View Full Version : how many men is too much?
xStacey
02-23-2014, 01:51 PM
Oh wow I totally agree with everything you've just said! And I thought I was the only one who has some kind of "weird logic" LOL. I think the same way... It sucks to have to go through so many frogs before finding the unicorn though... If only it were possible to know beforehand if the sex will be good or not before sleeping with them...
Aurora_Sunset
02-23-2014, 01:54 PM
If only we could start a social networking site of women that was like a review board for men, like the way that hobbyists review escorts. Not only would it save a bunch of headaches but I bet men would shape up in making an effort to become better lovers!
*sigh* A girl can dream lol
xStacey
02-23-2014, 02:09 PM
I should set you up with the last guy I had sex with! He lasted 55 minutes. Oh my god I wanted to die I was in so much pain.
I do agree that sex is better when you have a relationship with that person of course... I mean, besides the fact that they know your body, what you like, and actually want to please you, the fact that you have an emotional connection and feel secure with them (the 2nd part is HUGE for me to enjoy sex) makes it 1000% times better.
This reminds me of the first time I slept with the last guy i dated. He lasted an hour too, then we cuddled for around 30 mins and he already wanted more. I thought he was taking viagra or something. The next day it was a bit difficult to walk lol it took some time to get used to but after that the sex was always amazing! He could come four times in a row, we always made sure to rest well the day before we see each other because it was quite intense haha...
He also spent a lot of time on foreplay, oral, he really liked to snuggle too... Sigh if only more men could be like that!
I think I am getting a bit off-topic though :p
Flickdreams
02-24-2014, 12:56 AM
^ why not, gives me the warm and fuzzies... or the wet and tingle-ies.
audrey_k
02-24-2014, 11:19 AM
This reminds me of the first time I slept with the last guy i dated. He lasted an hour too, then we cuddled for around 30 mins and he already wanted more. I thought he was taking viagra or something. The next day it was a bit difficult to walk lol it took some time to get used to but after that the sex was always amazing! He could come four times in a row, we always made sure to rest well the day before we see each other because it was quite intense haha...
He also spent a lot of time on foreplay, oral, he really liked to snuggle too... Sigh if only more men could be like that!
I think I am getting a bit off-topic though :p
I don't know, I'm good with 15 minutes of sex, lol. I'm really more into foreplay so my biggest disappointment is when I sleep with a guy and he just wants to go right to having sex. Lame.
DonaDiabla
02-24-2014, 02:26 PM
I don't know, I'm good with 15 minutes of sex, lol. I'm really more into foreplay so my biggest disappointment is when I sleep with a guy and he just wants to go right to having sex. Lame.
Hmmm...I would love to take a guy that is interest in sex more than foreplay :) That is just because I am already warmed up and I want him to go right into it :)
KikiGem
02-27-2014, 02:07 AM
My life has been such a blur. I'm 18 and I dont even remember how many but I estimate 15. I don't let it bring me down and I am still just as valuable as anyone despite my past.
miss.a.p1600
03-05-2014, 11:01 AM
How many men is too much is really subjective.
The main thing is to protect your mental and physical health while exploring your sexuality.
Worrying about numbers just puts on unnecessary stress an guilt. When I was younger, girls would compare numbers and judge so almost always 'the number' was decreased to prevent scrutiny.
Now I realize no matter what your number, unless you are a true virgin (no sex of any kind) people will judge regardless so you may as well explore your sexuality in a way that's safe and comfortable for you.
By the way I'm older than most of you here. I lost my virginity early at 13 being pressured and not having guidance - totally regret it looking back. Since then I had 8 partners intercourse and 2 partners oral sex. I've been celibate for past 3 years otherwise that number would be higher.
Aurora_Sunset
03-07-2014, 11:13 PM
Now I realize no matter what your number, unless you are a true virgin (no sex of any kind) people will judge regardless
And even if you are a virgin, after a certain point, they'll judge you as a "prude" anyway! You can't win. May as well do what makes you happy.
starlily
03-08-2014, 03:29 AM
Hmmm...I would love to take a guy that is interest in sex more than foreplay :) That is just because I am already warmed up and I want him to go right into it :)
Dude I know! As soon as I lay eyes upon his dick, I am good to go.
And probably even before that.
XxAmber89xX
03-08-2014, 07:18 AM
I'll be 25 this year and I've only been in one LTR, but had sex with 16 different men, much more if you consider work or other messing around stuff. As for slut shaming, it's kinda weird- I think I'm somewhat slutty, but not to the point that I feel shame for it. I do like to get involved in sexy situations often and they don't always need to result in sex. Yes, people will judge whether they know something or not. I can't let that bother me.
MarvelGirl
03-08-2014, 12:23 PM
I'm in the triple digits and all my parts still work just fine. Plus people don't throw garbage at me or scream "WHORE!" when I walk down the street. On top of that I have a wonderful husband and a wonderful boyfriend who both respect me.
I don't feel any shame about it at all and I've just laughed anytime someone's tried to shame me for it. It's my vagina and I'll use it if I want to.
XxAmber89xX
03-09-2014, 06:52 PM
you are an inspiration marvelgirl... I wish I could pull that off!
Savannah Lee
03-16-2014, 05:12 PM
I'm 23 and have been in a relationship for the past two years. When I was 19 I was with my ex for a year and a half. I lost my virginity when I was 13 and have been with about 25 men. I could add about another 10 or so that were just oral sex. I've never had an STD and don't regret any of it. I've had a lot of great sex and I love the variety. I've had anal sex with all of them too, I kind of prefer it more.
PrincessN
04-03-2014, 06:26 PM
i am double figures, high end, but only due to escorting, definitely been worth it though
SammieGurl
04-04-2014, 09:46 AM
I am in my triple digits for sure. If I sat down and figured it out maybe even in the thousands because of escorting. I've been escorting for over 12 years so it doesn't take long over time. I don't regret it though because I've made so many friends and perks over the years.
Body wise it still works fine and never had serious issues. To me sex is not a big deal obviously but even so after you've lost your virginity. What's the huge difference between having 15 sexual partners and 20? And so on...
audrey_k
04-05-2014, 01:05 AM
I went to get a pap smear last week and the doctor was asking me about my sexual history-- she asked me how many people I'd had sex with in the last six months and I said four and she asked me if any were serious relationships. I told her two of them were relationships and other two were casual. Oh my god did I get on HELLUVA judgmental look from her, I was so annoyed. She told me that I was putting myself at risk even though I told her I hadn't had unprotected sex with anyone and then she starting talking about how "large amounts of casual sex" is linked to cancer???
xStacey
04-05-2014, 02:24 AM
Lol I had one female doctor who seemed quite judgmental too when she asked me about the numbers of partner I had in my whole life...
On the other side, I went to get tested a couple of weeks ago and saw a new male doctor. He asked me if there was a specific reason why I wanted to get tested for aids... I said no, I like getting checked twice per year. He then proceeded to ask me why I "get tested so much". I replied I like having various partners. He asked if I have any risky sexual behaviors I replied that it's always protected except for oral... He then told me I shouldn't worry so much and that I should get tested less often if I have no symptoms... He also made a 15 mins speech about stds to convince me about how the risks of transmission are very minimal if it's protected sex even if the condom broke once and that I have multiple partners... It was a little weird to hear that from a doc.
pinkpvc
04-05-2014, 02:45 AM
she starting talking about how "large amounts of casual sex" is linked to cancer???
Hmm I was going to call bs but the truth is HPV which may lead to cervical
Cancer is caused by genital to genital contact even if a condom is used. On the other hand I got HPV from my partner who has only had sex in committed relationships. So it really doesn't care if the sex was casual. Most people have HPV without realising and it usually goes away by itself (mine did after 6 months)
So its a semi-truth, just get regular smears to keep an eye on things.
I lost count of the men I slept with and always used condoms and never got anything nasty until I met my current partner.
Just wanted to add that the nurse who did my cervical smear said I shouldn't be on antidepressants and should go on sunbeds instead?! So judgemental and inappropriate especially when staring at my lady bits
Kellydancer
04-08-2014, 06:51 PM
Those doctors sound judgmental. HPV is very easy to catch and it doesn't matter whether the partner was casual or serious, sex can cause it. Most people do have a strain of it. I had it and had it removed.
simone87
04-08-2014, 07:15 PM
Just wanted to add that the nurse who did my cervical smear said I shouldn't be on antidepressants and should go on sunbeds instead?! So judgemental and inappropriate especially when staring at my lady bits
an actual medical professional told you this??? yeah cause catching skin cancer will cure depression way better than something that could possibly correct a chemical imbalance in your brain.. what an idiot!
charlie61
04-09-2014, 04:18 PM
It sort of freaked me out that my two best friends have only slept with half the number of people I've slept with.
Well it's not as if your friends had slept with 50 people each and you've slept with 100. I mean, even if you'd only slept with 2 people, if they'd slept with 1 person each, they technically have slept with "half the number" of people you've slept with. Just putting that into perspective.
As long as you're safe, the number doesn't matter at all. What matters more is how you feel about your number.
I'm asexual, so I'm jealous as fuck of people who are gay, straight, bi, or pan. Get it, girl! :devil:
charlie61
04-09-2014, 04:27 PM
Now that I've been thinking about it, I guess patterns are much more relevant than numbers.
So let's say you've slept with 10 people, and you were genuinely in love with every single one of them (this may show that you have the capacity to care about people - even ones you don't know very well). Or let's say you slept with 10 people, and you genuinely didn't give a shit about any of them (this may reveal some underlying intimacy issue). The number is arbitrary, but the pattern is interesting, isn't it? It says something about how you interact with people.
mia_noxx
04-09-2014, 08:56 PM
there is no such thing as a ''way too high'' number.. it all depends of the person in discussion.
i've lost my virginity at 13... i'm 22 now, so in 9 years i've had 7 men in total... 3 of them in a long serious relationship, one fuck buddy, one charity case, and one asshole (my first), and one rape.
@charlie61.. couldn't've said it any better ! *bows*
kaninchen
05-02-2014, 06:59 PM
In a rather ironic twist of events, I stopped sleeping around when I became a dancer. I'm 27 and I've been with at least 40 men and two women. Whatever! Who cares? Quantifying sexual activity is ridiculous. Not that it's your fault for feeling that way -- society prizes women who only share their sexuality with one man.
You wouldn't feel awkward about having given 20 lap dances in a night vs 2, would you? No, because it doesn't reflect back on your personality or inner worth in any way (aside from having bomb hustle skillz). Sex partners are the same, logically.
wednesday86
05-13-2014, 08:26 AM
I'm 28 and have slept with 8. Including my husband 3 were long-term relationships. 2 were just hook ups/one night stands (and both sucked). The others were boyfriends but didn't last long..only a few weeks or a few months. The only people I judge are my partners. If my husband had slept with 10x more people than I had, that would have been to a turn off to me, honestly.
I would say the biggest downside to sleeping with randoms is that, in my experience, the sex isn't so good. It's been much better with guys I knew first and knew what I liked and didn't like. It only matters what you're comfortable with, and if you're being safe or not. If you think it's too many then slow down. Don't pretend to be okay with it if you're really not.
22lligm
05-13-2014, 11:58 PM
I'm 22 and I estimate my number is around 20 but it may be higher.. it's high compared to some people but I feel like my view on relationships and men is different because of it. Idk I don't regret anything, I've had fun and experienced things that I'm glad I experienced. Now I'm in a serious relationship I don't plan on having my number change. I just look at it as one of the many things that have made me who I am today and I don't regret any of it. :)
StripperSierra
05-14-2014, 05:02 AM
After reading all these posts I feel like I am the biggest slut of all on here LOL. I am almost 40 now and I honestly don't know how many guys I have been with in my personal life but probably well over 100. I have had some really wild experiences which make for good porn movie plots :). I've had partners who like watching me have sex with other men, a bisexual boyfriend who used to use me to lure straight guys into bed so he could try to get with them as well, a European boyfriend who was a porn distributor and would invite people from the industry over for group sex. If you add in my professional life working as an escort overseas I am easily in the 1000s. Looking back I do regret the numbers as it has complicated my life and relationships with men including my husband. He's asked me but I haven't told him the truth afraid of the stigma and repercussions. When I look back alot of what I did wasn't because I was a sex fiend with a out of control libido that couldn't be satisfied, it was more because I had low self esteem and self worth so I did it for attention, so i would be liked and for my fragile ego so I regret using sex as a means of gaining attention and feeling good about myself. Given the choice out of the 100 or so guys I have had sex I would take back most of them. So long story short if you are having sex for the physical enjoyment and for intimacy then numbers really shouldn't matter and 9 guys is really not that many.
Trixia
05-21-2014, 06:09 AM
Lost count a long time ago. Lol. Which is easy to do considering in one Vegas trip I slept with 2 girls and 5 guys lol. Or does it not count if his penis doesn't go inside you lol.
Yah I'm a slut. Don't care. Lol. I've had a lot of good sex and a lot of bad sex. Never been pregnant, and never had a STD. But I have seriously enjoyed life.
I don't see myself slowing down any time soon. I like getting fucked lol. Not to mention I love the fact that I've usually slept with more girls than most guys. Lol. Dunno why I like that fact.
Who cares about your sleep number. Eventually all girls ask each other. Find friends who don't judge or like having sex as much as you do. I love my girlfriends. We love each other and love the guys we consider lucky enough to come and join us.
If you haven't been fucked from behind while going down on your best friends, you're missing out lol!
kaninchen
05-21-2014, 12:24 PM
So long story short if you are having sex for the physical enjoyment and for intimacy then numbers really shouldn't matter and 9 guys is really not that many.
Perfectly put!
Elektra Luxx
05-22-2014, 11:09 AM
Yah I'm a slut. Don't care....Who cares about your sleep number. Eventually all girls ask each other. Find friends who don't judge or like having sex as much as you do. I love my girlfriends. We love each other...
No such thing as "how many men is too much". I agree with Trixia. By the way my number is about 25 not counting clients.
Jay12
05-28-2014, 09:15 PM
Not telling
AriesDanceFlame7
06-01-2014, 02:05 AM
@Tara As a soon to be Psychology major, that's not a healthy approach to sex. I enjoy it fucked up or sober but remember everything. You have to be able to recall details for your own health's sake babe. I understand past trauma because it's happened to me when I was little. You can overcome it though. Here's hoping for the both of us. Mwah!
But no, your number has nothing to do with your worth or you as a person. I fuck who is healthy and who I want. If I really like someone, male or female, I tend to remain monogamous just because. Your pussy is yours to please with whomever is so blessed to receive it.
Plutoniangirl
06-01-2014, 02:47 AM
You know what they say, for women, if the number is lower than 5 multiply it by 3 and for men if it's over 20 divide it by 3.
JK.. I'm at 15 at age 24. 2013 was a promiscuous year after I stopped dating my ex fiance
Naida
06-04-2014, 09:38 AM
I have two words for this thread- KNOWLEDGEABLE CONSENT!
Anything beyond that should mean fuck all to anyone that isn't you. If you're one of those girls who wants to wait till marriage, do that because it's your body to do what you want with. Same goes for if you want to be an escort/prostitute, or just bang any old Tom, Dick, and/or Harry that catches your fancy that night.
But, damn, most of you girls have me feeling like the Whore of Babyl in this bitch. I'm at 60 (male and female) and I don't just count- I keep a list of names. If anything ever does go wrong (pregnancy or STD wise) despite prevention methods, I am prepared to inform the relevant partners. Thankfully, that hasn't really been an issue for me yet: one accidental pregnancy (broken condom) ending in miscarriage with my very first partner, and zero positive out of ~20 STI/D screenings. I subscribe to the twice a year (unless I have a reason to test early) rule too, making exceptions for monogamous relationships lasting longer than six months and when I've been celibate.
Everyone has their own reasons for having, or not having, sex. As long as all parties are knowledgeably consenting, do what's fun for you.
audrey_k
06-04-2014, 11:38 PM
^If you look through the thread there's a wide variety of numbers! I think several people have posted higher or in your range. I've slept with one other person since I posted this... but haven't really thought that much about my number going up. It's nice to see that everyone's numbers are so over the place and that it really doesn't matter!
Luna66
06-05-2014, 08:28 PM
I agree that it doesn't matter, but thanks for reminding me to count before I forget them all! 10 at the moment. To be honest, I thought it was more like 15. Two of them have been relationships, 2 fuck buddies and the rest one night stands. I'm not ashamed at all at the number, the only thing I regret is not always using a condom (although I am, thankfully, clean and i'm much more sensible with protection now). I LOVE sex! I'm sleeping with the hottest guy at the moment who is some of the best sex i've ever had. Embrace it!
SexedUpCat
06-27-2014, 08:37 PM
I don't think it should matter at all. I'm 20 and lost count of how many guys I slept with (I can remember 17...but I know there's more thanks to college/alcohol). It's been a mixture of fwb, relationships, and one night stands. The only thing is, when a guy asks how many I've slept with, I lie and usually say 3 or 4 or so because the one time I was honest (with a prospective boyfriend), I never heard from him again. I hate the stigma! Maybe I should stop caring though so I can weed out the assholes?
I think the key thing is just using protection. There's been a couple times I didn't and should have, but I'm thankfully still clean!
MizzMonica
07-06-2014, 12:18 PM
There will always be people who judge you and think 1 # is worse than the rest. I've learned to ignore the haters. I've always been a sexual person. I lost my virginity at 13 years old and started escorting at 18.
I've been escorting now off and on for 14 years and still enjoy my social life. No point in posting what I'd estimate at but it's def a lot.
Slutdust
07-13-2014, 12:06 AM
Who cares about a number... U should start worrying when your pussy feels like a hot dog walking through a wide hall way. In other words if your pussy is loose, then you've got a problem & your only solution might be kegel exercises. Your number of partners is your business and noone else's, in my opinion.
What's really cool about the vagina is that it's a muscle-- the more you use it, the tighter it gets. :)
I also do not see a point in keeping track of the people I've slept with, but sometimes it is fun to think about-- In my 11 years of having sex, I'd estimate my personal number to be around 30. Adding in my professional life, that brings it to a little over 100.
Life is too short to worry about the number of people you've had sex with. I can only hope someday my number is 1000.
AmyLynne
07-15-2014, 11:38 AM
When you have to start indexing them by varying factors then it is too many!
JayATee
07-27-2014, 04:35 PM
I'd quite literally need to sit here and figure out my number because that's how much I just don't care.
audrey_k
07-27-2014, 06:04 PM
For you ladies that are escorts, would you count your clients?
I have to imagine I'm getting near three-digits now if I haven't already reached it, but I don't count them in my number.
Aurora_Sunset
07-27-2014, 06:19 PM
For you ladies that are escorts, would you count your clients?
I have to imagine I'm getting near three-digits now if I haven't already reached it, but I don't count them in my number.
In reality, with looking at myself and my experience/with a doctor/with someone I trust, who wants to know for a real, decent reason - of course escort clients count. Your body doesn't differentiate between how many people you've had sex with for money or personal pleasure - a partner is a partner.
But, in conversation, it depends on who's asking. I wouldn't share my real number, which includes escorting, with most people because they don't need to know. If they're asking to determine how "slutty" I am, my professional number has nothing to do with how "easy" it is to get me in the sack for free. If they're asking to determine how "disease-ridden" I might be, again, my professional number has nothing to do with that, because I could just as easily contract something from the people in my personal life as my escort clients, and am admittedly better about all sorts of protection with clients, so that number would be a shitty indicator of something like me being a "risky" partner. And if they'e just asking out of perverse curiosity, it's none of their business anyway.
That's why, whenever a friend asks what my number is, (and they know what I do), I always say, "My real number or my personal number?" With some of them, I know they're leaning toward a discussion of "standards" in personal-life sex, and other times I know they're curious what my real experience level is at. Escort clients count, but they don't always need to be a part of the discussion with anyone. Neither does your personal number, for that matter, if you don't feel like sharing it lol
MissJu
07-27-2014, 06:24 PM
Once we have been drinking with my friends and we also tried to count, me and other "slut" :D had 30 guys. I had that amount in 1-2 years very slutty:)) ha and she had in 5 years, but she lost her virginity in 13 y o and got that amount when she was 15 y o. But if to count with whom i cum, and whos dick was enough big so i can feel it i (couple of guys had only 2 inch dicks )...only 3 men worth after all:))))if i could turn time forward, i will reject all those 27 worthless pathetic little dickers:)))
summary 3:)
audrey_k
07-27-2014, 06:31 PM
In reality, with looking at myself and my experience/with a doctor/with someone I trust, who wants to know for a real, decent reason - of course escort clients count. Your body doesn't differentiate between how many people you've had sex with for money or personal pleasure - a partner is a partner.
But, in conversation, it depends on who's asking. I wouldn't share my real number, which includes escorting, with most people because they don't need to know. If they're asking to determine how "slutty" I am, my professional number has nothing to do with how "easy" it is to get me in the sack for free. If they're asking to determine how "disease-ridden" I might be, again, my professional number has nothing to do with that, because I could just as easily contract something from the people in my personal life as my escort clients, and am admittedly better about all sorts of protection with clients, so that number would be a shitty indicator of something like me being a "risky" partner. And if they'e just asking out of perverse curiosity, it's none of their business anyway.
That's why, whenever a friend asks what my number is, (and they know what I do), I always say, "My real number or my personal number?" With some of them, I know they're leaning toward a discussion of "standards" in personal-life sex, and other times I know they're curious what my real experience level is at. Escort clients count, but they don't always need to be a part of the discussion with anyone. Neither does your personal number, for that matter, if you don't feel like sharing it lol
Yes, that's what I meant, a personal number-- not something to give to a doctor. I guess I don't count them as a personal number because I feel like I've just slept with them physically, not emotionally.
And agree with what you've stated, I don't feel like it's an indicator of me being a 'risky' partner because I'm so much more paranoid about catching something from them because there isn't the level of emotional trust I've had with my exes (where if I was on BC I would've had unprotected sex with them on a regular basis) or that I'm easy to get in the sack, since the fact that I have sex so much I feel like makes me even harder to get in bed now!
Aurora_Sunset
07-27-2014, 06:36 PM
I guess I don't count them as a personal number because I feel like I've just slept with them physically, not emotionally.
or that I'm easy to get in the sack, since the fact that I have sex so much I feel like makes me even harder to get in bed now!
This exactly. I think when most people ask for your number, they're more asking what your level of "discrimination" is on a personal level. How "easy" are you - how quickly do you jump into bed, that sort of thing. Adding money to the mix, to me, puts those sort of decisions on a whole new level, and that's not actually what someone would want to know pertaining to whatever discussion they're trying to have. It's not that those clients don't "count," but they're irrelevant to what's actually being discussed with most people. Of course, some people would claim that being willing to skyrocket your number through exchanging sex for money, makes you less discriminate, or more "dirty" or whatever, but that's an entirely different fight over opinions and viewpoints on sex workers and their personalities and boundaries and whathaveyou. And, also usually not the point of discussion when most people casually get on the topic of "numbers."
However, if a good friend and I get into a "battle" over our numbers and I claim to have slept with more people and have more experience, and they say "Work doesn't count," I tend to retort with "My vagina and skill-set say differently!" All in good fun. I kinda like being able to switch my numbers around when it suits my argument lol :D
MizzMonica
07-30-2014, 01:29 PM
For you ladies that are escorts, would you count your clients?
I have to imagine I'm getting near three-digits now if I haven't already reached it, but I don't count them in my number.
I escort and yes I keep track but not for that purpose. I keep track because it's just like any other job that has cash transactions and such. I keep track of several things because I like to make sure I take care of custies that have taken care of me. I.e a loyal customer whose had a long history of business with me is going to supercede another newer client if there is a booking conflict.
audrey_k
07-30-2014, 03:53 PM
^I don't know I personally don't really want to know and I feel like it isn't important, I mean I keep track of how much I make every week and how many appointments so I guess if I really wanted to know I could go back, but I guess I just feel it doesn't matter.
NightGoddess
09-30-2014, 10:03 AM
I'm 21 and I stopped counting at 22 because I just stopped caring about my number! I just realized that it doesn't matter! I love sex and I'm always safe and responsible and what not.