View Full Version : I went to AA today
slowpoke
05-12-2015, 01:51 PM
How is it going? Congratulations on 4 months now:
http://sobrietycoins.com/images/4month.jpg
Addison Lynne
05-13-2015, 04:37 PM
I'm a friend of Bill...that is all
Addison Lynne
05-13-2015, 04:39 PM
....and can I ask where your from? Cause I would totally go to a meeting with you!!
pinups4
05-13-2015, 04:46 PM
Yaay!
slowpoke
05-13-2015, 05:50 PM
I'm a friend of Bill...that is all
Keep coming back.
TheWeirdOne
05-18-2015, 03:07 PM
I am 6 months something sober now. Thank you for all the support. I dealt with even more depression just a few weeks ago and some ppl say that the blues is a normal thing. I feel like I am motivated now more than ever to work my ass off and start fixing all my mistakes. I want to get on cam at least 3 hrs per day, as I go sometimes an entire week without logging in. I have been at my moms for almost 3 months now and havent accomplished anything I said I would. I guess I was recovering from surgery for about a month but still. I told my mom I wanted to move closer to my son so that I can be near him, its almost 200 miles away :( I need to cut contact with my toxic husband. I seriously need to start going to the therapist again to help me stay away from him. I dont get the urge to drink anymore but I know its time I start working the steps.
charlie61
05-18-2015, 03:55 PM
I am 6 months something sober now. Thank you for all the support. I dealt with even more depression just a few weeks ago and some ppl say that the blues is a normal thing. I feel like I am motivated now more than ever to work my ass off and start fixing all my mistakes. I want to get on cam at least 3 hrs per day, as I go sometimes an entire week without logging in. I have been at my moms for almost 3 months now and havent accomplished anything I said I would. I guess I was recovering from surgery for about a month but still. I told my mom I wanted to move closer to my son so that I can be near him, its almost 200 miles away :( I need to cut contact with my toxic husband. I seriously need to start going to the therapist again to help me stay away from him. I dont get the urge to drink anymore but I know its time I start working the steps.
You say "I haven't accomplished anything I said I would," and yet you are SIX MONTHS SOBER. Umm...cut yourself a break! That alone is an incredible accomplishment. Congratulations!!
:grouphug:
TheWeirdOne
05-18-2015, 04:04 PM
thanks charlie. :) Yes I guess i do need to cut myself a break. I love sw, you guys are great
slowpoke
05-18-2015, 04:34 PM
I am 6 months something sober now. Thank you for all the support.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d52qUlm2Wmk/TcLMiTNvhZI/AAAAAAAAC64/dC1L7-QbktQ/s1600/Picture%2B1312.jpg
There is your chip, I will get this right sooner or later.
slowpoke
06-13-2015, 02:57 PM
Well, how is it going?
Aurora14
06-23-2015, 10:16 AM
I've decided it is important to quit drinking. I have been having a hard time controlling how much I drink at work. I'm fine and then it's like a switch goes off. Shot, water, drink, water, shot, shot, drink, BAM! Head in the garbage can while the manager gets pants on me so the bouncer can throw me over his shoulder to get me to the car and my husband can drive me home. This has happened for 3 weeks straight. I can't keep doing it.
I'm taking time out of the club to avoid alcohol. I want to get it out of my system. Not even going to drink at home. I need to get rid of the urge/ craving for alcohol. I actually need to figure out WHY I'm drinking so much. There has to be a reason to it. When it is busy and I'm constantly moving, I'm fine. I don't get wasted, I make money, I walk out of the club being able to remember the night. When it is dead I sit with 1 customer and get wasted. Even if I get him in the CR, I get wasted. It sucks. I'm tired of it. I'm too old for this shit.
I'm going to cam/ film clips on the nights I would normally be at work. It is going to suck to not have the instant cash on hand all the time. But I'm will to budget and get paid twice a month to save my sanity.
3 days sober
slowpoke
06-23-2015, 11:28 AM
Have you been to an AA meeting yet?
Aurora14
06-24-2015, 10:28 AM
I haven't been to AA (or any of it's related forms) in a few years. I moved away from civilization last year, so I'm looking at a 1/2 hour drive to get to the closest meeting. I know that I have an addictive personality. It put me through rehab a few times as a teenager. I really think I just need to cut drinking out of my routines. No drinking at work, none at parties. At least there will always be a DD now. If I quit one thing I find a substitute to replace it.
After my mom died it was a rough couple of weeks. But I thought I got over it. I was doing very well at work, able to keep up on house work, just started cooking daily again, and bringing my kids out to play. But I recently quit playing WOW and quit smoking. I would spend about 6 hours a day gaming and smoked a pack a day. So I think the uptick in drinking may have to do with combination of those factors.
4 days sober
slowpoke
06-24-2015, 11:45 AM
There are some AA bulletin boards online. Have you checked for any online AA chat rooms? You can also read the big book online. I think the third edition had a story of one alcoholic called "Lifesaving Words" it was his account of getting sober without benefit of meetings. There is a summary of his story at
http://silkworth.net/aabiography/authorunknown4.html
And you might look around on that site. There seems a lot of good stuff there.
slowpoke
07-28-2015, 04:14 PM
How is it going?
TheWeirdOne
08-19-2015, 04:11 PM
Hey guys, sorry I havent updated. I will be a little more active on here. I do have a journal I write in so here is my entry for yesterday. Enjoy
08/18/15
Today, I sit in a very interesting position. Ive been arrested 9 times in less than a year. In the past year Ive had 4 miscarriages, one of which I was pregnant with twins. Today, is a special day. I am going back in time. Into a time I believed that little girl who blew out her birthday candles at her 7th birthday would really have her wish come true. "I wish that I could live in a castle when Im big." I have submitted my divorce papers and pending my divorce. I no longer have custody of my son, no car, no husband/boyfriend, no place of my own, and no vodka water bottles.
I appreciate the beauty all around us we often take for granted. I know that strangers want to smile and I want to smile back. I know that I am beautiful just the way I am and its incredible how much beauty each person I see has. I am no longer this angry bitch that hates humanity. I am no longer a hermit. I dont pretend I didnt hear them say hello or good morning. I fear nothing. The previous statement may be a little intense but its more or less true. I dont feel the constant fear or anxiety I felt in the past. 3 days ago, I went on a date. As I washed my face and got ready for bed I made a frightening realization. I actually told another person the truth who I am, and what Im really about. How long had I worn this facade? Turns out, Im pretty cool. I am interesting, funny, caring, silly, intelligent, and someone got to see the real me without embellishments or alterations. To all those people I suckered into a relationship only to later find that I was a drunk jerk, I am sorry.
LAChloe
08-19-2015, 04:33 PM
Hey guys, sorry I havent updated. I will be a little more active on here. I do have a journal I write in so here is my entry for yesterday. Enjoy
08/18/15
Today, I sit in a very interesting position. Ive been arrested 9 times in less than a year. In the past year Ive had 4 miscarriages, one of which I was pregnant with twins. Today, is a special day. I am going back in time. Into a time I believed that little girl who blew out her birthday candles at her 7th birthday would really have her wish come true. "I wish that I could live in a castle when Im big." I have submitted my divorce papers and pending my divorce. I no longer have custody of my son, no car, no husband/boyfriend, no place of my own, and no vodka water bottles.
I appreciate the beauty all around us we often take for granted. I know that strangers want to smile and I want to smile back. I know that I am beautiful just the way I am and its incredible how much beauty each person I see has. I am no longer this angry bitch that hates humanity. I am no longer a hermit. I dont pretend I didnt hear them say hello or good morning. I fear nothing. The previous statement may be a little intense but its more or less true. I dont feel the constant fear or anxiety I felt in the past. 3 days ago, I went on a date. As I washed my face and got ready for bed I made a frightening realization. I actually told another person the truth who I am, and what Im really about. How long had I worn this facade? Turns out, Im pretty cool. I am interesting, funny, caring, silly, intelligent, and someone got to see the real me without embellishments or alterations. To all those people I suckered into a relationship only to later find that I was a drunk jerk, I am sorry.
(hugs) keep it up! <3
AmericanFlyer
08-20-2015, 02:11 AM
You have made an incredible journey. I can't imagine the hardship and disappointment you have endured, and it sounds like you are on the road to happiness.
slowpoke
05-27-2016, 05:53 PM
Bump: How are you doing?
TheWeirdOne
05-30-2016, 11:35 PM
Bump: How are you doing?
Hey slowpoke, Im doing great :) Im still sober and Im working consistently and fixing all my legal problems from my rock bottom. I begin school in the summer and I have a car, and everything is going pretty steady. I get discouraged about me not fixing everything fast enough but I just snap out of it and remind myself Im doing the best I can. I swear like everything is going pretty cool. My relationship with my sons father is a million times better and Im a much better mother now. Im present and attentive. I even started coming around my extended family again. One thing i did have to do for my sobriety is cut toxic people out of my life. My evil sister being one of the people that got cut, but whatever. I dont need to take abuse from anyone. I am officially divorced from my ex husband :) I have some time in sobriety now, and I still dont have a sponsor. Im working at a topless club and I dont struggle with cravings anymore. I will have a getting drunk nightmare now and then but thats it. I havent been to as many meetings as Id like to go to and part of it is my insecurity about not having a sponsor and not having worked all the steps.
Nyla19
05-31-2016, 10:11 AM
I'm an alcoholic. I only have one glass of wine a week now But the fear of falling off the wagon always lingers in my mind. And I'm scared of it. I haven't been to AA in a while. But it's good to know its there if/when I need it. I'm glad to hear that you're doing well, The Weird One.
slowpoke
05-31-2016, 10:56 AM
Hey slowpoke, Im doing great :) Im still sober and Im working consistently and fixing all my legal problems from my rock bottom. I begin school in the summer and I have a car, and everything is going pretty steady. I get discouraged about me not fixing everything fast enough but I just snap out of it and remind myself Im doing the best I can. I swear like everything is going pretty cool. My relationship with my sons father is a million times better and Im a much better mother now. Im present and attentive. I even started coming around my extended family again. One thing i did have to do for my sobriety is cut toxic people out of my life. My evil sister being one of the people that got cut, but whatever. I dont need to take abuse from anyone. I am officially divorced from my ex husband :) I have some time in sobriety now, and I still dont have a sponsor. Im working at a topless club and I dont struggle with cravings anymore. I will have a getting drunk nightmare now and then but thats it. I havent been to as many meetings as Id like to go to and part of it is my insecurity about not having a sponsor and not having worked all the steps.
Congratulations. Don't worry about the getting drunk dreams (Wet dreams as some call them) they don't mean anything bad will happen. Don't let not having a sponsor keep you from meetings. As you make friends, a sponsorship may develop.
IndigoCat
06-08-2016, 08:59 PM
Hey slowpoke, Im doing great :) Im still sober and Im working consistently and fixing all my legal problems from my rock bottom. I begin school in the summer and I have a car, and everything is going pretty steady. I get discouraged about me not fixing everything fast enough but I just snap out of it and remind myself Im doing the best I can. I swear like everything is going pretty cool. My relationship with my sons father is a million times better and Im a much better mother now. Im present and attentive. I even started coming around my extended family again. One thing i did have to do for my sobriety is cut toxic people out of my life. My evil sister being one of the people that got cut, but whatever. I dont need to
take abuse from anyone. I am officially divorced from my ex husband :) I have some time in sobriety now, and I still dont have a sponsor. Im working at a topless club and I dont struggle with cravings anymore. I will have a getting drunk nightmare now and then but thats it. I havent been to as many meetings as Id like to go to and part of it is my insecurity about not having a sponsor and not having worked all the steps.
Hey the weird one , I can relate to the feeling of not having a sponsor and having that weird feeling about it. It took me awhile to find a sponsor and get into doing the steps but a lot changed when I got a sponsor and started the steps. It really helped me yea i was staying sober with just going to meetings but I got soo much more out of doing the steps and doing more in the fellowship then just attending meetings. Its such a amazing spiritual experience! Best of luck to you :)
TheWeirdOne
06-27-2016, 12:37 PM
Hey the weird one , I can relate to the feeling of not having a sponsor and having that weird feeling about it. It took me awhile to find a sponsor and get into doing the steps but a lot changed when I got a sponsor and started the steps. It really helped me yea i was staying sober with just going to meetings but I got soo much more out of doing the steps and doing more in the fellowship then just attending meetings. Its such a amazing spiritual experience! Best of luck to you :)
I'm at a meeting today. I am ready to get a sponsor. I'm still sober.
slowpoke
06-27-2016, 01:27 PM
Great! As they say in meetings Keep Coming Back!
whirlerz
06-27-2016, 02:22 PM
Pokey!
& yea OP, keep up the good work!
slowpoke
06-27-2016, 03:57 PM
Whirleeeeeeeeee!
SylvySinclair
06-27-2016, 04:08 PM
Im sorry i didnt look into this thread earlier, i had problems with cocain when i was a teen and i quit itbecause of my will and im here firm and strong. i cut my marriage where my ex used drugs and i know i did much better without him. so for all the girls who have started a new life, drugs and alcohol free, im so proud of all of u!
slowpoke
07-14-2016, 03:22 PM
How is it going?
TheWeirdOne
08-22-2016, 02:16 PM
Im on my phone but ill write an update soon
TheWeirdOne
08-30-2016, 07:54 AM
How is it going?
08/30/2016
Here is the update:
I am just about 2-3 months from reaching two years sober. I am mostly retired from dancing, I go in maybe 2-3 times a month. I see my son now fri-sun and lunch during the week if its possible. During his summer break he lived here mostly and then visit his dad on the weekends. The relationship between his father and I is completely cordial. As much as I hate to admit it, I honestly think my son is happy being with his dad. He has 2 brothers over there and his dad and his stepmother have been married since my boy was 6 months old. Its sucks to have to admit it now but if all biases were taken out and I had to make a decision I may have went with the decision the judge made too :( My son now knows that I am a full time student and he knows mommy gets really good grades :) As of now its a 3.5
I no longer live with family, I am happy at my place. I study full time and getting kick ass grades. As of now, I cant see anything that would stop me from going to law school. I am majoring in the legal field and I love it so much. Despite what most people think, I want it for me. I plan to get an AA and begin to work, helping my case to get my son back. My cravings for alcohol come less and less now. I no longer want to feel the buzz or the fuzzies drinking would give me, I sometimes craves the taste of beer. Although towards the ending of my drinking I only needed vodka and whiskey, straight, beer was always awesome. I miss the feeling of it with food, for example mexican food. The new friends I have made in my life do not, or cannot believe that I am an alcoholic. They just think there is no way for me to be this "good" and have an disease like that. As a hobby, I am planning to get a formal certification for treating alcoholic patients. There are two reasons for this. One, is that although I love AA and owe them my life, I find it very cult like. No matter now good the intentions, sometimes they deter people who need help. Having a certification would help have "some credential" and also the real life experience. Secondly, if my alcohol related arrested are brought up in court I can say that I am now sober but also helping others.
Dancing. I am having a very difficult relationship with dancing. Perhaps its my inability to forget all the bad drinking memories during my nights of dancing. No one get offended, but I feel like dancing isnt for me anymore. Its getting harder to dance and even years and months ago, I felt like just out of place now. I really wish I didnt feel this way, God knows I need the money LOL
Thats all for now. Anyone reading this having troubles with alcohol, please know that there is help and there are no commitments. Also feel free to PM me
oldster
08-30-2016, 10:00 AM
Congrats on all your amazing progress
Keep up the hard work!
slowpoke
08-30-2016, 12:39 PM
Congratulations
"Keep coming back!"
Ifyouseekamy
08-30-2016, 01:34 PM
I quit drinking because I have IBS, maybe prevented me from full blown alcoholism. Anyways, I carry glass bottles of sparkling soda at work so I fit in. Maybe that's silly, and it works for me. I also go to bars and order Sprite. Keep on keeping on. Even if it's not alcoholism, not drinking is way healthier and less stressful. I'm happy to do a soberity test when I get pulled over for driving late (eye roll) it's worth it! You will also develop character and strength to develop will help you succeed in other ways.
Shannon.
09-02-2016, 09:50 AM
Agree with letting the staff know. I quickly did not like drinking at work, so the bartender approached me and told me to order drinks and they'd make it virgin. It's a win win.
let’s bring this back!! I was a crazy alcoholic, dancing probably caused it. I usually need 4 drinks before work, and all the drinks during work. I have lost everything and am back home with my parents. I truly love dancing, and being back near my home club (banging money, great staff) is making it difficult to forget dancing. I’m living a regular vanilla life at the moment, but would love to get back into dancing in a year or so....I think. Does anyone have any experience? Or thoughts? I don’t know where I’ll be financially in a year, but could always use the money. I just loved having men drooling over me, the feeling of being naked, dancing on the stage, conversations. But stripping is where my downfall started. It’s probably too early to even be thinking about this, as I’m only 32 days sober.
slowpoke
03-11-2019, 05:26 PM
The big book says:
Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we
must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so. We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything! Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem. In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed. So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn't
https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt7.pdf
When you have a legitimate reason -job- you should be able to work in a bar.
Jalena
03-11-2019, 07:29 PM
let’s bring this back!! I was a crazy alcoholic, dancing probably caused it. I usually need 4 drinks before work, and all the drinks during work. I have lost everything and am back home with my parents. I truly love dancing, and being back near my home club (banging money, great staff) is making it difficult to forget dancing. I’m living a regular vanilla life at the moment, but would love to get back into dancing in a year or so....I think. Does anyone have any experience? Or thoughts? I don’t know where I’ll be financially in a year, but could always use the money. I just loved having men drooling over me, the feeling of being naked, dancing on the stage, conversations. But stripping is where my downfall started. It’s probably too early to even be thinking about this, as I’m only 32 days sober.
One of the most important things is being able to tell yourself, and others, NO.
I certainly had my share of customers who demand that I drink with them. My main reasons for avoiding alcohol while working were not addiction-related per se, but addiction and mental illness do run strongly on both sides of my family so I am careful about when I do drink in order to not tempt that particular fate. There can be a lot of pressure from both customers and management to push drinks, and join in the drinking, under the threat of losing out on money. That's the ace these people love to play -- if you want my money, you have to get sloshed with me.
But it is bullshit. They may not pay you, they may even rudely send you away 'because you're no fun' ... but you must remember in the moment that there will ALWAYS be another customer who will be cool with you not imbibing. The customer that gives you shit for refusing to jeopardise your own well-being in the name of his good time is not a customer you want to have. Some customers IME have also struggled with alcoholism themselves and will choose a non-drinking dancer over a party girl for this reason.
Remember that there is no rush, nor requirement, to ever work in that environment again. There is also no shame in accepting that going back could cause more harm than good. If you ever do go back, tell your management/bartenders that you are in recovery. Their willingness to work with you to avoid drinking will tell you all you need to know about whether you should work with them. Should the time come where you being to more seriously consider going back, read through any threads on here about avoiding drinking at work, and give yourself lots of time to practise verbally declining drinks. The more you do it, the easier it will get.
Ifyouseekamy
03-12-2019, 02:10 AM
The 12 step program saved my life. I actually started going after I quit drinking. I prefer to work at byob or no alcohol places.