception IF part of your job is to be a host. Most high end clubs divvy up the duties - hosts host and bouncers bounce. But if part of your job is to steer and/or help sell VIP's then a tip from the dancer is perfectly proper. Be professional. Nothing wrong with being complimentary but don't cross the line into flirting. It's too easily misunderstood and more trouble than it's worth.

3. A good bouncer psychs himself DOWN when dealing with a situation. Starting off cool and polite and then escalating to mean and tough , IF NEEDED , is a lot easier and more effective than charging in and then deciding a low key approach would be better. Again, the Scores "goon squad" was a prime example of how NOT to do it in too many cases. Where did they get some of those guys ? Actually I DO know but I'd rather not say on a public board.

4. The rules are the rules are the rules. If it's your job to enforce them - no contact , no drugs, whatever , be fair and CONSISTENT. Don't play favorites. Let the manager take it on his shoulders to sort things out ,make any exceptions etc.

5. Keep your eyes and ears open. A lot of troublemakers can be picked out as they enter the club. a lot of trouble can be seen brewing before it ever happens IF you stay on your toes.

Bone
11-08-2013, 03:07 PM
Having been a bouncer at clubs and bars and one offs I can tell you what has worked for me. I've never worked in a strip club so these are more general principals.

1. As has been stated here the best way to approach a bad situation is to be calm, collected, and most importantly non confrontational. If you barge into a situation you will only make it worse. I found one of the better ways to handle situations is get the person's attention focused on you and have the dancer or whoever get away from the situation. Listen to their side first, then try to get them to go to the bar or someplace away from the crowd while you go get the other side and let them cool off a bit. Phrases like "So tell me whats going on" "Tell me what happened" or "Why don't you and I talk about this" can work well, it helps focus their attention on you.

2. If you have to deal with a problem involving customers only the same thing can apply. Try and get the one who is calmer to back away a bit and get the agitated ones focus on you.

3. Be polite to the dancers, bartenders, etc who are working, ultimately you are there for them and the club. DO NOT GAWK! Be nice, polite, and keep your eyes up. I'm betting the last thing they want is a bouncer skeezing on them whenever they work together.

4. Many clubs have insurance and policies in place when it comes to bouncers and what they can and cannot do while they are working there which includes physical confrontations. Make sure you know the rules. And if you happen to be at the club, but not working, you cannot get involved. And just because you are a bouncer at club X doesn't mean you get to do the same at club Y. I've seen it happen to many times to count where a bouncer from one place things he can act the same at other places.

5. Throwing a punch is one thing, learning how to restrain and get someone under control is always the better choice. In many cities there are laws against throwing a punch, even if the guy is trying to hit you. And be aware of what is around you if you have to get physical. Get them on the ground, away from objects, and if all else fails just pig pile the guy.

AmyLynne
11-19-2013, 07:42 PM
Never play where you work. You're there to have our back, not fuck us literally or figuratively!

goreantx
11-19-2013, 09:35 PM
Act like we are dressed like nuns. Even if we are standing in front of you, all flushed and mussy from dancing, stark naked, to you we are NOT NAKED. Of course, if we drop any sort of "i need to know I'm pretty right now" then say something appropriate like "You look great!" We're going to flirt with you, because we're hyped up and in the zone, and it's your job to be the one guy in that god forsaken place that is bulletproof, and a safe shoulder to be vulnerable and ourselves on without being taken advantage of. So that's going to make your job harder because we're all little broken dollies and you're going to be the pillar of strength there, and that's going to make us be even more irresistible. I think I'm explaining this as best I can.

When you are coming into an area where we are naked, like the dressing room, announce you are coming and act like you are trying to cover our nakedness from your vision.

Have a good BS meter. Some girls are going to pull some unbelievable shit, like go around a bachelor party table and tell everyone they didn't get paid for the umpteen dances they've done so far at the table, and take payment from everyone there. Some girls are going to actually need you to go up to a customer and pull the "If you don't pay, I'll call the cops and have you arrested for public intoxication" bluff. My favorite bouncer of all time was there when I needed him, and scared the crap out of some asshat, and got me my measily two dances worth of cash, and then an extra 20 for the guy being a total douche and wasting all our time. It helps to keep your eyes actually on the situation, or confer with someone who saw what happened, so it isn't just a "he said she said" situation, but something that say the DJ actually saw and can say if a girl did dance or is just being sneaky.

Be honest. I can't stand it when I go in to get hired and they keep telling me to try again next week. I don't know what the rules are on that, but if you just tell me that I don't stand a chance, it saves us all so much damn time.

If a dance is too handsy, I much rather appreciate you coming up where the customer can't see you and just giving me the "I see you" face. Chances are I know that I'm bending the rules, and I'll fix the situation on my own. The second you step in, the customer is more than likely going to shut down, and there goes all my money. Plus, it just sucks to have a manager get some idea in his head about you and follow you around for two weeks and tap every single customer's arm you give a lap dance to. Like, seriously? (when you have girls that you set up to do extras and im NOT ONE OF THEM?!) Also, if you give me the "i see you" eyes, I can give you the "HELP ME" eyes or the "ohmygod im so sorry ill be good" eyes so we can take care of the situation as a team

So yea, hope that helps lol.

lestat1
11-25-2013, 01:30 PM
Speaking from personal experience and heavy bias, don't be a condescending asshole to every man who enters the club. Ruining my mood just guarantees that the first half dozen dancers to approach me have no chance of selling dances.