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yoda57us
11-04-2013, 11:07 AM
I don't doubt such dancers exist. I've even known a few of them myself, but I am pointing out that I think they are clearly in the minority.

Lol, how could you possibly know that Bem...

rickdugan
11-04-2013, 11:44 AM
Hi, thank you for all of the replies!And to everyone that asked why I dont have a job, I do have a job. And I am a full time student. It is just a low paying job like 99 percent of other college students. I am not able to commit to a full time job because I have school.

Why not? I worked 40 to 50+ hours per week (and more during school breaks) for 3 years while taking a full class load and pulled a high honors GPA in the process. There are 168 hours in a week and if you work 40 of them and spend another 20 of them sitting in class rooms, that still leaves you with over 100 hours per week to sleep, study, etc. And Vegas is not nearly as expensive as where I had to support myself in the northeast. Sometimes I had to get creative in scheduling double shifts on the weekends where I could and/or taking one or two night classes in order to consolidate my schedules a bit, but it is very doable.

If living with you has brought your 20 year old girlfriend to the point of financial desperation, then it sounds like you need to toughen up and get more serious about taking care of business. IMHO you don't have the right to tell your GF how to earn after being such a big part of the problem.

Oh, and DJ's experiences are similar to my own in that I rarely see situations where dancers who have SOs before they start dancing stay with them. IME, for many dancers, that step into dancing is also a step into financial and emotional independence. Maybe that will serve as an additional motivator for you.

bem401
11-04-2013, 12:06 PM
Lol, how could you possibly know that Bem...

The girls I'm referring to found the money slowing down ovwr time, to the point where they made getting out of the industry a priority. The once-comfortable lifestyles they led had become unsustainable. AFAIK, they had little or no nest egg with which to rely on while they looked for something to transition to. Most of them were not college graduates and had little to offer in job experience to open doors. I know this because some of the? approached me for help in finding alternative employment. As you probably know, RI is a place where who you know is at least as portant as what you know, and I used my connections to open a door or two for a friend or two.

kingkingking
11-04-2013, 01:58 PM
Why not? I worked 40 to 50+ hours per week (and more during school breaks) for 3 years while taking a full class load and pulled a high honors GPA in the process. There are 168 hours in a week and if you work 40 of them and spend another 20 of them sitting in class rooms, that still leaves you with over 100 hours per week to sleep, study, etc. And Vegas is not nearly as expensive as where I had to support myself in the northeast. Sometimes I had to get creative in scheduling double shifts on the weekends where I could and/or taking one or two night classes in order to consolidate my schedules a bit, but it is very doable.If living with you has brought your 20 year old girlfriend to the point of financial desperation, then it sounds like you need to toughen up and get more serious about taking care of business. IMHO you don't have the right to tell your GF how to earn after being such a big part of the problem.Oh, and DJ's experiences are similar to my own in that I rarely see situations where dancers who have SOs before they start dancing stay with them. IME, for many dancers, that step into dancing is also a step into financial and emotional independence. Maybe that will serve as an additional motivator for you.I guess I am just not as intelligent or pro-active in my time management as you then. I am taking the most classes that I can take while still maintaining a high GPA, which is 15 credits and 40 hours of work. I am involved in a multitude of other associations, all that are geared towards helping me out in my future career. I do not mooch off my SO at all. I am fine living like a college student, because I am a college student. She is used to getting 500 dollars of clothes every week, because her parents used to give her 500 dollars of clothes every week. Also, the reputation/lifestyle that any stripper that I know is extremely horrid. I am completely aware this is not the case for everyone..I'm just saying it doesn't help the situation at hand. I am not a stuckup person at all, I am just very protective of my girlfriend. She isn't very committed to school right now, and I don't think that she would be able to stick with it AT ALL if she found a way to "meat ends meet" for the time being.And I am "toughening up". The amount of people on here that are assuming I live off of my girlfriend is ludacris. I appreciate all of the responses, but I in no way feed off my of girlfriend. I pay the for the HEAVY majority of things, while also maintaining a mindset that if you want to be in a committed relationship, - where we are attempting to stay sober as well, - it would probably be best not to work in a business that is littered drugs, and perverted old people.

bem401
11-04-2013, 02:12 PM
If you are such a high-achieving college student why are you misspelling "ludicrous" as "ludacris". I know that's a rapper's name but come on, it's time to start spelling properly.

Jasmine.Doll
11-04-2013, 02:21 PM
We are in a very difficult financial state, being young and broke, and it's difficult for me to tell her "no" to something that would essentially erase any financial problems, probably for both of us.

I guess I misunderstood cuz in your original post, it really sounded like you were going to mooch off ur girl's stripper $, if she started stripping. So, her dancing is just intended to support her expensive shopping habits, not you....?

Jasmine.Doll
11-04-2013, 02:23 PM
I didn't assume that you were living off your girl, now. It just sounded like that was ur plan if you "let" her start stripping.

tuesdaymarie
11-04-2013, 02:31 PM
I think misunderstandings cropped up because in your first post, you said her stripping would solve her financial woes and your own. We tend to assume the worst in this section on the forum.

You seem like two very different people. You can't protect her from everything, unfortunately. It sounds like if she became a stripper she'd likely party at work and blow her cash shopping. That's the route a lot of girls take, and they're not ruined for life usually, but I imagine it causes turmoil in their love lives at the time. I realize I don't know y'all, but from what you're describing, it kind of sounds like y'all are going to grow apart, and she may end up stripping and having to figure things out for herself. That's just the impression I'm getting from the way you talk about the relationship. It's another reason why I think she should be on this site in place of you, because if she does start stripping and her only support network are these "extremely horrid" strippers she knows, well, that will likely influence her to behave similarly.

Essdub
11-04-2013, 02:44 PM
You seem like a decent guy to me, unfortunately it sounds like you have a girlfriend that is used to a lifestyle that she can't afford. It's admirable that you want to protect her from certain elements of temptation that may be rampant in strip clubs, but in the end sometimes you just have to let people make their own mistakes. I worked about 20 hours a week through college which was about right for me with the other activities I was involved in. I had a friend who worked full-time and still had a 4.0 GPA in his undergrad studies, he also completed law school in two years but apparently sleep was optional for him. Regardless of what some might tell you, I think you'd be better off focusing on your studies and future career. The idea that you need to work more to support her lifestyle is ridiculous at your age.

safado
11-04-2013, 03:45 PM
I guess I am just not as intelligent or pro-active in my time management as you then. I am taking the most classes that I can take while still maintaining a high GPA, which is 15 credits and 40 hours of work. I am involved in a multitude of other associations, all that are geared towards helping me out in my future career. I do not mooch off my SO at all. I am fine living like a college student, because I am a college student. She is used to getting 500 dollars of clothes every week, because her parents used to give her 500 dollars of clothes every week. Also, the reputation/lifestyle that any stripper that I know is extremely horrid. I am completely aware this is not the case for everyone..I'm just saying it doesn't help the situation at hand. I am not a stuckup person at all, I am just very protective of my girlfriend. She isn't very committed to school right now, and I don't think that she would be able to stick with it AT ALL if she found a way to "meat ends meet" for the time being.And I am "toughening up". The amount of people on here that are assuming I live off of my girlfriend is ludacris. I appreciate all of the responses, but I in no way feed off my of girlfriend. I pay the for the HEAVY majority of things, while also maintaining a mindset that if you want to be in a committed relationship, - where we are attempting to stay sober as well, - it would probably be best not to work in a business that is littered drugs, and perverted old people.

Good luck with helping her maintain that lifestyle.

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18uyc6qmh33kjgif/ku-xlarge.gif

no_touch
11-04-2013, 04:10 PM
Stripping along with being a cam girl is one of those jobs you either have control or it controls you. For her to do a job like this she can't be one of them shy girls that is afraid to say no, she has to be strong willed and be able to control the situation. There's nothing to say she couldn't just try it for one night and if she didn't like it then stop doing it. But the main thing for you is to both come up with a decision that you are both happy with and not enter something like this half heartedly.

Djoser
11-04-2013, 05:41 PM
I dunno Bem. I know quite a few dancers who have been at it for between ten and twenty years and seem pretty happy. They also own homes, cars, businesses and raise families from what can be a very good paying job if you take the right approach. Clearly there are girls who get into it with no real plan and get tired of the BS. My hunch is that those are not the girls who join a dancer support site like Stripper web..

Yeah I would have to agree that the members here seem a lot more together about being in the business long term than a lot of the long term dancers I have seen out in the clubs. But again I have worked in some rougher clubs and these are not ideal places by any stretch of the imagination. In those clubs Bem's estimate of affairs is a lot more likely to be true, which is frightening--but so are sharks in the water. Doesn't mean a smart woman with true inner self-confidence cannot swim with sharks for a few years and kickass. I've even seen a few of that type in the really rough clubs, but they are much harder to find there.

Getting back to the OP's situation, if her parents really gave her 500$ a week just for clothes, he is not going to be able to maintain her lifestyle or even come close to it no matter what he does. Neither is she...though if she is a hot 'natural' type (& a hustler) she could possibly do it in one of the better stripclubs. Some women just seem to take to the business and thrive. Others gets sucked in and find themselves in a bad situations some months or years down the road. Most newbies don't last more than a few months without seriously toughening up about a lot of things. And most dump the boyfriends lol.

yoda57us
11-04-2013, 05:47 PM
The girls I'm referring to found the money slowing down ovwr time, to the point where they made getting out of the industry a priority. The once-comfortable lifestyles they led had become unsustainable. AFAIK, they had little or no nest egg with which to rely on while they looked for something to transition to. Most of them were not college graduates and had little to offer in job experience to open doors. I know this because some of the? approached me for help in finding alternative employment. As you probably know, RI is a place where who you know is at least as portant as what you know, and I used my connections to open a door or two for a friend or two.

Right, so you've got the experiences of a few girls you know that used to dance and didn't like it. That's their story. Plenty of other dancers work hard, make good money and like the job. As you yourself have said in this site many times you don't club anymore and when you did it was primarily in Providence. I know that RI is famous for having some of the dirtiest strip clubs in the US but all cities and all clubs are not like Providence. It's a big world out there with lots of clubs and dancers. I've been reading here for over ten years now and it seems to me that most girls accept the job for what it is and do their best to earn a living doing it. Hell, I know girls who HAD an exit strategy and decided to stick with dancing after college because the money was so good and the hours so flexible.

RI is no different than any other state. I'm sure your friends appreciate the help you tried to give them but it's got nothing to do with the topic of this thread.

yoda57us
11-04-2013, 05:47 PM
The girls I'm referring to found the money slowing down ovwr time, to the point where they made getting out of the industry a priority. The once-comfortable lifestyles they led had become unsustainable. AFAIK, they had little or no nest egg with which to rely on while they looked for something to transition to. Most of them were not college graduates and had little to offer in job experience to open doors. I know this because some of the? approached me for help in finding alternative employment. As you probably know, RI is a place where who you know is at least as portant as what you know, and I used my connections to open a door or two for a friend or two.

Right, so you've got the experiences of a few girls you know that used to dance and didn't like it. That's their story. Plenty of other dancers work hard, make good money and like the job. As you yourself have said in this site many times you don't club anymore and when you did it was primarily in Providence. I know that RI is famous for having some of the dirtiest strip clubs in the US but all cities and all clubs are not like Providence. It's a big world out there with lots of clubs and dancers. I've been reading here for over ten years now and it seems to me that most girls accept the job for what it is and do their best to earn a living doing it. Hell, I know girls who HAD an exit strategy and decided to stick with dancing after college because the money was so good and the hours so flexible.

RI is no different than any other state. I'm sure your friends appreciate the help you tried to give them but it's got nothing to do with the topic of this thread.

oldster
11-04-2013, 05:59 PM
amusing timing for this piece in the local news:

http://www.wcvb.com/news/money/20-things-20yearolds-need-to-know/-/9848680/22469916/-/v93qfaz/-/index.html

[edit] most likely pretty straight laced, posting does not imply agreement with all points

Jasmine.Doll
11-04-2013, 06:14 PM
Most of a strippers I know who started using drugs, got caught up in illegal nonsense and had to fight to maintain a decent income didn't last more than a few years. Those are the girls that just aren't built for stripping and I feel like they generally don't last a super long time. In order to last a decade in the industry, I feel like you have to approach the job professionally. I think most girls who strip for a decade know what they are doing and take their jobs and whatnot seriously. But, maybe I'm missing something... Like I said, I avoid crazy strippers and mostly associate with the "boring" ones. But, I've known some strippers who were total train wrecks. They never lasted more than a year or 2. But the girls I know who've been dancing forever generally have their shit together...

Jasmine.Doll
11-04-2013, 06:17 PM
Stripping along with being a cam girl is one of those jobs you either have control or it controls you. For her to do a job like this she can't be one of them shy girls that is afraid to say no, she has to be strong willed and be able to control the situation.

I used to be incredibly shy and let men walk all over me. Stripping taught me how to assert myself and demand respect from others. Sounds kinda backwards, but that's what happened!

oldster
11-04-2013, 06:32 PM
you, shy, say it aint so....................

bem401
11-04-2013, 07:45 PM
Right, so you've got the experiences of a few girls you know that used to dance and didn't like it. That's their story. Plenty of other dancers work hard, make good money and like the job. As you yourself have said in this site many times you don't club anymore and when you did it was primarily in Providence. I know that RI is famous for having some of the dirtiest strip clubs in the US but all cities and all clubs are not like Providence. It's a big world out there with lots of clubs and dancers. I've been reading here for over ten years now and it seems to me that most girls accept the job for what it is and do their best to earn a living doing it. Hell, I know girls who HAD an exit strategy and decided to stick with dancing after college because the money was so good and the hours so flexible.

RI is no different than any other state. I'm sure your friends appreciate the help you tried to give them but it's got nothing to do with the topic of this thread.

I'm talking about a pool of perhaps a dozen dancers, all of whom worked in either RI or MA, all of whom acvepted the job for what it was and tried to make the best of.things. Nearly all of them had come to dislike just about everything related to dancing when the big money dried up. I will grant you my experience relates strictly to RI clubs from at leadt 3 orr 4 yrs ago though I still run into them and some girls.still dancing currently.

Jasmine.Doll
11-04-2013, 10:40 PM
I'm talking about a pool of perhaps a dozen dancers, all of whom worked in either RI or MA, all of whom acvepted the job for what it was and tried to make the best of.things. Nearly all of them had come to dislike just about everything related to dancing when the big money dried up. I will grant you my experience relates strictly to RI clubs from at leadt 3 orr 4 yrs ago though I still run into them and some girls.still dancing currently.


Sounds like a rather small sample size to justify such a big generalization.

whirlerz
11-04-2013, 11:25 PM
:soapbox:
I'm talking about a pool of perhaps a dozen dancers, all of whom worked in either RI or MA, all of whom acvepted the job for what it was and tried to make the best of.things. Nearly all of them had come to dislike just about everything related to dancing when the big money dried up. I will grant you my experience relates strictly to RI clubs from at leadt 3 orr 4 yrs ago though I still run into them and some girls.still dancing currently.

Wow. Do you ever just let it go, lol:beat:

Djoser
11-05-2013, 02:42 AM
I used to be incredibly shy and let men walk all over me. Stripping taught me how to assert myself and demand respect from others. Sounds kinda backwards, but that's what happened!

;D

Yeah that is one thing I do like to see happen, and it happens a lot. Bad as I have seen it be for a lot of women, it can also have a lot of advantages. Swimming with sharks can pay off sometimes.

rickdugan
11-05-2013, 05:28 AM
Dude, you posted this:



We are in a very difficult financial state, being young and broke, and it's difficult for me to tell her "no" to something that would essentially erase any financial problems, probably for both of us.


And are now claiming that you are paying the the bills, not living off of her and that your financial problems are a result of rampant clothing splurges. Alright then.

And then you posted this:



I am not able to commit to a full time job because I have school.


And now claim that you work 40 hours per week.

But ok, let's assume that everything you wrote in your most recent posts is true and chalk up your previous statements to an inability to tell the story accurately and completely the first time.

I'm not completely buying this white knight/save her from herself story and I suspect that you share more culpability than you are admitting here, but I'm going to post as if it is true. You cannot control her if she does not want to be controlled. If what you say is true, she is barely hanging on at school, has expensive spending habits and has no qualms about dancing. IMHO it is only a matter of time.

In any event, good luck.

Djoser
11-05-2013, 06:01 AM
Hmm very astute Rick

Zadi
11-05-2013, 12:25 PM
"meat ends meet"

aha now THERE's a money-maker!

Djoser
11-05-2013, 06:13 PM
I am taking the most classes that I can take while still maintaining a high GPA, which is 15 credits and 40 hours of work.

...it would probably be best not to work in a business that is littered drugs, and perverted old people.

Aha now I see what you mean by working 40 hours but being a student; some class schedules entail the equivalent of a 40 hour work week. Organic Chemistry at my school was supposedly a 40 hour week all on its own.

But if you are worried about your girl dancing, it's not the 'perverted old people' you gotta worry about. It's the occasional 'studmuffin with money' who will come in sometimes (a whole lot in my town, not sure about Vegas). If your girl is weak, she will go for it like so many others do on occasion. You will even read about it happening here in other areas of the forum if you look around. Though I am sure the dancers replying here in this thread are very professional. Not ALL dancers ALWAYS treat it like a 'just another job', trust me.

simone87
11-05-2013, 06:15 PM
but then again, if your girl is so weak-willed that she will fall for any hot guy with some money, she could do that in MANY other places other than a strip club..the college you guys are going to, through friends, or any vanilla job.

Djoser
11-05-2013, 06:19 PM
Yeah it's those same types that do go for it in the clubs. But there's been a shitload of them in some clubs I've worked. I sure wouldn't date them seriously, but some guys like that shit too.

lestat1
11-05-2013, 06:20 PM
Let her dance? As if it's up to you? Try pulling that crap and your relationship is over. Your relationship is also over after she starts dancing. It's also doomed because you're both 20 and still figuring out who you are and what you want. So basically you're screwed. Just enjoy it while it lasts.

Jasmine.Doll
11-05-2013, 06:27 PM
I don't think the perverted old people or the good looking guys with $ are the the primary threats to young dancers with no sense. Most of the newbies that I see crash and burn were corrupted by other dancers. Other dancers either introduced them to drugs, escorting or just a whole lotta parties. When I was a wild newbie, I went out with my new stripper friends almost nightly for the first year. I never hooked up with a single customer. I did get a little busy with a bunch of random dudes at all those after hours events... Never was dumb enough to get involved with drugs and all that, thankfully.

Djoser
11-05-2013, 06:35 PM
Most of the newbies that I see crash and burn were corrupted by other dancers. Other dancers either introduced them to drugs, escorting or just a whole lotta parties.

Very true!!

Djoser
11-05-2013, 11:46 PM
Jasmine u are so right! I have even seen seasoned dancers won over to 'The Dark Side' so to speak, hanging out with the wrong crew. I swear to god whenever I see a real cool girl hanging with the troublemakers, I am no longer surprised when she starts acting up.

I apologize to any and all who might take offense to my posts. I have seen the dark side a lot in the last 14 years. But just like you can't judge all DJs by the pricks--of which there are many haha--you can't judge all the dancers by the bad girls. Of which there are also many. I am just trying to be realistic, without telling people they can't beat the odds if they have enough heart.

musik22
11-12-2013, 12:31 PM
I just noticed your question Jasmine Doll. Why do I date strippers? I date them because: 1. a lot of them come from the background I come from so I can relate to them. 2. The love of certain things that we both enjoy like Ganja. 3. They are freaks in the bedroom. 4. They are freaks in the bedroom. 5. As I said earlier I am young and just looking to have fun. 6. Last but not least they are freaks in the bedroom.

Also all that stuff I was detailing wasn't happening to me in all my stripper relationships, some of those things happened to friends I knew who dated strippers.

I don't understand the confusion between dating a stripper and dating someone that tells you she wants to become a stripper? Basically if I'm dating someone that tells me she wants to be a stripper, I would rather not go down that road if I don't have to, knowing all I know about the stripping world, and I'm not telling her to quit something she's already doing. If I meet a stripper in a strip club and we start dating, stripping is what's she's doing, I can't tell her to quit something she's probably been doing for years, so I just gotta roll with it. Plus good luck with getting a dancer to stop stripping, you have a much better chance at getting her not to start at all. Also there will be a lot of changes in our relationship if she starts stripping.

naomi28
11-16-2013, 05:09 PM
I am 22 and a stripper and I have been seeing my boyfriend for just about a year. He is incredibly supportive and he trusts me, as he should. If you respect and care for your partner, respect her choice to do with her body as she pleases and don't rely on the money she works hard to earn. Pick up another job yourself.