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SweetLilyRaven
10-10-2014, 11:38 AM
I wish I could give you big hugs and some motivating words, Mia. I know the struggle and hopelessness of severe depression. All I can offer is a listening ear and a cam buddy. I'd be happy to do what JAC has also offered - taking baby steps together to get on cam and working again. I'm always online, so PM me anytime you want.

In other news, the cramping and bleeding from last month's IUD placement is finally easing up enough to work on cam again. I went on yesterday for two shifts and nearly made my daily high goal - I missed it by $8!! I'm so happy about it and relieved to finally be working again. Our first car payment is due in 2 days, and the mortgage is coming up on the 15th. Those two bills alone will take up my hubby's paycheck completely…so I need to hustle BIG to cover the rest of the month's expenses. Not stressful or anything, right?? I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through this long 4 day weekend. The kids are home all day today and Monday, and there's not a drop of alcohol in the house. Normally I'd have a drink or two to help take the edge off my nervousness about being on cam (I'm insanely shy). I need to hustle BIG this weekend! Wish me luck...

justanothercamgirl
10-20-2014, 12:13 AM
I've been getting sicker faster then I originally estimated. Not a pleasant surprise to say the least.

Since I haven't been on SM for the last week I finally said 'fuck it' and decided to celebrate my calling it quits on the site by dying over my 'punk rock' hair colour with a normal one.

I've been forced to keep the same hair colour for 3 years now in the name of hustling and persona

Even though I am still getting used to it.......seeing myself in the mirror has definitely been giving me an inner feeling of freedom.

I have no doubt that I will return back to Streamate again someday to work and I currently have no idea how my bills are going to be paid. I am jumping straight into a free-fall and hoping against hope that some sort of net will appear to catch me.

But I'll deal with all of that when it comes. Right now I am just enjoying blending into a crowd for a change. ;)

http://media.giphy.com/media/Y95QX4CEQsAeI/giphy.gif

MiaFaye
10-20-2014, 09:48 PM
I'm dedicating today to trying to work. I have 10 days to make the £325 I need for Novembers rent. I can do that no problem if I can get back on the horse. It's coming up to 6am now, and I'm just heading to bed, so I probably won't be up until at least 4pm. Will start prettying up and setting up my cam space by 5. My doctor prescribed me diazepam for my anxiety, so hopefully that will help.

Ugh. Get. It. Together.

SweetJulia
10-21-2014, 08:38 AM
I'm so hating life right now, I'm getting symptoms of ulcerating again. I'm miserably depressed and my meds aren't working. My ancient doctor won't give me ones that do. I just don't even want to get out of bed..

reversecowgirl
10-28-2014, 07:48 PM
Not many posts lately, everyone ok?

JaneBurgess
10-28-2014, 08:06 PM
I have had a cold the last four days and today my allergies are acting up. I feel blah but still managing to cam here and there.

ivybunny
10-28-2014, 11:32 PM
I'm dedicating today to trying to work. I have 10 days to make the £325 I need for Novembers rent. I can do that no problem if I can get back on the horse. It's coming up to 6am now, and I'm just heading to bed, so I probably won't be up until at least 4pm. Will start prettying up and setting up my cam space by 5. My doctor prescribed me diazepam for my anxiety, so hopefully that will help.

Ugh. Get. It. Together.

My experience with benzos and camming is finding a perfect middle ground. Giving fewer fucks so you don't get anxious on camera but not so much that you give no fucks about paying your bills and therefore don't stay on cam.

Although I've had diazepam once for laser eye surgery and it felt different than any of the other (aka ALL OF THE OTHER) benzos. I just kind of watched Dr. Phil in a daze without realizing that I would normally be bashing myself over the head for watching Dr. Phil. And a lot of, "Sunlight... Pretty!!"

ivybunny
10-28-2014, 11:39 PM
If that doesn't work, consider asking your doctor about Ativan. It takes longer to kick in, longer to kick out, and doesn't kick you in the balls and make you drop out like some of the others (Xanax). Since camming takes fairly long shifts (2-5 hours for me), this is usually just enough to stick out that length of time, where others will wear off 20 mins in and you'll just wanna jump off. If they don't hit you like a ton of bricks and you don't get on at all.

Just take it about 20 mins before you start camming and it'll creep up on you that, hey, camming and making some moolah isn't such a daunting prospect anymore.

justanothercamgirl
10-29-2014, 05:24 AM
Not many posts lately, everyone ok?

Sadly, lately I've just pretty much been sleeping my days away.

How are things with you? <3

SweetLilyRaven
10-29-2014, 06:12 AM
Fuck…my mystery symptoms are back, on top of a resurgence of cramps and bleeding. Painfully swollen hands and feet, joint pain so bad that it makes me want to cry whenever I have to move, and muscle weakness that leaves me feeling as strong as an overcooked noodle. I've been tested up the wazoo for everything from MS to rheumatoid arthritis and nothing ever came back. I thought it might be Lyme disease for a long time since I was bitten by a deer tick in July 2013 and the symptoms started in September of that year, but the Lyme test came back negative. I could barely even walk my daughter to the end of the driveway to get on the bus this morning…and now I'm collapsed on the couch. I can't keep living like this, but there's nothing I can do to alleviate these symptoms without stealing my mother's oxy (which alleviates the joint pain just enough for me to do anything) and begging my doctor to run more tests. I hate this so fucking much!!

ivybunny
10-29-2014, 06:30 AM
Holy bajeezus... I'm so sorry... *tiny bear cub hug* since I'm sure a bear hug might make you cry.

Idea: Since I don't make clips (at least not yet) I'm not sure if this would work, but god knows there's probably a guy out there with a fetish for girls crying. Actually, I'm sure there is. I say do one clip with waterproof, one with non-water proof mascara, and just cry it out, sister. I'm sure the authenticity of your frustration and exhaustion will make it a hit with that crowd and it'll at least be a tiny stream of passive income.


Fuck…my mystery symptoms are back, on top of a resurgence of cramps and bleeding. Painfully swollen hands and feet, joint pain so bad that it makes me want to cry whenever I have to move, and muscle weakness that leaves me feeling as strong as an overcooked noodle. I've been tested up the wazoo for everything from MS to rheumatoid arthritis and nothing ever came back. I thought it might be Lyme disease for a long time since I was bitten by a deer tick in July 2013 and the symptoms started in September of that year, but the Lyme test came back negative. I could barely even walk my daughter to the end of the driveway to get on the bus this morning…and now I'm collapsed on the couch. I can't keep living like this, but there's nothing I can do to alleviate these symptoms without stealing my mother's oxy (which alleviates the joint pain just enough for me to do anything) and begging my doctor to run more tests. I hate this so fucking much!!

reversecowgirl
10-29-2014, 06:38 AM
Fuck…my mystery symptoms are back, on top of a resurgence of cramps and bleeding. Painfully swollen hands and feet, joint pain so bad that it makes me want to cry whenever I have to move, and muscle weakness that leaves me feeling as strong as an overcooked noodle. I've been tested up the wazoo for everything from MS to rheumatoid arthritis and nothing ever came back. I thought it might be Lyme disease for a long time since I was bitten by a deer tick in July 2013 and the symptoms started in September of that year, but the Lyme test came back negative. I could barely even walk my daughter to the end of the driveway to get on the bus this morning…and now I'm collapsed on the couch. I can't keep living like this, but there's nothing I can do to alleviate these symptoms without stealing my mother's oxy (which alleviates the joint pain just enough for me to do anything) and begging my doctor to run more tests. I hate this so fucking much!!

Have you been tested for lupus? (I have it and what you describe sounds very familiar to me)

SweetLilyRaven
10-29-2014, 06:42 AM
Lupus is one thing I haven't been tested for, but it makes sense to me. I'll ask my doctor to run that test at the next appointment. Thank you guys, for the gentle hugs and comforting words. Ivy - that is a brilliant idea! Any little bit helps and if a guy gets off on my tears, then I'll be happy to take their money! I'm do a clip as soon as my son leaves for school after lunch! Thank you again...

reversecowgirl
10-29-2014, 06:42 AM
Sadly, lately I've just pretty much been sleeping my days away.

How are things with you? <3

I'm alright. A shit ton of real life things going on but I'm holding on for the ride.

reversecowgirl
10-29-2014, 06:48 AM
Lupus is one thing I haven't been tested for, but it makes sense to me. I'll ask my doctor to run that test at the next appointment. Thank you guys, for the gentle hugs and comforting words. Ivy - that is a brilliant idea! Any little bit helps and if a guy gets off on my tears, then I'll be happy to take their money! I'm do a clip as soon as my son leaves for school after lunch! Thank you again...

Lupus is one that mimics other diseases, I was tested for Lyme and MS also, they were really convinced it was MS at first, until my skin rash popped up. Have you had any odd skin happenings on any part of you?

Glamourmilf
10-29-2014, 09:30 AM
Checking in.
Just started taking L-Theanine yesterday. Does anyone have experience with it? Maybe it's the placebo effect, but I think it actually makes my entire body feel relaxed. I took it late in the day, and was able to fall asleep right away, without melatonin.
I just found out (by mail) Monday night, that a judge dismissed my 'poverty' (self employed) reason for not being able to serve jury duty, so I have to attend. My anxiety is through the roof about it! Plus the fact that I have to find someplace else to live less expensively, and with no money, or credit, it's all too much! to handle.:frown:

SweetJulia
10-29-2014, 09:39 AM
Holy fuck, how is a nine day period even possible?! Awesome for anemics, just really makes us feel amazing. Ah well, I survived. Wine time.

Glamourmilf
10-29-2014, 09:53 AM
^^ I used to get nine day periods a lot. Mine always were at least 6-7 heavy flow days, but increased when I was having a lot of sex.
Don't know if that correlates, or not. (I guess using dildos might count as well, because when I started menopause after my first year of camming, I started bleeding again, after using dildos.) :(
So annoying.

SweetLilyRaven
10-29-2014, 10:18 AM
Lupus is one that mimics other diseases, I was tested for Lyme and MS also, they were really convinced it was MS at first, until my skin rash popped up. Have you had any odd skin happenings on any part of you?
I don't. In fact, my skin has been clearer and softer than ever before (I have KP, so smooth skin skin is abnormal to me!). I just confirmed that my mother was diagnosed with lupus when I was a little kid, but they changed her diagnosis to Fibromyalgia when I was in high school. I didn't even think of lupus because I haven't had any rashes or sun sensitivity (other than burning in 5 minutes due to my pale skin), but most of the remaining symptoms read like a page out of my body journal.

I started keeping a daily record of how I'm feeling each day, mentally and physically, along with a food diary. i wanted to be able to see if there were any patterns to my symptoms, or if there were any triggers. I did notice that the more meat and dairy I ate, the worse the symptoms got. Needless to say, I've gone back to a nearly vegan raw diet, which had been making feel a lot better until late last night. I need to stop rambling!!

SweetLilyRaven
10-29-2014, 10:36 AM
Lupus is one that mimics other diseases, I was tested for Lyme and MS also, they were really convinced it was MS at first, until my skin rash popped up. Have you had any odd skin happenings on any part of you?
I don't. In fact, my skin has been clearer and softer than ever before (I have KP, so smooth skin skin is abnormal to me!). I just confirmed that my mother was diagnosed with lupus when I was a little kid, but they changed her diagnosis to Fibromyalgia when I was in high school. I didn't even think of lupus because I haven't had any rashes or sun sensitivity (other than burning in 5 minutes due to my pale skin), but most of the remaining symptoms read like a page out of my body journal.

I started keeping a daily record of how I'm feeling each day, mentally and physically, along with a food diary. i wanted to be able to see if there were any patterns to my symptoms, or if there were any triggers. I did notice that the more meat and dairy I ate, the worse the symptoms got. Needless to say, I've gone back to a nearly vegan raw diet, which had been making feel a lot better until late last night. I need to stop rambling!!

reversecowgirl
10-29-2014, 02:49 PM
Checking in.
Just started taking L-Theanine yesterday. Does anyone have experience with it? Maybe it's the placebo effect, but I think it actually makes my entire body feel relaxed. I took it late in the day, and was able to fall asleep right away, without melatonin.
I just found out (by mail) Monday night, that a judge dismissed my 'poverty' (self employed) reason for not being able to serve jury duty, so I have to attend. My anxiety is through the roof about it! Plus the fact that I have to find someplace else to live less expensively, and with no money, or credit, it's all too much! to handle.:frown:

I take it. On days when I'm not quite as antsy, I'll just take one in the morning, and one around 2pm. On my super stressed out, anxious days, I take two in the morning, and then two around 2pm. If I take it with caffeine I get major insomnia, or a stressed out fitful sleep at best. It has definitely helped me.

Glamourmilf
10-29-2014, 04:08 PM
^^Thank You!

reversecowgirl
10-29-2014, 04:44 PM
You're welcome sweetpea. Hope it helps you mucho. lol

JaneBurgess
10-30-2014, 12:51 AM
Ativan is the exact same kind of drug as Xanax. It kicks in fast and takes hours to leave your system, I have a script for it, 1 mg pills but I cut them in half or I pass out. I only take it as needed because it makes me loopy and man do I sleep at night on a day I need it. I dont recommend anyone take a Benzo unless its as needed and you really need it. They are highly addictive and I mean highly. Ive only taken 1 in two months



If that doesn't work, consider asking your doctor about Ativan. It takes longer to kick in, longer to kick out, and doesn't kick you in the balls and make you drop out like some of the others (Xanax). Since camming takes fairly long shifts (2-5 hours for me), this is usually just enough to stick out that length of time, where others will wear off 20 mins in and you'll just wanna jump off. If they don't hit you like a ton of bricks and you don't get on at all.

Just take it about 20 mins before you start camming and it'll creep up on you that, hey, camming and making some moolah isn't such a daunting prospect anymore.

ivybunny
10-30-2014, 03:27 AM
Ativan is the exact same kind of drug as Xanax. It kicks in fast and takes hours to leave your system, I have a script for it, 1 mg pills but I cut them in half or I pass out. I only take it as needed because it makes me loopy and man do I sleep at night on a day I need it. I dont recommend anyone take a Benzo unless its as needed and you really need it. They are highly addictive and I mean highly. Ive only taken 1 in two months

While I totally agree with it being very VERY addictive (I had a problem with it years ago), I just wanna say that this comment was supposed to be in tandem with the one right before it, where I say that the balance is really important. What I didn't mention (since everyone has diff resistances to drugs) was that I myself had the lowest dosage of Ativan (1mg) and second lowest of Xanax (0.5mg) and ALWAYS broke it in half if not quarters, unless I was having a panic attack/flashback.

They are very similar - Xanax, Ativan, and Valium are all benzos - but the intensity and half-life have some variation. And especially if MF has assault related flashbacks AND anxiety/depression, I feel like Ativan is the way to go in this respect if there isn't quite the social and financial safety net to a) make sure addiction become a problem and b) allow mental health to come before working. 20 minutes is a great amount of time to wait if you're doing a VERY low dosage that will relax you JUST enough to get on cam but not make you too loopy to perform. In fact, it'll help, as it acts along the same pathways as alcohol, but like booze, a little will loosen you up like right before a performance or interview, but a little more will make you sloppy. Especially if Valium is already prescribed, I just wanted to give an alternative that worked well for me in a very similar situation if for whatever V didn't react well.

It's all just well-meaning advice, and like everything else I post on this forum, not something I insist is the end all be all. It's something to keep in mind and consider looking into at best, but I encourage everyone to do your own research, ask professionals before going forward. And if you disagree, I welcome it! I'm an agonist, I think struggle is the best way to get the most complete information and perspectives.

justanothercamgirl
10-30-2014, 05:37 AM
I dont recommend anyone take a Benzo unless its as needed and you really need it. They are highly addictive and I mean highly.
http://media.giphy.com/media/13cXHBqGdocB1K/giphy.gif

It is the reason I recommend L-Theanine so much.

Well that and all types of benzodiazepines make me hyper. (*laughs*)

justanothercamgirl
10-30-2014, 05:44 AM
It's all just well-meaning advice, and like everything else I post on this forum, not something I insist is the end all be all. It's something to keep in mind and consider looking into at best, but I encourage everyone to do your own research, ask professionals before going forward. And if you disagree, I welcome it! I'm an agonist, I think struggle is the best way to get the most complete information and perspectives.

I appreciate your advice! Each person has their own personal brain chemistry that will react differently then another person's. I figure when it comes to information on how to relieve anxiety then the more options you have to choose from then the better off you are. :D

reversecowgirl
10-30-2014, 08:18 AM
I have to stay far far far away from xanax or anything like it. I tried that before, through a girlfriend of mine, and holy fuck I liked it WAY too much. No no no for me. I'm glad it doesn't grow on trees, or I'd probably be in a coma.

ivybunny
10-30-2014, 08:28 AM
@JAC Thanks<333


I have to stay far far far away from xanax or anything like it. I tried that before, through a girlfriend of mine, and holy fuck I liked it WAY too much. No no no for me. I'm glad it doesn't grow on trees, or I'd probably be in a coma.

TOTALLY understand. This is why I don't understand why psychiatrists don't do exactly what mine did: give me the lowest dosage, tell me to break it in half and use only as needed, and call for a refill if I ran out too quick. And when I think I'm developing an infatuation to medication, I give it to my sigfig, my friend, my roommate, and ask them for it as needed. It's a pain, but anyone who you see daily would rather deal with a slight inconvenience like that than have you get addicted.

justanothercamgirl
10-30-2014, 08:41 AM
And when I think I'm developing an infatuation to medication, I give it to my sigfig, my friend, my roommate, and ask them for it as needed. It's a pain, but anyone who you see daily would rather deal with a slight inconvenience like that than have you get addicted.

You are one smart cookie!

thatgingercamgirl
10-30-2014, 12:31 PM
You those days where you wake up and you immediately know that depression is going to be kicking your ass today? Yeah, I'm having one of those days. I have to find the drive to get on cam and film a custom clip....somewhere. I just want to go back to bed and sleep until I get a totally different day.

JaneBurgess
10-30-2014, 03:10 PM
I dread drugs period. I started having panic attacks in 2003 and I literally tried so many drugs I cant remember them all. I had a bad reaction to the SSRI's so for four years I took Xanax daily and man, it was a bitch to quit. I had to taper slowly for four months and it was hell on Earth. Honestly I found that therapy works the best for me and once I learned to cope with panic attacks, it became better. I avoid even aspirin now.

I only recommend drugs if you have no other option for anxiety and panic attacks. I know it sucks and I know it can physically hurt. Some of these drugs make it worse and quitting is a nightmare.




While I totally agree with it being very VERY addictive (I had a problem with it years ago), I just wanna say that this comment was supposed to be in tandem with the one right before it, where I say that the balance is really important. What I didn't mention (since everyone has diff resistances to drugs) was that I myself had the lowest dosage of Ativan (1mg) and second lowest of Xanax (0.5mg) and ALWAYS broke it in half if not quarters, unless I was having a panic attack/flashback.

They are very similar - Xanax, Ativan, and Valium are all benzos - but the intensity and half-life have some variation. And especially if MF has assault related flashbacks AND anxiety/depression, I feel like Ativan is the way to go in this respect if there isn't quite the social and financial safety net to a) make sure addiction become a problem and b) allow mental health to come before working. 20 minutes is a great amount of time to wait if you're doing a VERY low dosage that will relax you JUST enough to get on cam but not make you too loopy to perform. In fact, it'll help, as it acts along the same pathways as alcohol, but like booze, a little will loosen you up like right before a performance or interview, but a little more will make you sloppy. Especially if Valium is already prescribed, I just wanted to give an alternative that worked well for me in a very similar situation if for whatever V didn't react well.

It's all just well-meaning advice, and like everything else I post on this forum, not something I insist is the end all be all. It's something to keep in mind and consider looking into at best, but I encourage everyone to do your own research, ask professionals before going forward. And if you disagree, I welcome it! I'm an agonist, I think struggle is the best way to get the most complete information and perspectives.

JaneBurgess
10-30-2014, 03:10 PM
Ill have to check into this



http://media.giphy.com/media/13cXHBqGdocB1K/giphy.gif

It is the reason I recommend L-Theanine so much.

Well that and all types of benzodiazepines make me hyper. (*laughs*)

cam_girl40
10-30-2014, 03:30 PM
It's good to know there's others dealing with the same things I am. Thanks for sharing girls!
I've been dealing with Depression off and on for the past few years, but within the past 3-4 months it's been horrible. There's days I just don't feel like doing ANYTHING. Then when I don't work, I know the bills are piling up and BAM...that sends me into panic attacks and depression.
I'm also currently starting different tests ordered by my doctor. I've had some neuropathy in my feet for quite some time, now it's in my left arm. The depression, fatigue, some weight gain, grrrr! I'm ordered for a spinal x-ray, blood tests, and I see a Neurologist in a couple of weeks. It's all a lot to deal with.
I've just had to tell myself and leave myself notes that I MUST get online and work. I've made decent money before, I can again. I also decided to leave the site/studio I was with because of some factors that were triggering the anxiety/depression. Hoping that works!
Big hugs to all of you! I'm glad we're all here to encourage and support one another :)

anonymous camgirl
10-30-2014, 03:32 PM
Well girls!.. My Dr Schulze Nerve tonic is treating me RIGHT!.. my mood is so fricken relaxed and chill now.. I don't stress anymore and the money is coming.. that and some motivational speaker I was listening to .. can't remember if it was Bob Proctor or that guy that wrote the book as the man thinketh... something about not reacting...lol.. Oh and giving more than you receive in cash.. so yea.. I can't praise the Nerve tonic enough.. nothing but herbs.. pricey at $28 bucks a bottle ( 2 oz) but all you need is a half dropperful or so every now and then... feeling good.. You guys know how I am so stressed all the time... To blessed to be stressed!

P.S... I honestly don't know what's wrong with me!/.. I am NOT even bothered by the ASSHOLES.. I take all their shows with joy!.. I am also using a lot of the FEMALE tonic.. I feel like I used to feel in my late twenties before cam.. for those that don't know I am 42 next month.

cam_girl40
10-31-2014, 07:41 AM
I'm back on later today. I have to. I have to kick this illness/depression in the arse and get back on my hustle. I thank all of you ladies for sharing your experiences and advice. It's making getting back online so much easier :)

MissMafia
11-01-2014, 11:50 PM
Hello ladies! After a hiatus, I am finally back here.. figured I would jump back into it. :)

I am disabled with severe Crohns' Disease, Stage 4 Endometriosis, Intersitial Cystitis, amoungst other things..

I look forward to really reading this thread, as it was a great idea - as well as, relating to so many of you, that are just like me in the bad health department. :)

I will post my story soon. :) XO! Happy to be back and back in the game. :) Even if it's just MGF. :) xo

reversecowgirl
11-04-2014, 08:55 AM
Sore joints, bad stomach, and nosebleeds oh my. And it's barely 9 a.m. At least I wasn't on cam when it all hit me at once. Fuck you lupus. Right up your ass.

SweetJulia
11-04-2014, 12:07 PM
This is one of those days I feel like shit and the sound of childrens' laughter irritates me :(

JaneBurgess
11-04-2014, 12:18 PM
Fall finally hit. The temp is cooler and windy today which makes my allergies go insane. My allergies and anxiety feed off each other and it sucks. Trying to keep my shit together today. :(

rouge_x
11-07-2014, 04:21 AM
I've got endometrios and severe depression from every single birth control they've tried. I went from being able to do privates on mfc to not being able to do it for fear of bleeding on cam. My camscore is dying now and I have a month or two before my op to try and make up the money I'm going to lose :'(
Darn illnesses.

anonymous camgirl
11-07-2014, 11:07 AM
Well! I have been having a hard go of it the last week.. whew!.. ringworm on the inner elbow, Yeast infection from sunblock for my face...LOL.. said breakout on face.. estrogen dominance causing my boobs to be blotchy and sore...LOL>.fun fun fun!.. it's always something at this age..

justanothercamgirl
11-07-2014, 12:34 PM
I woke up planning to try to get on cam today but I am just too tired to even deal with it.

http://media.giphy.com/media/dux3ZN73jvrDa/giphy.gif

JackAlexander
11-08-2014, 06:37 AM
Woke up early, got dressed, got on cam. Body started feeling weird and nausea. I don't feel pretty and I want to vomit. :-( Why is this happening? I have had a bad week with the audio issues on SM and now this. BLEH!!!!Had plenty of energy around 6 am, now I am drained.

I think it is because I took supplements on an empty stomach. :-( DOH

DancesWithSloths
11-08-2014, 12:46 PM
So I'm on the autistic spectrum, or Aspie if you like, and the tireder I get, the harder it is to cope on cam. The hardest thing for me is lying, which is such an essential part of the craft.

Most days it's ok, but here's one from today: "Are you enjoying this, baby?" - "This is ok, but I'd rather use this other toy."

Dude gets sadfeels and leaves. I take a good minute to remember I should bloody well lie as part of customer service.

Gah.

Magical_Hoohah
11-08-2014, 08:09 PM
I thought my mysterious tiredness was starting to go away, but it's coming back around. Several days this week I've been able to handle a couple personal things that HAD to be done, and then I did grooming stuff, showered, did makeup and hair and all that shit, and... then felt so tired that I could barely move.

I think it might be stress getting to me. Normally I keep a pretty even keel, and I probably internalize everything, so maybe this is how it gets out. In my personal life, I'm putting out fires (metaphorically) left and right, and most of them are very expensive issues. I also suspect that I'm on the verge of separating from my husband, and I have absolutely NO idea how we'd work out the logistics. I'm just waiting to see if the other shoe falls on that one.

I know it's possible for stress/anxiety/depression to manifest like this, but I feel so oddly calm and resigned mentally. This exhaustion feels so completely physical.

Anyway, it took me all day to get through a few things and to get ready and be sitting here at my computer, ready to go. I'm going to try for an hour. If I make it on for an hour, I'll consider today a win.

MissMafia
11-08-2014, 11:26 PM
Well I was gonna start on CC this weekend - until my Endo gave me the triangle of agony (I call it that.)
My endo started having a shit fit - then the Crohns started, then my bladder started... Rinse and Repeat.
All.Fucking.Day.

Been eating Zofran like candy, all day - with my cramp meds... and a pain killer here and there. Ugh. I can't stand it.
And I wish the DR could figure out after post hyst, why it keeps coming back - and now it's in my digestive tract and in my stomach.

GRRRRREEAAAT! I fail at life this weekend - that's ok though - health comes first, camming second. But at least I could work MGF and make some cash money. :) Gotta love just selling vids and pix. LOL

OH - and the drastic weather changes - makes my bones feel like they are breaking when I move... I got this nerve creme that has certain properties in it - and it's working pretty awesome for that.. That stuff usually doesn't. However, I still hate it - makes everything worse.

SweetJulia
11-09-2014, 08:00 AM
Well ladies, it's the one month anniversary of my miserable GI issues. I wonder what I'm getting for a present.

MissMafia
11-09-2014, 03:41 PM
Full Circle again today - I don't even have the drive to do anything but sell content and search for more things to upload.. Ugh.

SweetLilyRaven
11-10-2014, 08:26 PM
More bloodwork. More doctor appointments. More cramps and pain. More pain meds and muscle relaxants. More insomnia. My Dom/boyfriend is leaving in the early morning for a three day work trip to the Netherlands and I already miss him terribly. My joints and legs are so swollen I can't even get my feet into my flip flops, and my back aches from sleeping on the guest bed because my hubby had his girlfriend over for the weekend. *sigh*

On the bright side, my Domly-type FWB is coming over tomorrow for the night. I will be getting a much needed "attitude adjustment" from him. At least now I'll have some new bruises to photograph and sell.