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View Full Version : Holding the garter open when asking for a tip at a table or couch



Djoser
03-14-2014, 12:55 AM
Sort of an offshoot of the dancer demanding a drink thread, but I wanted to get away from the complications of that one.

Many, many times I have had this happen. I get a VIP couch or am sitting at a table, in a club where I am well known. The girls who are there only to hustle don't waste either of our time. The girls I have worked with elsewhere before, or already know from the club hang out & get drunk on my drinks, & get tipped lavishly onstage.

Brand new girl comes up & asks to sit down, I say sure. Waitress runs over knowing I will buy anyone at my couch a drink, & I do it. Girl then proceeds to hustle the dance & I explain I am in the industry so don't do dances, but absolutely do buy drinks & tip. Girl immediately holds open garter & says 'Well you can tip me now.'

I say 'I will tip you when you are onstage.' Nine times out of ten, the girl will immediately get up & take her drink with her, often without saying another word. Whereupon I won't bother tipping her onstage.

Was kind of surprised when a girl did a variant of this ploy tonight--this one I have had at my couch a couple times & bought many drinks for & tipped onstage. Apparently she was in High Hustle mode tonight, as when I offered her a drink she held open the garter & said 'I'm not drinking but you can give me the money instead.' I told her I would tip her onstage, whereupon she got slightly annoyed but hid it well, then left immediately--I knew though.

I don't give a fuck. The body language---holding open the garter--is just another way of demanding the money, as though I already owe her for some reason. At the tiprail I totally get it. Out in the club, it's a total mood killer.

I've had good friends tell me straight up 'Look I am not drinking tonight but I could really use the money instead of the drink, I have a car payment due/didn't make anything tonight/owe rent/whatever', in which case I give them the money. But holding the garter open will never work on me.

simone87
03-14-2014, 01:05 AM
i would love to just ask the guy for the money instead of the drink ( even if its only ten bucks), but i feel that's really rude unless you know the guy well..and would probably kill any chances of dances or tips after that. i mean i get where she's coming from, as a lot of guys who say they will tip actually don't, even after you've spend some time talking and whatnot, but she could have done it in a much more graceful and tactful way. she might have thought she was in high hustle mode that night, but she doesn't sound like she's very good at it.

Djoser
03-14-2014, 01:09 AM
Yeah I was really kind of surprised, I thought she knew what I was all about as we had talked at length before & she knew I was a DJ not some idiot tourist lol. But it has been a few months since I hung out regularly in that club.

Also, in her defense--maybe she really needed the money and just wasn't thinking about her approach. It's pretty seldom people always act with perfect grace and decorum in a stripclub, customers and dancers alike.

audrey_k
03-14-2014, 12:45 PM
I would never do that with a customer I didn't know-- honestly I wouldn't even hold my garter out onstage, it's just kind of presumptuous and takes the magic out of the situation.

That said though, I have had relationships with customers where I might jokingly do something that that, but it doesn't sound like that was the case here. For example I've had a lot of customers who when paying with a card I will say "how about x?" and sort of smile and giggle, but I would ONLY do that with certain customers, I have many customers who I would never say anything like that with because I know it would offend them.

gocanucks
03-14-2014, 12:48 PM
I can sympathize with dancers getting stiffed by guys who say they will too then don't - but sticking the garter open isn't that much better than the dancer demanding a drink.

One piece of advice from the custie side - most of us don't mind honesty about needing the $ but I'd avoid getting into details. We are buying into a fantasy and are there for a good time - going into RL problems is more likely to bring a guy down or worse, make them feel like they are being hustle (which is true to some extent, but it's the illusion we like to hold on to LOL).

Saying "I'm not drinking but prefer the cash if that's ok" wouldn't offend me. I might even say "well the cash is coming later, just getting warmed up and I don't want you thirsty for later". Hearing about rent, car, etc. - not necessary most times. Of course once in a while it squeezes pity money - but if it's done regularly, that only goes so far. Plus when we are in a vacation group, word passes quickly to avoid these dancers, given the concern about being sob-storied, and the good-vibe feeling guys are looking for.

Now if I knew the dancer, there is more latitude - so for someone you know, it's not nearly as clear. It just amazes me the stories told to complete strangers (and why we generally understand a lot of personal stiff isn't often real - but that also works when it comes to reasons asking for money).

Having said that, I have zero problem if a dancer leaves. It's a job for them and if there is no $ I get they need to move on. Hopefully they can leave gracefully with "well I'll take you up on your promise to top next time I'm on stage" with a wink. Of course if 90 percent of the time they get stiffed later on I can see why they wouldn't bother. It just seems to make sense not to burn bridges - I think & often hear that dancers would rather have a guy be upfront right away so as to not waste their time. But, especially if the guy just got there, giving them time to get warmed up and leaving the door open seems like a good idea (you don't have to stay but leaving the door open by not leaving abruptly and giving a pissed off vibe seems simple enough to do and good business sense, if the guy didn't lead her along and waste a bunch of time).

Just my 2 cents.

yoda57us
03-14-2014, 03:32 PM
I don't do anything in a strip club under duress. That includes tipping or buying a girl a drink. If a dancer plops her ass in my seat and I'm not interested in chatting or dancing she's no getting a drink or a tip. If I find her interesting and a waitress comes by I will buy her a drink but I'm not tipping her until she's on stage. One club I used to visit on occasion (now closed down) had a small gaggle of lazy so-and-so who decided that any seat in the club,including the bar from which you could barely even see the stage, was a designated tipping area. They would walk over, pull out their garter or thing and demand a tip. I always refused explaining that the tip rail was the front of the stage as far as management was concerned and that was good enough for me. One night a dancer who was (a) homely and (b) smelled like semen yelled at me when I refused to tip and called me an asshole. Of course, three weeks later she tried to sweet talk me into a dance only to get pissed again when I reminded her that she had called ma an asshole earlier that month...

I don't get the approach at all. Desperation and bad behavior get no where with me.

knightwish
03-14-2014, 06:03 PM
I like to take the pressure off the dancer by tipping almost immediately for time. Put me down for being fine with any variant of "money first". And if she's doing the garter thing then dollars in everywhere they can go in her clothing clothing is a good way to get a sort of table lap dance / feel her up as a good way to start the evening.

rickdugan
03-14-2014, 07:19 PM
Over the years, I've had countless girls solicit concession tips after I refused dances. I can only recall a couple who were brazen enough to ask for money in lieu of a refused drink, but it is really just another twist to the same game. IME, when a dancer does these things, it is after the customer has already refused dances and therefore has been mentally categorized by her as a non-spender/time waster. This is just her last ditch effort to shake a few bucks out of the guy before she moves on to (hopefully) better prospects.

I also pay girls in ways other than by buying LDs. In strip clubs, dancers can, of course, earn in several ways and selling LDs is just one of them. Some girls get it and others don't. Sometimes it is tough for them to spot alternative opportunities to earn because so many guys who want to buy drinks, but refuse dances, are really just looking for cheap company.

I have been the saving grace for a number of girls over the years who were otherwise facing very bad nights in dead clubs, but I also cannot blame the ones who make the wrong assumptions and act accordingly. I try to target the clubs where my gig has a greater chance of being welcomed by some of the dancers, but even in those clubs I'll run into some girls who either do not recognize the fact that there is earning potential in entertaining me or who just don't have an interest in earning in that way. It is what it is I suppose. :shrug:

starlily
03-14-2014, 08:00 PM
I would never do that with a customer I didn't know-- honestly I wouldn't even hold my garter out onstage, it's just kind of presumptuous and takes the magic out of the situation.

When I'm on stage and see a grabby customer waving money at me, I hold out my garter. If you're a grabby gropey asswipe then you lose money-in-thong and money-in-cleavage privileges. Some of them put the money in my garter and then try to feel me up anyway. They try it really quick like they're being super stealthy and they think I'm not going to notice.

Also if I don't like you and you're being cheap, I will hold out my garter and stare at you and not care if you find it offensive that I'm blatantly asking for money, because you're not going to give me enough money to make hanging out with you worth it anyway.

oldster
03-15-2014, 10:02 AM
Funny, had a relevant experience my last visit. Dancer who I know and am friendly with, but I have no interest in getting dances with, but as with all the dancers I will usually tip when she is on stage. I rarely sit at the stage, but will bring a tip up or have the dancer I am sitting with do it. So this particular visit I had not gotten the chance, deep conversation about trivial things or something. So She walks up and talks briefly to a dancer near me, and I am in the process of pulling money out of my pocket to hand her, when she looks at me and sneers 'thanks for coming up to the stage for me'

Wow

I hand her 5 bucks and drink my drink.

I don't pretend to be a big spender but when I put money up for a year without expecting a thing when there are a dozen guys there who contribute nothing, man I don't need that noise.

anyway, will forget about it next week, but it did make me grit my teeth

FasaCorp
03-15-2014, 12:39 PM
I don't pretend to be a big spender but when I put money up for a year without expecting a thing when there are a dozen guys there who contribute nothing, man I don't need that noise.

anyway, will forget about it next week, but it did make me grit my teeth

People, unfortunately, tend to single out individuals rather than looking at the "big picture". In this case, you were singled out because she is used to you regularly tipping you. And, along the same lines, she is also used to large numbers of customers sitting at their tables and not going up to the rail (which has nothing to do with her personally, just the way things are today). Therefore, when you broke routine, she noticed in a bad way (less money for her), because she has been "trained" to expect a tip from you.
It can be frustrating to get the "evil eye" (or worse...) from a regular dancer when she sees you, the customer, decide to change it up a bit and (temporarily?) go with a new dancer lol.

DreamsInDigital
03-18-2014, 08:07 AM
Over the years, I've had countless girls solicit concession tips after I refused dances.

I don't do this myself, but I guess I'm having trouble seeing what the problem with it is? This is common practice at my club.