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View Full Version : What makes you want to spend $$$ on a stripper?



enigma42
04-13-2014, 12:03 PM
I wanted to place this question in a section devoted to devotees of webcam girls, but I suppose that this would work too. A long time ago I used to spend a LOT of money on girls online - probably way too much. Somehow I thought that it would help the girl - not buy her affection. However, as time has progressed, I have realized that giving these girls money, even just to chat with me, is not worth it.

Because of this, I wanted to ask you guys - what motivated you from being a lurker to being a paying customer? Do you really think it's worth that money?

lawdude
04-13-2014, 01:41 PM
I think it's worth the money so long as you can afford it. It's a fantasy, a girl who would normally be out of your league shows interest in you. It's harmless as long as you don't take it seriously. And a dancer who is good at her job, who can make the customer feel wanted and desired and hot and sexy, really delivers a fun experience that is worth the money.

safado
04-13-2014, 06:51 PM
My little head makes me do it.

rgbg
04-15-2014, 02:57 AM
If a dancer treats me well (more than an 'air dance'), it is only fair that she get some benefit from it. (Once I was talking to a dancer, she mentioned it had been a very slow day and she was staying late to try to make a bit more. I took her up on this in the private room and improved her day while she certainly improved mine). Part of the beauty of the SC experience for me is that it is simply about money. When I leave, there are no other complications in either of our lives.

Golden_Rule
05-11-2014, 12:43 PM
I wanted to place this question in a section devoted to devotees of webcam girls, but I suppose that this would work too. A long time ago I used to spend a LOT of money on girls online - probably way too much. Somehow I thought that it would help the girl - not buy her affection. However, as time has progressed, I have realized that giving these girls money, even just to chat with me, is not worth it.

Because of this, I wanted to ask you guys - what motivated you from being a lurker to being a paying customer? Do you really think it's worth that money?

Giving money to anyone for other than quid pro quo, unless it is flat out charity, is bad medicine.

I tip dancers when I am entertained by them, in appreciation and exchange for that entertainment. I got something, I gave something. If I am not being entertained I do not tip, because there is nothing to be tipping for... I got nothing, I gave nothing.

Entertainment means just that. It is all encompassing and is not a euphemism for sex, though sometimes entertainment can take the form of sex.

It is a give a little, get a little, world. Charity is a fine thing, and I do practice it, but when I do I do so with ZERO expectation. It is a gift, plain and simple. No strings attached. Never give something for nothing when you have expectations involved [mine when I enter a club is simply to have a good time - which is open to any form that may take]. All it will do is make you feel foolish if you have given and get nothing back. 8)

Golden_Rule
05-11-2014, 12:48 PM
I think it's worth the money so long as you can afford it. It's a fantasy, a girl who would normally be out of your league shows interest in you. It's harmless as long as you don't take it seriously. And a dancer who is good at her job, who can make the customer feel wanted and desired and hot and sexy, really delivers a fun experience that is worth the money.

Two things wrong with this: The concept that anyone is "out of your league". People are people and we all look foolish truly naked [and by that I mean with all our faults exposed].

The other is what can make strip-clubs a sad place when it is full of men seeking to 'feel' wanted and desired and are willing to exchange a pretend state of being for the real thing [and those are the only guys who do it for if you actually have it in your real life the substitute just seems silly by comparison and you won't want it].

Strip-clubs are for being entertained. Nothing more.

lawdude
05-12-2014, 12:58 PM
Two things wrong with this: The concept that anyone is "out of your league". People are people and we all look foolish truly naked [and by that I mean with all our faults exposed].

The other is what can make strip-clubs a sad place when it is full of men seeking to 'feel' wanted and desired and are willing to exchange a pretend state of being for the real thing [and those are the only guys who do it for if you actually have it in your real life the substitute just seems silly by comparison and you won't want it].

Strip-clubs are for being entertained. Nothing more.

Of course some people are out of your league. Seriously, we aren't all George Clooney. Part of the fantasy being sold by strip clubs is that really hot women, who would normally not give you the time of day, are actually interested in you.

And no, that sort of fantasy is not unhealthy. Indeed, what's unhealthy are the guys who don't understand that it is a fantasy and think the girls are actually interested in them and not their money.

rickdugan
05-12-2014, 02:19 PM
Of course some people are out of your league. Seriously, we aren't all George Clooney. Part of the fantasy being sold by strip clubs is that really hot women, who would normally not give you the time of day, are actually interested in you.

And no, that sort of fantasy is not unhealthy. Indeed, what's unhealthy are the guys who don't understand that it is a fantasy and think the girls are actually interested in them and not their money.

If I went to a strip club because I needed a fantasy, I would stop going just out of sheer self disgust. Seriously dude. I go to be entertained, whatever form that takes. Period.

Now having said that, could I bag a hot 23 year old girl in a bar now? Maybe if I was still 23, but not now, or at least my odds aren't very good, and I am fine with that. I don't go into a strip joint wishing to believe otherwise - I just go in for fun, including a little edgy entertainment. That "I'm selling the fantasy" nonsense is what weaker minded strippers need to believe to make themselves feel good about their jobs. The stronger girls, on the other hand, understand that the term "entertainer" actually includes a need to...well...entertain.

See the difference now?

simone87
05-12-2014, 02:26 PM
^ i think it really depends. some guys really DO want to be sold a fantasy, and a smart stripper will understand that. different approach for every guy, no two are the same.

IHearVoices
05-12-2014, 02:28 PM
Two things wrong with this: The concept that anyone is "out of your league". People are people and we all look foolish truly naked [and by that I mean with all our faults exposed].

The other is what can make strip-clubs a sad place when it is full of men seeking to 'feel' wanted and desired and are willing to exchange a pretend state of being for the real thing [and those are the only guys who do it for if you actually have it in your real life the substitute just seems silly by comparison and you won't want it].

Strip-clubs are for being entertained. Nothing more.

All of this, especially the last line. In this vein, the SC really isn't that different than a dance club. You can always tell the guys who are there to have fun and the guys who are "looking for love". Dancers can tell, other customers can tell, bartenders can tell...everyone can tell. Guys in the latter group are always more likely to act out of line - especially in a SC since they feel they're 'so close' due to the clothing-optional environment.

I was often nervous when I started going to SCs. Once I figured out the best way to have fun was to...well, have fun...my times improved. That was in no small part due to realizing that, as Golden said, people are people...and most importantly that I needed to be the same person in the SC that I was/am everywhere else.

To answer the actual question, allude to Golden's last line, and tie all this in...I like dancing myself. I was in a troupe in undergrad, so optimal dances for me involve the girl and me dancing together as opposed to her just dancing for me. If a girl understands that - and especially if she likes it and goes along - there's going to be a serious exchange of cash.

slowpoke
05-12-2014, 02:53 PM
A long time ago I used to spend a LOT of money on girls online - probably way too much. Somehow I thought that it would help the girl - not buy her affection. However, as time has progressed, I have realized that giving these girls money, even just to chat with me, is not worth it.

What?

You are purchasing entertainment from an independent businessperson.

You are not running a charity.

If the utility of the entertainment is not equal to the price, do not purchase the entertainment.

rickdugan
05-12-2014, 03:31 PM
^ i think it really depends. some guys really DO want to be sold a fantasy, and a smart stripper will understand that. different approach for every guy, no two are the same.

Fair enough simone - your point is well taken. I can imagine that some guys go in seeking a "fantasy" and I must admit that my last comments reflect my own preferences and prejudices.

I guess my knee jerk reactions comes from meeting a fair number of strippers each year, usually newer ones, who have only one sales mode, which is that silly fantasy angle. They may not always use the word (though some do), but it is not hard to identify those who believe that they are selling me a fantasy. They use the same types of canned lines, the same insincere compliments and the same pseudo-perky type of voice. Some of them even go so far as to ask probing questions about my marital status, except that, unlike the savvier girls who rightly assume that I am married, these ones tend to assume that their targets, including myself, are single and lonely.

But anyway, to each his own I suppose. :)

yoda57us
05-12-2014, 04:54 PM
Everyone doesn't define "fantasy" the same way. For some guys the real fantasy may occur later that night, after they get home from the strip club, while they are having sex with their wife...

lestat1
05-16-2014, 04:06 PM
If I'm attracted to her (which is most of the time), if she's nice to me (uncommon), and if I think she will give me the kind of dances I like, then I spend money on her. Most of the time it's just "hi, wanna dance?" with no time spent on fantasy, finding out what I like, chatting with me, or in any way improving my mood.

Golden_Rule
05-17-2014, 01:15 AM
Of course some people are out of your league. Seriously, we aren't all George Clooney. Part of the fantasy being sold by strip clubs is that really hot women, who would normally not give you the time of day, are actually interested in you.

And no, that sort of fantasy is not unhealthy. Indeed, what's unhealthy are the guys who don't understand that it is a fantasy and think the girls are actually interested in them and not their money.


If I went to a strip club because I needed a fantasy, I would stop going just out of sheer self disgust. Seriously dude. I go to be entertained, whatever form that takes. Period.

Now having said that, could I bag a hot 23 year old girl in a bar now? Maybe if I was still 23, but not now, or at least my odds aren't very good, and I am fine with that. I don't go into a strip joint wishing to believe otherwise - I just go in for fun, including a little edgy entertainment. That "I'm selling the fantasy" nonsense is what weaker minded strippers need to believe to make themselves feel good about their jobs. The stronger girls, on the other hand, understand that the term "entertainer" actually includes a need to...well...entertain.

See the difference now?

The fact that you have a low probability of "scoring" with a hot 23 year old at a bar isn't because she is "out of your league", but that there is a mismatch in your compatibility factors.

"Out of your league" implies a negative. There is nothing negative about not being compatible. I wouldn't want a 23 year old girl-friend. Not on a bet. We'd have totally different ideas about how the world works. Likely have totally different world views. She wouldn't be anywhere near as experienced as I, nor would she likely be as well off. We wouldn't be compatible. Yet that has nothing to do with whether she is better than I, or I better than her.

We can be incompatible and still be in each other's "league".

If you are confident without being arrogant, interesting to be around without being demanding about the attention you require... cool, calm and collected you can be in anyone's league. :)

Of course, that is the trick isn't it? I'll let you know if I ever make it there. :)

KikiGem
10-16-2014, 07:31 PM
If I went to a strip club because I needed a fantasy, I would stop going just out of sheer self disgust. Seriously dude. I go to be entertained, whatever form that takes. Period.

Now having said that, could I bag a hot 23 year old girl in a bar now? Maybe if I was still 23, but not now, or at least my odds aren't very good, and I am fine with that. I don't go into a strip joint wishing to believe otherwise - I just go in for fun, including a little edgy entertainment. That "I'm selling the fantasy" nonsense is what weaker minded strippers need to believe to make themselves feel good about their jobs. The stronger girls, on the other hand, understand that the term "entertainer" actually includes a need to...well...entertain.

See the difference now?

There are so many things wrong with this thread and no guy has really taken the time to answer the question.

I don't know where you get off saying that a girl who knows she is a fantasy to many men is in some way 'weak-minded' or that ANY of us need a reason to 'feel better' about what we do. Jesus, how in the hell would you know anyway? What do you know about being a dancer?

The male ego is so amusing...

ImmoralAllure
10-16-2014, 08:38 PM
deleted

Golden_Rule
10-21-2014, 06:03 PM
I truly value the customers business and in exchange I give them 110% effort of the perfect lapdance combined with the fantasy that I may be into them (in another lifetime) - talking about their strengths etc.



The "into me thing" most often entertains me in ways the dancer wasn't intending. Something akin to a "Plan 9 From Outer Space" sort of thing.

Tourdefranzia
02-13-2015, 01:37 PM
I wanted to place this question in a section devoted to devotees of webcam girls, but I suppose that this would work too. A long time ago I used to spend a LOT of money on girls online - probably way too much. Somehow I thought that it would help the girl - not buy her affection. However, as time has progressed, I have realized that giving these girls money, even just to chat with me, is not worth it.

Because of this, I wanted to ask you guys - what motivated you from being a lurker to being a paying customer? Do you really think it's worth that money?

I know that the OP is long gone. I just wanted to point out that as a stripper I am aware that I am selling my customers an experience. If their desired experience is that of a white knight, then that is the feeling that he has paid to achieve. Maybe the stripper understands what he wants, maybe not. The only reason why anyone goes to a strip club is to change their mental state. They may not be pleased with the change, but ultimately that is why they went. If their mental state did not change sufficiently they feel like they wasted their money.

Obviously, the cam model did not give this customer the emotional satisfaction he was seeking. He wanted to be her hero and she was operating on a business-as-usual model. He found the encounter unsatisfying and a waste of money.

Sometimes I feel like to be a top earning stripper a girl has to be a little bit psychic.

salzsieder67
02-15-2015, 07:23 AM
The only reason why anyone goes to a strip club is to change their mental state.
Sometimes I feel like to be a top earning stripper a girl has to be a little bit psychic.
Personally I will disagree with the first statement, but that is why I would agree with the second.

rickdugan
02-15-2015, 08:21 AM
There are so many things wrong with this thread and no guy has really taken the time to answer the question.

I don't know where you get off saying that a girl who knows she is a fantasy to many men is in some way 'weak-minded' or that ANY of us need a reason to 'feel better' about what we do. Jesus, how in the hell would you know anyway? What do you know about being a dancer?

The male ego is so amusing...

LOL. Well, I will at least agree that no guy has really taken the time to answer the question, so I will take a shot. In fact, I'm going to be more candid than I normally am around here.

I visit clubs in order to have edgy fun with a variety of women. I am married and it is the safest way for me to play around without other potential complications. In fact, the sad reality is that my strip club attendance is usually a lot higher when I am in committed relationships, including during the last decade now, since it is the only way that I can safely spread my fun out. Having mistresses and side girlfriends is messy and unfair for all involved, so I find what I need with strippers. And by "fun" I mean everything from simple flirty banter with an entertaining girl up to and including sex.

To be clear, that doesn't mean that I only pay girls who agree to p4p. Far from it. A girl who is very attractive and entertaining can usually earn from me if she is willing to take the time to do so. But of course my trifecta, and the type of girl who earns real money from me in a given year, is the one who has both of these qualities AND also engages in p4p OTC with me. My last two bona fide club favorites each lasted a year and each earned well from me over that time.

I'm sure many girls won't like an answer like this, but this is the simple unvarnished truth. I'm guessing that many other guys also have a variety of answers that dancers would prefer not to hear, which is why this thread has contained mostly the sound of crickets from the blue side. ;)

FasaCorp
02-15-2015, 08:52 AM
My little head makes me do it as well, but seriously, here's why:
The idea of a dangerous, mysterious femme fatale has always gotten my blood to boil ever since my teens. Why did I develop these feelings? Who knows. I've done the escort thing, and it was fun for a while, but it just wasn't the same experience (also escorts in my neck of the woods tend to be much less attractive than dancers). It just felt too awkward and "mechanical". In a club, and especially in a VIP booth, with music blaring and the atmosphere, I can let a dancer annihilate my wallet :heartbeat

salzsieder67
02-15-2015, 10:03 AM
I think the lack of answers from the blue side is not just the unwillingness to post the unvarnished truth. Part of it is almost certainly the fact of trying to quantify something that is very subjective. In my case the reasons why I will spend money on one dancer over another can vary from visit to visit. OTC, P4P, or extras don't factor in for me as that is not my thing. I don't have a single hard and fast rule about which dancer gets my money. The most common denominator for me is dancing ability. The dancer that is mostly likely to pique my interest is one that can truly dance not just sway, butt clap, or slide their hand along their crotch. A dancer with a good pole routine will always get me thinking about paying for some dances and/or VIP. However that is not always the case. Many it times it has just happened to be the right dancer at the right moment. At my local I have gotten dances from 7 or 8 of the different dancers, and each one was for a different reason. Although the two I have gotten the most dances from are the two that have pole routines, and the one is really good. I sometimes wonder why she hasn't moved on to a more lucrative market.

gameover
02-15-2015, 11:13 AM
I know that the OP is long gone. I just wanted to point out that as a stripper I am aware that I am selling my customers an experience. If their desired experience is that of a white knight, then that is the feeling that he has paid to achieve. Maybe the stripper understands what he wants, maybe not. The only reason why anyone goes to a strip club is to change their mental state. They may not be pleased with the change, but ultimately that is why they went. If their mental state did not change sufficiently they feel like they wasted their money.

Obviously, the cam model did not give this customer the emotional satisfaction he was seeking. He wanted to be her hero and she was operating on a business-as-usual model. He found the encounter unsatisfying and a waste of money.

Sometimes I feel like to be a top earning stripper a girl has to be a little bit psychic.

Wow, I didn't think dancers actually looked on this side.

But since you asked, I'll pass along what works for me.

The first thing is a dancer's type. Every guy has a type. Some guys like fake boobs. Personally, I hate them, and very rarely get dances from dancers with them, unless they have a great personality or I feel some attraction in spite of the boobs.

I prefer fit, petite dancers with natural breasts. B cups are probably my favorite, but larger or smaller is fine as long as they are natural. I also like nice legs and butt. Some petite women have no butt, but it's nicer when they do.

I probably prefer mid-20's, but younger or older is fine, and age isn't really a big factor for me. Overweight is a big turn off though.

A sexy outfit helps. I'm personally a sucker for thigh-high stockings, but nice bare legs are also good. But, please, don't wear those goofy furry leg warmer things.

I don't really like tattoos. A few small ones are okay, and I have to admit, I've grown to like tramp stamps. But if you are covered with tattoos, I'm probably not your customer

Hair color is not a big deal to me, as long as it looks good on you. I've seen darker complected girls go blond, and it just looks off to me. Pick a color that fits your appearance. I think it is a mistake to always go blond. A lot of my ATF's have been brunettes.

The closer you are to that description, the easier it will be to sell the first dance.

Another thing is how you act on stage. If you look like you are having fun on stage, that makes a huge impression on me. If you look bored, I am unlikely to buy a dance from you, even if you exactly matched my physical ideal. I usually never buy a dance from a dancer until I've seen how she dances on stage.

The next thing is personality. "Wanna dance?" always gets a no from me. If a dancer is fun to be around, she's probably golden at this point, from me spending.

Which brings me to the last item. Sexual chemistry during the dance. I'm not talking about any extras here. Just the sexiness of the dance. I don't know if it's pheromones or what. I really have no idea what this "factor" is. It's not contact level, and I've experienced it with younger and older dancers, prettier and average dancers. I know this description is nebulous, and probably not that helpful, but it is an important factor. It's just one that I can't quantify.

I'm not looking to date a dancer, or be a white knight. I'm not deluded enough to believe that a hot 25yo dancer wants to date an older guy (but I have spent some mutually beneficial time OTC with some of my ATFs).

Some things will be outside your control, as different guys are attracted to different types of women. But some of the items I mentioned are, especially the stage and "wanna dance" items. Hope that helps.

Redwolf
02-16-2015, 03:41 AM
I agree with Rick that it can be fun entertainment. It can be a relaxing, enjoyable evening or unusual break during the day.

One of the things that is attractive to me is the unknown in a SC visit. Will I meet a fun, new (to me) dancer? Will I have a good time with a favorite? Will I end up staying until closing or leave after a couple of hours? Will the atmosphere be energetic and fun with great music, girls dancing, guys getting dances, and everyone drinking? Will she be blonde or brunette or will there be several, maybe both? Will I give her money for spending time with me and having great conversation, will I get some hot dances, or both?

I like favorites, but I also like meeting new girls. A essential part of the attraction to me in a SC visit is the unknown.

AmyLynne
03-01-2015, 01:40 PM
If we didn't come to this side to see the other perspective we wouldn't be doing our jobs. I learn a lot by coming over to blue once in awhile!

Cheo_D
03-01-2015, 07:20 PM
Another thing is how you act on stage. If you look like you are having fun on stage, that makes a huge impression on me. If you look bored, I am unlikely to buy a dance from you, even if you exactly matched my physical ideal. I usually never buy a dance from a dancer until I've seen how she dances on stage.

The next thing is personality. "Wanna dance?" always gets a no from me. If a dancer is fun to be around, she's probably golden at this point, from me spending.

Which brings me to the last item. Sexual chemistry during the dance. I'm not talking about any extras here. Just the sexiness of the dance. I don't know if it's pheromones or what. I really have no idea what this "factor" is. It's not contact level, and I've experienced it with younger and older dancers, prettier and average dancers. I know this description is nebulous, and probably not that helpful, but it is an important factor. It's just one that I can't quantify.

I'm not looking to date a dancer, or be a white knight. I'm not deluded enough to believe that a hot 25yo dancer wants to date an older guy (but I have spent some mutually beneficial time OTC with some of my ATFs).
Well put, there is in fact a factor of "chemistry", of "clicking" that just happens, but for it to get to the point where that can happen, the dancer and I need to get to where I can say "it would be fun to be with her a while longer, enough to spend money for it". Some times especially if I've spotted her at a very good stage set, she can have me down for the count right at her opening line when she gets back to me. Sometimes it will be the smalltalk itself that makes me want to spend more time -- and therefore more ca$h -- on her and sometimes it will be the initial dances (which is BTW why I normally pass on the dancers who say "I do VIP only"). Of course, all that is something that is not really in the dancer's control and sometimes hr best effort fails to move me, and I'm sorry when that is so, not her fault, it just is not happenning that night.

As for the entertainment/fantasy factor, well, from the guy POV being in an environment where it is I who can just sit there, and be the one approached with come-ons, is itself a refreshing variation, even if I know it's for show, heck, especially because I know it's for show and I don't have to wonder.

threlayer
03-06-2015, 11:25 AM
Attractive, interesting, fun - one that I could be friends with, somewhat, in the club. There needs to be some sort of erotic fun in the club. But she doesn't have to try to make me think I'll get some sort of sexual activity from her.

Cowboy12
03-07-2015, 05:48 AM
I will spend money on a dancer even if she is not my preferred type. As long as she has a nice, friendly personality, and is reasonably fit.
I avoid the dancers who constantly push for a dance, just very annoying.
Don't get me wrong, I won't waste your time, just take a minute or two for introduction and a short chat.
On my last club visit, the dancer that set with me kept talking forever, I had to ask her for a dance!
She is now one of my favorites.
Basically, the dancer just has to have a friendly approach.

Ike Turner
03-18-2015, 11:20 AM
She has to be young, skinny, and willing to extras on the cheap.