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justanothercamgirl
10-04-2014, 05:40 AM
The ugly beast depression has stolen weeks from me. Maybe even months. I just know that my earnings haven't been the same at all since I got bad news the last week of August. It took 10+ days to get back on cam and I never really found my groove again. Well, end of September came and something else bad happened (apartment flooded) and that threw me off for 2 days (legitimately) and then 7 days just because I haven't been coping with stress well. So now I'm standing at the crossroads of Fucked and You're Screwed. I feel like it's not a good thing to be such a desperate cam girl. No good can come of that. I don't really have any choice but to buck up and pull myself up from boot straps and shit. The other option? Hopelessness & despair. Well let's be real, I'm already there. I'm hopeful that I will get out of bed tomorrow and get on cam and try to make SOMETHING on SM before cutoff.


Depression is a horribly ugly beast. I've been battling it since about June. It got to the point where I didn't give two shits about anything, I even closed both of my camming accounts. Now I have to start all over again, somewhere. I don't want to go back to iml or sm. Iml tanked for me after about 6 months, and I never did make shit on sm. I have to figure out how to get my head clear, and refresh/reboot. I don't get excited about anything anymore, I hardly ever get out of my pajamas, and I am confused because normally this is my favorite time of year with the weather getting cooler and the crisp fresh air. I'm stuck in this funky fog and I can't see the way out, and most days I'm too fucking tired to bother looking for a map.

I find it is good to add clips into the mix for the days that I find that I am brain dead from depression and don't want to interact with anyone at all. I've never been able to replace my camming income with it but anything is better then zero, right?

reversecowgirl
10-04-2014, 05:45 AM
At this point, for me, yes anything would be better than zero repeatedly. What is that site you were talking about before, where I could try that out? Or is there more than one?

reversecowgirl
10-04-2014, 07:27 AM
Well I guess spilling my guts about being depressed, somehow lifted something somewhat. I applied for MFC this morning, and am thinking about Cams.com also. I can't (won't) do anything until my period ends, and it just started last night, so we'll see. I want to do things differently this time, maybe be more myself, bitchy etc. LOL Hiding my mood on cam 24/7 is exhausting to me, I need to embrace my moods and just go with it this time I think. I'm ready to get out of this funk, live life again and have fun, and get paid to do it, I was doing great six months ago, I know I can do it again, I want to do it again.

SoloDesire
10-04-2014, 07:30 AM
At this point, for me, yes anything would be better than zero repeatedly. What is that site you were talking about before, where I could try that out? Or is there more than one?

Clips4sale is the site I make the most on for selling clips! Check out the site and look at all of the different fetish categories and go from there. Have fun with it!

anonymous camgirl
10-04-2014, 08:23 AM
I kinda agree with that.. just fucking show up on cam.. really.. unless you are profusely crying and can't stop.. just go on.. no matter what mood you are in.. you will make money.. just don't get in trouble...lol.. that's what I do .. I don't have a choice I have 3 people to support and currently this camming industry is my only source of income!.. When you have NO choice you just do.

Can I tell you that when sm suspended me a few days ago for no fault of my own I felt so fucking shitty.. read my posts on this thread on 10/2 I literally was contemplating suicide .. I stayed on cam for 13 hours WITHOUT SM.. and I made 442 bucks.. even wiping the tears from my swollen eyes all day..
That's an extreme example.. the next day I was feeling good cuz I made all that money.. so I made 236 the next day!


Well I guess spilling my guts about being depressed, somehow lifted something somewhat. I applied for MFC this morning, and am thinking about Cams.com also. I can't (won't) do anything until my period ends, and it just started last night, so we'll see. I want to do things differently this time, maybe be more myself, bitchy etc. LOL Hiding my mood on cam 24/7 is exhausting to me, I need to embrace my moods and just go with it this time I think. I'm ready to get out of this funk, live life again and have fun, and get paid to do it, I was doing great six months ago, I know I can do it again, I want to do it again.

SweetJulia
10-04-2014, 12:55 PM
Dear Goddess of dildos, I need to get my antidepressant increased, or at least take it regularly. I've been slacking so badly and flipped out on my bf, now I feel bad. On the upside, I'm hot and make money. I just hate snapping at people, I'm really not mean :(

reversecowgirl
10-04-2014, 01:00 PM
I kinda agree with that.. just fucking show up on cam.. really.. unless you are profusely crying and can't stop.. just go on.. no matter what mood you are in.. you will make money.. just don't get in trouble...lol.. that's what I do .. I don't have a choice I have 3 people to support and currently this camming industry is my only source of income!.. When you have NO choice you just do.

Can I tell you that when sm suspended me a few days ago for no fault of my own I felt so fucking shitty.. read my posts on this thread on 10/2 I literally was contemplating suicide .. I stayed on cam for 13 hours WITHOUT SM.. and I made 442 bucks.. even wiping the tears from my swollen eyes all day..
That's an extreme example.. the next day I was feeling good cuz I made all that money.. so I made 236 the next day!

I did see all of that. I couldn't believe it. I quit sm along with iml. I am so glad they worked that out for you tho, and that they admitted it was their fuckuppery. You didn't need the trouble for sure. And thank you SO much for posting about your earnings, because that is exactly what I need right now to be reminded of, the potential magic that is out there. I get so into my own head, and I get stuck in this vortex of "what's the point", or "I'll do it tomorrow", or "fuck this shit" and I KNOW I do it to myself, but in the moment (which is like every five moments) it's on fucking repeat in my head and then my nerves kick in since I haven't been on cam in decades it feels like, and THEN I'm like "Well dumbass you did this to yourself again!!" I really feel nuts when I am so deep in it, and I don't tell anyone because I am afraid they'll think I am nuts or just plain stupid. I don't even tell husband how I feel really or how I talk to myself in my head lol! He'd prob just say "Get your hot ass on cam baby!" and knowing me, that would piss me off too, so I am a mess right now and I just keep it to myself. Good Lord, sorry for the rambling, once I get going I can't shut the fuck up. Love you ladies tho, and it does feel good to get some of this shit off my brain.

anonymous camgirl
10-04-2014, 02:25 PM
^^ ok seriously!.. if there is one thing I have learned about cam in the last 12 yrs.. it sure does teach you ALOT about life.. more than you ever knew , more than you think it can.. don't worry .. I have the same thoughts that I am so annoying to everyone and no one wants to even hear my thoughts or speak to me... oh and I calculated my earnings again on the 2nd day.. it's $252... someone joined my fan club on ifriends when I was sleeping haha. Girl!.. just get online ..

reversecowgirl
10-04-2014, 02:30 PM
thank you for hearing me!!!

pinkpink
10-04-2014, 02:31 PM
Well I did not get out of bed today. I ended up getting on the phone with my sister and crying my eyes out. I guess in 1 week I am going to move in with her and her boyfriend. It's a chance to live rent-free and get back on my feet, so I feel like I should do this. Save money and get myself back in a good place, mentally. Force myself to eat meals, get out of bed, go outside. Of course my sister knows nothing of my camming so this is going to be an epic change and obstacle for me. I will really only be able to cam during the week ~9-5. I will just have to work on phone sex, texting, and making clips. They think I do freelance work so I will have to start doing that for real. So, maybe that will be good too. More baskets, more eggs, get into writing & crafting more. I don't know. I just know my lease is up in 10 days and I can't stay in this hellhole anymore, I don't have the money to move into a new place and I'm just in a really bad space mentally. This sucks. But I guess I have to say that I am super grateful I have a support system there to help me through these next few months. Even if it means, loss of freedom, no more smoking weed and drinking all night on cam. I'll survive. I have to. Expect me to vent here, SW, a lot more I bet. :D

justanothercamgirl
10-04-2014, 02:35 PM
At this point, for me, yes anything would be better than zero repeatedly. What is that site you were talking about before, where I could try that out? Or is there more than one?

I use clips4sale.

reversecowgirl
10-04-2014, 02:38 PM
Well I did not get out of bed today. I ended up getting on the phone with my sister and crying my eyes out. I guess in 1 week I am going to move in with her and her boyfriend. It's a chance to live rent-free and get back on my feet, so I feel like I should do this. Save money and get myself back in a good place, mentally. Force myself to eat meals, get out of bed, go outside. Of course my sister knows nothing of my camming so this is going to be an epic change and obstacle for me. I will really only be able to cam during the week ~9-5. I will just have to work on phone sex, texting, and making clips. They think I do freelance work so I will have to start doing that for real. So, maybe that will be good too. More baskets, more eggs, get into writing & crafting more. I don't know. I just know my lease is up in 10 days and I can't stay in this hellhole anymore, I don't have the money to move into a new place and I'm just in a really bad space mentally. This sucks. But I guess I have to say that I am super grateful I have a support system there to help me through these next few months. Even if it means, loss of freedom, no more smoking weed and drinking all night on cam. I'll survive. I have to. Expect me to vent here, SW, a lot more I bet. :D

Vent away, I will listen. I can't offer much more than a virtual hug, but that is something. so here, ((big fat hugs))

reversecowgirl
10-04-2014, 02:42 PM
I use clips4sale.

I did check that site out, but they require an actual paper signature, and I don't have a printer. I live too far out, so running a block down the street to somewhere to print that out, isn't an option. I don't know right now if it'd be worth me driving an hour n a half just to get a printed copy of the paperwork, and how much trouble that would be? So for now, that's on the very very back burner for me. (that hour n a half is ONE WAY by the way lol)

justanothercamgirl
10-04-2014, 02:45 PM
I did check that site out, but they require an actual paper signature, and I don't have a printer. I live too far out, so running a block down the street to somewhere to print that out, isn't an option. I don't know right now if it'd be worth me driving an hour n a half just to get a printed copy of the paperwork, and how much trouble that would be? So for now, that's on the very very back burner for me. (that hour n a half is ONE WAY by the way lol)

Fair enough! I know there are other sites out there that other girls use that are options but I only really personally sell on C4S. You just need to find a clip store option that works for you. :)

sophiesecrets
10-04-2014, 02:59 PM
Clips4sale is the site I make the most on for selling clips! Check out the site and look at all of the different fetish categories and go from there. Have fun with it!

same here, its my bill/savings money. sm is quick cash money on sm, i have set up on daily pay... i know... but its only purpose is to be there when i need cash the next day. freeing me up to focus on clips. theres really no limit on how much u can make when u find ur niche. u can start a website with a monthly sub, i know girls who make 10's of thousands a month...

oh and about the topic, i have horrible anxiety, ADHD, and a broken jaw that never healed right, so i have to have more surgery... camming can be difficult at times, i know. i try to stay positive, thats what gets me thru. i pretend if i have to. i cant let depression get me... not again. its a race! lol. and thats how i think of it... have to keep my head above water, and do what i can do when i can, and relax when i cant... i had to rewire my brain... and thats a challenge too lol, because im very hard headed lol.

ashley jane
10-04-2014, 05:32 PM
I'm kinda down right now. I help care for my gram and at the beginning of the month she was kinda unresponsive and just super tired. Rushed to the er turns out she had a UTI and was on antibiotics. A few days to a week later she got diarrhea and her dumbass nurse was all oh she's ok now so it went on for like 2 weeks. One day her legs just gave out and we thought dehydration so back to the er. She was admitted for UTI again. I went home but my pap went back and said a nurse made a remake that we're not giving her good enough care because she's in the hospital to much. Then some how it got twisted to she fell. When her legs gave out my pap and I was holding her and her van driver helped us set her on a chair so her knees never touched the ground. Turns out she had c diff and her dr asked if she wanted to go to a rehab and she cried and said no and her dr was fine with that. We brought her home and she was super weak so a social worker from the hospital called and was trying to talk us into a rehab. She started raising her voice with my pap and he has a bad heart and can't take more stress so I hung up the phone. My gram agreed to rehab so we were gonna take her until the social worker called and said nursing home. Ok a mistake since rehabs have nursing homes in them but she kept saying that and saying we can't handle her anymore so nope not going. Sounds like they're trying to put her into a nursing home. So now I'm all depressed and shit because I don't want her to go to one. The rehabs were horrible I can only imagine what the nursing homes attached to them are like.

sophiesecrets
10-04-2014, 05:44 PM
I did check that site out, but they require an actual paper signature, and I don't have a printer. I live too far out, so running a block down the street to somewhere to print that out, isn't an option. I don't know right now if it'd be worth me driving an hour n a half just to get a printed copy of the paperwork, and how much trouble that would be? So for now, that's on the very very back burner for me. (that hour n a half is ONE WAY by the way lol)

hey girly, u can fill that out online and sign it with a digital siggy and they wont know the diff... i know from experience, i didnt have a printer either. seems like i took it to adobe reader and texted it in went to docu-sign online and signed it with a siggy close to mine and sent it in =)

also u can insert it into word i believe, and then just do text boxes, then sign it on docusign =)

reversecowgirl
10-04-2014, 06:08 PM
hey girly, u can fill that out online and sign it with a digital siggy and they wont know the diff... i know from experience, i didnt have a printer either. seems like i took it to adobe reader and texted it in went to docu-sign online and signed it with a siggy close to mine and sent it in =)

also u can insert it into word i believe, and then just do text boxes, then sign it on docusign =)

Can you explain to me how to do this in more plain speak? lolol! I will give it a go, if I can figure out what you are saying and how to do that, that is brand spanking new to me.

sophiesecrets
10-04-2014, 06:13 PM
sure, i sent u a pm. =)

justanothercamgirl
10-04-2014, 06:13 PM
My health is becoming pretty unstable and because of my current living situation it is starting to look more and more like I might have to give up my camgirl career in about approximately three months for an undetermined amount of time.

Nothing is for certain yet as of this date but the idea of being forced to give up camming cold turkey is a very bittersweet concept to me because my entire life for these last three years while I have been sick have been pretty much defined by both camming and by my happy family here on Stripperweb.

http://media0.giphy.com/media/11u4tZjYkrSP96/giphy.gif

anonymous camgirl
10-05-2014, 09:25 AM
I hope that is NOT the case we need you! Life is not the same without you.. I am always thinking about you even though I never meet you in person .. hoping you will have healthy stability.. that's the hardest thing in life to deal with the health problems.. Love you girl! xoxoxoxo


My health is becoming pretty unstable and because of my current living situation it is starting to look more and more like I might have to give up my camgirl career in about approximately three months for an undetermined amount of time.



Nothing is for certain yet as of this date but the idea of being forced to give up camming cold turkey is a very bittersweet concept to me because my entire life for these last three years while I have been sick have been pretty much defined by both camming and by my happy family here on Stripperweb.

http://media0.giphy.com/media/11u4tZjYkrSP96/giphy.gif

laurielegs
10-05-2014, 01:52 PM
hey girly, u can fill that out online and sign it with a digital siggy and they wont know the diff... i know from experience, i didnt have a printer either. seems like i took it to adobe reader and texted it in went to docu-sign online and signed it with a siggy close to mine and sent it in =)

also u can insert it into word i believe, and then just do text boxes, then sign it on docusign =)

I've done that too - a bit complicated but works great.

There are also some places where you can upload a file and they print and mail it to you in about a week: http://www.mgxcopy.com/products/black-and-white-copies

SimoneGray
10-05-2014, 02:03 PM
This last week I slacked off so damn bad. Because so many demons came back to haunt me. I thought about what went on sex wise in my previous relationship. A lot of that stuff has scarred me. I thought at the time it would be good sexual experience and make me more valued as a partner, but it didn't. I realize now it broke me the fuck down. A lot of the stuff that went on I didn't really agree to, but its not assault if you don't say no at the time right? Of course it is, but yeah, dealing with this made me not want to be fucking myself on cam for guys. I am back now though and thankfully the reception has been good so far.

Just wondering how I deal with this from this point onward. I feel like everything that happened sexually was the opposite of what I needed but I was too weak to say otherwise at the time. I am scared that I will never be in a functional relationship again as this is what has become normal for me.

This nonsense has messed with my head and made me sad when it comes to camming. I can't handle another bout of depression again, my bills will not get paid. Hoping this blows over or I can forget about it for now and just focus.

StellaPurr
10-05-2014, 04:31 PM
I started camming because i'm a "sick girl". I suffer from major depression with borderline tendancies, and have bad social anxiety/panic attacks. I could hardly get myself out of bed for my vanilla job most days and I sleep a lot. I wanted a job where I could work whenever I wanted to and didn't have to leave my house. I actually feel a lot happier lately because of the freedom this job offers.

My friends poke fun at me because I'm the socially awkward penguin of the group but yet I'm also a naked girl on the internet. I definitely do not feel awkward or anxious when I'm online for some reason, and I can let my goofy personality come out right away.

One thing that I'm finding difficult with this job is the motivation. I've managed to work almost every day but sometimes it's sooo hard to get myself out of bed, into the shower and all dolled up so I can get on cam, but I manage. It's also hard for me not to get discouraged when I have a shitty day but I've got the dollar signs in my eyes right now so I just keep plugging away and tell myself things will come around if I'm persistent.

I also need to remember to actually go out and see friends a few times a week so that I don't feel isolated. I'm kind of worried what the winter will bring (it's always worse in winter) But I'm trying to go into it hopeful.

sophiesecrets
10-05-2014, 05:00 PM
This last week I slacked off so damn bad. Because so many demons came back to haunt me. I thought about what went on sex wise in my previous relationship. A lot of that stuff has scarred me. I thought at the time it would be good sexual experience and make me more valued as a partner, but it didn't. I realize now it broke me the fuck down. A lot of the stuff that went on I didn't really agree to, but its not assault if you don't say no at the time right? Of course it is, but yeah, dealing with this made me not want to be fucking myself on cam for guys. I am back now though and thankfully the reception has been good so far.

Just wondering how I deal with this from this point onward. I feel like everything that happened sexually was the opposite of what I needed but I was too weak to say otherwise at the time. I am scared that I will never be in a functional relationship again as this is what has become normal for me.

This nonsense has messed with my head and made me sad when it comes to camming. I can't handle another bout of depression again, my bills will not get paid. Hoping this blows over or I can forget about it for now and just focus.

i feel where ur coming from... i was, am still in a similar situation. i dont even want to be sexual with him anymore because every time we are he wants to relive "it". hey im a camgirl right... should be just like a show right, no big deal... the demons it stirs up can wreck my mood for days...

but it gets better =) little steps. if u can get on for an hour and u cn get a load of laundry done... be proud of urself.

SimoneGray
10-05-2014, 05:04 PM
i feel where ur coming from... i was, am still in a similar situation. i dont even want to be sexual with him anymore because every time we are he wants to relive "it". hey im a camgirl right... should be just like a show right, no big deal... the demons it stirs up can wreck my mood for days...

but it gets better =) little steps. if u can get on for an hour and u cn get a load of laundry done... be proud of urself.

Yeah...its healing little by little. But yeah, sometimes things just come up and create havoc. Logged in today though and am keeping going :)

justanothercamgirl
10-05-2014, 08:38 PM
This last week I slacked off so damn bad. Because so many demons came back to haunt me. I thought about what went on sex wise in my previous relationship. A lot of that stuff has scarred me. I thought at the time it would be good sexual experience and make me more valued as a partner, but it didn't. I realize now it broke me the fuck down. A lot of the stuff that went on I didn't really agree to, but its not assault if you don't say no at the time right? Of course it is, but yeah, dealing with this made me not want to be fucking myself on cam for guys. I am back now though and thankfully the reception has been good so far.

Just wondering how I deal with this from this point onward. I feel like everything that happened sexually was the opposite of what I needed but I was too weak to say otherwise at the time. I am scared that I will never be in a functional relationship again as this is what has become normal for me.

This nonsense has messed with my head and made me sad when it comes to camming. I can't handle another bout of depression again, my bills will not get paid. Hoping this blows over or I can forget about it for now and just focus.

I don't claim to know any of life's answers but I would say forgiving yourself for not knowing would be a really good first step.

I promise you that you will have a functional relationship again in the future. Healing from trauma just takes time.

http://media.giphy.com/media/6lpVanLtYTjcA/giphy.gif

SimoneGray
10-05-2014, 11:15 PM
I don't claim to know any of life's answers but I would say forgiving yourself for not knowing would be a really good first step.

I promise you that you will have a functional relationship again in the future. Healing from trauma just takes time.

http://media.giphy.com/media/6lpVanLtYTjcA/giphy.gif

Thanks JAC, you're the best :) xoxo

Side note, logged in, kept logged in and pulled $104. Happiness. Glad I got on cam despite the ill feeling

anonymous camgirl
10-06-2014, 07:34 AM
Thought you guys might be interested to know this:

I just picked up some of that Synergy Kombucha drink so I was reading about the health benefits..Think I might get one of these a week now.

Kombucha Health Benefit #3 — Aids Digestion and Gut Health

Because it’s naturally fermented with a living colony of bacteria and yeast, Kombucha is a probiotic beverage. This has a myriad of benefits such as improved digestion, fighting candida (harmful yeast) overgrowth, mental clarity, and mood stability. As such, it’s noted for reducing or eliminating the symptoms of fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety, etc.

MiaFaye
10-06-2014, 07:35 AM
Absolutely no energy or motivation to work today, or the past 2 days... Fucking depression.

justanothercamgirl
10-06-2014, 07:38 AM
Absolutely no energy or motivation to work today, or the past 2 days... Fucking depression.


I am right there with you. I find it helps if I force myself to put on my makeup. Might take me hours to do it, but once I am done it makes it easier to get on cam.

reversecowgirl
10-06-2014, 09:33 AM
I just want to stay in bed. But I am FORCING myself to get new accounts set up, four to be exact. I just keep seeing dollar signs in my head, and it helps me take each step at a time even tho my entire being is not interested whatsoever. I am trying, and that's more than I've done in over three months.

SweetJulia
10-06-2014, 09:55 AM
Had a horrible weekend. School and money have me stressed, fought with the BF, drank a fifth every day of the weekend. Bad idea, cuz it makes my meds not work. So now, I have a perma hangover and the meds I so desperately need won't stay down. I had a major problem with alcohol when I was younger and stripping. Worse it ever got was I stopped breathing. Had half a bottle of 151. My friend had to do CPR and call an ambulance. When they drew my blood, my BAC was .34, which is almost a coma. I'm nowhere near that these days, but it really is a slippery slope :(

JaneBurgess
10-06-2014, 06:12 PM
Go to AA meetings for support. I heard it's a great place to get support for any issues with alcohol.




Had a horrible weekend. School and money have me stressed, fought with the BF, drank a fifth every day of the weekend. Bad idea, cuz it makes my meds not work. So now, I have a perma hangover and the meds I so desperately need won't stay down. I had a major problem with alcohol when I was younger and stripping. Worse it ever got was I stopped breathing. Had half a bottle of 151. My friend had to do CPR and call an ambulance. When they drew my blood, my BAC was .34, which is almost a coma. I'm nowhere near that these days, but it really is a slippery slope :(

justanothercamgirl
10-06-2014, 06:33 PM
I made it on cam today but seeing myself in that pop up ad really threw me off so I ended up having to stop at $93 today.

I am *trying* not to beat myself over being so 'emotionally weak' that the experience threw me off enough that I stopped camming for the day. It is just so hard though. I really need the money and the universe just seems dead set and throwing every physical and emotional obstacle in my way that it can to stop me from getting it. It is so hard not to hold myself accountable for not being 'strong' enough to dodge all of them with ease.

http://media1.giphy.com/media/HFMGmvKvgIRH2/giphy.gif

Marina Starr
10-06-2014, 06:37 PM
What is it about seeing that pop up that got you so down, sis?

I made it on cam today but seeing myself in that pop up ad really threw me off so I ended up having to stop at $93 today.

I am *trying* not to beat myself over being so 'emotionally weak' that the experience threw me off enough that I stopped camming for the day. It is just so hard though. I really need the money and the universe just seems dead set and throwing every physical and emotional obstacle in my way that it can to stop me from getting it. It is so hard not to hold myself accountable for not being 'strong' enough to dodge all of them with ease.

http://media1.giphy.com/media/HFMGmvKvgIRH2/giphy.gif

justanothercamgirl
10-06-2014, 06:40 PM
I just want to stay in bed. But I am FORCING myself to get new accounts set up, four to be exact. I just keep seeing dollar signs in my head, and it helps me take each step at a time even tho my entire being is not interested whatsoever. I am trying, and that's more than I've done in over three months.

You are doing AWESOME!

Remember anything is better than zero. :)

http://media.giphy.com/media/10o6eiEHdiV5eg/giphy.gif

justanothercamgirl
10-06-2014, 06:44 PM
What is it about seeing that pop up that got you so down, sis?

You always ask the best questions, sis. <3

I guess it was just really unsettling to come face-to-face for the first time with the persona I play on cam.

I understand now why some actors and actresses refuse to watch movies that they act in. (*laughs*)

justanothercamgirl
10-07-2014, 05:12 AM
So unmotivated to work my cam today.

http://media.giphy.com/media/IEWHX0kolzSRq/giphy.gif

I seriously need the money but I've just been lying here in bed for hours and procrastinating by answering threads here on Stripperweb.

MiaFaye
10-07-2014, 06:36 AM
I've been trying to get on cam for the past 2 days and just can't... I don't know what to do. I need to work. Feel like crying. Help.

justanothercamgirl
10-07-2014, 06:42 AM
I've been trying to get on cam for the past 2 days and just can't... I don't know what to do. I need to work. Feel like crying. Help.

We will do it together MiaFaye. We just need to take little steps together. I haven't even gotten my makeup on yet.

Tell you what, let's both put on our makeup and report back here to check in.

http://media.giphy.com/media/GJycRLp6zYGFq/giphy.gif

Remember, little victories can eventually win the largest of battles.

MiaFaye
10-07-2014, 06:47 AM
We will do it together MiaFaye. We just need to take little steps together. I haven't even gotten my makeup on yet.

Tell you what, let's both put on our makeup and report back here to check in.

http://media.giphy.com/media/GJycRLp6zYGFq/giphy.gif

Remember, little victories can eventually win the largest of battles.

That would be great :)

My partner has asked if I want to go for a walk to clear my brain fuzz, so I should be back in an hour or so...

ps: sherlock <3

justanothercamgirl
10-07-2014, 07:32 AM
That would be great :)

My partner has asked if I want to go for a walk to clear my brain fuzz, so I should be back in an hour or so...

ps: sherlock <3

Take your time! Remember even if you just sit in front of your makeup today and don't even get around to putting on a single drop of it then today is still a small victory over yesterday. :)

SweetJulia
10-07-2014, 08:27 AM
Go to AA meetings for support. I heard it's a great place to get support for any issues with alcohol.

Thanks Jane, but I'd run into a little problem. See, I'm in school for a double degree in human services and chemical dependency counseling. Ironic, huh lol? I may run into instructors who work in some places I'd go or classmates doing internships there. I did, however, sign up for an online alcohol tracker/support group.

justanothercamgirl
10-07-2014, 08:43 AM
Thanks Jane, but I'd run into a little problem. See, I'm in school for a double degree in human services and chemical dependency counseling. Ironic, huh lol? I may run into instructors who work in some places I'd go or classmates doing internships there. I did, however, sign up for an online alcohol tracker/support group.

It's less ironic then you think. The people who can best help other people find their way through chemical dependency are the ones who have looked into that dark abyss themselves.

I can give you this tiny piece of advice. If you are going to do it the online way (which is completely understandable) you should also definitely look into some private one-on-one based counseling.

If anyone hassles you about going in the future in regards to your career tell them that you only went as 'career research' and that you wanted to 'mystery shop' sessions to see how people really act in sessions after their schooling. Plausible deniability can truly get you far in this society.

The reason I mention the one-on-one part is because AA (as well as cognitive therapy) work by helping people to develop more helpful habits. It can be an almost insurmountable challenge to try and built those new habits when you are dealing with the exact same environment and environmental pressures you always have. But, you already knew that didn't you? ;)

No matter what you choose on your path to recovery, my heart is with you and I will be here wishing you the best.

SimoneGray
10-07-2014, 12:09 PM
I've been trying to get on cam for the past 2 days and just can't... I don't know what to do. I need to work. Feel like crying. Help.

Hey hun, I know this struggle. PM me if you need someone to chat to or if you need someone to keep you company during shifts on skype. I live in SA at the moment so our time zones aren't too far apart. Always here for you xx

JaneBurgess
10-07-2014, 05:48 PM
Even an online suport group is still great. I don't think it's ironic at all, it makes sense. Many counselors have suffered from the same issues as the people they counsel. I personally would want a counselor with actual experience.



Thanks Jane, but I'd run into a little problem. See, I'm in school for a double degree in human services and chemical dependency counseling. Ironic, huh lol? I may run into instructors who work in some places I'd go or classmates doing internships there. I did, however, sign up for an online alcohol tracker/support group.

RaineyLane
10-07-2014, 06:16 PM
Been doing great at overcoming my anxiety and ADHD using medical 420 and some new age stuff like meditation and crystals. It helps when I start to feel myself getting out of control. But I'm not gonna lie, there have been a few things in my personal life upsetting me and it's getting more difficult to stay in a good head space.

My mother knows about "Rainey Lane" and we got into it. There's also a freeloading member harassing me on my main site and it seems I can't block him from my chatroom. He's fucking with my mood. Trying to get back to my happy place... Ommmmmm

MiaFaye
10-08-2014, 05:52 AM
Take your time! Remember even if you just sit in front of your makeup today and don't even get around to putting on a single drop of it then today is still a small victory over yesterday. :)

Well, I got back from my walk, fell asleep for 3 hours and ended up on the phone to NHS111 because I was getting really strong urges to self harm. They arranged for a doctor to call me back, and I lied and said I was feeling better. I bought razors and took them apart. Didn't do it in the end because last time scared me so much and I couldn't think of a way to hide the aftermath if I ever do get back on cam...

I'm going to try again today to stream. Even for 30 minutes. I'll be on AW, so might opt out of free chat. I'll sit and play games, and if I get a booking then great, and if not at least I logged in.

I hope yesterday went better for you in the end than it did for me JAC!

justanothercamgirl
10-08-2014, 07:40 AM
I hope yesterday went better for you in the end than it did for me JAC!

Sounds like you had one heck of a day. <3

I made it online for 30 minutes and then gave up because I was just way to tired.