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LoveyD
12-29-2021, 08:53 PM
The fuck? I gained 10 lbs. Went to the doctor & was shocked to see the number on the scale. Good thing is I joined a gym and am reevaluating my diet so I can make changes. Looks like I have to cut out caffeine again. Luckily my body responds quickly to weight training so I should be down 10 lbs in about a month. My goal is to lose 23 lbs.

I'm on my period too, and I know some of it may be water weight, but damn...

LoveyD
12-29-2021, 08:55 PM
Get some splints, (I call 'em splints(
I try to wear em to bed
56357

Thank you. I'm wondering if I got it doing years of pole tricks?

moneybags
12-30-2021, 03:24 AM
Playing the race card. I’m a pretty good ally, but I’m tired of being called racist by black men when they don’t get what they want. “you don’t like me because I’m black.” Nah it’s because you’re broke and you’ve been here all night and haven’t tipped me one dollar. Then I danced for this guy who said i must not like black guys. I was giving him a bad dance because he was trying to cum during the dance and his pants were so low I was scared his dick was going to come out. I don’t like broke, trashy men period.

miss.a.p1600
12-30-2021, 07:31 AM
^sounds like a cheap dude trying to troll after you called him out for lurking but not spending. He thought calling you racist was insulting to you but he doesn’t even know you like that. In his simple mind that was the quick easy insult. And in fact he was probably the one with the preconceived notions about race which is why he even brought up race in the first place

Unfortunately cheap dudes think women should accept n tolerate their cheapness. Then they lash out when no one wants to be around them cause they have broke mentality

Nah bruh get ya money right.

carmen_b
12-30-2021, 09:46 AM
^ I'm aggressive with guys like that. I will tell them " I have no problem with your skin color. I have a problem with you staring at me on stage for 10 minutes without tipping at all " or whatever the issue was , ha. Then I just let it go! Onto better people lol.

I remember last time I worked this black guy did that ( exactly what I described above ). He was sitting at the bar 10 feet from the stage but his eyes were 90% on me and not tipping. So I walked over after and said something like " would you like to tip me for my stage show ? " . Didn't get a dime but also he avoided me ( didn't stare anymore ) so WIN. Unless I missed something he didn't spend on anyone ( I have a pretty good eye ). I just like to remind the non spenders ( quickly ) that are not unseen in their antics. Dancers have EYES as well as tits ha.

By contrast this other black guy I talked to was super pleasant and complimentary. He ended up buying 4-5 dances with me the same night. We actually got into some conversations about racial stereotypes too because he had children but wanted me to know right away he wasn't a deadbeat . I immediately said " that's a nasty stereotype for your race and it needs to die " because I knew right away what he was getting at.

Marina Starr
12-30-2021, 11:54 AM
Having preference and who you want to fuck with or not is not racist. I have yet to find a black man that does it for me. I'm generally not into black men.
What kind of men and skin color I'm attracted to doesn't not make me racist. It's just my PREFERENCE.

It's ironic how the same people that are quick to holler 'racist' but it's okay when they do it to other people.


Playing the race card. I’m a pretty good ally, but I’m tired of being called racist by black men when they don’t get what they want. “you don’t like me because I’m black.” Nah it’s because you’re broke and you’ve been here all night and haven’t tipped me one dollar. Then I danced for this guy who said i must not like black guys. I was giving him a bad dance because he was trying to cum during the dance and his pants were so low I was scared his dick was going to come out. I don’t like broke, trashy men period.

TheBrownFox
12-30-2021, 11:55 AM
All hospital surgeries for the next few weeks have been cancelled, and I am DEVASTATED. My endometrial ablation (which would have been Jan. 7) is now moved to February 4th, which means I have to start all over and go to LabCorp for bloodwork AGAIN as it gets closer to that date. We already had a plan for who would pick me up from the hospital, and it was Mom. That was her day off.

This just ruined my fuckin day.

carmen_b
12-30-2021, 12:05 PM
^ I’m so sorry !
I know a friend too with surgery dates getting pushed ugh .
It’s so common right now . Building the emotional armor and then not being able to finally get it done is a bummer.

carmen_b
12-30-2021, 02:19 PM
I feel like the " should we or shouldn't we " travel somewhere for New Years has taken a lot of energy lately.
I have a preference to stay really. I'm pretty busy with some work things.
I have anxiety though that my partner having some time off will be stressful and if we stay he might regret it.
BUT ..... he didn't book our hotel ( which could have been done days ago and set the trip more " in motion" ) .

I just couldn't see our travel idea really working ( a Vegas hotel tonight and the 31st with his sister at her place ha ).

Hopefully the next two days WON'T be stressful. :/

LoveyD
12-30-2021, 06:17 PM
I think I need a trauma recovery coach for my life. All this pain keeps resurfacing and I burst out into tears at weird times, like grocery shopping. I'm at Starbucks now, still crying. I'm just letting it out. It's years upon years of shelved emotions surfacing and I have to cry and let it out.

carmen_b
12-30-2021, 06:28 PM
^ A lot of experts say our bodies " hold " pain and this is true for me too.
A trauma recovery expert ( therapist ) or a coach could be a great ally for you to have !

chanzep
12-30-2021, 06:46 PM
I'm stuck at home for NYE . With my rash dry lizard skin. My dark roots ugh. I cannot wait to be normal again. Being on these steroids has me up all night.I think I might look for overnight work for next job .

chanzep
12-30-2021, 06:48 PM
I had to call Comcast again because my bill is still messed up from all the service change madness smh. They said they will adjust it.

~Carmen~
12-30-2021, 07:45 PM
I'm sorry your surgery was delayed Brownfox. My daughter's surgery is scheduled in 2 weeks. We haven't heard anything about cancelling yet.

~Carmen~
12-30-2021, 07:48 PM
Can you request a woman to fill your instacart order? LOL God bless him, he tried but got half my order wrong.

LoveyD
12-30-2021, 08:26 PM
^ A lot of experts say our bodies " hold " pain and this is true for me too.
A trauma recovery expert ( therapist ) or a coach could be a great ally for you to have !

I've heard that too. I think it's part of having CPTSD. The emotional pain will rise up and hit me at strange times. I'm sorry this happens with you, too. I follow a few coaches on YouTube and Twitter and they've been helpful. I think a therapist would be a good idea.

Aurora_Sunset
12-31-2021, 01:12 PM
I had to call Comcast again because my bill is still messed up from all the service change madness smh. They said they will adjust it.

The last time my bill was messed up for months, despite multiple phone calls, I eventually did one of those "post-call customer survey" things and ranted about how ridiculous it was that I had called multiple times and been told the issue would resolve in "5-7 days" yet it had been a month. It was "magically" resolved a couple days after that written complaint, rather than a phone call with a customer service agent just telling what I wanted to hear.

Aurora_Sunset
12-31-2021, 01:14 PM
They called mandatory OT for Tuesday. I'm not mad about the OT - I wanted it - but that was the ONE day I didn't want to work next week, because I had my booster appointment scheduled. Now, I have to reschedule. Can't do it for the week after, cuz I'll be out of town. If they call mandatory for the following Tuesday as well, when I'll be visiting family, I'll be so mad. People make PLANS for going on vacation and such right after the holidays because we know we can go during normal times of the holiday season because it's Peak. It's so shitty to do this right after, when they've trapped us there since the week before Thanksgiving.

WendiStarr
12-31-2021, 04:10 PM
I went with the kids to pick up dinner and this Trumptard idiot in front of me(his truck was decorated in Trump stickers) appeared to be drunk already, driving. I was scared having him anywhere near me with his reckless driving. Now I'm wishing that I would've got his license plate and called the cops because he definitely did not belong on the road. If you're going to drink, call a damn uber or keep your ass at home.

miss.a.p1600
12-31-2021, 05:33 PM
I think I need a trauma recovery coach for my life. All this pain keeps resurfacing and I burst out into tears at weird times, like grocery shopping. I'm at Starbucks now, still crying. I'm just letting it out. It's years upon years of shelved emotions surfacing and I have to cry and let it out.

I've been there.

I got so tangled up with a narcissist and his covert abuse that I would be at work then burst out crying soon as the meeting was over.

I temporarily took some medications to help (it helped) but it took me years of personal development to get into a better mind space.

Sometimes you need to let it out.

I also find that exercising (like till you get a 'runners high') really helps too.

LoveyD
12-31-2021, 07:03 PM
^^ I joined a gym and have been working out and you're right, I love how it's making me feel already!And edibles help, too. I want to avoid pharmaceutical drugs bc some like effexor are a bitch to quit.

I'm sad Betty White passed away. But I am sure she is enjoying herself on the other side.

WonderWoman0642
01-01-2022, 09:10 AM
I get annoyed with the "small talk" at nail salons. I just wanted to get pampered yesterday. It was the first moment to myself in two weeks. And the girl doing my nails asked me soooo many questions. "Where do you work? Do you live here? How old are you? Do you have any kids? Do you have a boyfriend?" I just want to get my nails done, enough with the interview.

carmen_b
01-01-2022, 09:36 AM
^ You can ask during booking for minimal talking. I have done it. :)

Another trick is to bring music and just let the person know you prefer to zone out via headphones so to ask anything needed before the service starts ( color ect ).

kimbe
01-01-2022, 09:58 AM
I get annoyed with the "small talk" at nail salons. I just wanted to get pampered yesterday. It was the first moment to myself in two weeks. And the girl doing my nails asked me soooo many questions. "Where do you work? Do you live here? How old are you? Do you have any kids? Do you have a boyfriend?" I just want to get my nails done, enough with the interview.

Agree, very annoying! And unprofessional!
That's one of the reasons why I hate every time I have to go to a "new" person for things like this!

indiegirl
01-01-2022, 10:35 AM
Agree, very annoying! And unprofessional!
That's one of the reasons why I hate every time I have to go to a "new" person for things like this!

Lol what is with nail salons and hair stylists asking if you have a boyfriend every single time!! And when you say no they always respond "Why?! You're so pretty." like you're damaged goods for not being in a relationship. Sometimes I'd rather be honest "I'm a picky weirdo who farts a lot and I don't like catering to another mans needs outside of work."

I'm super annoyed because I'm getting ready to start my period in a matter of days and I just feel completely exhausted every single time I get close to it. I wish there was a way to stop my period. It serves no purpose to deal with this on a monthly basis.

kimbe
01-01-2022, 10:53 AM
^^ Remember once I got questioned about my personal status and was asked why I wasn't married/had a boyfriend (which wasn't true), I just answered that I just enjoy fucking random guys...

I didn't get more questions ;)

whirlerz
01-01-2022, 10:59 AM
Lol, kimbe

Just tell whoever you need some quiet time, ty.^
I know some places encourage the workers to 'interact'.

So I guess creepy meth guy isn't in the evicting process, I told landlord he's in his room, he just said, oh he's ok cause he just owes a couple weeks? ::)


The guy upstairs, (who methy took his keys) still hasn't asked for em back?
Alright then

kimbe
01-01-2022, 12:55 PM
Lol, kimbe

Just tell whoever you need some quiet time, ty.^
I know some places encourage the workers to 'interact'.


Of course, that would be the polite route, however, I don't think a person should start personal questioning unless the customer clearly signals an interest.

miss.a.p1600
01-01-2022, 01:16 PM
^youre right.

It may be a cultural thing too. Most of the nail salons I’ve been to have Korean women working there.

They might not be able to tell if you’re interested in small talk based solely off nonverbal cues (although putting in headphones is quite obvious)

I really think they ask those questions (which can be annoying to some) because they’re just trying to build small talk n make you feel comfortable/build rapport not realizing the questions can come off as intrusive which has the opposite effect than intended.

“Do you have a boyfriend” is one of the common - albeit annoying questions. Cause then it’s followed by “what? No boyfriend?” Like they’re trying to insinuate you’re damaged goods or something.

It’s hard to read between the lines if there is a cultural element to the mix that makes it more difficult and then you just have to be blunt (but in a tactful way)

carmen_b
01-01-2022, 01:21 PM
^ I think many women enjoy the " chat " experience when they are getting stuff done. I have always thought there should be a "conversation " indicator like an object or something to make it seamless you prefer no chatting.

carmen_b
01-01-2022, 01:25 PM
I am letting a photographer shoot boudoir at my AirBnB today, ha.

Of course he mentioned going up to it 55 minutes after the check out and the guests are " just getting " packed and organized. I hope the interaction went well because guests can be weird sometimes . I'm sure he was tactful I just hope the guests are not like " but someone came over " . I mean .... you were there 55 minutes PAST the check out otherwise you wouldn't have seen anyone come over . :/

Aurora_Sunset
01-01-2022, 01:45 PM
Any time my husband and I have a day off at the same time, he always wants to lie on the couch and watch TV together, but then he constantly falls asleep throughout the shows. If he doesn't wake up by the time whatever episode ends, I turn it off and go back to the bedroom to read, browse online, whatever. Eventually, I go back out there to get food or something and find him playing a video game and pouting about how I'm not spending time with him, because I'm "holed up in the bedroom." Motherfucker, you were asleep! Personally, I think I'm being polite by not continuing a show that he was into while he's sleeping.

But also, I don't want to stare at the TV all day. I get bored and antsy.

charlie61
01-01-2022, 01:47 PM
I think a lot of it has to do with tipping, too. I cannot stand small talk during stuff like that, and I'd always tip well. But i think generally, it's harder to not tip someone when they've been talking to you during your appointment, even if you haven't enjoyed the conversation.

Aurora_Sunset
01-01-2022, 01:50 PM
I know I need to clean and take down Christmas decorations tomorrow. But I'm not looking forward to it. Part of it is that I hate that I never seem to get them up until days before Christmas in the first place, so it's all this last minute effort, just to take it all down again. But I'm starting to be grossed out and annoyed by my own living space since I've just kinda let the holiday chaos and mess go all week. It needs to be done; time to move on from the festivities of Xmas and NYE and into the bleakness of January nothing-ness. Blergh

carmen_b
01-01-2022, 02:24 PM
Go out ! :)


Any time my husband and I have a day off at the same time, he always wants to lie on the couch and watch TV together, but then he constantly falls asleep throughout the shows. If he doesn't wake up by the time whatever episode ends, I turn it off and go back to the bedroom to read, browse online, whatever. Eventually, I go back out there to get food or something and find him playing a video game and pouting about how I'm not spending time with him, because I'm "holed up in the bedroom." Motherfucker, you were asleep! Personally, I think I'm being polite by not continuing a show that he was into while he's sleeping.

But also, I don't want to stare at the TV all day. I get bored and antsy.

Aurora_Sunset
01-01-2022, 02:49 PM
Go out ! :)

Seriously considering it! Just don't know where I would go. The weather is super shitty.

I swear, he woke up, came in here, crawled into bed; I asked if he was going back to sleep, he said no, and then passed out cuddling the cat 5 minutes later...
I'm bored!

I know he's mentally and physically exhausted as fuck between work and school, and this has been his week to just kinda crash out, but I don't want to sit inside all day, watching him sleep on and off.

miss.a.p1600
01-01-2022, 02:53 PM
I know I need to clean and take down Christmas decorations tomorrow. But I'm not looking forward to it. Part of it is that I hate that I never seem to get them up until days before Christmas in the first place, so it's all this last minute effort, just to take it all down again. But I'm starting to be grossed out and annoyed by my own living space since I've just kinda let the holiday chaos and mess go all week. It needs to be done; time to move on from the festivities of Xmas and NYE and into the bleakness of January nothing-ness. Blergh

Agreed. I like the ambiance of the lighting and wish it could stay up.

might look for some non holiday lighting n decor

i also threw up decorations last minute and waited till today to put them away cause I wanted my efforts to last at least a few days.

miss.a.p1600
01-01-2022, 02:56 PM
Seriously considering it! Just don't know where I would go. The weather is super shitty.

I swear, he woke up, came in here, crawled into bed; I asked if he was going back to sleep, he said no, and then passed out cuddling the cat 5 minutes later...
I'm bored!

I know he's mentally and physically exhausted as fuck between work and school, and this has been his week to just kinda crash out, but I don't want to sit inside all day, watching him sleep on and off.

Same.

im “locked in” here.

nothing much going on AND it’s raining.

thankfully L’s son is “holed up in his room playing video games” so he’s low maintenance. And he should be going back to Berthas house today.

if L keeps him another day, I’m leaving out this house for sure. Idgaf it it’s a tornado, earthquake, or tsunami I refuse to be locked in for any more parenting time that wasn’t scheduled.

whirlerz
01-01-2022, 04:49 PM
Not to single any particular one out, but,
as far as ppl talking to me,
I, personally, don't answer.
I live in a house full of people I try to say hi, thats it.
I just had 2 cam customers asking what part of __-__ (country) I live in, just kept repeating ____(name of country) Lmao.

Really, you're paying someone, & you let them ask? 's or talk & you don't want that?
Even if it's a different situation, no reason to respond if you don't want to!
One ? always leads to another, why open up a can o' worms? Seriously.

Idk about nail salons (anymore) the one I previously went to, they never talked, ever, not to me or the other customers. Very high end place. They played soothing music & had movies playing.

I noticed @Trader Joe's, they ask stuff, they must be told to by mgnt, cause everyone gets asked the same stuff, (other than did you find everything?)

I talk to my hair stylist, I like her tho.

LoveyD
01-01-2022, 05:03 PM
I've told my nail lady/ hair guy before "Hey I'm a little sleepy today. I am going to relax and meditate while you work your magic. Lmk if you have questions about my nails/ hair etc." Usually them they'll let me be. I hate chit chat too. Don't like sharing my personal business.

~Carmen~
01-01-2022, 06:02 PM
Good topic! I think some people are uncomfortable with silence. I'm not one of them.

miss.a.p1600
01-01-2022, 08:04 PM
^Ive noticed that too. I’m in the minority of people who is fine with moments of silence

carmen_b
01-01-2022, 08:28 PM
I'm considering telling my Mom about some current issues ( depression and the things with J ).
I feel like it's really hard to tell both sides accurately .
I currently am closeted ( sex work ) ..... I think.
I often think my family actually knows and just respects my attempts at discretion.
I feel like I can't fully explain J's and I and struggling without the sex work element also explained ( because he somehow has just held on like hell to this last shift I did ). The shift wasn't successful and I left the club in a huff ( pulling my dancer card out of the file and all lol ).

I want a family member to check in with but I also feel awkward ......

Maybe I should go straight to a therapist because I feel like these issues are just ridiculous.

carmen_b
01-01-2022, 08:33 PM
I'm currently on a sex work break anyway.
I ended up having enough income from other sources to skip a couple weeks .
I might really be done so I'm not sure it matters to say anything at this point anyway ?

WonderWoman0642
01-01-2022, 08:35 PM
Not to single any particular one out, but,
as far as ppl talking to me,
I, personally, don't answer.
I live in a house full of people I try to say hi, thats it.
I just had 2 cam customers asking what part of __-__ (country) I live in, just kept repeating ____(name of country) Lmao.

Really, you're paying someone, & you let them ask? 's or talk & you don't want that?
Even if it's a different situation, no reason to respond if you don't want to!
One ? always leads to another, why open up a can o' worms? Seriously.

Idk about nail salons (anymore) the one I previously went to, they never talked, ever, not to me or the other customers. Very high end place. They played soothing music & had movies playing.

I noticed @Trader Joe's, they ask stuff, they must be told to by mgnt, cause everyone gets asked the same stuff, (other than did you find everything?)

I talk to my hair stylist, I like her tho.

Good point. I’ve tried being very short with them but they don’t always take the hint. But I agree, there’s really no reason to respond since I’m paying for a service. Especially when the questions are really invasive.

carmen_b
01-01-2022, 08:47 PM
I sent a text to my Mom and feel better already honestly even reaching out and admitting I wanted to talk tomorrow!
I don't think we should have to hide when we are struggling from our family but there IS a sense of embarrassment ( there just is ) !

~Carmen~
01-01-2022, 09:42 PM
I sent a text to my Mom and feel better already honestly even reaching out and admitting I wanted to talk tomorrow!
I don't think we should have to hide when we are struggling from our family but there IS a sense of embarrassment ( there just is ) !

Talking to family can be therapeutic. You might be pleasantly surprised. See, you're already feeling better. I predict that you will feel even better after you talk. If I'm wrong, let me know. lol

carmen_b
01-01-2022, 10:45 PM
I can explain everything to her ( even the weirdness where he feels like he needs more sexually ).
I just don't feel quite right leaving the sex work element out because I am a handful in that respect in a way.
I am just trying to be fair explaining the issues.

I think he just can't seem to acknowledge that I'm having current depression issues.
This means a lower libido. There is less energy for everything not just him.

He and I are talking ( openly ) as we do .........

carmen_b
01-01-2022, 10:48 PM
Whew boy if I'd known my last dancer shift would cause this much negativity ...... wow.

It was an experience from hell anyway . I barely made anything and it was the night where I got back to hotel covered in smoke and the shower didn't work. Most horrible day I have had in months. I hid the horrible details and reported my shift as " just ok " to J and tried to move on. It didn't seem worth giving any more time to the horrendous experience it already was.

indiegirl
01-02-2022, 01:01 AM
Good topic! I think some people are uncomfortable with silence. I'm not one of them.

Same thing with some massage people. I didn't come to chit chat during a massage LOLLL. My first massage ever the lady brought up her daughters suicide attempt and anorexia. I was thinking "Well this is relaxing." Or people who want to work out with you at the gym and want to talk the entire time while you're out of breath. Some people can't do anything alone or need conversation all day long. My mom is such a chatty Kathy that she treats the hair salon as therapy. For me personally, self care is relaxation time and I'm down to read a magazine and not think hahaha.