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PrettyInPunk
07-07-2015, 01:00 PM
Okay, so I'm not sure how else to put this, so I'm just going to be blunt about it.

I took a two week break because of some family functions and yesterday was supposed to be my first day back on cam. Just this past week I've felt my depression and anxiety spike to a new high and it came to a dangerous tipping point yesterday.

Basically, I went to get ready to log in and had a massive panic attack. I literally flipped shit in a way I never have before and ended up bashing my head into a wall, giving myself a nasty gash and a mild concussion just so I had a legitimate excuse not to work. This new low point has me terrified and I have no idea what to do or how to tell my husband about it.

kayaj
07-08-2015, 07:30 PM
Hey everyone! This is my first post on stripperweb but I've been reading the threads on here for the past couple months as research because I'm a newbie camgirl. I have PTSD, borderline personality disorder, and chronic migraines. I'm so happy to see that this thread exists!! It's really great to know that there are other camgirls out there going through the same kind of thing that I am. I don't really have much to say, just wanted to finally introduce myself (you can call me Kaya) and say that it's nice to have a place where I can relate to others about being a camgirl with mental illness.

anonymous camgirl
07-09-2015, 03:17 PM
Hey girls! I have been trying out the Youngevity products and THEY ARE AWESOME!... I can breathe, I am feeling great.. I did so much shit yesterday it would make your headspin and I am in my 40's.. now if I could just lose weight!.. so if you want to FEEL awesome google youngevity and try some of their stuff out.. start with Beyond Tangy Tangerine.

LaylaLovely
07-14-2015, 03:25 AM
Now I know why I'm so grumpy... I have the flu... The past few days it has progressed so slowly I didn't even know it was the flu just thought it was a bad cold...horrible night trying to sleep!!! Can't take any days off as I already have to take days off for other inconvienances :(

justanothercamgirl
07-16-2015, 07:08 AM
https://frayednerves.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/13793400368153.jpg?w=440&h=240&crop=1

charlie61
07-16-2015, 04:29 PM
Hey girls! I have been trying out the Youngevity products and THEY ARE AWESOME!... I can breathe, I am feeling great.. I did so much shit yesterday it would make your headspin and I am in my 40's.. now if I could just lose weight!.. so if you want to FEEL awesome google youngevity and try some of their stuff out.. start with Beyond Tangy Tangerine.

I checked out the product you mentioned. With that much B12, you'd better be feeling awesome! Holy shit. Haha. Like 17,000% of your daily recommended intake - literally! Lol.

*~*Zorn*~*
07-16-2015, 04:58 PM
You ever tried fastt patches?? check it out.. I used them for my broken shoulder to heal faster and now I have another injury on my good shoulder and using them.. they work on really old injuries.. go to www.fasttpatch.com

Thank you!! I'm actually a dancer - but I do a lot of pole - and my lower back is seriously jacked up right now. It's making everyday life painful for me - and I'm very limited on what I can do on the pole. I think I need to try this!

anonymous camgirl
07-16-2015, 05:31 PM
I ran out for a few days so I did my other vitamins and drinks.. just wasn't the same:(.. glad to be back on it.. haha


I checked out the product you mentioned. With that much B12, you'd better be feeling awesome! Holy shit. Haha. Like 17,000% of your daily recommended intake - literally! Lol.

anonymous camgirl
07-16-2015, 05:32 PM
Well something that is a lot more cost effective that works really well is Magnesium Oil.


Thank you!! I'm actually a dancer - but I do a lot of pole - and my lower back is seriously jacked up right now. It's making everyday life painful for me - and I'm very limited on what I can do on the pole. I think I need to try this!

evielee
07-16-2015, 06:16 PM
My anxiety and add is making my motivation non existent. I'm currently a month behind in rent and completely self sabotaging.

Violet_Z
07-17-2015, 07:55 AM
I've ended up with the worst ailment ever for a cam girl. I have a cyst on my ovary that hurts so much all the time. I went to the Dr. because I thought something more serious must be going on.
It's really just this stupid cyst though and the only thing that the Dr will do about it is remove my ovary if it hurts too much. I really want to keep that, thanks. Lol
It just makes it really painful to do a lot of shows these days... I'm really not sure what to do about it.

anonymous camgirl
07-17-2015, 09:35 AM
You start doing research about nutrition and ovary cysts and what you can take and do for it.. doctor's only have answers for surgery or prescriptions. It's up to you take care of your body.. furthermore why would you want to suffer all the time? Do a ton of research and start experimenting.


I've ended up with the worst ailment ever for a cam girl. I have a cyst on my ovary that hurts so much all the time. I went to the Dr. because I thought something more serious must be going on.
It's really just this stupid cyst though and the only thing that the Dr will do about it is remove my ovary if it hurts too much. I really want to keep that, thanks. Lol
It just makes it really painful to do a lot of shows these days... I'm really not sure what to do about it.

LaylaLovely
07-17-2015, 12:17 PM
Omg! I got a cyst a while ago from camming and it burst!!!! I was in the emergency room in pain and they had to do an ultrasound and saw it had busted..he didn't seem to care we was just like its normal....idk if it is but I think I get them all the time because it gets painful when I go a certain direction with my dildo. Thinking of getting a smaller glass toy that just hits my g spot and a hitachi...unless guys ask I won't use my huge dildo lol

Candy_Woman
07-17-2015, 12:28 PM
I have been suffering terrible back pains since April. Finally I discovered that I suffer from degenerative disc disease, which has no solution because many simply disappeared lumbar disc. I started taking low dose of naltrexone a couple of weeks ago and the pain disappeared almost completely. I recommend it to everyone who suffers some pain, whatever the cause.

Violet_Z
07-17-2015, 12:38 PM
The only thing you can really do about cysts is just wait until they burst or go away. Warm baths and compresses, eating healthy, and some herbs help but they aren't a cure.

Also the assumption that I would be doing absolutely nothing about this is awesome! I love to suffer all the time!

anonymous camgirl
07-17-2015, 12:47 PM
I meant to prevent it from happening in the first place, for some reason you are getting these .. you need to figure out why.. what are you nutritionally deficient in?


The only thing you can really do about cysts is just wait until they burst or go away. Warm baths and compresses, eating healthy, and some herbs help but they aren't a cure.

Also the assumption that I would be doing absolutely nothing about this is awesome! I love to suffer all the time!

Violet_Z
07-17-2015, 01:06 PM
The cause of mine is having a Mirena IUD in the past. It's great to have the Mirena when you cam because of the whole not having a menstrual cycle thing. Be warned though, some of the side effects are terrible. I'd actually like to warn any other girls against them.
I meant to prevent it from happening in the first place, for some reason you are getting these .. you need to figure out why.. what are you nutritionally deficient in?

LaylaLovely
07-17-2015, 01:43 PM
Omg! I have the Mirena iud !! I'm suppose to take it out I lasted all 5 years with it.. I'm going to put another in right after, unless there's an easier option for bc

Violet_Z
07-17-2015, 01:51 PM
Sadly I still want to have my Mirena back because it's sooo convenient. But I guess they aren't so good for you, and my bf hated it.

LaylaLovely
07-17-2015, 03:48 PM
Mine too he would stop because it was poking him lol^^

Glamourmilf
07-20-2015, 05:04 PM
I have been suffering terrible back pains since April. Finally I discovered that I suffer from degenerative disc disease, which has no solution because many simply disappeared lumbar disc. I started taking low dose of naltrexone a couple of weeks ago and the pain disappeared almost completely. I recommend it to everyone who suffers some pain, whatever the cause.


I have degenerative disc disease also, and in constant pain. May I ask what the dosage is that You're taking, so I can ask my Dr. For a prescription? Thank You

Sonikku
08-17-2015, 11:05 PM
Can someone help me?

Every fucking time I try to get on cam, I can't.
I get all dolled up, room cleaned, all this shit...
And I freeze when it's time to go live.

Right now I'm shaking pretty bad and on the verge of tears and I have NO idea why.

I seriously cannot think of any negatives as to why I shouldn't get on...
Why am I like this right now??

laurielegs
08-18-2015, 07:14 AM
Can someone help me?

Every fucking time I try to get on cam, I can't.
I get all dolled up, room cleaned, all this shit...
And I freeze when it's time to go live.

Right now I'm shaking pretty bad and on the verge of tears and I have NO idea why.

I seriously cannot think of any negatives as to why I shouldn't get on...
Why am I like this right now??

Anxiety is tough. Sometimes I deal with it by just getting on for 10 minutes, and usually once I get started I can keep going.

KatM
08-18-2015, 07:52 AM
I start sweating every time i am about to get on cam, after i am all ready and am about to sign in, i get it, no matter how cold is in my room i cant stop myself sweating & that's the last thing i need after i made myself pretty. Anxiety of course, even the most famous actors have it & they even talk about it sometimes. If i sit down few mins, read a bit on SW, look up on cam site or watch tv i stop sweating. When i started camming i was hands shaking AND sweating, now i just sweat lol, the shaking went away after a good while.

seicento
08-18-2015, 08:48 AM
Can someone help me?

Every fucking time I try to get on cam, I can't.
I get all dolled up, room cleaned, all this shit...
And I freeze when it's time to go live.

Right now I'm shaking pretty bad and on the verge of tears and I have NO idea why.

I seriously cannot think of any negatives as to why I shouldn't get on...
Why am I like this right now??

It's anxiety.Look into cognitive behavioral therapy or read some of the Albert Ellis books.That should help u understand why you feel that way and how to controll it.

Sonikku
08-18-2015, 09:35 AM
Anxiety is tough. Sometimes I deal with it by just getting on for 10 minutes, and usually once I get started I can keep going.

I literally can't just force myself. My panic attacks are visually very violent and I'm scared someone will record me before I can control my body just enough to turn off the stream.


It's anxiety.Look into cognitive behavioral therapy or read some of the Albert Ellis books.That should help u understand why you feel that way and how to controll it.
Thanks seicento. I'll look into those books because I don't see my therapist enough for cbt.

seicento
08-18-2015, 09:56 AM
I literally can't just force myself. My panic attacks are visually very violent and I'm scared someone will record me before I can control my body just enough to turn off the stream.


Thanks seicento. I'll look into those books because I don't see my therapist enough for cbt.

Start with "How to controll your anxiety before it controlls you" and then everything he wrote about rational emotive behavior.My therapist asked me to read these and if it's helping me ,one who's dealing with severe anxiety and panic attacks they should help you too.

justanothercamgirl
08-18-2015, 04:51 PM
It's anxiety.Look into cognitive behavioral therapy or read some of the Albert Ellis books.That should help u understand why you feel that way and how to controll it.

I must admit that I've never found Albert Ellis' techniques to be very helpful to me.

justanothercamgirl
08-18-2015, 05:02 PM
I literally can't just force myself. My panic attacks are visually very violent and I'm scared someone will record me before I can control my body just enough to turn off the stream.

What I do is try to start with the tiniest goal possible and work from there depending on how I feel. I also will try to problem storm as many backup plans for 'worse-case scenarios.'

An example of the tiniest goal is that I would get ready to get on cam and then login the site I am using without streaming at all. I would then give myself time to figure out how my anxiety is feeling before trying to move on to the next step. There will be days where you will be unable to do more then sit in front of your computer and not stream.....and that is okay. The important thing is to figure out how you are feeling emotionally and how hard to push.

An example of a 'worst case scenario' plan is that if you are afraid your panic attack will get on top of you there are many things that you can do to try and make the situation easier for you. Some examples off the top of my head are: (1) Figure out something you can quickly cover your camera with if things go bad. (2) Have your computer plugged into a nearby extension cord so you can just yank it apart to shut it down. I am not saying that these are great ideas as everyone's panic attacks are different but if you can accept the fact that you will have a panic attack and come up with ways to make it easier to live around them when it happens then it makes it much easier to get on your cam.

I've had a severe anxiety disorder for the majority of my life so my heart goes out to you on this. Living with anxiety isn't easy, for sure.

http://31.media.tumblr.com/d917916de9737e77fadb5cb67cc652bb/tumblr_ms7hljVQUr1rk5zfdo1_400.gif

Sonikku
08-19-2015, 05:03 AM
What I do is try to start with the tiniest goal possible and work from there depending on how I feel. I also will try to problem storm as many backup plans for 'worse-case scenarios.'

An example of the tiniest goal is that I would get ready to get on cam and then login the site I am using without streaming at all. I would then give myself time to figure out how my anxiety is feeling before trying to move on to the next step. There will be days where you will be unable to do more then sit in front of your computer and not stream.....and that is okay. The important thing is to figure out how you are feeling emotionally and how hard to push.

An example of a 'worst case scenario' plan is that if you are afraid your panic attack will get on top of you there are many things that you can do to try and make the situation easier for you. Some examples off the top of my head are: (1) Figure out something you can quickly cover your camera with if things go bad. (2) Have your computer plugged into a nearby extension cord so you can just yank it apart to shut it down. I am not saying that these are great ideas as everyone's panic attacks are different but if you can accept the fact that you will have a panic attack and come up with ways to make it easier to live around them when it happens then it makes it much easier to get on your cam.

I've had a severe anxiety disorder for the majority of my life so my heart goes out to you on this. Living with anxiety isn't easy, for sure.

http://31.media.tumblr.com/d917916de9737e77fadb5cb67cc652bb/tumblr_ms7hljVQUr1rk5zfdo1_400.gif


This is probably the best advice I could have ever received. It gives me a really thorough work-through plan that I actually think I can manage going through.
Thank you so much.


Also, my boyfriend may have pinpointed one the main problem.
I overwork myself.

I literally have been feeling like I have to constantly be productive, with usually my art/crafts... so I've only been doing that.
I was a pretty hardcore gamer before I lost all my gaming friends and just kinda stopped altogether.

I suffer from two extremes in this situation:
1. When I game too much and don't get anything done.
2. I don't game at all and I'm always working on something job-related.

The sweet median is when I actually game on a daily basis and work as well. He said when I was gaming regularly, and not excessively, is when I made the most money and was more consistent about work.

I feel like I'm the biggest asshole when I'm playing competitive games, but that actually boosted my confidence too, it wasn't just a distraction.
I've said before in another thread that I have more confidence to anything gaming-related, even if it means streaming on Twitch, than I do with camming.

That night I posted here, I actually was trying to convince myself to play a game to relax my nerves and strengthen my backbone before I went on cam, but at the time I thought I was already stalling enough and it wasn't necessary.

I think the breaking point for me was when I was getting a lot of orders and custom work that I actually didn't have time to game. That's when I freaked out and everything went down the toilet.

Maybe he (my boyfriend) has a point. I'm sure he does.

SweetNSouthern
08-19-2015, 08:24 AM
Hey ladies...

So last night my anemia got me good and I ended up with a horrible headache and nausea, along with a dizzy spell. This plus anxiety has kept me offline for a couple of days and I need to get back to it. My main plan is to have some food, take my iron, and get ready so I can force myself on. Also, I have back problems and leg pain from a car accident I was in last year, so I will be trying some new things to see if I can alleviate some of it.

justanothercamgirl
08-19-2015, 08:57 AM
Maybe he (my boyfriend) has a point. I'm sure he does.

We all need downtime.

I've noticed when I don't take my downtime willingly that my body will make me sick enough and I will procrastinate enough that it will end up forcing me to take downtime anyway.

It is something I struggle with for sure. The embarrassment that having a mental illness makes me 'less effective' when it comes to 'being an adult' in many ways so I always end up trying to overcompensate and then burning myself out.

Sonikku
08-19-2015, 12:21 PM
We all need downtime.

I've noticed when I don't take my downtime willingly that my body will make me sick enough and I will procrastinate enough that it will end up forcing me to take downtime anyway.

It is something I struggle with for sure. The embarrassment that having a mental illness makes me 'less effective' when it comes to 'being an adult' in many ways so I always end up trying to overcompensate and then burning myself out.


Sounds just like my struggle.
I don't know how many times I've had a major freakout because I realized, once again, that I'm actually an adult and I have to do things and be responsible.
It's terrifying when I REALLY think about it.

RamonaRamone
08-19-2015, 06:51 PM
This seemed like the best thread to post this in, but feel free to tell me if it's not the place.

I have bad depression and anxiety, the latter of which can often make me procrastinate getting on cam, though I'm generally fine once I actually get online. But the Streamate issues of the past week paired with what I was sure were the beginnings of a UTI (caused by a jelly toy which I always used condoms with except for that ONE TIME) caused me to give myself more days off, which in turn gave me a lot of anxiety about money. I've been a wreck this week and feel like it's mostly my own fault. Of course, now things are better on Streamate (or so I hear - I haven't been able to successfully get online since Sunday, though I tried last night) and one of my regulars bought me a body safe 100% silicone dildo that I really wanted, which meant I was able to dispose of the awful crystal jelly. So of course, I want to get on cam and make up for lost time, but this morning I woke up and my kidneys were really hurting. I'd been trying to take care of my UTI with cranberry juice and lots of water and home remedies, but I knew I had to go to a doctor. So I checked my health insurance (which was through a university I've since dropped out of) - it expired five days ago. And because of my camming income which puts me just barely above the poverty line, the local sliding scale clinic won't accept me at a discount.
Long story short, I just got back from the emergency room (simply to get antibiotics before my kidney infection spread) and I'm going to be looking at a gigantic bill in my mailbox soon due to being uninsured (I have an appointment Friday to discuss insurance options moving forward, but it won't apply to this), and of course, on top of that, I'm not allowed to have sex or put anything inside myself for five days. No camming.

Thankfully my ELM has been picking up and I have a couple escrows for videos that'll pull between $10-15 each, and I put a couple clips up on ELM/MV today but that's nothing compared to the $100+ I could make in 2-3 hours on Streamate. And of course I forgot to mark myself as unavailable on NiteFlirt and got my first call WHILE SITTING IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM, so I couldn't take it (messaged the guy an apology + 3 free mins and an invitation to try again another time.)

Basically I'm just stressed right now and scared because I lost my new model status on SM within the last week, and I'm worried that taking 7 or 8 days off in a row will really hurt my traffic. I have all five stars and am in over 800 favorites lists and generally do pretty well, but will that still be true after all this? Anxiety kicking in real hard. I just want to be back on cam.

EffyRose
08-19-2015, 07:22 PM
I know it sucks but you need to take those five days to rest, or your body may get worse and force you to take longer time off. It fucking sucks, but you have to do what's best for you. Maybe you could try camming without insertion shows, but don't push yourself.

I hope everything clears up soon.

KatM
08-19-2015, 07:27 PM
The problems on SM lately aggravated my back pain due to high stress level, i dont wanna take pain killers anymore cause they damaged my stomach, i swear i had nightmares about SM, anxiety & feeling weak from the heat & nerve consuming. I am better already, weather got cooler, i can function a lot better now. Wish u all good health babes & i feel for u the ones who suffer, Hugs!

justanothercamgirl
08-19-2015, 09:09 PM
This seemed like the best thread to post this in, but feel free to tell me if it's not the place.

I have bad depression and anxiety, the latter of which can often make me procrastinate getting on cam, though I'm generally fine once I actually get online. But the Streamate issues of the past week paired with what I was sure were the beginnings of a UTI (caused by a jelly toy which I always used condoms with except for that ONE TIME) caused me to give myself more days off, which in turn gave me a lot of anxiety about money. I've been a wreck this week and feel like it's mostly my own fault. Of course, now things are better on Streamate (or so I hear - I haven't been able to successfully get online since Sunday, though I tried last night) and one of my regulars bought me a body safe 100% silicone dildo that I really wanted, which meant I was able to dispose of the awful crystal jelly. So of course, I want to get on cam and make up for lost time, but this morning I woke up and my kidneys were really hurting. I'd been trying to take care of my UTI with cranberry juice and lots of water and home remedies, but I knew I had to go to a doctor. So I checked my health insurance (which was through a university I've since dropped out of) - it expired five days ago. And because of my camming income which puts me just barely above the poverty line, the local sliding scale clinic won't accept me at a discount.
Long story short, I just got back from the emergency room (simply to get antibiotics before my kidney infection spread) and I'm going to be looking at a gigantic bill in my mailbox soon due to being uninsured (I have an appointment Friday to discuss insurance options moving forward, but it won't apply to this), and of course, on top of that, I'm not allowed to have sex or put anything inside myself for five days. No camming.

Thankfully my ELM has been picking up and I have a couple escrows for videos that'll pull between $10-15 each, and I put a couple clips up on ELM/MV today but that's nothing compared to the $100+ I could make in 2-3 hours on Streamate. And of course I forgot to mark myself as unavailable on NiteFlirt and got my first call WHILE SITTING IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM, so I couldn't take it (messaged the guy an apology + 3 free mins and an invitation to try again another time.)

Basically I'm just stressed right now and scared because I lost my new model status on SM within the last week, and I'm worried that taking 7 or 8 days off in a row will really hurt my traffic. I have all five stars and am in over 800 favorites lists and generally do pretty well, but will that still be true after all this? Anxiety kicking in real hard. I just want to be back on cam.

You're in the right place, bb! <3

http://media.giphy.com/media/wsSssszJkPBYs/giphy.gif

RamonaRamone
08-21-2015, 07:28 PM
You're in the right place, bb! <3

http://media.giphy.com/media/wsSssszJkPBYs/giphy.gif

Thank you JAC! And Effy! You guys are the best. Tried to get on cam tonight and the glitches basically booted me off pretty quickly, plus my kidneys are hurting so much even with the antibiotics, but you guys made me feel a lot better and the support helps. Hope to be back in the game soon and trying to do what I can with ELM/ManyVids/Niteflirt in the meantime. And for the record, the guy from NF called back and I managed to make a bit from my first phone call so it's something!!

42367

Sonikku
08-22-2015, 03:07 PM
I'm on cam now. Been on for about 20 minutes. Still nervous as hell D;

My shoulders are taking a toll on me from all the stress i'm under.

I don't think I can actually take this anymore.
I'm starting to literally feel sick.

sexkitten_666
08-22-2015, 03:13 PM
Streamate has triggered me to self harm again :/ I stopped for almost 7 years. but relapsed about a week ago and started cutting again :(. These glitches and dip in traffic have caused the worst anxiety in me. I've finally gotten my own place, and I could lose it if SM keeps fucking up like this. I don't want to be like this again...I really don't :/.

Sonikku
08-22-2015, 11:38 PM
Streamate has triggered me to self harm again :/ I stopped for almost 7 years. but relapsed about a week ago and started cutting again :(. These glitches and dip in traffic have caused the worst anxiety in me. I've finally gotten my own place, and I could lose it if SM keeps fucking up like this. I don't want to be like this again...I really don't :/.


Streamate has triggered me to self harm again :/ I stopped for almost 7 years. but relapsed about a week ago and started cutting again :(. These glitches and dip in traffic have caused the worst anxiety in me. I've finally gotten my own place, and I could lose it if SM keeps fucking up like this. I don't want to be like this again...I really don't :/.

SM's issues were a huge cause of my anxiety as well.

Today I realized I need to just get over it until the fix the issues and put this egg in another basket, I guess.

SM used to be a big money maker for me, but I just can't...

When I hear about 1st page girls making less than what I used to make in an hour being on like page 3, I started freaking out even more.


So I tried getting on CB and was actually able to get on. Still some anxiety though.


Don't cut, please ;<
If you have any other sites, try to make those your focus and build your fanbase up there until the day SM might fix their issues.

sweetgapeach
08-23-2015, 12:10 AM
Streamate has triggered me to self harm again :/ I stopped for almost 7 years. but relapsed about a week ago and started cutting again :(. These glitches and dip in traffic have caused the worst anxiety in me. I've finally gotten my own place, and I could lose it if SM keeps fucking up like this. I don't want to be like this again...I really don't :/.

I realize I have no idea who you are, never seen you on cam before...but lord...you resemble my oldest child (looked at your profile link). I just wanna hug you and tell you that you are FAR too beautiful for that little one. Pray on it, pray to something, somebody, ANYBODY...just dont harm your gorgeous self...those men are crazy for not spoiling you to DEATH!!

HUGS HONEY HUGS!!

justanothercamgirl
08-23-2015, 12:19 AM
I'm on cam now. Been on for about 20 minutes. Still nervous as hell D;

My shoulders are taking a toll on me from all the stress i'm under.

I don't think I can actually take this anymore.
I'm starting to literally feel sick.

http://media.giphy.com/media/pzlnnjsMrBhzW/giphy.gif

If I haven't been camming for a while then I always have to make sure I eat a very light meal beforehand and pad in extra time for having the dry heaves.

It is okay to literally feel sick.....in fact it is even to be expected. It is just part of 'fight or flight' physical symptoms that come with anxiety. If you accept the fact that it is going to happen then you can make a 'worse case scenario plan' for it too.

Think about it as if you had to get on cam even though you had the flu. You just try to treat the symptoms the best that you can but you won't stop yourself from having they flu. You are suck with the flu until it decides it is ready to leave. You don't emotionally beat yourself up when you get the flu, I hope. :)

Panic attacks are the same kind of thing. You are having to cam through very uncomfortable mental and physical symptoms.

I hope that made sense....It is 3 am and I have insomnia again. :/

justanothercamgirl
08-23-2015, 12:23 AM
Streamate has triggered me to self harm again :/ I stopped for almost 7 years. but relapsed about a week ago and started cutting again :(. These glitches and dip in traffic have caused the worst anxiety in me. I've finally gotten my own place, and I could lose it if SM keeps fucking up like this. I don't want to be like this again...I really don't :/.

Only having one egg in you basket to survive on when you work commission for a living is anxiety provoking for anyone. I know it is hard to do but you have to start branching out and cultivating other eggs in order to have other streams of revenue since all sites will wax and wane income wise.

Hang in there, love. It is just a set-back. You'll get through this. We are here to support you while you do it. <3

justanothercamgirl
08-23-2015, 12:30 AM
https://mentalinthemidwest.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/10537023_949834695043539_45367453634583075_n.png

Sonikku
08-23-2015, 12:42 AM
http://media.giphy.com/media/pzlnnjsMrBhzW/giphy.gif

If I haven't been camming for a while then I always have to make sure I eat a very light meal beforehand and pad in extra time for having the dry heaves.

It is okay to literally feel sick.....in fact it is even to be expected. It is just part of 'fight or flight' physical symptoms that come with anxiety. If you accept the fact that it is going to happen then you can make a 'worse case scenario plan' for it too.

Think about it as if you had to get on cam even though you had the flu. You just try to treat the symptoms the best that you can but you won't stop yourself from having they flu. You are suck with the flu until it decides it is ready to leave. You don't emotionally beat yourself up when you get the flu, I hope. :)

Panic attacks are the same kind of thing. You are having to cam through very uncomfortable mental and physical symptoms.

I hope that made sense....It is 3 am and I have insomnia again. :/

Haha you're fine.

I guess it wasn't helping that I was trying to fast...
Another terrible habit I need to break.

I ended up eating some banana chips... then later on 5 slices of pizza (don't worry; I just went grocery shopping before I got the pizza, but I was too weak to cook. x_x)!!! D;

I need to make an effort to eat something light before I get on cam and try to eat first thing in the morning.
My initial response when I wake up in the morning is to not eat... the whole day.

I think you were right. I was feeling even worse because I didn't eat anything before I hopped on.
Was running on coffee, basically (so good for anxiety, amirite?).

sexkitten_666
08-23-2015, 05:41 AM
Only having one egg in you basket to survive on when you work commission for a living is anxiety provoking for anyone. I know it is hard to do but you have to start branching out and cultivating other eggs in order to have other streams of revenue since all sites will wax and wane income wise.

Hang in there, love. It is just a set-back. You'll get through this. We are here to support you while you do it. <3



Thank you ladies for the encouraging words. I really appreciate and needed that! I have my eggs in a few baskets, but they've all been slow for me, and SM has been the one site I knew I could work and make at least something on. I hope things improve soon. I was finally starting to achieve a lot on SM. I hope things improve for you guys too, and I hope this hasn't caused any of you beautiful ladies to struggle. God, a nice fall or winter weekend of $50+ an hour and steady traffic sounds so amazing right now, compared to this glitchy dead summer!! Lol

sexkitten_666
08-23-2015, 05:44 AM
I realize I have no idea who you are, never seen you on cam before...but lord...you resemble my oldest child (looked at your profile link). I just wanna hug you and tell you that you are FAR too beautiful for that little one. Pray on it, pray to something, somebody, ANYBODY...just dont harm your gorgeous self...those men are crazy for not spoiling you to DEATH!!

HUGS HONEY HUGS!!


Thank you SO much for the kind words. I'll overcome it once these SM problems go away, I'm just a work a holic.
Lots of hugs to you too!!

sexkitten_666
08-23-2015, 05:46 AM
SM's issues were a huge cause of my anxiety as well.

Today I realized I need to just get over it until the fix the issues and put this egg in another basket, I guess.

SM used to be a big money maker for me, but I just can't...

When I hear about 1st page girls making less than what I used to make in an hour being on like page 3, I started freaking out even more.


So I tried getting on CB and was actually able to get on. Still some anxiety though.


Don't cut, please ;<
If you have any other sites, try to make those your focus and build your fanbase up there until the day SM might fix their issues.


You're so right!! How has CB been for you? I try to do mfc when sm is bad, but I only make like ten bucks and my cam score always dips. I prefer a pay per minute because I'm bad with hosting lots of people. I get man fright!! Lol

sweetgapeach
08-23-2015, 05:53 AM
^^sorry...just you worried me. I was sitting here stressing the fudge out about bills, bills, bills (sm girl too) and I saw your post...made me feel bad for thinking of my problems when i see its affecting most of us in one way or the other. Hang in there girly...