View Full Version : Customers sucking breasts
she wolf
03-03-2014, 03:10 PM
Would you let a guy finger you ITC 'just b/c he is hot'? This is right up there w/ that both in terms of basic hygeine (where have the respective body parts been?!' & also being covered by prostitution bylaws.
a lot of girls do that for free or in the sc so I don't get your point. Me personally, I'd rather get kissed on my chest then fingered. To me if the guy is good looking it makes a difference. That's why I wanted to here from other girls...I mean from the responses you would think that all these girls are doing air dances
yoda57us
03-03-2014, 03:14 PM
a lot of girls do that for free or in the sc so I don't get your point. Me personally, I'd rather get kissed on my chest then fingered. To me if the guy is good looking it makes a difference. That's why I wanted to here from other girls...I mean from the responses you would think that all these girls are doing air dances
This is the customer convo section. If you want to survey other dancers about what they do with their customers please take it to one of the dancer sections. I've got enough problems here keeping the dancer/customer conversation civil. I don't need any dancer/dancer drama in this section...
Thank you
drake
03-03-2014, 06:27 PM
a lot of girls do that for free or in the sc so I don't get your point. Me personally, I'd rather get kissed on my chest then fingered. To me if the guy is good looking it makes a difference. That's why I wanted to here from other girls...I mean from the responses you would think that all these girls are doing air dances
Sometimes I dare to hope that my ATF lets me suck her breasts because she thinks I'm good-looking. Thanks for keeping that fantasy alive for me. I'm sure everyone else round here will say "Not a chance in hell".
Selina M
03-03-2014, 06:33 PM
Have you tried bitter apple, (from pet stores) the stuff to keep animals from gnawing?
Never in my life would I have thought that my job would require me to use something that keeps animals from gnawing, on my boobs.
Dear Lord.
musik22
03-03-2014, 07:28 PM
I think customers sucking breasts is pretty common. My position is if you put your tits in the customers face, you have to expect that most of the customers will try to suck it. I personally don't suck breasts because I don't know how many customers have put their mouth on them before me.
yoda57us
03-03-2014, 08:34 PM
My position is if you put your tits in the customers face, you have to expect that most of the customers will try to suck it.
Interesting. Why would a dancer expect that? If she bends over and shakes her ass should she expect a customer to stick his finger in it? If she gyrates her crotch in front of him what on earth should she expect then? Oh, I know, he's going to blow on her vagina because girls dig that right? These are not moves that were just invented in the last few years. Dancers have been doing them for a while. Hell, I was tipping dollar bills for this sort of stuff at the stage back in the 80's and paying by the song in CR's in the 90's. I must have missed the memo that went around at some point saying that dancers expect you to molest and violate them when they put their naked anatomy in front of you...
yoda57us
03-03-2014, 08:36 PM
Sometimes I dare to hope that my ATF lets me suck her breasts because she thinks I'm good-looking. Thanks for keeping that fantasy alive for me. I'm sure everyone else round here will say "Not a chance in hell".
Right, well, we all know (even the dancers know) that some girls do and some girls don't. The percentages don't really matter as much as the assumption from so many guys that it's somehow a given now.
charlotte.
03-03-2014, 08:52 PM
I think customers sucking breasts is pretty common. My position is if you put your tits in the customers face, you have to expect that most of the customers will try to suck it. I personally don't suck breasts because I don't know how many customers have put their mouth on them before me.
this is right up there with saying that girls who wear short skirts at night deserve to be raped. anything to place the blame on the woman instead of on the man who did the crime. disgusting.
lap dances are done by dancers. there is nothing, NOTHING that we can do to expect the receiving party to do a VOLUNTARY action. theres nothing I can do to expect a guy to give me a tip. likewise, there is nothing I can do to expect a guy to sexually assault me. if you want to tip me that is up to you, and you are the generous one. not me and my magical hustle skills. and if you sexually assault me, then you are the rapist. I am not at fault.
involuntary reactions are different (if I was jerking you off I should expect you to jazz). theres nothing involuntary about opening your mouth like a dog to lick after seeing some boobs up close. if you honestly can't control those types of actions then you belong in a hospital where a nurse can take care of you. although I guess you would probably rape her too.
MarvelGirl
03-03-2014, 09:53 PM
I think customers sucking breasts is pretty common. My position is if you put your tits in the customers face, you have to expect that most of the customers will try to suck it. I personally don't suck breasts because I don't know how many customers have put their mouth on them before me.
This is a perfect example of what people are talking about when they reference rape culture. You don't get to suck on a stranger or stick fingers in her because she sold you a lap dance. We are human beings. We should be able to do our job without you acting like a rapist and sexually assaulting us. Most men are perfectly capable of controlling themselves. If you aren't, you need to be locked up somewhere to protect the public.
musik22
03-03-2014, 09:55 PM
Ok....... The point I was trying to make is that's just what most customers in strip clubs will try to do. In a lap dance most customers will try to grab ass and tits, they will try to suck tits if tits are put in their face. Experienced strippers know that if they don't want their tits sucked, they won't put their tits in the customers face. I'm not following how you can try to make a connection with rape from what I said. (BTW when I say tits in the face, I don't mean close to the face, I mean physically in or on the face)
charlotte.
03-03-2014, 10:10 PM
Ok....... The point I was trying to make is that's just what most customers in strip clubs will try to do. In a lap dance most customers will try to grab ass and tits, they will try to suck tits if tits are put in their face. Experienced strippers know that if they don't want their tits sucked, they won't put their tits in the customers face. I'm not following how you can try to make a connection with rape from what I said. (BTW when I say tits in the face, I don't mean close to the face, I mean physically in or on the face)
no. you are a small minority. stop trying to justify your crime. you are wrong about everything.
Kellydancer
03-03-2014, 10:10 PM
This thread is just sick. Sure there are some dancers that either like this or have no problem with this but most think it's disgusting. I would never want a strange man to suck my tits, or anything else like kiss me. Why men do this is something I'll never get.
MarvelGirl
03-03-2014, 10:17 PM
no. you are a small minority. stop trying to justify your crime. you are wrong about everything.
Yeah, seriously. It's so pathetic.
"Uhh, duuuhhhh, how is sucking a woman's tits when she doesn't want me to anything like rape? Uhh, duuuuhhhhh."
yoda57us
03-03-2014, 10:25 PM
OK folks we are expressing opinions here on the topic at hand. Please feel free to agree or disagree as you see fit but do it without personal attacks.
Kellydancer
03-03-2014, 10:42 PM
Ok....... The point I was trying to make is that's just what most customers in strip clubs will try to do. In a lap dance most customers will try to grab ass and tits, they will try to suck tits if tits are put in their face. Experienced strippers know that if they don't want their tits sucked, they won't put their tits in the customers face. I'm not following how you can try to make a connection with rape from what I said. (BTW when I say tits in the face, I don't mean close to the face, I mean physically in or on the face)
Nope, most customers I had never tried things like these without being told. I had many great customers who never touched me at all.
drake
03-03-2014, 11:23 PM
Right, well, we all know (even the dancers know) that some girls do and some girls don't. The percentages don't really matter as much as the assumption from so many guys that it's somehow a given now.
Yes indeed. That assumption should not be made, and I would not make it if I were to move to a new girl.
MarvelGirl
03-03-2014, 11:52 PM
Yes indeed. That assumption should not be made, and I would not make it if I were to move to a new girl.
THANK YOU! This is it exactly. Different girls have different boundaries. How hard is it to just ask and find a dancer whose boundaries line up with your wants rather than trying to force every girl in the club to take it?
I'm actually probably one of the most laid back girls on here when it comes to extras in the club. I truly don't care what other girls are doing as long as it's consensual for both parties, but I'm not down with rape or sexual assault. There are plenty of girls who will do whatever a guy wants. There's no reason to ever violate any stripper.
drake
03-04-2014, 12:03 AM
THANK YOU! This is it exactly. Different girls have different boundaries. How hard is it to just ask and find a dancer whose boundaries line up with your wants rather than trying to force every girl in the club to take it?
I'm actually probably one of the most laid back girls on here when it comes to extras in the club. I truly don't care what other girls are doing as long as it's consensual for both parties, but I'm not down with rape or sexual assault. There are plenty of girls who will do whatever a guy wants. There's no reason to ever violate any stripper.
I find it interesting that you call it an extra. I would always have said that I don't pay for extras because I had a different concept of what extras mean. But I guess I don't really know the definition of the word.
My ATF tells me that the rules of the club are that I'm not allowed to take my underpants off and I'm not allowed to touch her down there. (This is in Germany, where there are also legal brothels.) I believe her that those are the rules because they strike me as pretty liberal rules. But I know that she will sometimes tell other guys a different story. Like there were the guys who wanted to buy a private dance for the two of them and she said that's 80 euros, and they beat the price down to 75 euros and forced her to contribute 5 euros of her "funny money" which she had collected in tips. So because they did that she told them the rules were only looking, no touching. So I guess what the rules are depends on which girl and which customer. As you say, it's all about consent and respecting the woman's boundaries, just as you would with any other woman.
MarvelGirl
03-04-2014, 12:20 AM
I find it interesting that you call it an extra.
Well, where I work I could be fired and/or charged with prostitution for letting a guy suck on my boobs. So I definitely consider it an extra with that kind of risk involved. I know the laws vary widely from one place to another though.
But I'm 100% down with every girl making her own rules as to what she is and isn't comfortable with. Plus I've worked in the Nevada brothels and been an escort so I don't look down on extras girls or anything like that. I just have a problem with girls being forced into doing things they don't want to do and men who feel like they're entitled to take what isn't offered.
You sound like a respectful customer and I thank you for it.
yoda57us
03-04-2014, 03:54 AM
This is a discussion board. That's what we do here. As members you are all welcome to participate but you are also most certainly welcome not to. If the topic is no longer interesting to you feel free to exercise your right to move on.
Djoser
03-04-2014, 04:07 AM
Ha I have known more than one dancer who had her guy come on her tits before work, in clubs where guys were always suddenly trying to return to mommy's teat. The odds of it happening are very low, but you never know. Just the idea alone of licking it up right after 8-10 guys is not at all exciting.
gocanucks
03-04-2014, 11:52 AM
Well, where I work I could be fired and/or charged with prostitution for letting a guy suck on my boobs. So I definitely consider it an extra with that kind of risk involved. I know the laws vary widely from one place to another though.
But I'm 100% down with every girl making her own rules as to what she is and isn't comfortable with. Plus I've worked in the Nevada brothels and been an escort so I don't look down on extras girls or anything like that. I just have a problem with girls being forced into doing things they don't want to do and men who feel like they're entitled to take what isn't offered.
You sound like a respectful customer and I thank you for it.
I think the responses reflect that there is a lot of variation in what clubs and/or dancers allow. In high-contact, high-mileage clubs, the practice seems pretty common - but not universal. In other clubs, that behaviour would get a custie kicked out 100 percent of the time. I agree it's not something I'd do with most dancers - but I can't say I've never done it either (when I'm really turned on, and it's been offered/OK'd - I can attest to what the other custies have said about it being offered). I always ask on what's OK (or if I have something in mind LOL) - never had a dancer who was offended that I asked, and a few who clearly appreciated me asking - 1-2 even said "I usually say no, but you've asked, which no one does around here, so it's OK". And if they say no - end of story. Showing people a little respect never hurts - they can say yes/no to whatever they want. I've certainly seen what happens when someone doesn't ask and it's out-of-bounds - always best to avoid in ALL circumstances (more on that in a sec).
I must say the best 3-4 LD's I ever had were when the dancer(s) asked me if I'm new to the club, and then told me what was OK, and what wasn't - once they knew I wasn't going to cross their lines, it seemed to me that they were more relaxed than if they had to watch out for unwanted behaviour. Only 1x did it involve sucking breasts, but the point was that if it's in-bounds for the dancer, go for it - but realize it's not a given, and you definitely don't want to find out AFTER the fact it wasn't welcome. That happened to 1 guy on our annual guys trip at a very high-end but low-contact SC - we almost all got kicked out - and we banned that guy from future trips, as he was a jerk in general, that just sealed the deal. Imagine 2 bouncers and 4 angry dancers (the dancer in question, and 3 others coming to her aid) all ready to kill 1 guy, and 8-9 of us trying to not to admit that he's with us, LOL.
Really, in the end, it never hurts to ask what's OK, especially if you're new (I travel, so I'm always new LOL). I've found it's also more likely to get a much better experience for the custie, as generating a little trust works wonders in getting great dances - a dancer who feels safe is also way more likely to go all-out to give a great experience (within their limits), than one who has to look out and protect herself from unwanted hands/mouth in wrong places, not to mention how pissed off they would be.
EDIT: For the record, sucking breasts isn't a common event for me (but I have done it), more the principle of asking in general what's OK to go where (hands, mouth, etc.) ahead of time - was more what I was getting at.
moosehead
03-07-2014, 05:38 PM
I can understand the responses here, but I have to say that about half of the girls that I've done LDs with in the last few years have actually rubbed or pushed their nipples against my lips, no doubt expecting that I would suck them. I didn't, but I'm sure that plenty do. Now I don't get LDs nearly as much as some guys do, so my sample population might be skewed, but this behavior by some of the girls cannot be helping matters.
Are you sure it's your sample population that's skewed or what's posted on this board? Because I know the stuff I read here is not what I experience at the clubs. I'll confirm that those titties that were pressed against your face is not an unusual occurance.
yoda57us
03-07-2014, 05:47 PM
Are you sure it's your sample population that's skewed or what's posted on this board? Because I know the stuff I read here is not what I experience at the clubs. I'll confirm that those titties that were pressed against your face is not an unusual occurance.
Let's be clear about something moosehead. Your experiences, as they relate to this thread, are irrelevant. You came to the Customer Conversation section of Stripper web and asked the ladies a question. I let the question stay up because of the way you phrased it. Let me refresh your memory...
How do you feel about customers doing this? Do you care when this happens? Not care?
You asked and the ladies answered. You didn't ask if it happens or even how often it happens. You asked them what they thought about it. Don't even think about coming back here now and calling anyone, dancer or customer, a liar.
moosehead
03-07-2014, 05:53 PM
Since when did I call anyone a liar?
FasaCorp
03-07-2014, 06:07 PM
Since when did I call anyone a liar?
Perhaps not directly, but you are steering the discussion away from the original questions. This thread is not about your specific experiences, it's about what the dancers think about customers sucking/licking/(Insert mouth action here) their breasts.
yoda57us
03-07-2014, 07:56 PM
Since when did I call anyone a liar?
Fair enough moosehead. But be for warned, I spent a lot of time and effort keeping this thread relevant and on track because I thought you asked a fair question. That being said, I'm not about to let you turn this into en extension of your "why do girls want to dance for me for free" thread. Not gonna happen.
Starling
03-07-2014, 08:42 PM
I can understand the responses here, but I have to say that about half of the girls that I've done LDs with in the last few years have actually rubbed or pushed their nipples against my lips, no doubt expecting that I would suck them. I didn't, but I'm sure that plenty do.
Uh. So I got here pretty late. I noticed this too, there are definitely dancers who enable this type of stuff and a lot of them I'm sure. I can speak from a customer's perspective this time, I actually got the reverse. I remember I went to Rick's Cabaret in NYC with a friend one night to check it out. I was out on the main floor sitting in my chair and I was approached by a dancer. Right upon introduction she kind of rubbed herself against me and went down and bit my nipple through my clothes. I didn't even buy a dance yet and I was not expecting that at all.
I think a lot of these girls believe that they have to do it. They probably felt pressured by asshole customers in the past. I made a dancer friend once who told me that when she was younger she was more "accommodating". When I asked her what she meant, she said she would let random guys suck her nipples, but she decided to stop after a while. When I asked WHY she would do that, she said she didn't know any better.
starlily
03-08-2014, 05:00 AM
I think a lot of these girls believe that they have to do it. They probably felt pressured by asshole customers in the past . . . When I asked WHY she would do that, she said she didn't know any better.
This is so sad but true. In a situation where one person is perfectly nice but unsure of herself, and the other person is an overconfident entitled asshole, who do you think is going to get their way?
I try to be compassionate and empathetic, but I also try to tell people off when they deserve it. It's difficult to walk that line. It rattles me to be too much of a bitch, but inevitably some customer is going to want to do something out of bounds and he isn't going to be the one with emotional scarring if he doesn't get his way, so yeah. I've slammed some customers' heads into the wall. It's making me angry just to think about.
Don't fucking suck her nipples unless you're invited. No, you're not invited just because they're in front of you.
MarvelGirl
03-08-2014, 12:08 PM
I think a lot of these girls believe that they have to do it. They probably felt pressured by asshole customers in the past. I made a dancer friend once who told me that when she was younger she was more "accommodating". When I asked her what she meant, she said she would let random guys suck her nipples, but she decided to stop after a while. When I asked WHY she would do that, she said she didn't know any better.
Yep, that's very true. Just recently there was a girl on here who said she had to do it because she worked in a high mileage club so she had no choice. It makes me so sad and sick to my stomach. Those are the girls who end up destroying themselves because they have to get all screwed up on drugs and/or alcohol to work.
The sad thing is there's really no way for a customer to know if a girl is actually fine with that level of contact or just doing what she thinks she has to and hates herself for it. That's why I think the least they can do is accept and respect the boundaries the dancer has set.
ytqclys
03-08-2014, 12:34 PM
Lap dancing is an extremely personal service. It is not practical to have some fixed list of what it is and isn't included. It's going to be very different with each dancer.
Maybe it's a thing of the past now, but when I was young we had this concept called "making out". Girls expected guys to want/try for just about anything. But girls expected a "slow hand", that if the guy was about to cross a line she didn't want to cross, she'd be able to push his hand/mouth away before it got crossed. If a guy didn't live up to this expectation, word got around about him.
So why can't we use this system for lap dancing? Dancers, that means you should not consider a custy to be the spawn of Satan because we wants to put his mouth on your nipples. Keep them away from his mouth if you're not down with it. If you want to give him a close-up look at your boob, put your hand against his throat, to make it clear that's all he's getting.
Fellow custies, remember that, since you are over 6 months old, your suction power is outside the design tolerance of her tits. Sucking is like spanking, only the minority of dancers who tolerate mild pain will consider accepting it.
I had a fav who found it very uncomfortable (ticklish) to be caressed. I had to be careful to "tissue massage", but never slide my fingers across her skin. But, bizarrely enough, it didn't bother her to be kissed (even tongue-kissed) on the nipples.
Vackra
03-08-2014, 04:21 PM
Thank you, customers, for actually RUINING ALL POSSIBLE PLEASURE I could get from this in my personal life. My nipples are under such constant attack that I have created a mental block, it seems. The association with disgusting stranger has become so strong, even in my personal life with a man I like, when he touches them, I feel nothing.
ytqclys
03-08-2014, 04:41 PM
Thank you, customers, for actually RUINING ALL POSSIBLE PLEASURE I could get from this in my personal life. My nipples are under such constant attack that I have created a mental block, it seems. The association with disgusting stranger has become so strong, even in my personal life with a man I like, when he touches them, I feel nothing.
I'm sorry about that. But suppose you worked in a nursing home, and you were totally disgusted with emptying bed pans, what could really be done about it?
Vackra
03-08-2014, 05:37 PM
I'm sorry about that. But suppose you worked in a nursing home, and you were totally disgusted with emptying bed pans, what could really be done about it?
Are you saying that, working in a strip club, we should expect sexual assault? I'm completely baffled you would make this comparison.
ytqclys
03-08-2014, 06:28 PM
Are you saying that, working in a strip club, we should expect sexual assault? I'm completely baffled you would make this comparison.
It's not clear what you mean by attack.
From me personally, a dancer can expect I would never do anything I thought she didn't want me to do. If I thought wrong, and she told me to stop doing something, I would never do it again with her. But if another dancer is OK with kissing on the breasts, then I would be more likely to want dances from her.
I hope you get some opportunities for better working situations very soon.
FasaCorp
03-08-2014, 09:44 PM
It's not clear what you mean by attack.
From me personally, a dancer can expect I would never do anything I thought she didn't want me to do. If I thought wrong, and she told me to stop doing something, I would never do it again with her. But if another dancer is OK with kissing on the breasts, then I would be more likely to want dances from her.
They are called "dancers". Not "escorts", "prostitutes", or anything of that sort. Where in their job description does it say they have to endure customers mouths/tongues/hands/other parts all over them? Ask first before touching, not the other way around. They shouldn't have to stop telling you to do something in the first place.
Kaylak
03-08-2014, 11:38 PM
No, mouth, saliva or other bodily fluids on my skin. :yuck:
I find setting boundaries <early> works - usually.
Sexual Fantasy !DOES = NOT! Sexual Act.
Gentleman's/Strip Club !DOES=NOT! Brothel.
Aniela
03-09-2014, 12:41 AM
It's not clear what you mean by attack.
From me personally, a dancer can expect I would never do anything I thought she didn't want me to do. If I thought wrong, and she told me to stop doing something, I would never do it again with her. But if another dancer is OK with kissing on the breasts, then I would be more likely to want dances from her.
I hope you get some opportunities for better working situations very soon.
Other than maybe all the dirty old men we encounter in strip clubs, it's really not clear where you get the comparison to nursing homes.
Do all dancers an extra-special favour: unless you know from previous experience w/ a particular dancer what she will or will not tolerate, just FORGET whatever it is you THINK she does or does not want you to do. Keep your mouth & your junk to yourself & hands in PG places if hands are allowed at all at whatever club you are frequenting. Taking uninvited liberties w/ me, just b/c 'Dancers X Y & Z always let me do that!' is guaranteed to ruin my experience dancing w/ you, & just going off the responses in this thread I am not the only one who feels this way. More customers doing this instead of simply assuming every dancer will be ok w/ their advances would probably go a good way towards creating better working situations.
starlily
03-09-2014, 02:24 AM
I'm sorry about that. But suppose you worked in a nursing home, and you were totally disgusted with emptying bed pans, what could really be done about it?
I actually have worked in nursing homes and emptied bed pans. I don't see the connection between that and the fact that now, every time my bf sucks my nipples, I have to push away thoughts of all the times customers have tried to assault me.
charlotte.
03-09-2014, 04:02 AM
It's not clear what you mean by attack.From me personally, a dancer can expect I would never do anything I thought she didn't want me to do. If I thought wrong, and she told me to stop doing something, I would never do it again with her. But if another dancer is OK with kissing on the breasts, then I would be more likely to want dances from her.I hope you get some opportunities for better working situations very soon.its not about you personally. stop thinking like that. we don't care what you think is expected or what you think are signs giving you the ok to assault. the bottom line is this is ASSAULT and if you do this you should feel really fucking ashamed of yourself and understand that you have just committed a serious crime which has major psychological repercussions to the dancer you have assaulted.even if we keep a happy face and gently remind you to keep your nasty mouth shut do not think we are just annoyed by you. I have witnessed many girls (and been one myself) who has broken down in tears or left work early because we just couldn't handle finishing the shift. some or us will not be able to keep ourselves so collected and will react just as you would accept one would after being raped. we may scream and cry, attack you or call for a bouncer to attack you. yes, I have also done all of the above, as well as stolen wallets/stolen contents of wallets or forced the guy to pull out additional cash for me. yes, I have watch bouncers cause blood to be shed.
gocanucks
03-09-2014, 05:24 AM
If you are all saying that this is one of several acts where you ask before you try, totally understand & as I said before, totally agree this is way it should go down. Most decent custies do that - but yes, there are a LOT of indecent custies out there, and there are a lot of custie newbies who have porn-industry fed expectations before they go in - only to find out it's not what every woman wants, especially P4P dancers. I don't think the majority of custies who bother to post here fall in category B/C (yes, there are still some, I'd concede that) - I think you're just seeing some puzzlement because we have met dancers who were quite willing and forward about this being OK. That being said, it's NOT ok to assume every dancer allows this - again, as so many have said, you ask first, and assume nothing.
What I think ytqclys is referrring to is that we see it being offered enough, that it doesn't seem surprising to him that this is happening, even though asking should be the expectation. I also get that it's probably INCREDIBLY frustrating for dancers to now see this as a more common event, to the point where dancers who have a no-fly zone have to defend themselves from unwanted contact there. I get that too.
I've certainly been at no-touch clubs, and then heavy 2-way contact clubs, to see why a lot of dancers here are so vocal about the no-go practice - it's just that there is clearly another group of dancers that do allow it. I suspect they may be more of the less-committed, fly-by-night, need-to-turn-a-buck-anyway-I-can variety, and the same mentality that gives into extras - which let's face it, this population of posters does not represent. And believe me, I'm not saying it's the way it should be - no dancer should do whatever is outside their comfort zone. I'm OK with that - whatever I want, I ask for ahead of time - and if the answer's no, then that's fine. I also get that's not the mentality with a lot of guys, especially once there's alcohol added to the mix - "going for it" seems like the unfortunate story of many custies, which usually ends horribly for all concerned.
Custies who post here (well I think at least 80-90 percent of them) understand you ask first, and respect the limits. And yeah, a lot of custies overall don't ask before acting - and that's the part dancers are rightfully pissed about. I think the flip side is that setting limits ahead of the dance when you get into VIP is the only way to protect dancers - it's not guaranteed to work with everyone. It's not placing blame on anyone, but it's the only way to set clear limits everyone understands - and thus the only way dancers can protect themselves. I think it's often indirectly done because of the conflict dancers face in wanting to maximize the $ and not scare off potential revenue - but most custies who want to take you to VIP, they're hooked enough the clarity helps, but can still be a great time (unless there was a lot of false advertising in the presell - "baby, we can do anything you want in VIP" - and then in VIP - "here's what you can't do" - that wouldn't go well).
As a travelling custie, I actually appreciate the times dancers have set the rules ahead of time ("you're new at the club here, so here are the ground rules - touching anywhere but <> is OK, no sucking, no saliva ANYWHERE"). I would also say these dancers not said one thing on the floor and then another in VIP, so I've gone in with my eyes open. I've even started saying ("Since I'm new, what's OK & what's off-limits?") - I've found it's way better for all concerned. Now, if this is happening on the floor, can't really help there, I'd hope it's not that common.
Again, I say the above not having done this specifically with many dancers, and only having asked before, but I think it's happening enough in semi-private/private VIP that you're seeing differences in custies' & dancers' responses here. Hoping you don't all shoot the messenger, as I think decent custies (I'd hope myself included) agree it's not OK if it's not on the menu, and asking first is the way to go. But since there are no guarantee all custies will do this (either out of total ignorance, or worse, the mentality it's OK to do anything since you're paying), setting the limits pre-dance seems like an extra step that's worth doing to protect yourself, since there sadly aren't guarantees everyone follows this general common-sense principle (if it was common sense, you wouldn't have to say it all the time).
whirlerz
03-09-2014, 05:28 AM
Lordy, can we pweez close this ?:)
drake
03-09-2014, 08:43 AM
Just an aside, I typed "sucking a stripper's breasts" into Google and all the first-page hits were about Justin Bieber.
gocanucks
03-09-2014, 08:45 AM
Just an aside, I typed "sucking a stripper's breasts" into Google and all the first-page hits were about Justin Bieber.
On behalf of all Canadians...all I can say to the world is we're sorry.
ytqclys
03-09-2014, 09:27 AM
I don't think it's going to be good for the lap dance industry if there has to be two lawyers on the couch too, representing each side. If a dancer positions herself so her nipple is a 2 - 3 inches from the custy's mouth, I don't think she should be surprised the custy sees that as an invitation. Even without any formal verbal contract.
drake
03-09-2014, 09:33 AM
I think it could be understandable if some customers make that mistake, but I also think that you should get the clear message from pretty much all the girls who have contributed to this thread that doing it without asking is simply not okay. They're pretty much unanimous on that point.
ytqclys
03-09-2014, 09:58 AM
I think it could be understandable if some customers make that mistake, but I also think that you should get the clear message from pretty much all the girls who have contributed to this thread that doing it without asking is simply not okay. They're pretty much unanimous on that point.
Well unfortunately, irl, it's hard to have just normal friendly interaction between a custy and a dancer. To give a typical example, I once offered to loan money to a dancer who needed to pay a big bill to get her car back from the repair shop. Instead of seeing it as a courtesy, she was annoyed that I wouldn't just give her the money as a gift.
Most dancers keep their nipples away from my mouth. It's only happened a few times that I've misread the dancer's intentions. But in all but two cases that I can remember, that lead to an offer to upsell breast kissing.
sierra.
03-09-2014, 10:26 AM
I don't think it's going to be good for the lap dance industry if there has to be two lawyers on the couch too, representing each side. If a dancer positions herself so her nipple is a 2 - 3 inches from the custy's mouth, I don't think she should be surprised the custy sees that as an invitation. Even without any formal verbal contract.
Wtf is wrong with you? If I bend over, should I not be surprised if a customer sees that as an invitation to shove his fingers inside of me? If a guy takes me to a VIP room, should I not be surprised if a he sees that as an invitation to rape me?
Congratulations for having the logic of a rapist. You may think to yourself "oh, I would never go THAT far" but it is that kind of reasoning that not only leads to us being assaulted, but also prevents us from getting the support we need after the fact to deal with the trauma. So yeah. Great work.
sierra.
03-09-2014, 10:34 AM
Also, what is with this obsession customers have with sucking breasts in the first place? Another sad customer attempt to convince themselves they can give us pleasure? News flash: it doesn't. Even if a girl allows it, 9.9 times out of 10 she is only tolerating it (either because she feels she has to or because she's indifferent and allowing it just seems easier). You are more likely to ruin her ability to find the act pleasurable in her personal life than to actually give her any pleasure yourself.
MarvelGirl
03-09-2014, 10:43 AM
Also, what is with this obsession customers have with sucking breasts in the first place? Another sad customer attempt to convince themselves they can give us pleasure? News flash: it doesn't. Even if a girl allows it, 9.9 times out of 10 she is only tolerating it (either because she feels she has to or because she's indifferent and allowing it just seems easier). You are more likely to ruin her ability to find the act pleasurable in her personal life than to actually give her any pleasure yourself.
But it's ok because we aren't actually people. That's how they justify it.