View Full Version : The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
sexkitten_666
08-23-2015, 08:33 AM
^^sorry...just you worried me. I was sitting here stressing the fudge out about bills, bills, bills (sm girl too) and I saw your post...made me feel bad for thinking of my problems when i see its affecting most of us in one way or the other. Hang in there girly...
Aw no way! All of our problems are important, no matter how different! I just hope SM picks back up soon before we all lose our minds lol. Thank you for reaching, I really needed that <3
Sonikku
08-23-2015, 08:51 AM
You're so right!! How has CB been for you? I try to do mfc when sm is bad, but I only make like ten bucks and my cam score always dips. I prefer a pay per minute because I'm bad with hosting lots of people. I get man fright!! Lol
CB was actually okay for me. Everyone was really nice and understanding (when they weren't perving) and I actually got my first tip within like 5 mins. That's a record haha.
I want to get back on MFC too, but I'm trying to do it one step at a time... I want my anxiety to settle down a little just trying to get on CB for 20 minutes a day.
My camscore sucks everytime i get on too, don't worry LOL.
I'm actually better with token sites (well, I feel like I am), because I really love being the center of attention, entertaining people, and making them feel good about themselves. Like a best buddy that lets you see their tits, basically haha.
Susperia
08-23-2015, 02:12 PM
I am joining the sick girls camming club. I have a terrible rash from doing an oil show last week. The worst part of the rash is now under my left boob and on my left inner thigh. I want to get back on cam Monday, but fear I guys will find me repulsive like this. I don't know what to do or when this stupid rash is gonna go away. Its very aggrivating and it itches and its downright fucking ugly. I wonder if I could find make up to cover it.....I don't know that I can cam like this...should I just be patient and wait for it to go away or jump back on cam and try to hide it and do non nude stuff....which I've never done.....
I hate to be off cam for more than a week because I fear losing my regulars and placement. Not to mention the loss of income that I so desperately need. So that just gives me more anxiety besides wondering if my skin will ever return to normal.
seicento
08-23-2015, 03:48 PM
I am joining the sick girls camming club. I have a terrible rash from doing an oil show last week. The worst part of the rash is now under my left boob and on my left inner thigh. I want to get back on cam Monday, but fear I guys will find me repulsive like this. I don't know what to do or when this stupid rash is gonna go away. Its very aggrivating and it itches and its downright fucking ugly. I wonder if I could find make up to cover it.....I don't know that I can cam like this...should I just be patient and wait for it to go away or jump back on cam and try to hide it and do non nude stuff....which I've never done.....
I hate to be off cam for more than a week because I fear losing my regulars and placement. Not to mention the loss of income that I so desperately need. So that just gives me more anxiety besides wondering if my skin will ever return to normal.
Do not use any cosmetics on your rash!It will only get worse.I know it sucks,I've been worse dealing with hives for over a month but there is nothing to do about it but wait and try to calm down.Avoid hot water,shower gel,body lotions and take care of your diet.Keep on pills and wait.Also I hope you bought hydrocortisone cream for itch like I advised you in your thread because itching makes you more stressed and that would help you.
Yes your skin will return to normal ,you said only boobs and thighs are affected,well I had hives ALL OVER MY BODY and that is worse than a rash and my skin returned to normal.You won't lose your regs nor placement in a week,the more stressed you are the worse it will get.Calm down.
anonymous camgirl
08-23-2015, 05:00 PM
I responded on your Vent thread.. make a baking soda paste with water... the itch relief last for HOURS as much as 4 hours and then reapply.. it's the best better than anything they sell for itching or rashes..
I am joining the sick girls camming club. I have a terrible rash from doing an oil show last week. The worst part of the rash is now under my left boob and on my left inner thigh. I want to get back on cam Monday, but fear I guys will find me repulsive like this. I don't know what to do or when this stupid rash is gonna go away. Its very aggrivating and it itches and its downright fucking ugly. I wonder if I could find make up to cover it.....I don't know that I can cam like this...should I just be patient and wait for it to go away or jump back on cam and try to hide it and do non nude stuff....which I've never done.....
I hate to be off cam for more than a week because I fear losing my regulars and placement. Not to mention the loss of income that I so desperately need. So that just gives me more anxiety besides wondering if my skin will ever return to normal.
Susperia
08-23-2015, 05:50 PM
Thanks for your support ladies. This has never happend to me before. I'm trying to calm down. I got some lye soap and I'm going to try the baking soda tonight. I was prescribed a topical cortosoid cream too.
seicento
08-23-2015, 06:11 PM
Thanks for your support ladies. This has never happend to me before. I'm trying to calm down. I got some lye soap and I'm going to try the baking soda tonight. I was prescribed a topical cortosoid cream too.
I feel you.I KNOW it's not easy but hang in there.Everything will be fine.The rash from oil was my first time too,I thought it was awful ,but one year later got damn hives.That was hell.
Last week i had swollen eyelids for a few days ,allergies suck no matter what form and it's worse when they stop us from doing our job.Hugs.
IsobelWren
08-23-2015, 10:11 PM
Empathy and encouragement? I've only been able to cam like, five days since June because of very strange emerging health problems. This whole summer I've had a constellation of symptoms; back pain, neck pain, difficulty breathing, muscle spasms in my neck and throat, headache, awful fatigue, depression, confusion and mental fuzziness. Some days symptoms worse than other days and they seem to come and go without warning or cause. It's super frustrating because I can feel fine, even really good, and think "cool, I'll cam/do chores/finish projects after [whatever task I'm working on]" and then BAM, flattened by some symptom out of the blue. Scarier, they're slowly getting worse. Doctors have run ALL KINDS of tests on me (my arms are black and blue from so many blood tests. I half think the custies think I'm shooting up) and none of the tests have yielded anything substantial.
By the end of the day after school and my internship I'm totally exhausted. The last two weeks I've not had a single day where I wasn't in pain. This week I've started forcing myself to cam anyway because between not working and the constant doctor visits and medical tests I'm broke as shit. Between not having been on all summer and the guys being able to tell I'm tired (God. They're like sharks with blood in the water, aren't they?) I'm not making good money. I'm frustrated, angry, worried and above all else, tired. "Defeated" keeps echoing through my head. I feel defeated by, well, everything.
And it's taking up my whole mental capacity, but I can't really talk to anyone about it. People in my "real life" generally don't want to hear about someone else's weird, intricate and depressing health problems. The guys on cam CERTAINLY don't want to know, sure way to kill my business even more than it is now.
http://media.giphy.com/media/RWLQxPVWj5n0s/giphy.gif
justanothercamgirl
08-24-2015, 07:23 AM
Empathy and encouragement? I've only been able to cam like, five days since June because of very strange emerging health problems. This whole summer I've had a constellation of symptoms; back pain, neck pain, difficulty breathing, muscle spasms in my neck and throat, headache, awful fatigue, depression, confusion and mental fuzziness. Some days symptoms worse than other days and they seem to come and go without warning or cause. It's super frustrating because I can feel fine, even really good, and think "cool, I'll cam/do chores/finish projects after [whatever task I'm working on]" and then BAM, flattened by some symptom out of the blue. Scarier, they're slowly getting worse. Doctors have run ALL KINDS of tests on me (my arms are black and blue from so many blood tests. I half think the custies think I'm shooting up) and none of the tests have yielded anything substantial.
By the end of the day after school and my internship I'm totally exhausted. The last two weeks I've not had a single day where I wasn't in pain. This week I've started forcing myself to cam anyway because between not working and the constant doctor visits and medical tests I'm broke as shit. Between not having been on all summer and the guys being able to tell I'm tired (God. They're like sharks with blood in the water, aren't they?) I'm not making good money. I'm frustrated, angry, worried and above all else, tired. "Defeated" keeps echoing through my head. I feel defeated by, well, everything.
And it's taking up my whole mental capacity, but I can't really talk to anyone about it. People in my "real life" generally don't want to hear about someone else's weird, intricate and depressing health problems. The guys on cam CERTAINLY don't want to know, sure way to kill my business even more than it is now.
http://media.giphy.com/media/RWLQxPVWj5n0s/giphy.gif
The hardest thing about having a chronic illness when you haven't been sick like that before is learning 'extreme self-care' which is something that is usually a foreign idea to pretty much everyone (and something I still struggle with). Extreme self-care means you need to devote time to make your health a priority on your to-do list. Things like allowing yourself to completely rest and do nothing if only for 10 minutes, learning how to pace, making sure that you are eating nutritionally enough, basically giving yourself enough R&R that you body has time to de-stress and heal.
You are probably thinking to yourself, "My life is too busy, I don't have time for rest and relaxation' but thus comes the trick to it all. If you don't schedule yourself R&R time then your body will force you to take that time anyway....so it is much better to do it on your terms.
http://media.giphy.com/media/QM6nfBpKUxgKA/giphy.gif
Candy_Woman
08-24-2015, 11:15 AM
For the cronic pain the best is low doses naltrexone. Is magic!
anonymous camgirl
08-24-2015, 03:33 PM
How's your IRON?/ sounds like the symptoms I have.. especially chronic shortness of breath.. I take iron whole food supplement and eat red meat a lot!
Empathy and encouragement? I've only been able to cam like, five days since June because of very strange emerging health problems. This whole summer I've had a constellation of symptoms; back pain, neck pain, difficulty breathing, muscle spasms in my neck and throat, headache, awful fatigue, depression, confusion and mental fuzziness. Some days symptoms worse than other days and they seem to come and go without warning or cause. It's super frustrating because I can feel fine, even really good, and think "cool, I'll cam/do chores/finish projects after [whatever task I'm working on]" and then BAM, flattened by some symptom out of the blue. Scarier, they're slowly getting worse. Doctors have run ALL KINDS of tests on me (my arms are black and blue from so many blood tests. I half think the custies think I'm shooting up) and none of the tests have yielded anything substantial.
By the end of the day after school and my internship I'm totally exhausted. The last two weeks I've not had a single day where I wasn't in pain. This week I've started forcing myself to cam anyway because between not working and the constant doctor visits and medical tests I'm broke as shit. Between not having been on all summer and the guys being able to tell I'm tired (God. They're like sharks with blood in the water, aren't they?) I'm not making good money. I'm frustrated, angry, worried and above all else, tired. "Defeated" keeps echoing through my head. I feel defeated by, well, everything.
And it's taking up my whole mental capacity, but I can't really talk to anyone about it. People in my "real life" generally don't want to hear about someone else's weird, intricate and depressing health problems. The guys on cam CERTAINLY don't want to know, sure way to kill my business even more than it is now.
http://media.giphy.com/media/RWLQxPVWj5n0s/giphy.gif
seicento
08-24-2015, 08:14 PM
Does anyone know a home remedy for swollen eyelids?Except cucumber and ice...
To mention ,I had a reaction to eyelashes glue ,taking antihistamines but will last a few days ...It`s not super swollen but visible and annoying to me ,I feel like I have the eyes of a frog when my eyelids get swollen damn it.
IsobelWren
09-01-2015, 05:53 PM
How's your IRON?/ sounds like the symptoms I have.. especially chronic shortness of breath.. I take iron whole food supplement and eat red meat a lot!
Ooh! I'll check that out. Thanks
JaneBurgess
09-01-2015, 08:09 PM
I told you all before how I was sick and had anxiety for years. I knew it wasn't just all in my head like so many doctors claimed. I went to see an Endocrinologist and after many tests I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease in July. It explains so much like the anxiety and random weight gain. So happy to finally know what the hell is wrong with me. I'm posting this because I know some of you were in the same boat, not knowing what you really suffer from. If you can afford an Endocrinologist I highly recommend it.
Now I have to change my diet and lose 12 pounds but I can do it.
seicento
09-01-2015, 08:48 PM
I told you all before how I was sick and had anxiety for years. I knew it wasn't just all in my head like so many doctors claimed. I went to see an Endocrinologist and after many tests I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease in July. It explains so much like the anxiety and random weight gain. So happy to finally know what the hell is wrong with me. I'm posting this because I know some of you were in the same boat, not knowing what you really suffer from. If you can afford an Endocrinologist I highly recommend it.
Now I have to change my diet and lose 12 pounds but I can do it.
Is good that you found out.I have anxiety and some of the symptoms could be caused by thyroid ,I saw an endocrinologist back in may and my thyroid is fine.I didnt know if to be happy or sad ,I was kind of hoping my symptoms to be caused by some physical thing and not be only anxiety because a physical illness (usually)can be treated faster while anxiety...oh well,we all know it's a long way.
pinklemonade0
09-02-2015, 05:40 AM
I just read a few pages of this and I'm sorry for all you're struggling with :(. I have health problems and one part of the reason it's getting to me at the moment is stress about money and also trying to appear fine to customers. I was made redundant from my full time job because of the health problems (I don't want to list them on here). But ppl on cam will say... oh your life must be great, so much fun, all this stuff - I try to bite my tongue (is this the best thing to do) but I slip sometimes with them. Before this I was doing 12 hours shifts trying to make ends meet... then they say things like I shoudl buy some new underwear...I have one pair of jeans, I have an empty flat there are other priorities right now, my bills, everything is expensive... now worry about money on top of that...
All of my physical injuries were from one bad accident many years ago, I wish it had never happened, that's life...
I portray this person always giggling and smiling and having fun... truth being my life has been horrible 2015... has been awful
I sometimes just want to tell them the truth, try to live on what I have been living on you watch every single tiny bit of money ... I hope camming brings me out of this hole. I have already reduced my overdraft limit so I'm happy about that.
You want to tell the truth to whom pink? To ur members? If so, just DONT, they dont care sweetie, all they want is a hot woman to wank over, they come to us to relax and feel good not to get to really know us, when they claim they want, is just not true, they want our sexy side, nothing else.
I am sorry for u struggling with life issues & health issues, just know u not alone, many of us are in situations that make our lives and work harder including myself. None of my members know i am in pain most of the time & i barely can perform sometimes (back issues), when i get on cam i enter 'work mode', i put a large smile on my face, is not fake by the way, is natural but induced, i try to ignore the pain & do my thing, when i cant stand it anymore i log off & get rest, it's all i can do if i want to continue functioning.
Yes, the stress about making the needed money is real, when u have health issues & u know u the only bread winner in the house it's just hard cause u wanna know u have enough for basic needs, bills & all expenses NOT KNOWING if tomorrow u'll be able to make money again.
Dont listen to what people tell u about buying new underwear, believe me i have tons of underwear & they dont appreciate what i have, they wanna see me modelling my body in my hot stuff all for free haha, yeah right. Not buying new stuff anymore here.
Do what i do sweetie, if ur life is hard, make a fake one for the camera, just pretend, make them believe ur life is fabulous & u healthy, happy & u have all u need, THEY DONT NEED TO KNOW more than u willing to tell. Good luck there xxx
anonymous camgirl
09-02-2015, 08:54 AM
Thanks!.. I need a constant reminder telling these members about my life...LOL
You want to tell the truth to whom pink? To ur members? If so, just DONT, they dont care sweetie, all they want is a hot woman to wank over, they come to us to relax and feel good not to get to really know us, when they claim they want, is just not true, they want our sexy side, nothing else.
I am sorry for u struggling with life issues & health issues, just know u not alone, many of us are in situations that make our lives and work harder including myself. None of my members know i am in pain most of the time & i barely can perform sometimes (back issues), when i get on cam i enter 'work mode', i put a large smile on my face, is not fake by the way, is natural but induced, i try to ignore the pain & do my thing, when i cant stand it anymore i log off & get rest, it's all i can do if i want to continue functioning.
Yes, the stress about making the needed money is real, when u have health issues & u know u the only bread winner in the house it's just hard cause u wanna know u have enough for basic needs, bills & all expenses NOT KNOWING if tomorrow u'll be able to make money again.
Dont listen to what people tell u about buying new underwear, believe me i have tons of underwear & they dont appreciate what i have, they wanna see me modelling my body in my hot stuff all for free haha, yeah right. Not buying new stuff anymore here.
Do what i do sweetie, if ur life is hard, make a fake one for the camera, just pretend, make them believe ur life is fabulous & u healthy, happy & u have all u need, THEY DONT NEED TO KNOW more than u willing to tell. Good luck there xxx
pinklemonade0
09-02-2015, 09:19 AM
Thank you so much for your post - you're right. It's also easier for me if I don't mention it to them I think.
I'm sorry to hear about your back :(. It sounds difficult xxx
You mention rest... I've realised I went crazy and worked I think all days but one this past month. So maybe why I feel a bit tired. Maybe I take today off :)
JaneBurgess
09-02-2015, 12:55 PM
It still could be an illness, just not a thyroid problem. I know someone with terrible anxiety and it turned out she had Celiac disease. You can also have anxiety from stomach or intestinal issues. So many illnesses have anxiety as a symptom and its a pain to have to suffer while you search for the real root of the problem.
Is good that you found out.I have anxiety and some of the symptoms could be caused by thyroid ,I saw an endocrinologist back in may and my thyroid is fine.I didnt know if to be happy or sad ,I was kind of hoping my symptoms to be caused by some physical thing and not be only anxiety because a physical illness (usually)can be treated faster while anxiety...oh well,we all know it's a long way.
seicento
09-02-2015, 01:18 PM
It still could be an illness, just not a thyroid problem. I know someone with terrible anxiety and it turned out she had Celiac disease. You can also have anxiety from stomach or intestinal issues. So many illnesses have anxiety as a symptom and its a pain to have to suffer while you search for the real root of the problem.
I do have some stomach issues but no doc put my anxiety into that.Other than that,a bronchitis and nothing else found.I don't know...after a lot of investigations I came to the conclusion that it's all from my head,although I dont understand how this hit me or why.I have terrible anxiety and panic but I know it could be worse than that.I changed my therapist recently and I do CBT ,hoping it will help.I never been on medication except some natural stuff and I really don't want to go on medication.But if CBT won't "fix" me,I might consider...Some days is hard to get thru all of this especially when you have no idea what caused it and why you feel the way you do ,that's why I said is good for you that you have more info now about what was causing your anxiety .I wish I found what's causing mine.
JaneBurgess
09-02-2015, 09:55 PM
I understand. My anxiety started one day and never went away. I started having massive panic attacks and honestly thought I was going insane. I had to go on meds because after four months I was getting a bit agoraphobic. I do CBT and it really is a help, much better than meds in my opinion. I really hope it helps you and you do find out the source. Even if it is just straight up anxiety it still has a root cause.
I do have some stomach issues but no doc put my anxiety into that.Other than that,a bronchitis and nothing else found.I don't know...after a lot of investigations I came to the conclusion that it's all from my head,although I dont understand how this hit me or why.I have terrible anxiety and panic but I know it could be worse than that.I changed my therapist recently and I do CBT ,hoping it will help.I never been on medication except some natural stuff and I really don't want to go on medication.But if CBT won't "fix" me,I might consider...Some days is hard to get thru all of this especially when you have no idea what caused it and why you feel the way you do ,that's why I said is good for you that you have more info now about what was causing your anxiety .I wish I found what's causing mine.
pinkpink
09-03-2015, 12:12 PM
I don't wanna post in Camming Sucks so I'm here. I am just so tired, drained. I can't muster motivation or energy to do anything productive at the moment. And my sites are all dead dead dead. Which isn't helping my attitude. I know I need to take responsibility and change things to make more money. My back is aching. Maybe it's my period and that's why I'm so blaaaaaaaah. IDK. I'm supposed to go out tomorrow (nothing to wear) and I'm going away next weekend (broke as shit) but I tell myself I NEED to go out tomorrow and go away next weekend because I need to get out of my head/my room and socialize. So I can come back to camming refreshed, because sitting here staring at computer screens isn't helping. idkkkkkkkkkk. thanks for listening.
seicento
09-03-2015, 12:33 PM
Damn fatigue.It's so late and I didn't do shit today.I just can't move.Why am I so exhausted when I did NOTHING?Anxiety most probably.Making a coffee and see if I can drag my ass on cam .If coffee doesn't work,then I don't know what's left to try.Shit,I feel so tired :(
Sonikku
09-09-2015, 03:19 AM
I'm starting to think I have fibromyalgia or something.
I noticed yesterday that I'm in a lot of pain and I get instantly tired when my anxiety is really consuming, but in a dull, mentally numbing way.
Physically, doing anything, even lying down hurts. I don't want to be touched or anything.
I have a temp solution for part of my anxiety: FUCK STREAMATE.
My anxiety flares up the worst when I worry about the technical status of SM, and looking up the SM thread here just encourages it.
I'm going to talk to my doctor about medication that can help me with anxiety, pain, sleep, or a combination of something because I've literally just turned into an irritable potato.
Tired of it.
Also, my night terrors have come back. I only get them when I try napping during the day, since I only sleep 3-4 hours at night... And since I'm afraid of having night terrors, I refuse to sleep until it's late enough.
I'm so sleep deprived, people have been asking me if I'm even speaking English when I talk.
I just slew out words and curse a lot if I can even think of a curse word.
Is anyone taking meds for anxiety?
I was on klonopin. It was okay, but I need something that's more fast acting.. I think. The onset of pain or whatever during my peak of anxiety is really unbearable.
Setting a doctor's appointment asap this morning and hopefully I can figure out something today.
For now, I'm just going to face my fears and get on friggin' token sites; my worst enemy, but probably will bloom on them if I can get over insecurity and overall anxiety.
justanothercamgirl
09-16-2015, 10:03 PM
http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Stay+awesome+my+friends+despite+what+everyone+tell s+you+you+re_042e20_4672755.jpg
Aurora14
09-17-2015, 09:15 AM
This sucks. I was doing really good for a couple of months. I was so motivated to work. Kept on my schedule and had fun. Then I had oral surgery in the beginning of the month and wanted to take advantage of it for clips. I ended up with dry socket. In pain because dry socket sucks, couldn't sleep because of the pain, couldn't talk because I had my mouth packed. It was miserable. Now I haven't done anything in 3 weeks. I've exhausted my emergency clips, can't find the motivation to do anything really.
Plus I was being dicked around by C4S support trying to open my new store. It's still not open, they would respond to my tickets, ask a question, not respond for 24 hrs and ask me another question type of deal. It sucked, because since I couldn't film I had been focusing on opening this store. I spent 2 weeks transferring clip files and descriptions from my old store (because it is a category specific store). Turns out I need 10 BRAND NEW clip files to open the store (I am marking all moved content as being transferred to avoid ripping customers off). Now, I do have some new clips, but there are only 8 so I had them spaced out so I had updates twice a week until I got back from vacation. Well, for the reasons stated above, no additional new clips currently = no new store. I'm thinking of saying screw it, but I want to open the store strong and avoid time without new videos.
Yesterday was the first day I cleaned my house. I took a nice long shower and shaved. Talked to the girl that drives me to work to see if she would bring me in this weekend. I'm going to spray tan, shave my mohawk, style my wigs, and get my dancebag ready for the next 2 weeks. I have bills, a vacation, and my kid's birthday (that I'm late getting a present for) to pay for by the end of the month. I'm stressing, and dancing is the only way I can get cash in hand. Fingers crossed.
JaneBurgess
09-17-2015, 01:06 PM
Ask for some Ativan. I take that as needed and it works really well and kicks in fast. I was on Klonopin but it takes so damn long to start working. Plus for me it didnt really help with my anxiety.
I'm starting to think I have fibromyalgia or something.
I noticed yesterday that I'm in a lot of pain and I get instantly tired when my anxiety is really consuming, but in a dull, mentally numbing way.
Physically, doing anything, even lying down hurts. I don't want to be touched or anything.
I have a temp solution for part of my anxiety: FUCK STREAMATE.
My anxiety flares up the worst when I worry about the technical status of SM, and looking up the SM thread here just encourages it.
I'm going to talk to my doctor about medication that can help me with anxiety, pain, sleep, or a combination of something because I've literally just turned into an irritable potato.
Tired of it.
Also, my night terrors have come back. I only get them when I try napping during the day, since I only sleep 3-4 hours at night... And since I'm afraid of having night terrors, I refuse to sleep until it's late enough.
I'm so sleep deprived, people have been asking me if I'm even speaking English when I talk.
I just slew out words and curse a lot if I can even think of a curse word.
Is anyone taking meds for anxiety?
I was on klonopin. It was okay, but I need something that's more fast acting.. I think. The onset of pain or whatever during my peak of anxiety is really unbearable.
Setting a doctor's appointment asap this morning and hopefully I can figure out something today.
For now, I'm just going to face my fears and get on friggin' token sites; my worst enemy, but probably will bloom on them if I can get over insecurity and overall anxiety.
TheBrownFox
09-19-2015, 07:34 PM
Can I temporarily join the club? I have a concussion (got hurt at the beginning of this week), and doctor's orders to relax and not return to work until September 20th (tomorrow). Head's been fucking throbbing.
justanothercamgirl
09-20-2015, 10:23 AM
Can I temporarily join the club? I have a concussion (got hurt at the beginning of this week), and doctor's orders to relax and not return to work until September 20th (tomorrow). Head's been fucking throbbing.
You are always welcome in any club I am in, bb! ♥
I am sorry to hear about your head. :(
EllieGold
09-20-2015, 10:58 AM
So this is my first post here... where do I start? I had *have sometimes still* severe anxiety, I am 7.5 months pregnant and I'm also dealing with depression. I don't take medication for it right now, but I used to when I was younger. I find it didn't help in my case but I know that I really need to get back and try another one. I developed anxiety back in 2010 (overnight i swear). I ended up in the ER with a severe panic attack and it changed my whole world. I felt like I hyperventilated myself close to death. My limbs went completely numb and I couldn't talk for 10 or so minutes. All the nurse did was yell at me to calm down (effective at best *eye roll*). I wouldn't leave the house, i wouldn't get in the car, I would have a panic attack everyday almost for 2 years after this. Finally in 2013, I felt like the anxiety subsided. I didn't take any medicine for it. All I did was lose 40 pounds in the course of those 2 years and stopped drinking cola. My highest weight was 220 and I dropped down to 180. I still feel like I'm stuck with the depression, some weeks are good and others are straight terrible. It's so up & down these days I wish I could find something that makes things more leveled out.
I feel like I really some motivation to get on cam and make some more $. I have not even filmed any videos in 2 weeks. My C4S store is taking a huge hit. I have no family or friend support. None of my friends know I cam, just the hubby. I know that if hubbys family finds out what I do for money, it will be spread throughout the family and I will become more of a black sheep to them. This is kinda a big deal reaching out on a thread for support as I've been called negative for doing this once already. This week has been kinda hard to get on cam despite NEEDING money. I get nervous and wonder all the time "why am i wasting my time?". Despite some days making good money and others I make pennies. It's a constant worry in the pit of my stomach. Ugh.
Now excuse me while i deal with this cold I just developed this morning. I logged off last night because I couldn't stop sounding stuffed up. lol.
justanothercamgirl
09-21-2015, 07:52 AM
http://i.imgur.com/Y7HTvbC.png
anonymous camgirl
09-21-2015, 08:14 AM
So many of us are experiencing health problems. The best way to get a handle on this is treat the WHOLE body. Start there first NOT last. Do not try to treat just your symptoms as your whole body is working together synergistically. Everything is connected. Often times mental illness is being manifested from a physical ailment you have and don't know it. I am still working on my breathing issue and having success. It's very difficult to get doctors to help as they only read lab tests and suggest medications or supplements. BUT the problem with that is treating JUST your thyroid or JUST another organ is NOT really getting you to optimal health. If you are having problems with ONE organ , trust me you are having problems with all of them..It's a domino effect. So I would highly suggest you start with a whole foods supplement. I will always recommend Dr Schulze Superfood it's superior to any other green food supplement. But anything is better than nothing. I have started experimenting also with Youngevity's products.. Beyond Tangy tangerine , plant minerals, osteo fx... EFA's , zradical.. Here is what you need to get your body back online.
Whole food supplement
Minerals
EFA's
Clean up your diet.
If you are experiencing Digestive issues try Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar
If you are trying to target a specific problem then work on that as an add on to all the above I mentioned.
I am also taking Selenium but you don't want TOO much of that
Throughout my ordeal I have also experienced depression, anxiety , mood swings.. Suicidal thoughts.. All manifestations of what is really going on with me.
I have NO anxiety anymore.. I have never really had a problem with anxiety ONLY when Something is physically wrong. So if you think that's your problem? listen to me when I tell you emphatically it is NOT. I have done tons of research because I am trying to heal myself.
I suspect I have a thyroid issue and I am not getting any help with these doctors.. So I started treating myself anyways.. Doing all the above and upping my Selenium and also I am taking a Fucoidan supplement called Zradical and I upped my consumption of Superfood to 4 scoops instead of 3 and I am happy to report that I have almost licked my shortness of breath but still in limbo.
I had 2 blissful days of clear breathing.. but I am not completely out of the woods yet. Not to mention my weight is going down little by little whereas I would literally have to starve myself to get my weight down.
It's not cheap but the more you fix your health the more you can work and the more you can have a better life.
MyRealNameIsWeird
09-21-2015, 02:04 PM
First post:
-I have a milder disorder from the bipolar spectrum, so, not BP1, but still not certain if it's BP2 or anything else.
-I am a compulsive, perfectionist control freak. Which makes camming good (no authority) but also bad (some days's income aren't guaranteed).
-Minor issues with dysmorphia and the skeletons of an eating disorder.
-The second two probably come from the first, as they follow the mood cycle.
-I am not on medication as I do not respond to hormonal treatment and I'm wary of antidepressants, as they made my afflicted relatives suicidal.
Some days camming is easy. Some days the money makes me happier, even if it's literally £15 before I log off. Some days I have no energy and keep going because money (today, woo!). Some days not meeting my target (be it £30 or £200) makes me depressed. Some days I can't see the point of anything. And the days generally come and go in that order. I'm not looking forward to the unattainable targets and the misery of crashing self worth and existential depression. But here they come anyway.
webcamcutie
09-23-2015, 08:06 AM
Coming down with a wonderful fall cold, due to the kiddo bringing home something from school. Sitting here with the sniffles, my eyes are watering and the little bit of makeup I put on doesn't want to stay on.. please don't let it be a gagging day so I don't wear off the rest of the makeup I put on. Ugh. :O
MyRealNameIsWeird
09-24-2015, 04:54 AM
I can hardly find the motivation to move, slept literally half a day and need to sleep more, but here I am waiting for work and trying to look happy. Wish me luck.
justanothercamgirl
09-24-2015, 01:21 PM
I can hardly find the motivation to move, slept literally half a day and need to sleep more, but here I am waiting for work and trying to look happy. Wish me luck.
https://media.giphy.com/media/F9ZS1A13OrquI/giphy.gif
justanothercamgirl
09-28-2015, 09:22 PM
As you all may or may not know, my health took a turn for the worst at the end of last year and I had to give up camming completely. The huge drop in my income from illness left me unable to afford to live in my apartment anymore. I was forced to give it up and moved into shared accommodations in a new city where I rented a single room in a full house.
It took a quarter of this year for me to even get well enough to be able to spend large portions of my time out of bed on a regular basis. The rest of this year has been a frustrating exercise in patience while trying to make money with other types of adult work while essentially living in 100 square feet of space and having rude and demanding roommates
At the beginning of this month, one of my roommates craziness amplified to the point where she was breaking my stuff for no reason what so ever and I was forced to move to another city yet again. (I have moved 9 times in the last 4 years.)
But.....this is where the good news comes in. I lucked out and managed to find a bedroom apartment in that other city for $50 more then I was paying for a single room. I won't be able to move in till November so I am stuck renting yet another single room until then...but hey, I don't care. Finally, I will have my own damn space again and privacy.....wonderful, wonderful privacy!
My health has been slowly stabling out at a snail's pace and I should be able to return to camming for the beginning of the next year.
https://media.giphy.com/media/qE4ph7Tl9e4tG/giphy.gif
I know this was a super long post to read and I truly thank you if you are still here with me reading it. I am just so over-the-top excited to be able to return to camming in the near future and I have no one else to share that excitement with so I hope you bbs don't mind my sharing it with you.
A year is a damn long time to be sick....and I can't wait to get my old working life back again.
Aurora14
09-28-2015, 09:31 PM
^ You/We can only take things one day at a time!
justanothercamgirl
09-28-2015, 09:39 PM
^ You/We can only take things one day at a time!
So true!
My motto this year has been a quote I read by Winston Churchill.
"If you're going through hell, keep going."
^^^ so what is the meaning then? ".... keep going to get out of hell"? My back hurts soo bad to the point i can barely function, it's difficult to work, do my domestic things in the house or go out shopping or running errands, i feel a surgery is needed but i dont see how to go about it cause this will mean financial collapse here if i am 'out of order' for a while.
I just pray i dont break down & an emergency situation arrives...
MyRealNameIsWeird
09-28-2015, 10:30 PM
So happy for you, camgirl. ^u^
My sick girls note: Should I view mania as a good day or a bad day? Because I'm getting shit done, making bank and happy, but I know I will crash and burn in two days. And then I'll not work and hate myself for it. And I don't have the energy for another crash followed by a period followed by depression cause I haven't worked in two weeks.
I want to try hormones again but I'm scared because last time it evened me out til I was numb and made me bleed for a month straight. :/
justanothercamgirl
09-29-2015, 06:10 AM
^^^ so what is the meaning then? ".... keep going to get out of hell"? My back hurts soo bad to the point i can barely function, it's difficult to work, do my domestic things in the house or go out shopping or running errands, i feel a surgery is needed but i dont see how to go about it cause this will mean financial collapse here if i am 'out of order' for a while.
I just pray i dont break down & an emergency situation arrives...
Yep. It means that if you find yourself in a miserable place that you want to get out of the only way to do so is to keep focusing on placing one foot after the other. The longer you stop trying to do anything to get out of that place the longer you are stuck in it. :)
MyRealNameIsWeird
10-01-2015, 10:58 AM
Spotted this and thought it would be nice to share with others who struggle with mental illness or whose physical illness gets overwhelming:
42756
I may not know any of you personally, but I wish you all much love and peace and the strength you need to keep marching on every day. :)
EffyRose
10-01-2015, 12:07 PM
^ Thank you! I love that so much.
justanothercamgirl
10-02-2015, 12:16 PM
Freaking Red Dragon. :/
http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/what-goes-through-my-head-when-im-on-my-period.jpg
For me period days are soo difficult to deal with, at least 2-3 days i have such a heavy flow that i recently had to buy a waterproof sheet to cover my bed with cause when i sleep, no matter i use an internal absorbent plus external one, it'll leak & reach the mattress no kidding. There is a procedure i can have done but i need a chunk of money to pay for it, i hope soon i'll be able to afford that so i can feel a human being again & not a bleeding pig that days *ewwww*
SubSpace666
10-06-2015, 10:08 AM
I stumbled across this thread, and honestly, this is a difficult issue for me. Maybe some of you can relate to my situation...
I was diagnosed Bipolar when I was hospitalized at 17 for suicidal ideations. I was suicidal and depressed from 13 to about 24 years old.
I have struggled with being on prescription meds for depression and Bipolar, such as zoloft, wellbutrin, seroquil, paxil, gabapentin, lithium (the only one that truly worked, but I couldn't stand the side effects), and many more that I just don't remember the names of. So most of my life I have cycled between being sober and taking prescription meds, and then being fucked up all the time by using street drugs. I had years of cocaine, ecstasy, and alcohol use as well as LSD, mushrooms, GHB, ketamine, and heroin. I ended up shooting heroin for almost a year a couple years ago, and this was a result of me dating someone who was a user (sober when I met him, but then quickly relapsed while with me), and because I was raped, which brings me to my next plethora of issues.
I was raped by my best friend's baby's father which was really tough for me since she was like my sister for 8 years, and I had known him for about 5 years before this happened and considered him a good friend. Bc I lived in a smaller city, everyone found out pretty quickly. I was labeled a liar (even by my drug addict boyfriend), tried to press charges but had to drop them, and going through working with the investigator on my case was hard enough, causing me panic attacks every day for months, and then having to drop the charges for lack of evidence (since i waited 5 days to contact police, blaming myself for what happened), and then to make matters worse I had to not only work with my ex-best friend and the guys current GF, but his current GF was stalking me in real life and creating fake pages online to imitate me, which was hell since I was just desperately trying to recover from what happened to me. I was so close to killing myself. I did not care if I overdosed from the heroin I was using, and I did, about 4 times in one month. Luckily (I guess) my ex was there to "save" me and he shot me up with cocaine, which is not responsible, but when you're an illegal drug user that lives in a country that criminalizes drug addicts instead of viewing it as a public health issue, you do what you can to avoid legal problems or labels.
Then to make matters even worse, after moving to Florida to stay clean and change my life, I was raped again and robbed by two men I didn't even know, after I was drugged by a local bartender that evening, and I pressed charges, but they are still pending, and the police seem to be of no help at all.
The last fiasco happened this past April.
I have been clean from dope/needles for about 9 months now...
I was talking to my ex (not the drug addict) who is very close to me still, and we care very much about each other (although he can't handle my line of work at all and has his own mental baggage), and I was telling him about my plans to go into camming and making content, and creating my own site- and he actually made a very legitimate point: Have the pain and suffering I endured from being sexually assaulted causing me to take these actions? And how much of my Bipolar accounts for my extreme motivation to do these things? He could be biased in the fact that he does not want me doing this work and that he cares about my well-being, but I can't help but ponder whether he is right or not. Will I regret doing all of this later down the line?
I have been focusing on staying clean, being healthy, working out, meditating, picking up hobbies and areas of interest, setting my future goals, coming up with a 5 and 10 year plan, thinking of my future, getting rid of negative people and influences or stress in my life, bringing in new friends to my life that are helpful and supportive that aren't mixed up in the bad things I used to do, practicing LOA, staying connected to my higher power, and maing sure I have a support network in place if I ever need help.
I am far from perfect, and I struggle with insecurities ona daily basis. Sometimes I feel like I am nothing and I would be better off dead. My whole life has been an existential funk..... A cluster fuck of misery. Will I ever become happy and successful?
I try my best to stay positive, happy, and healthy, but some days I just stay in my pijamas and shut myself off fromt he world. Sleep seems to be the only thing I can do to escape any negative feelings, since I rarely have dreams, I don't have to worry about anything bothering me while I sleep.
I hope some of you can relate to some of this, and that we can all find the hope to keep going. Life gets better. Sometimes it has to get worse before it can improve. But my life is what I make of it, and I refuse to be a victim or a statistic. Namaste to all of you!
God bless... and keep your pretty little head up!
Candy_Woman
10-06-2015, 01:26 PM
I understand very well. I am a survivor of incest. My first job was as a prostitute, for three long and terrible years. Hate every minute, but was unable to find another way to leave home. Then I went back to school and found a decent job as a nurse, I thought I was fixing my life. Then my hospital decided to fire some workers to increase profits; the stress of being unemployed shot some health problems that have become chronic.
And here I am; the cam seems a way of working supports my health problems, in addition to the advantages of having leaders who can exploit you and goodbye. But while my past makes me not feel comfortable in a job like this and do not know if I will find a way to survive well.
Every time I give to the button "Start the show" I have a little anxiety attack.
MyRealNameIsWeird
10-07-2015, 12:36 AM
Welcome, Nirvana! Sorry to hear what you've been through. :( Getting rid of negative people is always a big one, or at least it was for me. I found out a while ago I was surrounded by people who reminded me of some darker aspects of my past. I don't know why I collected these people, but I avoid them now and cut people out as soon as they look like they will turn out that way. It looks antisocial to most friends and family, but the peace of mind is amazing. Also, to be honest: the power. Knowing I am strong and smart and free enough to just say bye-bye to anyone and everyone has ended a very bad cycle of paranoia about dependence and destitution.
I'm feeling a lot better today. But I'm also angry at myself for needing a lie in. I wish I could just get up at four in the morning and go to bed at ten or eleven every day, but I can't and when I do it can trigger such a complete rundown that I need rest the next day. I'm glad I made the most of yesterday, don't get me wrong, but I'm also annoyed that I have two days left in this "week" and only one of them can be an early-morning full day. On the other hand, if I got up at six one day I'd still need to sleep til eight or ten the next, so I may as well go crazy with my early mornings. I hate having no choice about this.
I'm considering trying ephedrin to see if it breaks my lethargy, but I'm a bit reserved as it may also ruin my appetite further and send my mania into overdrive. At least it isn't amphetamines or SSRIs. If next month I'm on here a lot more because I can't focus on shit, you'll know why. Can't be worse than hormone therapy was, though.