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View Full Version : Stripping being "degrading"



ToeOfTheCamel
06-24-2013, 03:42 PM
I was surprised last night when one of our more flamboyant girls expressed to me that she found our job to be "degrading". I tried to convince her otherwise, but not only would she not hear me, she told me that it was sad for me that I don't share her opinion. Does anyone else feel this way? I personally do not feel degraded or otherwise effected in terms of self-esteem by being a dancer. Yes, I am "worth more" than dancing around naked, but I'm also on my way to a degree and a life beyond this. Stripping has just been an incredible platform for my goals, and one with which I am comfortable. As far as showing my vagina off to strangers for money, I feel neither saddened nor happy about it. I guess I feel the same way about the naked aspect of my work as I did about pushing buttons on a screen at my former fast food job....Neutral? I don't see how it might be degrading, unless a girl is somehow forced into the industry or is trapped in it but wants to retire. That would be a shitty situation, and I thankfully cannot relate. My opinion is that girls who find adult work shameful should not do adult work, period, if avoidable. It would be degrading to share my beautiful, sacred body with many men for free in order to have my self-esteem reinforced, yes. I would find it degrading to work there if I felt ashamed of my body in some way, or had an anti-stripper disposition prior to becoming a stripper. Neither of those are true of me, though. I'm trying to understand why it's sad that I don't feel "degraded". This is just my job, like any other in most ways. It's just what I've chosen to do in order to be financially independent and fund my education. To me, it's only degrading if I allow it to be, if I feel shameful and dirty about it (which I don't. IMO nothing I do at work can be deemed dirty by the general population). I've just been thinking about what my co-worker told me, ever since last night.....

tuesdaymarie
06-24-2013, 05:02 PM
I think people who arrive at this kind of "no duh" answer are just used to viewing the world the way they've been told to. It's the same problem as people who always want a black or white/right or wrong dichotomy. Any activity could be degrading. Sure, stripping could be degrading in some situations, like the forced situation you suggested. I'm not saying I get some kind of burst of pride when I strap on platforms or whatever, but I am no more or less fulfilled than I would be if I had gone through with my first career plan (medical school), gotten all this higher education, trained till my thirties, then used all that to overcharge patients to pay my malpractice insurance while prescribing unnecessary antibiotics every time a toddler comes in with a snotty nose. What I'm saying is that I think very few professions are intrinsically more or less respectable than any others. You're still trading your time for money, and I've met some really fucking dumb people in law, medicine, academia, etc.

I actually just googled the exact definition of "degrading." I know what it means, but I always find it interesting to look at definitions. The first one that comes up is "causing a loss of self-respect; humiliating." So if stripping causes your coworker to lose her own self-respect, that's her business, and then yes, stripping is degrading for her. Anything else is just projection. It's sad to see that kind of judgment coming from someone within the industry, but many people just aren't particularly developed.

simone87
06-24-2013, 05:13 PM
people equate sex/sexuality/nudity *ESPECIALLY female sexuality* with degradation and " no self respect". its ridiculous, but just another way to shame women into submission. funny thing is, i see more women than men using the word slut, whore, and " that girl has no self respect" out of jealousy! its disgusting really. self respect has nothing to do with nudity and sexuality, so those need to just EXIT the self respect argument.

zivlet
06-24-2013, 05:16 PM
I dont feel degraded by stripping, at all.If a customer gets funny with me, and tries to degrade me I snap back and put them in their place, I always have a few witty/sarcastic comebacks ready for douches.
But the job in general, if anything makes me feel empowered. I'm myself at work, I hardly change my personality but I think if I wasn't a stripper I would be a less-confident person generally.
I agree with TuesdayMarie-Its supposedly degrading, that's the bona-fide way of looking at it. If you actually think about it , like I do It's like 'so okay, you use what you're born with to make money, sure you have to be naked but you see yourself naked every day what's the big deal', then suddenly it's not degrading any more.
I felt degraded in my old office job, being treated like shit by those above me because of their own insecurities, having people judge me because I made one mistake.
I struggle to feel degraded working for myself, no matter what it is I do, as long as I am successful.

ChefKitty
06-24-2013, 05:23 PM
I love what I am able to earn money doing. I would not dance and show off my body like this for free, but it's a hell of a job. When I get sick I take the time off I need to get better. When I am sad I take the time off in order to cheer up.
My family has not "been there" for me in a lot of aspects, and because of the job I have, I can afford to not beg them to be there for me. I have faith that in the long run, I'm doing the right thing by taking care of myself- even if some might have a negative opinion of it, of course they do because MY money that I earn is not paying THEIR bills.

Starling
06-24-2013, 06:56 PM
I don't feel degraded, just neutral, same as you.

She thinks it's "sad" because she does not understand your point of view.

There were a couple of occasions where some guy would say "Aw man, you're better than this bla bla bla." I don't care to hear their sobbing or opinion and try to quickly remove myself from their area. There is no point in trying to explain anything to them, it's none of their business.

OliveJardin
06-24-2013, 10:10 PM
My opinion is that girls who find adult work shameful should not do adult work, period

^I agree. It would be hard to survive in the adult industry with this mind set and it must also be mentally unhealthy to have that kind of attitude towards the job itself. Those who do, would be more likely to end up with serious issues from it i.e. depression, self esteem issues, anxiety etc. I don't understand how anyone could work in the industry and feel that way 100%. It would be very damaging to your self esteem/self worth.

ava$
06-25-2013, 09:09 AM
I also agree that if a person thinks its degrading then they shouldnt be in it, they have no business being in it. I mean they just look stupid if thats how they feel but yet they get naked and do it daily anyways, those r the ones who will end up with problems cause of it. I agree with the others, I love that I am pretty much my own boss, I can do or not do whatever I want and act like I want, I am not walking on egg shells for anyone. But at a "real job" you have to kiss ass, slave away forty hours per week just to pay a fat tax bill at the end of it and end up with peanuts for $$ to show for it. If I worked 40 hours per week Id be freakin rich in no time dancing. I feel like I have higher self esteem and know more of my worth since dancing. I mean I can work 3 6-7 hour shifts per week and make in one week what most make in a month working 5, 8 hour shifts in a "real job". I think that says alot about how you value your time. Id rather spend my time/effort to work for myself and build my business rather then spend it building someone else's business. I also think alot of girls/men who talk down about stripping are those who are jelous deep down that they cannot do it or dont have the guts to do it. But hey thats ok with me, I dont want stripping to become more popular as its alrdy become popular enough and that =less $$ for those of us alrdy in it..Let pple talk bad about us, let um think its degrading, good that means u wont try it and realize what it really is..lhh. I know off the subject because the girl talking bad about it alrdy does it but maybe she wants you out of it, maybe your taking $$ from her, who knows..

xxxGothBarbie
06-25-2013, 10:43 AM
Sometimes girls go through these mixed emotions feeling oh I am better than this blah blah, for two reasons 1.) They need a break or 2.) They are just simply not cut out for this type of work. Sometimes people will usually try & brainwash others into thinking that this enviroment is horrible & they should do other things, blah blah, however, unless THEY are paying the bills & taking them on vacations, making them happy then they should keep their "strong" opinions to themselves. I miss dancing :( I can't wait to start back up again, I hate not making MY own $$$ and taking those much needed vacations, buying things for myself, etc.

xxxGothBarbie
06-25-2013, 10:44 AM
I also agree that if a person thinks its degrading then they shouldnt be in it, they have no business being in it. I mean they just look stupid if thats how they feel but yet they get naked and do it daily anyways, those r the ones who will end up with problems cause of it. I agree with the others, I love that I am pretty much my own boss, I can do or not do whatever I want and act like I want, I am not walking on egg shells for anyone. But at a "real job" you have to kiss ass, slave away forty hours per week just to pay a fat tax bill at the end of it and end up with peanuts for $$ to show for it. If I worked 40 hours per week Id be freakin rich in no time dancing. I feel like I have higher self esteem and know more of my worth since dancing. I mean I can work 3 6-7 hour shifts per week and make in one week what most make in a month working 5, 8 hour shifts in a "real job". I think that says alot about how you value your time. Id rather spend my time/effort to work for myself and build my business rather then spend it building someone else's business. I also think alot of girls/men who talk down about stripping are those who are jelous deep down that they cannot do it or dont have the guts to do it. But hey thats ok with me, I dont want stripping to become more popular as its alrdy become popular enough and that =less $$ for those of us alrdy in it..Let pple talk bad about us, let um think its degrading, good that means u wont try it and realize what it really is..lhh. I know off the subject because the girl talking bad about it alrdy does it but maybe she wants you out of it, maybe your taking $$ from her, who knows..


I agree with you Ava ^^ :)

Aurora_Sunset
06-26-2013, 05:51 PM
People have vastly different boundaries for what they find degrading. I find it irksome when people project their own comfort levels onto others and think they should feel the same way about the subject. Like, why would you want other people to feel bad about something they're doing? :O Does it somehow affect her negatively if you don't feel bad about your job? If not, why should she care?

I have never felt degraded by stripping, or any form of sex work for that matter. The only times I've felt truly degraded in my life were when I was in positions where people thought it acceptable to talk down to me when they weren't in any position to do so (from my perspective) and/or I had no to little control over giving the shitty reaction I wanted to give. This mostly has happened in vanilla work. Having my hours fucked with, told to "pick up the pace" when I'm currently busting my ass for minimum wage, being told that I should "dress more conservatively" when I'm wearing slacks, a tank top, and a camisole over it - because god forbid you can tell that I have breasts if I don't wear a turtleneck.... these are instances where I've felt degraded - when I felt like my self-worth took a plummet cuz I had to listen to these stupid peoples' orders when I felt like they could go shove it. I don't know if I could ever feel degraded while being my own boss.

Feeling degraded because of the sexuality component just doesn't compute with me. I wouldn't do the jobs I do if I had any sort of issues with my sexuality or people acknowledging my sexuality as something they want to... Idk - is "rent" is kosher term for it? I honestly feel far worse about myself, my decisions, and the time I spent when I have an unfulfilling sexual encounter for free than I do when I dance, cam or escort and make money off of it. I guess some people don't have the luxury of walking away from a good paying job that makes them feel shitty because of their personal comfort levels and views on sexuality, but it's silly to think that everyone does or, especially should, have the same hang-ups.

audreyalice
06-26-2013, 10:45 PM
thanks for posting this :) i feel the same way, there are aspects of the job that sometimes i dont like but i do not feel degraded, just pretty much sexy :) some people are just going to be close-minded. screw em. and avoid that bitch.

ava$
06-26-2013, 11:08 PM
I honestly feel far worse about myself, my decisions, and the time I spent when I have an unfulfilling sexual encounter for free than I do when I dance, cam or escort and make money off of it.[/QUOTE]

This! It really sucks to have bad sex experiences and for free just tops it all off! Also, girls flash boobs and shit all the time when there just goin out, drinking, and having fun the same girls that talk bad about strippers. so in a way some of um do the same shit as us but arent even paid for it, how low is that?...js

tempest666
06-26-2013, 11:13 PM
Heh I "degrade" myself all the way to the bank smiling. ::)

cherryblossomsinspring
06-27-2013, 05:01 AM
I honestly feel far worse about myself, my decisions, and the time I spent when I have an unfulfilling sexual encounter for free than I do when I dance, cam or escort and make money off of it.

This! It really sucks to have bad sex experiences and for free just tops it all off! Also, girls flash boobs and shit all the time when there just goin out, drinking, and having fun the same girls that talk bad about strippers. so in a way some of um do the same shit as us but arent even paid for it, how low is that?...js[/QUOTE]

This^!!!!

I have felt degraded in the past when sleeping with someone and walking away without an orgasm and no $$$$. Oh and of course the dreaded wet spot that you forget until you roll over in your sleep and go ewww wtf?? Ohh right.. lol

I personally feel like I'm exactly where I have the most fun + money + great sexual outlet.

Every time I get some guy saying " but but don't you have needs??" and I think well sure rent for a few months, maybe 10K in extra savings etc. I think in terms of benefits /cost scenarios . If it has the potential to cost me more than what it's worth then I see no reason in engaging beyond a certain limit.

ToeOfTheCamel
06-27-2013, 01:03 PM
Oh my god. I keep trying to quick-reply, but it just redirects me to the Advanced reply page and doesn't save my text! KILLING ME!! I had so many frickin' responses for this thread! WASTE!!
I tried to post about it in Site Issues, but it wouldn't let me post the thread. I was once again redirected to the Advanced Reply page. The same thing happens when I click on smileys.... (^^^) rrraahhhh

ClarissaCC
06-29-2013, 07:23 AM
people equate sex/sexuality/nudity *ESPECIALLY female sexuality* with degradation and " no self respect". its ridiculous, but just another way to shame women into submission. funny thing is, i see more women than men using the word slut, whore, and " that girl has no self respect" out of jealousy! its disgusting really. self respect has nothing to do with nudity and sexuality, so those need to just EXIT the self respect argument.
Right on!!! It's the type of attitude you described that keeps women subordinated. I was in a conversation at work with a group of guys, and one other girl. One of the guys just revealed that he used to be a male strippper. The other girl in the convo said that she feels male stripping is less degrading than female stripping. WTH? Anyway, a lot of jobs use their bodies as their way to make money. I'm in the military and we service people, especially those in the infantry, use our bodies to make money. We aren't getting paid for our brains, and we literally sign away our lives saying that we'll die for the job. Admittedly, the cause is supposed to me more noble than when I take my clothes off on stage, but most people don't join the army because they are the noble hero the media portrays, they join for the job, the paycheck.
Anyway I got a little off topic, but I don't see why we should feel that using our bodies, and personality (because hustling is a big personality game) to make money!

Honey Ryder
06-29-2013, 07:30 PM
These are things that are an illusion of our environment. Some people might find sweeping floors at Mcdonalds for 7.25/hr degrading. In the short amount of time that I have been dancing...I don't feel degraded. I feel a lot less degraded at this job then I did at other jobs being treated like a lower class citizen for a fraction of what I make dancing.

Dancing was an easy way for me to dig my way out of my debt hole known as college. OTHER people want me to feel bad about my job, I certainly don't.

Honey Ryder
06-29-2013, 07:31 PM
I once read a quote that said "ya'll are hating on strippers when a lot of you hoes are giving away a lot more for free."

TRUE STORY

ava$
06-30-2013, 03:27 AM
^^^WORD,!! honey rider!lbs

smeca
06-30-2013, 09:07 AM
Yup, something feeling degrading is down to the person doing it. People try to degrade/humiliate others by calling them names- it doesn't work on me because it's just a word and what do i care what they think- tada, not degraded!

I actually felt a little degraded last night, because i haven't worked in a few weeks and have started a new thing i the day that i really enjoy... so i wasn't in the mood to spend my free time expending energy and attention to customers when i'd rather take care of myself or my bf. Which meant I sat around not approaching anyone in order to not feel degraded.

But a little while into the night i got a good customer who went straight to a room and spent lots, and all was well again lol. The point being that it's a POV thing. If you feel degraded then get out or change your perspective, you have the control. If I feel like i'm giving something up to the customers that i don't want to, bad, if i see it as myself taking all their money with my skill to use to make my way, good.