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View Full Version : So I got invited to a bar by a stripper



fredsh
04-04-2014, 02:03 AM
I want to apologize in advance for the long winded post, but here goes:

So, let me start this off by saying I've only recently started going to the strip club. A couple of months ago, I went for my friend's birthday, and I got a couple of dances from this one dancer. I didn't go to that club again till a couple of nights ago. The same dancer was up there on the stage, and I tipped her. I couldn't tell if she recognized me or not, but I doubted she would after two months. Anyways, then when she was doing her rounds asking for private dances, she stopped by me and said I look familiar. I said yeah, I got a dance from her before. Told her I'd get another one, so we went back to the private room. She gave me a couple of good dances, and was like talking the whole time. She commented on a new tattoo I had, and said she didn't remember it from last time. After the lap dance I went and sat at a table. A bit later she comes over and sits by me and puts a couple of snickers bars (which I had mentioned that I like earlier) and a box of gum on the table. She whispers that her number is in the gum box and tells me not to open it in the club or tell anyone. I waited a day before texting the number. I said something like I had fun last night and thanks for the snickers. She didn't reply. Then earlier today I tried calling the number but no answer. Anyways, me and my buddy were bored so we decided to drop by the strip club again tonight. She was working again, and when she saw me she came over and sat down. She didn't mention any dances but I decided to get a couple more from her. Before I said anything she apologized for not replying to my text since she says she sleeps all day and works all night. Then during the dance, she asks me if I'm 21. I say yeah and she says she's not working Saturday night, her friend's having a birthday party at a bar, maybe I can come and we can have a few drinks and hang out? I tell her I'm down and that I'll text her after the club closes. So now I texted her a few hours ago and she didn't reply again.

I'm really confused. I get that there's a lot of game going on, and that she's probably just trying to retain a potential regular customer. Especially with the number, I've heard that dancers do this from time to time to customers that they want to keep coming back. But in both the case of the number and the party invite, she offered it up without me even hinting at it. Also, I'm young (24) and obviously not sugar daddy material. I don't go crazy with the dances and don't tip especially much when she or other dancers are on the pole. Also I don't get why she doesn't even text back at all? I'm not trying to get a relationship or anything more than maybe sex out of this, though I would genuinely like to hang out and have a conversation in a more casual place like a bar with this girl. Anyone with any insights? Is this a normal method for girls to hook regulars, or am I thinking too much?

yoda57us
04-04-2014, 03:45 AM
This happens all the time. The only text message you can send that will get a response is "Hi, are you working tonight?". You don't have to be sugar daddy material or a big spender. Smart dancers earn their money one customer at a time. You show up, you buy dances. You qualify.

~*SwanPrincess*~
04-05-2014, 04:30 AM
Just because you aren't "sugar daddy material" doesn't mean you can't be a potential good/frequent customer. Even if you only spend $100 on her every time you see her, $100 is a $100...(or whatever you spend)
If she has 10-20 guys doing something similar, it adds up.
Not to sound harsh, but if she wanted to hook up with you, she would. Dancers play games like this all the time.

Radius
04-07-2014, 11:56 AM
Agree with the above also, par for the course. The fact that you're confused about it means you are definitely telling the truth about being new to SCs. You'll see it a lot, eventually :)

Divorced
04-22-2014, 04:34 AM
Yeah... texting responses might be a day or two later, although chances are if she doesn't respond to a text the same day she'll forget. Don't take it personally. Expect she's asleep any time before noon and at work any time after 6. Some girls might be more likely to respond when they're at work. Some girls are just going to text you (on their own rather than as a response) when they are in the club and looking to bring someone in that will spend on them.

Others here probably have more experience than me, I'm in a friendship with a stripper I met my first time to a SC - point being my experience is limited, so take it for what it's worth, but it was nice of her to offer for you to come along to a bar. Don't take it personally if it doesn't (didn't?) pan out, there could be any of a number of reasons having nothing to do with you.

Golden_Rule
05-11-2014, 12:31 PM
I never understood this kind of approach by dancers. It doesn't work, at least not for long.

The unrequested invite, or hints at OTC activity of any sort when not followed through on works to the disadvantage of the dancer using it with any normal, regular, guy. Even a newbie quickly comes to the conclusion that it's bullshit. Then instead of getting dances from her when he is in the club his response to her is, "I would have if you hadn't insulted my intelligence. I mean, I was having fun with just what we were doing in the club and would have continued to do so until it stopped being fun. If you actually wanted to go to that birthday party, that might have been fun as well... but this "text me" and you never reply is a waste of my time. I don't expect you to want me to waste yours, and you should expect me not to like it when you waste mine. Now have a nice day, but no dances here. Buh-bye."

It's bad sales technique to piss off your customers or make them feel stupid.

yoda57us
05-11-2014, 02:02 PM
The unrequested invite, or hints at OTC activity of any sort when not followed through on works to the disadvantage of the dancer using it with any normal, regular, guy. Even a newbie quickly comes to the conclusion that it's bullshit.

LMAO! Sorry GR but if this was 100% true most of the "does she really like me" threads in customer convo would not exist. You may be too smart for it and I certainly agree with you that it's annoying and a guaranteed way to get me NOT to spend money but, as a wise man once said, there is a sucker born every minute. I would add that most of them are in fact normal regular guys. Being a bit gullible or perhaps a bit lonely does not preclude one from being normal.

The girls that do this are interested in short-term gains. It may not work for long but it works long enough.

Golden_Rule
05-11-2014, 02:10 PM
Ok, point taken, but that is surely a sad state of affairs.. [pun intended]

yoda57us
05-11-2014, 03:52 PM
Ok, point taken, but that is surely a sad state of affairs.. [pun intended]

I agree completely. This is a huge part of the reason that I tend to play with the same dancers when I visit a regular club. When visiting a new club I quiet often leave without spending any money if the BS hustle gets too annoying.

ushar85
05-27-2014, 11:25 PM
I've had this happen on quite a few occasions. I figure it's a really good, black and white indicator of how much she's bullshitting you. It's really, fairly easy to tell if her only interest is in getting you back into the club to spend money on her. Once I reach that conclusion, I usually delete their number. I'm not interested in a dancer like that.

I don't mind if a dancer gives me her number and tells me its so I can call ahead and see if she's working. But if she gives me her number because she supposedly has a connection with me, really hit it off with me, or says anything that alludes to having some kind of non-customer relation with me, says I can text her anytime, then never responds to said texts except in such a way that encourages me to spend more money on her in the club, I take issue with that. Not because she's attempting to make a living; but because she's knowingly using exploitation to do so. I'm not the type to say "a sucker deserves to be parted from his money." Personally, I think that's a despicable outlook to have on life. I always wonder how many suckers fell prey to the BS I ignore.

I'm sure I'm in the minority, but I honestly don't understand why such behaviour is tolerated in the adult entertainment business, while it'd be absolutely ridiculed in any other business.

Golden_Rule
05-30-2014, 01:40 PM
I've had this happen on quite a few occasions. I figure it's a really good, black and white indicator of how much she's bullshitting you. It's really, fairly easy to tell if her only interest is in getting you back into the club to spend money on her. Once I reach that conclusion, I usually delete their number. I'm not interested in a dancer like that.

I don't mind if a dancer gives me her number and tells me its so I can call ahead and see if she's working. But if she gives me her number because she supposedly has a connection with me, really hit it off with me, or says anything that alludes to having some kind of non-customer relation with me, says I can text her anytime, then never responds to said texts except in such a way that encourages me to spend more money on her in the club, I take issue with that. Not because she's attempting to make a living; but because she's knowingly using exploitation to do so. I'm not the type to say "a sucker deserves to be parted from his money." Personally, I think that's a despicable outlook to have on life. I always wonder how many suckers fell prey to the BS I ignore.

I'm sure I'm in the minority, but I honestly don't understand why such behaviour is tolerated in the adult entertainment business, while it'd be absolutely ridiculed in any other business.

Then you are deleting a 99.999% of the numbers given you.

Unless you are dealing with a total newbie dancer who might not have adopted the dancer's standard policy toward 'custies' [that being, "It is always business."], or some exclusion that proves the rule, dancers are about conducting their business. Candidly, why shouldn't they. It is there JOB.

I have FAR more dancer friends than most and still I am in the 96% range, I'd gather. When a dancer gives me her number it is either to get me back into the club to spend more money or she is interested in working the invitation only parties I am occasionally involved with. Either way it is about making money, and that is just fine because I don't expect it to be any different unless clearly stated, outside the club, bonafides have been exchanged that move it to another level of human interaction. OK... you know what, make that 98% of the time. {LOL}

And the answer to your question as to why it is tolerated is simple: It is profitable. Dancers need to acknowledge this and not be too hard on the guys who drool over them. It is because of the clowns who think they might actually 'get something' in strip-club without paying for it [whether that be just sex or some dancer to fall for them] that generates a whole lot of the revenue stream in strip-clubs. It is the "custie" mentality that is the source of much of the $$$. So you can't have it both ways.

Get rid of the moon-eyed man-children who think they will find love [or sex without cash] in a strip-club and you kill the goose that laid the gold-plated egg. 8)

Radius
05-31-2014, 10:25 AM
Then you are deleting a 99.999% of the numbers given you.

I was about to say: maybe not, I haven't gotten a stripper's phone number in years, and not had her text me back. That said, it's the "supposedly had a connection" part I choke on... Strippers just don't do the "you're special, we have a connection, here's my number" thing on me; I could see that being off-putting if it did happen, but maybe something about the way I interact just leaves things in a "we need each others' numbers so we can get back together ITC or OTC" context.

Back to the context of getting invited to a bar by a stripper. I go to two strip clubs where the girls commonly invite me out drinking, but it's always spontaneous at first (after a while, some start texting me and asking me to meet them before their shift). One of the clubs had shades of that Seinfeld episode where George dates a hot woman, and because of that he's "in the club" and all other hot women become open to dating him. One stripper asked me to take her to a bar on her break, when we showed up there, two of her stripper friends were there. The 4 of us sat around drinking until break was over (yes, I'm the ATM, but I love it, and it's cheaper than the VIP :) ). Then, those other two girls, having seen me out with the first, would sometimes ask me to the bar ... where I met more strippers, etc etc. There were no less than 6 or 7 girls at the club who'd invite me out for drinks, at that club.

ushar85
06-02-2014, 11:37 AM
Then you are deleting a 99.999% of the numbers given you.


Hardly, more like 50%. Like I said, I don't mind so long as she makes her real intentions clear. If her number is merely for staying in touch so she can notify me when she's in the club, that's fine.

It's the attempted manipulation that really gets my blood boiling. It's disgusting to try to purposefully play on someone's emotions like that in order to benefit financially. Don't get me wrong, a big chunk of the responsibility falls on those who walk themselves blindfolded to the noose! No one should be coming to the club hoping to find love or companionship. That's not the purpose of a strip club. I just personally don't like it when a dancer thinks she can play me for a fool. I'm not taking them to the vip because I expect something other than a fun time out of it, so why complicate things with falsehoods?

Of the 50% of numbers I keep, only two ever turned into an outside relationship; both at her urging. Fellas need to be aware that strip clubs are dark places, where you need to have your wits about you and truly understand the score. I think it's evident that most dancers seemingly have no reservations in the methods they use to separate you from your money. Go for the fantasy, but don't get taken for more than a few bills from your wallet. Yes, on rare occasions you can truly befriend a dancer. But if you're actively looking for that, you leave yourself open to a world of pain, both emotionally and financially!

Tourdefranzia
06-05-2014, 12:13 PM
This happens all the time. The only text message you can send that will get a response is "Hi, are you working tonight?". You don't have to be sugar daddy material or a big spender. Smart dancers earn their money one customer at a time. You show up, you buy dances. You qualify.

This is probably the most accurate. I reply to every text I receive on my work phone until it is obvious that he isn't coming back to the club again. I give it a month or so then will send a "Hey, Handsome! Long time no see. Wanna come in to club and play tonight?" If he doesn't replay with a time/date to meet in the club, I'll put TW (time waster) next to his name and basically ignore him or only text him when I'm bored at work.

It took me years to hammer out my sales system for texting customers. I worked as a booker for an escort agency when I was taking a break from dancing, and that taught me a lot about how to interact over the phone or in text messages to close the sale.

There is another possibility. She might have a crush on you. And crushing on a club customer is an emotional minefield for most dancers. To find out if this is the case or not, send her a romantic text. Make it something simple like, "I keep thinking about you, and I'm finding it very...distracting." You know, subtle and deeply sexy.

And please, no matter what you do, no dick pics! It's such a turn off to get one without warning. :O

Tourdefranzia
06-05-2014, 12:25 PM
I'm sure I'm in the minority, but I honestly don't understand why such behaviour is tolerated in the adult entertainment business, while it'd be absolutely ridiculed in any other business.

It happens all the time in other businesses. Ever tried to get a contractor out to make a bid on a project on your house? It's kind of the same deal. They don't show up, don't call. Or if they do show up, they never get back to you again with a bid (that has always baffled me. The contractor took the time to show up, do the measurements, take an hour or two trying to figure out what the customer wants, then nothing? The mind wobbles!). I've had this kind of issue with other service providers as well, like hair stylists. I'm friendly, on time, don't complain and tip very well. I just don't get it when a stylist I like changes locations w/o a call or note or nothing. So weird.

The bar is so low when it comes to maintaining a good business structure, that even mediocre businesses can do well if they just do what they say they are going to do. How hard can it be?

ushar85
06-05-2014, 04:25 PM
It happens all the time in other businesses. Ever tried to get a contractor out to make a bid on a project on your house? It's kind of the same deal. They don't show up, don't call. Or if they do show up, they never get back to you again with a bid (that has always baffled me. The contractor took the time to show up, do the measurements, take an hour or two trying to figure out what the customer wants, then nothing? The mind wobbles!). I've had this kind of issue with other service providers as well, like hair stylists. I'm friendly, on time, don't complain and tip very well. I just don't get it when a stylist I like changes locations w/o a call or note or nothing. So weird.

The bar is so low when it comes to maintaining a good business structure, that even mediocre businesses can do well if they just do what they say they are going to do. How hard can it be?

I actually deal with contractors all the time in my line of work! While what you say is true, comparing it to the adult entertainment industry, specifically strip clubs, is like comparing a mountain to a mole hill. It's far more rampant and accepted in strip clubs. If a contractor does something unethical, very few people would take his side of things. However, if a dancer leads a guy on and takes all his money, the majority of people would laugh and say he should have expected that and that the dancer's only doing what she has to do to make a living!

Of course, my point isn't that customers should expect special treatment from dancers or go in with certain expectations above and beyond what a strip club offers. My point is that people who muddy those waters are in the wrong, regardless of which side of the stage they're on, and such actions shouldn't be accepted as par for the course.

startngate
07-29-2014, 08:49 PM
Anyone with any insights? Is this a normal method for girls to hook regulars, or am I thinking too much?

Impossible to know for sure. From my experience, a dancer giving you her number is normally just a marketing ploy. She wants you to get in touch when you are coming to the club, either to make sure she's there, or to talk you out of it if she's not and protect the money for herself. It's a cold reality, but reality just the same.

On the off chance she was serious and wants to hang out, keep in mind that there could be any number of reasons why she isn't responding. She could be asleep, she could be out with someone and can't respond, she could be at work. Or the principal reason ... some dancers (not all, don't shoot the messenger) are complete flakes. They meet tons of men each night, they'll forget they made plans with you, one of their other regulars will call, some drama in their lives will come up, they got a better invitation, or maybe they were completely wasted that night and don't remember who the random text they just received came from. It happens.

Chasing after her and repeatedly texting/calling when you get no response has the same effect on any woman, not just dancers. Most will think you're trying too hard and it's a turn off.

As for you, it's really up to you how much of that you are willing to tolerate. If she really wants to see you, she'll figure out how to make it happen. The next time she brings it up, tell her to call you with the details ... and then don't text her or call her to follow up on the invitation, just let it be. Forget she even made the offer, and consider it a bonus if it actually comes together. Ignore any texts she sends you asking you to come to the club, and if she calls to ask you to come in, say you're busy. Just go back to the club whenever you feel like it, regardless of whether or not she's working. You'll find out her true intentions pretty quickly.

Or, simply move on to another dancer if you get the feeling you're just being played.

threlayer
10-05-2014, 10:33 AM
I think it is the drink factor or the flake factor.