View Full Version : Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)
Miss_Red
03-29-2015, 04:05 AM
Dear nervous boys,
Oh my god. Stop with the hand-wringing. It's a dance, not a life commitment. It's 40 dollars. You regularly spend more than that on video games, I guarantee it. It's me getting frisky in your lap, it's not a fucking marriage and you're not cheating on your wife or your girlfriend, and if you feel like it's cheating why are you fucking here in the first place? You act like you're picking out a college, consulting your friends, you crying "I shouldn't be doing this!" like a catholic schoolgirl her first time out. Yes or no, motherfucker. Reach down, feel the place where your balls should be, and make a fucking decision like a man.
I'm good at feigning arousal, sweetie, it's my job, but I swear to God I'd rather dance for a smelly, grabby guy who speaks no English because at least that person is a grown man. You? You're the 12-year-old girl who stands at the counter of a restaurant for 10 minutes trying to decide what she wants, asking her friends, because she's been trained not to have an opinion. Every second you cry to me dramatically about how you have a wife and should I do this and oh my god I can't believe you're seducing me like this, my vagina becomes more and more like the Sahara desert and my hands start to feel around for the nearest sharp object. Get a dance or fucking don't, but stop acting like this is the end of Act II in the dramatic play that is your life. Nobody's watching the play, nobody cares. You 12-year-old goth drama queen, you.
Sincerely,
-Just shoot me
JessaJade
03-29-2015, 12:37 PM
^Brilliant
BarbieNYC
03-29-2015, 05:20 PM
Dear female customers and couples,
Please stop coming. Please stop trying to seem cool and take selfies in the strip club for instagram. Please stop taking pictures of your stack of singles your husband has changed out when it's probably the rent money. And you guys don't even tip, or if you do it's one dollar for the both of you. And with groups of female customers, its one fuxking dollar for the five of you bitches
Please stop coming in early and staying the whole night because now you're taking up valuable space at 2am when the drug dealers come in and have no where to sit. Because now instead of getting rained on for my stage show and fat ass, I gotta hustle on the side because you're watching my awesome stage for nothing.
and when a drug dealer starts making it rain on me next to you, please don't smack my ass and grab my thong like its your money being thrown on me. And im glad you got offended when you told your husband to smack my ass properly and said drug dealer told you guys to
throw your own money otherwise chill and leave me the fuxk alone. That's what you get.
also i think its funny you said you were so happy to see another white girl with a big booty, but please don't lump yourself with me. I am thick. You're just fat.
sincerely,
I'm not white im spanish
p.s. Thanks random drug dealer. You get how this works.
NightGoddess
03-31-2015, 10:25 PM
^I dig down drug dealers.
cleopatra216
04-01-2015, 02:55 AM
Haha I love the talkers! So much easier to hold a conversation than to fake sexual attraction.
baer45
04-02-2015, 07:42 PM
This is how I feel when I am at work in the club.
kirakonstantin
04-03-2015, 08:57 AM
Dear female customers and couples,
Please stop coming. Please stop trying to seem cool and take selfies in the strip club for instagram. Please stop taking pictures of your stack of singles your husband has changed out when it's probably the rent money. And you guys don't even tip, or if you do it's one dollar for the both of you. And with groups of female customers, its one fuxking dollar for the five of you bitches
Please stop coming in early and staying the whole night because now you're taking up valuable space at 2am when the drug dealers come in and have no where to sit. Because now instead of getting rained on for my stage show and fat ass, I gotta hustle on the side because you're watching my awesome stage for nothing.
and when a drug dealer starts making it rain on me next to you, please don't smack my ass and grab my thong like its your money being thrown on me. And im glad you got offended when you told your husband to smack my ass properly and said drug dealer told you guys to
throw your own money otherwise chill and leave me the fuxk alone. That's what you get.
also i think its funny you said you were so happy to see another white girl with a big booty, but please don't lump yourself with me. I am thick. You're just fat.
sincerely,
I'm not white im spanish
p.s. Thanks random drug dealer. You get how this works.
And, couples, please LEAVE YOUR FUCKING CLOTHES ON. Seriously, ladies, I'm really tired of y'all getting drunk and thinking that you can be a stripper too because it's easy. It's not, you have no idea what you're doing and you look ridiculous. Wait until you get home before you take your top off and awkwardly grind on your equally drunk boyfriend. Or pay a stage fee and get your flabby ass on stage.
Miss_Red
04-04-2015, 12:35 AM
Dear weirdo,
You didn't actually "hypnotize" me, and I didn't feel your psychic energy through the palms of my hands. But thanks for your money. You should have given me a lot more than that for my academy-award-winning performance, but whatever.
I also really love how betrayed you felt the minute I said we should go into VIP if we were going to keep doing this. Your new-age hippy bullshit instantly transformed into angry lonely old man-ness. I know, it's shocking that I'm doing this for money.
Sincerely,
-Will say absolutely anything if you're paying.
zoezoebelle
04-20-2015, 08:28 AM
Dear weirdo,
You didn't actually "hypnotize" me, and I didn't feel your psychic energy through the palms of my hands. But thanks for your money. You should have given me a lot more than that for my academy-award-winning performance, but whatever.
I also really love how betrayed you felt the minute I said we should go into VIP if we were going to keep doing this. Your new-age hippy bullshit instantly transformed into angry lonely old man-ness. I know, it's shocking that I'm doing this for money.
Sincerely,
-Will say absolutely anything if you're paying.
Hahahaha. That reminds me of the customer I got who said he was a "tantra master" and tried to "form a spiritual connection between us for a non-physical orgasm." I was like, "Oh my god, that was amazing! I totally felt your energy!" He then tried to convince me to come to his place sometime to become "meditation partners." xD Fat old Indian dude with serious BO. Nooo thanks dude!
I don't know why, but I seem to attract all the freaky weird immigrants. Old Chinese dudes who want to rub my thighs the whole time, one Korean dude who just hugs me and massages my back, a Trinidadian guy who wants to cover me in singles and rub noses with me. And then there are the freaky weird non-immigrant guys, like the enormously fat short dude who lay down sideways on the couch and kept saying "literally swimming in pussy" while telling hilarious tall tales about his life. It's a freaking nut house some nights.
Selina M
04-20-2015, 01:24 PM
Dear female customer,
Please wear underwear.
NightGoddess
04-20-2015, 01:35 PM
Dear tortilla breath,
I charged you extra because your breath smelled so bad.
Thanks.
lilylilylily
04-21-2015, 01:39 AM
Please take a shower and brush your teeth and wear some cologne before you come to the club. Please.
HoolaTwister
04-22-2015, 11:54 AM
Dear female customers and couples,
Please stop coming. Please stop trying to seem cool and take selfies in the strip club for instagram. Please stop taking pictures of your stack of singles your husband has changed out when it's probably the rent money. And you guys don't even tip, or if you do it's one dollar for the both of you. And with groups of female customers, its one fuxking dollar for the five of you bitches
Please stop coming in early and staying the whole night because now you're taking up valuable space at 2am when the drug dealers come in and have no where to sit. Because now instead of getting rained on for my stage show and fat ass, I gotta hustle on the side because you're watching my awesome stage for nothing.
and when a drug dealer starts making it rain on me next to you, please don't smack my ass and grab my thong like its your money being thrown on me. And im glad you got offended when you told your husband to smack my ass properly and said drug dealer told you guys to
throw your own money otherwise chill and leave me the fuxk alone. That's what you get.
also i think its funny you said you were so happy to see another white girl with a big booty, but please don't lump yourself with me. I am thick. You're just fat.
sincerely,
I'm not white im spanish
p.s. Thanks random drug dealer. You get how this works.
I love all this *claps* but Spanish = White.
imaminxkitty
04-26-2015, 09:38 PM
Dear broke ass,
Don't ever ask me for a cigarette. Don't ask me for any of my shit that I've paid for. EVER. You should know that you should be paying me for even coming to sit next to you. Don't come to the fucking club if you're too broke to even buy your own pack of cigarettes. Dickhead.
BarbieNYC
04-26-2015, 10:10 PM
Dear group of pathetic little wannabe ballers and your stupid little thots you brought with you,
I know that $500-$1000 in singles you each changed was your rent money. You know how I knew?
Your shoe game was not strong. I've seen fresher kicks at planet fitness.
You had one bottle of Hennessey for the twenty of you.
You guys passed around that rack of money between all of you cuz you all wanted to see what it felt like to hold that much money in your hand.
You held on to your stacks of money for dear life.
And you "made it rain" by throwing $4 at a time. And you had the nerve to throw popcorn dollars at me?
Also i'm glad some other girl picked up the stack of your money I threw in your face. Cuz obviously you needed it more than me.
Also nice try trying to get me in trouble and give you back $100. If you were a true baller, that would've been nothing to you. Now where are you gonna get that $100 for your rent?
I'm glad you noobs got to see me get rained on and watch people throw money at me at the other end of the stage. And I hope you enjoyed the middle finger and big smile I gave you all while walking off stage
Sincerely,
Fuck your payless shoes
P.s. to the bitches with you who gave me attitude after I tried to discreetly tell u there was a dark stain on your white pants when u got up to make a pathetic attempt at twerking, next time I hope u sit in shit on the train. Trashy, pancake assed bitch.
carmen_b
04-27-2015, 01:33 AM
Dear Body Rub Customers :
Even if I could magically fly to your hotel in 15 minutes , I'm not sure you'd want me there. I'm pretty gross without 60 minutes of prep.
Thanx
Usually Sweaty and often Dirty , C
LadyJezebel
04-29-2015, 03:51 PM
Dear customer who wanted a BJ in the lap dance booth then complained to management about me,
I in no way in hell believe that you had thousands waiting at your hotel for me, and just came out with x amount of money and that's why you can't go to VIP. Oh, you want a bj in a curtained booth for under $200? Oh, I have a bad attitude and am all about the money?? Now you're complaining about me?? You are literally the worst god damn customer I've ever had please never darker a club's doorstep ever again
zoezoebelle
04-29-2015, 06:38 PM
Dear creepy obsessive pervert,
I don't care if you are the single richest man on the planet. I don't care how much money you spend on other girls and then creepily talk to them about me in the VIP. I don't care how often you come in. I don't care that you stare at me while I'm on stage with that creepy-ass smile. I am never ever ever ever touching you again, you bastard spawn of Hitler. You are a fucking psychopath, and you're the reason I quit for two months. Keep waiting in the corner there. I wouldn't touch you if my life depended on it.
zoezoebelle
05-04-2015, 05:53 AM
Dear retired banker,
I hate you so much. You have no idea the extent to which I want to strangle you. I may say things like, "Oh, haha, you're so fun." But what I really mean to say is, "You are an evil bastard who is partially responsible for the downfall of the US." You think you can bribe me with escort rates to cheat on my boyfriend with you? You've already fucked me, my entire generation and the US economy right up the ass!! What more do you want? Not to mention that was an insulting figure to bribe me with. I have no doubt that you have some massive yacht which was custom made with children's tears, but I'm not interested. You think I don't know who you are? Bitch I read Forbes. But since I'm broke and you're apparently obsessed with me, I'm going to make the most of fucking with your head and taking your money. I'm liking this power dynamic of bringing you to your knees.
Miss_Red
05-16-2015, 02:18 PM
Dear adherent,
You rude sack of shit. After flying into a fury because I could not give you attention at the moment you wanted it, you informed me, apropos of nothing, that I'm "not a goddess."
I never claimed to be anything of the kind, but let's look at the situation. You have put me on a pedestal, literally. You sit at my feet and give me tribute, or at least that's how it's supposed to work in my temple, which you attend in an effort to fulfill some basic human need.
And you hurl abuse at me, you and your sort: all the anger and mommy issues and impotence and powerlessness you feel in your life comes spilling out when you talk to me and I refuse to answer your prayers. And isn't that exactly what gods are for? To take shit from mortals? Prometheus. Jesus. We have a long history of taking our anger out on gods. Someone must take the blame.
A goddess is, by definition, on a different plane of existence: she is unattainable. And for you, little boy, I fit that definition completely. No amount of money or begging or threatening words could make me yours, even for an instant. I need nothing you have, and you are dirt beneath my feet.
So in short, you worthless heap of garbage, it kind of seems as though you're as wrong about that last sentence as you were about literally every other thing you said to me.
Sincerely,
-Me
P.S. I almost forgot: sometimes gods send plagues on those who disappoint them. Do you have free goats? Because, for the sin of giving me your number for texting purposes before insulting me, I send my archangel Craigslist to bring a plague of free-goat-callers upon you.
iamthefox
05-19-2015, 03:20 PM
Dear White or those of more European decedent customers who have afro-fetishes,
5.) To refer to slavery:::: it's not Jefferson times my man so you can't assume I'm ok with being your mistress because "Becky or Kattie" (yes that's racist, my bad) at home ain't fulfilling your needs and you wish you can "go back in time" (-_-) like damn it's just a dance. Just make me think sometimes do I really be putting mother fucker in a spell with my ass soooo much that they say fuck it I need to own this bitch where's my time machine?:::: owning another person is wrong stop joking about
Holy fuck. You never told me about that. Bless my light privilege I've never had to hear that, cuz I think I'd accidentally stiletto someone...
tempest666
05-19-2015, 04:21 PM
Dear female customer,
Please wear underwear.
Ugh it's that time of year for the "FURBY" to come out.
I_am_out
06-05-2015, 07:11 PM
Dear rude fucks,
when I come to approach you, simple "Thanks, I am good for now" is more than enough for me to leave you alone. But apparently that's too hard for you to understand. Hence you wave me away/shake your head/simply ignore me. Like really?? Do you seriously lack manners that much? But let's not kid ourselves. If I came to you at the regular bar, you would shit your pants. You simply wouldn't believe that someone decent-looking paid attention to you. Anyway, it's still annoying that you act like that cause I don't want other customers to notice that and feel like I am unpopular or whatever.
SexedUpCat2
06-09-2015, 04:52 PM
Dear you,
Just because the manager said he'd keep the club going at closing (we were doing a lot of VIPs) does *not* mean that as long as you keep spending the cash, you get to lick my nipples much less "do whatever you want with me."
Fuck you. I don't regret ending our dances then and there.
MelissaRenee
06-09-2015, 09:00 PM
Dear customer,
Why do you come here? If you believe that spending 500 dollars is only worth it "if you get to fuck me," why bother? I've seen you here multiple times. You know the game. You know I'm not going to have sex with you back there. You know I don't even APPROACH you which is why you call me over all the time and do stupid things to get my attention, like grabbing my ass. Speaking of which, why do you think that's okay? Yes, I realize we are in a strip club, but I am still a human being and working here does not mean I sign away my body to be touched, grabbed, pinched, or licked at random moments I'm not expecting. Especially not if you're not even TIPPING ME when I go on stage.
I have never seen you buy dances, tip someone, buy someone a drink, or generally be a good customer in any way, shape, or form. Maybe you're as despicable outside of the club and you're here because you can't get a lady in real life, either. Go away, you are literally useless sitting in your corner. My only guess is you get a kick out of wasting peoples time. You are a truly horrible human being. It's like going into a restaurant, using their wifi, bathroom, etc, ordering a water, and leaving without tipping. You just take what you can for free.
Also...
Dear man who was snapchatting me on stage.
I remember my first time at a strip club too!!!! AND the first time I saw a naked woman!
Luckily I had the basic decency to realize she is a human being and does have the basic right to decide when she is photographed. So I didn't take photos because I'm not a terrible person and I realize that the internet exists. How many people did you send that to? One? Two? A group? All your friends? How many of them simply need to press two buttons on their iPhone and save my naked image forever? How many of them might post it? Will you?
You do realize I just paid a lot of money for a college education. I'm not going to be dancing forever. One day I'm going to have a straight job. One day (I hope not) I'm going to have a boss who won't be cool with the fact I used to dance naked for a living. One day my family might see this. My little brothers. My future children, even. One day this might come back to haunt me.
It's not okay to take photos of people without their consent. Ever. Clothed or not. It's rude and cruel. And actually illegal.
Sincerely,
The stripper who should have smashed your phone to bits on stage with her stiletto.
zoezoebelle
06-11-2015, 10:45 PM
Dear guy in Buddy Holly glasses and black open-collar shirt,
No woman has ever orgasmed in five seconds without stimulation. I felt like I need to work on my acting (which is funny because you dress like a director) since you kept saying "cum for me" when I was just sitting on top of your dick not even moving. You're so weird. The dumbest thing is that you're one of a very small number of guys I've had to fake orgasm for like that, because I'm a nympho and most guys can get me off by doing almost nothing. So no, we don't have "such great chemistry" that I want to go out with you. Also, the way you talk in the third person creeps me out immensely.
Also, was that scandal about you a conspiracy??? OMG I need to know! xD This is driving me nuts because I recognised you and sure enough, you are that guy. I kind of want to make a joke subtly referencing it but you'd probably punch me in the face. And I really want to ask but I doubt you'd tell me anyway. It's weird because it was a sex scandal and you are definitely a freaky weird sexual pervert, but somehow I can't see you being dumb enough to do that. It feels a lot like career sabotage due to not being loyal to either party.
catlover0106
06-11-2015, 11:20 PM
Dear customers who ask me what I'm doing when I get off,
The answer is and will always be "Not you."
Stop trying. I'm a stripper not a prostitute. Oh and telling me you know that and are gonna take me out does not make it any more appealing. If you actually liked and respected me you wouldn't be asking to hang out at 3 am and you might be able to tip me decently and actually buy a dance. Not that it really matters because it's a strip club not a dating website.
This isn't just a problem I've had stripping by the way. Before I worked as a stripper I worked the late night shift as a cashier at a sub shop located next to a couple bars, that got packed with drunk college guys who would ask when I got off I would reply "around 4 am" they would say "so what are you doing when you get off?"
Guys never seem to be able to grasp I work to make money and pay my bills, not to find a one night stand.
I_am_out
06-12-2015, 01:23 AM
^ Right!
And it's kinda creepy when they ask WHEN I get off. Every time I hear this question, I imagine how his creepy ass is waiting for me around exit after club gets closed.
MelissaRenee
06-14-2015, 08:28 PM
Dear time waster last night,
Thanks for pulling me over, repeatedly telling me how "dope" I am and how you would do anything for me and then not even being willing to pay 25 dollars for a lap dance. And when I suggest dances back up in the corner and suggest you want to "talk." I'm not an idiot and I know when someone is wasting my time. It's a Saturday night and I don't feel like talking when you're showing zero signs of spending any money. There are other customers here.
Dear creep who told my co worker I went to his house to make her jealous,
Why?
SexedUpCat2
06-15-2015, 03:16 AM
Dear Mountain Men,
I'm so, so sorry about your friend...I remember meeting him the first couple times you all came in. He was a nice guy and a gentleman (as far as I could tell in the club). He was certainly too young to pass away, but I know how dangerous your job is, and I know we all appreciate what you do. I'm happy my friend and I could make your night a little better and give you a chance to forget about your loss, but I know it doesn't take the pain away for good. My heart goes out to all of you and please, please be safe!
May your friend rest in peace <3
Ms.Belle
10-30-2015, 11:54 AM
Delete
Selina M
10-30-2015, 09:04 PM
You wait for my shift to be over so that you can follow along side of my car to “spend more time together” and write notes and hold them up for me to see. All of those “phone calls” I take on my drive home? Totally fake – just so I don’t have to look over at you. Piece of shit.
HOLY SHIT that is creepy!!! Omg can't you get the bouncers to keep him from following you?!
Ms.Belle
10-30-2015, 09:08 PM
Delete
baby-cougar
11-08-2015, 01:04 PM
Dear asshat,
We don't have a "connection," it's called "me doing my job." Also, your obsession with "not being your typical Indian guy" is really pathetic, and trying to impress me with a laundry list of all the different East Asian women you have dated is fucking creepy. You realize we're not Pokemon, right? You can't fucking catch us all.
Fuck off forever,
Me
TearieLeigh
11-13-2015, 11:20 PM
Dear guy who's mothers name is my dancer name.
Could please stop yelling at me every time I'm on stage. Im sorry your mom died when you were a kid, but thats not my fault. All your doing is is annoying everyone else, and pissing me off.
Seriously though, every Saturday he comes in and does this. It's extremely annoying.
nekothekitty
11-15-2015, 09:05 PM
Dear loner guy,
NO I will not go home with you, no I won't go out to eat with you and no I won't hang out with you. I only gave you my number so you can come back and spend money on me, not fucking ask me what I'm doing 24/7 and to "save" me from my job. You're not my dad, boyfriend or whoever you're trying to be. To me you're money and if you ain't talking money I don't wanna talk
Love,
Seriously stop getting mad I don't respond to ur texts.
carmen_b
11-16-2015, 02:20 PM
Dear Customer :
Send your hotel and your preferred time to see me in your FIRST contact or you will get NOTHING . Absolutely nothing.
C
miss.a.p1600
11-16-2015, 04:42 PM
Hey Cocksucker,
No I don't know where you can buy weed or coke so don't even bother asking? What the f*ck, Does this look like a trap house to you?
Sit your silly a$$ down and don't even think about wasting my time. I don't want to hear or talk about anything unless its pertaining to how much you want to spend on dances. And if you have less than $100 to spend don't act like a royal douchemeister and take up more than 10 min of my time on the main floor.
And when we get back to VIP you better not touch me without asking. If I allow you, and you try to grope me, be prepared for me to bounce on this dance without warning and take your money. And yes you will prepay without asking questions cause I don't trust your kind.
Just remember this hoe, you are damn lucky to be spending time with a woman my caliber.
barbiecon
11-19-2015, 06:13 AM
dear creepy customer
put your cock away! just because you have your tshirst over it doesnt mean i cant see or feel it flapping around put it away!
Miss_Red
11-22-2015, 11:33 PM
Dear Fuckboys,
I'm not without empathy. There are LOTS of things I'd like to have and can't afford. Like a Corvette. Boy, I would sure like one of those!
But even though I'd love to own a Corvette, I know I can't afford it, so I don't go to the Corvette dealership. If I ever decided to go to one, just to look, I wouldn't ask what the price was and then whine about how it's too high. I wouldn't say some stupid shit about how I can go buy a Ford Taurus for less than half the price, then demand a discount because I'm too broke to afford what I really want.
Every once in a while, I'll find something in a store I like and ask about the price. When I hear a number that I don't like? I don't get mad or whiny. I say, "Ok, thank you", and leave the store. Or buy something else. The End.
That's because I have something called dignity. Seriously, how are you not embarrassed to broadcast your fiscal impotence to me? You're too broke to afford me: fine. I can understand that; exeunt stage left and find something else to do. I could not give less of a shit about your opinion on whether the price is fair, or how many whores you can buy with the same amount of money. This is just like any other store you've ever been in, except with tits. Pay up or GTFO.
Sincerely,
-$40 for a single song, $100 for 3 songs, etc.
MetalRoses
11-23-2015, 01:07 AM
Dear boring regular who thinks giving me $$$ gives you the green light to give unsolicited (reoccurring comments no less) about how I "am like that because I'm Asian". Or about how I "should remember that I can't do this job forever" or about the fact that since you're an fugly old man who had to pay to even get the time of day with me entitled you to tell me "you must have been a knock-out before you had kids!" So I will say again what I told you in person before I decided to no longer entertain you and blocked your number..."I'm obviously still a knock-out, before kids, or not." I mean, funny how you just blew half your check on me, being that you seem to feel the need to put ME down. Very sad and ridiculous, no? Thank you for paying my bills which came from your boring miserable job which you admit to hating.
MetalRoses
11-23-2015, 01:15 AM
Thank you with all my stripper heart to the guy from Alabama who was kind, generous, and appreciated my company, conversation, and hotness. I love the VS Gift Card and Sexy/Clever card that came with! Guys like you help make my job worth it.
luna93
11-23-2015, 08:26 AM
Dear young white kid outraged for being stereotyped by strippers for not being a big spender,
This is the closest you've come to prejudice and dehumanizing stereotypes and you want to talk to a WOMAN SEX WORKER about how unfair it all is. Go fuck yourself.
Oh, and you were cheap. Surprise surprise.
-Your friendly Cleveland stripper
Miss_Red
11-24-2015, 02:40 PM
Dear rude idiot,
I can think of no better way to prove me right about cutting you off for pushing my boundaries than replying to my "do not ever contact me again" text with an explanation of how you aren't pushing boundaries. Thank you for confirming that, as usual, my instincts are on point.
Regards,
-Nope
iamthefox
11-30-2015, 11:44 PM
No, I am NOT in the wrong career field, nor am I at the wrong club; you are just messing with the WRONG bitch. I don't care if you're friends with the owner. You entitled dick-shit-ass-fuck. Fuck. Die.
Swarovskibunny
12-06-2015, 02:37 PM
To the guys who let their mouths hang open during dances, like they're hoping that my boob will fly into their mouth:
You seriously look retarded. But unfortunately for you, you're just going to keep looking like that for the rest of the dance because I'm not granting that wish, ya lil nasty ass. The fact that you're paying (and tipping)me is the only reason that I don't take a picture/vid of you to show you how stupid you look right now. It's embarrassing.
Ps: Brush yo damn teeth!!
somechick99
01-03-2016, 06:22 AM
Letter one:
Dear customers who insult dancers (whether on looks, performance, hustle, etc),
I doubt it's a coincidence every time I see this happen, it's from someone ugly, broke, or both (usually both). I understand you're an insecure loser, hence why you're forced to pay for tits in the first place, but that's no reason to project your insecurities onto us. You can try and fool us into thinking it's OUR fault you're not spending money, but at the end of the day we know the real reason is that you're cheap as hell.
The day you walk around with your dick out (not that any of us would find that sight appealing...or be able to spot it half the time) is the day you can call the girl busting her ass on stage fat, tell a girl she needs bigger boobs or butt, etc. But THANK GOD that day will never come because unlike our beautiful bodies, nobody wants to see yours.
Letter two:
Dear customers who use having a wife/gf as an excuse to not buy dances,
Congratulations! Not only are you being shitty to your wife by showing up in the first place (I understand that's a controversial view, but that's my personal opinion), but you're useless to strippers as well. In other words, you are useless to women everywhere. Go the fuck home.
This thread is awesome lol
NatilyExotic
01-03-2016, 06:41 AM
Dear childish idiots in my tip row,
Laughing and throwing one dollar on stage isn't cool. Seriously if a dollar is all the 3 of you can tip. KEEP IT !
Dear customers looking for sex ,
I will not have any type of sex with you. Dancing and that is it. I don't care if Slut a-licious gave you head in VIP and rode it like what it was going out of style. Also stop with the " Come on this is Vegas " bullshit . I know what city I'm in .
Miss_Red
01-05-2016, 11:48 PM
Dear Customers who tell me all about how they respect women and then push my boundaries in the VIP room
Why?? Why are you like this?? Why??
Sincerely,
-Surprised every time for some reason
Selina M
01-06-2016, 12:42 PM
Dear football crowd from Sunday who were the last straw,
You in the front row who held up a dollar and said "May I get some boobs in my face? Please?" and then said "So it's gonna be like that huh?" when I sarcastically went "Oh? For a WHOLE DOLLAR?".... Yes, it's gonna be like that, you entitled fuck. You're not cool.
You in the back who brought in a stack of singles with a $20 on top... We all know that's your rent money changed out. Don't call me sweetheart. I don't care if you're 'waiting for some friends'. Go to Buffalo Wild Wings and wait there.
The rest of you... I don't care that football is on. Go watch it somewhere else. This is a strip club, not a sports bar.
Manager who let me go home without paying house, after scratching me off the list and pretending I went home sick... you rock.