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anonymous camgirl
09-09-2014, 01:52 PM
Being an ADULT SUCKS!


38893:-\

JaneBurgess
09-09-2014, 03:57 PM
Yes. An ear infection, a sinus infection, migraines, etc.



^^An ear infection can cause that, right?

JaneBurgess
09-09-2014, 04:00 PM
Have you seen a doctor for these? There are some medications that can help.



I just had a nauseous episode, i felt very dizzy all of a sudden w.o any apparent reason, i get these now and then, from easy to medium to heavy ones where i feel like the whole room is rotating & i am going to fall off my legs. Just now it was a less severe one but still, i got scared cause i never know why it's happening. I also dont know what to do in this situation, i took an aspirin and feel better but still not okay, i need to work tonite, is getting late here and i need to get ready for work. What to do now to get better, pls help me! I am home alone, i need a bath, i am afraid to get in bathtub and bend my head and wash my hair but i cant work without bathing, i am scared it will happen again & might loose balance & fall :(

AliceFun
09-09-2014, 09:14 PM
Hi ladies & thank you for answering, i had to switch everything off & get rest, i did not bath or work but slept all night. I forgot to mention i have motion sickness since i know myself (car, plane, some elevators, everything that is moving), even when i work & turn around too quickly or if i get up the bed too quickly, etc but these nauseous episodes that start without a clear reason are most scary cause i dont know what triggers them.
I know my internal ear is 'built wrong' therefore the motion sickness but what causes these episodes when i sit still, i have no idea, i was online reading & posting here on SW :).
Sometimes can be the 1st sign of a cold, sometimes nothing else follows them. I must say i feel pretty weak after my heavy period or maybe i caught a draft or so!? Or maybe the food... not sure but i feel a little pressure in my left ear even now and in my head, i feel somehow 'blurred' today. Will rest some more, go buy me some vitamins, ask the pharmacist about something to help (no medical insurance here) & work when i am fit. In these moments i am happy to work for myself at home, thank god for this option! Hugs everyone & many thanks!

Glamourmilf
09-10-2014, 11:06 AM
38906

ashley jane
09-10-2014, 07:22 PM
No idea what brand I got...probably the cheapest one because that's what I do. But I bought mine in store, so you might want to go at least mid-range since it is easier to sell crap online. If you end up getting one you'll have to let me know how it works for you!

Got a mouth guard tonight will be the first night with it. I went to Rite Aid last week and didn't see any that one sucks but only drug store that's near me. I ended up buying one from Amazon but it's one I saw on Rite Aid, Walmart, CVS site and I got it from that brands page. I have an over bite so I had to use my fingers to mold that part so it's not up as high and it's a little lose. I'm sitting here with it in now and with my mouth relaxed it's in place so don't think it's gonna be a problem.

lynn2009
09-11-2014, 05:35 AM
Got a mouth guard tonight will be the first night with it. I went to Rite Aid last week and didn't see any that one sucks but only drug store that's near me. I ended up buying one from Amazon but it's one I saw on Rite Aid, Walmart, CVS site and I got it from that brands page. I have an over bite so I had to use my fingers to mold that part so it's not up as high and it's a little lose. I'm sitting here with it in now and with my mouth relaxed it's in place so don't think it's gonna be a problem.

Did it seem to help?

ExoticBeauty4U
09-11-2014, 07:19 AM
I suppose I will join, ive been stuck the last past 3 weeks constantly being around people( visiting family) . I cant work so mind just goes crazy, I HAVE to stay busy. While this may not bother many. For me its very draining and stressing, being that im introverted and routine like. My migraine that i had for which seemed like days finally went away. Ive been eating crappy to deal with it so im sure i gained weight which freaks me out even more and although Im leaving the 15th it cant get here quick enough. Then when I take off too long from working the first couple days of returning to camming always start off slow and i get frustrated ughhhh feels good to get this all off my chest.

anonymous camgirl
09-11-2014, 07:34 AM
I hear magnesium citrate is GREAT for migraines.. I dunno if you know this or not.. to much gives you diahrrea though haha.. which is worse?..lol

ExoticBeauty4U
09-11-2014, 07:40 AM
I will definitely try it if it comes back hell im always bloated so me having diahrrea wouldnt be such a bad thing lol, where do yout get it? I kept popping advils which i try to stay away from and they did absolutely nothing

anonymous camgirl
09-11-2014, 08:24 AM
I think you can get it at the grocery store.. it also comes in liquid form or powder.. the liquid is lemon or cherry unless they have new ones.. I used to take it all the time doing liver flushes.

justanothercamgirl
09-11-2014, 08:51 AM
I am so damn tired today. I know I need to work but it is just so hard to motivate myself to get on cam.

I have an inner ear infection that I am on antibiotic drops for. It really isn't helping me feel the sexy today.

http://media.giphy.com/media/Fg0VVzuxz7fc4/giphy.gif

ThatMara
09-11-2014, 09:02 AM
^^what are posture belts? I will try anything at this point! And the winter cold weather season isn't even here yet!
I just saw the ad for 'icy hot' back pain reliever patch(the pulsing module ones).
I can stand any smell if it works.
I've been camming today with a new lumbar pillow, but if feels so unnatural.
It figures my 2nd exclusive wanted a boob show, and to try on all kinds of un comfy pushup/wire bras.

If the wires aren't comfy, then the bra is either the wrong size or shape for you, which is unfortunately all too common. People seem to think that D/DD boobs are huge, and they really aren't. Most people would clock me at a "36DD/DDD". I really wear a (UK) 32GG, which actually isn't super duper huge, see for yourself: http://www.brabandproject.com/gallery/search?band=32&cup=GG&age=&brand=&sister_sizes=0&search=Search

If you're interested, www.reddit.com/r/abrathatfits is a great resource. In the sidebar they have guides for self measuring, figuring out your shape, figuring out which bra models are likely to work for your shape, etc.

It's still totally possible to get awesome cleavage in a well-fitting bra, especially if you're narrow enough for Ewa Michalak or Comexim and as a plus, they'll still be comfy. Even if it won't work for cam, wearing a properly fitting bra in your down time should help with any back/neck/shoulder pain.

justanothercamgirl
09-11-2014, 09:43 AM
I am herxing way too bad today, looks like no cam for me today despite my best intentions.

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/f1/2f/e5/f12fe5a9197e8ae4be965ab850315050.jpg

Whoregeous
09-11-2014, 09:59 AM
The pic doesn't apply to your sense of humor, sis ;D

I am herxing way too bad today, looks like no cam for me today
despite my best intentions.

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/f1/2f/e5/f12fe5a9197e8ae4be965ab850315050.jpg

ashley jane
09-11-2014, 10:08 AM
I think my jaw hurts from sinus infection or some other infection. It's not really in my teeth it's more in my gums and my gram has confirmed my glands are swollen under my jaw. I take benedryl and it helps. Now along with my ear, gums and cheek pain my throats a little sore. So doing ice and heat. Hoping it's just sinus and not something a lot worse. I read sinus infection can cause teeth pain. I love diagnosing myself lol. Yay for no insurance to have a dr.

anonymous camgirl
09-11-2014, 11:19 AM
so how is your liver?? that could be a great cause of making you tired...a lot of things could be really.. most of my life I have always been a TIRED person.. no matter what .. just always tired .. then I started cleansing like a maniac.. and I had so much energy all the time.. and if I feel like shit I go right back to cleansing like a maniac again.


I am so damn tired today. I know I need to work but it is just so hard to motivate myself to get on cam.

I have an inner ear infection that I am on antibiotic drops for. It really isn't helping me feel the sexy today.

http://media.giphy.com/media/Fg0VVzuxz7fc4/giphy.gif

justanothercamgirl
09-11-2014, 11:35 AM
so how is your liver?? that could be a great cause of making you tired...a lot of things could be really.. most of my life I have always been a TIRED person.. no matter what .. just always tired .. then I started cleansing like a maniac.. and I had so much energy all the time.. and if I feel like shit I go right back to cleansing like a maniac again.

Currently I have an middle ear infection that is making me more extra tired that I usually am. Because I just started antibiotics for it yesterday I am experiencing the Jarisch-Herxheimer reaction.

It really sucks. :/

SweetLilyRaven
09-11-2014, 01:47 PM
So I recovered from that two week long stomach bug only to get hit with another eye infection. That's just cleared up in the last few days, and I managed to pull out a $100 day on Tuesday during the day. It's not a lot by most of your standards, but it's BIG for me. I've been working the PSO lines every day this week and it's been bringing in $10-$20 a day, which has definitely added up.
All of that is good, since earning money puts me in a good place, emotionally. I'm going to need it because I can already feel the PMS hormonal shift starting, topped off by some added stressors in my life. My hubby is starting to come down with a cold, and my boyfriend is leaving on a business trip in Wales for a week, which means no Skype calls and limited contact.

Normally, these things put me in a negative mindset and exacerbate my depression symptoms…but this time around, I'm trying to be very mindful of how I'm feeling and to try to counteract the depressive feelings with extra self-care - I'm even doing something special for myself by knitting myself some beautiful fingerless mitts modeled after my favorite literary character from the Outlander series. It's the first time I've ever made something JUST for myself, and I love how special it makes me feel. It's silly, but so far, it's working. I'm hoping to motivate myself to get on cam tonight by telling myself that if I do work tonight, I'll be able to get more yarn for another pair of mitts in a slate grey to match my eyes...

anoncamgirl
09-11-2014, 08:44 PM
Sometimes I wish I didn't have anxiety. Today I'm miserable. I only did two shows because I feel so terrible. How am I supposed to Dominate people when all I wanna do is cry?! Fortunately I made over my week minimum in two days, so I'm not that worried. I just feel ashamed because I've only been working 4 hours day, according to my spreadsheet...

Today it's my fault, however. It's normally not this bad, but I put some coffee in the refrigerator overnight. I knew it made the caffeine more potent, but I didn't realize it made an espresso from hell. I guess that caffeine was just really potent because I was actually shaking from drinking it. I cannot keep my hands still. As some people may know, anxiety attacks are often triggered by caffeine. I can handle up to one cup of coffee, but anything more than that makes me extremely upset. It took me years to figure out the dose of caffeine I can handle. Gah.

Being logical only does so much. I understand that it's just a rush of chemicals on a very deep level. However, it doesn't help when I really feel like the world is ending! Shit.

The bright side:

I did log in today. I didn't just give up without trying!
I did make money.
I learned a valuable lesson about my caffeine tolerance.
I'm already at my weekly goal, so anything I made after Monday was just extra money.


I also understand that I am useless without my daily meditation. I have spreadsheets, I have hard data which supports that I cannot skip a lot of meditation without my earnings plummeting. I have a gameplan though!

Tomorrow I'm going to set an alarm. No oversleeping, I am going to wake up at 3:00-3:30pm.
I'm going to drink a very small cup of coffee (or big cup of tea) like I always do.
I'm going to do my makeup and take a photoset for a few hours.
I'm going to log in at ~6:00pm-7:00pm and make some money! I plan on making my usual. maybe some extra if I'm feeling up to it.
I will log off at ~12:00.

I have a gameplan, I know that I will be be fine. I know I have made enough money for the week. It does suck having panic attacks and logging out with $48, but at least I gave today a shot!

JaneBurgess
09-11-2014, 08:50 PM
Thats why I gave up all caffeine, the anxiety/panic attacks just arent worth it to me. I miss coffee, Pepsi and Dr Pepper and all the other yummy things with caffeine.

You can do all the things you listed, I know you can.




Sometimes I wish I didn't have anxiety. Today I'm miserable. I only did two shows because I feel so terrible. How am I supposed to Dominate people when all I wanna do is cry?! Fortunately I made over my week minimum in two days, so I'm not that worried. I just feel ashamed because I've only been working 4 hours day, according to my spreadsheet...

Today it's my fault, however. It's normally not this bad, but I put some coffee in the refrigerator overnight. I knew it made the caffeine more potent, but I didn't realize it made an espresso from hell. I guess that caffeine was just really potent because I was actually shaking from drinking it. I cannot keep my hands still. As some people may know, anxiety attacks are often triggered by caffeine. I can handle up to one cup of coffee, but anything more than that makes me extremely upset. It took me years to figure out the dose of caffeine I can handle. Gah.

Being logical only does so much. I understand that it's just a rush of chemicals on a very deep level. However, it doesn't help when I really feel like the world is ending! Shit.

The bright side:

I did log in today. I didn't just give up without trying!
I did make money.
I learned a valuable lesson about my caffeine tolerance.
I'm already at my weekly goal, so anything I made after Monday was just extra money.


I also understand that I am useless without my daily meditation. I have spreadsheets, I have hard data which supports that I cannot skip a lot of meditation without my earnings plummeting. I have a gameplan though!

Tomorrow I'm going to set an alarm. No oversleeping, I am going to wake up at 3:00-3:30pm.
I'm going to drink a very small cup of coffee (or big cup of tea) like I always do.
I'm going to do my makeup and take a photoset for a few hours.
I'm going to log in at ~6:00pm-7:00pm and make some money! I plan on making my usual. maybe some extra if I'm feeling up to it.
I will log off at ~12:00.

I have a gameplan, I know that I will be be fine. I know I have made enough money for the week. It does suck having panic attacks and logging out with $48, but at least I gave today a shot!

anoncamgirl
09-11-2014, 08:54 PM
Thats why I gave up all caffeine, the anxiety/panic attacks just arent worth it to me. I miss coffee, Pepsi and Dr Pepper and all the other yummy things with caffeine.

You can do all the things you listed, I know you can.

I don't blame you. I know it heavily depends on the person, a lot of people with anxiety have to cut it out completely. You have to do what's right for your own health. Personally, a little bit of caffeine in the morning helps me a lot more than it harms me. It's certainly not for everyone, though. Mistakes like mine can happen and it does trigger anxiety attacks if you aren't careful or your body/mind isn't suited for it!

I'm very fortunate that my anxiety is on a manageable level. Two years ago I was still in High School and would run to the bathroom for my hourly anxiety attack. It was seriously about six times a day. It normally took me about ten minutes to cry it out. Thank goodness I've gotten past it so it only happens a couple times a month now! Sometimes it happens once every three, it's incredible.

And I'm sure I can, too. It's just one bad day, it's not the end of the world. I can feel it, tomorrow is going to be great. :D I'm actually excited for it.

anonymous camgirl
09-12-2014, 02:46 AM
Alcohol also gives you anxiety the next day.. Like I went to dinner had 3 glasses of wine and the next day I felt nothing but a lot of anxiety, depressed and more stressed .. I quit drinking except when I go out to dinner.. I notice a BIG difference.. coffee?? I drink 7cups a day give or take.. love it I don't have trouble with it these days.

AliceFun
09-12-2014, 04:34 AM
^^^ 7 cups??!! Is not a typo mistake? What coffee is that, how strong? I drink 2 cups, medium strong ground coffee & if i drink the 3rd then i have problems falling asleep. I saw people drinking 'coffee', it was like a small instant coffee spoon mixed with plenty of water, tasted like piss by the way, bleah. That's how some brits drink the coffee lol. I hate the tea btw :)
On a positive note i feel good again today, yesterday i was still feeling weak and was sweating but now i am fine, thank god! So my nauseous episode from few days ago was the 1st symptom of a cold, this time.

justanothercamgirl
09-12-2014, 05:20 AM
http://media.giphy.com/media/w9IpQ58yRjteM/giphy.gif

anonymous camgirl
09-12-2014, 05:30 AM
7 Cups according to the coffee pot measurements.. I don't think it's a lot.. I used to drink an entire pot but that was a decade ago...LOL


^^^ 7 cups??!! Is not a typo mistake? What coffee is that, how strong? I drink 2 cups, medium strong ground coffee & if i drink the 3rd then i have problems falling asleep. I saw people drinking 'coffee', it was like a small instant coffee spoon mixed with plenty of water, tasted like piss by the way, bleah. That's how some brits drink the coffee lol. I hate the tea btw :)
On a positive note i feel good again today, yesterday i was still feeling weak and was sweating but now i am fine, thank god! So my nauseous episode from few days ago was the 1st symptom of a cold, this time.

anonymous camgirl
09-12-2014, 05:33 AM
Eating cat food and living in a trailer when I retire is all the motivation I need...lol... doesn't the past due bills motivate you?? what drives you?.. I hate being poor.. and I am poor enough as it is but a different kind of poor.. I used to be super poor before cam.. I used to make 9.50 an hour plus 556 in child support .. supporting 2 kids by myself.. that's pretty poor..


http://media.giphy.com/media/w9IpQ58yRjteM/giphy.gif

justanothercamgirl
09-12-2014, 05:55 AM
Eating cat food and living in a trailer when I retire is all the motivation I need...lol... doesn't the past due bills motivate you?? what drives you?.. I hate being poor.. and I am poor enough as it is but a different kind of poor.. I used to be super poor before cam.. I used to make 9.50 an hour plus 556 in child support .. supporting 2 kids by myself.. that's pretty poor..

I am still really sick today. It is really messing with my motivation. :(

AliceFun
09-12-2014, 06:11 AM
7 Cups according to the coffee pot measurements.. I don't think it's a lot.. I used to drink an entire pot but that was a decade ago...LOL

Forgive my ignorance but i dont understand ur measurement system there, when i read cups i understand a standard cup full of liquid made coffee, so u drink 7 of that a day. Dont know how big a pot is either lol, not ur fault i am not familiar with the measurement system. Anyway, go for whatever makes u happy love :)

AliceFun
09-12-2014, 06:20 AM
I am really sorry JAC, i wish to read from u one day that u also feel good, are u suffering from a chronic disease that makes u this tired & sick or maybe the mental is playing a role into this too? I dont know you so i speculate but it makes me sad to read how sick u are most times. Hugs!

anonymous camgirl
09-12-2014, 06:24 AM
I believe 1 cup is 6 oz.. whatever that converts to in your country.


Forgive my ignorance but i dont understand ur measurement system there, when i read cups i understand a standard cup full of liquid made coffee, so u drink 7 of that a day. Dont know how big a pot is either lol, not ur fault i am not familiar with the measurement system. Anyway, go for whatever makes u happy love :)

justanothercamgirl
09-12-2014, 10:11 AM
I am really sorry JAC, i wish to read from u one day that u also feel good, are u suffering from a chronic disease that makes u this tired & sick or maybe the mental is playing a role into this too? I dont know you so i speculate but it makes me sad to read how sick u are most times. Hugs!

I am not going to lie. It is really hard for me these days to stay my hopeful and optimistic self. Soul-crushingly hard. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning and open my eyes my first thought is, "I didn't die in my sleep, fuck!"

But since I've got you and all the other bbs here for support it makes it easier to just try and take it day by day.

We gotta do the best we can with what we got, right?

http://media.giphy.com/media/YxwgaXTPQCZxu/giphy.gif

P.S. I do have a chronic disease that I battle with daily. Sadly, I actually have more than one of them. I just don't talk about 'it' a lot because I don't want to say publicly what it is I have. <3

anonymous camgirl
09-12-2014, 10:56 AM
I know how you feel, I feel sad ALL THE TIME and it's never ending.. even when I feel normal.. life feels stuck and shitty to me and I wonder if it will ever get better or good or anything.. 42 yrs of this shitty life is enough to me.. I have NEVER felt anything but suffering, sacrifice, deprivation and complete sadness and the older I get the worse I feel .. and hopeless..


I am not going to lie. It is really hard for me these days to stay my hopeful and optimistic self. Soul-crushingly hard. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning and open my eyes my first thought is, "I didn't die in my sleep, fuck!"

But since I've got you and all the other bbs here for support it makes it easier to just try and take it day by day.

We gotta do the best we can with what we got, right?

http://media.giphy.com/media/YxwgaXTPQCZxu/giphy.gif

P.S. I do have a chronic disease that I battle with daily. Sadly, I actually have more than one of them. I just don't talk about 'it' a lot because I don't want to say publicly what it is I have. <3

SoloDesire
09-12-2014, 11:10 AM
I am not going to lie. It is really hard for me these days to stay my hopeful and optimistic self. Soul-crushingly hard. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning and open my eyes my first thought is, "I didn't die in my sleep, fuck!"

But since I've got you and all the other bbs here for support it makes it easier to just try and take it day by day.

We gotta do the best we can with what we got, right?

P.S. I do have a chronic disease that I battle with daily. Sadly, I actually have more than one of them. I just don't talk about 'it' a lot because I don't want to say publicly what it is I have. <3


I know how you feel, I feel sad ALL THE TIME and it's never ending.. even when I feel normal.. life feels stuck and shitty to me and I wonder if it will ever get better or good or anything.. 42 yrs of this shitty life is enough to me.. I have NEVER felt anything but suffering, sacrifice, deprivation and complete sadness and the older I get the worse I feel .. and hopeless..


Awww bb's!!! I wish I could hug you both <3

38933

AliceFun
09-12-2014, 12:48 PM
Thank u for answering JAC, i hope i was not too intrusive with my question but i wanted to understand what u deal with, i am soo sorry, the only way i can help is wishing u the very best & sending u positive vibes thru the universe. I have a lady friend who has a nasty degenerative syndrome so i know from her how her days are, mostly difficult, very few when she feels good. She told me something similar on the phone on sunday when i called (she lives in another city), made me cringe, i'll visit her when she comes to hospital here in the capital in october, she is a great person.

Anonimous, i know from experience how feeling very unhappy can trigger the body to get sick too, a doctor told me years ago "ur problem is in fact the soul being sick, once u heal ur soul ur body will follow". Lots of health to everyone, Hugs!

anoncamgirl
09-12-2014, 01:38 PM
I am not going to lie. It is really hard for me these days to stay my hopeful and optimistic self. Soul-crushingly hard. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning and open my eyes my first thought is, "I didn't die in my sleep, fuck!"

But since I've got you and all the other bbs here for support it makes it easier to just try and take it day by day.

We gotta do the best we can with what we got, right?

P.S. I do have a chronic disease that I battle with daily. Sadly, I actually have more than one of them. I just don't talk about 'it' a lot because I don't want to say publicly what it is I have. <3

If you're actually hoping to die, you could be suicidal or depressed.

You have to change something in your heart to fix your motivation. At the very least you need to get on some medicine. Make your life easier and make some money.

Lastly, if your illnesses are actually that bad and you cannot get a regular job, you should consider going on disability. The government will help you, and there is a safety net in place for people like you.

anonymous camgirl
09-12-2014, 04:19 PM
^^ I think you are taking it out of context.. I feel the same way as JAC.. everyday I wake up and think why the fuck am I still alive!.. one time I had costochondritis and pleurisy went to the ER.. I was hoping I would have lung cancer and be done with it.. even told the doctor that.. You don't understand such misery obviously.... I get what she is saying.. I feel the same way.. every day is just crap .. and you are just stuck in a hole of nothingness day and day out and you wonder if you will ever get out of it.. I think that she doesn't need suicidal advise.. I think you're approach is not correct. You are NOT understanding what she is going through... sorry but whenever I say I don't want to live I have to listen to such crap like this.. Just shrugged off to some govt or counselor that will make my life worth living...LOL.. I do not think she was looking for that.. I think she is looking for a listening ear, supportive, someone she can relate to. Someone who relates to her.. ya know?

AliceFun
09-12-2014, 04:48 PM
Only when u have lived certain experiences or have people around you living these experiences u can truly understand what it actually means, in general very sick people face depression & dark thoughts, does not actually mean they suicidal but is almost normal to think like this when u dont see an exit out of ur pain/situation.
My mom is very sick & i saw how depressed she was 2 years ago, crying often & thinking of death, etc, i took her to the doctor and she got treatment for depression, now she is okay regarding her mind state. Dont ask me how many times i went to bed with dark thoughts or woke up the same, i can fully understand somebody who suffers a lot.
Luckily i just found a way out of this mind state but believe me it took many years to find the right 'cure' for me. Unfortunately having a chronic or more diseases u battle every single day is not that easy. I am sure JAC will find resources & support to carry on and maybe some help & inspiration from people in here.

justanothercamgirl
09-12-2014, 05:36 PM
If you're actually hoping to die, you could be suicidal or depressed.

You have to change something in your heart to fix your motivation. At the very least you need to get on some medicine. Make your life easier and make some money.

Lastly, if your illnesses are actually that bad and you cannot get a regular job, you should consider going on disability. The government will help you, and there is a safety net in place for people like you.

While I do understand and appreciate your concern, I have been on government disability in the past and for several reasons I can't go into here the situation was more stress then it was worth and it was part of the reason I decided to become a camgirl.

I am also currently under doctor's care.

I can also assure you that I not suicidal but instead was expressing frustration with a health problem situation that has been ongoing for three years now. Three years is a long time to go without an improvement in your life situation.

anoncamgirl
09-12-2014, 05:40 PM
^^ I think you are taking it out of context.. I feel the same way as JAC.. everyday I wake up and think why the fuck am I still alive!.. one time I had costochondritis and pleurisy went to the ER.. I was hoping I would have lung cancer and be done with it.. even told the doctor that.. You don't understand such misery obviously.... I get what she is saying.. I feel the same way.. every day is just crap .. and you are just stuck in a hole of nothingness day and day out and you wonder if you will ever get out of it.. I think that she doesn't need suicidal advise.. I think you're approach is not correct. You are NOT understanding what she is going through... sorry but whenever I say I don't want to live I have to listen to such crap like this.. Just shrugged off to some govt or counselor that will make my life worth living...LOL.. I do not think she was looking for that.. I think she is looking for a listening ear, supportive, someone she can relate to. Someone who relates to her.. ya know?

I'm 21. So far, I've had to suffer more than anyone I know.


My stepdad was an abusive asshole, he repeatedly sexually assaulted and molested me from the ages of 10-13.
My mom divorced my stepdad when she found out that he was molesting me.
She wasn't much b etter, she abused me physically and emotionally.
She locked cabinets, the refrigerator, and wouldn't allow medication.
She took me off of my depression medication for the PTSD from the sexual abuse from my stepdad, I suffered from withdrawals. As most people who have taken SSRI medications know, the withdrawals are on par with heroin withdrawls. I was 14-16 while I suffered and my mother showed no mercy.
She eventually kicked me out, I was on the street for 6 months.
I almost starved. I was so thin I could smuggly food between my hip bones. I looked like a walking skeleton. (My family was rich, I didn't know what food stamps were.)
I almost died of walking pneumonia.
When I slept outside in -0F weather, it was so cold my phone would run out of battery, even when I put it right next to my heart which was the warmest place on my body.



Are you kidding me that I don't know misery? You should never judge people when you don't know their life story, too.

I have 3 suicide attempts in my life, the next one will not be an attempt. It will be a gunshot straight to my skull.

I'm just saying I know better than anyone else. If you're suicidal, you need to go get help. I'm fortunately my life is in a better place now, but it took a lot of hard work and didn't just appear out of thin air. That's cute that you think I haven't suffered, too.

justanothercamgirl
09-12-2014, 05:51 PM
I'm 21. So far, I've had to suffer more than anyone I know.


My stepdad was an abusive asshole, he repeatedly sexually assaulted and molested me from the ages of 10-13.
My mom divorced my stepdad when she found out that he was molesting me.
She wasn't much b etter, she abused me physically and emotionally.
She locked cabinets, the refrigerator, and wouldn't allow medication.
She took me off of my depression medication for the PTSD from the sexual abuse from my stepdad, I suffered from withdrawals. As most people who have taken SSRI medications know, the withdrawals are on par with heroin withdrawls. I was 14-16 while I suffered and my mother showed no mercy.
She eventually kicked me out, I was on the street for 6 months.
I almost starved. I was so thin I could smuggly food between my hip bones. I looked like a walking skeleton. (My family was rich, I didn't know what food stamps were.)
I almost died of walking pneumonia.
When I slept outside in -0F weather, it was so cold my phone would run out of battery, even when I put it right next to my heart which was the warmest place on my body.



Are you kidding me that I don't know misery? You should never judge people when you don't know their life story, too.

I have 3 suicide attempts in my life, the next one will not be an attempt. It will be a gunshot straight to my skull.

I'm just saying I know better than anyone else. If you're suicidal, you need to go get help. I'm fortunately my life is in a better place now, but it took a lot of hard work and didn't just appear out of thin air. That's cute that you think I haven't suffered, too.

I think what she meant was with chronic illness.

It is a different type of misery.....no worse or better than any other type of misery. It just grinds on you in a completely different way.

No one has an monopoly on pain. The whole reason this thread exists is to validate each other's pain and to support each other through it.....not to deny anyone that they have suffered.

anoncamgirl
09-12-2014, 05:57 PM
I think what she meant was with chronic illness.

It is a different type of misery.....no worse or better than any other type of misery. It just grinds on you in a completely different way.

No one has an monopoly on pain. The whole reason this thread exists is to validate each other's pain and to support each other through it.....not to deny anyone that they have suffered.

That's true. :)

justanothercamgirl
09-12-2014, 06:14 PM
That's true. :)

I know your heart was in the right place.

http://media.giphy.com/media/cDgPhtThV6QE0/giphy.gif

If the other girls seemed over-protective of me it is probably just because even though I've been struggling harder then usual.....they know me well enough that they have faith that my 'famous stubborn streak' will always keep me fighting to win.

AliceFun
09-12-2014, 06:35 PM
Sorry to hear about what u been thru anoncamgirl, pls understand also that u cant expect people to know ur life story if u never tell ur life story to them, does it make sense?
The things u had to suffer, can i ask why u did not get help from authorities having in mind u were a minor and in these cases minors are taken under authorities custody and parents face prosecution for abandon and bad treatment to kids etc? Not sure where u from but in any civilized country that's how things work, from what i know. I ask cause u talked about government protection for people in trouble/ distress, what happened in ur case?

anoncamgirl
09-12-2014, 06:53 PM
I know your heart was in the right place.

http://media.giphy.com/media/cDgPhtThV6QE0/giphy.gif

If the other girls seemed over-protective of me it is probably just because even though I've been struggling harder then usual.....they know me well enough that they have faith that my 'famous stubborn streak' will always keep me fighting to win.

Ah, my misunderstanding then. I was just concerned because I have been there too. I know how it feels to wish you didn't wake up anymore. Sorry if I offended anyone. I shouldn't have gotten so emotional, and I didn;t realise it could have been perceived as malicious. I was coming from a place of concern, I promise. Thank you JAC!




Sorry to hear about what u been thru anoncamgirl, pls understand also that u cant expect people to know ur life story if u never tell ur life story to them, does it make sense?
The things u had to suffer, can i ask why u did not get help from authorities having in mind u were a minor and in these cases minors are taken under authorities custody and parents face prosecution for abandon and bad treatment to kids etc? Not sure where u from but in any civilized country that's how things work, from what i know. I ask cause u talked about government protection for people in trouble/ distress, what happened in ur case?

My case was a little bit complicated. A lot of the problems I faced were due to 1. lack of knowledge and 2. emotional attachment. I'm one of six siblings, and since they couldn't prove that my stepdad did anything to me my mother had a very difficult time getting custody of all the children. I'm the oldest, I know that he would have gone after my sisters next and I didn't want them to suffer. Even though my mom was abusive, she wasn't as abusive as my stepdad. It was the lesser of two evils. This was the emotional attachment I mentioned. It was wither have less access to food and medication or have my sisters (and possibly myself) get raped every night. Hard choice? Nah. This is why I defended my mother when teachers suspected something was wrong. It was a complicated situation, I wanted to do what was best for my siblings.

As for knowledge, I really didn't know that social programs were a thing. Like I said, my family was pretty well off. I had no idea what food stamps were, and I didn't know that there were places to help nearby. I suspected that places would help, but I didn't know I was one of those people. I guess I though poor people had a certified poverty card or something? Who knows! I feel bad about the person I used to be, I truly did not know any better at the time and was doing the best with what I knew of and had. No one told me about social programs, I had no idea it was common knowledge until pretty recently. I'm really not trying to act entitled, I was just saying if a resource is available you should use it if you need it! That's what they are there for.

justanothercamgirl
09-12-2014, 07:10 PM
Ah, my misunderstanding then. I was just concerned because I have been there too. I know how it feels to wish you didn't wake up anymore. Sorry if I offended anyone. I shouldn't have gotten so emotional, and I didn;t realise it could have been perceived as malicious. I was coming from a place of concern, I promise. Thank you JAC!

I promised I don't judge you for it. Trust me, I am in no position to. If there is anyone who knows about getting too overly emotionally invested on a forum -- it is me. (*laughs*)

Wearing my heart on my sleeve has already gotten me two infractions on Stripperweb and a ban. I am currently one infraction away from being perma-banned from this site for good.

anonymous camgirl
09-12-2014, 08:58 PM
sorry for your hard life, we all have our crosses to bear some run deeper than others. However, don't judge you?? but isn't that what you were just doing?? do you know about my life? some of us who are older.. I am 42.. Um I have wished for death pretty much my entire life..IF I express that, are you going to give me the number to suicide hotline?? I cannot just express my disdain for the drudgery of life? without be judged? see what I am saying? terrible life you had to live by the way.. I hope you will find a way to make peace and be sane through your life, it's not easy. Sometimes it takes your ENTIRE life to feel whole again..


I'm 21. So far, I've had to suffer more than anyone I know.


My stepdad was an abusive asshole, he repeatedly sexually assaulted and molested me from the ages of 10-13.
My mom divorced my stepdad when she found out that he was molesting me.
She wasn't much b etter, she abused me physically and emotionally.
She locked cabinets, the refrigerator, and wouldn't allow medication.
She took me off of my depression medication for the PTSD from the sexual abuse from my stepdad, I suffered from withdrawals. As most people who have taken SSRI medications know, the withdrawals are on par with heroin withdrawls. I was 14-16 while I suffered and my mother showed no mercy.
She eventually kicked me out, I was on the street for 6 months.
I almost starved. I was so thin I could smuggly food between my hip bones. I looked like a walking skeleton. (My family was rich, I didn't know what food stamps were.)
I almost died of walking pneumonia.
When I slept outside in -0F weather, it was so cold my phone would run out of battery, even when I put it right next to my heart which was the warmest place on my body.



Are you kidding me that I don't know misery? You should never judge people when you don't know their life story, too.

I have 3 suicide attempts in my life, the next one will not be an attempt. It will be a gunshot straight to my skull.

I'm just saying I know better than anyone else. If you're suicidal, you need to go get help. I'm fortunately my life is in a better place now, but it took a lot of hard work and didn't just appear out of thin air. That's cute that you think I haven't suffered, too.

JaneBurgess
09-12-2014, 09:57 PM
Sending you hugs and positive vibes. Hang in there girlie



I am not going to lie. It is really hard for me these days to stay my hopeful and optimistic self. Soul-crushingly hard. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning and open my eyes my first thought is, "I didn't die in my sleep, fuck!"

But since I've got you and all the other bbs here for support it makes it easier to just try and take it day by day.

We gotta do the best we can with what we got, right?

http://media.giphy.com/media/YxwgaXTPQCZxu/giphy.gif

P.S. I do have a chronic disease that I battle with daily. Sadly, I actually have more than one of them. I just don't talk about 'it' a lot because I don't want to say publicly what it is I have. <3

JaneBurgess
09-12-2014, 09:59 PM
I had costochondritis for years from a car accident, so I understand your pain. That hurts so damn bad I wanted to die too since the pain pills didnt help much.

Sending you hugs too



^^ I think you are taking it out of context.. I feel the same way as JAC.. everyday I wake up and think why the fuck am I still alive!.. one time I had costochondritis and pleurisy went to the ER.. I was hoping I would have lung cancer and be done with it.. even told the doctor that.. You don't understand such misery obviously.... I get what she is saying.. I feel the same way.. every day is just crap .. and you are just stuck in a hole of nothingness day and day out and you wonder if you will ever get out of it.. I think that she doesn't need suicidal advise.. I think you're approach is not correct. You are NOT understanding what she is going through... sorry but whenever I say I don't want to live I have to listen to such crap like this.. Just shrugged off to some govt or counselor that will make my life worth living...LOL.. I do not think she was looking for that.. I think she is looking for a listening ear, supportive, someone she can relate to. Someone who relates to her.. ya know?

JaneBurgess
09-12-2014, 10:02 PM
I'm sorry you had to endure all of that pain and misery. I am also so happy to hear you are in a much better place. I really do think what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger is so true.



I'm 21. So far, I've had to suffer more than anyone I know.


My stepdad was an abusive asshole, he repeatedly sexually assaulted and molested me from the ages of 10-13.
My mom divorced my stepdad when she found out that he was molesting me.
She wasn't much b etter, she abused me physically and emotionally.
She locked cabinets, the refrigerator, and wouldn't allow medication.
She took me off of my depression medication for the PTSD from the sexual abuse from my stepdad, I suffered from withdrawals. As most people who have taken SSRI medications know, the withdrawals are on par with heroin withdrawls. I was 14-16 while I suffered and my mother showed no mercy.
She eventually kicked me out, I was on the street for 6 months.
I almost starved. I was so thin I could smuggly food between my hip bones. I looked like a walking skeleton. (My family was rich, I didn't know what food stamps were.)
I almost died of walking pneumonia.
When I slept outside in -0F weather, it was so cold my phone would run out of battery, even when I put it right next to my heart which was the warmest place on my body.



Are you kidding me that I don't know misery? You should never judge people when you don't know their life story, too.

I have 3 suicide attempts in my life, the next one will not be an attempt. It will be a gunshot straight to my skull.

I'm just saying I know better than anyone else. If you're suicidal, you need to go get help. I'm fortunately my life is in a better place now, but it took a lot of hard work and didn't just appear out of thin air. That's cute that you think I haven't suffered, too.